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I'm fine. What are you talking about, you do not look fat in those jeans. I'll give you a call.

We lie all the time. And we get away with it quite often, too. But some folks push their made-up narrative so far, it's hard to imagine anyone actually believing them.

So they end up on the subreddit r/thatHappened. Its members share evidence of "people telling outrageous tall tales that would make Walter Mitty proud" and they have compiled quite the archive since the creation of this online community in 2012.

Here are some of its best gems.

#1

From Cursed Comments

From Cursed Comments

ya_boi01 , deborahhowarth9 Report

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope you don't mind him losing his fertility to a totally preventable case of the mumps, and having no biological grandchildren?

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#2

Jesus Christ. What An Idiot

Jesus Christ. What An Idiot

or_gasm Report

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol, this one should be number one for the massive cringe value.

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Sometimes people lie just to inflate their image—some think this motivation is the reason behind President Donald Trump's demonstrably false statement that his Inauguration crowd was bigger than President Barack Obama's first one. But people also lie to cover up bad behavior, as American swimmer Ryan Lochte did during the 2016 Summer Olympics by claiming to have been robbed at gunpoint at a gas station when, in fact, he and his teammates, drunk after a party, had been confronted by armed security guards after damaging property.

We can find similar examples even in fields that are dedicated to the search for eternal truth. And one doesn't have to look far, either. Take the physicist Jan Hendrik Schön, for example, whose purported breakthroughs in molecular semiconductor research proved to be fraudulent.

#3

Imagine Getting Called Out Like That, By Harry Styles Himself

Imagine Getting Called Out Like That, By Harry Styles Himself

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He swore to God. Imagine 'god' profile also replying: Stop using me for your lies, Mike.

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#4

Not Really Sure What Is There To Brag About Anyways

Not Really Sure What Is There To Brag About Anyways

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#5

Running A 5k In 10 Minutes

Running A 5k In 10 Minutes

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Lying is something many of us are very good at. We do it while interacting with strangers, co-workers, friends, and loved ones. Turns out, our capacity for dishonesty is as fundamental to us as our need to trust others, which ironically makes us terrible at detecting lies. Being deceitful is woven into us, so much so that it would be truthful to say that to lie is human.

The ubiquity of lying was first documented systematically two decades ago by Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara. DePaulo and her colleagues asked 147 adults to jot down for a week every instance they tried to mislead someone. The researchers discovered that the subjects lied on average one or two times a day. Most of these untruths were innocuous, intended to hide one's inadequacies or to protect the feelings of others. Some lies were excuses (one subject blamed the failure to take out the garbage on not knowing where it needed to go). Yet other lies, such as a claim of being a diplomat's son, were aimed at presenting a false image. While these were minor transgressions, a later study by DePaulo and other colleagues involving a similar sample indicated that most people have, at some point, told one or more "serious lies", like hiding an affair from a spouse, or making false claims on a college application.

#6

How Does She Expect Anyone To Believe Her? My Mother Sent Me This From Our Neighborhood Facebook Group

How Does She Expect Anyone To Believe Her? My Mother Sent Me This From Our Neighborhood Facebook Group

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I read here is "I fantasized about committing assault on strangers to to promote my snake oil"

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#8

And Then The Coronavirus Clapped

And Then The Coronavirus Clapped

flopsychops Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It may be "incredibly easy" according to this tweeter, but I'm pretty impressed by anyone who can accidentally swallow an entire mask by accident.

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Researchers suggest that lying as a behavior arose pretty soon after the emergence of language. The ability to manipulate others without using physical force likely conferred an advantage in the competition for resources and mates, akin to the evolution of deceptive strategies in the animal kingdom, such as camouflage.

"Lying is so easy compared to other ways of gaining power," Sissela Bok, an ethicist at Harvard University who's one of the most prominent thinkers on the subject, told Nat Geo. "It's much easier to lie in order to get somebody's money or wealth than to hit them over the head or rob a bank.

"Experts are learning that we're prone to believe some lies even when they're easily contradicted by clear evidence. These insights suggest that our proclivity for deceiving others, and our vulnerability to being deceived, are especially consequential in the age of social media.

So in the case of r/ThatHappened, it's nice to see that we can still retain our ability to distinguish truth from fiction.

#10

Lady Who Lives In Massive Fantasy Land Goes To Disneyland

Lady Who Lives In Massive Fantasy Land Goes To Disneyland

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#11

Woman Finds Microchip In Her Son’s Mask!?

