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As a millennial, I still remember calling my high school best friend and talking for hours until there was nothing in our lives the other didn't know about. But the world has changed a lot since then and so has our communication habits.
In 2018, there were 2.25 billion mobile phone messaging app users globally and this number is expected to grow to 3.5 billion by 2025. In many places, the phrase "Everyone's texting" is not even an exaggeration.
But reducing an interaction to just symbols can be tricky. When there's so little that holds a conversation together, things are bound to get (a little) chaotic. And the Instagram account 'Funny Texts' is a perfect example of that.
From contacting the wrong number to simple puns, continue scrolling to check out what it has to offer.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Panda Mona 3 years ago
You have to notice that the message in the middle appears as "not delivered". So if you read just the other ones, it says "I ended up banging your wife and daughter"
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Vortex Lazer 3 years ago
I have seen this around 10 times in other meme accounts but this is just too funny.
that weird weeb 3 years ago
I'm cringing for this poor dude. He's gonna have some explain to do
RELATED:
#2
WeChat is popular in China, Line is big in Japan, and WhatsApp... Well, it's WhatsApp. It has 2 million users. But in these apps, messages travel over the internet rather than over phone lines like SMS texts and, interestingly, the United States is one of the few big countries where SMS, the texting technology with origins in the 1980s, remains a standard way to chat.
As Shira Ovide highlighted in The New York Times, America's SMS exceptionalism has its pros and cons. The biggest benefits of SMS are that it works on almost any phone, and people are not locked into one company's communications world. The drag, however, is that SMS has security flaws, and it lacks features of modern chat apps like notifications that your friend has read your message, or the ability to start a video call from a text.
#3
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
He was a sweet potato, a real spud muffin. He taterly had eyes for green texter
Many people also think that texting is bad because it makes us lazy in the way we speak, but language guru David Crystal thinks that it's causing neither bad spelling nor moral decay.
The UK's leading linguistic academic told The Guardian, "Almost every basic principle that people hold about texting turns out to be misconceived."
#7
adiiantryx 3 years ago (edited)
exactly michael pizza deliverymen are the backbone of modern society. who doesn't love pizza
Mr.Knaps 3 years ago
It's funny if you make something sound intellectual then people are impressed but then when you put it into laymen terms for them they are unimpressed its like when someone likes their food until you tell them whats in it.
chaotic awesome 3 years ago
you don’t need superpowers to be a hero! just help others out and do the right thing!!! (i mean superpowers are cool tho)
MyOpinionIsServed 3 years ago
So where do you work? I'm an executive concierge for an international hor'deurve delivery service. Oh cool, what's it called?? Dior Dashe. Are you just saying DoorDash? That is one way to pronounce it, yes. 🤣
queen p 3 years ago
Which is why i ordered domino's lmao. Love you domino's never stop being delicious and affordable
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#8
ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ 3 years ago
*fire engine sound* Hello? We are here to put out the fire caused by HIS BADASS MOM
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#9
best turtle 3 years ago
holy s**t are flame throwers just lying around in the streets of something?
"Misspelling isn't universal: analysis shows that only 10% of words used in texts are misspelled. Nor are most texts sent by kids: 80% are sent by businesses and adults," Crystal explained.
"Likewise, there is no evidence that texting teaches people to spell badly: rather, research shows that those kids who text frequently are more likely to be the most literate and the best spellers, because you have to know how to manipulate language."
#10
Ashley Schriber 3 years ago (edited)
I have worked as an editor, I would correct this same wording in an academic paper or formal business communication, and still understand that people who correct it in spoken or text conversation are pretentious douchebags.
Kendall Walls 7 months ago
Trevor is a nit-picking grammarian, like me. 40+ years teaching has that effect on us. It's why Japanese people's mangling of our language is so disturbing.
#11
Lillian Swaim 3 years ago
When my lil bro hit a road runner my mom made similar jokes about the Coyote finally getting what he's always wanted, while my brother is bawling his eyes out
#13
Ambry Petersen 8 months ago
Weeelll that could go to ways. Roach is also a type of fish so no fish for a week, a c**k can refer to a male chicken, so no chicken for a week. If you are using the non dietary definitions then you're on your own.
