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28 Secrets About People That Surfaced After Their Death And May Have Changed The Way Their Loved Ones Looked At Them
People don't like to think about death. It's something far away in the distance, we tell ourselves, something that happens to others who are a lifetime away from where we are.
It's only when death comes close to us — when someone close to us gets sick, or even worse, passes away — that everything changes. We suddenly realize how fragile life is, and how finite time is.
But sometimes, we discover a bit more. Whether it's a deathbed confession or people just piecing information together, we learn something new about the one who has passed away, too. Truth has a tendency to come out.
Redditor u/inthe801 recently posted a question for other platform users: "What is something shocking you found out about a friend or family member after they died?" And yeah, they responded.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My grandfather was very wealthy and I found out after he passed that he anonymously paid for hundreds of funerals for children in minority, low-income parts of our town.
Kay blue 4 years ago
Grandad was a superstar. The fact that he did it in complete secrecy shows real charity.
Boudica 4 years ago
A truly beautiful soul - bless him, and the poor children x
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Louloubelle 4 years ago
This is truly what kindness looks like. When you do something anonymously. I hope you inherited that from him.
RoseTheMad 4 years ago
Your grandfather is a hero. I've always been of the belief that funerals are overpriced, and take advantage of the fact people are obviously grieving and want the best possible sendoff for those they lost. I can't imagine feeling that way when losing your child. We shouldn't have to be forced to pay so much for something that should be a basic human right. A respectable sendoff and celebration of the lost ones life.
Bored Panda got in touch with u/inthe801 to talk about the Redditor's now-viral post (which, at this point, has nearly 20,000 upvotes) and they agreed to have a little chat about it.
"The idea for it popped into my head when some of my family secrets surfaced as a result of using those DNA genealogy websites," u/inthe801 told us. "A relative found out that the man she thought was her dad wasn't actually her biological father. Also, I knew someone who had cancer and asked his pastor to [forgive his internet browsing history] while laying in his deathbed."
RELATED:
#2
My grandad was a farmer his whole life. Every animal loved him. We'd go to a new place and dogs would be coming straight to him, horses would cuddle with him. He just had a charm with them. When cleaning out his closet and digging in his pockets to make sure nothing of value was thrown in the wash, we found grains, bits of dried meats, dog treats, bits of old carrot (for the horses). Man's been bribing animals with food all this his life.
Patti Vance 4 years ago
this is a description of my dad without the food bribes. has been this way all my life around him. he was raised on a farm but as an adult he was a career military person. at 79 he still has animals coming up to him and his house which is next door to mine. it's like watching dr. doolittle. hummingbirds hang around his head and shoulders, sometime lighting on him. not to mention the squirrels, chipmunks, bunnies and other things living in the forest right behind us. that last two seasons he had a pregnant doe come into the back yard to nibble on things and sleep. after she had given birth she still showed up for goodies but we never saw her fawn which was not unexpected as they keep them hidden
After going through the replies their post has received, u/inthe801 said it seems like most people have secrets about their sex life and the abuse they've endured.
"Judging from my personal experience, I think most people do not live with major secrets, but I do find it interesting to hear stories about those who do," the Redditor added. "Plus, there seems to be someone like that in pretty much every family."
#3
My dad gave up a 100% fellowship for a math PhD in order to work to provide for an unanticipated pregnancy (me). He really wanted to teach and he was a natural. In the 60 years I knew him, he never mentioned the PhD or fellowship opportunity. Not once. I found out going through his papers after his death.
Lynn H 4 years ago
...and deadbeat mom's.. I know too many of them, unfortunately. It's not just dads anymore.
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Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
Indeed. How horrible to have to make a choice like that.
Load More Replies... Louloubelle 4 years ago
I had an aunt that was an amazing artist. She had received a scholarship to an art school, but this being the 40's, opted to get married and produce 6 kids. Don't get me wrong, I don't think she would have changed that part, because she was an amazing mother, and when her sister, my mother died, when I was 28, she stepped in and did all the motherly things you need when you're a young woman. Helped my plan my wedding, made my wedding dress, and then when I had twins - helped me through those first rough months. And still found time to paint. I have one of her paintings and it's the most important item I own.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
You're very fortunate. Too many parents foolishly resent their children for "destroying" their dreams.
However, the next time someone asks you "Can I tell you a secret?", you may want to think twice before agreeing to hear it. According to social psychologist Michael Slepian, PhD, an associate professor of leadership and ethics at Columbia Business School who studies the psychology of secrets, being confided in is a double-edged sword.
"The bad news is that when people share their secrets with us, we feel like we have to guard them. The more people are preoccupied by that secret, or feel they have to hide it on behalf of the confidant, the more burdensome it is," he said.
#4
I met all 4 of my mom's boyfriends at her funeral. It was a surprise to them and myself.
Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
By lying to all the boyfriends. That's immoral.
Load More Replies... Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
It was sad that she decided to lie to the boyfriends just so she could cheat.
Load More Replies... Nazda Pokmov 4 years ago
Mom sure got around, didn't she? Imagine juggling 4 men at once....quite a feat....
Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
I'm curious if people would find this funny if a man had four girlfriends at once without telling any of them.
Load More Replies... Steph 4 years ago
Obviously your Mom had boyfriends, who cared about her enough even after the breakup and went to her funeral, even though they must surely have counted on getting into an awkward situation. May she be blessed! Sorry, it put you in a odd situation... see it as it is: your Mom was a loved person!
Steph 4 years ago
Oh - jeeeeezzzz! Obviously I DID miss the point, silly me! I guess I was thinking in a totally "innocent" way. Thanks for putting me clear on it - in that case - I suppose I keep my opinion of the lady to myself. I am still sorry for the awkward situation, which was caused by her dishonesty.
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Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
It's sleazy of her to lie to the boyfriends and cheat on them.
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But on the bright side, those shared confidences can be a boon to bonding. "When people confide in us, we take it as an act of intimacy that can bring us closer," Slepian added.
Secrets are universal. Almost everyone has something to hide (though, of course, not all secrets are of the deep and dark type). But until recently, psychological scientists hadn't spent much time exploring how keeping stuff from others affects us personally. Slepian himself got his start studying secrets indirectly—he had been researching metaphors; looking at the ways people use language about physical experiences to describe abstract concepts. Eventually, he became intrigued by the metaphor of being "weighed down" by a secret. "I wondered if it was just a linguistic thing that people do, or if it reflected something deeper," he said.
