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According to the latest data, the most popular baby names in the US are Olivia for girls and Liam for boys. In the UK, the charts are topped by Olivia (again!) and Muhammad.
However, not all parents want to follow the prevailing trends and opt for more, let's call them, creative choices. You might have a few examples in your own inner circles, too. Or be one yourself!
Interested in the unusual, we even discovered a couple of online threads where people share those that they believe should never, ever be used—but somehow are.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I used to work for a company making yearbooks. One year we found the kids of the Sheets family. 2 girls named Silk, and Satin, and a boy named Cotton.
These kinds of names make me wonder why parents hate their children.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 10 months ago
I was gonna say, at least they didn’t name one Polyester… but honestly even Polly Esther would be better
Your Local Raccoon 10 months ago
At least it's a badass name. Say, is he a spy or government hitman now?
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glowworm2 10 months ago (edited)
I have to agree here as well. The names are actually all legit ones. It's the fact that their last name is Sheets that make them unusual. Honestly, it's kind of cute.
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April Pickett 10 months ago
Could they at least give them middle names that aren't so unusual like Mary, Deborah, etc?
Carl Roberts 10 months ago
Anyone want to bet this is complete baloney made up for Reddit karma
glowworm2 10 months ago (edited)
Honestly, these names don't seem as bad as most of the ones usually listed. Cotton actually is a legit, albeit less common name. There was a character in King of the Hill with that name. Silk and Satin are also legit names. It's the fact that the parent have a sense of humor that makes them a bit unusual.
Kirsty Ketley, a qualified early years and parenting specialist with a wealth of knowledge from over two decades of experience, told Bored Panda, "Baby naming trends have evolved significantly [over recent years], reflecting broader cultural, social, and technological changes."
"There has been a shift toward unique, non-traditional names as parents seek individuality for their children. Additionally, pop culture, celebrity influences, and even social media trends have introduced new names into mainstream use. Meanwhile, vintage and classic names have made a comeback, as parents look to the past for inspiration," Ketley explained.
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#2
True story:
I'm in a Target, in the bath section, I think I was looking for like a shower curtain or something. From the a couple aisles over I hear this woman call her kid. I freeze, do a doubletake, assume I MUST have misheard. There's NO GODDAMNED WAY SHE NAMED HER KID THAT.
I head over that way as I got what I came for and it's in the direction of the registers. Woman calls her kid again. I DID hear it correctly.
Her daughter's name was, and I s**t reddit not, Hashtag.
I'm not a violent person but part of me wanted to put that woman into the towel display.
Alexia 10 months ago
I've heard lady calling her 5 y.o. son. Turned my head to make sure I wasn't imagining things. Boy's name was Brexit.
Coffee Comma Black 10 months ago
I wonder if it’s the same Hashtag that was on the news about 10 years ago.
#3
Mother: “Her name is See-ann.”
Me: “What an interesting name. How do you spell that?”
Mother: replied, “ S E A N”
Me: “Isn’t that Sean?”
Mother: “AUUUUGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! Why do people keep saying that!? So many ignorant people in this world!!!!!!”
And she storms off in a huff.
Kim Shannon 10 months ago
I once worked with a woman who spelled her name Joan and became upset because it was pronounced Jo-An.
Joanne Earle 10 months ago
My MIL's name was spelled Joan and her family called her 'Jo-ann' but others called her 'Joan'.
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Khavrinen 10 months ago
"So many ignorant people in this world!!" And one of them named her daughter 'Sean'.
BeesEelsAndPups 10 months ago
Was she perhaps an immigrant. In my country the name "Sean" would be pronounced "Say-ahnee". If you wanted a name to sound the Irish name Sean, it would have to be spelled something like Xiom or Shiom.
StrangeOne 10 months ago
I have a relative named Sean, pronounced Shawn. I've known a few people with that name spelled just like that. It's not unusual to me. Now, using that name but putting a whole new pronunciation to it is just going to confuse people.
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Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
There was Sean Young in 'Blade Runner' - don't know how she pronounces it though...
Huddo's sister 10 months ago
This is why google has a pronunciation next to names when you google them, to try and avoid confusion
foehnalicious 10 months ago
Sheesh. And it took me years to train myself to say "shawn" when I saw "sean"!
The numbers support Ketley's insights, too. In a study conducted by the University of Edinburgh, researchers used a tool derived from biosciences, known as network analysis, to spot trends in the names given to more than 22 million babies born in the UK between 1838 and 2016. Using this tool, they found that names centered mostly around biblical characters until the mid-to-late 20th century, when the country saw a decline in religiosity and an influx of immigrants coming to the UK to help it steam through the Industrial Revolution, and there has been very little stability in naming patterns since.
#4
My mother was substituting teaching in a high school. When she called the roll, she stumbled on one name and said, “I know this name is wrong on the roll, so help me Ms. Jones, please say your name for me. She said it just as it was on the roll, “Urethra”. I hope her parents were aiming at Aretha, like in Franklin, and just missed a little. Either way, parents should get the name right and not harness their kids with a horrible name for life. Ooooops.
BeesEelsAndPups 10 months ago
When my daughter was born, there was a baby boy at the same hospital named Labia. It was supposed to be pronounced luh-BEE-uh. So there is now a 10 year old boy somewhere named Labia.
PeepPeep the duck 10 months ago
If she was my bff I’d call her meat flaps, but only at home not in public 😂
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DetriMentaL (It/That) 10 months ago
I had a neighbour who's name is Candida.. She goes by Candy. She's in her 40's..the hell was her mother thinking (0.0)
Philly Bob 10 months ago (edited)
You have angered the píss wizards! Now urine real trouble!
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Nelson Álvarez Sáez 10 months ago (edited)
Some Chilean girls are called Usnavy (pronunced oos NAH vee) bc their parents who lived in some seaport happened to see the name written on the sides of boats from the US and they thought it was a nice name - "US Navy" 🤣🤣🤣
#5
It used to be Nevaeh, until I realized there was a Jizzabel at the elementary. Not Jezebel, JIZZabel. I wept.
Dragons Exist 10 months ago (edited)
Saying it with a Spanish j, like "Hizzabel", is slightly better but still bad because of what it looks like and how most people would say it, saying it with a Norwegian j ("Yizzabel") also isn't really better
The researchers also noticed that some names cycle in and out of fashion between generations or become popular because of a positive association with a public figure or event, such as the early 2000s surge in Mileys—after the rise of teen star Miley Cyrus.
However, as spikes in the popularity of certain names became more frequent in the 21st century, those names also eventually fell out of fashion due to overuse.
Because of this, parents have been increasingly searching for those that will help their kids stand out. That, the scientists concluded, is why hyphens and variant spellings have increased substantially in recent years. But with time, those names also become recognizable, which is why contemporary naming patterns are characterized by "a balance struck between recognizability and rarity."
#6
Nevaeh, WE KNOW ITS HEAVEN BACKWARDS ASWELL! you don’t have to mention it every time.
BeesEelsAndPups 10 months ago
Well, at least you know which one is the evil twin
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Estelle 10 months ago
Way back when I was an intern at child protective services permanency unit, I was working with a family who had their youngest child named, V. I was stumped....is it Vee? Roman five? No, just FIVE. This baby was the fifth child in the family and it seems Mom lost motivation for names.
glowworm2 10 months ago
There was a kid in the Peanuts comic strip called 555. 5 for short. His last name was 95472.
Load More Replies... Multa Nocte 10 months ago
I really dislike this name, mostly because of the type of family it is associated with.
Thomas Schwarting 9 months ago
There used to be an active hotel near me called the NEVELE, eleven spelled backwards for the eleven sons she had!
#7
One time, I was in a shop. There was a mum there with identical twin daughters, both about aged 7. They were both dressed exactly the same. Not a tradition I’m particularly fond of personally, but fair enough - it isn’t uncommon for that to be the case with young identical twins.
Anyway, the girls were clearly overexcited, running about while the mum was exhausted. But then, the mum called “Megan and Megan, get here NOW.”
I thought she was only calling one twin over.
But both girls came back. So I thought, “Oh they must have similar names like Megan and Morgan, and I misheard.”
One of the twins saw something on the shelf and ran over to it. The mum called out:
“No, we’re not having that. Put it down. NOW, Megan 1.”
“Was she going to start counting down “1, 2, 3” to lead to a punishment?” was obviously my next thought.
But then the girls started arguing about something, and we heard the mum retort: “For God’s sake, Megan 2. Leave Megan 1 alone.”
These twin sisters not only looked the same and dressed the same…they had the same name, differentiated by numbers like the Bananas in Pyjamas.
pfeils wife 10 months ago
Michael, I admit I didn't believe you, so I looked it up. And WOW, I have no words. "His sons are George Jr., George III, George Foreman IV, George Foreman V and George Foreman VI"
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iseefractals 10 months ago
Hospital probably would let them use their first choices "Mistake" and "Regret"
TeenieMeanie 10 months ago
One of my childhood favorites. Remember Petunia?