According to Crystal, if you can't spell a word, then you don't really know whether it's cool to misspell it in the first place.
"Kids have a very precise idea of context - none of those I have spoken to would dream of using text abbreviations in their exams - they know they would be marked down for it."
Of course, changing public opinion is hard work, but Crystal is hopeful he can convert the linguistic reactionaries.
#15
ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ 3 years ago
been there done that. the "hehe" of satisfaction is satisfying as hell lol
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Terilee Bruyere 3 years ago
I need to remember this. My google assist tends to do whatever the h3ll it wants and often gives me suggestions on what to ask (ie tell me a joke). Then it has the nerve to say "sorry, I cannot do that". Then don't bloody well suggest it!
this violent end (she/her) 3 years ago
um excuse me??? the network auto reply is my best friend, not yours!
I like donuts 3 years ago
And then TMobile replies to the "hehe" with another "Sorry, this service is not available" so their a double b***h
Laura Parker 10 months ago
I get those same messages although I pay for ‘unlimited’ data?!? How is this legal?
#17
Curry on... 3 years ago (edited)
I just texted this to a couple of people. Waiting for the response. Heh, heh. First reply - a meme shrugging it's shoulders. Second reply: Suspension Cables.
"The reality is that people have always had a tremendous fear about the impact of new technology on language," Crystal said.
"When the printing press was first invented, people thought it was an instrument of the devil that would spawn unauthorized versions of the Bible. The telephone created fears of a breakdown in family life, with people no longer speaking directly to one another. And radio and television raised concerns about brainwashing.
#18
Jihana 3 years ago
The sad thing is...she did it doubly wrong if she put in on her vagina and not her vulva.
Sky Render 3 years ago
I really hope it was just a case of not realizing the correct terminology, because otherwise, OW!
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Joe 3 years ago
I'm SO glad I'm a man. Women have to deal with really annoying, traumatic physical stuff that I know I couldn't handle.
Elizabeth Amador 3 years ago
The adhesive side is waterproof. How did she deal with the blood going all over? Even if she switched primarily to tampons it sounds like she repeatedly relied on the pads some times. This just can't be real.
Moo Moo Futch 3 years ago
I'm guessing she saved a fair amount of money on waxing her whisker biscuit though
#19
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
My dad left me in a shopping cart. Some seriously old man had to chase him down to stop him from leaving without me. It was one of my parents' favorite story. I'm still not sure how I feel about that.
Tiger Pearl 3 years ago
After my son was born my husband, me, and my daughter went to the store. We were talking and all of us simultaneously started walking off without the stroller…. In our defense he was still pretty new and we were so used to it being just us three. 😂 Thankfully he was only sitting in the bread aisle a minute before I came to my senses! 🤦♀️
Joybug 3 years ago
My parents have at times forgotten me for hours on end.
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#20
Nonexistant Shoelace (he/they) 3 years ago
Once my dad farted so loud that he cleared the table behind him xD
The Sorrows of Mother LoveJoy 3 years ago
My 5 year old daughter,without asking her,took the heat for my farty sounding shoes while I was in court.impeccable wingman.
Mud spider 3 years ago
My mom used to make me do yoga with her when I was little and one time she farted so loud it echoed and she whispered “we can never go back” we never did
Eb 3 years ago
I once went to an art exhibition where everyone but me had paid for an audio guide and they were all at it. It was like they had whoopie cushions attached to their feet.
Nicki 3 years ago
I laughed so hard at this, I had to mute my meeting!! 🤣🤣🤣
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Joshua Selbitschka 3 years ago
I'll fully admit, I once managed to quiet half a high school lunchroom with a belch. Never pulled it off again and never want to either. If I'm not at work, I like to fade into the background.
#21
BORKADYMUSIC 3 years ago
I WOULD DO THIS WITH MY BESTIE! “Excuse me stranger, how long was I in Narnia?”
