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I'm fine. What are you talking about, you do not look fat in those jeans. I'll give you a call.

We lie all the time. And we get away with it quite often, too. But some folks push their made-up narrative so far, it's hard to imagine anyone actually believing them.

So they end up on the subreddit r/thatHappened. Its members share evidence of "people telling outrageous tall tales that would make Walter Mitty proud" and they have compiled quite the archive since the creation of this online community in 2012.

Here are some of its best gems.

#1

From Cursed Comments

From Cursed Comments

ya_boi01 , deborahhowarth9 Report

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope you don't mind him losing his fertility to a totally preventable case of the mumps, and having no biological grandchildren?

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#2

Jesus Christ. What An Idiot

Jesus Christ. What An Idiot

or_gasm Report

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol, this one should be number one for the massive cringe value.

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Sometimes people lie just to inflate their image—some think this motivation is the reason behind President Donald Trump's demonstrably false statement that his Inauguration crowd was bigger than President Barack Obama's first one. But people also lie to cover up bad behavior, as American swimmer Ryan Lochte did during the 2016 Summer Olympics by claiming to have been robbed at gunpoint at a gas station when, in fact, he and his teammates, drunk after a party, had been confronted by armed security guards after damaging property.

We can find similar examples even in fields that are dedicated to the search for eternal truth. And one doesn't have to look far, either. Take the physicist Jan Hendrik Schön, for example, whose purported breakthroughs in molecular semiconductor research proved to be fraudulent.

#3

Imagine Getting Called Out Like That, By Harry Styles Himself

Imagine Getting Called Out Like That, By Harry Styles Himself

Harry_Styles Report

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He swore to God. Imagine 'god' profile also replying: Stop using me for your lies, Mike.

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#4

Not Really Sure What Is There To Brag About Anyways

Not Really Sure What Is There To Brag About Anyways

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#5

Running A 5k In 10 Minutes

Running A 5k In 10 Minutes

itsharryngl Report

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Lying is something many of us are very good at. We do it while interacting with strangers, co-workers, friends, and loved ones. Turns out, our capacity for dishonesty is as fundamental to us as our need to trust others, which ironically makes us terrible at detecting lies. Being deceitful is woven into us, so much so that it would be truthful to say that to lie is human.

The ubiquity of lying was first documented systematically two decades ago by Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara. DePaulo and her colleagues asked 147 adults to jot down for a week every instance they tried to mislead someone. The researchers discovered that the subjects lied on average one or two times a day. Most of these untruths were innocuous, intended to hide one's inadequacies or to protect the feelings of others. Some lies were excuses (one subject blamed the failure to take out the garbage on not knowing where it needed to go). Yet other lies, such as a claim of being a diplomat's son, were aimed at presenting a false image. While these were minor transgressions, a later study by DePaulo and other colleagues involving a similar sample indicated that most people have, at some point, told one or more "serious lies", like hiding an affair from a spouse, or making false claims on a college application.

#6

How Does She Expect Anyone To Believe Her? My Mother Sent Me This From Our Neighborhood Facebook Group

How Does She Expect Anyone To Believe Her? My Mother Sent Me This From Our Neighborhood Facebook Group

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I read here is "I fantasized about committing assault on strangers to to promote my snake oil"

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#8

And Then The Coronavirus Clapped

And Then The Coronavirus Clapped

flopsychops Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It may be "incredibly easy" according to this tweeter, but I'm pretty impressed by anyone who can accidentally swallow an entire mask by accident.

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Researchers suggest that lying as a behavior arose pretty soon after the emergence of language. The ability to manipulate others without using physical force likely conferred an advantage in the competition for resources and mates, akin to the evolution of deceptive strategies in the animal kingdom, such as camouflage.

"Lying is so easy compared to other ways of gaining power," Sissela Bok, an ethicist at Harvard University who's one of the most prominent thinkers on the subject, told Nat Geo. "It's much easier to lie in order to get somebody's money or wealth than to hit them over the head or rob a bank.

"Experts are learning that we're prone to believe some lies even when they're easily contradicted by clear evidence. These insights suggest that our proclivity for deceiving others, and our vulnerability to being deceived, are especially consequential in the age of social media.