Load More Replies... Thomas Schwarting 9 months ago
I'd be feeling sorry for those two girls! Sounds like mom didn't have much of an imagination!
Some countries take active measures to save children from possible embarrassment due to an unorthodox name. For example, Iceland has a list of 1,853 female names and 1,712 male ones, and parents must pick from these lists or seek permission from a special committee. Similarly, when Japanese parents register newborns, local authorities can say no if they don't think the name is appropriate. But, the UK and the US have much more liberal naming laws.
"I feel that regulating names, such as putting bans in place for certain names, would perhaps infringe on people's freedoms," Kirsty Ketley said, reminding us that there's a whole range of possible solutions. "Perhaps having guidelines instead, which help parents choose culturally appropriate names that are non-offensive, practical, etc. So not strict rules, but advice."
#8
I know this woman. She’s in her early 20s, maybe 22–23. Her name is Ballgown. I am not joking. Her parents named her “Ballgown”. She quite hates her name, but does not want the cost of changing it. She has thought about nicknames, but being called “Ball” could have associations with beach balls, tennis balls or s*x. And “Gown” isn’t that great either. So people call her Ballgown.
And guess what poor Ballgown’s brother is named. Inflato. WHY WOULD YOU NAME A CHILD “INFLATO”? I lose respect for parents once I start thinking “wow, that name is hilarious”. Just don’t name a child crazy things. It will make the child’s life a lot harder.
BeesEelsAndPups 10 months ago
She can go by Gwen. If Robert is Bob, and William is Bill, than Ballgown can be Gwen
Nitka Tsar 10 months ago
Bob and Bill have an explanation though, Gwen wouldn’t. According to what I’ve read, sometime in the past it was “in” to change the first letter of a shortened name. So, William went from Will to Bill and Robert from Rob to Bob. For Ballgown you could say…. Doll for Ball or Roun for Gown or something like that….. (never mind Eastern European names like Sasha or Oleg as short for Alexander, lol)
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CD Mills 10 months ago
I'd start having people calling me Bea. Turn that first initial into the whole name. As for the poor brother, I hope he can afford a name change, his parents did him more dirty than his sister, and I can't think of any way to fold that up into anything resembling a human name........................................... I remember an episode of M*A*S*H where Hawkeye was trying to guess what the 'BJ' stood for in BJ Hunnicut. He was guessing through the whole episode and at the end BJ said the initials WERE his entire legal name and that he was named after his parents Bea and Jay.
#9
I haven't lost respect but I'm just confused: X Æ A-12
Like what was the point??? I read somewhere that their baby was allowed to choose their gender, but really? There are plenty of gender-neutral names out there, you don't need to use the Windows Start-Up sound to name the kid.
The Doom Song 10 months ago
Everytime I read this I still have no f*****g clue what that poor kids name is actually supposed to be
Broccoli 10 months ago
Out of the millions of names they could choose from, they chose to create a name so bad that it would have their ancestors crawling out of their graves and beating them up
Earonn - 10 months ago
But on brand for that insecure twat to try and shout out "look how special I am" through the name of his child. Just why the mother agreed is beyond me....
WalterWhiteSavannah 10 months ago
Grimes is weird af and (at least used to be) pretty open about her use of meth and hallucinogens so...
Load More Replies... Dragons Exist 10 months ago
He just had to choose a name that: has a number, has a hyphen, has 2 spaces, and has a dead letter that's not in English
Lene 10 months ago
Do you mean the Æ? Because.... that's not dead at all. 😊 well, only if you count its use in the English language.
Load More Replies... Sand Ers 10 months ago
Considering that musk is so transphobic his transwoman daughter disowned him, I seriously doubt he'd have any ability to accept an identity that conflicts with his bigotry. And can we get rid of the "choose gender" disinformation? Trans people are not "choosing to change gender", and they don't "want to be another gender". They are the gender they say they are, and are adjusting their lives to fit the gender that they are, which does not match the body they were born in.
zims 10 months ago
People are obsessed with this kid, but Musk had twelve kids with three women, three of whom were had via surrogacy, seven of whom were the result of IVF. His first child died and his second child transitioned, making her "dead to him." The dude's got issues with his kids, a weird name is the least of it.
#10
I know a girl named Felony.
Strings 10 months ago
Reverse psychology: Chastity is usually a solution, Hope usually suffers from depression, etc. Maybe naming the child Felony will make her be a law-abiding citizen...
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Gracie Mae 10 months ago
I know someone that delivered her baby while in jail and named her Feloni. I like to think I at least had a part in her change of heart!
#11
Twins were called Corona and Covid.
Btw this was actually true.
applepiepirate:
Someone in my parents’ neighborhood did Korrona and Kovid.
Bi.Felicia 10 months ago
I went to a hockey game with other Veterans, this past weekend and there was an older woman, with our group named Rona. I've never heard this name and initially thought it was short for Corona, but her name is just Rona.
Bored Sailor 10 months ago
I have a friend from the Navy called Rhona, and knew others similar.
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Auntriarch 10 months ago
Because it sounds like a girl's name, I mean it ends with Bella, I'm not surprised really
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George D 10 months ago
This is an aside, but noticing those names starting with "C". I'm not from the Texas, Oklahoma area but it cracks me up when I watch some show about ranches in those areas and EVERY son is named either Cody, Colby, Connor, Cooper, Caleb, Cole, or Chase. Oh, and the blacksheep of the family, Jake.
Hassel Davidhoff 10 months ago
Honestly, the fact that OP had to say "by the way this is actually true" fully makes me suspect that it is anything but.
#12
Met some kids named Cain and Abel. Like seriously, if you want to flex your religion on everyone it is uneccessary. Then I realized "Oh wait, Cain killed Abel". I was quite confused. Why would you name your kids after someone who killed the other? WHY?
DetriMentaL (It/That) 10 months ago
Went to a very Christian primary school. We had a boy named Lucifer.
geezeronthehill 10 months ago
Lucifer means 'bringer of light'. But I'm surprised a Christian would use it, due to their mythology.
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Adam Benson 10 months ago (edited)
I once had a friend (also called) Adam who named one of his sons Cain. One of my sons is called Isaac but that's because we liked the name. I didn't think of the Bible connection until much later.
PeepPeep the duck 10 months ago (edited)
It’s bizarre when it’s bible direct- my bf peter is named after some story where he’s a bad guy. And I’m like your mum loves the bible, whyyyyyy would you name him after a bad guy in a bible story you like? I laughed cos isn’t there good guys in the Christian religion call Peter too? Why not after them? I don’t get it
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 10 months ago
To some people, if it's in the Bible, it must be ok. No need for a millisecond's thought.
Annabel Again 10 months ago
Bet those parents read the Wikipedia page for that story on the wrong day
Thomas Schwarting 9 months ago
Another one, poor kids! I LIKE biblical names, but with positive connotations!
#13
Crystal Chanda Lear. Her father may have thought he was being clever, but did it ever occur to him what his daughter was going to experience? Chastity Bono is another, and Moon Unit Zappa. I knew a lady who whose family had named her “Pixie”. By the time she was in high school she was was six-foot-three and the topic of constant ‘humor’.
I think the custom among some indigenous American cultures worked better. A child had a ‘baby name’ until they came of age to be considered an adult, and then took or were given an appropriate adult name. I think it’s cruel and unfair to stick an infant with having to live their lives with an unsuitable name.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
Yep. I'm named Crystal and I hated it as a child. I actually did get teased and bullied for my name (which, upon reflection, was some of the stupidest unclever teasing ever, but it hurt when I was 8, lol.) I had a plan to change my name when I hit 18, but by the time I did, I didn't care about hating my name any more XD I just wish more people called me Crys when I was a kid (only my dad did - my mom and sister call me Cryssie to this day and I still die inside.)
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Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
Chastity is just one of the 'Patience' and 'Prudence' group - been around for ages. Tough one to live up to though...
Bookworm 10 months ago
Very Puritan. I think they started or at least popularized a lot of the 'virtue' names.
Load More Replies... Tucson Cubb 10 months ago
I know a makeup artist for TV and movies and her name is Pixie Schwartz
Philly Bob 10 months ago
Zowie Bowie, Dweezel Zappa, North West etc. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Type a name into MS Word. If a red squiggly line appears under it, maybe you should reconsider?
Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 10 months ago (edited)
"Chastity" is a very old name. However, Moon Unit's brother's name, Dweezil, is not.
#14
As a teacher, I regularly see names that make me cringe, though not necessarily ready to commit violence.
I once had a girl named Bo-peep. Her sister Bambi was in my class the following year.
I had a boy named Elohim (Hebrew for God) one year, and his brother Adonai (also Hebrew for God) the next — I was so glad that there was not a third brother, since Jehovah was the next logical name choice.
I had a girl whose first name was Rice — and her middle name was Aroni. Yes, like the side dish known as the “San Francisco treat".