Oerff On Tour 3 years ago
Expected response: "Took you long enough to come out of the closet!"
"Text messaging is just the most recent focus of people's anxiety; what people are really worried about is a new generation gaining control of what they see as their language."
At its most basic, language is an expression of identity. How we speak is central to who we think we are and where we think we belong. So feel free, experiment, and send the funniest results of your 'studies' to 'Funny Texts!'
#22
Vanta Black 3 years ago
Don't salute him! What if he was in bed with Ashley's best friend?
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Natalie Kudryashova 3 years ago
Really though, violent girlfriend is way outdated comedy material. Would anyone laugh if it was a girl and her boyfriend’s mum told her to run because he’s coming for her with a baseball bat
BigFootToo 3 years ago
We're playing softball later at the park. Can't play without a bat, duh
#23
Summer Mason 3 years ago
Me talking to my husband on the phone "can you call my phone I can't find it" him "babe? Really?" 🤦♀️
Comfort Fabric 1 year ago
why cant it be that he is connected to whatsapp web and chatting through his laptop ?
Leoninus Fate 3 years ago
I have had my mom tell me to call my phone with my phone to see where my phone was...so that was really confusing and dumb {to be fair she's going through cancer and kidney failure and is slowly dieing, so shes is not all there right now}
#24
Spikey boi 3 years ago
Some phones have an auttocorrect setting and you can make it auttocorrect specific words to others, like in this case, have it auttocorrect "hi" to "nugget"
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Urbangirlatl 3 years ago
I once set my husband's phone so that every time he asked me for a particular sexual favor it would autocorrect to "I'm a twit". 🤣
Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago
This reminds me of a related post in which someone changed every word they could think of on their mom's phone to "nugget" or "nyoom".
#25
El muerto 3 years ago
small lessons in life, don't shake it in public guys.....you could get soda on everybody
#26
Sleazy Weaver 3 years ago (edited)
looks more like something pulled from r/im14andthisisdeep than something awesome 🙄
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Devil's Advocate 3 years ago
Even worse considering their name in the phone
Load More Replies... Evil Hornet 3 years ago
Have enough self-control to come up with this kind of comeback is my new life goal
Alex The Fanperson 3 years ago
This isn't even funny. This is sad especially if you look at the name
#27
#28
Spikey boi 3 years ago (edited)
You know. I will say this to everyone because there's not enough positivity in the world. Your very awsome!
#29
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
I've been in the position of the "nervous guy" in this, with my uncle. Don't do this, I beg you. It's just mean.
#30
Thorfin Wolfsbane 3 years ago
Your honor, I would like to introduce exhibit A in the case of "Made up text exchanges"
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Thomson StClair 3 years ago
Must be one big f*****g blender. I think this one is fake for the setup and punch line.
#31
Marcellus II 3 years ago
Too bad it's a scripted joke, should write the last two lines to make it more natural.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
wellllllll if she's in the audience, fair enough... it's if she's on stage that I think the mom needs to ask questions, like, is she not giving her enough pocket money...
Danielle Swafford 1 year ago
If she is a dancer at a club she is at least 21, so I think most people would agree that it isn't the mom's responsibility to give her money for rent, bills or pocket money. And while I agree there's nothing wrong with the sister being a guest at the club (except that he may be outting her sexuality before she was ready to do so), equally so, i don't see why there isn't anything wrong with someone being a stripper. It's a legitimate job, you pay taxes just like other jobs, and mentally and physically, it is far from an easy line of work.
Load More Replies... Danielle Swafford 1 year ago
I thought that too but based on the comments, I think they mean working at the club.
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Bent. O. Jensen 3 years ago
Yes, It's take your daughter-to-work day, my son. See you in a moment.
BigFootToo 3 years ago
Coming to the stage now Miss Kitty, also Jeff's sister. Make her feel welcome..
#32
#33
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
So very mysterious that we don't even understand 1/2 the time.
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#34
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago (edited)
My cousin is "Mama Bear", my friend is "Her Majesty Queen [name]", and my other friend is "[name] the Great". My big brother is "The Fluff".
