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No matter how smart or educated you (think you) are, you will make some mistakes and say something dumb at some point. We all have knowledge gaps, brain farts, and mess up from time to time! That being said, some verbal fails are far worse than others.
Internet user u/Far-Bumblebee-1756 sparked an interesting discussion on AskReddit after asking everyone to share the dumbest things that they’ve ever heard someone say to them. Hold on to your hats because the secondhand embarrassment is legendary. Scroll down for a good laugh and to lose a bit of your (remaining) faith in humanity.
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#1
An ex of mine was feeling frisky but I was on my period. He asked why I didn’t just push out all the blood so we could get busy. I said “…what?”
Him: “Just bear down and push it out like you do when you pee. Women can do that.”
Me: “…no, we can’t. That’s not a thing.”
Him: “If you can do it when you pee, you can do it to get rid of your period. Women just use it as an excuse not to have s*x.”
I was so stunned I asked him to leave and broke it off with him the next day. Unbelievable.
Snazzy Smurf 9 months ago (edited)
Too many people who have no idea regarding a woman's physiology like to act authoritative instead of listening and learning from those with a clue.
WindySwede 9 months ago
According to posts here on BP some women doesent even know the difference between an urethra and the vagina? But i really hope they are in minority?? And this is why wee need sexual education! (Manditory!) Pun intended..
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The Doom Song 9 months ago
Ladies.... wouldn't it be nice if we could just "control" out periods???? Also for the guys.... sometimes we are just so freaking sore down there we can barely touch ourselves let alone have sex.
char 9 months ago
you can still f**k me if you want; you're the one who has to deal with the blood all over you and all of tarnation
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Owen 9 months ago
D*ckhead. That's next level mansplaining. ' You might be a WOMAN, but I am MAN, so I know more about WOMEN things than you.'
CariBear 9 months ago
Basic anatomy, human physiology and sex education are SEVERELY lacking in many parts of the world (the U.S. being in the top 3 IMO)
Danish Susanne 9 months ago
If a woman he is with finds she need an excuse not to have sex it may have more to do with him than with her body.
Robert Beveridge 9 months ago
Put this together with the "I wish periods lated one hour' thing from a couple days ago and you get some REALLY amusing mental images (and I mean if they could wouldn't the special effects person on every gore film ever be a woman?)...
Ryan Bogdansky 9 months ago
how? how do you logically come up with this? "when you don't have a b***r, just push into it so you have a b***r"
RELATED:
#2
I am a veterinarian. My cousin is a child psychologist. Her literal words were "You just don't know what its like when your patient can't tell you what is wrong".
Howl's sleeping castle 9 months ago
Once my cat was screaming at my husband and I heard him replying 'i can't understand you. Learn to enunciate'
BossyCloud 9 months ago
I also say this all the time! But she often ignores me, so it's silly of me to think this would be different..
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#3
I had a friend who got pregnant young (16 ish), and she was sobbing because she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her around the time they conceived. She was afraid she was carrying another womans baby. That was an odd one to explain to her.
Snazzy Smurf 9 months ago
Bless her heart. This is why Biology and s*x education should be thoroughly taught in schools.
Khavrinen 9 months ago
Assuming you could get the idea of teaching real facts past all the people who vehemently believe that they only thing kids should ever know about s.e.x. is that it's a sin and if you even think about it you're going to Hell.
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Dar Mal 9 months ago
In America, they believe that Jesus said it's a sin to talk about sex to children (which means anyone under 18) because if you do, you're a groomer , or worse a ped*!
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BeKind&Rewind 9 months ago
Why are children having sex when they are so immature they don't know basic biology?
Cyndielouwhoo 9 months ago
Why are adults making laws about sex when they are so immature they don't know basic biology?
Load More Replies... Kendall 9 months ago
Ok so why is the pic following this one a older girl showing a younger girl what a period cup is?? BP is the dumb friend in this scenario.
Sheena Leversedge Wood 5 months ago
For a minute I thought the blue one was a huge cup 🤣 . Then I remembered some of them come with a collapsible container to sterilise it in
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Midnightoil 9 months ago
And this teen was having s@x??!! Where was she in school when they taught s@x education?? Or her parents??
Vasana Phong 9 months ago
Surprised she didn’t say something like “I don’t think the baby is mine “
Bi.Felicia 9 months ago
She kinda did say that, without saying those exact words. She thought there was a possibility that she was carrying another woman's baby, because her man was cheating.
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In this day and age, with so many people in developed and developing nations having access to the internet, it’s easier than ever to learn new things, brush up on the topics you’re fairly weak at, and stay up-to-date with the latest news. There are also lots of internet resources and courses—both paid and completely free—available online, alongside tutorials, how-to’s, and guides. In other words, increasing your knowledge is mostly a question of drive and motivation, not of access to information.
Statista reports that as of February 2025, there were a whopping 5.56 billion internet users worldwide. That’s over two-thirds of the global population (67.9%) that has access to the internet. Meanwhile, the vast majority of internet users are also social media users (5.24 billion out of 5.56 billion).
#4
After giving a coworker an aspirin after some time she came to me and said the medicine was useless the pain went away on its own.
Warren Peece 9 months ago
This one could be correct. Headaches have MANY possible causes - including some that won't be alleviated by administration of aspirin.
Sam 9 months ago
Yes, it's a mystery. If anyone can help, disabled guy here, constantly getting hacked. Have cognitive impairment from carbon monoxide poisoning, Can't fight them off. Minor stuff and silly stuff, like stopping my space bar from working but death threats too…and for years. Nearly died in ER a few months ago. Now with dangerously high blood pressure and PTSD…get harassed could literally push me into a fatal heart attack…and they won’t stop and no one does a thing to help…
Maartje 9 months ago (edited)
That is a difficult one, and I do not know your situation, location etc so I can only give general advice. You need help from a tech who knows computer security, who can diagnose your computer and phone and fix any vulnerabilities and malware ( a format is not a bad idea) a proper antivirus and firewall, password changes on everything, and change them monthly for now, change password on your modem/router or swap it out with your internet provider and NEVER leave the default password - I would consider abandoning email accounts and social media accounts and start fresh. This tech will need to educate you on what you should and should not do because I am quite sure that you are somehow vulnerable. Secondly, since it has been going on for years it sounds like someone is out to get you and I would notify the proper authorities in your country, this IS a crime. I have been out of it for too long but another option is to have a security analyst backtrack who
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#5
I was at a register and the cashier was flirting with me, he asked me where I’m from? and I said England, then he said ‘oh what language do they speak there? And I replied English, the guy behind me in the queue started busting out laughing.
Timbob 9 months ago
I was in line at a liquor store when the cashier ‘s phone rang. She picked it up and shouted, “Larry, guy wants to know if we got Budweiser in the camouflage cans.” I shouted back, “How would you know ?”
Michael Largey 9 months ago
"Private, I didn't see you at camouflage practice today." "Thanks, Sarge!"
Load More Replies... Howl's sleeping castle 9 months ago (edited)
Oh I have a story for you. Happened to a friend of a friend. Indian guy, dark skinned, was working in some middle eastern company. He and my friend went out to some fastfood resturant and were waiting in a queue. There was a guy behind them who had african features and was dark skinned too. The first guy started making fun of him in Hindi to my friend, saying words like 'kaalu' (someone who has dark complexion) The African guy turned around and said in Hindi 'haan! Tu bahut gora hai' (yeah! And you are too fair). This guy's jaw just dropped. Later they found out that this guy's mother was Indian and he had spent all his life in India.
lisa_l_ross58 9 months ago
I understand Hindi quite well. I am not of Indian ancestry. I have often surprised people with that if they are saying something nasty.
Load More Replies... Vasana Phong 9 months ago
We got a new supervisor, my coworker asked him how long he’s been in the country ( from England) he said 3 months, her response was “ oh wow your English is really good “
Mary Peace 9 months ago
I'm sorry about your BP, PTSD and everything, but this is really hard to read. I hope you get some help.
Load More Replies... #6
I was once asked by someone when they learned I was raised atheist "but, if you never read the Bible, what's preventing you to m*rder and r*pe people ? You must not know what is right and what is wrong !". They were genuinely amazed when I answered empathy, as if I've given them a truly goofy answer that somehow fits the bill.
Space Invader 9 months ago (edited)
Pick up a knife, look at it thoughtfully and mumble "You know, now that you mention it ..."
René Sauer 9 months ago
If you need a "holy" book and the supervision of an imaginary higher being to be a good person then I am more worried about you then the atheist.
Sky Render 9 months ago
I think I'm more concerned that the only thing keeping them from being that evil is a belief in their sky-daddy!
Blah Blah Blah 9 months ago
I say this FAR more often than I should have to. If you need a book and a god to tell you to be a nice person then you're not a nice person.
Bookworm 9 months ago (edited)
This. I'm Christian, but I try to be kind to others because it's the right thing to do, not because I'm afraid of some punishment if I don't do it. It's such a toddler mindset - 'I don't want to be nice to you but God says I have to!'