Woman Finds Microchip In Her Son’s Mask!?

IHaveNeverEatenACat Report

#12

Of All The Things That Didn't Happen, This Didn't Happen The Most

Of All The Things That Didn't Happen, This Didn't Happen The Most

mojey6068 Report

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Decided to turn lesbian, it's not like deciding to wear jeans instead of shorts today lol.

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#13

Mhmm, Yeah Sure It Was

Mhmm, Yeah Sure It Was

Mc-MeepMeep Report

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Cecily Holland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one really annoys me! These self entitled, self absorbed mental midgets really think they have it that bad. It’s disrespectful and disgusting

annelouise-bidstrup avatar
AnnaBanana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally agree with you. The tinfoil hat brigade comparing what's happening in Australia now to the holocaust is just so VERY wrong. But they can't see how horribly disrespectful it is and they really do think that being in lockdown and having to wear a mask is "the same" as what happened in WWII!

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Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Hi, I'm [name] and I haven't got the first goddamn clue what real oppression and government mandated murder is actually like, and have never suffered in any meaningful way in my entire privileged, small-minded life".

mail_189 avatar
Rez Fidel
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is beyond disgusting... this person deserves to get punched in the face right away. My grandfather survived Buchenwald and he would totally approve.

karlameixnerov avatar
karla Meixnerová
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sure, wearing a mask means some people can't breathe properly. That is way worse than breathing in Cyclon B or work yourself to death or starve to death

mig7503 avatar
Miriah Williams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Conseratives comparing minor inconveniences to the Holocaust really piss me off.

leighm avatar
Dodo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't decide if it's better or worse than Holocaust deniers

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James016
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is current first place for the Didn't Happen of The Year Award

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Tobias Rieper
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yes I'm sure they said that much worse than being rounded up and gassed treated like you're not even human having your life stolen family killed oh yes all much worse than being vaccinated or having to wear a mask much worse

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Said no Holocaust survivor ever. And your medical freedom is like your anger management freedom ----- it stops where it harms others.

keithbrubacher avatar
Speedgoat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can we all petition phone manufacturers to replace the front facing camera with an eye-poke feature? Post ignorant bilge like this and bazinga, out pops a finger and jabs you in the eye.

sadiequinncampbell avatar
Kimu but she’s inactive
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thats so f****d up im genuinely pissed at this person. Being an anti masker/vaccination is one thing but THIS IS DISGUSTING.

jgarza avatar
J Garza
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So...vaccines and masks or Nazi death camps? What do you think real holocaust survivors would have chosen?

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is an unacceptable insult against all the victims of this horrible crime.

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Christy Smith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus, that's offensive, someone's parents failed the world miserable on their little shithead.

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Seabeast
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It makes me furious when the antivax idiots compare themselves to holocaust victims.

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Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll always remember what a Holocaust survivor, Eva Kor, told my class, to always question what people like that op are telling you. Smartest woman I've ever met.

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Gabrielle Daylano
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really lose the respect for people who compare covid rules to what people went trough in ww2. Saying it is even worse is just disgusting. You're not discriminated because you won't get vaccinated, it's a choice and choices have consequences. Don't compare them to the horrors people went trough just because of something they didn't even choose to be.

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Celesta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh yes, because having to cover half your face with a piece of breathable material is TOTALLY comparable to imprisonment, torture, forced experimentation and GENOCIDE.

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Dorothy Parker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you to all here who acknowledged the Holocaust happened and was an atrocity. With so many Holocaust deniers and revisionists, it is very meaningful to read there are still caring and rational people here.

joannefabrick avatar
Joanne Fabrick
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a Jew, this is incredibly enfuriating. Yes, 6 million people tortured anf killed is worse than wearing a mask to protect others safety. GrRRRrr

justviv avatar
Vivian Orr
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is disgusting. You have no conscience to post something like that. You should be so ashamed.

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Sonja
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sure. 'cause masks and vaccines can make you UNCOMFORTABLE. You can reaaaally say, that it is worse than Mengele, concentration camps, gas chambers, slave work, raping, starvation... Sure.

isaac-aldous avatar
GlipGlop
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Shut your damn mouth with this sh*t, so disrespectful and idiotic and callous and ughhhh

armond_franklin1973 avatar
Ozymandias73
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, because slapping a piece of cloth on your face is equivalent to being marched by force to a concentration camp where you'll more than likely be killed. Stop. Just stop.