So in the case of r/ThatHappened, it's nice to see that we can still retain our ability to distinguish truth from fiction.

#10

Lady Who Lives In Massive Fantasy Land Goes To Disneyland

Lady Who Lives In Massive Fantasy Land Goes To Disneyland

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#11

Woman Finds Microchip In Her Son’s Mask!?

Woman Finds Microchip In Her Son’s Mask!?

IHaveNeverEatenACat Report

#12

Of All The Things That Didn't Happen, This Didn't Happen The Most

Of All The Things That Didn't Happen, This Didn't Happen The Most

mojey6068 Report

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Decided to turn lesbian, it's not like deciding to wear jeans instead of shorts today lol.

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Kandi Heiple
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it's below 70 degrees I always just go ahead and turn lesbian so I don't get cold later on

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"She then turned to me and said, 'And do you really want to be fulfilling these outdated gender norms until you die?' It was like I was hit by a bus. I grabbed her hand. We both ditched our plans for boyfriends, madeout, moved into a lovely cabin in the forest, and adopted three cats."

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And now, I imagine the person who wrote this being told that a woman can have children without having to put up with a dirtbag husband, like some lesbians do. I can see the light going off in her head, and the crying on the floor...

melissasawicki_1 avatar
MRSS
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry but we do not wake up one random morning and say to ourselves, "Hmmmm I think I am going to give becoming a Lesbian a shot and see how it goes!! If it doesn't seem to work out I'll just become Heterosexual again.!!) The stupidity of people that think one can just switch to become Gay like a light switch, blows my mind. That is not how it works people!!

loramad avatar
Lora Mad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it mandatory to become a lesbian in order to skip the kids? Asking for a friend, it is too late for me

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Casey McAlister
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know which is more ridiculous - the fact they think you can "turn" lesbian, or that they think lesbians can't have kids.

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Jo Choto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmm, what inborn trait shall I decide to pretend to be this week? How about a pathological liar?

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RiverStyxJix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, flawless logic. You can still have kids if you're a lesbian??????

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Hollysmom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And "just like that" she "turned back" into a heterosexual

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Ghougle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife and I decided to not have children, does that make both of us or just her a lesbian?

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HooowlAtTheMoon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So.... both homophobic and pressuring to have kids? I sure hope this is fake.

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Marky Mark
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is that how it works? Maybe I'll try being a lesbian for a few days just to see how it suits me.

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Ben Dreyer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nobody "decides to turn lesbian" you insensitive low IQ chromosome deficient excuse for a human being.

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Sarah
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ha ha! Wow. There is just so much wrong with this. She "turned lesbian". Not having kids is devastating for all women. Lesbians can't have kids. You can be "too old" to find a partner. The possibility of whether or not she would have kids never occurred to her until someone else brought it up. Yeah, not buying any of that.

kayrose avatar
RoseTheMad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lesbians can still have kids. Sperm donors exist, as does adoption. I'm a lesbian with a child (who was in fact my goddaughter, but due to her parents splitting up and a lot of hatred happening between the two, I took her in and she's ended up staying with me :) )

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Jackie Nettleton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do idiots still not understand that we are born with our sexuality and their is no choice, there’s no way anyone got a choice

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Tamra Stiffler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because some people are so narrow-minded, they simply cannot imagine a reality beyond their own.

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Ty Stratton-Quirk
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If only there were some sort of clearly defined process for people to take in unwanted or parentless children with the approval of the government. Oh, well...

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Brian Bennett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think a light should go on in YOUR head Lesbianism is not a daily decision - get educated idiot!

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I I
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

waited until 50 to "turn" gay then cried because she wanted kids ? dont need a man to have kids , why am i ar4guing with some one who made it up ?

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SomePeopleCallMeMaurice
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank the good lord, Jesus, and that white bird that’s always swirling around them - she saved her from a life of being who she is!

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Mike Power
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh so she wasn't actually a lesbian, just like this story didn't actually happen.

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Steph
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah, so lesbians can't have kids where you live? Luckily not in my country...

