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Unfortunately, not all Eureka moments in life relate to positive realizations. Sometimes they lead one to awakenings that can hurt them immensely, such as learning that a person they considered a friend is not actually worthy of the title.

Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community recently discussed such moments. They shared stories ranging from infuriating to heartbreaking on a thread started by u/Aesthetik_1 and covered all sorts of unfortunate events involving so-called friends. Scroll down to find them on the list below and consider this a reminder to check on the person that’s been by your side through thick and thin.

#1

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake Back in my first year of college, I used to have a group of friends (like 7 dudes with me included). We always hang out together and we're used to have this "group chat" where we discuss about anything from class subjects to random things. After a year, I noticed that one of the guys (let's just call him Randy) keeps getting excluded; Not invited/informed to group hangout while they're talking smack behind his back. And the "unofficial leader" of the group actually made a whole new group chat, inviting everyone (myself included) except Randy without his knowledge.

I know what it feels to be left out, I experienced that in Middle school and it's really awful. I stopped hanging out with them and I starts hanging out with Randy. He's quite eccentric but a very good person at heart. We've been friends for more than 6 years, and he still got my back

DarrenAShah , Min An Report

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DennyS (denzoren)
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Quite eccentric but a very good person at heart" are 90% of the time very cool people to hang out with.

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#2

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake When you decide to let them be the one to reach out. And you never hear from them again.

plzdontgetmad , Liza Summer Report

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David
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

they might not be 'fake'. They might be introverts. I rarely reach out except to a couple of very close friends. I always think things like - maybe they are busy - I don't know when is a good time to call. I have started to try to be more proactive with a couple of other friends but it does not come naturally for me even though I'm glad when they reach out to me.

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#3

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake I had been giving rides to a girl I thought was my friend. To and from school in high school. She wasn’t really suppose to ride with other teens but due to her mothers work hours we could easily pull this off. I thought we were close.

One day while on the way home my brakes went out. We were about 2 blocks from her gated neighborhood. I managed to roll in safely and parked at her house to call a tow truck.

She flipped. Told me I couldn’t stay. She knew my brakes were not working as she had also been terrified when we couldn’t stop. She said she wanted to go to a movie that weekend with other friends and her mom would ground her if she saw me at the house. I offered to lie and say I only stopped there as my car malfunctioned on my way home. I *had* to pass her neighborhood on my way home anyways.

She refused. Started to scream at me. She didn’t care what happened I had to go. Started to call the guard at the front gate to tell them I had broken in and was threatening her.

I left her and that friendship that moment. I managed to roll my car slowly to a mechanic not too far away but never forgot the s**t feeling of knowing I could have been seriously hurt and she wouldn’t have cared. She wanted to see a movie. She had the nerve to sheepishly call and ask me a couple days later if I could give her a ride to school. Told her I was too busy and no longer had time… after all I wanted to help her obey her moms rules. She rode the bus til she graduated.

Duffarum , Anastasiia Chaikovska Report

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Fluffy mommy panda
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an awful person. And had the guts to call and ask for a ride to school after that. Some people.

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#4

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake I had this friend in school. Each year there was a funfair in our city, all students received vouchers for a drink and something to eat. This friend complained the whole day that she had no one to accompany her to the funfair. So, stupid me offered to go with her.

Once we arrived we met another friend of hers. And another, and another... until we were a group of 5 or 6 people. I didn't know anyone and was basically just walking behind them. This friend took me aside and said, "My friends think you are annoying, and we would like you to leave."

It was a pleasure to see that she failed her exams a year later.

Auldale , nappy Report

#5

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake Him and his girlfriend asked if they could spend Christmas Day with me, my husband and our children because otherwise they’d be at home alone all day with only junk food to eat (neither of them could cook)

I organised transport over and home again after (neither of them could drive either) I cooked us all a full Christmas dinner. I organised fun games and activities so it wouldn’t be boring.