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Brunettechameleon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay all of the other ones were just stupid and cringe but this one is a whole new level of stupid, and it’s incredibly disrespectful smh.

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littlesaresare
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've seen a LOT of comparisons between the pandemic restrictions and the holocaust. These people have no shame and are that desperate to be warriors and martyrs. The less forgiving part of me would really like to give them their wishes. "Does this gas smell like vaccines to you?"

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Lovin' Life
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never has a post pjssed me off so bad! Tho Holocaust was real and doent come close to the mask and vaccine. DISGUSTING AND WORNG!!!!

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GoddessOdd
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But if you consider that a great many of these folks are Holocaust deniers, it makes sense to them. to talk this way.

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sincerely doubt this asshole even knows a Holocaust Survivor. Idiots tend to gravitate to each other, because they’re only into confirmation bias, and can’t handle associating with anyone different from themselves, because of the risk of new ideas.

jerrylane avatar
Jerry Lane
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, a vaccine and masks is worse than the deaths of 21 MILLION people?? Please find me this 93 year old woman (who lives in your head).

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Marco Conti
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When the Seventh Army reached Dachau and liberated it, they were horrified at all the prisoners wearing masks. "The Horror! The humanity!" one of the generals is recorded to have said. "But sir," asked the Aide de camp, "they are malnourished, living skeletons". "No", responded the general, "it's the masks doing that, the guards told me they served Filet Mignon every day, but the masks, look at what they have done. The bastards." All the prisoners clapped. Those that still could and were not yet starved of oxygen. True story.

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Chithra Warrier
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is just so wrong. It's not even funny it's an injustice to so many people. I can't even begin to explain how wrong this is.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Holocaust survivor said that the idiot Covid deniers and anti-vaxers were worse than what she went through.

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Michael Cate
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

literal genocide isnt as bad as a couple needles and a facial accessory?

dodsonmichelle avatar
Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How DARE you denigrate and disparage the horrors the Holocaust survivors endured. No. NO ONE told you a mask was worse than being in a concentration camp. You are an absolute lying PIECE OF SH*T. I hope your Mother is completely ashamed of you.

backatya7 avatar
backatya
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that's a lie. I don't think any holocaust survivor would say wearing a mask and getting vaccinated is worse than the treatment they had in concentration camps

rkingery577 avatar
Granny
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guess she was not in the same holocaust as the rest of them

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Nami Tantrum
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

there was this german teen who compared herself to Anne Frank in hiding, during the first lockdown

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Llama_flower93
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw the video of this actually. It's ignorant and completely offensive to people who experienced the holocaust.

autumnwalton avatar
Autumn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, you compared masks to the fricking Holocaust???? I’ll let you know now, you disgust me. Thousands of innocent people being murdered and tortured and experimented on is nothing compared having to wear a mask. And this is coming from someone who isn’t sure they do much. Just suck it up and wear it.

c3arbar393 avatar
Jess Thompson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

🙄 🔪 💀 🤦🏾‍♀️. I don’t want to live in a world where f***s like this live. I hate it here.

rhonyoung avatar
Rhon Young
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How dare whoever said this breathe the same air asHolocaust survivor ! This is such a despicable thing to say! This person has no heart and very little brain!

samanthar_1 avatar
Artist FKA Ramsey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let's not use real tragedy to describe an imagined one. How DARE you!

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Harminatrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone who says masks are worse than the Holocaust does not believe there was a holocaust

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Gemma Strickland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine being that selfish and deluded that you compare COVID to mass murder

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Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since we're all going "blast to the past" nowadays, i'm going to use this speaker truck to tell the general public exactly how much of a c*nt you are. speaker-tr...93-png.jpg speaker-truck-618f650943293-png.jpg

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v
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Something tells me that you're not the type of person who would actually believe the stories a Holocaust survivor would tell you if they would even give you the time of day to start with.

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Steve Wilson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, because she lived in Chicago during the holocaust. Wassa matta?

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Brandy Grote
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was a capo and given all the privileges? She slept with the head of the camp? She was in a camp for 1 day and then liberated? Alternative explanations abound!

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Droopsnoot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you survived a war, I would think you don't complain so easily anymore, but instead, some people think it makes them insanely valuable and better than others

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Lora Mad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think we should send some to Korea or something. To touch base with some reality

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MoreBrains
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

don't worry, that's the next step with the tyrannical US government - camps

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#14

This 2-Year-Old Must Have A Degree Already

This 2-Year-Old Must Have A Degree Already

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sympathies to that child, s/he's going to grow up having their needs ignored, because mum needs them to make her feel better about her life.