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Robin Roper
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gee, I'm have to tell my lesbian friends who have children, that they need to give them up for adoption, even though the children were wanted and the woman gave birth to them - sorry honey, lesbians can't have children or be moms.

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Yort
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aside from the fact that lesbians can in fact have children, she’s only been a lesbian for a few weeks. It’s not too late to find a man no matter what age she is.

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Jenny Mason
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm the 7th out of 8 children of a lesbian mother 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Michael Cate
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah cause adoption or sperm donors isnt a choice for lesbian couples...

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Meami
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow! Clearly does not understand that you can be lesbian and have children..

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Me Oh My
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did not "turn" pansexual, I did not decide to be who I am, and bitch you better damn well believe I ain't having kids. I can assure you I will be MUCH happier at 50 and rich than 50 and miserable with a ruined body, bank, and social life.

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PixxelDust
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'yeah ive chosen to love women. o wait now i've decided its more convenient to love men'

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Alethia Nyx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Likely responses to "do you really wanna be 50 and not have kids?": "yes", or "this is the 21st century, there are plenty of ways to become a parent that don't require sex with a man".

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A.J Milne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF, fake or not this isn't the best conversation to have with someone with a different sexuality. Don't be an asshole and accept it

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DuchessDegu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 50 and I don't have kids, so I must be a lesbian! Do I need to sign up to anything or just wake up lesbian tomorrow?

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Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's so much going on in that tweet that for a second I legit forgot you can only get pregnant when you're married to a cis man, silly me.

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H Moore
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My lesbian friends have kids, no they didn't have actual sex with men

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Omnisexual bitch
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"decided to turn lesbian" no that's not how it works and your friend cant just changes your sexuality just like that.

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Grayson Wrigley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This story becomes believable if the friend had laughed themselves into tears. "Decided to turn lesbian". Just wow.

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Iara Ra
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is what happens when you have been brainwashed by church and extreme right. And by the way, women can be artificially inseminated and have children even if they are lesbians.

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Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WOW. And people wonder why LGBTQ folks keep their mouths shut. So, for the record- I was about 13 when I decided to come out as hetero. I don't want anyone confused.

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William Stewart
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That might be the dumbest thing I've read all day. An competition is stiff.

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Béla Kun
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the main problem, that ppl still think you can just turn lesbian or gay.

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TJay
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd have answered... why yes I wanna be 50 with no kids

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Lovin' Life
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I set a reminder on my calendar to to turn lesbian on week from today. I'll let you know how it turns out.

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Norah Reilly
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the 70s and 80s people like you were trying this kind of s**t. It didn't work then and it never will. Good luck, Bozo

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YoyoSthlm
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No no no, you're three weeks to old to find a man. Sorry.

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Brandy Grote
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because wanting a kid has ANYTHING to do with who you prefer in a sexual partner....

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Jerry Lane
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cuz girls can just turn that s**t on and off, right? Right? Can I hear an amen here? Man, you people are a lousy crowd!

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Bill Karp
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

so she said that and left. later that year you found out she was pregnant. you saw her and she said, found a good one at the bank.

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Rachael Sampson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh good grief this is one of the stupidest things I've ever seen.

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#13

Mhmm, Yeah Sure It Was

Mhmm, Yeah Sure It Was

Mc-MeepMeep Report

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Cecily Holland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one really annoys me! These self entitled, self absorbed mental midgets really think they have it that bad. It’s disrespectful and disgusting

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#14

This 2-Year-Old Must Have A Degree Already

This 2-Year-Old Must Have A Degree Already

Chakwenta Report

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sympathies to that child, s/he's going to grow up having their needs ignored, because mum needs them to make her feel better about her life.

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#15

Everyone’s Worst Nightmare

Everyone’s Worst Nightmare

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#16

Oh Yeah. For Sure

Oh Yeah. For Sure

griffonbrioche Report

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Falcon dimi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

but on the other hand she is probably still paying the hospital bills for the delivery of het son.