Load More Replies... Margaret Shannon 9 months ago
This. Which is the better person, the one who does right because of compassion, empathy, MERCY, or the one who does right because they fear eternal torture?
Jaya 9 months ago (edited)
We already have a great system for that: 1. No desire to m*rder or r*pe. 2. Empathy, realizing others don't deserve to be victimized by that. 3. Realizing that you don't wanna live in a society where r*pe and m*rder are okay, because you and your loved ones could become the victims too. 4. Social consequences, other people judging you for it or cutting off contact. And if none of these work: 4. Laws against r*pe and m*rder.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
Ask them to explain the Bible readers who murder and rape. History might provide the occasional example.
detective miller's hat 9 months ago
This is what happens when you don't teach your children critical thinking skills.
Bill Swallow 9 months ago
Penn Jillette, of Penn and Teller, has made a definitive statement on this. Everyone should memorize it and use it in situations like this: "The question I get asked by religious people all the time is, 'Without God, what's to stop me from raping all I want?' And my answer is, 'I do rape all I want. And the amount I want is Zero. And I do murder all I want, and the amount I want is Zero'. The fact that these people think that if they didn't have this person watching over them that they would go on killing, raping rampages is the most self-damning thing I can imagine." -- Penn Jillette, of 'Penn and Teller' Penn-Jille...b5f893.jpg 
FreeTheUnicorn 9 months ago
Can we get some sort of watchlist for people who admit they would rape and murder freely if it wasn't expressly forbidden by some authority? First crisis of faith and there will be a massacre.
Among the countries with the highest level of internet access, you’ll find Norway, the Netherlands, and Saudi Arabia. There, a jaw-dropping 99% of the population had internet access as of April 2024. On the complete opposite side of the scale is North Korea, with virtually no internet access among the general population.
Globally, Asia leads with the number of internet users (2.93 billion), followed by Europe (750 million users). Despite such widespread internet access, country income levels are, nonetheless, an essential factor. Around 93% of the population of high-income countries have access to the internet versus just 27% in low-income nations.
#7
I worked in a bank and someone was trying to cash a check for their grandfather who was “in the hospital”. I told him we couldn’t cash it without the grandfather there as the check was only made out to him and he picks up a dog and says “I have his permission to cash the check. See, this is his dog!” I was at a loss for words. I tried to keep a straight face while telling him that a dog was not a form of ID.
Danni 9 months ago
1. This is hilarious. 2. I feel like dogs should become forms of ID, the world would be %100 cuter if everyone picked up their dog and showed it to you for your approval.
WindySwede 9 months ago
Then It would developed into "No treats? No ID for you" 🙃
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Michael Largey 9 months ago (edited)
Then the dog took an oath to say the woof, the whole woof, and nothing but the woof.
Kim Shannon 9 months ago
I worked in a bank. I had a young man refuse to endorse the back of a check that was made out to him because, "My dad told me I don't have to." Dude, your dad paints houses and has nothing to do with this.
Panda'sMom 9 months ago
He can't CASH the check in his Grandfather's name (except POA) but he can DEPOSIT the check in Grandfather's account.
Sue Ellen Jensen 9 months ago
Many years ago while visiting my grandma she sent me into town to deposit her Socal Security check and get a little cash back. The teller looked at the check and deposit slip then nicely asked me "And who are you?" I replied I was one of Edna's granddaughters. She said "Oh, how is she? We heard she was in the hospital!" I said she was doing just fine then took the cash as she wished me a good day and asked me to tell Edna hello. Small town living in Iowa at its best.
Petra Schaap 9 months ago
i once picked up a parcel at the post office for my boyfriend. needed to be signed for, needed an ID, my railpass worked fine for them. (funfact i wasnt even supposed to be able to sign for it at all) yes this was in Belgium, and my railpass was Dutch.
#8
Someone asked me: "what do you do with your glasses at night? Isn't it difficult to sleep with glasses on?"
I told her I take my glasses off at night, and she seemed genuinely surprised that was an option. I'm surprised she didn't ask me if I can see my dreams without glasses on.
Robert T 9 months ago
The main problem I have when I take my glasses off, is that I need glasses to find my glasses!
Meagan Glaser 9 months ago
one of the little championed benefits of marriage is that there's often someone in the house to help find my glasses if I knock them off the stand
Load More Replies... Petra Schaap 9 months ago
i have no problem sleeping with glasses! Only problem is i cant find them on my bedside table next morning
#9
"If you don't agree with my political opinion you shouldn't be allowed to vote"
umm...what?
KDS 9 months ago (edited)
Don’t gang up on me but if a person can’t pass a U.S. Government test they shouldn’t be allowed to vote hell they shouldn’t be allowed to run if they can’t pass one. Think about it you have to pass a test to drive a vehicle, voting and running for public office should be the same way.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
I co-worker maintained that "Voting is a privilege, not a right." And how would she distribute that privilege to people? Well, let's say it wasn't by the color of their socks.
A good rule of thumb when you don’t know something is to admit to it and ask someone else to explain the topic to you. Either that or politely stay quiet. It’s basic humility. When you’re forced to suddenly have an opinion on something when you literally don’t know the first thing about the topic, you might come up with a stance that has barely anything to do with objective reality. Furthermore, you might end up sticking to that erroneous opinion even later when faced with facts.
What’s more, it’s arrogant to claim you know something that you don’t. It could be quite embarrassing when other people realize that you’ve been bluffing. So, honesty is the best policy. In the meantime, you can brush up on the topics you’re ignorant about by doing some basic research and cross-referencing reputable sources.
#10
"Cheeseburger without cheese, without pickles, without onions, without ketchup, without mustard"
"Okay, so a plain hamburger?"
"NO I F*****G SAID _____"
Told them they ordered a plain hamburger and they could save money. I was informed that I was, in fact, stupid as s**t and they ordered cheeseburger________
So they got rung up cheeseburger without these and I never tried to help someone out in fast food again.
Snazzy Smurf 9 months ago
Um....this happens way too often. If you are offered a way to legally save money, why not take it?
Michael Largey 9 months ago
At some restaurants, my wife has to order a cheeseburger without cheese because they do not offer a plain hamburger.
Kiss Army 9 months ago
This is true. I encounter it way too often. Also, sometimes ordering a cheeseburger without cheese is actually cheaper than a hamburger because the cheeseburger is the special but a hamburger is not... 5 for 5 at Wendy's, McValue Meal at McDonald's etc...
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Katie Wearing 9 months ago
The number of times I have had to order a cheeseburger without cheese is ridiculous as can’t order a hamburger (in England).. Genuinely was refused service few years back at a well known zoo as they only had cheeseburger on menu… requested they didn’t put cheese on an would pay the cost of cheeseburger… apparently that wasn’t possible?!?
Sam 9 months ago
didn't Michael Douglas make a movie about this? If anyone can help, disabled guy here, constantly getting hacked. Have cognitive impairment from carbon monoxide poisoning, Can't fight them off. Minor stuff and silly stuff, like stopping my space bar from working but death threats too…and for years. Nearly died in ER a few months ago. Now with dangerously high blood pressure and PTSD…get harassed could literally push me into a fatal heart attack…and they won’t stop and no one does a thing to help…
#11
I knew a girl in highschool who said she wanted to learn Spanish because "it's like English but a different language".
I think about this more often than I want to.
Justanotherpanda 9 months ago
Surely she meant that Spanish is a very universal language spoken by many people, like English. She just didn't articulate that very well.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
Or that English was heavily influenced by one of the Romance languages, French, and that Spanish is another romance language.
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Michael Largey 9 months ago (edited)
Yep, few people dare to put pineapple on broccoli.
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#12
"How can climate change be real when it's snowing?"
-US Congressman.
Snorkeldorf 9 months ago
The term global warming confused that congressman. It should've been called "Frightening, unnatural, climate kiss-of-death." Or, F.*.C.K.'d for short.
Jay Scales 9 months ago
I feel they shot themselves in the foot by calling it 'Global Warming' at first..... Much of the world thinks that's an excellent idea. I have an educated friend who, years ago, said: 'I like the sound of that - The UK could benefit from warming up'. If they'd have called it 'Volatile Weather Phenomenon' or some such, people would've got the message better.
Panda McPandaface 9 months ago
You're right I think. Unfortunately many people can't follow the process in their heads - I don't entirely blame them, but the phrase 'global warming' has harmed knowledge in the long term.
Load More Replies... Verena 9 months ago
The general problem is that people think climate change means it is getting hotter. No. Climate change means that the climate changes from occasional rain in spring to weeks of monsoon pouring down on a landscape not used to it. It means the Gulf Stream transporting less warmth to Europe, so the winters get colder. It means something going on in the atmosphere causing snow bombs. And it can cause weeks of scorching hot weather with zero rain.