#5
After he died, found out dad served in Vietnam as a combat medic. Kinda explains a) why he never said anything about it b) was so resistant to me enlisting at 17 and c) had really good first aid skills. He was also married twice before meeting my mom and published a heap of fiction and non fiction books.
Caro Caro 4 years ago
I can understand he didn't want you to enlist after all he's been through.
just another teen 4 years ago
he didnt want to worry about the poor child and things seen in war are scary and maybe thought the child was to young
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Amaranthim Talon 4 years ago
OK- I get some folks are private and all, but that is more like an entire secret existence - like going under witness protection or something!
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Very rarely do veterans discuss their experiences. Of course, if the US had any humanity and treated them for the PTSD they suffered with, perhaps more would be forthcoming.
Jan Moore 4 years ago
My Dad spent over 35 years in the Army. Served in WWII, Korea, and Vietnam (2 tours). He would tell us about WWII and Korea but hardly anything about Vietnam-except running into a cobra returning from the latrine and the tent full of lower grade officers shooting their whole clips in their tent at another cobra and not having anything to show for it, except they all had weapons practice the next day.
"For decades, secrecy research focused on the effects of concealment. But I couldn't find any studies that systematically looked at what secrets people keep, how they keep them or how they experience secrets on a day-to-day basis," the social psychologist said. "So, we started at the beginning, with the most basic questions we could ask."
Slepian and his colleagues identified 38 common categories of secrets that people keep about themselves, ranging from infidelity and illegal behavior to pregnancy and planned surprises for others. And those categories held up across study populations, which included participants drawn from Amazon’s Mechanical Turk and random picnickers recruited from New York City’s Central Park.
#6
Great grandma lived in a boarding house while great grandpa was a traveling salesman. There was a nicely dressed man who would come through on business like clockwork. He thought 4 year old grandma was adorable and would watch her for great grandma if she needed to run to the store. He suddenly stopped coming around and a few weeks later great grandma saw his picture in the paper. Turns out, she had been letting Pretty Boy Floyd babysit her kid.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
Criminals are not always totally bad people. They do bad things and maybe don't care, but it doesn't mean they don't love animals/children.
Aria Whitaker 4 years ago (edited)
Very true Jo. I know here in American prisons, if you go in for a crime against a child, they have to send you to a protective unit due to the other inmates severe hostility toward criminals that harm children. They may have broken the law in other ways, some brutal, but many do NOT play when it comes to kids!
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Memere 4 years ago
My grandfather was raised on a farm in northeastern Kansas, not too far from St. Joseph, Missouri. It was the 'stomping grounds' of Jesse & Frank James - notorious bank robbers back in the day. As a teenager, Grandpa had a job working at a stagecoach inn, helping with the horses. One night, the inn was full & a man rode in needing a bed for the nite. The only available place for him was in the attic, sharing a bed with my grandfather. The man was up & gone at sunrise, and a few hours later a sheriff's posse came thru looking for the guy. Turned out that they were on the trail of Frank James. I love telling people that my grandpa had a sleepover with Frank James!
tuzdayschild 4 years ago
One of the infamous depression era criminals. Bonnie and Clyde, Al Capone, John Dillinger, Pretty Boy Floyd.
Theresa SilentCrow 3 years ago
Are you my cousin or was he a serial babysitter? My grandma & her sister have a similar story about him. They were 6 & 7years old in the Ky/Ohio border area
"We all keep the same kinds of secrets," Slepian said. "About 97% of people have a secret in at least one of those categories, and the average person is currently keeping secrets in 13 of those categories."
It's hard for people to get those secrets off their minds. The same research showed that people's minds wander to their secrets far more often than they actively try to conceal their secrets from others. And although the frequency of concealment didn’t seem to have much effect on well-being, the more people’s minds wandered to their secrets, the worse off they were. "It's not how much you hide a secret that’s harmful, but how often you find yourself thinking about it," Slepian said.
Which makes deathbed confessions perfectly understandable. We get rid of our biggest burdens to leave this world in peace.
#7
We found a sex swing in my little Catholic grandma’s attic.
NsG 4 years ago (edited)
That might have been where it was used - directly attached to the rafters makes it secure. Or so I've heard...
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Mad Dragon 4 years ago (edited)
I have a friend who has a key for the specific purpose of going into my house should something happen to both me and my husband. She is then to remove the large black rubbermaid container from the back of our closet and dispose of it unopened. There are some things our children do not need to know about.
Theresa SilentCrow 3 years ago
I had to do a quick check through my friends house when he passed. His Indiana family did not need to see their uncle's extensive collection of gay porn. Luckily, he knew he was dying and bequeathed most it in person to his friends.
Load More Replies... Louloubelle 4 years ago
I don't think just because someone is old, they are necessarily naive. Good on you grandma!
Oskar vanZandt 4 years ago
Not a surprising find, really. As we get older, we can all use a little help... ;)
Vicky Z 4 years ago
Help? Never used one but I'm thinking it must be more difficult on a swing than on a bed
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therarestbanana 4 years ago
Exactly what it sounds like. You kind of hang in it and well, do the dirty.
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Jill Hojnacki 4 years ago
It was the Puritans who repressed sexual enjoyment, not Catholics. Remember all of the stories of the licentious behavior in the French court in Versailles? They were all Catholic. Cromwell’s the one who ruined all the fun - and they executed him after 5 years. Granny was just embracing her history.
#8
My great-grandfather had not, in fact, been eaten by a bear on Mt. Rainier (he was a park ranger). Instead, he’d been cheating on my great-grandmother and was summarily run out of town by her brothers. He moved to Alaska and nobody knew what had become of him until we located his grave, many decades later.
Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
I don't think people would be as supportive if a cheating wife was violently thrown out of town.
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Lyn Moffett 4 years ago
Got what he deserved!!! If you don't want to be with someone ffs just leave. It's even worse when the mistress or lover knows the wife/husband exists. Never mess around with anyone who is in a relationship. Plus IF you do get together how can you trust them not to do the same to you
Louloubelle 4 years ago
My grandmother's brothers literally dragged my grandfather back at the point of a shotgun because my grandmother was pregnant. This was 1924. They remained married until he died in 1987, but he had a mistress for 40 years.
Karen Lyon 4 years ago
Good for her brothers! My sister and I are blessed with brothers like that -- mess with us, you answer to them.
#9
It's not an unpleasant thing by any means, but it was definitely a surprise.
