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The divide between rich and poor is only widening as the middle class steadily disappears. The difference between the haves and the have nots gets even more stark when you consider the shrinking job market and the strain the global economy is under.
Someone asked the internet, “Poor people who dated rich people, what did you learn?” and netizens were only too happy to weigh in with their own experiences of dating across the income gap. Here’s a collection of some of the most poignant.
More info: Reddit
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#1
That good parents are better than rich parents.
Tabitha 5 months ago
This! The amount of your paycheck, as long as you’re keeping body and soul and the family together, doesn’t matter as much as much as your time, your presence, and your parenting style. If you’re an authoritative parent, and not an authoritarian one, who loves their partner and children with all your heart—-and are not afraid to show it—-your kids will turn out just fine.
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#2
Not dated but was best friends with. They will never truly be able to even begin to comprehend your struggles, and therefore they will constantly dismiss and minimize your problems, which will lead you to be extremely frustrated. Trying to explain to someone that you can’t afford takeout and need them to do their dishes right now so you can cook, while they are telling you to just order out and put it on a credit card, most of the time it’s not worth the friendship.
Lyoness 5 months ago
If their cluelessness isn't worth addressing then there wasn't really a friendship to begin with, at least IMHO.
Vinnie 5 months ago
I knew a wealthy student who made the effort to understand others because she was self-aware. The rich friend here sounds like someone who refuses to adapt, let alone learn to help others.
Load More Replies... #3
An idiot with lots of money is still an idiot.
Andrew Keir 5 months ago
But, in time, they're usually an idiot who *used* to have a lot of money
Love doesn’t always play by the same rulebook when it comes to money. Sometimes, a couple can come from wildly different financial worlds and that can create awkward situations. What feels like a “normal” lunch to one person might be a splurge for another, making everyday moments an unexpected lesson in priorities, boundaries, and understanding.
It’s not just about fancy dinners or expensive trips. The differences run deeper, shaping how both people relate to money itself. Someone used to stretching every dollar can struggle to comprehend how easily another spends, while a wealthy partner might forget that some gestures can carry more weight than their price tag suggests.
#4
Generally they can't cook well, but somehow have the best kitchen gear.
Mel in Georgia 5 months ago
Not always true, but a lot of the richest of the rich never cook. They hire chefs when they have people over.
K Barnes 5 months ago
It always amazes me the number of private chefs that are in business. I've never been able to hire a private chef for a dinner but clearly a lot of people can do so often.
Load More Replies... #5
Married a rich person. Regular problems arise but also unbelievably silly problems that only happen when you have too much money and no real problems so you gotta make some up. Extended family is building a 2 million dollar custom home in a rural area and are deeply distraught that the specialty plumbing expert they need to fly in from Norway in will cost $$$ to get a *consult,* which does not include install nor the inevitable future maintenance. Dawg you do not need fancy European plumbing in rural Idaho trust me.
Nicole Weymann 5 months ago
TIL that we have fancy plumbing over here 😂 (in Europe - I'm not Norwegian)
Khavrinen 5 months ago
Or maybe some Norwegian plumber just managed to convince someone with more money than sense that their "specialty" plumbing was worth the extreme price.
Load More Replies... #6
I learned that every family has similar issues, rich people can just solve them quicker. .
Michael Largey 5 months ago (edited)
No, not all issues are in common. Rich families can always feed their children and give them needed medical care. There are a few hundred thousand other differences.
Even gift-giving can highlight differences. What one person considers a modest, thoughtful gift can seem insignificant to someone accustomed to expensive gestures. Meanwhile, an elaborate present can overwhelm a partner who values sentiment over cost. Suddenly, gifts aren’t just gifts; they’re statements about belonging and worth.
These moments can sting when one person feels misunderstood or overlooked. The wealthy partner may not realize that their idea of generosity can highlight an imbalance. Meanwhile, the other person might struggle to accept help, fearing it compromises their independence or creates a quiet sense of guilt between them.
#7
Idea that having the money = having the controls, and being shocked when you’re just not impressed,.
Tabitha 5 months ago
Whenever someone starts bragging about money, houses, cars, boats, etc, I always shake my head and laugh at them—-in full view of them too. It sticks a pin in their overinflated egos and shows them they’re not as impressive to everyone as they think they are (sycophants and gold diggers excluded, of course).
Earonn - 5 months ago
I always show how bored I am by their pathetic bragging. "Oh, *really*? Yeah, whatever." Luckily, it's very long since I had to do that for the last time. I do meet very rich people but generally it's frowned upon to boast with it where I live.
