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I'm fine. What are you talking about, you do not look fat in those jeans. I'll give you a call.

We lie all the time. And we get away with it quite often, too. But some folks push their made-up narrative so far, it's hard to imagine anyone actually believing them.

So they end up on the subreddit r/thatHappened. Its members share evidence of "people telling outrageous tall tales that would make Walter Mitty proud" and they have compiled quite the archive since the creation of this online community in 2012.

Here are some of its best gems.

#1

From Cursed Comments

From Cursed Comments

ya_boi01 , deborahhowarth9 Report

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope you don't mind him losing his fertility to a totally preventable case of the mumps, and having no biological grandchildren?

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#2

Jesus Christ. What An Idiot

Jesus Christ. What An Idiot

or_gasm Report

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol, this one should be number one for the massive cringe value.

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Sometimes people lie just to inflate their image—some think this motivation is the reason behind President Donald Trump's demonstrably false statement that his Inauguration crowd was bigger than President Barack Obama's first one. But people also lie to cover up bad behavior, as American swimmer Ryan Lochte did during the 2016 Summer Olympics by claiming to have been robbed at gunpoint at a gas station when, in fact, he and his teammates, drunk after a party, had been confronted by armed security guards after damaging property.

We can find similar examples even in fields that are dedicated to the search for eternal truth. And one doesn't have to look far, either. Take the physicist Jan Hendrik Schön, for example, whose purported breakthroughs in molecular semiconductor research proved to be fraudulent.

#3

Imagine Getting Called Out Like That, By Harry Styles Himself

Imagine Getting Called Out Like That, By Harry Styles Himself

Harry_Styles Report

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He swore to God. Imagine 'god' profile also replying: Stop using me for your lies, Mike.

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#4

Not Really Sure What Is There To Brag About Anyways

Not Really Sure What Is There To Brag About Anyways

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#5

Running A 5k In 10 Minutes

Running A 5k In 10 Minutes

itsharryngl Report

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Lying is something many of us are very good at. We do it while interacting with strangers, co-workers, friends, and loved ones. Turns out, our capacity for dishonesty is as fundamental to us as our need to trust others, which ironically makes us terrible at detecting lies. Being deceitful is woven into us, so much so that it would be truthful to say that to lie is human.

The ubiquity of lying was first documented systematically two decades ago by Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara. DePaulo and her colleagues asked 147 adults to jot down for a week every instance they tried to mislead someone. The researchers discovered that the subjects lied on average one or two times a day. Most of these untruths were innocuous, intended to hide one's inadequacies or to protect the feelings of others. Some lies were excuses (one subject blamed the failure to take out the garbage on not knowing where it needed to go). Yet other lies, such as a claim of being a diplomat's son, were aimed at presenting a false image. While these were minor transgressions, a later study by DePaulo and other colleagues involving a similar sample indicated that most people have, at some point, told one or more "serious lies", like hiding an affair from a spouse, or making false claims on a college application.

#6

How Does She Expect Anyone To Believe Her? My Mother Sent Me This From Our Neighborhood Facebook Group

How Does She Expect Anyone To Believe Her? My Mother Sent Me This From Our Neighborhood Facebook Group

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I read here is "I fantasized about committing assault on strangers to to promote my snake oil"

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#8

And Then The Coronavirus Clapped

And Then The Coronavirus Clapped

flopsychops Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It may be "incredibly easy" according to this tweeter, but I'm pretty impressed by anyone who can accidentally swallow an entire mask by accident.

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Researchers suggest that lying as a behavior arose pretty soon after the emergence of language. The ability to manipulate others without using physical force likely conferred an advantage in the competition for resources and mates, akin to the evolution of deceptive strategies in the animal kingdom, such as camouflage.

"Lying is so easy compared to other ways of gaining power," Sissela Bok, an ethicist at Harvard University who's one of the most prominent thinkers on the subject, told Nat Geo. "It's much easier to lie in order to get somebody's money or wealth than to hit them over the head or rob a bank.

"Experts are learning that we're prone to believe some lies even when they're easily contradicted by clear evidence. These insights suggest that our proclivity for deceiving others, and our vulnerability to being deceived, are especially consequential in the age of social media.

So in the case of r/ThatHappened, it's nice to see that we can still retain our ability to distinguish truth from fiction.