My grandfather passed away at the start of 2020, and he was a beloved man by his family and community. I think it was my aunt who told the story at the funeral, but it was about when he was stationed in Japan serving in the United States Air Force.
One night he found an airman trying to assault a young Japanese woman who did their laundry. My grandfather was raised in a home with an abusive father figure and did not tolerate any form of cruelty to women or children. He beat the man within an inch of his life, and was sent to a different camp for six weeks.
A similar story I already knew growing up was how he did a similar thing to a man who was beating his children in a Wal-Mart parking lot. Our family jokingly called it "Walt-Mart" from then on. (his first name was Walter)
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
We need more people like him, instead of people who whip out their cellphones, then stand around doing nothing but taking a video of a crime.
maswartz 4 years ago
Sometimes that's all they can do without putting themselves in danger as well.
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Beatrice Multhaupt 4 years ago
My extremely subservient Catholic grandmother believed that women have to obey all men at all times...except in cases of physical violence. ''If they try to hit you, let them have it'', she said. One day when I was about 20, waiting for the late bus, two guys tried to drag me into an alley. Her words rang in my ears, and figuring I had nothing left to lose, I told them what I thought of their behaviour. They flat outright dropped me and ran! I still have trouble believing it but thanks, Grandma.
Terri Owens 4 years ago
Oh my goodness, I'm so glad you thought of your Grandma's words in that moment!
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Luke Oakridge 4 years ago
I hope he would have also stepped up if a woman was attacking a man.
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Riley Quinn 4 years ago
I would never attack the adult who would most likely take their humiliation out on the kids later, but I do take down info or video for the the authorities.
Marnie 4 years ago
Not heroic like this, but I had an uncle once. Great big guy, no neck, gigantic fingers with a booming voice. Wore wranger jeans, plaid shirts, huge belt buckle, and suspenders every single day that I saw him. I literally terrified small children because he was so big and every time he spoke, he yelled. (Grew up on a windy farm and worked construction outdoors. He did not have an indoor voice.) He was gruff. Well, he went fishing one day and was near a father with a son. He listened the father criticize and put down the kid for a couple of hours. My uncle finally walked over to them and said to the dad. I really feel bad for your son. Dad says, "Why?" My uncle says, "Because he has you for a dad." Then he said something nice to the kid and left. Hopefully it made a difference. I was never afraid of him after that.
#10
My dad passed away in an accident four years ago, and it totally broke my mom and siblings. He and I never really got along, so I was sad but didn't take it nearly as hard as my family. A year after he passed, my mom gave me his old desktop when my computer died. I found out that he'd been cheating on my mom for years when I stumbled onto the folder where he saved every chat log, picture, video, etc. Most of them were only online, but he met up with one woman while he was out of town 'for work.' I've never told my family and don't think I ever will.
Otter 4 years ago
I agree. It would make them unhappy, with no possibility of changing or taking charge of the situation.
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Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
Funny how some people’s intuition is correct, even if they’re not aware of it. There was a good reason you didn’t get along with your Dad, that you didn’t even realize.
Louloubelle 4 years ago
I think some people are just more intuitive than others. Just pick up on body language, etc.
Load More Replies... Lyn Moffett 4 years ago
No point breaking your mother's heart it's a sin that you have been burdened with this secret ,, bless you,,, he must have thought he was sooo fkn clever. Swine.
Calypso poet 4 years ago
I think he should tell the truth now. Mom may find out later on her own or she already had an idea but wouldn't tell her kids. At least knowing she has her son to comfort her might help.
Caro Caro 4 years ago
I don't think you deserved the downvote. Here's an uppy!
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 4 years ago
There's no point, especially since this would be devastating to your family without any real recourse.
#11
My grandmother dated Mr. Rogers in high school.
Whawhawhatsis 4 years ago
He was a wonderful man. My daughter grew up watching his show, and even when she was in high school, if she needed to calm down and have some quiet time, she'd watch his show. I miss him today, he was a complete opposite to all the hectic, frantic, loud, nutso TV shows on today!
thegolfball 4 years ago
One of Mr. Rogers classmates at Greater Latrobe High School was a guy named Arnold Palmer...wonder if she dated him too?
#12
My great grandpa on my dad's side lived to be 101.
He was the pinnacle of health for his entire life. Ate a very good diet with basically zero sugar, got regular exercise, and had all his mental functions and senses even in his old age. The man was still walking everywhere and taking busses on his own until literally the day he died.
He passed due to medical complications after a broken hip from a fall when he tripped on some steps. After he was gone, my family went to clear out the house and get everything in order. My dad opened a drawer to find a hidden stash full of chocolate bars and wrappers. The dude was so proud of his health that he felt the need to hide a sweet treat from his own family.
Scagsy 4 years ago (edited)
Maybe... and hear me out... he was hiding them so nobody stole them. That's what I have to do with my choccy stash. Sweets have a tendency to disappear in my house.
Leeds Lass 4 years ago
Chocolate was always hidden in the salad drawer of the fridge in my house :)
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Nazda Pokmov 4 years ago
Now we all know his secret to longevity.....CHOCOLATE!!!! Gotta go buy some for daily consumption.
lara 4 years ago
My dad, who was a physician, was not so "impressed" with "all natural" diets. He pointed out that cavemen ate all natural diets and seldom lived beyond 30. He was a really profoundly funny man.
Devil's Advocate 4 years ago
Age of death is WAY more about genes than lifestyle (providing it's of natural causes!), but modern society is obsessive!
Robert Bailey 4 years ago (edited)
"Yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr. Natural Just as healthy as I can be But at night I'm a junk food junkie Good lord have pity on me." Larry Groce
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Don't jump to conclusions. When I lived with others, I always hid my sweets.
#13
My grandpa had a secret family that he kept up with our whole lives and never said a word about. There were graduation pictures, Christmas cards, the whole deal. Completely blew our minds
lara 4 years ago
Almost 40 years after my mom died, my brother, whom I knew nothing about, found me. It was one of the greatest most wonderful events in my life.
Gabby M 4 years ago (edited)
My maternal grand mother was the parallel woman with 4 children by Grandpa Joe.When Joe passed away she packed up her 4 kids and my mother (different father 1st legal marriage lol) and went to his funeral in NYC In the 70s!! The Italian section of ....well you see where that is going. But yes my mom told me hilarity I mean hysterics ensued. Damn I do come from interesting stock.