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#8
That most are actually way more humble than your larping rich person. Theres a huge difference in how the woman with the Gucci belt, LV bag, and a negative balance will treat you vs. The man in head to toe TJ Maxx but has 2mil in his account.
#9
That they are often insulated from the experience of peasant life. I was working 12 hour shifts in an industrial kitchen trying to save up enough for my next semester of college. Her friend (whose house had a fully stocked kitchen that only 'the staff' ever used) heard that I was working to pay for school and therefore could not take time off to go on a vacation. She took a moment to think about my situation, looked concerned with her furrowed brow, and then finally asked "why don't you just tell your parents? school is a good thing, of course they'll want to pay for that.".
Vinnie 5 months ago (edited)
And that, boys and girls, is why my in-law (corporate lawyer) was more interested in hiring the law student who had to sell cars to pay for law school than the ones who got to spend summers volunteering overseas. (Nothing wrong with volunteering, but selling cars usually involves more transferable skills and grit)
Then, there’s the matter of belonging, or feeling like an outsider. A person from a humble background can feel out of place when surrounded by friends and family accustomed to a certain lifestyle. The wealthy partner might forget how isolating that can be, especially when their world doesn’t quite fit their loved one’s reality.
The best connections happen when both sides openly acknowledge these differences. Talking openly about money doesn’t kill romance, it builds trust. By accepting where each person came from and where they are now, couples can find a space where understanding and belonging matter more than income or status.
#10
Money insulates the family from accountability. The behavior I'd see out of them sometimes over the smallest things was shocking.
Andrew Keir 5 months ago
And yet, the 'old money' people tend to have style and politeness that makes life easier for them and everyone they meet
Olive Moon 5 months ago
Agreed. But they’re still insulated from accountability. A team of high powered lawyers vs a public defender. Daddy/Mommy helping to make indiscretions/misdemeanours disappear through family/political ties.You can’t pretend that doesn’t happen.
Load More Replies... #11
That even when they struggled in the early days, most have them forgotten what it’s like to not have money. They lose touch with reality real quick. A couple thousand here and there is nothing, meanwhile we live paycheck to paycheck(ish) and they cant understand why.
#12
Money doesn’t make good parents, and bad parents plus unlimited resources just makes bad people.
What really makes relationships work across financial divides is respect. Respect for each person’s struggles and habits, respect for the ways money shaped their outlook, and respect for the feelings that arise when old fears or insecurities bubble to the surface, reminding both partners that their worth goes far beyond dollar signs.
At the end of the day, it’s not about matching incomes or splitting every check down the middle - it’s about creating a space where both people can feel valued, heard, and loved, regardless of their bank balance. True belonging shines brighter than any price tag, making the moments that matter perfectly priceless.
#13
I find wealthy men make the best lovers.
Is that true?
No, but if you tell them that sometimes they give you their credit card and let you loose in the mall for an hour.
Lyoness 5 months ago
If someone hands me a credit card I'm buying YSL or Chanel, not BBW (ok no, not really, because I'm not a golddigger, but it's fun to imagine buying luxe brands for once).
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#14
Equestrianism is a ***thing***
Also, pretty much any labor you can imagine, there is a service pool you can hire for it.
Tabitha 5 months ago (edited)
Equestrianism AND horse breeding. I knew a rich guy who bred horses. He always said the only way to make $1 million breeding horses is to spend $2 million breeding horses. If you have that kind of rusty old money laying around, and nothing better to waste it on, then go ahead and breed horses as a very expensive and money pit kind of hobby. Though your money would be much much better invested in charity work that’s actually necessary (not stupid “fluff” stuff like beautifying yet another parcel of unused land—-and they’re always pieces of land in proximity or view of the rich neighborhoods—-but feeding and clothing people, helping them find decent jobs, and making sure they have a safe roof over their heads, ffs).
Lady Eowyn 5 months ago
Being involved with horses can be done at a multitude of financial levels. I was never rich, I gave up a lot of other stuff to have my horse (movies, restaurants, etc) but it was worth it.
#15
Money can't buy good mental health.
Mabelbabel 5 months ago (edited)
But it does mean that you have access to medical and mental healthcare and therapists as needed. And you can take a break from working. And you can afford to bring in additional help if that's contributing to stress (domestic assistance, childcare assistance etc). Being rich doesn't guarantee good medical or mental health, but it does allow better access to tools and facilities to improve it.