Another young lady was Summer, which sounded great — until I saw her middle name was Eve. Yep, like the disposable feminine hygiene products.
One girl was named Marriott — born 9 months to the day after her parents' wedding because “that's where she was made.” (A direct quote from her dad.)
Yep — there are names…
PeepPeep the duck 10 months ago (edited)
We alllll know why they called her rice, I bet $1000000 the mother had the triple VHS box set of Beethoven growing up too 😂
Sophie 10 months ago
Agree, also think Marriott is not that bad maybe would spell like Mariott or Mariot.
Load More Replies... Multa Nocte 10 months ago
This is why countries should have a "Can't Have That Stupid Name" list.
Spencer's slave no longer 10 months ago
We have just such a list in New Zealand, doesn't stop people trying though.
Load More Replies... Earonn - 10 months ago
Okay, Summer Eve isn't bad - and perhaps the parents didn't know about the tampons or whatever it is?
Bookworm 10 months ago
It's a line of those 'feminine wash' products that you aren't supposed to use. I just had to toss a whole bunch that a well-meaning person donated to the food/hygiene pantry I volunteer with.
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Melissa Matusevich 10 months ago
I went to high school with twins, a boy named Louie and his sister Goldie. The last name was Lox.
PeepPeep the duck 10 months ago
That’s so bad 😂 poor kids. We had an Aulay MacAulay at school, but I recently found out they hard core about their Scottish heritage so technically his name is aulay son of aulay.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 10 months ago (edited)
I saw Bambi in a name dictionary over 20 years ago when I was looking at names for my daughter. Tbh, I like the name but we went with something cuter. Hebrew names are common among the Jewish. I don't think it's fair for people to judge, as they are traditional names in those communities. Summer is a common name. So is Eve. Together that's a fun combo. I would say the parents love their child very much.
Joanne Earle 10 months ago
Coulda been worse.....her parents could've conceived her at Motel Six. Or Comfort Suites.
Auntriarch 10 months ago
I know a child called Devon, because his parents were on holiday in the west country when he was conceived
Bookworm 10 months ago
That one's a real name, so as long as you don't go around telling everyone the backstory, it's fine.
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#15
Sanitiser. Parents have actually named the child like that.
#16
My first year working in a school. My job was to help ECE teacher register their children. As she read the name of the children. If they weren’t crying they sat on the rug.
As I had a mass of children crying around me. She left her assistant reading to the children on the rug. It was then our job to decipher the cryers names.
It to us awhile. But we were down to 3 kids. We asked them numerous times what their names were. But neither answered. I told the teacher to read the names. But it was only one name.
She asked the girls which one was K 8. Puzzled I asked “K8?” She showed it to me. Astonished I told the letter and number went together. The girl’s name was K8, Kate. Her parents named her K8.
When the parents picked up the kids from school I waited at the door. I had to find out what parent would name their daughter with something so closely related to K9.
The mother explained that in her family the first granddaughter was named Kate. She wanted her daughter to have it uniquely written. I told her that her daughter would be teased as she progressed in school. As the school psychologist I worried about this.
After 2nd grade her husband had his wife legally change her name. It was not Kate. The girl wanted to be named Tiffanie.
Joanne Earle 10 months ago
My cousin is 'Janine' but I've seen some of her friends on social media call her 'J9' which I thought was pretty funny.
Nitka Tsar 10 months ago
Is Janine spoken like J9 or was that just a joke in the friendgroup?
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 10 months ago
Would be an alright rapper name. I don't understand this bending to bullies mentality, though, and teaching kids to not be fully themselves, in all their uniqueness for rotten, horrible people. Bullies do not deserve the satisfaction of having obedience and domination over others. Parents can teach their kids acceptance and tolerance, and minding ones own business. Because bullies will pick on anyone for any reason, regardless.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
That's a lovely sentiment in concept, but will never work out in actual reality. There will always be another bully, all the way into adulthood and beyond. What if K8 gets a job at Starbucks and has to wear a name tag? Do you think people won't make harassing and inappropriate comments simply because they're adults now? No. Bullies exist in the adult world too. There is absolutely nothing wrong with avoiding ONE avenue of bullying that is EASILY avoidable: don't name your child something like K8 or Bow-wow or Candida or Labia, etc. Parents have full control over their child's name. Naming your child "Kate" instead of "K8" is not "bending to bullies", as the bullies will never know that the child was almost named "K8". They'll find something else to bully others over, and THAT'S where teaching acceptance and tolerance comes in. Naming your child "Kate" instead of "K8" is simply avoiding making trouble where there is none.
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#17
A child in my son’s preschool had a name that the teacher couldn’t figure out. The name was La-a. The parent got impatient with the teacher and told her that “the dash ain’t silent”.
Pronunciation was Ladasha. I wonder if that girl changed her name when she turned 18.
Rachael Smith 10 months ago
Yearbook employee here, an Ta-da is a name I encountered. Yes. Tuhdashduh.
Robert T 10 months ago
Sounds like the parents were utter >ons. The more sign ain't silent. ;-)
SleepyVampire 10 months ago (edited)
This is so old. There has never been anyone recorded in the US named this. Ever. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/le-a/
Danielle Dee 10 months ago (edited)
Don’t forget her sister: Le-a (pronounced le-hyphen-a) Real names…smh
#18
I worked at an elementary school for 24 years and heard lot of unusual names but the worst was “Chaos”. At first, upon seeing this name in writing, I thought perhaps it was pronounced differently and when I questioned the mother how they said it, she said, “Just like it’s spelled”. I lost all respect for her and the child’s father.
When “Chaos” arrived in kindergarten, he proved true to his name. He ended up requiring a paraeducator to attend to his behavior the entire day and essentially ruined the learning environment for all the students in the classroom.
Clearly the child wasn’t “Chaos” when he entered the world but became such as a result of what his parents expected or wanted due to naming him with complete disregard for his future.
UnicornSnotRules 10 months ago
The one hospital near us posts pictures of newborns and their names on a digital billboard. There recently was a "Kaos". I just don't picture that kid having a bright future.
WhatEvenIsLife 10 months ago
I actually don't think this one is so bad, compared to some of the others. Not sure I agree that the child had behavior issues because of his name, but okay.
Shortstuff 10 months ago
Here in NZ a gang member was named Chaos and was killed. His life sounded complete chaos.
Sara Frazer 10 months ago (edited)
I have a young cousin named "Riot". No his mother does not have custody of him or any of his several younger siblings. She deserves to be "fixed" (he's a nice young man tho)
#19
Some years ago a friend of mine who is a doctor was in the maternity ward and overheard a mother and her friend discussing baby names. The mother said she heard a beautiful name while she was there in the hospital and she was going to name her baby this name. The name she overheard was Guana Rhea. Not a joke it's a true story. ...
Melissa Matusevich 10 months ago
My sister had a client named Syphilis which the first syllable stressed.
Multa Nocte 10 months ago
This one is a stretch to believe, but people ARE stupid, so maybe it's true . . . . .
zovjraar me 10 months ago
i've always thought Chlamydia is a lovely word, when you don't think about what it means.
Sara Frazer 10 months ago
I can't even come up with a jokey spelling of that name that's just gross
Karla Schmidt 10 months ago
My cousin had students in his middle school, twins: Gonorrhea and Syphilis - called Rhea and Philis (whew). Asked why she had given her children those names, the mother said she hadn't. The doctor did it.
#20
I used to work in recruitment and saw a cv with the name Goodness and Mercy on it. That was her full name. I had to call her up like "is this Goodness and Mercy?".
GrowingThruConcrete 10 months ago
Was her sisters name Shirley? Did they follow each other around ?
Cathy Jo Baker 10 months ago
The Mathers had some really interesting names, like Cotton, and his father Increase
#21
Met a young couple with an adorable little girl.
I held her for a few minutes and asked what her name was.
They replied “Grendel.”
I said that she was going to be a real man-eater when she grew up.
They didn’t know what I was talking about.
I told them to Google or Wiki the name ‘Grendel.’
I would have paid a lot to be there when they did that … !
Batwench 10 months ago
My cousin and her then partner chose a name of a famous cowboy. However, they didn’t know or had heard of said cowboy. Was educated in said name. To her credit, when she received lots of cowboy themed things for him as a baby she took it all in good grace and d warmed to the theme.
Jan Rosier 10 months ago
Netherlands or Flanders? (it's a deadbolt in English)
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 10 months ago
Many in western society are named after "saints", who on examination sometimes turn out to be less than admirable people.
#22
Stuff like Precious, Chanel or Diamond.
iseefractals 10 months ago
Yeah....it's a last name. And the only reason it's gained in popularity as a first name is because it's associated with a luxury brand....while everyone ignores that the person that made it famous spent WW2 banging a Nazi.
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Breadcrumb. 10 months ago
Okay for a dog but for what's going to be a adult woman one day, nope.