David 9 months ago
This isnt a actual quote, it was from a Onion article. However we did have a congressman who though the Island of Guam would capsize from having so many people on it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjUpEbCgp9A . On the other hand, considering he called Jews "termites" and other comments, I would take him being dumb over a antisemitic pos. I mean between Johnson on the Democrats side and MTG on the GOP side, what is with Georgia?
nicholas nolan 9 months ago
I mean Jim Inhofe did bring that snowball onto the floor of the senate as "proof" of climate change being fake.
Load More Replies... Regina Holt 9 months ago
All of these politicians in DC are just so far in denial, I hope their great grandchildren look back at them and shake their head in shame.
Margaret Shannon 9 months ago
Actually, since heat is energy, global warming will lead to greater volatility in weather. I mean, snow in Florida!
Cristina Alves Moreira 5 months ago
They don't know the difference between climate and weather
Laura Mitchell 9 months ago
When there are six inches of snow in PENSACOLA, FLORIDA, it's climate change, you dufus!
What are the dumbest things you’ve ever heard someone say to you, dear Pandas? How did you react and what was the first thing that went through your mind?
On the other hand, what’s the silliest, most derpy, ignorant thing you’ve (accidentally) let slip? What knowledge and skills do you think everyone should have? Let us know what you think in the comments!
#13
Maybe not the dumbest, but it’s up there. I had this ultra catholic coworker. I myself was raised catholic, but I rarely go to church and don’t consider myself very religious. A couple of years ago, a cousin of mine with special needs fell very ill and was in the hospital. My naive a*s told said catholic coworker, so she could keep him in her prayers, I said to her “he doesn’t deserve to suffer, he’s just an innocent child” to which she replied “Jesus didn’t deserve to suffer in the cross either” with this smirk on her face. My jaw dropped on the floor. I’ve f*****g hated her ever since.
Thankfully my cousin recovered and is doing well.
Deta Rossiter 9 months ago
i have a friend that said to me, people who start any conversation with "I AM A CHRISTIAN", are politely shown the door
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David 9 months ago
while I am Jewish, I literally thought Jesus suffering was necessary as a key theological element in Christianity, and he chose it?
Dar Mal 9 months ago
Uber-Christian secretary told me when I was upset my dog suddenly died the previous afternoon: "I don't see why you're upset--dogs don't have souls."
nicholas nolan 9 months ago
A Catholic woman would have the Rosary out of her purse working on her third Ave Maria by the time you got out "keep him in y-". This lady is just an a*****e.
Meagan Glaser 9 months ago
Right?!?! Asking a devoted catholic to pray for someone is like telling an italian grandmother you're hungry, this is the action they LIVE for
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 9 months ago
Jesus had some choice about it. His Dad had a certain amount of influence, reportedly.
UKGrandad 9 months ago
Not really, no. It was God sacrificing himself to himself for the sins that humans wouldn't have committed had God not created sin.
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SmooshieFries 9 months ago
Had something similar happen- whenever I see this hag, ugh, I just wanna slap her upside her stupid head
Bec 9 months ago
Some holier than thou types believe any illness or misfortune must be due to that person's sins. Far from Jesus-like teachings. Mother Theresa didn't care to actually spend $ on treating people either, her mission was only to convert them to Christianity so they'd get to heaven
Load More Replies... Sam 9 months ago
my wife works for a major Catholic University. Contrary to popular belief, not a festival of pedophilia. And the priests and nuns are, in the real world, actual super cool and nice people, who spend their entire time helping other folks. Very different from the popular spin in the media. And by super cool, I definitely mean very very tolerant. Not joking, the school's radio station is mostly metal and it is one of the top college radio stations in the country. And the school is proud of them.
Ruth Kilpatrick 5 months ago (edited)
Like the Senator, who after being told people would dxe without Medicaid, said, "We're all going to dxe."
#14
A woman asked me if I was ___ (I don't remember the name) and I said no.
She said oh you look like him. He was a Buddhist monk i met when I was traveling, but he died.
*but he died*
Yeah that's me, the dead guy... she wasn't joking lol.
Pink kitty 9 months ago
When I was at school there was a girl in my class called Amanda. A new teacher upon discovering the girl's name was Amanda asked her if she had a sister called Amanda. The girl straight away replied sarcastically "yeah, my mother liked the name so much she called both of us Amanda"
Christine Willis 5 months ago (edited)
She's probably too young to have heard of George Foreman's kids...
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#15
Once I had a friend who bet me $20 that a stop sign had six sides. Then three months later we were reminiscing and he remembered it wrong, bet another $20 that a stop sign had six sides, and lost again.
Patrick H 9 months ago (edited)
Well, they do have six sides. Any shape with a total of six sides or more has six sides, that includes octagons. 🤪
Danish Susanne 9 months ago
If you are to nit pick it has 10 sides 8 edges and front and back!
Load More Replies... Kristin 7 months ago
When i was in hight school, I had a friend over and my dad who is very sarcastic and all around funny guy tell her, did you know that if you come to a stop sign and it has a white boarder then you have the opportunity to make the decision if you'd like to stop or not? With a serious face and to make matters funnier Is she passed that information on to friends at school lmao 🤣 🤦♀️🤦♀️
#16
I once got accepted for a job (US Army!) that required paper docs in triplicate to be submitted for Direct Deposit.
I emailed back one .pdf file of the document.
HR demanded I send 2 more .pdf copies.
Roshan Kassan 9 months ago
Thx, i snort laughed at this and now my cat is looking at me funnily
#17
Was reading the Diary of Anne Frank in middle school, aloud as a class over the course of a few weeks. When we got to the part where they celebrate Hanukkah, one of my classmates blurted out, "Wait, are they Jewish?".
Nosirrow 9 months ago
My classmate wrote that the Germans made sth out of nothing bc human remains are nothing and soap is sth. She was 19. The teacher read that out loud and looked so defeated by this stupidity.
Alistair .Brownlee 9 months ago
No they're just hiding from Hitler while he counts to 100... very slowly.
Ellinor 9 months ago
Maybe because WW2 is a HUGE aspect of History, and even RECENT history since it happened less that 100 years ago ? And that the ones who forget History are doomed to repeat it and it's exactly what's happening in the USA right NOW ???
Load More Replies... #18
I wasn't born in England, but that was where I was living when I learned to talk and until age 13.
So, here I am, an American, living in Texas, from Texas, with a British accent.
Which of course, requires explaining why I have the accent to EVERYONE I met from the age of 13 through the age of 35—when it finally faded away...mostly...it comes and goes here and there.
So, I was 23 years old, in college, and working as a delivery driver. I explained why I had the accent to my coworkers, because a guy who was born in Texas, living most of his life in Texas, having a British accent requires explaining your backstory to everyone you work with.
While standing in a Pizza Hut in the middle of Texas, a coworker asks, 'Can you say something in English?'.
I asked what he meant, and he said, 'Oh, that's right, you said it's a British accent. So can you say something in British?'.
Snazzy Smurf 9 months ago
This happens more than it should when it comes to various other English speaking countries.
Ian Cummings 6 months ago
Not other English speaking countries, just the USA
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Sophia Pandia de Delphia 9 months ago
Currently live in Texas. Yes. In "Sweet Home Alabama", Reese Witherspoon's character noted you should have to have a passport to visit Alabama. The same can be said about Texas but up a few degrees. I lived in Georgia (I'm from GA) for almost 30 years and have now been in Texas another 15ish. So emphatically yes.
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David Sallis 9 months ago
Him: "Can you say something in British?" You: “Whan that Aprill with his shoures soote The droghte of March hath perced to the roote, And bathed every veyne in switch licour Of which vertu engendred is the flour..."
Roshan Kassan 9 months ago
In south african and of indian heritage. Just about every person asks if i can speak 'indian'. i only understand the swear words.....
IndoorForest 9 months ago
Ha! I had the opposite. Born British, raised in the states ( Texas and California), moved back to UK and everyone's telling me to say 'radiator' and 'alligator'. Mostly gone but still slips out when I'm tired/angry/tipsy
#19
In an office that was low on paper: “Just put a blank page in the copier and make more.”.
Karl der Große 9 months ago
We used to just call another office and have them fax over a ream of paper. Those machines were so convenient.
#20
Years ago when I was on dating apps, a guy wanted to hook up and I declined. Then he told me I was a wh-re because I was gonna die a virgin.
A for effort? Jk! That is my favorite “insult” I have received to this day!
CrunChewy McSandybutt 9 months ago
It's interesting how they call us whóres after we refuse to have séx.
Shelby Moonheart 9 months ago
My first name starts with V. In 6th grade, I was called "V the virgin" (Like it was a bad thing for an 11-year-old not to have had sex). I went by my middle name the next year at a new school.
airidaskvedaras1993 5 months ago (edited)
That's an interesting contradiction, when you think about what kind of person can be called a wh-re and what kind you need to be to die a virgin :D
Esmeralda Villalobos 9 months ago
I was talking to a guy who happened to be Hispanic,on a dating app. It was our first day of chatting and he kept wanting me to come to his house, and I kept saying is like to chat more before meeting in person, in public. He them proceeded to call me racist (white woman here) and the best thing was when he called me a pale w h o r e :D
Justanotherpanda 9 months ago
The mysterious place where the hymen lies...