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#17

Brags To All Their Friends For Saving Their Life With Essential Oils

Brags To All Their Friends For Saving Their Life With Essential Oils

theacondaa Report

#18

Discord Users Are A Different Breed

Discord Users Are A Different Breed

reddit.com Report

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because we all know when the universe began, the big bang and all that, monkeys were already well established 🤦‍♀️ not even apes, he said monkeys. Zero effort

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#19

And All Vampires Clapped

And All Vampires Clapped

InsaneGamer18 Report

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#21

While These Children Weren’t Oxygen Starved, The Poster Was At Birth

While These Children Weren’t Oxygen Starved, The Poster Was At Birth

DavidThorne31 Report

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Weird how some folks wear one for a full shift and are fine, they must be ghosts or something I guess.

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#22

Found This On A “People Who Think Liking Harry Potter Is A Personality Trait” Fb Page

Found This On A “People Who Think Liking Harry Potter Is A Personality Trait” Fb Page

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#23

And Then Ben Franklin’s Image Clapped

And Then Ben Franklin’s Image Clapped

reddit.com Report

#24

Well, That Saved Me A Goog!

Well, That Saved Me A Goog!

budingerzdfdsgdsg Report

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can believe that someone in a bar actually said that, after a beer or twelve.

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#25

I Won't Remember Posting This

I Won't Remember Posting This

RIPbyEugenics Report

#27

Hate When People Underestimate The Condoms I Use In A Night Smh

Hate When People Underestimate The Condoms I Use In A Night Smh

Dumdemiboy Report

#28

This Has To Be A Joke, Right?

This Has To Be A Joke, Right?

God_sent_me_nudes Report

#29

Anti Vaxxers Are A Gold Mine

Anti Vaxxers Are A Gold Mine

Vonnybon Report

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm positive this is the same person who would be convinced dihydrogen monoxide is super toxic too.

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#30

Then The Toys Clapped

Then The Toys Clapped

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then he cited Marx and refuted his argument with Hegel's counterargument!

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#32

Highly Doubt It

Highly Doubt It

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Ceph Alopod
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Out of all the things so far this one seems slightly plausible just due to sense of humor

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#34

She Also Happens To Be A Wannabe Travel/Wellness Influencer

She Also Happens To Be A Wannabe Travel/Wellness Influencer

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FromageFeet
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because it wouldn’t be weird for a stranger to take pictures of you alone in a bikini without you being aware….not at all.

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#35

Sorry, What The Hell Did I Just Read?

Sorry, What The Hell Did I Just Read?

ellafanta Report

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So... what? This guy wrote the story because he thinks that using frozen chicken parts is somehow more humane than killing chickens onsite? How does THAT make sense?

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#36

Cos A Dentist Has Enough Time To Watch An Entire Film Instead Of Working

Cos A Dentist Has Enough Time To Watch An Entire Film Instead Of Working

silvyrphoenix Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish this one was true. I'd love a lunch break where you just sit and watch full-length movies in your waiting room.

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#37

I’m Sure They Jumped Another $15 An Hour For No Reason

I’m Sure They Jumped Another $15 An Hour For No Reason

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#39

Another Clueless Nitwit Who Thinks They're Smarter Than The Teacher

Another Clueless Nitwit Who Thinks They're Smarter Than The Teacher

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#41

Of Course They Said That

Of Course They Said That

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BananaJo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Horrible histories taught me more than my history classes, I've been watching it since I was 6 and still watch it now w/ my little sister. Just wanted to share

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#42

“Lone Wolf” Beats Up 6 People

“Lone Wolf” Beats Up 6 People

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#45

Even Some Of The Commenters Are Feeling Sus

Even Some Of The Commenters Are Feeling Sus

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you make $54 an hour, you can damn well afford something healthier for the family.

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#46

A Bunch Of People On The Comments Said That They Had Done Something Similar. Is This A Common Thing?

A Bunch Of People On The Comments Said That They Had Done Something Similar. Is This A Common Thing?

IbukisGuitar Report

#47

Woman Convinces Everyone At CVS To Take Off Their Masks - No Really This Happened I Was The One Clapping

Woman Convinces Everyone At CVS To Take Off Their Masks - No Really This Happened I Was The One Clapping

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#48

No One Liked That

No One Liked That

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#49

I Don’t Think So

I Don’t Think So

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*cop arrests himself and apologizes* - clearly this dude's never dealt with cops. 500 of them would show up and ventilate you while shouting "stop resisting!"