Lyoness 5 months ago
It also depends on how you get that money. When working at a high stress job our family had plenty of dosh but we were miserable (partner was basically a single parent, I was working 16 hours days). Left the job, have way less money, we're all way more happy. Should have quit way sooner.
Lady Chelsea (LadyChelseaoftheVoid) 5 months ago
its not that they can't, its that they won't, if our current warmongering egotist president is any indication
And so it seems that, when it comes to real love, money doesn’t have to make things complicated, as long as there’s plenty of mutual respect and empathy.
What do you think of the things in this list? Have you got any experience dating across the wealth gap? Upvote the ones you related to most and don’t be shy to leave a comment if the urge grabs you!
#16
They are so poor all they had was money.
Ravenkbh 5 months ago
"May the Lord smite me with that curse (money). And may I never recover!"
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 5 months ago
Atheist here. But liking that prayer! 😄
Load More Replies... #17
They simply can’t wrap their head around not having enough of everything at all times.
Andrew Keir 5 months ago
Well, I've never ridden an elephant,so I don't know what it feels like, either
#18
I learned how to play golf.
Her dad always wanted to chat with me about my future, plans, business opportunities, college choices.... Etc.
And he always wanted to discuss these over a round of golf at the country club.
I really hate golf.
Also, apparently $100k means nothing? Dude literally offered to buy me a new Mercedes, and have my old beater truck "disposed of".
g90814 5 months ago
I'd have countered with "How about a newer (but modest) truck and the rest in cash?"
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ILoveMySon 5 months ago (edited)
There are courses that are quite inexpensive depending on when you go and clubs can be purchased second hand. My son and I spent very little money and had great fun over the years.
Cindy Brick 5 months ago
Obviously you said, "No thanks." (Good for you, by the way, if you did.)
#19
You can have all the money and the world and still have bad tastes. He would offer me his card to go get stuff to make his 4,800 sq house feel like someone actually lived there. Otherwise it just had sparse ugly furniture and posters scattered around.
SpiderWoman13 5 months ago
SO he never cared about furniture or surroundings enough before you to hire a decorator...And your problem is--? I'd do such a great job that all of his buddies would want to hire me!
#20
They expect you to live like their lifestyle even though you can’t afford it.
Uffe Steenberg 5 months ago
Bad (American) taste.. nouveau riche, for sure..
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#21
That rich people are not evil. So many wealthy folks are incredibly giving, considerate and kind. I was raised in a household that preached those with money are selfish, self centered, and evil.
tracy black 5 months ago
my boyfriend has considerable more money than i meaning he has over a million in the bank i think i have 63 dollars lol but hes very giving kind and considerate and very generous
Vinnie 5 months ago (edited)
My middle-class father seemed to despise the rich. He was outraged that an 85-year-old lawyer was still working: "How much more money does he need??!!" I firmly told him "He's still working because he enjoys it." The lawyer was far more respectful of working people (including service providers) than my paranoid Scrooge of a father who was convinced everyone was out to rip him off.
#22
No matter how humble and rational one is, dating someone several tax brackets higher will test one's ego and self worth.
Tabitha 5 months ago
Still depends on how grounded, fair, and equitable the rich partner is. To some it doesn’t matter at all, and they will always be proud of their partner’s achievements, and defend them to the death if anyone dares to ridicule or insult them, including close family. To others, it’s a source of shame for some stupid reason, and that doesn’t bode well for the relationship.
Bartlet for world domination 5 months ago
Money doesn't impress me and if you derive any kind of ego or self worth from it, that's a big red flag.
#23
I grew up in what I can only describe as the identical median income household and had a decent job, so not poor, but I dated a woman who I met while she was in Law School who's family was very rich. The subconscious expectations were overwhelming. I would plan a little surprise and she would expect something like a trip to Europe... She wasn't trying to make me feel bad, her expectations were just so high from the world she grew up in.
EDIT - Just to be clear and fair it wasn't directly a money thing. If I planned a super romantic grand gesture she would like it even if it cost very little money. It's just the disconnect. She grew up in a family with an amazing mom who had all the time and money in the world to plan super nice gestures for her kids and a partner with a full time job just couldn't compete with the subconscious expectations that that created. And I definitely could have done better with a lot of it. The disconnect between us on this issue, with almost none of it having to do with money was the problem.
