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Autocorrect is excellent for those in a rush or after having their mani freshly done. However, sometimes it can become an actual pain in the buttocks. Just one "correction" can change the entire meaning of the message and turn your cheeks red. Or turn it into a funny text that will make the receiver crack a smile. And this happens so often that the internet is flooded with these hilarious autocorrect fails.
However, autocorrect is not always to blame. There are multiple occasions when funny text messages may occur. Perhaps you texted the wrong number about a personal issue and got unsolicited advice from a stranger or sent your sincere condolences with a "LOL" attached at the end of the message, thinking it stood for "lots of love. Nonetheless, these funny messages, or more like comical mishaps, are usually harmless and turn into a good dose of laughter for both the sender and receiver. Whether silly or very much out-of-nowhere, these funny text jokes can cheer us up and boost us with a daily dose of Vitamin D.
Below, we've compiled a list of the funniest texts and most comical text jokes we could find, ranging from autocorrect fails to acronyms used wrong. Have you ever received random funny texts from your pals or even strangers? Let us know! Speaking of texts, there must be a pal or someone you know whose birthday is coming up shortly. Make sure to check out our collection of funny birthday messages for a witty happy birthday wish!
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#1
A: Hey someone changed the name of all the contacts in my phone and I'm trying to figure out who everyone is.
B: What's my contact name?
A: Darth Vader, but who is this?
B: Luke... I'm your father.
A: Haha very funny. Now really who is this?
B: It's your father, Luke. I knew your name would entertain me one day.
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#2
The middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones.
She texted: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
#3
"The guy who invented auto-correct for smart phones passed away today. Restaurant in peace."
#4
"I saw a driver texting and driving. It made me so mad I threw my beer at him."
#5
"My Wife texted me a selfie in a new dress and asked: "Does this make my butt look big?" I texted back: "Noo!" My phone autocorrected my response to: "Moo!" Please send help!"
#6
Mom: What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean?
Son: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
Mom: Ok, I will ask your sister.
#7
Daughter: Dad there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door. Can you get rid of it?
Daughter: Please hurry, because I’m going to cry.
Daughter: Dad…
Daughter: Dad…
Dad: Dad is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth.
#8
Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOL.
Son: Why is that funny?
Mom: It’s not funny, David! What do you mean?
Son: Mom, LOL means Laughing Out Loud.
Mom: I thought it meant Lots of Love. I have to call everyone back.
#9
A: Mom wants you to call her.
B: Who is this.
A: Andrea.
B: Wrong number and you got me in an unnecessary 30 min conversation with my mother so thank you for that.
#10
A: I'm going to get a sandwich, be right back!
B: Ok.
B: The whole office is complaining, because I have tuna in my underwear.
A: Um. I can't exactly say I blame them.
B: I mean tuna in my tupperware.
A: I just laughed for 3 consecutive minutes.
#11
Matt: Hey Dr. Park, this is Matt from the Vascular lab. I have an outpatient here with an external iliac occlusion with cold foot pin and numbness that started 3 days ago. What should I do with her?
Hannah: Hi, this is Hannah. I think you have the wrong number, but I Googled it and I’m pretty sure u need to put a stent in her left radial artery. Best of luck, Matt!
Matt: Sorry, wrong number Hannah. She ended up actually getting a stent. Took about 3 hours longer for trained medical professionals to figure out what took you 3 minutes.
Hannah: Yoooo, yall hiring?
Detroit Citizen 2 years ago (edited)
Hey Hannah its Detroit Citizen, I have reoccurring shoulder pain. Everytime I use Dr Google to search for shoulder pain i end up with the bubonic plague, leprosy and it just gets worse. Please advise.... (For real tho some people mastery of google searching is amazing)
#12
A: I am hungary.
B: Maybe you should czech the fridge.
A: I'm russian to the kitchen.
B: Is there any turkey?
A: We have some, but it's covered in greece.
B: Ew, there's norway I'd eat that!
#13
Mom: Please stop changing the google logo so much.
Son: Mom i don't change the logo. Google changes it.
Mom: On my computer. You don't run the google?
Son: If I did I wouldn't be driving a 2004 ford.
#14
A: Yea what up daddy.
B: I'm eating your mother out tonight at 7 so you have to find your own dinner.
A: Not sure how to respond to that. Uh, have fun?
B: I'm not eating her out, I'm eating her out.
A: Oh that clears it up.
#15
"Between typos and autocorrect it's getting hard to post. One tiny mistake and your whole post is urined."
#16
A: Can I call you later? Gotta run. Taking kids to see Satan.