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Who Panda 420 3 years ago (edited)
Always save as Pizza Man. Back in my paranoid days you would call and say man I could eat a whole pizza that was an ounce of Bud. Or man I think I can handle half a pizza and that was a half oz
#35
#36
Rosie McLeod 3 years ago
Who discusses this with their dad?! Boundaries people! The line is a dot to him!
Marcellus II 3 years ago
It's not like this is a screenshot of an actual conversation.
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#37
Monday 3 years ago
Yes. It's a free out. "really, you don't think the emojis are too much?" would work too.
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#38
Timothy McLaughlin 3 years ago
same as my parents when i win a game at 3 am
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Madison García 3 years ago
Wow literally thought blue was going to say "were you born on a highway? Because I wanna ride it all night loooong" like the song from Cars
#39
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
Your address in the universe actually is: Earth, Third planet from sun, Solar system, local interstellar cloud, local bubble, orion arm, milky way galaxy, local group, virgo supercluster, observable universe, universe.
#40
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Gutentag, où est the library? I quiero una nueva könyv. Dw i'n hoffi cathod.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
That language is European. I speak that and English, so two languages total 😁
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#41
Elizabeth Stickney 2 years ago
When I saw the name I knew this was staged but funny as hell
Load More Replies... Leoninus Fate 3 years ago
I thought that was a good one, not actually worth a date, but still a good one
#42
Theblackdeath757 3 years ago
yeah this account is basically just him pretending to be a bonehead
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Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
I want to see you struggle in Texas. It'd be fun.
Load More Replies... Lillian Swaim 3 years ago
This guy is a pretty popular gag/joke guy online, I've seen a lot of his stuff, pretty funny but completely staged
Qibli of the SandWings 3 years ago
Bought the wrong tickets and spent the rest of the day at the airport being an ignoramus
Marco Conti 3 years ago
Well, many years ago, some guy took a plane to Oakland, California, but instead arrived in Auckland, New Zealand. He did get a bit worried after five or six hours overflying the Pacific Ocean but he wasn't that good at geography.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
This is a joke I'm sure of it, I recognise the dude he does funny posts like this
#43
Stannous Flouride 3 years ago
Grandma is laughing and can't wait to show this to all her friends. (If she's a grandma now there's a VERY good chance she was a teen or 20-nothing in the 1960s)
Dariusz M. D. 3 years ago
Bored Panda! Stop covering body parts in paintings. What's the matter with you? You are worse than the Evangelicals in the US.
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
Richard Burton said arguing with Elizabeth Taylor was impossible because she would strip naked, and he couldn't concentrate.
#44
2x4b523p 3 years ago
I knew how to spell scissors but dude confused me so bad I had to look it up again.
LuCa 3 years ago
So frustrating when neither of us know the correct spelling!
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#45
Parmeisan 3 years ago
I especially appreciate how after making this reply, they posted it to the internet for likes.
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Leoninus Fate 3 years ago
I have literally done with past boyfriends, told them "Nah" cause I was gaming
speedy_gonzales 3 years ago
tbf he just got a legenderary scar and launch pad AND the circle hasnt closed
#46
#47
Evil Hornet 3 years ago
I don'y know who the teacher was reffering to but backfire was well deserved ^^
#48
#49
#50
I like donuts 3 years ago
I can picture her taking out her emoji pistol and shooting him over text
#51
Tracy Aubrey 3 years ago
Maybe he should have started the text by telling her it was him and he has a new number. I think he did it on purpose, sounds like a creep.
#52
#53
Farah Kamal 1 year ago
im sorry but who texts their son/daughter in the middle of f*****g their mom like???
#54
#55
memyselfandI 3 years ago
You can tell if it was intentional if there’s time stamps on the messages :)
#56
#57
adiiantryx 3 years ago
well they weren't shellfish about those excellent puns, they didn't clam up and shared it online
Martin Kaine 3 years ago
Puns about the sea are not easy; it's just something you can't coast through.