Load More Replies... #21
After my hair grew back after chemo my mom told me never to cut my hair like that again because I look like a boy 🤦♀️.
Upstaged75 9 months ago
All you're doing is drawing attention to the comment when you announce this. Please don't. Just downvote and report. No need to be a martyr.
Load More Replies... Nosirrow 9 months ago
Mothers can be the cruelest people. I have a double uterus which means infertility and very painful periods. Mother laughed and compared that to a neighbour with undescended testicle and another one with three kidneys. She died alone in hospice.
lisa_l_ross58 9 months ago
My cousin had a double uterus and was able to give birth to a healthy baby. Doctors were amazed.
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Brittania Kelli 9 months ago
I was getting my hair trimmed before my wedding, which was six months after finishing chemo and the girl asked why had I cut my hair so short before the wedding. Because it makes it easier to deal with it falling out if there's less of it to fall out.
Robert T 9 months ago
When my hair first came back after chemo it was blonde and like baby hair. It gradually came back thicker and darker, but the tips were still blonde until it was cut. My eyebrows still have some blonde ends as they grow so slowly.
Polly Fukuhara 9 months ago
I had a friend whose hair had gone grey. She got cancer, and, of course the treatment made her hair fall out. When it grew back, it was black.
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Eevi 9 months ago
I got into an accident with a truck last week, but thanks to the reflexes, we all survived without a scratch, and the car just lost its left mirror. When I told my mom about what was happening, he casually said: "Okay, I message to your brother and tell they that you drove to ditch." I was like??? That's what you got from this? I drove to ditch because a feckin truck was in my lane and hit us! Moms are the worst sometimes.
2rc7jxyxbp 9 months ago
Just hoping it was to cover her stress, cause it's too sad it at fave value.
#22
I was working retail and counting down my drawer (making sure the cash total was correct with the receipts). I came across an unbelievably shiny penny. Someone had either just gotten it from the bank or, perhaps more likely, broken it out of a set because they realized a penny is never going to be worth more than a penny in their lifetime. Anyway, I held it up to my assistant manager and remarked:
Wow. What a shiny penny.
She replied:
Oh my God! Do you think it's counterfeit?!
. . . why would anyone ever go to the trouble and expense of counterfeiting a penny? At most, for all of your labors, efforts, and investments you've got . . . a penny.
Rinso The Red 9 months ago
I remember the story of a counterfeiter that would only do dollar bills, and those badly. But he managed to use them because no one checks dollar bills, just $20 and up
John Dilligaf 9 months ago
I do remember as a kid reading in a history of the Secret Service where they busted some guy counterfeiting $1.00 bills. Granted it was in the 1950s, but it would be about the same as $10 today. Hardly worth the effort.
Verena 9 months ago
The NL abandoned 1 and 2 cents ages ago. The smallest coin is 5 cent. However, the supermarkets do have prices that end on ...,99 or ...,98.
WindySwede 9 months ago
The lowest here is 1 SEK, about 10 eurocent. But been years since really used any cash.
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Alistair .Brownlee 9 months ago
Uh... because usually when counterfeiting you make more than the one thing you are counterfeiting... and the smaller denominations are easier to circulate because they aren't scrutinized as much as large bank notes. No one is going to hold up a penny to a UV light or weigh it in the middle of a store. The fact that it was in the drawer in the fist place just proves that.
WubiDubi 9 months ago
Some currencies (probably not US anymore) have more value in the metal content than face value. It's just the fact it's illegal to melt them down holding some people back.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
The US penny costs more than a penny to make.
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#23
"Food is so expensive. Why do we even need farmers?".
WindySwede 9 months ago
"There is food in the store...!" 🤦♂️ heard that one time, but could not really tell if serious, a woupsie, or a genuine thought.
Orange Panda 9 months ago
I actually read somone saying that last year. They were serious.
Load More Replies... Robert T 9 months ago
Have Muskrat and Trouser-Trump not sacked them all yet? It could save the country trillions!
Tamra 9 months ago
They haven't sacked them directly, but the wholesale cutting of so many federal programs and funding is seriously going to hurt them. Which will hurt everyone.
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Panda'sMom 9 months ago
There are more than enough people who don't know where food actually comes from!
Roshan Kassan 9 months ago
in the early 2000's, SOME school kids were asked where milk came from and a LOT of them said the fridge at the store.
Crystalwitch60 9 months ago
Erm if us farmers did not exist lol townie twat clearly !, you wouldn’t be alive oh boy people def worry me
#24
"you're not a real mom if you're only going to have two kids" I was told by my mother in law a day after popping out my second child in less than a year and a half.... A woman who didn't raise any of her 6 kids and left them to man who was not even biologically father to half of them 😀.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 9 months ago
If you wouldn't take their advice, don't take their judgment.
Irish Rain 9 months ago
I have had that experience in reference to my adopted children. "You can never understand the joy of actually having your OWN kids."
Crystalwitch60 9 months ago
Oh boy I’m 60 lol two kids 23-20 I bought em up myself one father am I not a mother then oops sorry I miscarried badly the other two at 43-45 my god do not let us mothers near yours !!
#25
'Do you have internet over there?' I was in a chatroom (2004..) talking with a 20+ yo canadian man.
Corvus 9 months ago
Still better than "Do you have electricity?" No, this computer is powered by love and wishful thinking :)
Bryn 9 months ago
I got asked if I still rode a cow to school (I was living in the western US at the time in a rural town). And while I have ridden a cow (tip: don't ride milk cows, they're bony. If you gonna ride a cow, ride a beef cow), I drove to school
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Sven Horlemann 9 months ago
In the early 2000's my wife was working for an American mother company, and her contact over there could not believe we have running water and electricity. Everywhere. We live in Germany.
Crystalwitch60 9 months ago
No we don’t I’m talking to us in a sat phone from outta space der !!
Cara Snearly 9 months ago
Canadian - hooray!!! I really expected it to be another American so appreciate the pass on this one hahaha
Margaret Shannon 9 months ago
Context might make this one a *little* less stupid. I asked a German friend about enclosed shopping malls in Germany. No, I don’t think Germany is backward. I just had the impression the weather was generally very nice so it didn’t make sense to enclose all the shops.
Panda McPandaface 9 months ago
Why have enclosed shopping malls in Florida? The weather is generally very nice.
Load More Replies... #26
Told my boss(after 3 years chasing a raise) that I either needed to be paid better or I was going to leave. He replied, "If you're just going to leave, why should we give you a raise?"
Also had a customer who thought filling one tire would somehow distribute air to all four.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
Boss really meant "If you insist on being paid fairly, why should we keep you around?"
Mark Hastings 9 months ago
I was laid off from a big airplane company and got a job that paid much less. About 10 months later I was rehired at the airplane company. Told my manager I was going to quit and why. He offered a $1 an hour more to stay, I told him I was going to be making $13 an hour more. He call me a liar so I walked out. A month later I stopped by and showed him my first paystub. I was actually making $17 an hour more and that was $10 an hour more than he made. He tried to get a job at the airplane company but couldn't pass the d**g test.
Mary Peace 9 months ago
"You don't need to put much air in the tires, they're only flat at the bottom!"
Earonn - 9 months ago
That's sth I really don't understand: companies want to save money, so instead of paying a few hundred or thousand to keep a good worker, they let them go (because that's what the good ones do in the end). So then they have to pay to find another one, possibly offer a bit more, if they're lucky they get someone as clever, but still have to train them and wait a few years for the new guy to get really experienced. And then the new guy wants more money and leaves if they don't pay it. So they get suboptimal work plus the costs of finding and training someone, which costs way more. Can someone explain that to me, please?
Khavrinen 9 months ago
The short answer is many people can't emotionally grasp the difference between short-term and long-term costs, so they will jump at an option that saves them $100 today, even if it costs them $10/month for the next two years. Because $10 is less than $100, so they *feel* like they're "saving money".
Load More Replies... Pink kitty 9 months ago
If you haven't had a raise in 3 years they have no intention of giving you one
#27
I’m from England and moved to America. Someone once said my English is really good and asked what they speak in England.
Pferdchen 9 months ago
Just so you know, we Americans sometimes say that to people from the UK and Australia just to see their reaction 😀
Roland Nijveld 9 months ago
So you just do it to make yourself look like a tool and confirm the "all Americans are dumb" stereotype.
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#28
My coworker told me, "No one ever died of cancer until seedless watermelons were invented.".
Laura Mitchell 9 months ago
Right up there with drinking Mountain Dew decreases sperm count. Spoiler alert: It doesn't.
Load More Replies... Sky Render 9 months ago (edited)
Someone better exhume Theodora, wife of Justinian I, and let her know that she broke the rules by dying of cancer almost 1500 years too early!