B: Wow. I know they've been a handful this year, but that seems kinda harsh.
A: Haha, Santa! I'm laughing so hard.
Remi (He/Him) 2 years ago
Satan: "Have you been good this year?" Kid: "Um, no" Satan: "Nice going have some supplies for grilling"
#17
A: How long till you get here?
B: God says 20 minutes.
A: I trust him.
A: Just in case though, what does GPS say?
B: I hate you...
#18
A: Whatcha up tonight?
B: Not much. Hanging out with my pterodactyl.
A: You have a dinosaur? Cool!
B: Lol. I meant my parents.
B: They are pretty old though. But they can't fly.
#19
Boy: Can’t wait to see you babe.
Girl: It’s Friday. I’m getting pregnant tonight!
Boy: Shouldn’t we talk first?
Girl: Oh my God! I wrote pringles and it autocorrected to pregnant.
Boy: I almost had a heart attack!
Duesvolent90 2 years ago
Plot twist: She's already pregnant, she's getting pickle flavored pringles...
#20
Boy 1: How was the date?
Boy 2: Not quite. First date we went to dinner and then I killed her in the woods outside her house and left.
Boy 1: Killing her seems a bit harsh.
Boy 2: Kissed.
#21
Daughter: I got an A in Chemistry.
Mom: WTF!
Daughter: Mom, what do you think WTF means?
Mom: Well That’s Fantastic.
#22
A: Come on down, dinner is ready.
B: Be there in a min, I'm doing Lauren.
A: Who is Lauren?! If she is your girlfriend, she can have some dinner too.
A: Dad! I meant laundry.
#23
A: Don't come home me and your mom are getting it on tonight.
B: Haha, gotta hate autocorrect right?
A: What do you mean?
B: You made a typo right... look at your last text.
A: No I did not make a typo.
#24
A: Hi Jan, are you coming to the meeting at 4?
B: I'll be there!
A: Great. Please meet me in my office at 3:30 so we can have a brief cunnilingus beforehand.
B: Excuse me?
A: I have no words. I typed conference and my phone changed it. I'm so sorry.
B: Wow.
#25
Boy: I miss you too.
Girl: Don’t think I’m weird, but I’m sleeping with that sh*t you left in the bathroom. It smells like you and it makes me feel better when you’re not here!
Boy: What?! If you’re trying to be cute or funny it’s not working.
Girl: Oh my God!!!! *Shirts*
#26
Two autocorrecting iPhones walk into a bear:
A: Bard*
B: BRA*
A: BOAR*
B: Jesus Christina Aguilera.
#27
Mom: How make chicken.
Daughter: What?
Mom: Where buy chicken.
Daughter: Mom, this isn’t Google.
Mom: Avocado.
#28
A: I feel like carp today.
B: Yeah, you look a little fishy.
#29
A: Did you finish loading the car up?
B: Almost. I ran out of space so I strapped your grandma to the roof. Cool?
B: Er, I mean guitar. Fail. Sorry.
A: Too bad. I'm sure grandma would have loved feeling the wind through her hair.
#30
"As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold... I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.”"
#31
"It’s ok if your phone autocorrects “F*ck” to “Duck”. You’re still using fowl language."
Jaden Alexander 2 years ago
For the longest time my phone would do this. Finally it stopped. One day I was texting someone about roasting a duck and it was corrected to f*ck.
#32
A: I left my dinner on the side too. Will you poo in the fridge when you get home?
B: Will I poo in the fridge???
A: Haha, pop it in the fridge!
#33
A: What time are you leaving in the morning? I need you to look at my crotch, I have a knot with a tail and two strands of yarn coming out of the same end, big mess...
B: Grandma? I think you meant crochet...
#35
"Dear Apple: please stop autocorrecting things like “he HAD gone camping” and “he HAS gone camping.” Spelling mistakes are one thing, but don’t assume you know what tents I wanted to use."
#36
"Thanks to autocorrect, 1 in 5 children will be getting a visit from Satan this Christmas."
Jaden Alexander 2 years ago
1 in 5 on the naughty list doesn't seem too bad. I would have thought that number to be higher.
#37
"I believe autocorrect was invented by history's most famous scientist. Albeit Einstein would disagree."
#39
Person 1: I dont like my life, I'm gonna do it.
Person 2: Don't.
Person 1: Don't try to stop me.
Person 2: I wasn't, I was correcting your spelling.
#40
A: My morning was bad... and the rest of the day. This Morning I choked a goat and pissed in my coffee.
B: Lol!!
A: Lol no... I chocked on toast and spilled my coffee...