Auntriarch 4 years ago
I worked with a woman who found out her husband had a parallel family in another country where he worked. He'd put the house in her name for some reason, so she sold it and went to live in Spain.
Ileana Sky Aviles 4 years ago
My grandpa also had a secret family and we found out about it decades later when his two children came forward to meet us all. Similarly, my uncle was a polygamist and we found out about his 4 other wives at his funeral and it was when they also found out about each other.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
How does a person reconcile that in their heads? I couldn't handle the stress of living a secret life.
#14
I took care of my dad before he passed, and also handled his finances afterwards (I am the youngest of four). Come to find out my parents were divorced well before I would have been conceived. That plus the fact that I have blonde hair and blue eyes and all my siblings have dark hair and brown eyes, pretty much got the ball rolling and I started to ask questions of my mother and other family members. Mom initially denied it, but after I came back with Ancestry results showing another man was my biological father, she came clean.
Gregg Bender 4 years ago (edited)
Kids have a right to know, just for health reasons alone.
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Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
Not if you have no reason to be suspicious. Blond/blue eyes in dark haired/eyed families happen sometimes. Genetics are weird like that.
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Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Ah, there's nothing like a death in the family to reveal all of its secrets.
#15
My great aunt and uncle never had kids so they treated me and my siblings like their grandkids. My aunt died ten years ago this year. So I was looking up her grave site so I can visit and saw a suggested link to a page about the grave of her child. I was very confused because I always just assumed they didn't want kids. Turns out they had a son who only lived to be a few months old. Made me sad to think that they did want kids and either couldn't or wouldn't after their son died.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Too bad many people didn’t—-and still don’t, for some reason—- consider fostering or adopting if they can’t conceive or lose a biological child. There are too many great kids out there who just need a loving home. I plan on fostering as soon as I can afford a larger home to accommodate a child.
Dave P 4 years ago
There can be a whole host of emotional reasons or other reasons why they can't never assume. On the other hand my Rabbi and his wife, all 6 of their children were adopted (all from the Foster system, and were at least 3 when adopted) because they couldnt have their own.
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Polarlink3frc 4 years ago
My aunt and uncle also had a son that only survived a few months. My parents knew, but we kids didn't until after they passed.
#16
My wife’s uncle was a field agent for the CIA.
They would fly he and his wife to Italy where they would swap out their ID’s. Issue them their cover ID’s and then fly them out to pose as Italian Tourists.
Pink Floydian Panda 4 years ago
Yeah, I wondered about that too. Seems weird he only said wife's uncle was CIA agent in title then both aunt and uncle were in body of post, but maybe it was a typo.
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Adrian 4 years ago
We found out that we had been living half a block away from Whitey Bulger, for years, when the neighborhood was shut down and there were cops everywhere and helicopters, and lots of black SUVs...
thatweirdbigirl 4 years ago
who's whitey bulger? am I missing something here? idk I'm gen z lol
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 4 years ago
My father's military buddy, who became a CIA agent, would periodically stay at our house when he was in the country. He was reticent about his escapades.
Eric Johansen 4 years ago
Actually that's a pretty cool story and just imagine they might have done something to change history.
#17
My great-aunt and great-uncle were siblings who had an incest relationship for most of their lives. They shared a house for the last decades of their lives which I always thought was very sweet, siblings caring for each other as they got older. Some of my best childhood memories are of visiting them and playing in their big yard with their dogs when I was a little kid. Years ago, I was talking with my father about how much I missed them when he just offhandedly told me that the two were in an incest relationship since they were kids. My mother confirmed, laughing at me like I was dumb for not knowing when it was obvious, which it apparently was since everyone in the family knew except me.
I posted about them before on my old account. Some recent family issues brought them back to mind again. All my good memories feel questionable now and I keep thinking of small details about them that make sense in a very different way. Honestly, I just wish I had never been told and could keep my memories of them as they were.
Firkin Dirkin 4 years ago
How would they want to be remembered? As having given you lovely memories. You were their normal world, where they weren't judged for their love being "wrong". Sad that your family took the purity of that away. Take back your memories - they deserve to be remembered as they existed for you..
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
Lots of gray areas here, which makes it puzzling to me that the family could have that attitude, yet this person still visited them as a child. People who are prejudiced against anyone, including family, generally don’t let their young children even know shunned relatives exist, much less spend time at their home. Maybe the parents weren’t rolling their eyes at the revelation of incest because they were prejudiced, but because it was just accepted in the family, but not openly discussed.
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Kari Panda 4 years ago
It irks me that OP‘s mother laughed at them. How is a little child supposed to notice something like that?
Draga Millani 4 years ago
if there was an age gap, it truly is statutory rape (the OP said the incest was "since they were kids" freaking gross) and putting any biological child of there's at risk for, well, everything imaginable really.
Load More Replies... Rider 4 years ago
This is lovely. They were happy, and their family accepted them. If it makes you happy and doesn't harm anyone, then do what makes you happy. By harm I don't mean it makes you emotionally uncomfortable or find it offensive, but affects quality of life.
Draga Millani 4 years ago
"they were happy" I find that hard to believe. Especially if there was an age gap, it truly is statutory rape (the OP said the incest was "since they were kids" freaking gross) and putting any biological child of there's at risk for, well, everything imaginable really.
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snipergun 4 years ago
Just keep your memories the way they were. No reason to change it anyway. Besides, I get why it's incest wrong but it's not like one of them was forced into the relationship and they never had children (I'm guessing from the text) so... If they were happy let it be. No, I can't understand how someone can be attracted to a sibling, but I don't have to understand that.
Draga Millani 4 years ago
if there was an age gap, it truly is statutory rape (the OP said the incest was "since they were kids" freaking gross) and putting any biological child of there's at risk for, well, everything imaginable really.
Load More Replies... Jill Hojnacki 4 years ago
They hurt no one. Their love for each other provided you with loving memories of being cared for by kind people in a house filled with love,laughter, and dogs.Embrace it, and be glad. They were happy. They made you happy. That’s enough, Their secrets were - and are - none of anyone’s business &, frankly, all you have to say that an incestuous relationship existed are the suppositions of others. Maybe yes; maybe no. What matters is how they lived & the way they treated you and others. Let it go and embrace your memories.
Draga Millani 4 years ago
if there was an age gap, it truly is statutory rape (the OP said the incest was "since they were kids" freaking gross) and putting any biological child of there's at risk for, well, everything imaginable really.