#10

Lady Who Lives In Massive Fantasy Land Goes To Disneyland

Lady Who Lives In Massive Fantasy Land Goes To Disneyland

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#11

Woman Finds Microchip In Her Son’s Mask!?

Woman Finds Microchip In Her Son’s Mask!?

IHaveNeverEatenACat Report

#12

Of All The Things That Didn't Happen, This Didn't Happen The Most

Of All The Things That Didn't Happen, This Didn't Happen The Most

mojey6068 Report

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Decided to turn lesbian, it's not like deciding to wear jeans instead of shorts today lol.

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#13

Mhmm, Yeah Sure It Was

Mhmm, Yeah Sure It Was

Mc-MeepMeep Report

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Cecily Holland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one really annoys me! These self entitled, self absorbed mental midgets really think they have it that bad. It’s disrespectful and disgusting

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#14

This 2-Year-Old Must Have A Degree Already

This 2-Year-Old Must Have A Degree Already

Chakwenta Report

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sympathies to that child, s/he's going to grow up having their needs ignored, because mum needs them to make her feel better about her life.

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#15

Everyone’s Worst Nightmare

Everyone’s Worst Nightmare

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#16

Oh Yeah. For Sure

Oh Yeah. For Sure

griffonbrioche Report

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Falcon dimi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

but on the other hand she is probably still paying the hospital bills for the delivery of het son.

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Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I showed this two my two year old nephew and he said "Aunty, why do people keep inventing such preposterous tripe and expecting anyone to take it seriously? And since when did toddlers know the first thing about politics, let alone how to speak even half that articulately? I'm very advanced for my age and when I was eighteen months old I only knew how to say 'dadada'. How ridiculous! Either way, the NLP needs to go. Honest Australians have had enough of their inhumane policies and dangerous denial of science." Well okay actually he just said "Wanna biscuit!"

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Mr Red
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You took half of it and shared with other kids who have less toys, the kids were happy and played together with your son because playing together is more fun and everyone was smiling. That's socialism.

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I I
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

these guys dont know what socialism is , moronic

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Nooberton
Community Member
2 years ago

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People who support socialism don’t want it is. Retards

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Monica Michelle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The socialism part would be taking some of the blocks and giving him college health care and housing

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Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Communism: Take all blocks and distribute them equally no matter what. Capitalism: Take all the blocks and give them back when given other things. Fascism: Take all the blocks, refuse to give them back, then shoot him when he gets angry.

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Brian Bennett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know much about kids but ain't that thing kinda tall for a 18 month old kid to build in perfect balance - and mommy/daddy you am full of 'merican crap1

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Donkey boi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually socialism, wouldn't take half. It would take whatever you could afford to lose (your surplus), it would then compensate you by giving you other products or services that you may need or a fair payment. But you know.... whatever.

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MorgothBauglir
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Power corrupts. Once the government it all powerful, do you seriously believe they care about you any more?

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TeaDude
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whereas under modern capitalism the boss would then claim it as their own, take it all away and sack the child

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Jo Choto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Must be frustrating to have an imaginary child that only you can see and hear.

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J Garza
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She actually takes half from all the kids in the neighborhood and lies about it on her taxes so she can use it to buy her way into the White House. Capitalism.

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MorgothBauglir
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not Capitalism, Cronyism. I'm a capitalist and I hat that as much as you do.

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Julie Harden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder if she gets mail delivered to her home, and if she drives on a road to get to her home.

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Tori Wilson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Alright that's the last straw. I am officially vomiting. WTF is wrong with these people. They can't even lie convincingly.

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ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

someone needs to explain the difference to her between socialism and tax. Socialism is where she gives the part she took to a poor kid.

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Wilf
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Donald Trump Junior actually DID do this to his children to warn them about "socialism". He took half their trick or treat sweets. https://metro.co.uk/2017/11/01/donald-trump-jr-is-giving-away-daughters-halloween-candy-to-teach-her-socialism-7045540/

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David Evans
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

😄😆😂 What is up with these delusional people? In my head I see a mother and son both wearing MAGA hats!

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Jerry Mathers
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my America, she takes 15% for taxes, 5% for social security and Medicare, 8% for sakes tax, 2% for property tax and 30% for health insurance. Then, when the little guy steps on a block and needs medical care, she takes another 4% to meet copays and deductibles. While they were in the waiting room, she looks at him and says, that's my America.