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#50

Very Likely Story

Very Likely Story

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idan avatar
Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*calls uber* "I'm hiding behind the laundry truck - some guys are trying to hurt me"

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#52

Mlm Huns Need To Come Up With Better Lies

Mlm Huns Need To Come Up With Better Lies

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#54

The Waiter Literally Cried

The Waiter Literally Cried

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#55

Did The Whole Cafeteria Clap As Well?

Did The Whole Cafeteria Clap As Well?

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#56

Real Gamer Girl

Real Gamer Girl

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#57

Maybe Believe If He Wasn't Complete Vermin

Maybe Believe If He Wasn't Complete Vermin

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#58

I’m Literally Non-Binary And Have Never Felt Like I Was Misgendering A Fckn Chess Piece

I’m Literally Non-Binary And Have Never Felt Like I Was Misgendering A Fckn Chess Piece

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Ray Martin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In a game of chess there are an estimated 1,327 named openings and variants. If each of those opening gambits created an alternate timeline, in precisely none of them would this story be true.

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#59

And Then People Around The Neighborhood Clapped

And Then People Around The Neighborhood Clapped

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But how will she inject essential oils to cure the doll's almond allergy? /s

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#60

Of Course It Did Deer

Of Course It Did Deer

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Arctic Fox Lover
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's like "OHHH I'm so happy to be grabbing my phone that's in the bathroom for some reason that is also oh-so conveniently propped up against something with the camera app on!! Wait, whoa, hold on, did it just take this really well-lit picture of me while I was reaching in to grab it??? :0"

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#61

Kids Think He’s Walt Disney And He Can’t Bear To Tell Them Otherwise

Kids Think He’s Walt Disney And He Can’t Bear To Tell Them Otherwise

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm pretty sure these children don't even know Walt Disney was a real person

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#62

"Accidentally Gave Myself The Vaccine" Via Twitter! Riiiiight

"Accidentally Gave Myself The Vaccine" Via Twitter! Riiiiight

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#63

Sure Thing Bruh Bruh

Sure Thing Bruh Bruh

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I could see this happening. I'd certainly be tempted to do that as an employee. (Though I also don't put up with nonsense and send line jumpers to the back.)

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#64

Yes I’m Sure That’s Why You Uploaded It

Yes I’m Sure That’s Why You Uploaded It

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Penelope
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are the hashtags on this one supposed to be edgy and funny? Because they’re not.

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#65

A Kindergartner Can Definitely Say That

A Kindergartner Can Definitely Say That

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"How do countries come to go to war?" the little boy inquired, looking up from his book. "For various reasons," explained the father. "Now, there was Germany and Russia. They went to war because the Russians mobilized." "Not at all, my dear," the wife interrupted. "It was because the Austrians—" "Tut, tut, my love!" the husband remonstrated. "Don't you suppose I know?" "Certainly not—you are all wrong. It was because—" "Mrs. Perkins, I tell you it was because—" "Benjamin, you ought to know better, you have boggled—" "Your opinion, madam, has not been requested in this matter." "Shut up! I won't have my child mistaught by an ignoramus." "Don't you dare, you impudent—" "And don't you dare bristle at me, or I'll—" "Oh, never mind!" the little boy intervened. "I think I know now how wars begin."

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#66

I'm Sure Ya Did Buddy

I'm Sure Ya Did Buddy

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#67

Found This On Some Investment Entrepreneur Instagram Account

Found This On Some Investment Entrepreneur Instagram Account

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#68

Docs Know You Are Educated

Docs Know You Are Educated

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They probably do just look at them like 😳, but for other reasons.

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#69

Youtube Comments Are A Goldmine

Youtube Comments Are A Goldmine

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sensed the presence of a dark web hacker, moving through my meme collection, but I warned him exactly where the porn was located which caused him to flee with fright. 🤨

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#71

Gay Shakespeare

Gay Shakespeare

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's gay fiction. When I was a teen, I had literally read ALL LGBTQ fiction in my local library. Times have changed. There are now more options out there than any one person could possibly read. Ask your local librarian or a google a reading list for suggestions. (Or, legit, ask me here. Be as specific as you want. I've probably read one I can recommend for your interest.)