My friend and his girlfriend didn’t offer to help with anything, not cooking, not serving, not cleaning up, and not paying. They wouldn’t play the games and weren’t interested in the activities. They just wanted to sit on the sofa and eat. Then came the complaining…

They complained because we had Pepsi instead of Coke.

They complained that we had semi-skimmed milk instead of full fat.

They complained that my husband wouldn’t play video games with them (he was busy with the kids while I cooked)

They complained that there wasn’t mashed potatoes as well as roast potatoes.

They complained because they wanted different vegetables from the ones I was serving.

They didn’t thank us for anything. Needless to say I was glad when they went home. Friendship didn’t survive long after that.

Heart2001 Report

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Hanako-Kun 花子くん
Community Member
6 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who raised them!? *They* ask to come over to the ops house then complain?? Op and their family was kind enough to let them over and they didn't even get a thank you 😡

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#6

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake When I got back (to the US) from a trip to South America, I had $7 to my name. The next morning a 'friend' asked me to go to breakfast, so I could tell him about my trip. I said I didn't have any money and couldn't afford it. However, he said that's ok and off we went. When we arrived at the breakfast joint and the server came over to get our order, my 'friend' pointed at me and said "he isn't getting anything".

jdallett , cottonbro studio Report

#7

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake Finding out they have an inner-circle group chat but I'm the only one not in it.

Postlyy , fauxels Report

#8

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake When I finally opened up about what was really going on in my life, and she said that it was all too much for her to hear about. She straight up never called me back. We used to be best friends.

ProfessionalWolf9985 , RDNE Stock project Report

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Hard as pumpuli
Community Member
6 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex- ”best friend” did not invite me to her wedding, quote ”you are not part of my ”intact friend circle”, what ever that was. I should have seen it coming. Everything was always about her. I listened, never the other way around.

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#9

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake When I got really sick. Very few came to help.

Tofflus1 , Pixabay Report

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Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People show their true colours when you lose your money or your health. For better or worse.

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#10

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake Her response to finding out my husband had been cheating on me was to say to me “oh yeah, I definitely could have slept with him if I wanted to”

hereforthenow , Odonata Wellnesscenter Report

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MiriPanda
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, that sounds like he made advances at her which she rejected? So the friend just confirmed that the ex was a cheater?

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#11

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake It was several "friends." I realised that their idea of fun was to just constantly insult me. Not playful "roasting", full on constant insults.

Ulfgeirr88 , Elle Hughes Report

#12

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake At lunch, she was sitting with her boyfriend, I was sitting with our friend circle. She came up to me, guilted me into sitting with her and her boyfriend, and then proceeded to ignore me for the rest of lunch.

She didn't care about me, she just didn't want me talking to the friend circle that she had abandoned for her boyfriend. When I pointed this out to her, she called me a jealous b***h.

Ah, high school. How I don't miss thee.

Symnestra , Norma Mortenson Report

#13

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake When plans with me became tentative should something better with someone else come up. That s**t hurts.

aspha7t , Mati Mango Report

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Mabelbabel
Community Member
6 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had an ex that I'd occasionally meet up with, and over coffee one day, he told me his latest girlfriend had dumped him and he didn't know why. She'd got upset because he'd told her to keep Saturday night free because there was a 60% chance he'd be able to see her-basically, he'd see her if nothing better came along. He had done this all the time to me-he had his priorities, and I was way down the list. Plans made with me were completely flexible and non-fixed, and I was expected to hang around and wait, and then fill in at short notice if his other, more important plans fell through. 20 years later, he was still doing it and wondering why he was single in his 50s. I'd told him at the time we split that his behaviour was a big part of the split, but he seemed genuinely incapable of accepting it was unreasonable. Don't make someone your whole focus if you're just an option to them.

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#14

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake When he only called me when he needed something. It didn't hit me until much later.

Queasy-Location-9303 , Lisa Fotios Report

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DennyS (denzoren)
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've had this happen before, it sucks but the earlier you recognize it the better.