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, so two years isn’t old enough for you to brag your kid’s already talking like an adult? Odds are he’s also still shitting into a diaper.

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Jerry Lane
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really, 18 months? Talks like that? I think that you are confusing him with your dull 18 year old son. Nice tower for your slow 18 year old son. I hope he catches up with his peers some day.

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Yort
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate when socialism takes a literal half of a building and then puts it somewhere else.

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Mel
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once again, 18 mo's don't talk like this. They would say, "whats soch ism?"

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Ghougle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the parent (or governing body) simply took 50% of the project, that would be Fascism and not Socialism.

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Billy Beecham
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so sick of this mentality. I'm also sick of all the kids out there that fall for this brainwashing crap. Taking half is being an asshole parent. And if your kid really said that after you really did that you should have your kid taken away.

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Sue Hazlewood
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well this is as pathetic and nauseating as De Santis building a wall with his daughter

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Steve Wilson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Then we can expect that you will be sending him to a private school then, & not one of those socialist public schools? Hopefully you won’t feel too ashamed about driving on those socialist public roads to take him to school.

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Diane Knight
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A) fairly tall for a toddler to build B) He knows what country he resides in? and the pecking order of greatness of the world? C)Word definition is high, Trump has a lower one many days, can he define Socialism? Or his own meaning?

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TrixicBird(Any pronouns)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was asked what country I lived in as a toddler I said Maryland, and I grew up in Connecticut!

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Shelli Aderman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

🤣🤣 The articulation prowess of the infants on the thread is. Something.

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Vicky Zar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Suuuure... the only thing I believe here is the brainwashing

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Carlos Santana
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He looked me dead in the eye and said: "Not in my America." And then he s**t his diapers.

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Zoran Ilić
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in a socialist country, with universal healthcare, pension and such, and tax (deducted from my pay so no calculating needed) is 19,9%, how much more is it than in the us, 3-4-5-6-7 times?

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Eboy Bear
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and that's the moment she gave her son a toddler sized AR-15

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Rene Simons
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another episode in the reality series “Morons in America”

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Mayrene Chester
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

18-month old understands the concept of socialism and nationalism. Amurica....

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Granny
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People just do not know how it works....sure you pay a lot in taxes..but not healthcare insurance and co pays.

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MilaFi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are people really this nuts?! Jfc! Who makes this sh*t up?!

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Béla Kun
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is not socialism, in socialism you get back a ton of stuff for that money

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Lexipoo
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How tall is your son at 18 months, hm? And I’m surprised that he knows how to talk

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Mark Karol-Chik
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rubio, Cruz, Turtleman McConnell, Rand f*****g Paul scream against socialism and still collect there !5k paycheck monthly

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Paul Mitchell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Americans are now talking about food sharing, meaning other countries should share with the USA, now that there are water shortages and crop failures. This is socialism and needs to be stopped. If you cannot grow enough food to feed yourselves you die. That's the way it's always been.

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Abraham Mezquita
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know I'm gonna get downvoted for this, but I've seen too much in the comments to stay quiet. Socialism it's beautiful, it's the best way of a society can function. It's too bad that never a single country had managed to do it properly, and just f*cked up all the population, via corrupt governments. You can tell me I am mistaken all you want, and Call BS on me... Me, someone who has lived all his life on Cuba. C'mon, bring it on

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Artist FKA Ramsey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I LOVE how all these liars believe that 1 and 2 year olds are so articulate and have these amazingly witty comebacks. As a mother, these people have been watching entirely too many sitcoms.

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Cip IESAN
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Socialism would take you all! And throw you in jail after! Don't BS me, I lived for 23 years in a socialist country, in the Socialist Republic of Romania! In the socialism YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO OWN! Ah, yes, kids could own some plastic cubes, right, but only if they had parents with high positions in the communist party, to buy the cubes, because usually the toys shops were empty.

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Run Forest
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know it boggles the mind how most of the commenters in here support socialism. Idk if they're just mentally unstable, socially impaired, low IQ etc. But I assure you the majority of people will never accept socialism as long as we have the freedom too.