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#18
My grandpa lied on his immigration papers when he came over from Canada.
He was literally an illegal immigrant that was almost deported but got to stay because it was ww2 and they said they’d give him citizenship if he joined the military.
He spent his late dementia years talking about how “illegals were ruining America” Ironic.
Dave P 4 years ago
Even today, illegal immigrants can apply for the Military and if they get in, they get papers and a pathway to citizenship. It requires the Secretary of Defense to give a waiver. At the height of the Iraq war and recruitment was down, the Bush admin considered giving blanket waivers to get new recruits. They didnt at the end.
Memere 4 years ago
And we've been deporting immigrants who risked their lives & served honorably in our military, when they should automatically be given U.S. citizenship for their service.
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Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
My grandfather and great uncle stowed away then bluffed their way through Ellis Island in 1909. No one ever came after them for it. My great uncle bought land and farmed. My grandfather worked as a handyman, then a carpenter, saved his money, and bought rental properties. Both ended up comfortably well off enough to bring other relatives over and set them up with homes and jobs. If your grandpa was a productive citizen, I don’t see where it would’ve been too much of a stretch for them to offer him legal citizenship in exchange for military service, rather than just deport him.
GirlFriday 4 years ago
My grandfather came to the US from Ireland when he was in his early teens, and he married my grandmother in his late teens - she also came to the US as a child. When my grandfather was 20, he was offered citizenship for both him and grandma if he served in WWII. He signed up and upon his return from Germany, both he and my grandmother were granted citizenship.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
There are quite a few of us still around, especially along the Northern border, who have illegal immigrant family members from Canada.
#19
My grandpa was always a very solid, Dutch, quiet, hard-working, Christian, gentle, honorable, honest, family-oriented guy.
Years after he died, I found some of his journals and had them translated into English.
NO. HE. WAS. NOT.
lazy panda 4 years ago
I just looked at the thread and OP never updated! I really want to know what he did
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Rob Janssen 4 years ago
Typical Dutch behaviour...preaching one thing and acting another. Btw i am Dutch.
M Calad 4 years ago
This post reminded me that the norwegian mother-in-law of a friend of mine died. That lady used to constantly write in journals. My friend believed her MIL spent her life writing beautiful "poems" but was too ashamed to show her work. She wanted to print a book with the most beautiful ones, so she offered me the job to transcript them digitally. First I went through the books and I noticed something odd about these poems. Some of them mentioned exotic places. I asked my friend if her MIL had travelled a lot. No, she didn't. Then I googled phrases from the books and turns out those were old famous songs. The journals were 95% song books, 5% just her writing about her days. A couple of her personal experiences were touching, but no poems whatsoever. My friend was utterly disappointed. She truly believed her MIL was a secret poetess.
Oskar vanZandt 4 years ago
I can imagine... there are people who are excellent social chameleons. And the reality is a complete opposite.
Pixie 4 years ago
I think so too. Grandpa from the Netherlands with big NO-secret; the setting and timing is just right for this.
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#20
Most shocking thing I found out was that he existed.
Researching my family tree (got back to 1550) found I had a direct uncle with Downs Syndrome. Poor f*cker was just shoved in a home and forgotten about 'till he died.
Jerry Mathers 4 years ago
If the Texas abortion ban is allowed to continue, things like this will occur more often. The anti-choice side never addresses things like this. Forcing people to have children they don't want creates misery for the child, the people that have the child, the community the child grows up in, and brings an increase in crime when these unloved, neglected children hit an age when they can strike back at the society that took a crap on them.
Lizzie Smith 4 years ago
Going back some people didn't even get a choice. They were told their child had died and the child was placed in an institution to live out their life.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
That's so sad. People with Downs are so kind and sweet, at least in my experience.
Mini Muppet 4 years ago
Stop glorifying downs. You only see the kind and sweet ones. Disabilities are not "cute".
Load More Replies... lazy panda 4 years ago
We just found out that a cousin who was "placed in a nursing home and passed away" back I like the 40s was actually placed in an asylum and murdered by another patient. That was a fun one.
KatHat 4 years ago
"poor f****r" is a phrase some people use and it's not a pejorative.
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Lily Mae Kitty 4 years ago
you don't mention the year. People with mental disabilities were treated like absolute crap until the 1970s when the institutions were all closed down. How quickly we forget.
EJN 4 years ago
The new online genealogy research leads to some very sad as well as interesting knowledge in addition to the ordinary stuff sometimes. I discovered a great aunt was actually a great uncle! You have to keep in mind the customs of the times surrounding all the events.
Denise Morley 4 years ago
I’m thinking what you meant was you found out your great aunt was transgender or assigned male at birth?
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InfectedVoice 4 years ago
Cruel as f**k, my close friend has a 8yr old son with downs, he's my godson and the sweetest most loving little dude there is, I love him so much and this just makes me angry.
#21
My Uncle Jack was a quiet mild mannered man, with a good sense of humor. He looked like a slightly shorter, slightly slimmer Burl Ives. He was a successful psychiatrist, highly respected in his field.
Turns out he was also an OSS Agent during WW2. He never told anyone anything about what he did in the war. His two sons, an attorney and an Army ranger both asked him about it and he wouldn't tell them a word.
Devil's Advocate 4 years ago
A lot of people in the war never spoke of the horrors, likely because they daren't stop and remember them
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
In this case its likely a confidentiality agreement
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Caroline Nagel 4 years ago
My grandfather was arrested by the Nazi's not long after they occupied Eindhoven/the Netherlands and was sent to camp Vught and afterwards to a camp in Germany. He never ever talked about what happened to him in these camps.
Miss Frankfurter 4 years ago
OSS were sworn to secrecy. They wouldn't break it even at his age. The real purpose of the disastrous raid on Dieppe was kept secret by an act of Parliament for 72 years. The officers who led the raid took the blame for the disaster to their graves rather than let the truth out.
Jackie Porter 4 years ago
My grandfather was part of the D-Day landings. The only thing he'd tell us was that he was plucked to safety by a Fleetwood (North West coast of England) trawler which was ironic as he was from Fleetwood and from a family of Trawlermen. He would never speak about anything else in that period of time.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
The "Deer Team", part of the OSS, were in Vietnam in 1945 training guerilla fighters. That's why I always say the Vietnam Conflict last for 30-years.
Celtic Pirate Queen 4 years ago
War Secrets Act. All agents were required to sign what was essentially a confidentiality agreement. The penalty for disclosing any information was a lengthy prison sentence and, depending on the importance of the information, could result in a firing squad.