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#58
ephemeral_mochi 3 years ago
You've been hit by you've been struck by a smooth criminal
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#59
Ray Heap 3 years ago
Reminds me of Ethel´s 85th birthday. The denizens of the senior citizens home put on a birthday bash with cake, bubbly and a male stripper...... Guy come in, does his dance and strip and as a finishing flourish asks Ethel...: "Do you want super sex?" Ethel looks at the guy over the top of her glasses..: "Young man, I´m 85, I think I´ll have the soup!"
Marie Dahme 3 years ago
There is actually a restaurant in Phoenix called Souper! Salad!…..and all they serve is a giant salad bar of different kinds of soups and salads. It’s like that restaurant Sweet Tomatoes. Love that place!
#61
Bored Toadette 3 years ago (edited)
S(he) should choosed better words to discribe.. Of course he think you mean him when saying "someone who looks like you".. That was just mean!
#62
#63
Jill Hojnacki 3 years ago
Try again. Male dogs are not referred to as bitches. When you say it to your pops, you’re still insulting her, directly. You’re just compounding it by also insulting his choice of a wife.
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#65
#66
Bacony Cakes 3 years ago (edited)
Well, we're a bit Singapore, so Malawi you could just have some Syrial, or put the Turkey in the microwave Oman. It'll be better than eating nothing Nepal. Make sure to drink some Rwanda, too.
#67
#68
Kanuli 3 years ago
Japanese are such friendly folks, and helpful, generous. Food is awesome too. Why is that an insult? Get lost in America, or North Korea?
kaycee14 3 years ago
I'd guess that... yes, you are literally the only one. But that means you're unique!
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#69
#71
BasedWang 3 years ago (edited)
good eye good eye. You can even see the wrapper
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Wang Zhuang 3 years ago
Looks like he's texting with a Slim Jim. Haha I just got the image of Macho Man in my head doing the commercial
HumanBeingFromEarth 3 years ago
I’m furiously trying to tap the blue button trying to get him to send it:
#72
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago (edited)
Adele would like to come in apparently, she's freezing her cheeks and nips off luv
#74
#75
#76
#77
#78
Bacony Cakes 3 years ago
That's nothing. My brother can hold his breath underwater for 17 weeks.
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#79
CaptainDinosaur 3 years ago
A gimmicky broom/duster for cleaning the floor. They work great though.
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#80
Camilo Is best 3 years ago
I wanna work at a restaurant just so I could do that and freak everyone out
RandomX123 3 years ago
🎵Spongebob? Please, I know you're in there People are asking where you've been...🎵
#82
#85
sane potato (she/they) 2 years ago
"She's only for me and not for you" mf you don't own her ffs
#86
#87
Theoretical Empiricist 3 years ago
"So I said 'You obviously don't know what the hell you're talking about, you f*****g moron! A competent person teaching anti-bulling would be all over how words can be extremely damaging, even crippling! Where'd they find you - this scratch 'n' dent aisle at Psychs-R-Us? Oh, but I'm sure none of that hurt at all, 'cause they're just words.'"
#88
#89
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
Thank you for that, Greg. Can't stand your movie, though.
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#90
#91
#92
Joe Reaves 3 years ago
If his father has the kind of money that he could afford that bribe, then it's probably a bargain price compared to a divorce.
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Insert Generic Username 3 years ago
A Lotus Elise? Those are expensive, hard to find cars, at least in the US.
#93
#95
Donkey boi 3 years ago
I'm going to assume this is some pop-culture reference I'm not familiar with.
King Joffrey 3 years ago
'Damn, Daniel' is from a viral video and 'Bye Felisha' is from the movie Friday (and it then got picked up as a meme).
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#96
Kanuli 3 years ago
This might be fake? At least according to stereotypes a guy would never miss out the opportunity to land at anything that’s not fast enough to escape /s
Peter Korsten 3 years ago
Well, it's highly unlikely that Chris has Trish listed as "Chris". So that at least is fake.