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#15

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake Riding in my best friend’s car, in our early 20s, telling her about how my relationship with my mother was becoming so toxic and crumbling before my eyes- she interrupted me to ask that I be quiet during her favorite part of the song that was on the radio. When that part was finished, she told me I could resume my story. I was pouring my heart out. I was young and devastated, and even then I knew that was a really messed up thing to do and it instantly changed the way I viewed her as a friend. We were going on seven years of close friendship, and it was finished in that one car ride.

reallytiredteacher , Wendy Wei Report

#16

When I was r**ed my friends all disappeared. The guy who r**ed me wasn’t even in our friend circle and went to jail for another crime. It wasn’t he said she said it was very obviously r**e. I lost all of my friends and when I confronted a couple of them after going to therapy they said “we believed you we just didn’t want to deal with the DRAMA” I had never even talked about the r**e with them I was just less entertaining when we hung out because I was traumatized. These are people who I let stay at my house whenever, I had a good job so I bought them things, I was always the driver and always the person they would turn to when they needed something. It was a hard lesson to learn at 16 and I didn’t actually learn it then, I just internalized it and believed I was overreacting and I had done something wrong. I still believe the best in everyone but man, that belief gets shaken quite a lot. Now I’m friends with my husband and kids and don’t bother with anyone else.

Lovelittled0ve Report

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BrownTabby
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

BP, do you have ANY idea how disrespectful it is to censor the word “rāpe” IN A POST BY A RĀPE VICTIM?!

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#17

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake When he stole my checkbook, forged my signature and took money out of my account. This was after I let him live with me and my family for two years after his parents kicked him out in high school

Human-Magic-Marker , Pixabay Report

#18

Anytime I had good news, she'd find an INSTANT way to downplay it.

"I got the job!" (Ha! You're excited about *that* hourly???)

"My crush just texted me about hanging out!" (Right. Like *you* have money to do cool s**t.)

"The gym is working -- I'm down 8 lbs!" (It's water weight, sweetie, chill.)

Literally nothing that made me happy could come outta my mouth and be celebrated in kind. This was someone I grew up thinking was "so cool," but only made me feel like s**t to be around. I finally broke away and it pissed her off so bad, she actively spilled my secrets and "tea" to folks who had no business knowing that much stuff about me.

Oh well.

ThaiLassInTheSouth Report

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who need to put others down to somehow feel better about themselves - what are you doing? This isn’t even one-upping, it’s just taking a nasty, pointless power dump on other people’s accomplishments and feelings.

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#19

When I was babysitting her kids things were going great. We would hangout all the time...have movie nights and just talk and chill. But the second she no longer needed a babysitter was the second I got kicked to the curb. No explanation...not even a text back. Some people will act like your best friend until they no longer need you. Their loss though.

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#20

When she tried to poison me with drano, she was moving away the next day hoping she would not get caught, she was just way too insistent I eat lunch she made, tipped me off.

LuckBLady Report

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Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

...holy s**t. We somehow went from accounts of "friends" acting like ungrateful, bullying jerks to *attempted murder*. I sincerely hope this psycho didn't go on to actually kill someone, because if they try it once they're going to try it again.

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Epsilon
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ikr!? Im very much into crime things (I want to go into the FBI) but this person is talking about this like it happens all of the time. Like, what!?

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Girl Bear
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How was the Draino determined? That's a pretty strong liquid. Not easily hidden in food right?

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Maartje
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So much missing here- you were tipped off by the way she tried to make you eat. How did you figure out that there was drano in your food? The fact that is was bubbling up like a witches cauldron??

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#21

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake When they loved the idea of me shining, but behind their shadow, I could never do or achieve anything above them, and when I did, they would get jealous.

Jasssin23 , Budgeron Bach Report

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David
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that is sad. in a friendship and especially a romantic relationship I prefer it if the other person does better / is richer / whatever. It frequently means they have more self confidence and financial independence which in turn means they are more likely to be my friend for the right reasons rather than because they "need" me.