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#72

Posted By A “Influencer” Do People Honestly Believe This S**t?

Posted By A “Influencer” Do People Honestly Believe This S**t?

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#73

No Such Thing As Conflict Of Interest!

No Such Thing As Conflict Of Interest!

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If your lawyer posts on social media that they're about to gang up with you against your soon-to-be-ex to "rip him off", you might have a better case. And you might want to consider finding a lawyer that actually passed the bar and knows the law. Just a suggestion.

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#74

And Everyoone Started Cheering

And Everyoone Started Cheering

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course none of them had their hearts broken. That never heals, so they'd be dead.

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#75

S**t Break Snacks In Fantasyland

S**t Break Snacks In Fantasyland

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#76

Wise Worlds From A Wise 7 Year Old

Wise Worlds From A Wise 7 Year Old

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#77

Freestyle Rapping During An Interview... Hmm!

Freestyle Rapping During An Interview... Hmm!

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#78

Target Will Miss Them

Target Will Miss Them

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This doesn't happen. What actually happens is antimaskers throwing themselves onto the floor in a fit like a toddler.

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#79

You Can't Take Crack Orally And It Doesn't Prevent You From Blinking

You Can't Take Crack Orally And It Doesn't Prevent You From Blinking

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People will take random pills from random people, but we're struggling to get people to get vaccinated? What the actual hell?

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#81

It's True Guys, I Was The Sign!

It's True Guys, I Was The Sign!

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#82

A Mom Walking Up To A Stranger Toddler At A Playground To Call The Toddler Out As A Poser About Their Favorite Band

A Mom Walking Up To A Stranger Toddler At A Playground To Call The Toddler Out As A Poser About Their Favorite Band

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#83

Yeaaa Okay. I’m Not Too Sure About This

Yeaaa Okay. I’m Not Too Sure About This

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#84

Because That's Totally Something They Can Do

Because That's Totally Something They Can Do

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that's not a thing. Some of us white people just want to be oppressed so badly. *facepalm*

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#85

“Accidentally” Accessed The Dark Web

“Accidentally” Accessed The Dark Web

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Ray Martin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, and you tell them "Please take me away, because I'm too stupid to be walking around free". It's not possible to access the dark web "on accident (sic)"

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#86

Man Ran Because Of A Belt

Man Ran Because Of A Belt

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this really how conservatives think the Black Lives Matter movement works?

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#87

We Divorced Because My Kid Lied

We Divorced Because My Kid Lied

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the divorce had reached terminal velocity and couldn't be stopped.

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#88

Then The Whole House Clapped

Then The Whole House Clapped

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#89

Does This Belong Here?

Does This Belong Here?

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I was stalked by an imaginary hot girl, but I told her I was too shallow to talk to her". Imaginary girl dodge a bullet.

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#90

I Believe You

I Believe You

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Lady Vader
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If there was any way at all that this was true, it would be fkn hilarious!! 🤣

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#91

Proud Mama Bird

Proud Mama Bird

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Stoopham McFernybabes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son would say something like that. The part I don’t believe is the nurse kissing the kid.

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#92

I Vibe With Wanting Live Childfree But This Is Just Sad

I Vibe With Wanting Live Childfree But This Is Just Sad

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Gelato Cat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trust bp to post an article about childless people and this in the same day lol

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#93

Found This On Instagram Today And Thought Of You Guys

Found This On Instagram Today And Thought Of You Guys

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Bianca Saville
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not far fetched. There are kids like that and I'm lucky when I get to teach them.

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#94

A Girl Posted In My Pe Class That Her Mile Run Was 4 Minutes And 39 Seconds... What?

A Girl Posted In My Pe Class That Her Mile Run Was 4 Minutes And 39 Seconds... What?

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Then the Olympic Committee called and offered me a million dollars.

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#95

Give Me A Break

Give Me A Break

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A teacher trying to be encouraging, I could see that happening. I could also see an egocentric teenager taking it like this.

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