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#98
Scarlett Storm 3 years ago
wtf it should be: hella cute hella fine wanna be my valentine? It works so much better this way
#99
#100
adiiantryx 3 years ago
this sounds oddly fake, nobody texts this and imagines this guy is supposedly doing strange stuff (like he could be giving anything i mean)
BasedWang 3 years ago (edited)
wrong. I had this happen..... but with a friends mom who was using his old phone.... Me and another friend were trying to acquire seeds, were already blasted and didn't believe it was actually his mom.... She stopped when I eventually said "Well s**t..... How have you been Mrs.****"
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Who Panda 420 3 years ago (edited)
When I said I got the stuff I meant our study hall papers yeah that's it
#101
#102
#103
#105
#106
#108
Abraham Marshall 3 years ago
My grandma thought it was honeycomb with the flies as bees flying around it and she sent it to everyone saying, "We are so busy around here!"
#109
BasedWang 3 years ago
R.I.P. Sweet Prince .... Picture relevance......it's me Beautiful-...68da6a.jpg 
Sleazy Weaver 3 years ago
like all the texts in this list, which are painfully fake & unfunny.
#110
#111
#112
Gold Medal? 🥇 🤞🤞 1 year ago
Excuse me? I’m 12. I’m not at ALL like this and neither is anyone I know that is my age. If anything it’s sad 17 year old that no one likes.
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What do you think ?
Who Panda 420 3 years ago (edited)
Yup once again I got downvoted into infinity for pointing one out.
Load More Replies... adiiantryx 3 years ago
the fact that they have consistent spelling mistakes and the weird naming convention tells us one thing: it's fake, and that's quite annoying. also they're texting as if they're roleplaying the whole situation
D K 3 years ago (edited)
The purest, non-fake one of these I’ve ever seen was about lightly fried fish fillets. Which is why it wasn’t featured on this list.
Sleazy Weaver 3 years ago
these really suck. they're clearly fake, riddled with typos (repetitive ones, further evidencing how fake it is because of course the same person will make the same mistakes), the contact names & sender/receiver are the wrong way around in several images (seriously?), many of them are rip-offs of cliche jokes, & none of these are funny except the first one. awful post, 0/10.
Magical Witch 2 months ago
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Lana Jones 8 months ago
They're all funny after No one gives a c**p if it's fake or not...nope don't give a poop! Just laugh!! Laugh Out Loud! They're all funny and that's all that matters. You boring dummies.
Who Panda 420 3 years ago (edited)
Yup once again I got downvoted into infinity for pointing one out.
Load More Replies... adiiantryx 3 years ago
the fact that they have consistent spelling mistakes and the weird naming convention tells us one thing: it's fake, and that's quite annoying. also they're texting as if they're roleplaying the whole situation
D K 3 years ago (edited)
The purest, non-fake one of these I’ve ever seen was about lightly fried fish fillets. Which is why it wasn’t featured on this list.
Sleazy Weaver 3 years ago
these really suck. they're clearly fake, riddled with typos (repetitive ones, further evidencing how fake it is because of course the same person will make the same mistakes), the contact names & sender/receiver are the wrong way around in several images (seriously?), many of them are rip-offs of cliche jokes, & none of these are funny except the first one. awful post, 0/10.
Magical Witch 2 months ago
Instant Death Spells - Black Magic Revenge Spells - Voodoo Revenge Spells Caster - Overnight Death Revenge Spell - Spell To die In Your Sleep - Voodoo Death Spells Black Magic Revenge Spells: Black magic revenge spells can be cast on your behalf to curse or hex someone or a*****e ex lover, voodoo revenge spells, hexes spells, powerful revenge spells & witchcraft revenge spells. Call/WhatsApp: +2348101104609 Email: lukaspellportal@yahoo.com Black Magic Tags: death-spells-caster, i-need-death-spells, i-need-instant-death-spells, instant-death-spells, magic-spells
Lana Jones 8 months ago
They're all funny after No one gives a c**p if it's fake or not...nope don't give a poop! Just laugh!! Laugh Out Loud! They're all funny and that's all that matters. You boring dummies.
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