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#22

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake When the only time we hung out is when I initiated making plans.

Ijuswannareadposts , Afta Putta Gunawan Report

#23

Friend “A” warned me that Friend “B” was openly disrespectful, even hostile when speaking of me when I wasn’t around. They got into an argument. Friend B sent me screenshots of their conversation to get me on their side but there seemed to be whole sentences missing. When I asked for clarification, they called me dumb. Friend A showed me all the missing messages where they called me much worse than just “dumb”. Friend B lost two great friends for good after that.

Oldnavylover Report

#24

After 20 years of friendship with a woman I once knew well, I went through a divorce.

She almost immediately stopped speaking to me, left her husband of 25 years and moved out, *and made a run for my soon-to-be ex-husband*

My soon-to-be ex wanted nothing to do with her romantically and flatly rejected her advances. She eventually crawled back to her husband, where she is today

As I later found out, her 3 siblings had sat her down for an intervention, asking her what the hell she was thinking for hurting her nice husband and her good friend (me) - and for potentially ruining her childhood friendship with my ex, as their families were old friends in this city and went way back. She pretended not to know what they were talking about and carried on with her plan

At the time I was blindsided; alternately crushed - and PISSED - at her betrayal and for her decades-long false friendship with me. The realization that she wasthisclosetome for 2 decades just to be close to my husband(!!!) is still mind bending, 7 years later

But I have to laugh at the social embarrassment she brought upon herself and her current state-of-misery

My now-ex is remarried and I am dating. He and I co-parent and get along very well, and our kids are loved by us all. His friendship with her is no longer

She has eaten herself into a ball that is almost as wide as she is tall. *You reap what you m***********g sow*

Feisty-Business-8311 Report

#25

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake Talking behind my back about private stuff.

ray458 , Athena Report

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Jill Bussey
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My MIL did this; talking with random people who then tried to talk to me about it. Like, how did they know this stuff?

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#26

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake I had one friend go and tell my boss I was job hunting.

Had a few steal from me.

Had one blame me when she stole something.

I've had quite a few deliberately trigger my trauma to the point where I stopped telling people about it.

Ok-Cheetah-9125 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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Blue Morpho Butterfly
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry, it sounds like lots of your friends have sadly turned out to be a******s☹️

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#27

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake Constantly “one ups” me. A real friend is happy for you.

Complex-Half8338 , Mizuno K Report

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DennyS (denzoren)
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know someone like this, it's the absolute worse having a conversation with them about anything.

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#28

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake ALL she talks about it herself and her problems. Granted she has a a lot but never asks about me or my life until she realizes she just bypassed my attempt to want to talk about something in my life bothering me and continued to talk about herself.

PokemomOnTheGo , August de Richelieu Report

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Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a "friend" who was like that. I'm a naturally empathetic person so I was prepared to listen and offer suggestions on how to deal with his problems, but he had no interest whatsoever in taking my advice or indeed doing anything about said problems other than complain. Eventually I realised he was just a whiny self-pitying toxic a*****e.

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#29

When he would only take and never even offer to give back. Always with the "I left my money at home, but ill totally pay you back." Never paid anything back, ever. Other friends and I would call him out on it but there was always an excuse. Eventually he screwed over another mate at a gig they went to (only thing he paid for was a drink, had another mate even pay for his ticket in with some BS reason), so we all collectively decided we don't need or want him around anyway.

He's barely made an attempt to keep in touch in 10 years and we certainly haven't.

DariusSlim Report

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#30

30 People Share The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Their “Friend” Was Fake When they didn't remember our conversations and just talked for the sake of talking

Real_Willingness1004 , RDNE Stock project Report

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Epsilon
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people just have bad memories. It's not their fault.

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#31

When I came out. And it wasn’t just one.

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#32

He slapped my cat in the face. He's lucky I'm a passive because I would've absolutely wrecked him if I was a violent person.