#22
That the little book that my great-uncle kept in his front shirt pocket at all times was actually a collection of short stories on beastiality
tuzdayschild 4 years ago
Looking at the picture, I thought it would a story of how the book saved his life from a bullet.
Memere 4 years ago
I thought the same thing even though I know the pics BP uses aren't actual pics from the OP.
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Forrest McCanless 4 years ago
Woody Allen had a bit about his mother giving him a bullet as a child, that became his good-luck token always carried in his breast pocket. Years later, a bible, "hurled by a berserk evangelist out a third-floor window . . ."
#23
I found out my father killed a guy when he was like 19. It was an argument over a girl, they gave him a choice of jail or the army. He chose the army then switched to the Air Force, was in for 20 years.
Not Proud British 4 years ago
I wonder how the family of the killed teenager felt about that? One man gets a new lease of life whilst the other gets their life taken away before it's barely begun. The killer can put his past deed to one side and pretend it never happened, but I bet the parents of the dead boy thought about him and remembered him every day. This is no happy ending.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
Depends on the circumstances. Maybe the other person was the aggressor, and this person’s father was only defending himself, or maybe even the girl. We don’t have enough information to speculate. Besides, the judge made the determination that the kid was entitled to decide his own future, so it may well have been a case that leaned toward self-defense.
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Firkin Dirkin 4 years ago
I think the army want controlled killers, not accidental murderers and this doesn't "prove" he is a killer. There had to be an element of accident involved for him to be given options.
Nadja Lambacher 4 years ago
From the original post: I don’t know a lot of details about this. I think it may have been an accident, it was a rural area. My dads family was poor, his dad was a school janitor and his mom took in washing. I know nothing about the victim. I do know my dad never got so much as a traffic ticket the 41 years I knew about.
Bonnie Edwards 4 years ago
I've heard this tends to be an option when the person had constantly been in minor trouble (generally gang related), then manslaughter happens. It's a way to completely remove the person from a bad influences that is likely to escalate. Also, jail is just as likely to produce a hardened ex-prisoner, who will re-offend with progressively worse behaviours.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say your father is white, because no BIPOC would escape justice with a slap on the wrist.
Denise Morley 4 years ago
Jimmi Hendrix was given the option of enlisting instead of prison time, granted he was busted for joyriding not taking someone’s life.
Load More Replies... Celtic Pirate Queen 4 years ago
That was really common back in the 50s & 60s. My son's father was constantly in & out of juvenile detention for burglary and drugs, so they shipped him off to Vietnam when he was 17. He promptly got hooked on what they called "Black Beauties", a combination of heroin & cocaine (or any other amphetamine) and basically went insane. He beat the crap out of his staff sergeant and was section 8'd out. Didn't have a clue until the first time he got angry and beat the crap out of ME.
Bobbie Burgund 4 years ago
THIS ACT FROM JUDGES WAS EXTENDED DURING THE VIET NAM WAR DAILY. MORE TIMES THEN NOT THE ACCUSED WAS GIVEN THE OPTION OF THE MARINE CORP OR x AMOUNT OF YEARS IN JAIL. USUALLY THEY TOOK THE MARINES. I KNEW A FEW OF THESE INDIVIDUALS WHO WERE STATIONED IN OKINAWA ON RETURNING HOME FROM VIET NAM. SOME STAYED IN, OTHERS DIDNT.
#24
After my Grandma died we found a letter from an unnamed woman to my grandfather. It was a letter claiming that my grandfather was the father of her child. That if he wasn’t going to leave my grandmother for her she would abandon the baby with them and would have no part in raising it. With the death of my grandma no one else alive in my family had any idea what this letter really meant. Basically anyone who could give any clarification was already dead. Did my dad have another sibling? Was my uncle secretly not my grandma’s biological child? Was she lying and there was no child? We will never know.
Henry Cheves 4 years ago
If they only had 2 brothers to test with, then proving that they're unrelated would only prove that the letter wasn't a lie.
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Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Where there's a will, there's a way. If you and your family are really interested, the answers are there, conveniently located online.
#25
My spinster aunt had an affair with a married man years ago. Not particularly shocking by today's standards but I had always regarded her as this sweet-natured and celibate old maiden aunt. Turns out she had quite the colorful past which my family informed me of (after her death) when I was old enough to understand.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
Auntie was a free spirit who lived life on her own terms. If I were you, and if she was still around, I’d be getting to know her better.
Suz66 4 years ago
I remember my grandma as a sweet devout Catholic who shared my love of crafts. After my grandpa died, she had a meltdown and would only talk to me, nobody else in the family. I went to her house for lunch between my college classes. During this time, she told me about a boyfriend she had in her late teens that rode a motorcycle and would take her on rides. He knocked up her best friend and went to jail and she visited him. My grandpa pursued her pretty persistently. She saved his love letters, they were so sweet.
Oskar vanZandt 4 years ago
And why shouldn't she? Nothing wrong there and your family was right to keep this information from you until you were old enough to process it.
LittleMissLotus 4 years ago
......there's nothing wrong with having an affair with someone who's married? There's nothing wrong with having a lot of sex and romantic liaisons, but it's not ok if someone is married, assuming she definitely knew he was married.
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Lisa Whipp Myhre 4 years ago
I always think this whenever I see elderly people. What kind of life they lived, what secrets they have...like that Elvis Costello song, "Veronica." Maybe they're boring, maybe they're the first person that welded under water, maybe that Avon lady is transporting illegal medication...you just don't know.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Guess what? Older generations perpetuated this pristine image of themselves when in actuality, many of them were quite risqué. Honestly, do young people think they invented wild sex and excitement??
Maris Kurm 4 years ago
So basically if you don`t wanna get married you aren`t supposed to have sex? Sad.
#26
That my grandfather changed his last name to hide from something (I think the law). My last name is something he thought was funny at the time. Nobody knows for sure what the original name is, or why he went on the run.
Memere 4 years ago (edited)
My paternal great-grandfather left Latvia as a young man to avoid military service, so we're pretty sure he changed his name, possibly even before he arrived in the U.S. He also refused to tell anyone where he was born other than Latvia, and didn't leave any documentation. One day I'd like to try & trace that side of the family!