Karl der Große 9 months ago
This is true. Seedless watermelons were developed in 1939. There is nobody alive today who died of cancer before 1939. I guarantee it.
BeKind&Rewind 9 months ago
I will admit that watermelons these days are not even CLOSE to how good they were before GMO or whatever. I miss them.
Dave Platt 9 months ago
If you have room to grow them, look for some older "open pollinated" heirloom varieties... often much tastier. The same is true for tomatoes.
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Nosirrow 9 months ago
Hitler's mother died of cancer. He thought he would get cancer too, so he wanted to achieve as much as possible and invaded the USSR.
Regina Holt 9 months ago
Hitler invaded a lot of European countries before USSR, Soviet Union and Germany were allies at beginning of war, but then Hitler didn't like the communist ideas, so he then invaded.
Load More Replies... MushroomHead22 9 months ago
ok, but like has anyone actually done any research on this? maybe that guys is on to something...
#29
Not directly to me, but overheard my former stepdad telling his daughter that phone cases really weren't necessary, you just shouldn't ever drop your phone. It's like saying you don't need airbags, just don't get into an accident.
Sofie Andersson 9 months ago
My husband didn´t have a case because he said he never dropped his phone. And he didn´t, until he did. Now it has a crack. And by the way, he is a rocket scientist.
Karl der Große 9 months ago
A lot of people will still tell you that it's safer to drive without a seatbelt because it will keep you from getting away if you are in an accident.
Bookworm 9 months ago
Oh, they'll get away, all right. Right through the windshield.
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Geoffrey Scott 9 months ago
Like a former coworker who said " It'll just break anyway" when I suggested he get a screen saver on his phone. (His work phone, purchased by the school, was absolutely cracked beyond belief)
Crystalwitch60 9 months ago
And just how name phones has said idiot step dad dropped then hmmm 😂😂🤔🤔
#30
I emailed a receptionist 'a label to print out and attach to the box to return it'.
She called me because no glue was on the back when she printed it...
When I suggested tape, she was so grateful.
SmooshieFries 9 months ago
…sigh, it’s sad but true, but once in a while, I moments like this- then I laugh at myself till I pee and wonder, “ Should I go get tested for early Alzheimers?”
KittyGaming 9 months ago
Yeah if you want to print something directly on stickey paper you have to buy sticker/label paper because it's made for those reasons
KittyGaming 9 months ago
Also edit: a quick tutorial to make custom stickers get some clear packing tape, print whatever you want on regular paper and cut it out, get some wax paper and put the cutouts on the wax paper, then tape it on with a ton of tape on the edge, cut it out again leaving a tape outline, peel back the wax paper and boom sticker
Load More Replies... #31
I don't know about whether it's the dumbest but it's one that lives rent free in my head. I live in a coastal city. We have a beautiful harbour walkway with a cruise-ship terminal near by. I was sitting on a bench having a coffee near the boat docks when a couple of tourists from a cruise-ship sat down and asked me how far about sea level the city was.
I kind of paused for a moment and looked at the water and said probably about 1 to 2 feet. They were super offended by my answer and called me a smart a*s. Went on about how if I didn't know the answer, I should just say so.
These people who got off an ocean cruise at a port city thought I was putting them on when I said we were one or two feet about sea level while sitting on a bench looking out at the ocean. I don't know why but that interaction has always stuck in my head.
les 9 months ago
i got asked by cruise passengers when the fog was going to clear. i told them 9am when we turn the windmills on and they were happy, lol
Jan Peters 9 months ago (edited)
Actually, the tides can vary a lot around the mean sea level (depending where you are). Depending where you are it can be interesting to know the MSL in a port city. But it would probably be smarter to ask if you are at high tide and how different low tide is.
Isabel Galvez 9 months ago
I was asked "the name of the fish in that water". While at a café at the Atlantic Ocean.
Cyndielouwhoo 9 months ago
George, his name is George... and that other one is Gracie.
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Angela Corvaia 9 months ago
HA, reminds me of my husband during a road trip from Colorado to Washington State. As we were nearing the coast I mentioned how awesome it was to go from 14,000 ft to sea level in 24 hours. It took him awhile to be convinced that as we WERE LOOKING at the Pacific, we were indeed at sea level. I still don't let him live it down now that we live in Florida, on the water!
SaraCapybara 9 months ago
I had a co-worker complain that the elevation was giving him headaches and he had some sort of altitude problem. We were in San Francisco. .
#32
I was talking to a coworker on a road crew about the university degree I was doing and what I could do with it (majored in religion, international studies, and Spanish). He asked “oh do you want to become a pope?” I am a woman. And not Catholic. When I pointed that out he said “oh you could become First Lady!”.
Bill Swallow 9 months ago
There are far worse curricula for a possible First Lady. Or President.
Lyoness 9 months ago
What's irritating to me here is that they suggested First Lady instead of President. Because, you know, you need a p*nis to run a country.
For All Pedernity 9 months ago
I think the person meant First Lady to the Pope...
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Cindy Brick 9 months ago
Well, there is some evidence that there was a woman pope -- Pope Joan. Though people still argue about it. (She was pretending to be a man.)
Judes 9 months ago
The pope doesn't have a wife. He's a Catholic priest and Catholic priests cannot marry.
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quentariel 9 months ago
Sounds a bit like a one poorly made study leaflet I read wirh my friend before applying to universities. My friend wanted to study municipal politics, and only example of future career given was city mayor. The only difference is that technically it isn't impossible to become that, just really really unlikely.
Lene 9 months ago
I studied religion as well. And history. I've been asked so, so many times if I'm gonna be a priest. No, dum-bass, I did not study theology. I studied all religions (give or take. Lol) and if you absolutely must know I am not Christian. I am not even monotheistic. How on earth should I ever become a priest!?!? (Sorry... it's just really frustrating.)
MushroomHead22 9 months ago
hey, at least he didn't think the pope should only be a man, he might be stupid but he's got your back.
Nice Beast Ludo 9 months ago
Even if you were male and Catholic this would be an extremely stupid statement
#33
How did you catch diabetes.
BeKind&Rewind 9 months ago
My dad was afraid my sister would get breast cancer from her babysitter ;)
#34
Why do they put the deer crossing signs on such a busy road. Why can't the deer cross on like back roads.
Donna Peluda 9 months ago
Truth is, it all very well putting signs up bit WTF am I going to do if a wild animal jumps Infront of my car. Same with the falling boulders sign.
MushroomHead22 9 months ago
have you ever been outside? why can't humans cross at the crosswalk? cause signs can't tell animals what to do.
Lori Stroud 9 months ago
While on a road trip and seeing a deer crossing sign, my friend asked how the deer know where to cross? Yes, she was stoned.
#35
A former friend was once telling me that her sister was having a cake made for her daughter’s birthday by a bakist. I didn’t know what she meant so made a face, she said “you know, like a bakist or a bakerist”.
She meant a baker. So close.
Howl's sleeping castle 9 months ago (edited)
Has happened to me. Instead of 'organ donor' I kept saying random words like organ donist, donator and such nonsense. Not that I didn't know, I was just not able to recall it
Bill Swallow 9 months ago
Technically, this is known as a "brain fart". Happens to everyone from time to time, the trick is to not exceed your quota.
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ADDchallengedINFP-T 9 months ago
How come you didn't catch that, bakist, clearly means baker. They were making a cake. Usually baking the cake by a baker. bakist is close enough, if you have imagination
Irish Rain 9 months ago
Bakist ACTUALLY, this one ain't as dumb as it sounds. ::::: Urban Dictionary https://www.urbandictionary.com › define › term=Bakist a self taught baker, someone who bakes outside the traditional methods of baking. I like the interesting items that bakist makes.
#36
A coworker once said that hitting your head made you smarter because your brain cells would get closer together. I asked what he thought that meant about people with TBIs from accidents, and he insisted, repeatedly, that they were the smartest people..like ever.
He was certain that people in comas from brain injuries would wake up 20x smarter.
So. Yeah. Brain injuries make geniuses.
Space Invader 9 months ago
He probably hit his head repeatedly to become smart enough to reach that conclusion.
Bandana Waddle Dee 9 months ago
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Load More Replies... Lady Eowyn 9 months ago
If that was true I'd be smarter than Einstein now instead of matching the right face to the right name.
Midoribird Aoi 9 months ago
My Mom was in a coma for six months and has complete retrograde amnesia from when she was sixteen. She started over from scratch. I would say she is a pretty smart 🤓 lady.
Panda'sMom 9 months ago
As someone who "caught" a TBI (military) I can verify it makes us smarter. Yep (s/c)
#37
I was 17 and in highschool. A classmate asks me when colour was invented. She thought that old movies were proof that everything used to be black and white.
On a school trip to a farm, same classmate also thought that the cows were born either large or mini. I had to explain to her that the tiny cows we saw were babies that would grow into larger cows.