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#33

She had sex with my brother. Who was married…. While she was also married. While being his wife’s best friend. Military.

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#34

When they blew up a 20 year friendship by working to convince my wife I didn't love her anymore just so he could get his d**k wet with her.

BeachJustic3 Report

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#35

Keep taking, but never give back.

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J Melody Rice
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friend of 20 years let me.rent her house. I was never late with rent and did all the land maintaining.I visited her and she goeson about she hopes I stay in her home a long time. Fae days later, She evicted me with 30 days norice at the peek of the pandemic, by showing up at my house with a constable who had a gun on his hip. Instead of just talking to me. With my child and elderly father home. I didn't take it well. But attempted to mend things. But lahort time ater when my dad was diagnosed with lukemia her reaction was that of completely non caring. Looking back it was a one sided relationship she clearly never cared. So i stopped calling and she never reached back out.

#36

Her dad died and I made sure that I was there to listen and support in any way she needed me to. My grandad (who I was very close to) died and I didn't hear from her for three months.

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Lame Llama
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad died, and I was really suffering form the heartache. My supossedly "bff" went missing, even though they know that I am in a bad place, but their mental health is more important. So all 20+ years, I have been around for their bad days, but they have never there for me, yet call me "bff".

#37

He tried to feel me up at her birthday party.

I tried to tell her, but she took his side.

We're no longer friends.

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never get this. Even if they took his side, doesn’t part of them know the truth, at least on some level? Similarly, I got felt up by a plumber and when I told my then-boyfriend about it he took the plumber’s side and said I must have been flirting. Much like OP, 1. I had absolutely no reason to make that story up, and 2. we’re also no longer in a relationship 😅

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#38

I totally supported him for years because he was going through a rough patch. Not entirely, but ANYTIME we went out, beers, golf, movies, concerts, food was on me. He always protested a little bit and said he didn’t want to take advantage.

I had noticed that he hadn’t lifted a finger to help himself in quite awhile and was cool sponging off his mom. Whenever I mentioned ways I could help besides giving him s**t or ways he could make money, he got s****y and said people weren’t helping him with his depression (I tried. Leading a horse to water, etc.)

I fell on hard times and couldn’t afford to foot the bill for everything. Man, I felt so dumb when he got pissed because I asked him to cover part of his meal and drinks at the bar.

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#39

When I quit drinking and they never wanted to hang out again or when they did want to hang out they wanted to meet at the bar.

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Maartje
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is part of the recovery process that they warn you about- you lose "drinking buddies" friends . However, you will gain new ones, find new hobbies etc- and I am glad you quit. Keep it up.

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#40

When she was happy to hear that I was getting divorced. She was unhappily single and wanted to see me unhappily single, too.

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Maartje
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ehm- I know I was glad when my BFF broke up with her boyfriend- because he was abso- frecking-LUTELY wrong for her. Luckily, she felt the same way.

#41

I've always been that kind of friend who is always there for other people. Even if they call me up at 3:00 a.m. in the middle of a snowstorm to come pick them up. I've always been reliable. But then I realized when I finally needed something, even when it wasn't a big something, and they were never available and always had an excuse and always ignored me and could never be bothered to lift a finger but yet had no issues constantly asking me for favors. That's no friend

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#42

Best friend/man at my wedding slept with my married sister on my wedding night. Whole family found out, told me after we got back from honeymoon.

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#43

Only hit me up when they needed something.

Was a roomate, didnt give me any bill money, because they were "waiting on unemployment". So I went through their mail from unemployment one day. Turns out they had been getting paid for months. This was confirmed by mutual friends, and his girlfriend.

I moved out and shut all the utilities off that were in my name. Went back to get a few things and they looked at like they wanted to kill me. Sorry to end your free ride.

We had been friends for 25 years. Haven't talked to them since. That was 2020

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Ima Manimal
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There’s nothing like kicking a mooch off of the gravy train

#44

When she only wanted to be friends when she needed me or had time for me. Never when I needed her.