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PjandBolt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of a minimalistic version of the Doofenshmirtz evil incorporated tower

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MorgothBauglir
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Recommended reading: "A Road to Serfdom" by Friedrich Hayek.

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Marco Conti
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I thought that was taxation. Mom probably works for the IRS. Mom should have gone to the toy factory and put the workers in charge of production. That a little bit more like "socialism".

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Droopsnoot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Huh, where was this? I thought the entitled loved socialism

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Mitz87
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this parent is confusing 18 months for 18 years.

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Petros Vrasivanopoulos
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

so many people have mental problems, thats what the internet has taught us

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#17

Brags To All Their Friends For Saving Their Life With Essential Oils

Brags To All Their Friends For Saving Their Life With Essential Oils

theacondaa Report

#18

Discord Users Are A Different Breed

Discord Users Are A Different Breed

reddit.com Report

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because we all know when the universe began, the big bang and all that, monkeys were already well established 🤦‍♀️ not even apes, he said monkeys. Zero effort

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#19

And All Vampires Clapped

And All Vampires Clapped

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#21

While These Children Weren’t Oxygen Starved, The Poster Was At Birth

While These Children Weren’t Oxygen Starved, The Poster Was At Birth

DavidThorne31 Report

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Weird how some folks wear one for a full shift and are fine, they must be ghosts or something I guess.

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#22

Found This On A “People Who Think Liking Harry Potter Is A Personality Trait” Fb Page

Found This On A “People Who Think Liking Harry Potter Is A Personality Trait” Fb Page

reddit.com Report

#23

And Then Ben Franklin’s Image Clapped

And Then Ben Franklin’s Image Clapped

reddit.com Report

#24

Well, That Saved Me A Goog!

Well, That Saved Me A Goog!

budingerzdfdsgdsg Report

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can believe that someone in a bar actually said that, after a beer or twelve.

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#25

I Won't Remember Posting This

I Won't Remember Posting This

RIPbyEugenics Report

#27

Hate When People Underestimate The Condoms I Use In A Night Smh

Hate When People Underestimate The Condoms I Use In A Night Smh

Dumdemiboy Report

#28

This Has To Be A Joke, Right?

This Has To Be A Joke, Right?

God_sent_me_nudes Report

#29

Anti Vaxxers Are A Gold Mine

Anti Vaxxers Are A Gold Mine

Vonnybon Report

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm positive this is the same person who would be convinced dihydrogen monoxide is super toxic too.

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#30

Then The Toys Clapped

Then The Toys Clapped

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then he cited Marx and refuted his argument with Hegel's counterargument!

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#32

Highly Doubt It

Highly Doubt It

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Ceph Alopod
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Out of all the things so far this one seems slightly plausible just due to sense of humor

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#34

She Also Happens To Be A Wannabe Travel/Wellness Influencer

She Also Happens To Be A Wannabe Travel/Wellness Influencer

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FromageFeet
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because it wouldn’t be weird for a stranger to take pictures of you alone in a bikini without you being aware….not at all.

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#35

Sorry, What The Hell Did I Just Read?

Sorry, What The Hell Did I Just Read?

ellafanta Report

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So... what? This guy wrote the story because he thinks that using frozen chicken parts is somehow more humane than killing chickens onsite? How does THAT make sense?

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#36

Cos A Dentist Has Enough Time To Watch An Entire Film Instead Of Working

Cos A Dentist Has Enough Time To Watch An Entire Film Instead Of Working

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish this one was true. I'd love a lunch break where you just sit and watch full-length movies in your waiting room.

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#37

I’m Sure They Jumped Another $15 An Hour For No Reason

I’m Sure They Jumped Another $15 An Hour For No Reason

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#39

Another Clueless Nitwit Who Thinks They're Smarter Than The Teacher

Another Clueless Nitwit Who Thinks They're Smarter Than The Teacher

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#41

Of Course They Said That

Of Course They Said That

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BananaJo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Horrible histories taught me more than my history classes, I've been watching it since I was 6 and still watch it now w/ my little sister. Just wanted to share

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#42

“Lone Wolf” Beats Up 6 People

“Lone Wolf” Beats Up 6 People

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#45

Even Some Of The Commenters Are Feeling Sus

Even Some Of The Commenters Are Feeling Sus

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you make $54 an hour, you can damn well afford something healthier for the family.