Depressy spaghetti 10 months ago
My step sisters middle name is diamond and ive met a girl named precious, also my other steps middle name is crystal.
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tresgatos72 10 months ago
Every student I have ever run across in my 30-year teaching career who was named Precious, Chanel, or Diamond was a TOTAL nightmare. Though nowadays, Chanel is likely to be spelled "Shynylle", Diamond is more likely "Dyamund" and Precious is "Preshus".🙄
Bored Sailor 10 months ago
I had a Doctor actual first name Princess. Very nice lady but also about 6 feet tall and very big as in broad shoulders, hands and such.
Huddo's sister 10 months ago
I don't have an issue with these, unless Precious is a spoiled brat because of her name.
TheForrestGreene (he/they/it) 10 months ago
idk if this counts, but there's a girl in one of my classes named beautiful
#23
A place I worked at had a student named MLE. as in “Emily”.
BeesEelsAndPups 10 months ago
I met a guy named FD. I asked what it stood for, and he just said "That's my name, F D", He was probably in his 50s and that was maybe 30 years ago.
#24
Really aggressive "masculine" names like Jagger, Axel, Diesel, Gunner. Also naming siblings very similar names ie: Emma and Emily, Jack and Jake, Taylor and Tyler. No, it's not cute that "they match! "...Let your kids have their own identity!
same goes for Steele, Magnum, Blaze, and Hunter.
BeesEelsAndPups 10 months ago
I named my son Magnum Deathmonger Murdercycle Gunbanger III, just like me and my mother before me.
Scott Rackley 10 months ago
I'm naming mine Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert
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René Sauer 10 months ago
I dunno, Hunter and Axel sound pretty good to me. They aren´t... too "much", like the other ones.
Kelly Scott 10 months ago
I love Theresa Bloomindale's story of the twins named Dirk and Erik. She called them Derek and Eric but her kids called them Dirk and Irk.
M O'Connell 10 months ago
If you have a boy, definitely name him Nitro. His nickname can be "Mike"
#25
When I was around 6 or 7…my dad took me to the doctors. It was a normal day like any other, but I noticed a girl sitting across from me. She looked about my age and had the biggest smile on her face. I then heard the nurse call her name… Precious… Butts? Yes… that was her name. Precious Butts. I was so shocked when I heard that and I tried so hard not to laugh. A couple years later, my dad and I went to Home Depot to pick up paint and who were we checked out by… none other than Princess, Precious Butts’s SISTER, It was great lol
Heffalump 10 months ago
Well, there's really no first name that goes well with Butts, is there?
Robert T 10 months ago
"Big" would work, because "I like Big Butts and I cannot lie" ;-)
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Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
To be fair there's not a lot you can do if the family name is Butts.
Bookworm 10 months ago
You can use a name that's not also a word. I had a science teacher in high school named Heidi Butt.
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Foxglove🇮🇪 10 months ago
In my experience, people of West African heritage use names like Precious, Princess, Emerald, Diamond and the like
BlueFire 8 months ago
We have a doctor at the practice near us whose name is Innocent
Load More Replies... #26
Khaleesi. Or any other name from whatever tv show / movie is popular at the time they're born. By the time they're ten, 99% of the time that name will be all but meaningless to most people, except as a 'remember that thing that nobody cares about any more?' sort of reminder.
CD Mills 10 months ago
I don't have to imagine, I saw hundreds of moms losing their minds about it, and also about Daenerys after the end of Season 8. I laughed every time I saw another mom outraged that their kid's namesake was a Mad as a Hatter. I'm not sure why though, all the signs were there from the very beginning seeing as her family tree was full of crazies.
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I think the word itself sounds quite pretty, but I always chuckle a little because it's a title/rank and not a name in the Game of Thrones world. So it's like naming your child King or Chief XD
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detective miller's hat 10 months ago
The only thing that bothers me about Khaleesi is that it's not a name, it's a title. Why not choose Daenerys?
Auntriarch 10 months ago
I really like Daenerys. But titles are sometimes used for names, like Earl.
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Sarcastic Panda 10 months ago
My little sister is named after a TV show character... Luckily, it's a fairly common name, but still.
Uncle Schmickle 10 months ago
Calese, pronounced as in the above, is the name of a virus which has been released in Australia in an attempt to reduce the rabbit population.
T'Mar of Vulcan 10 months ago
About 10 years after the original Dynasty aired, I taught a few girls named Fallon (I teach 5th grade).
#27
Babygirl. The woman was in her sixties.
BeesEelsAndPups 10 months ago
I knew a grown woman with the name Sunshine. She was a bit of a hippy though, so it fit her pretty well.
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Sarah Gerber 10 months ago
Didn't they used to put "baby girl" or "baby boy" on birth certificates if the parents hadn't decided. It seems like that was on some of my grandparents first bcs, then amended ones, with the name, was obtained later.
Holly Herr 10 months ago
I had a girl student named Toy. There was a girl in first grade, ab-se-dee—spelled Abcde. No joke. Teacher was showing us her registration card. We also had an IamPrecious in the class next door, who had a younger sister with an “Iam” name but can’t remember it.
#28
When I was around 12, I knew a kid named "Store". The f**k kind of name is store?
Jan Rosier 10 months ago
Maybe also releated to where the baby was 'made'... although I hope not.
meow point1 10 months ago
"Sir, ma'am, please desist, or you shall be removed from the premises."
Load More Replies... Thomas51 4 months ago
There's a British radio show where a repeat joke is families being introduced on a late arrival at a formal banquet so: Mr and Mrs Bates, and their young son Master Mr and Mrs Biggun and their son Ivor Mr and Mrs Clock-News, and their daughter, Nina Clock-News. Mr and Mrs Nett and their daughter Casta and so on
Dawn Marie 10 months ago
While I was teaching, I had a student with the last name of Bookstore. Hadn't heard that one before.
CD Mills 10 months ago
I read in a Readers Digest once about a teacher who was teaching kindergartners and they all yarn necklaces with a tag with their name on it. One kid had an odd name. The name? Fruitstand! She thought it was strange, but Hippies gave their kids weird names so she called him Fruitstand all day. She found out on the second day that the tags were two-sided, on one side they had the kid's name and the other side had where the kid was dropped off from the school bus...
#29
Any liquor based name.
You have damned your child to, at the very minimum, a life of stripperdom.
I went to school with a girl named Taquila. Guess what she does for a living.
Huddo's sister 10 months ago
My parents have Brandy, Whiskey and Bourbon, but they are chickens (not my parents lol)
Huddo's sister 10 months ago
Oh, and in high school there were brothers called Jack and Daniel and I always called them Jack Daniels, never their singular names.
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Anthony Elmore 10 months ago (edited)
Reminds me of a babysitter we had growing up. I should say a babysitter and her sister who also tended to look after us. The babysitter was named Brandy and her sister was Tequila. Oh, and it's worth noting that my initials are ALE, so we got kind of a kick out of that.
BeesEelsAndPups 10 months ago
I went to school with a girl named Margarita. She is a lawyer now.
StrangeOne 10 months ago
Tbf, it is a real name. It's a Spanish variation of Margaret.
Load More Replies... Your Local Raccoon 10 months ago
Some drinks are named after people. Margarita is a real name, and common in Spain
Sara Frazer 10 months ago (edited)
I recently encountered a family in public who would not stop *screaming* at their kid named Jameson...poor kid..
#30
My father knew someone in grade school names Jack Hass. When teachers would as his name, he’d say it right out as natural as can be. There was a very good lady in Texas in the 1920s, or so, named Ima Hogg. My last name is Storton. When my first son was on the way, I went around telling people I was going to name him Norton. lol
Robert T 10 months ago
Samantha Janus' father is apparently not called Hugh, but I do know a guy call Michael Hunt and my wife had a tutor called Richard Head. LOL
Auntriarch 10 months ago
A former chief constable surnamed Brain had a son named Richard and they called him Dïck. I mean I was already feeling sorry for him knowing that his father was such an arsëhole.
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Michael Largey 10 months ago
I taught in a school where there were twin sisters with the last name of Pigg. There first names were Ima and Yura. They thought it was hilarious. Which is one way of handling it.
Sarcastic Panda 10 months ago
I've been to Ima Hogg's old house. Yup, that's her name. Yup, everyone laughed.
Nick Brown 10 months ago
We have a mate named JJ [his chosen monicker] Digging deeper it's like Junior-Junior. He's 'X' -the III. X real name is Roland Hill. Middle name Downey. It sounds even better in Bermudian dialect. Some great Grandfather had a sense of humour
#31
As my husband calls them.. the McNugget kids. He worked with a guy that had a McKayla, McKinsley and McKenzie. Dude was a level 4 aerospace engineer with either terrible taste or with a domineering wife that had terrible taste.
Best part was when he found out we have identical twin boys with traditional Italian family names that aren't matching at all. He couldn't understand why we wouldn't have gone with something like Brayden and Brandon.