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#45

When something bad happened to me and they had to contain a gleeful expression

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Alongside success and failure, for some it is not enough to be happy. Others must suffer. Having said that…we might need a tiny bit more info - I just realised that only yesterday I too had to hide a snort of laughter when hearing exactly how my friend broke the tip of her little finger 😅

#46

When I was at my lowest point in life the friends that came to visit are the ones I still have and the ones that didn’t bother I cut them off and lost contact with them purposely. Life is too short for that

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#47

When they told me that no one will ever love or go for me

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#48

When they won't sacrifice equally over an extended period of friendship. Like they won't travel to you but expect it back, won't call to make plans but is okay doing so when you do it, speaks to you in ways that are disrespectful but it isn't done to all friends just some or one (if your a guy thill make sense, targeted roasting), etc.

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Lame Llama
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am in the process of slowly going NC with a friend like that. The thing is I defended him from my husband for years when my husband realised that I am always the one reaching and going out of my way to visit and stay in touch (we live in different countries).

#49

When I told them I had an issue with racial slurs, and then they proceeded to say it 1000 times to p**s me off.

When one friend literally screamed at me after beating them on a game. SWBF2 ended a friendship quicker than any other outside force had done

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#50

If they're not happy to see you win/They dont want you to win.

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#51

Had personal issues and confided this person. Then this person went ahead and told coworkers.

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#52

I had a best friend who was like a sister to me from age 4 to 16. My family had practically “unofficially” adopted and raised her, and she spent more time at our house than her own. She was from a broken family, and her mom was a drug addict. We even paid for her to go on family Disneyland trips with us every year.

Anyway, towards the end of our friendship, she started doing drugs and hanging out with the wrong crowd.

One day, I decided to write her a heartfelt but slightly “tough-love” type letter, basically saying that I missed the way things used to be and that she needed to get her act together. I left the letter on her doorstep.

A few days later, I was contacted online by one of her newer friends asking about my plans for that evening. I was a little taken aback by this, considering this person had never spoken to me before, but ended up telling them that I didn’t have any plans that night.

The next morning, my family and I woke up to find out that our house had been egged and “ketchupped.” My mom’s side mirror on her Jeep had also been smashed. We reported it to the police, but they didn’t really care, as there was no way to prove who did it.

For the next several weeks, I was harassed and stalked online and in real life. I received dozens of messages, phone calls, and voicemails from blocked numbers, essentially threatening to ruin my life and do horrible (and illegal) things to me that I will not repeat.

My mom contacted her mom and several other mothers to tell them what their kids had been doing to me, and everything eventually stopped.

She and I never spoke again. Still, to this day, I have no idea how or why, a simple heartfelt letter could result in that level of bullying. I still struggle with it. In the end, I realized she was never a good friend to begin with.

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livlisbon84 avatar
Olivia Lisbon
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There’s no reasoning with someone who, when confronted with the fact they’re acting like a juvenile årsehøle, will go on to prove they’re not by…acting like a more violent juvenile årsehøle.

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#53

He made fun of me just to be the man infront of girls, never cared about what I felt
This happend years ago

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#54

When my phone got stolen and I lost their phone numbers. Mine stayed the same, but we just never talked again.

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livlisbon84 avatar
Olivia Lisbon
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What if by some twist of fate they all lost their phones, though? See, this would never have happened in the 90’s when you still had to dial and thus remember your friends’ phone numbers 😁

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#55

My best friend for years threw a party and trashed my house while me & my family were on vacation, she also stole my vape, gave her friends my clothes and swim suits, and took my car for multiple joy rides. Then once people start hearing about it she goes around telling everyone how sorry she is and how horrible she feels, how she is so scared she will lose me as a friend.

I never heard anything from her other than “I didn’t do anything wrong”.

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#56

She moved 15 minutes away and I never heard from her again

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livlisbon84 avatar
Olivia Lisbon
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Paradoxically this can happen - you’re so close you think, oh, I can see them anytime, and as a result, you never do.