Paul C. 9 months ago
Get them to watch Pleasantville, that will confuse them. Good film though.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
If I recall correctly, it happened about a quarter way through "The Wizard of Oz".
#38
My ex’s mom came for supper for the first time to my house, I am a widow and she was asking questions about my late husband. She asked about the funeral (she’s a harmless sweet lady, didn’t really pick up on social cues but I did love her.) I mentioned he had been cremated and that his ashes and our cat’s ashes were in a cabinet. She walked over to the cabinet, looked at both urns -one decorated with cat paws and considerably smaller- and said
“Which one is your husband?”.
#39
1. "Wow, you've been to Europe? I've been to Germany, is that close to Europe?"
.
2. "My friend says I shouldn't answer this guy from Nigeria that needs financial help, that it's fake, but I think it might be true."
.
3. "I can't believe you think we really went to the Moon. You know they faked that, right?"
.
4. "if evolution is real then why do we still have monkeys?"
.
5. "I'm not getting the flu shot because I don't want to get the flu."
.
6. "COVID is just a hoax. I'm not getting no vaccine. They got microchips in them so the government can track you."
.
7. "Take the strip out of all your money. That's how the government knows how much money you got. They got scanners that check for them and they can count the money you got on you."
.
8. "What are you going to do to prepare for Y2K? You better fill your bath tub so you have drinking water, and stock up on food!".
Howl's sleeping castle 9 months ago (edited)
My cousin was very vocal about how covid is a hoax and refused to get the vaccine. Then she got it. She is alive but noone bothers discussing politics or anything serious for that matter with her anymore
Sven Horlemann 9 months ago
You mean, the cousin was faking being sick with Covid? Which is not possible, as it is not a thing?
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Kathy Brooke 9 months ago
As regards the Y2K, a lot of people worked their bloody socks off so we could look back and laugh at how insignificant it was. It would have messed up a lot if vital infrastructure if they hadn't.
AnSi Bae 9 months ago
Like the ozon layer. What an overreaction, it just fixed itself. Right?
Load More Replies... Sophia Pandia de Delphia 9 months ago (edited)
Confession: To be honest, we did fill up our bathtub with water just in case and made our weekly grocery run a bit early. No additional stocking up. We stayed up for the countdown just to watch the news to see if the world was in chaos and set on fire. Easily the most disappointing NYE countdown in my life.
KittyGaming 9 months ago
About the evolution one, there are two types, the one many people first think of isn't true where we can go from fish to monkey to human (idk the full list) but animals have evolved before, best example is giraffes, their necks grew longer to better able reach the leafs on the tall trees, for most of my life I didn't know and I live in a Christian household so I hated when people talked about evolution (unless it was Pokemon) but now that I'm older I know the difference
Lady Eowyn 9 months ago
Giraffes didn't grow their necks longer to be able to reach the leaves, the ones with naturally occurring longer necks survived long enough to reproduce. The first is called Lamarkian evolution.
Load More Replies... BeKind&Rewind 9 months ago
Y2K!!! Boy was that a scary time! We really had no idea what would happen when the clocks rolled over. Nothing happened, but we had gallons of water and canned food stored up.
Geoffrey Scott 9 months ago
My relatively intelligent BIL told me the Covid vax, is not a vax as it does not prevent Covid like MMR/Polio vaxes do.
Natalie Jezard-Clarke 6 months ago
It does but in a different way.... I think relative is the key word here
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#40
I recalled been asked by a friend back at high school if the moon was the reflection of the sun in the ocean. It took me like forever to process what the heck I was just asked. I didn’t even know how to respond 😂.
Captive 9 months ago
Fun fact, there is a Turkish word for the reflection of the moon on water: Yakamoz
Panda McPandaface 9 months ago
I love the fact that different languages have words for concepts and ethereal stuff that simply don't exist in English.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 9 months ago
Well, we see the moon because it reflects the sun. So she was on the right path.
Jennifer Crompton 9 months ago
My aunt lived several states away when I was in high school. On a visit, she asked me if the moon where she lived is the same moon where I live 😳
Chris Robertson 9 months ago
The path of the moon's reflection on water is called a 'moonglade.'
Meagan Glaser 9 months ago
Were they a Fundie? They teach their kids about the Firmament, the sky-sea that surrounds earth. Because science is bad so they invented a magic alternative to the atmosphere
#41
Was watching Addams Family Values with my parents a few years ago. One of the characters mentioned rabies vaccinations for the baby. I asked if rabies vaccines were really a thing. My dad’s answer: “humans can’t get rabies.”
I sent him a TEDTalk video on rabies after that lol
Edit: I meant rabies vaccines for humans.
Verena 9 months ago
What is a TEDTalk? I have heard that term often, but googling it does not result in a good explanation.
MoBeLa 9 months ago
It’s where super-smart experts give lectures on “Technology, Entertainment and Design” (that’s what the TED stands for) that are available for free, I believe, on YouTube.
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Roshan Kassan 9 months ago
My ex FiL asked after we watch 'Transformers' where the robots lived, considering their size.
Shadow 6 months ago
Probably because someone asked for clarification on what was meant by rabies vaccine. Most people drift towards animal vaccines when they hear it. But rabies can infect humans, squirrels, bats, dogs and cats that I know of.
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#42
A former employer complained that I lied about the severity of my autism because I presented so nicely at the interview and then didn't do well at my job. She's the one who went to an organization devoted to helping people with autism, to find an employee who was autistic, because she wanted to hire autistic people for her ABA therapy business.
My sister later told me that she wasn't giving enough information or instruction for *anyone* to do their job properly, neurospicy or not, so no wonder I failed in her eyes.
#43
I'll start.. I had a friend who was talking to someone from England and he asked them what month it is there.
Shadow 9 months ago
Wait this actually isn't that dumb there are a few countries that don't use the Gregorian calendar. Just as a random but historic example: Turkey was using 4 or 5 different calendars simultaneously until WWI.
Elaine Dodge 9 months ago
Four. Only four countries have not adopted the Gregorian calendar: Afghanistan, Iran, Ethiopia, and Nepal and when communicating/interacting with the rest of the world they convert their dates to the Gregorian calendar.
Load More Replies... Warren Peece 9 months ago
It could possibly be a different month at the time the person asks if the person is in a different time zone. England is a different month for a few hours every month compared to places in other time zones. i.e. Each new month starts either before or after England in other time zones.
Dar Mal 9 months ago
this is the dumbest "trying to make it right" response I have read....
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#44
Had a classmate ask If the Sun was man made. Never let that one down lol.
Christine Willis 5 months ago
My ex asked if I'd heard that they made boots that you could walk on the sun with...
Isabel Galvez 9 months ago
A friend of my brother, when they were little, told him his uncle worked in the sun. Maybe he was actually saying the truth.
#45
Landed at Heathrow (England). Migrated the airport, asking directions to the train station. Ordered a Starbucks coffee and pastry at the train station. Boarded the train (with all the usual maps of the stops and advertisements). About halfway to downtown, a girl in our group asks, “What language do they speak here?”.
WindySwede 9 months ago
They were maybe migratory humans, moving to England to nest during the summer months? 🙃
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Roshan Kassan 9 months ago
I'd have stated 'Ek d**k hulle praat engels of Ingrish' - in my best afrikaans accent.
Hippopotamuses 9 months ago
Odd, and frankly suspicious, that she didn't notice any of the signs. Written in... you know... English
Mary Peace 9 months ago
The oddness ooof that is the reason the O.P. mentioned it, sort of 'all the signs were there!'
Load More Replies... #46
I had a professor in college who watched Pirates of the Caribbean ONE TIME and was convinced that the word “parley” meant guidelines. So instead of telling us the guidelines for her class she gave us a list of “parleys” that we were to follow in her class….
quentariel 9 months ago
Professors excel in their chosen subject, but can be surprisingly stupid in others. Or just have a habit of writing in a way it's hard to understand. My professor (comparative religion) writes so long sentences that we actually once counted an average amount of words he used in his sentences, which was 42 words. Trying to understand him would require it's own university sudy program.
Load More Replies... Bill Swallow 9 months ago
Walk up with a dictionary already open to the proper page. Place it in front of the Prof, jab the word 'parley' with your finger, tell them 'You're Welcome', and return to your seat.
Phae Thompson 2 months ago
The only thing in Pirates of the Caribbean that is a guideline is the Pirate Code, according to Captain Jack Sparrow.
#47
"The earth is flat. You just refuse to believe it.".
Paul C. 9 months ago
Let's be honest if the Earth was flat, cats would sit at the edge knocking everything off.
Me Gravy 9 months ago
How do they explain the shots of Earth from space? I've always wondered how anyone can be so daft 😳
Panda McPandaface 9 months ago
But, but you know all those photos are fake right? The stars are just holes in the sky.
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Lost Penny 9 months ago
A fully grown man once told me he could prove the earth was flat. How, you may ask? "Because the water doesn't bend." What do you even answer to that? I said, ok.
quentariel 9 months ago
Ask him to fill a glass with water and then drop small coins in it one at a time, so he can see that water actually can bend. That's a whole another principle and doesn't prove the Earth's non-flatness, but still proves him wrong.