Listen sir, their faces already match so their names don't have to.
Beak Hookage 10 months ago
I've known a couple of McKenzies. At least one of them went by "Kenzie"
#32
I have an issue with parents who give their kids names they think are cute and clever, without considering the impact having such a name will have on their kids. Like “Chanda Lear”, for instance.
My personal brush with this was a guy I worked with named Huckleberry Finn. Nice guy, and really cute, too, but not as amused by his name as his parents apparently were. He went by Huck, and literally wouldn't respond if you called him Huckleberry; one of the managers would page him on the walkie (we worked at Target) and liked to call him “Huckleberry”, but he would straight-up ignore her until she called him Huck.
I asked him once if his parents were Mark Twain fans. He said, “no, they were just cruel.”
Parents need to remember that their kids, not they, are the ones who have to go through life with the “clever” names they're given.
Mike F 10 months ago
Chanda Lear sounds like a drag name. I knew 2 guys who did drag, 1 was Marsha Dimes and the other was Velveeta.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I was NAMED after a chandelier, but at least my grandma suggested its composition (crystal) as a name and not the actual noun itself XD
#33
My mother once had a student named Cinderella Famous Aquanet.
I had a friend who had a student named Tyquan Doe ( Tai Kwan Do)
When I used to substitute teach, I had two kids in different classes that had crazy names.
A little girl named Nicorette. And a little boy named Kodiak Baer Trapp.
Jan Rosier 10 months ago
I can top this one ! Yes I can ! DD (we live in Dutchspeaking part of Belgium) once had schoolmate named 'Cinder'. Guess what her younger sister's name was. Yes................... Ella.
Foxglove🇮🇪 10 months ago
Growing up, we had a neighbour called Sam, he was married to Ella. Salmonella.
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Feathered Dinosaur 10 months ago
That's why it's against the law im Germany to name your child ridiculous names
#34
When I was growing up, we had two sisters as family friends. Candy and Sugar. Their last name was Cain.
#35
Bout 8 years ago the New Zealand Government took legal action to prevent a couple calling their child a**l.
Beak Hookage 10 months ago
If only that's what those moron parents had had that night instead.
Dog Mom to Zoe 10 months ago
There was another where the court prevented a couple from calling their son Satan.
Michael Largey 10 months ago
Maybe the judge should have babysat with the kid a couple of nights before rendering his decision.
Load More Replies... #36
I was at the grocery store checking out with groceries and I saw these two girls easily 8 trying to fight each other to get onto the mechanical pony at the front of the store. The Mother yells from her check stand Karma, Ocean stop and get off and come here. I watched as both ignored her completely and went on as if she didn't exist. On the way out of the store I said Great Mom name your children after two forces not even remotely controlled by mankind. She heard me.
cryssH 10 months ago
and that is why it takes a village to raise a child.
Load More Replies... #37
Uber (a parent actually named their kid this).
#38
Either a Jr or a rework of their own name. Narcissism at its finest. (Also I went to school with a girl named Neila. Her dad’s name is Neil. But they obviously didn’t think it through because everyone called her Alien.).
NanaJo430 10 months ago
I knew a man named Dan once. His 3 girls were Danielle, Danita, and Danika.
Auntriarch 10 months ago
I knew a Johnna. It didn't sound bad, but yes she was named after her father.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 10 months ago
Kids can be jerks, but that meanness shouldn't be a pass. Neila isn't that horrible of a name.
Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
Unless she was expected to be on her knees a lot.
Load More Replies... Mike F 10 months ago
I had a neighbor about 25 years ago who was infatuated with his own name, his name is Paul, so naturally, his adopted son was renamed Paul, and his daughter is Paulisha. SMH
Dawn Marie 10 months ago
Rework of their own name: "Kellynn" Mom was Kelly and Dad was Lynn. Wonderful people and I miss them dearly.
T'Mar of Vulcan 10 months ago
Taught kids who were named Brian and Briana after their dad. Third kid was named Bradley.
#39
Anything that is a play on the last name. S**t like North West. I knew a family growing up named Weather. Named their kids Sunny, Stormy, Windy.
Multa Nocte 10 months ago
Yeah, North West is a pretty stupid name. Don't know what her parents were thinking of to saddle her with something so atrocious. Whoops! "Thinking." There's my mistake!
StrangeOne 10 months ago
I went to school with a girl named Summer. She has a sister named Sandy. Their mom was named Star.
Rachael Smith 10 months ago
I know of a family with Waters as their last name. 10 kids and every single one has a name like Summer, Spring, Crystal, etc.
#40
I recently met a woman who's baby boy was called “Chadleigh”. To be polite I went along (mostly) without judgment. However she went on for 20 minutes about how it wasn't pronounced “Chad-lee”, it was “Chad-LAY Remington”. Remington was not his last name. She was adamant his entire first name was Chaleigh Remington. When I told her my Daughters name she said “Oh…Vintage. Okay then I guess.” Then banged on about how tragic it is when parents give their kids boring names that the kids have to live with…Okay lady.
#41
Apple.
Beak Hookage 10 months ago
Back in the day, the joke was that the parents secretly hoped Apple would one day get together with Peaches Geldof and make a fruit salad.
WhatEvenIsLife 10 months ago
Never understood the hate for Apple. I think it's kind of a sweet name. And at least it's not spelled in some insane way that makes it impossible to pronounce.
#43
I know a woman named Lovely ...and she really is not I suspect her parents were optimists...but she’s a horrible person and no not pretty either.
I just used her last name after a while.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
My parents gave me the middle name Joy and I am definitely not XD
Nichole Harris 10 months ago
Not true!!! Your comments frequently bring me joy 😊
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Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
My parents couldn't very well call me Miserable Cumt now could they?
#44
When I was a teenager(15) I was growing up in the UK. I would babysit for many of the people in the neighborhood, which was a mix of American and British families. This particular family was an American family. Their daughter who was 19 had had a baby and needed me to watch him for a short time. Of Course it was no problem. His mom called him Nagie. I thought it was cute. When she came to pick him up I asked her where she got his name. She told me it was French and his full name is Me’nage a’ trois. I just answered “OH”. Even at 15 I knew what that meant. I could not understand why someone in her family didn’t tell her.
Yes this is a very true story.
Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
OK, I'll do it. Something is either true or it isn't, same a 'unique' - you can't use modifiers.
#45
My daughter’s kindergarten teacher had a student registered as Pharpel. When the mother learned her son was being addressed as such she exclaimed, “His name is Parnell !” The teacher was all apologetic that the school record had his name wrong. The mother replied, “That’s how we spell Parnell !”
CD Mills 10 months ago
Are those pronounced differently? Because when I read the names they came out sounding the same to me.
Load More Replies... #46
I taught a girl named Ra'Jame. Looking at that name, I bet you could think of three or four different ways to pronounce it.
They're wrong. I guarantee you that no matter what you are thinking, it's wrong.
Ready for the real pronunciation?
You sure?
Okay….
Ray Jean.
No, not a typo. Ray Jean. With an "n". And a long "e" sound.
Her parents were either illiterate or drunk. Or both. That poor kid.
René Sauer 10 months ago
I was under the impression that languages have rules about how stuff is pronounced. And that people can´t just go around and decide to pronounce stuff differently.
CD Mills 10 months ago
My last Semester of College I had to get up to 12 credits and I had fulfilled all requirements on my degree except for one class so I took a Business English class and a Theater class................On the first day of my BE class, the instructor started on personal names. The first thing she told us was that when it comes to personal names you throw ALL the rules out the window. She said if someone says their name is spelled Xyzabc and said it was pronounced Joe they were always 100% correct!
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#47
I came across someone named Immaculate today lmao.
Jan Rosier 10 months ago
Colleague in Spain is called that, and a local colleague (from Chile) is named Maria-Paz
Load More Replies... BeesEelsAndPups 10 months ago
I've known lots of girls with names like this. Esperanza, Immaculata (only once), Constanza, etc. I also knew American women named Prudence and Constance
Load More Replies... Foxglove🇮🇪 10 months ago
Names like Immaculate, Asdumpta, Attracts used to be not-uncommon in Ireland, much less so now (except for nuns, who often takes that kind of name). A friend's mother introduced herself to some children: "hi, I'm Attracta". Little boy said "you look like a lady, not a tractor" :)
#48
I know someone who named their daughter Neveah and 3 years later named their son Messiah.
Robert T 10 months ago
I would roll around on the floor laughing if the kid changed his name to Brian when he grows up! :D
Load More Replies... #49
This reminded me of three names that made me cringe for the poor girls that had them. The first was a 16 year old girl named Heaven. She was a cashier at a gas station I used to stop at a lot and she heard almost every variation of “how do I get into Heaven?” by every creeper that she rang up. She handled herself well, but she told me how old it got and how much she hated her name. The station would not allow her to remove her name tag or use one with anything other than her legal name (so no middle name or anything).