Jo Choto 4 years ago
I dated a guy for some time who eventually confessed to me that his name was not his name. It was a distant uncle's identity. He had assumed it when he was on the run after escaping from a chain gang in the US. He claimed he was framed for drug possession/sales but given his drug use at the time, I doubt it was a frame at all!
SomePeopleCallMeMaurice 4 years ago
My great grandparents did the same, only they were hiding in the US from the Italian Mafia! Apparently not uncommon back then. The mafia would promise “protection”, in the form of money from business owners. The “protection” was actually from the mafia itself.
Robin Roper 4 years ago
Many family names were changed, when they immigrated from Europe - by choice, to hide an ethnicity, or because the officials at places like Ellis Island just changed the names. I have a friend who is now "Jakes" after Ellis Island but was "Jaskowski" on arrival. It happened.
Bonnie Edwards 4 years ago
In my Grandmother's family, the surname was Weule (German, said something like voila). When they arrived in Australia, back before spelling became standardized, people would have trouble pronouncing the name... so we splintered into We-ule - which became Ule and Wylie.
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Mckyla Earl 4 years ago
My great grandfather did that! I know what his last name was and what mine would have been but it makes tracking his genealogy on my dad's side impossible.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Many of our grandfathers changed their names. Times were turbulent, what with the wars and other geo-political situations. It was pretty easy back in the day to start a whole new life elsewhere.
#27
My grandfather had an affair and had a son to prove it. We found this out through an ancestry test. I got to meet my half uncle, who lived one state over. He was a shy, but really nice dude. Only a handful of the family wanted to and met him. The majority don't know of his existence, and the other handful that know want nothing to do with him.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Yeah, I thought we didn’t blame children for their parents’ misdeeds.
Load More Replies... Lyn Moffett 4 years ago
Your grandfather should have kept it in his trousers. Not the guys fault he was the result of his playing away from home. Poor guy.
Sue Mullen Andersen 4 years ago
I am the child of my mother having an affair. It is awful when you find out. Even worse when you find out your bio father is a friend of your Dad's.
Robin Roper 4 years ago
I've recently met a cousin we didn't know existed until a DNA test revealed her. She'd been looking for her father (My mom's brother) but had the first name wrong and my cousin, her half-brother, had his DNA tested and entered into the shared DNA bank. She's a nice person and I'd enjoyed getting to know her.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Sure, resent the son and not the adulterer. That's awfully mature and loving.
#28
That my dad had a brother who he lost in Bolivia at age 11, I just found out about a year ago when I was moving and found a old black and white picture of a kid. I asked my mom, “who’s this?” She causally says,” your dads brother who went missing when your dad and him were kids he was 11, im keeping it in case he wants to buy it back” Weird thing to not tell me for 20 years.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Perhaps a bad divorce that left the mother a score to settle with her ex.
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Jayne Kyra 4 years ago
OP´s explanation on "buy it back": They had a really messy divorce so during it he moved into my uncles house (on my moms side) because he sold it to my mom and dad, after he moved in my mom and uncle realized they had left some of the aunts stuff their that recently passed away with cancer and my dad said he sold her stuff and he’s not giving it back to us and if we try he will call the police.
Nope 4 years ago
I'm still confused, tell me if I got this right. Dad goes living to uncle's (mother's brother) house, where there were belongings of uncle's deceased wife, and dad sells them. Why would he call the police on them, if he was the one selling stuff that wasn't his?
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Memere 4 years ago (edited)
This is what I think happened according to what Jayne Kyra discovered: Mom & Dad go thru a bitter divorce. Dad moves into the 2nd home they own, from buying it from Mom's brother. Dad finds stuff that belonged to the brother's late wife & claims he sold the aunt's stuff, & won't give it back to the brother. Mom has the photo of Dad's missing brother, so she's "holding it hostage" for a couple thousand dollars. Can't say I blame her one bit!
Whawhawhatsis 4 years ago
My grandmother had a brother who was very close in age to her so they'd always been like twins, and he died of a smallpox epidemic in Los Angeles in 1920. He's buried in Forest Lawn Cemetery. Her whole life she talked about Great-Uncle Clarence like he had just stepped out to pick up a newspaper or something -- he always seemed so very alive to her, she made him alive to the rest of us.
What do you think ?
Lily Mae Kitty 4 years ago
my grandfather ran an illegal speakeasy during prohibition. They owned an Italian restaurant and he made his own wine. The mafia, the Catholic priests, bishop, etc. and a few celebs frequented the place. My dad showed us the false wall in the vegetable cold room that was all shelves for bottles when we were kids. the wine press had a table over it. It's still a restaurant today but we haven't owned it since the 70s.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
Ah, speakeasies. I remember going there once with a good friend of mine, Rachel. I was around a hundred or so back then. Good times, good times.
Load More Replies... Ellen Ranks 4 years ago
Inherited a lot of books from my aunt who never married or had children. In one of them there was an erotic picture of her with another woman, touching each other up. It did not look like a staged thing. Looking at her hairstyle the pic was at least 40 years old. My favourite auntie was into ladies.
Rose the Cook 4 years ago
After my mother died I started researching her family since she was a very difficult person and we knew very few of her relatives. Seems anything she had told us was mostly lies. Anyway, one cousin we did know became very angry at the idea for unknown reasons.. On obtaining birth, death and marriage certificates for many relatives it turned out said cousin was born 27 months after her mother's husband died. No big deal these days but she insisted she was quote, " Just overdue, they didn't induce late babies then."
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Even an elephant would be overdue at that point, no offense, but I have encountered that mentality. For example, my grandparents were married in (year) when in fact, no, they weren't, and my dad (their second child) was on the way when they did (assuming the first chid was really my grandfather's....) Like it would shock the world to find out my gran was the first hillbilly teen girl to get knocked up. (She wasn't.)
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steven 4 years ago
We had a great aunt who had an affair with her brother in-law and became pregnant. She was sent overseas to Paris and no one ever mentioned her again. I only found this out when I found her name on a holocaust memorial in The Marais. She died in a concentration camp.
Annabelle 4 years ago
Wow that is really sad. What happened to her child?
Load More Replies... bonnyatlast 4 years ago
My Grandmother was a very sweet Christian lady. Storybook grandma like Aunt Bea on the Andy Griffith show. After she passed my mom and an Aunt were helping clean out her things as it was too upsetting for grandpa to do. I was helping and found a certificate that listed she had 4 children. My dad only had two brothers. He was the eldest, one brother was three years later then another a year after that. There was another brother that was stillborn between dad and the next brother. None of the family knew. Grandpa, who was a tall country sort that I mistook for Abe Lincoln when I was young, was still living and I asked him quietly about it. He didn't say anything but tears welled up in his eyes. The baby is in the family graveyard in a small town where they used to live.