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#15

Everyone’s Worst Nightmare

Everyone’s Worst Nightmare

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#16

Oh Yeah. For Sure

Oh Yeah. For Sure

griffonbrioche Report

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Falcon dimi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

but on the other hand she is probably still paying the hospital bills for the delivery of het son.

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#17

Brags To All Their Friends For Saving Their Life With Essential Oils

Brags To All Their Friends For Saving Their Life With Essential Oils

theacondaa Report

#18

Discord Users Are A Different Breed

Discord Users Are A Different Breed

reddit.com Report

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because we all know when the universe began, the big bang and all that, monkeys were already well established 🤦‍♀️ not even apes, he said monkeys. Zero effort

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#19

And All Vampires Clapped

And All Vampires Clapped

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#21

While These Children Weren’t Oxygen Starved, The Poster Was At Birth

While These Children Weren’t Oxygen Starved, The Poster Was At Birth

DavidThorne31 Report

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Weird how some folks wear one for a full shift and are fine, they must be ghosts or something I guess.

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#22

Found This On A “People Who Think Liking Harry Potter Is A Personality Trait” Fb Page

Found This On A “People Who Think Liking Harry Potter Is A Personality Trait” Fb Page

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#23

And Then Ben Franklin’s Image Clapped

And Then Ben Franklin’s Image Clapped

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#24

Well, That Saved Me A Goog!

Well, That Saved Me A Goog!

budingerzdfdsgdsg Report

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can believe that someone in a bar actually said that, after a beer or twelve.

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#25

I Won't Remember Posting This

I Won't Remember Posting This

RIPbyEugenics Report

#27

Hate When People Underestimate The Condoms I Use In A Night Smh

Hate When People Underestimate The Condoms I Use In A Night Smh

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#28

This Has To Be A Joke, Right?

This Has To Be A Joke, Right?

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#29

Anti Vaxxers Are A Gold Mine

Anti Vaxxers Are A Gold Mine

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm positive this is the same person who would be convinced dihydrogen monoxide is super toxic too.

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#30

Then The Toys Clapped

Then The Toys Clapped

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then he cited Marx and refuted his argument with Hegel's counterargument!

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#32

Highly Doubt It

Highly Doubt It

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Ceph Alopod
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Out of all the things so far this one seems slightly plausible just due to sense of humor

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#34

She Also Happens To Be A Wannabe Travel/Wellness Influencer

She Also Happens To Be A Wannabe Travel/Wellness Influencer

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FromageFeet
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because it wouldn’t be weird for a stranger to take pictures of you alone in a bikini without you being aware….not at all.

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#35

Sorry, What The Hell Did I Just Read?

Sorry, What The Hell Did I Just Read?

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So... what? This guy wrote the story because he thinks that using frozen chicken parts is somehow more humane than killing chickens onsite? How does THAT make sense?

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#36

Cos A Dentist Has Enough Time To Watch An Entire Film Instead Of Working

Cos A Dentist Has Enough Time To Watch An Entire Film Instead Of Working

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish this one was true. I'd love a lunch break where you just sit and watch full-length movies in your waiting room.

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#37

I’m Sure They Jumped Another $15 An Hour For No Reason

I’m Sure They Jumped Another $15 An Hour For No Reason

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#39

Another Clueless Nitwit Who Thinks They're Smarter Than The Teacher

Another Clueless Nitwit Who Thinks They're Smarter Than The Teacher

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#41

Of Course They Said That

Of Course They Said That

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BananaJo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Horrible histories taught me more than my history classes, I've been watching it since I was 6 and still watch it now w/ my little sister. Just wanted to share

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#42

“Lone Wolf” Beats Up 6 People

“Lone Wolf” Beats Up 6 People

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#45

Even Some Of The Commenters Are Feeling Sus

Even Some Of The Commenters Are Feeling Sus

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you make $54 an hour, you can damn well afford something healthier for the family.

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#46

A Bunch Of People On The Comments Said That They Had Done Something Similar. Is This A Common Thing?

A Bunch Of People On The Comments Said That They Had Done Something Similar. Is This A Common Thing?

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#47

Woman Convinces Everyone At CVS To Take Off Their Masks - No Really This Happened I Was The One Clapping

Woman Convinces Everyone At CVS To Take Off Their Masks - No Really This Happened I Was The One Clapping

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#48

No One Liked That

No One Liked That

TheOwlsLie Report

#49

I Don’t Think So

I Don’t Think So

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*cop arrests himself and apologizes* - clearly this dude's never dealt with cops. 500 of them would show up and ventilate you while shouting "stop resisting!"