The second was my neighbors’ firstborn- a little girl named Desire. Her name was given in such a heartfelt way. They had tried for many years to have a child with many miscarriages and a stillbirth. She was their heart’s desire more than anything. But still, I know that name will be difficult to live with.
The last was a young woman that was in some of my university classes with me. Her name was Princess. Her parents gave her that name when she was born right after they arrived in the US. She said they chose it because they wanted her to have a name in English for their new life in America, and picked what they found to be pretty and feminine even though they didn’t speak any English. She said she would never change it out of respect for her parents and how much they sacrificed for her to be born in the US, but she wished they picked something else pretty much daily. Another name with a sweet meaningful story that had unfortunate consequences for the child.
#50
Princess. Tiara. Diamond
I get it, she’s precious.
#51
My mom wanted to name me "Puck". It's one letter away from the Swedish equivalent of dumb**s. It's like naming your child Dum or Dolt. Thank f**k my dad didn't let that fly. Wtf was she thinking?
#52
My mom used to work on a maternity ward. One mum called her boy Diesel.
Hassel Davidhoff 10 months ago
This does indeed seem to be true and oh my fücken god.
Load More Replies... Annabel Again 10 months ago
My ex had a dog named that who was a part wolf hybrid. That was a great dog.
#53
Taking foreign names and butchering them because “they’re too hard to spell or say”. Yeah, it’s not English or Latin based, so it does not look familiar, if you don’t like that it is foreign, then why choose it? Aidan is not aydynn, Síobhan is not Shivaughn (wtf is that) and I will laugh in your face if your “source” is an American website with no actual credit to it when the name is Irish, check Irish websites, Gaeilge (not Gaelic) is our language, so we sort of do know what we’re talking about.
Don’t take a name from elsewhere and butcher it, just don’t, and don’t give Irish surnames to your kid without checking their meaning first. Kennedy actually means “The chieftain’s helmet”, does that sound like a name for your daughter? Really? Dylan is Welsh and means “son of the sea”, Brannagh is Irish and means “Welshman”. By their very definitions, they’re not female. Cailin is pronounced “Cah-leen”, not Kay-lynn so don’t get annoyed if Irish people call you the former, thankfully, that is a feminine word and means “Girl” in Gaeilge. If you want to call your daughter these names, no one can stop you, but I will not understand why you would and if you are going to do it, learn the meaning, for the love of whatever you believe in, learn it.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I have a feeling that OP is the kind of person who also really hates when Americans say that they have Irish ancestry.
PandaGoPanda 10 months ago
don't we all .... although I don't think anyone will complain if they say Irish ancestry, it's when they tell you they're Irish but turn out only to be descended from an Irishman who left for America four generations ago and the person has never set foot in Eire in their lives.
Load More Replies... Colleen Glim 10 months ago
Thank you for providing me with the original spelling of my name. I kinda like it better now
StrangeOne 10 months ago
Does anyone really put that much thought into other's name meanings? I'll admit I put in some thought and consideration to the meaning of my daughter's name, and I do mention it now and then. Maybe a once or twice a year. But not often do I really think of the meaning of her name anymore. I barely use her middle name, unless she's in trouble or something.
T'Mar of Vulcan 10 months ago
I must say, I disagree with this. Why use the Gaelic spelling if it's going to end up with your child being called "See-oh-bahn" all the time? If you like Siobhan and want it pronounced correctly in a place where people don't understand Gaelic spellings, then spell it how you like. Shevaughn or whatever, Who cares?
Kelly Scott 10 months ago (edited)
I always thought Siobhan was pronounced "shih-VAHN". If not, then how IS it pronounced?
Upstaged75 10 months ago
It IS! I have a friend with that name. Not sure what this person is talking about.
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Slapdash1 10 months ago
Hot dámn. More irish than padraig o'malley, the irish dean of the irish department at the university of irish in irishtown, ireland. You know the one. Between the bog and the hedges.
Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
Irishtown in Ireland with capital 'I' you mean?
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Therese Clarke 10 months ago
My cousin was supposed to be Sinaed. But mom (who was Irish) was out of it after the birth and dad didn't know how to spell it. My cousin has gone through life having to explain here name. (I won't put it here for privacy reason as it is unique although not intended to be)
HeavyMetalHeart 10 months ago
I don’t think many people consider the old meaning of names these days. Once something is long-established as a name, I really don’t think it matters.
#54
I once met a hippie family. The dad was Phil, the mom was Synesthesia Wild, and the daughters were Playalina, and twins Kissandra and Kissy Mae. I thought I had misheard the twins names, but then the mom said, “their names both begin with Kiss” and realized I hadn’t. I thought those names would set the girls up for bullying and worse as they grew up (they were probably 2 and 4 at the time).
I heard from someone else that the parents had given the children LSD at a big party. I often wonder whatever happened to those kids.
StrangeOne 10 months ago
Again, bullies will bully, no matter what. Even if you gave your name a very traditional, common name. "Mary, Mary quite contrary..." "Hey, Heather, how's the weather" "Heather, Heather light as a feather" "Stephanie Step on me" "Rude Jude" "Aldo Bald-o"
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
Yep! That was the main teasing I got for my name - Crystal - the kids would go "Crystal pistol Crystal pistol!" and now I'm like... I don't think we kids even really knew what guns were other than what we saw cops and cowboys use on TV, and even so, "crystal pistol" is meaningless, but because they would yell it at me in a mean-spirited fashion with the intent to hurt my feelings, it hurt my feelings XD (I also got called Chia Pet a lot, but that was because of my hair!)
Load More Replies... #55
Any notable brand names. Chanel, Celine, Armani, Versace.. Bonus points if they have a few kids and all of them are named after brands. Just... why?
StrangeOne 10 months ago
Which are brands named after their designers, who have real names in their region.
#56
Me and my mum ran into a girl, around 6 years old. She said, my name is a-b-c-d-e! My mum laughed and told her good job on the alphabet. The parents, one of which was definitely drunk, said that’s her name. Abcde. I could help but turn around to hide my laughter. Poor girl. This was last year.
oh, and Kristen, only spelled Kris-10. Like at least spell it. I like the name, if you don’t spell it like that. Also, those kinds of names makes the programming system in my dads company not work for that client, so it makes life complicated. And, I have to assume, we kids aren’t the nicest, so there’s that.
Anne Reid 10 months ago
I taught a class that had two kids with that name, but one of each pronunciation. They didn’t like each other & would make fun of how the other one said her name.
Load More Replies... #57
I was doing a presentence report interview. For the family section, I asked the defendant what her kids' names were. She said she named one daughter “My Kisses" and the other daughter “Luv Deep.”
I wondered if those poor girls used their real names on stage 20 years later, when they were both undoubtedly stripping…
#58
There was a kid I went to school with who had the first name Dietary. The parents got the idea from a hospital worker who had a badge on who worked in Dietary and thought that was her name, so they named their son Dietary!
#59
Chardonnay.
Anne Reid 10 months ago
Taught a class with twin girls…Chardonnay & Cabernet.
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#60
Names that folks spell wrong for no reason other than to be different.
Looking at you Jaymes, Kevyn and Geoff.
PandaGoPanda 10 months ago
What ...? Geoff is short for Geoffrey, not so popular these days but a pretty common name nonetheless.
#61
Boy/girl twins - Peter and Peta.
Broccoli 10 months ago
If you pronounce it in a bri’ish accent you might not be able to tell one from the other
Huddo's sister 10 months ago
How would you pronounce them to sound different. They sound the same in Australia.
Load More Replies... #62
There was a couple who loved Celine Dion’s music. They had two daughters, one named Celine and one name Dion.
PandaGoPanda 10 months ago
And the older sister stunned everyone on America's Got Talent with her amazing rendition of a Celine Dion song.
#63
Jayden, or any bastardization of two or more words that make no damn sense.
HeavyMetalHeart 10 months ago
Most names don’t make sense, as such. Most of them were “made up” at some point. Jayden seems pretty normal to me.
Huddo's sister 10 months ago
Jayden has been around for at least 25 years in Australia and it doesn't sound bad. How is it a bastardisation? Of what?
#64
Saw a r/AITA post about someone's sister naming their kid "Anakin Skywalker Lastname" without ever having seen a Star Wars movie. The whole post, I was just thinking "Poor, poor kid..".
Spencer's slave no longer 10 months ago
That particular family hit the news, they couldn't get a passport for the child, something to do with copyright I think.
Nichole Harris 10 months ago
OMG I remember that! I found it hilarious 😂 I thought those parents were sooooooo dumb
Load More Replies... #65
My ex was in the Air Force with a guy who refused to give his whole name when instructed to they ended up court marshaling him. Even then he would not say his full name so finally the judge told him to whisper his name to him the guy said his full name was Julius Master Bates!! Thankfully he was told he would only have to say his 1st and last name. My ex asked why he didn't change his name and he said that he couldn't dishonor his family like that!!