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Dawn Marie 9 months ago
OKAY, answer me this. If the Earth is flat why is there still water in the oceans and seas? Shouldn't it have just fallen off the edge? Secondly: What is over the edge? Where do things go when they go over the edge? I am assuming it is like Niagara Falls is this correct? Just tell me what all that stuff goes please.
Martin Johann Christian Lorentz 6 months ago
These nutjobs claim, that there is a huge wall of ice around the world.
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Heather Reagan 2 months ago
I want to meet a Flat Earther in person so I can ask them one simply question - If the Earth WAS actually flat - why pretend it isn't? Who benefits from pretending the Earth is round if it isn't?
#48
I asked someone what time it was
And they said, "Now?".
Panda'sMom 9 months ago
When I was in the military, I was in a class with people from all over. Somehow, we started talking about time differences. Like how far ahead or behind we were from where we were. Got to one of my friends who was based in Alaska. When asked how many hours was Alaska from where we were, he very calmly answered "Oh, about 20 years" .
Robert Beveridge 9 months ago
If they were a coder, a. this is entirely understandable and b. the answer was actually now().
#49
When I was 17, I was talking to someone in my class and said I'd watched Hotel Rwanda the night before. She asked what it was about and I said 'the genocide in Rwanda' and tbh, I knew she wasn't great at geography so was anticipating she'd ask me where Rwanda was. She paused for a second, looked confused and then said 'what's genocide?'.
Patrick H 9 months ago
Maybe nobody ever taught them that word. It isn't exactly used in everyday life in peaceful countries.
WubiDubi 9 months ago
I disagree. Only peaceful countries with bad education systems. And countries ignoring Holocaust Day. And countries whose news stations don't cover current African conflicts. Rwanda by the way. M23 isn't a highway.
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WubiDubi 9 months ago
Ignorance is bliss? This is why those ignorant of history are doomed to repeat it.
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Marnie 9 months ago
I don't think this is a dumb question for a 17 yo. You have to learn what at means at one point. I don't need 10 year olds knowing what "genocide" is.
Mary Peace 9 months ago
I don't know how old I was but I didn't learn the word at school, I learnt it from news reports.
Load More Replies... Orange Panda 9 months ago
To be fair, I didn't know about the Donner Party until high school. I kept my mouth shut, took in what was said, and sorta figured it out. This was pre-internet.
Bryn 9 months ago
A)American education is not a monolith. Every state is different. I learned about Rwanda in school (granted it wasn't in history class but a world problems class) and b)history, for teaching (and archiving) purposes is anything over 30 years old, so they are now only starting to consider Rwanda as "history". Otherwise its more considering a cultural/sociology type thing.
Load More Replies... #50
I was in a LTR and we were thousands of miles apart. I thought it would be romantic to say if both look up right now we can both see the moon together. She asked if I was looking at the same moon she was.
Jihana 9 months ago
What does LTR mean. First I thought long distance relationship, but that would be LDR.
BeKind&Rewind 9 months ago
Oddly, I have looked up at the moon or the sun and thought about how many other people are looking at it too. Seems to make the world smaller somehow.
#51
My mom died when I was a kid. I was in blood soaked PJ's because I had tried to do CPR on my mom. After the police arrive, our next door neighbor just walked into our house. He says: "You need to get dressed. You will be late to school.".
Jenny Barton 9 months ago
That seems like the neighbour having a brain blip because he was under stress too
Earonn - 9 months ago
Not necessarily stupid, just incapable of handling such an event. Too many people think that everyone responds like the people in movies. Hell, no, they don't.
Meagan Glaser 9 months ago
This was a neighbor, they didn't have to "handle such an event" at all. Nobody gets to use reacting to tragedy as an excuse for inappropriate behavior when they chose to barge in on the tragedy.
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Anthony Elmore 9 months ago
I wouldn't. Shock and trauma make people act weird, and they tend to resign to comfortable patterns to cope (Keep calm and carry on... but with momentary overwhelming trauma). If I see a kid soaked in blood, I'm going to want to get the kid out of said blood and away from the source of the trauma. The neighbor was in shock and his mind reached for the first sense of normalcy it could: Asking the kid to get ready for school.
Load More Replies... #52
After saying my twins are a boy and a girl, I've been asked if they are identical 🙄.
T'Mar of Vulcan 9 months ago
People asked this about me and my brother until he lost his hair and grew a beard. Until then people were convinced we were identical. We're not even twins!
DeoManus Argentem 9 months ago
I have a twin sister (I'm obviously male, at least I hope lol) and get/got the, "are you identical?" All the time, even from educated adults. One time a new friend asked, and an old friend (grew up/schooled with sis and I) replied, "yeah dude, his sister is so hot!" Funny, but awkward.
KittyGaming 9 months ago
That's a genetic disorder, source, I'm learning about genetics and natural selection in my Biology class at the moment, I don't remember the name but that's a disorder where you're born a girl but your body doesn't produce any feminine specific hormones so these girls don't get periods or one's not as bad, won't develop boobs for lack of a better word, and have fertility issues, not identical twins
Load More Replies... #53
My watch is waterproof to 100m.
Is that depth or distance?
Pink kitty 9 months ago
Oh so they mean if they walked 100m the watch would be dry but if they walked 101m then the watch would no longer be waterproof? Lol
#54
A doctor told me I got a UTI because I exposed myself to caffeine in the last 4 months.
Strings 9 months ago
I'm sorry, but I'm suddenly visualizing someone flashing at a can of Coke
Icedragocat (They/Them) 9 months ago
Lol I thought of the video game “Only Cans”
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Spidercat 9 months ago
Pandas: please do not expose your fiddly bits to your coffee in the morning. It ruins the mood for everyone else at the table...
Panda McPandaface 9 months ago
I live alone and you don't want to know what happens once a can of Red Bull is open.
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Bartlet for world domination 9 months ago
Caffeine irritates the bladder, so if it's not getting any better, avoiding coffee and energy drinks may be beneficial. Unless the UTI is E. coli biofilm-related, then caffeine may actually help.
Upstaged75 9 months ago
That's actually not entirely wrong. Drinking a lot of caffeine can cause your bladder to become irritated. It used to happen to me frequently.
Panda'sMom 9 months ago
There are times when I wonder how some doctors made it through Medical School.
Antonius van Reisen 9 months ago
My wife and I asked our pediatrician if our infant son’s diarrhea could be due to lactose intolerance. She dismissed our concern, saying I wouldn’t be the one breastfeeding him.
#55
Customer: what's the price of this purse?
Me: 6.99
Customer: oh but the price tag inside says 5.99
Me: ...then why did you ask?
Snazzy Smurf 9 months ago
I can understand that happening if there are multiple prices for the same item.
Jonas Fisher 9 months ago
Only if there are multiple price tags inside the purse, which clearly isn't the situation here.
Load More Replies... #56
Asked a friend of a friend about her siblings and she said she was “the oldest sibling so far”.
#57
A 40 yr old man told me he thought rabbits hunted and ate other animals for food.
Spidercat 9 months ago
Very dangerous things the Rabbits of Caerbannog. Need a holy hand grenade to make a dent.
Load More Replies... Heather Reagan 2 months ago
Only if Monty Python is around. .....was Monty Python actually a character in those movies? I've never actually watched them.
#58
Someone I know is convinced that 11AM is the afternoon. Yes, after noon.
Moana Manana 9 months ago
LOL, back in school (Germany) we were trying to figure out how we could make sence of AM and PM. A classmate said, that's easy: AM stays for After Morning, and PM for Post Morning 🤣 I wonder if he would have been on time if he would have to use that form of time...
Panda McPandaface 9 months ago
When I was little they were 'After Midnight' and 'Past Midday'.
Load More Replies... KittyGaming 9 months ago
Ask them what time is noon and then when they answer twelve, if they aren't truly stupid/uneducated, it should click at that moment
#59
"What part of Africa is South Africa in?".
Earonn - 9 months ago
Kinda on the fence with this one - I'm from EAST-WESTphalia, part of NORTHrhine-WESTphalia. :)
Nicole Weymann 9 months ago
Yeah, whenever I hear the weather forecast or local news talk about "Ostwestfalen" I feel a little knot in my brain forming 😆 Adding "Nordrheinwestfalen" does NOT help.
Load More Replies... Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 9 months ago
if you are looking at a map of the continent... it's probably down around the bottom....
#60
I had a college student tell me that the moon brings us night just like the sun brings us daylight.
Manana Man 9 months ago
That almost sounds logical. Show him the moon sometime when it's out during the day and blow his mind.
#61
My car had a recall released late last year. It was for the airbag module, so I made the appointment as soon as I received the notice. This would be the first time I brought the vehicle to the dealer since I bought it (I do my own maintenance), so I was also excited to see what services the manufacturer recommends for my car.