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#50

Very Likely Story

Very Likely Story

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*calls uber* "I'm hiding behind the laundry truck - some guys are trying to hurt me"

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#52

Mlm Huns Need To Come Up With Better Lies

Mlm Huns Need To Come Up With Better Lies

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#54

The Waiter Literally Cried

The Waiter Literally Cried

rmks8285 Report

#55

Did The Whole Cafeteria Clap As Well?

Did The Whole Cafeteria Clap As Well?

reddit.com Report

#56

Real Gamer Girl

Real Gamer Girl

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#57

Maybe Believe If He Wasn't Complete Vermin

Maybe Believe If He Wasn't Complete Vermin

mnro Report

#58

I’m Literally Non-Binary And Have Never Felt Like I Was Misgendering A Fckn Chess Piece

I’m Literally Non-Binary And Have Never Felt Like I Was Misgendering A Fckn Chess Piece

one_paranoid_android Report

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Ray Martin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In a game of chess there are an estimated 1,327 named openings and variants. If each of those opening gambits created an alternate timeline, in precisely none of them would this story be true.

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#59

And Then People Around The Neighborhood Clapped

And Then People Around The Neighborhood Clapped

ClownInYoDreams Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But how will she inject essential oils to cure the doll's almond allergy? /s

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#60

Of Course It Did Deer

Of Course It Did Deer

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Arctic Fox Lover
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's like "OHHH I'm so happy to be grabbing my phone that's in the bathroom for some reason that is also oh-so conveniently propped up against something with the camera app on!! Wait, whoa, hold on, did it just take this really well-lit picture of me while I was reaching in to grab it??? :0"

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#61

Kids Think He’s Walt Disney And He Can’t Bear To Tell Them Otherwise

Kids Think He’s Walt Disney And He Can’t Bear To Tell Them Otherwise

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm pretty sure these children don't even know Walt Disney was a real person

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#62

"Accidentally Gave Myself The Vaccine" Via Twitter! Riiiiight

"Accidentally Gave Myself The Vaccine" Via Twitter! Riiiiight

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#63

Sure Thing Bruh Bruh

Sure Thing Bruh Bruh

notmypretzeldent Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I could see this happening. I'd certainly be tempted to do that as an employee. (Though I also don't put up with nonsense and send line jumpers to the back.)

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#64

Yes I’m Sure That’s Why You Uploaded It

Yes I’m Sure That’s Why You Uploaded It

cas2ie Report

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Penelope
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are the hashtags on this one supposed to be edgy and funny? Because they’re not.

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#65

A Kindergartner Can Definitely Say That

A Kindergartner Can Definitely Say That

CAUSTIC101 Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"How do countries come to go to war?" the little boy inquired, looking up from his book. "For various reasons," explained the father. "Now, there was Germany and Russia. They went to war because the Russians mobilized." "Not at all, my dear," the wife interrupted. "It was because the Austrians—" "Tut, tut, my love!" the husband remonstrated. "Don't you suppose I know?" "Certainly not—you are all wrong. It was because—" "Mrs. Perkins, I tell you it was because—" "Benjamin, you ought to know better, you have boggled—" "Your opinion, madam, has not been requested in this matter." "Shut up! I won't have my child mistaught by an ignoramus." "Don't you dare, you impudent—" "And don't you dare bristle at me, or I'll—" "Oh, never mind!" the little boy intervened. "I think I know now how wars begin."

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#66

I'm Sure Ya Did Buddy

I'm Sure Ya Did Buddy

Available_Cup_9588 Report

#67

Found This On Some Investment Entrepreneur Instagram Account

Found This On Some Investment Entrepreneur Instagram Account

TheCommunist_Scholar Report

#68

Docs Know You Are Educated

Docs Know You Are Educated

djteotancolis Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They probably do just look at them like 😳, but for other reasons.

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#69

Youtube Comments Are A Goldmine

Youtube Comments Are A Goldmine

emrednz07 Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sensed the presence of a dark web hacker, moving through my meme collection, but I warned him exactly where the porn was located which caused him to flee with fright. 🤨

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#71

Gay Shakespeare

Gay Shakespeare

Laprasnomore Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's gay fiction. When I was a teen, I had literally read ALL LGBTQ fiction in my local library. Times have changed. There are now more options out there than any one person could possibly read. Ask your local librarian or a google a reading list for suggestions. (Or, legit, ask me here. Be as specific as you want. I've probably read one I can recommend for your interest.)