BROmanicus85 10 months ago
It's "court martial", not "court marshal"!!!!!! English is not my native language and even I know that! :))
#66
Espn.
René Sauer 10 months ago
Let me guess: the name is actually something completely different, but this is how mom decided it should be spelled.
#68
I came onto this thread to see if anyone hated my name.
Anyway, I’d like to nominate twin’s names.
Some twins’ names are okay, But Molly and Maddy are on thin ice. Brayden and Aiden are WAY too close. Taylor and Tyler? Ella and Emma?
There were two sisters that went to my school, both named Olivia.
Family friends named their two daughters Emma and Emma-Kate.
I knew one family who named their girls Rose, Daisy, Lily and Poppy. They named their boys Ash, Birch, and Thorne.
Don’t give your kids matching names.
Huddo's sister 10 months ago
I like flower names for siblings. One of my students has siblings Willow, Poppy and Clover which is nice. Funny though, the eldest is a boy named Charlie.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
We had twin employees once. They were both named Santa Maria for their first name. 100% serious. They had different middle names, but were both named Santa Maria. One went by Santa and the other went by her middle name XD
Multa Nocte 10 months ago
Since the OP posts under "doorknobsandboxes," I can say that I don't really care for that name.
StrangeOne 10 months ago
Is it doorknob sandboxes? Or doorknobs and boxes?
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 10 months ago (edited)
Old riddle - "Bob's mom had three children. The oldest of the three was named April. The next was named May. What was the name of the youngest child?"
Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
The flower names were often used for the maids in Victorian households. It didn't matter what their actual name was, they were given a name that they would be known by and that was it.
Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
Nothing, though 'Petunia' is pushing it a bit for me.
Load More Replies... zovjraar me 10 months ago
mum wanted to name her kids Anna and Andy... so she could have a Raggedy Ann and Andy and dress them up as such for Halloween. She did get an Anna (not me), and Andrew for the middle name of my brother. my brother and i did get dressed up as the Raggedys one Halloween. dad named me but didn't realize i would become an atheist... my first and middle names mean "Child of God" and "Heavenly".
#69
I have two.
A lady in my hometown gave birth to a little girl. When they came in to fill out necessary paperwork and get the little one's name, the mama said “ Her name is Femahly".: When asked if that was a family name, the mama told them no, that the nursery staff had named her. When they questioned that, mama said, “It's right there on that pink card in her bed. See, it says F E M A L E. Femahly".
Another, woman gives birth to twin boys. She wanted something a bit unusual so one was named Lemangelo; the other was named Orahngelo. They weren't spelled like these, however. They were Lemonjello and Orangejello (lemon jello…orange jello).
HardBoiledBlonde 10 months ago
They missed one (another that you surely have heard): twin girls named Ora Lee and Recta Lee.
#70
When I was a freshman in college, the resident assistant at my dormitory was Irish-American with the last name Lingaas. A notoriously foul-mouthed guy walked up and said “So how’s your cousin Connie?” She looked stunned and asked “How did you know I had a cousin named Connie?”
Yes, her cousin’s name was Connie Lingaas. And no, it never occurred to her parents that there was anything wrong with the name.
My oldest sister was a candy striper in high school. One of the girls she worked with was named Nancy Drew. She was a bit stockier than the girl in the books but wore a similar hairstyle. I wonder how many jokes she had to put up with.
Upstaged75 10 months ago
In college my friends and I had a long running joke about Phil Latio and Connie Lingus.
René Sauer 10 months ago
Oh, the first one took me a second to get it. but what´s so weird about the second one?
#71
I knew many a tribal woman with Western names, all of them meaningful and sweet. “Princess”, “Sweetness”, and my personal favourite “Pudding”.
There was one woman named “NoFurniture” as her mother had … no furniture.
Several Gonorrheas and Syphilis. Women in labour asking medical students their name, so they could call their child after the doctor who helped them. That does make me cross.
But the worst here in the UK is a “Tsofia”. From a woman who wanted her child to have a unique spelling. Of course no one knew how to pronounce it, which irritated her immensely. Just stop. It’s a lovely name and it is spelled Sofia!
T'Mar of Vulcan 10 months ago
Have met a few Zimbabweans with names like Shakespeare and Solar Power. Recently had exterminators come to our house and one had an odd name like the above (can't remember now). Bro asks, "Are you from Zim?" Guy was like, "How did you know?!!" LOL.
Michael Largey 10 months ago
I worked for a boss whose parents should have named him "Bungalow" (Nothing upstairs.)
#72
I had some tenants who adopted a little girl named Pestilence. Thankfully, they changed it as soon as they adopted her and she was very young so she wouldn’t have endured any ridicule yet.
Also know of a couple named Harry and Rosie Butt. Poor Harry had no choice but I can’t believe Rosie didn’t just keep her maiden name!
Kathy Wilbourne 10 months ago
My friend was planning to name his son Knoah. To his credit, when I said, "oh, please don't do that to the poor kid", he actually thought about it and chose something that wouldn't require spelling it every time. Butt is a common last name in Kashmir and, I believe, Pakistan. So there's no inherent weird associations with it, but some people from other cultures seem to assume there is. I knewr a wonderful man I knew named Bashir Butt. In his culture, it's a good name, but I'm so glad he didn't grow up in the US or UK, where he would have been constantly ridiculed.
Upstaged75 10 months ago
There's a well known gynecologist in my area named Harold Beavers. I guess he was predestined for his job. :) Or he had cruel parents.
#73
I knew twins named Saffron and Sapphire.
Huddo's sister 10 months ago
I like these, even as twins. I met sisters named Anise and Acasia that I thought were lovely.
#74
Many years ago, when my daughter was an infant, I moved into a 4-plex. Because my daughter was still nursing, I kept her in bed with me at night. After all, if she can eat while she’s sleeping, it’s only fair that I should be able to sleep while she’s eating.
Anyway, I woke up in the wee hours because the weirdo upstairs had broken into my unit and was in the process of crawling into my bed. I freaked out - mainly because I didn’t know if the weirdo was after me or my daughter. I jumped out of the bed screaming and yelling and chased this weirdo’s scrawny ass out of my home. Then I called the police.
While waiting, I started looking around to see if I could figure out how he got in. I knew I had locked the deadbolt, but when he ran out, he didn’t unlock the door. Which means that he prepared in advance for a quick getaway. I finally discovered that he had removed my kitchen window - frame and all. Left his tools and clothes on the ground under the window.
Police arrived, and they did some investigating of their own. They discovered that there were tool marks on ALL the windows and told me, “This guy was coming in.” Believe it or not, the idiot was still hanging around in the yard outside when the police came. So, they arrested him.
I never learned his name until we went to court - Harry Legg. THAT’s when my sense of humor finally kicked in.
HeavyMetalHeart 10 months ago
Harry doesn’t sound the same as Hairy in a lot of accents/dialects. I had to think for a while before I understood why that name would be strange. It’s Hah-ree v Hay-ree for me, quite different.
Ava Shores 10 months ago
In middle school I had a friend named Karen Arms. Her father’s name was Harry.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I think it would have been better told if OP had STARTED it with "Okay, so here's the story of Harry Leggs..." and then recounted her experience with him. XD
Load More Replies... #75
Naming your kid any gem like diamond, any article of jewelry, "Faith", "Charity", or anything like that is awful (in my opinion).
Vanessa Steis 10 months ago
I think Ruby would work. Or Jade. I find these to be quite pretty as names.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
My name's Crystal. I guess OP would hate my parents XD
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The Short Lady 10 months ago
The one I hate is Chasity. Chastity would be bad enough, but misspelling it is awful.
zovjraar me 10 months ago
i knew a Felicity and she was the meanest chick ever. also came across a Constance and she was a total b*tch.
Lorraine R 10 months ago (edited)
Jade: jade (plural jades) A horse too old to be put to work. Synonyms: nag, yaud (especially derogatory) A bad-tempered or disreputable woman.
#76
Naming their child after the parent's grandma or something like that. I get it's meant to be special and unique to the family, but naming a baby girl Gertrude or something like that in 2020s is pretty selfish. You might find it meaningful, but your kid is going to stand out for the wrong reason right off the bat.
Lorraine R 10 months ago
For Gertrude, you could call her Trudy. My grandmother and her sisters were Julia, Clara, and Lydia. Great-aunts were Elizabeth, Ella, and Eva. Nothing wong with those.
Lee Gilliland 10 months ago
In my family the first born girl in a generation was "Hedwig". It was bad enough before, but my sister's had an AWFUL time since Harry Potter.
Sophie 10 months ago
This name also have nothing to do with the rest, as I wrote at some. It is still better to have a Gertrude than a Navaeh or a Ashlighejehhfjlf or etc. Turdy and Gerty is still better and nicer.