#24
My college girlfriend of five years dropped me like a hot potato when her IBM vice president father passed away and left her a huge amount of company stock and in addition valuable real estate. My girlfriend found out that she was an heiress when somebody in the middle the night dropped off the will of her late mother that left most of the family assets to her.
My girlfriend had nothing to do with her family because her father was an absolute bully, but the minute she got her hands on significant dough suddenly I was not good enough for her. The class separation, in particular when the woman is from a well-off family is an absolute brutal fact. 40 years later this experience still hurts.
SpiderWoman13 5 months ago
He's not so much of an improvement either. 40 years later? STILL BITTER?
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#25
They’ll still burn through your money first.
#26
I wouldn't say I was poor by the time. Did, but I grew up very poor.
They were rich enough that they just didn't even really think about paying student loans.
2 key things I learnt were:
1. They thought simply having money meant you were good with it
2. They had no concept of risk, sunk costs, or whether something was sensible as a stance (on anything, really). It was very clear it was all just about what they would like to do/have happen/believe is right in a perfect world. Not what is the better option in our circumstances, how real world restraints actually impacted it.
And to be clear, I don't just mean financially.
#27
A lot of people want to pretend to be their friend and take advantage of them! Like, A LOT! They assumed I was doing the same and would talk openly about it to me… it was honestly disgusting!
#28
My ex-girlfriend's family was a stratosphere higher than my upbringing financially.
1. Constantly compared to members of their family and never can "match up" to their expectations
2. Huge difference in norms and what is acceptable or how things are handled ex. A summer bbq is a polo and slacks/fancy dress shorts event, not t-shirt and shorts
3. They keep personal events within the house to a creepy extent. "We don't talk about the family outside the house" I was specifically told. Whereas growing up poor, everyone knows your business.
Lyoness 5 months ago
I'd saying the privacy issue is wealth based in both directions. Lots of poor families are equally private, usually due to lack of funds (at least in my experience).
SpiderWoman13 5 months ago (edited)
Think of the "Poor Little Rich Girl" molested by her very wealthy father. Where would she go? Who would she complain to? Who would be her ally against her powerful parent? She would have to be very clever to escape his attentions and hold on to her inheritance... It's a conundrum I often ponder about.
Load More Replies... #29
Class consciousness.
bElLa sTairZz 5 months ago
the class in class consciousness is economic class. its kind of just money
Load More Replies... #30
Being rich doesn’t mean someone’s happy.
SpiderWoman13 5 months ago
Seconded: This absolutely needs to be put to the test.
Load More Replies... James Ward 5 months ago
It what the rich people want you to believe so you won't raise their taxes
#31
They will initially enjoy being themselves with you, as in themselves before they were rich. They will dote on you and buy you stuff (for whatever you are bringing to the relationship be it companionship or whatever).
And then, if it’s still going good, they will subtly try to change you, as they try to integrate you into their crowd, your clothing, your view on things (if they differ widely) and it will be up to you whether or not to do so.
Lyoness 5 months ago
This sounds like one person's experience with a manipulator rather than a pattern you'd see in wealthy people.
SpiderWoman13 5 months ago (edited)
True... Some people should realize not everything applies to everyone.
Load More Replies... What do you think ?
Lyoness 5 months ago
Sure there are some common behaviours you see in rich people but I think it also really depends on how and when they got their money. Did they earn it? Was it an inheritance? Did they grow up rich, or were they poor or middle class to begin with? In my experience people born into wealth are a lot less likely to understand what it's like to do without, particularly young people. The number of times I was told growing up "Just ask your parents!" ... it drove me nuts. Like no dude, I can't just come on spring break to whatever tropical destination you chose this year, I have to work. Thankfully some of the rich friends I had growing up actually grew up and now have a better understanding of money. The ones who never got it are no longer friends.
SpiderWoman13 5 months ago
At the end of the day, character is everything.
Load More Replies... Lyoness 5 months ago
Sure there are some common behaviours you see in rich people but I think it also really depends on how and when they got their money. Did they earn it? Was it an inheritance? Did they grow up rich, or were they poor or middle class to begin with? In my experience people born into wealth are a lot less likely to understand what it's like to do without, particularly young people. The number of times I was told growing up "Just ask your parents!" ... it drove me nuts. Like no dude, I can't just come on spring break to whatever tropical destination you chose this year, I have to work. Thankfully some of the rich friends I had growing up actually grew up and now have a better understanding of money. The ones who never got it are no longer friends.
SpiderWoman13 5 months ago
At the end of the day, character is everything.
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