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#72

Posted By A “Influencer” Do People Honestly Believe This S**t?

Posted By A “Influencer” Do People Honestly Believe This S**t?

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#73

No Such Thing As Conflict Of Interest!

No Such Thing As Conflict Of Interest!

madcre Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If your lawyer posts on social media that they're about to gang up with you against your soon-to-be-ex to "rip him off", you might have a better case. And you might want to consider finding a lawyer that actually passed the bar and knows the law. Just a suggestion.

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#74

And Everyoone Started Cheering

And Everyoone Started Cheering

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course none of them had their hearts broken. That never heals, so they'd be dead.

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#75

S**t Break Snacks In Fantasyland

S**t Break Snacks In Fantasyland

snarkicon Report

#76

Wise Worlds From A Wise 7 Year Old

Wise Worlds From A Wise 7 Year Old

laseurdenuit Report

#77

Freestyle Rapping During An Interview... Hmm!

Freestyle Rapping During An Interview... Hmm!

ImbibingandVibing Report

#78

Target Will Miss Them

Target Will Miss Them

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This doesn't happen. What actually happens is antimaskers throwing themselves onto the floor in a fit like a toddler.

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#79

You Can't Take Crack Orally And It Doesn't Prevent You From Blinking

You Can't Take Crack Orally And It Doesn't Prevent You From Blinking

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People will take random pills from random people, but we're struggling to get people to get vaccinated? What the actual hell?

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#81

It's True Guys, I Was The Sign!

It's True Guys, I Was The Sign!

Fanfic_Galore Report

#82

A Mom Walking Up To A Stranger Toddler At A Playground To Call The Toddler Out As A Poser About Their Favorite Band

A Mom Walking Up To A Stranger Toddler At A Playground To Call The Toddler Out As A Poser About Their Favorite Band

TheeOxygene Report

#83

Yeaaa Okay. I’m Not Too Sure About This

Yeaaa Okay. I’m Not Too Sure About This

ImbibingandVibing Report

#84

Because That's Totally Something They Can Do

Because That's Totally Something They Can Do

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that's not a thing. Some of us white people just want to be oppressed so badly. *facepalm*

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#85

“Accidentally” Accessed The Dark Web

“Accidentally” Accessed The Dark Web

awol-onion Report

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Ray Martin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, and you tell them "Please take me away, because I'm too stupid to be walking around free". It's not possible to access the dark web "on accident (sic)"

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#86

Man Ran Because Of A Belt

Man Ran Because Of A Belt

Dsp5_ Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this really how conservatives think the Black Lives Matter movement works?

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#87

We Divorced Because My Kid Lied

We Divorced Because My Kid Lied

The-Holy-Sheep-3 Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the divorce had reached terminal velocity and couldn't be stopped.

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#88

Then The Whole House Clapped

Then The Whole House Clapped

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#89

Does This Belong Here?

Does This Belong Here?

nolitos Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I was stalked by an imaginary hot girl, but I told her I was too shallow to talk to her". Imaginary girl dodge a bullet.

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#90

I Believe You

I Believe You

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Lady Vader
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If there was any way at all that this was true, it would be fkn hilarious!! 🤣

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#91

Proud Mama Bird

Proud Mama Bird

The_OwO_Is_Comin Report

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Stoopham McFernybabes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son would say something like that. The part I don’t believe is the nurse kissing the kid.

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#92

I Vibe With Wanting Live Childfree But This Is Just Sad

I Vibe With Wanting Live Childfree But This Is Just Sad

Indominus_Khanum Report

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Gelato Cat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trust bp to post an article about childless people and this in the same day lol

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#93

Found This On Instagram Today And Thought Of You Guys

Found This On Instagram Today And Thought Of You Guys

420_420_man Report

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Bianca Saville
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not far fetched. There are kids like that and I'm lucky when I get to teach them.

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#94

A Girl Posted In My Pe Class That Her Mile Run Was 4 Minutes And 39 Seconds... What?

A Girl Posted In My Pe Class That Her Mile Run Was 4 Minutes And 39 Seconds... What?

wispy-cloud Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Then the Olympic Committee called and offered me a million dollars.

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#95

Give Me A Break

Give Me A Break

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A teacher trying to be encouraging, I could see that happening. I could also see an egocentric teenager taking it like this.

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