Khavrinen 10 months ago (edited)
My best friend in college was named after her Grandmother, and her problem wasn't with it sounding old-fashioned, it was with convincing people it really was supposed to be the way she spelled it. Her name was "Bethene" ( pronounced 'Beth-een' ), and everybody wanted to make it "Bethany" -- and would argue with her about how to say/spell her own name. Luckily, she could just use "Beth" most of the time, unless it had to be written down on some paperwork.
Huddo's sister 10 months ago (edited)
I don't see any problem with that. Especially as most have come back in fashion. Many Asian people who come to Australia will have an English name as well as their native one and they often choose older ones.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
Yep! My ex's parents are Chinese immigrants (to America) and his dad goes by Stephen/Steve here. His mom still goes by her Chinese first name and didn't take an Americanized name. My ex was born here and he has a normal, very traditional first name (James) and a Chinese middle name that matches the generational naming tradition of his family (every child of a certain generation within the family has a middle name that starts with a certain Chinese character.)
Load More Replies... #77
Giving girls names traditionally associated with boys.
Obviously I’m a recipient of same. I like that my name sounds good with my maiden name. Beyond that, it’s been a huhYOOGE pain in any number of ways.
Then there are the bo cutesy versions:
Charlie, Charlie, Charli, Charlee
Tommi, Tomi
Bobbi, Bobbie, Billie - these are not recent vintage. I know a Bobbie who’s over 60, and new someone whose grandmother was named Billie. Or Billy.
Michael. Really
I also can’t stand it when people give their kids names that are more commonly seen as surnames. I’ve met people whose first names were Page, Sloan, Watson, Walker, Sutherland, and Cunningham. And the currently popular Madison. Or Madysyn. (Yes, I’ve actually seen this). I guess they think it makes their kids sound ‘classy,’ in a Masterpiece Theatre-ey kind of way. Oddly, you never see a kid whose first name is Kowalewski or Weinstein, or Alafouzos or Schimmelschmidt.
Then there are the cutesy, yet deranged spellings:
Thyphynee - for Tiffany. Which is a trashy name to being with. When are they going to abandon this in favor of Vancleefenarpels ??
Ayshleigh - for Ashley.
Gieniffere - Jennifer
Megyn - some famous chick has her name spelled like this. Every time I see her on TV or read her name somewhere, I’m immediately reminded that I’m a few months late for my gyno appointment.
Kenneth Barns 10 months ago
"Tiffany is a trashy name to begin with ..." Hey, the name 'Tiffany' dates back in French 800 years, and over 400 years in English! Look up the "Tiffany Effect".
iseefractals 10 months ago
Yeah....and? The state where that name is most popular is Florida. That you can trace the history of the name waaaay back, doesn't change which area's of society currently fancy that name more frequently. The same ones that come up with names like hashtag, Tragedeigh, and Labia.
Load More Replies... zovjraar me 10 months ago
i love "boys" names for girls! Charlie, Toni, and Billie specifically.
Hassel Davidhoff 10 months ago
They were addressing how odd it is as a girl's name. I met a girl named Michael once when I was in Uni and I never did figure out what the fück her parents were smoking, despite trying.
Load More Replies... HeavyMetalHeart 10 months ago
I think unisex names are becoming the norm. There have always been some and I think it’s fine.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
So OP really is saying they hate their own parents, since their name on Quora is "Barrie Creedon Wennberg" and that is TWO things they sh!t on - boy names for a girl (gasp!) and boy-cutesy version as well (with the -ie ending.) Personally, I disagree with all of OP's opinions, including that "Tiffany" is an inherently trashy name to begin with.
iseefractals 10 months ago
What a shock. You disagree with reasonable, and common criticism. OP specified that they were the victim of the very thing they're criticizing, so why exactly do you think that's a mic drop insight? As for Tiffany....the state where that name is most popular is Florida.
Load More Replies... Mark Alexander 10 months ago
I grew up with girls with all of those "boys" names and never gave their names a second thought.
#78
Chadwick. Why. Just why.
StrangeOne 10 months ago
Because it's a real name. I swear some people just don't like a name.
Anthony Elmore 10 months ago
Hey, the list is "dumbest baby names", not "baby names that aren't real". There could be a long and colorful history of Chadwicks and OP would like the parents of all of them to feel bad.
Load More Replies...
Kabuki Kitsune 10 months ago
It's an old Gaelic name. Chadwick is an anglicized spelling for the traditional Ceadwic (pronounced the same way). It comes from the Old English words ceadda, meaning "warrior", and wic, meaning "dwelling" or "settlement". Roughly translated, it means "Great Warrior who protects the home."
What do you think ?
Annik Perrot 10 months ago
In France, and I think in most of Europe, the registrar has the right to refuse à name if it's ridiculous or damageable to the kid, or even if it goes badly with the last name. The parents can then go to court if they disagree.
Bryn 10 months ago
Same in Australia (though names do slip by, google the story of the newswoman who named her son methamphetamine :) it's really funny). I wish the US would adopt it. I'm all for freedom of expression but parents need to think about their kids as adults.
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The Doom Song 10 months ago
Oh dear lord. Only got through a handful of these and now I have a headache from face palming.
Mike F 10 months ago (edited)
Please, tell us why! I imagine that life sure ain't easy for a boy named Sue.
Load More Replies... Enuya 10 months ago
The more I read lists like this one, the more I appreciate my parents. They didn't name my sister Samanta even though they liked the name - because it is very uncommon name in our country and they worried that other children would be laughing at her. And here I read about parents naming their children Uterus or Chlamydia, without caring about any consequences. There really should be some tests and permits before you're allowed to have children.
Warren Peece 10 months ago
Different names in different places. I used to know a Vietnamese woman named "Bîtch".
Child of the Stars 10 months ago
To any soon-to-be parent who needs to hear this: you are not special. Your child is not special. They do not need a special name. Name them Mary or John and be done with it.
brandyy17 10 months ago
if ur gonna do some crazy name make it the middle name and first name a normal name. like me and my husband thought of the name maximilian danger. we wont spell it maximillion like idiots but the correct way maximilian. that way hes got a normal name even max is normal. he can even have fun with his name if he wants to b an athlete or in a rock band like my husband. he could also chose to keep his middle name a secret and still have a normal name. the school districts in our area dont require middle names for year books or records. ive seen ppl make their kids first name danger and just hope their middle name is normal but 9 outta 10 times its not. for crying out loud if u wanna give ur kid a not normal name at least make the first or middle a normal one so they could choose wat to b called. like my husband has a normal name but no middle name. his first name is john-patrick no middle name. he chose to mix them together and b called jack. its very simple to b different and normal at the same time but nope ppl gotta get weird about it and make their kids sound like a cartoon character or look like their name is some alien language.
Lee Gilliland 10 months ago
There are very good reasons some nations require approval of children's names, and these are most of them.
Annik Perrot 10 months ago
In France, and I think in most of Europe, the registrar has the right to refuse à name if it's ridiculous or damageable to the kid, or even if it goes badly with the last name. The parents can then go to court if they disagree.
Bryn 10 months ago
Same in Australia (though names do slip by, google the story of the newswoman who named her son methamphetamine :) it's really funny). I wish the US would adopt it. I'm all for freedom of expression but parents need to think about their kids as adults.
Load More Replies... The Doom Song 10 months ago
Oh dear lord. Only got through a handful of these and now I have a headache from face palming.
Mike F 10 months ago (edited)
Please, tell us why! I imagine that life sure ain't easy for a boy named Sue.
Load More Replies... Enuya 10 months ago
The more I read lists like this one, the more I appreciate my parents. They didn't name my sister Samanta even though they liked the name - because it is very uncommon name in our country and they worried that other children would be laughing at her. And here I read about parents naming their children Uterus or Chlamydia, without caring about any consequences. There really should be some tests and permits before you're allowed to have children.
Warren Peece 10 months ago
Different names in different places. I used to know a Vietnamese woman named "Bîtch".
Child of the Stars 10 months ago
To any soon-to-be parent who needs to hear this: you are not special. Your child is not special. They do not need a special name. Name them Mary or John and be done with it.
brandyy17 10 months ago
if ur gonna do some crazy name make it the middle name and first name a normal name. like me and my husband thought of the name maximilian danger. we wont spell it maximillion like idiots but the correct way maximilian. that way hes got a normal name even max is normal. he can even have fun with his name if he wants to b an athlete or in a rock band like my husband. he could also chose to keep his middle name a secret and still have a normal name. the school districts in our area dont require middle names for year books or records. ive seen ppl make their kids first name danger and just hope their middle name is normal but 9 outta 10 times its not. for crying out loud if u wanna give ur kid a not normal name at least make the first or middle a normal one so they could choose wat to b called. like my husband has a normal name but no middle name. his first name is john-patrick no middle name. he chose to mix them together and b called jack. its very simple to b different and normal at the same time but nope ppl gotta get weird about it and make their kids sound like a cartoon character or look like their name is some alien language.
Lee Gilliland 10 months ago
There are very good reasons some nations require approval of children's names, and these are most of them.
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