Alexandru Bucur 4 years ago
My great-grandpa left for the US from what was then Austria Hungary in 1912. He didn't quite have the money for a passage on the ship he wanted, the "Titanic", so he had to board another ship. After setting up in the US, he sent money back to my great-grandma so she and their kids could join him, but she was too scared by the Titanic disaster to make the crossing, so she refused. He sent her money for several years, but she kept refusing. In the end he came back to what was now Romania in the late 1930s and died in the 1960s, and we found out through an ancestry website in the 2000s that while he was in the US he had married an American woman and had a second family. He had only come back to Romania because that relationship soured. Unfortunately, when we contacted them we found out the last of his kids had died a few years prior and the rest of the family weren't too interested in keeping up contact with the over the pond relatives...
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
Every now and then a weird family secret leaks out that I've grown up my whole life not knowing, but explains so much. Another one was revealed last week by my mum. And every time I'm like "wait, what?!". Are they slowly telling me my family history, or are these things just the tip of a big ol iceberg waiting for me down the line. I'm hoping the former, so I can talk about it with them while they are still here
Yort 4 years ago
All my juicy family secrets involve people who haven’t died yet, but my aunt basically has been a lying $hit-stirrer for at least as long as I’ve been alive and my mom didn’t realize it for a long time. My mom’s strained relationship with her brother is almost entirely because of my aunt lying and gossiping respectively to my mom and my uncle - telling mom “he said this, he did this” and telling my uncle that my mom said and did things. I’m als 99% sure she’s lying about having breast cancer. There’s a number of weird, suspicious things about her cancer, but the top one is that her hyper religious son never once posted about it on Facebook, even though he’s posted about doing a “prayer tree” for other things.
D Peterson 4 years ago
I'm going to start going through my paperwork & photos so I can get rid of anything too interesting before I die.
Lily Mae Kitty 4 years ago
my grandfather ran an illegal speakeasy during prohibition. They owned an Italian restaurant and he made his own wine. The mafia, the Catholic priests, bishop, etc. and a few celebs frequented the place. My dad showed us the false wall in the vegetable cold room that was all shelves for bottles when we were kids. the wine press had a table over it. It's still a restaurant today but we haven't owned it since the 70s.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
Ah, speakeasies. I remember going there once with a good friend of mine, Rachel. I was around a hundred or so back then. Good times, good times.
Load More Replies... Ellen Ranks 4 years ago
Inherited a lot of books from my aunt who never married or had children. In one of them there was an erotic picture of her with another woman, touching each other up. It did not look like a staged thing. Looking at her hairstyle the pic was at least 40 years old. My favourite auntie was into ladies.
Rose the Cook 4 years ago
After my mother died I started researching her family since she was a very difficult person and we knew very few of her relatives. Seems anything she had told us was mostly lies. Anyway, one cousin we did know became very angry at the idea for unknown reasons.. On obtaining birth, death and marriage certificates for many relatives it turned out said cousin was born 27 months after her mother's husband died. No big deal these days but she insisted she was quote, " Just overdue, they didn't induce late babies then."
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Even an elephant would be overdue at that point, no offense, but I have encountered that mentality. For example, my grandparents were married in (year) when in fact, no, they weren't, and my dad (their second child) was on the way when they did (assuming the first chid was really my grandfather's....) Like it would shock the world to find out my gran was the first hillbilly teen girl to get knocked up. (She wasn't.)
Load More Replies... steven 4 years ago
We had a great aunt who had an affair with her brother in-law and became pregnant. She was sent overseas to Paris and no one ever mentioned her again. I only found this out when I found her name on a holocaust memorial in The Marais. She died in a concentration camp.
Annabelle 4 years ago
Wow that is really sad. What happened to her child?
Load More Replies... bonnyatlast 4 years ago
My Grandmother was a very sweet Christian lady. Storybook grandma like Aunt Bea on the Andy Griffith show. After she passed my mom and an Aunt were helping clean out her things as it was too upsetting for grandpa to do. I was helping and found a certificate that listed she had 4 children. My dad only had two brothers. He was the eldest, one brother was three years later then another a year after that. There was another brother that was stillborn between dad and the next brother. None of the family knew. Grandpa, who was a tall country sort that I mistook for Abe Lincoln when I was young, was still living and I asked him quietly about it. He didn't say anything but tears welled up in his eyes. The baby is in the family graveyard in a small town where they used to live.
Alexandru Bucur 4 years ago
My great-grandpa left for the US from what was then Austria Hungary in 1912. He didn't quite have the money for a passage on the ship he wanted, the "Titanic", so he had to board another ship. After setting up in the US, he sent money back to my great-grandma so she and their kids could join him, but she was too scared by the Titanic disaster to make the crossing, so she refused. He sent her money for several years, but she kept refusing. In the end he came back to what was now Romania in the late 1930s and died in the 1960s, and we found out through an ancestry website in the 2000s that while he was in the US he had married an American woman and had a second family. He had only come back to Romania because that relationship soured. Unfortunately, when we contacted them we found out the last of his kids had died a few years prior and the rest of the family weren't too interested in keeping up contact with the over the pond relatives...
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
Every now and then a weird family secret leaks out that I've grown up my whole life not knowing, but explains so much. Another one was revealed last week by my mum. And every time I'm like "wait, what?!". Are they slowly telling me my family history, or are these things just the tip of a big ol iceberg waiting for me down the line. I'm hoping the former, so I can talk about it with them while they are still here
Yort 4 years ago
All my juicy family secrets involve people who haven’t died yet, but my aunt basically has been a lying $hit-stirrer for at least as long as I’ve been alive and my mom didn’t realize it for a long time. My mom’s strained relationship with her brother is almost entirely because of my aunt lying and gossiping respectively to my mom and my uncle - telling mom “he said this, he did this” and telling my uncle that my mom said and did things. I’m als 99% sure she’s lying about having breast cancer. There’s a number of weird, suspicious things about her cancer, but the top one is that her hyper religious son never once posted about it on Facebook, even though he’s posted about doing a “prayer tree” for other things.
D Peterson 4 years ago
I'm going to start going through my paperwork & photos so I can get rid of anything too interesting before I die.
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