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#57

Reconnected after several years when they were in town, had coffee to catch up.

Since I'd seen them last, my partner and I had two kids with extra medical needs, who would likely never live independently. It was a lot and we were still coping with the day to day, including recently calling 911 multiple times for one child's breathing issues - we knew the ICU nurses by name.

My friend explained that they knew more about the lives of children with disabilities than I did, as a parent, because they were researching it for a paper at university.

Haven't talked to them since.

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Lene
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How rude of them! Sure, they may know a lot about that specific topic... but the true experts are those living it. And yeah, it is heartbreaking to have to go to the hospital so often that you know the staff by name. And even more when the staff remembers you. The "oh, hi! You're back again! How are things?/are you back with the same issue as last time?"... it's just not something I ever thought would happen to me. Before we had our 3rd kid we were only at the hospital because of tests etc when I was pregnant. Then 3rd kid came and she had issues with her pelvis and her kidneys and all 3 kids have had seizures that nobody can explain. And the 3rd kid is only 2yo. 😬

#58

When she had daily drama, health issues, family issues, truth issues...and was all about "me me me" all the time. Draining as hell.

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#59

When the meds made them go away

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#60

When she used what I told her in confidence as an attack during a disagreement we were having.

That b***h can choke.

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J Melody Rice
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a friend of 20 years that i truely thought would be in my life forever. I was renting from her, went for a visit. She expresses how she loved us (me child and my elderly father) living there and "hoped we stayed for a long long time" two weeks later she shows up at my house with an armed constable to forcibly evict me. Gave me 30 days to quit in the peek of the pandemic. I had no savings for first/last. I admit i took it poorly. Called her a lot of names for not just talking to me about it. But despite everyone inmy live telling me to dig in i made it work. (The most stressful experience of my life) and moved. I tried to mend things but when i told her my dad had lukemia, her reaction made it clear she didn't care. Recounted the friendship with therapist and came to see she was never really my friend. She just tollerated me. So i stopped calling and never heard from her again. Can't say i miss her anymore. Also don't trust new people at all. Thank for that life lesson!

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#61

She broke up with her boyfriend and hooked up with me and mine for a “crazy” night. We were all adults, consensual and discussed it beforehand and afterwards. We repeated the experience at her request. Two weeks later she decided to try and get back with her boyfriend and told him about her escapade. He apparently refused to take her back if she had slept around, so she told him my bf and I had drugged and taken advantage of her. Yeah. Bonus: I am myself a r**e survivor and she knows this. I felt disgusted with myself with the simple accusation of doing such a horrendous thing. Years later she reached out, apologized and we ironed things out. Of course, things never went back to before and I am sad I lost a friend I liked dearly.

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#62

When everything felt more like a social opportunity for her

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#63

When it comes to money, you can tell whether you are a friend or an enemy

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livlisbon84 avatar
Olivia Lisbon
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I…guess so...? This is a little ambiguous, but I’m guessing it’s something to do with ‘the richer you are, the harder it is to know whether your friends like you or your money’? Although in that case ‘enemy’ might be a bit strong, so now I’m a bit less certain. Thoughts, anyone?

#64

One of my high school girlfriends spent the summer away. When she returned, my "friend" told her, "Damn, this dude really loves you." And then he slept with her. Turns out neither of them were my friends.

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#65

She told me she'd talked with my boyfriend (my first serious bf) and he was breaking up with me. Then, as I'm crying and upset, she tells me she needs to go because she needs to talk to HER bf. Yeah, f****d up s**t.

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livlisbon84 avatar
Olivia Lisbon
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m hoping here for the smallest silver lining - that HER bf was not OP’s apparently-suddenly-ex bf, but that she simply had either no heart or no sense of appropriate timing. I’m also hoping for a full-blown sun emerging from the cloud - that it was bollocks, OP’s bf was as surprised to hear about the dumping as OP was, and the only one who ended up ‘dumped’ was the ‘friend’.

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