The day of my appointment comes, I go to the dealer, give them my info and keys, and sit in the waiting room. About an hour passes before I get a text; it's the dealership. They had sent me a video of their multi-point inspection, and a link to approve or deny the services they are recommending. One of them is an automatic transmission fluid change. Confused, I go to the service desk to talk to the service advisor.
SA: "Hey, did you get the text?"
Me: "I did, I'm just a little confused. One of the recommendations is an automatic transmission fluid change?"
SA: "Yes, it is recommended by [brand] that the ATF is replaced at 80k miles, you are at 84k, and we have no history on your vehicle. Have you had it done somewhere else?"
Me: "No, I haven't, because my car has a manual transmission."
SA: "..."
Me: "With that being said, please just complete my recall. Thank you."
I looked it up later, and the ATF for the automatic version of my car doesn't even have an interval, whereas the manuals do, and it's 60k. It was done by the dealer I bought the car from.
I also brought it to the only other dealership in my state for that brand to confirm that my software was indeed updated, as I was very skeeved out by the mechanic working on my car not even knowing it has a manual transmission before recommending work to be done. It wasn't.
TLDR: Dealership recommended I change the automatic transmission fluid for my manual vehicle.
Dave In MD 9 months ago
Manual transmissions are proportionally kind of rare. The Service Advisor probably had no idea what transmission is in the car and if the Tech recommended a 30k, 60k, or 90k mile service he or she just made the recommendations for the average vehicle with that mileage. At some dealerships the SA will move the car and at some they don't, it just depends on how the dealership is physically laid out.
#62
"If we get rid of the trees, we won't have these forest fires every year.".
Michael Largey 9 months ago
Ronald Reagan on preserving giant redwoods - "If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all."
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Geoffrey Scott 9 months ago
Got the stink eye from my SIL when visiting the Florida panhandle: "So where are your rakes?" .."why?".."Well Trump said if I rake the state land and Federal land ( Eglin AFB is HUGE) I can prevent forest fires, so I wanna do my part".
BeKind&Rewind 9 months ago
Not the trees, but if the forest FLOOR and the DEAD trees were removed, there would be less fuel for a fire. No one wants to cut down trees just to cut them. We must be more responsible if we are going to live near or in a forested area.
#63
Shortly after my wife had a miscarriage someone said "well, you can try again".
YakFactory 9 months ago
That's just thoughtless. Yes, you can try again, but the baby you lost was also part of your family.
BeKind&Rewind 9 months ago
Agreed. But it is an interesting thought that the only difference between her miscarried baby and the "clump of tissue" is whether or not it was wanted.
Load More Replies... Patrick H 9 months ago
What am I missing here? It may be insensitive, but it's not wrong. Most people who haven't experienced a miscarriage don't understand the heartache. It's not the best thing to say, but they probably meant well.
Maggz Bennett 9 months ago
I don't think they meant to be unkind, people just don't know what to say when this happens.
Load More Replies... Nosirrow 9 months ago
A week after my mother died, a mobile team of the supposed mental health specialists came to me. I was talking about the abuse I suffered at the hand of mother, a woman interrupted me. To point out I spoke about mother in the present tense. I was lost for words. I now use only present tense when talking about mother to make other idiots reveal their stupidity.
#64
In high school a girl asked my younger sister ( we’re 17 months apart) if I was her mom while we all waited for the bell to ring. I had my back pack on.
Lukas (he/him, it/its) 9 months ago
I was asked at age 13 if I was the mom to two of my foster siblings (14 and 9). My response was "Um, ma'am? I'm 13. He's older than me," and she immediately apologized. I also got asked once, I think I was 14 or 15, if I was my dad's wife. That was reeeealllly awkward.
Blah Blah Blah 9 months ago
People need to keep their thoughts to themselves a hell of a lot more often
Load More Replies... #65
That the letters "MLK" arent initals of a person but rather a "shout-out" to people that love to drink MILK.
Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 9 months ago
The majority of people (specifically Americans) are stupid, shallow, sloths. Intentional ignorance is the grand plan.
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What do you think ?
Papa 9 months ago
I was talking to a woman who was getting ready to put her house up for sale. She said the carpet needed replacing, but she was concerned about putting in new carpet and then losing a sale because someone didn't like it. I suggested she not put in the new carpet, but tell prospective buyers that she had reduced the asking price by the amount carpet would cost so they could get whatever kind they wanted. Her reply was "But what if I do that, and they buy the house, but don't get new carpet?" I was so caught off guard I didn't know how to answer. Why would she care?
Katia Plou 9 months ago (edited)
Once I was with at a restaurant with family and acquaintances when a lady I had just met asked my mom what's the age difference between my sister and me. My mom said "5" and the lady replied "Years???". Yell, duh! Like, could it be otherwise? Could we have been born 5 months apart?
Bobby Elgee 9 months ago
Buddy of mine thought all women menstrutated during the full moon and said ir was just like high tide
Rick Murray 9 months ago
Went to a restaurant with my mother. We looked quite alike, enough that most people can tell we're mother and son. Except this dingbat waitress who is making weird comments because she thinks my mother is having a fling with a younger guy. So I called the muppet over and began with "what the f'k does it matter to you who your customers are dating?" and, well, I don't really do tactful and what followed was anything but. But pleasingly cathartic, even if mom was hiding behind a napkin by the end.
Richienotsorich 9 months ago
Have a colleague who was telling me about his trip on the River Seine when he saw "that shịt version of the Statue of Liberty"! Had to explain that was the original and the French built the American version as a gift to celebrate independence from Britain. He was astonished.
Ronnie Beaton 9 months ago
Myself a a couple of friends were in the audience for the War of the Worlds Musical show. A guy in the row behind us was telling his buddy about how it was based on the novel by H.G. Wells. "Is he gonna be on stage too?" asks buddy boy. There was a pause of several seconds, then the guy answered "No. Because he died in 1946."
Donna Peluda 9 months ago
A physics teacher told me that ice couldn't go below 0C°. No matter how cold it was ice was always at 0C°
SaraCapybara 9 months ago
When I worked at a bookstore I had one woman come in and ask if we had Jane Austen's new book.
Mary Peace 9 months ago
Maybe a publisher brought out a NEW EDITION of one of Jane Austen's books. I was at college as a mature student with some young people not long out of school. We could chose our own topic for a project and I chose Jane Austen. One girl asked who she was. I missed the chance to say, "Have you seen 'Pride and Prejudice'? Mr Darcy in his wet shirt?"
Load More Replies... Papa 9 months ago
I was talking to a woman who was getting ready to put her house up for sale. She said the carpet needed replacing, but she was concerned about putting in new carpet and then losing a sale because someone didn't like it. I suggested she not put in the new carpet, but tell prospective buyers that she had reduced the asking price by the amount carpet would cost so they could get whatever kind they wanted. Her reply was "But what if I do that, and they buy the house, but don't get new carpet?" I was so caught off guard I didn't know how to answer. Why would she care?
Katia Plou 9 months ago (edited)
Once I was with at a restaurant with family and acquaintances when a lady I had just met asked my mom what's the age difference between my sister and me. My mom said "5" and the lady replied "Years???". Yell, duh! Like, could it be otherwise? Could we have been born 5 months apart?
Bobby Elgee 9 months ago
Buddy of mine thought all women menstrutated during the full moon and said ir was just like high tide
Rick Murray 9 months ago
Went to a restaurant with my mother. We looked quite alike, enough that most people can tell we're mother and son. Except this dingbat waitress who is making weird comments because she thinks my mother is having a fling with a younger guy. So I called the muppet over and began with "what the f'k does it matter to you who your customers are dating?" and, well, I don't really do tactful and what followed was anything but. But pleasingly cathartic, even if mom was hiding behind a napkin by the end.
Richienotsorich 9 months ago
Have a colleague who was telling me about his trip on the River Seine when he saw "that shịt version of the Statue of Liberty"! Had to explain that was the original and the French built the American version as a gift to celebrate independence from Britain. He was astonished.
Ronnie Beaton 9 months ago
Myself a a couple of friends were in the audience for the War of the Worlds Musical show. A guy in the row behind us was telling his buddy about how it was based on the novel by H.G. Wells. "Is he gonna be on stage too?" asks buddy boy. There was a pause of several seconds, then the guy answered "No. Because he died in 1946."
Donna Peluda 9 months ago
A physics teacher told me that ice couldn't go below 0C°. No matter how cold it was ice was always at 0C°
SaraCapybara 9 months ago
When I worked at a bookstore I had one woman come in and ask if we had Jane Austen's new book.
Mary Peace 9 months ago
Maybe a publisher brought out a NEW EDITION of one of Jane Austen's books. I was at college as a mature student with some young people not long out of school. We could chose our own topic for a project and I chose Jane Austen. One girl asked who she was. I missed the chance to say, "Have you seen 'Pride and Prejudice'? Mr Darcy in his wet shirt?"
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