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#46

A Bunch Of People On The Comments Said That They Had Done Something Similar. Is This A Common Thing?

A Bunch Of People On The Comments Said That They Had Done Something Similar. Is This A Common Thing?

IbukisGuitar Report

#47

Woman Convinces Everyone At CVS To Take Off Their Masks - No Really This Happened I Was The One Clapping

Woman Convinces Everyone At CVS To Take Off Their Masks - No Really This Happened I Was The One Clapping

mojey6068 Report

#48

No One Liked That

No One Liked That

TheOwlsLie Report

#49

I Don’t Think So

I Don’t Think So

Midget_LlamaYT Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*cop arrests himself and apologizes* - clearly this dude's never dealt with cops. 500 of them would show up and ventilate you while shouting "stop resisting!"

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#50

Very Likely Story

Very Likely Story

Winter-Beans Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*calls uber* "I'm hiding behind the laundry truck - some guys are trying to hurt me"

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#52

Mlm Huns Need To Come Up With Better Lies

Mlm Huns Need To Come Up With Better Lies

Srosenbz Report

#54

The Waiter Literally Cried

The Waiter Literally Cried

rmks8285 Report

#55

Did The Whole Cafeteria Clap As Well?

Did The Whole Cafeteria Clap As Well?

reddit.com Report

#56

Real Gamer Girl

Real Gamer Girl

travvy_cott_borgar Report

#57

Maybe Believe If He Wasn't Complete Vermin

Maybe Believe If He Wasn't Complete Vermin

mnro Report

#58

I’m Literally Non-Binary And Have Never Felt Like I Was Misgendering A Fckn Chess Piece

I’m Literally Non-Binary And Have Never Felt Like I Was Misgendering A Fckn Chess Piece

one_paranoid_android Report

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Ray Martin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In a game of chess there are an estimated 1,327 named openings and variants. If each of those opening gambits created an alternate timeline, in precisely none of them would this story be true.

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#59

And Then People Around The Neighborhood Clapped

And Then People Around The Neighborhood Clapped

ClownInYoDreams Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But how will she inject essential oils to cure the doll's almond allergy? /s

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#60

Of Course It Did Deer

Of Course It Did Deer

That-Guy-J Report

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Arctic Fox Lover
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's like "OHHH I'm so happy to be grabbing my phone that's in the bathroom for some reason that is also oh-so conveniently propped up against something with the camera app on!! Wait, whoa, hold on, did it just take this really well-lit picture of me while I was reaching in to grab it??? :0"

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#61

Kids Think He’s Walt Disney And He Can’t Bear To Tell Them Otherwise

Kids Think He’s Walt Disney And He Can’t Bear To Tell Them Otherwise

PeterParker72 Report

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm pretty sure these children don't even know Walt Disney was a real person

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#62

"Accidentally Gave Myself The Vaccine" Via Twitter! Riiiiight

"Accidentally Gave Myself The Vaccine" Via Twitter! Riiiiight

galactiicpup Report

#63

Sure Thing Bruh Bruh

Sure Thing Bruh Bruh

notmypretzeldent Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I could see this happening. I'd certainly be tempted to do that as an employee. (Though I also don't put up with nonsense and send line jumpers to the back.)

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#64

Yes I’m Sure That’s Why You Uploaded It

Yes I’m Sure That’s Why You Uploaded It

cas2ie Report

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Penelope
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are the hashtags on this one supposed to be edgy and funny? Because they’re not.

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#65

A Kindergartner Can Definitely Say That

A Kindergartner Can Definitely Say That

CAUSTIC101 Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"How do countries come to go to war?" the little boy inquired, looking up from his book. "For various reasons," explained the father. "Now, there was Germany and Russia. They went to war because the Russians mobilized." "Not at all, my dear," the wife interrupted. "It was because the Austrians—" "Tut, tut, my love!" the husband remonstrated. "Don't you suppose I know?" "Certainly not—you are all wrong. It was because—" "Mrs. Perkins, I tell you it was because—" "Benjamin, you ought to know better, you have boggled—" "Your opinion, madam, has not been requested in this matter." "Shut up! I won't have my child mistaught by an ignoramus." "Don't you dare, you impudent—" "And don't you dare bristle at me, or I'll—" "Oh, never mind!" the little boy intervened. "I think I know now how wars begin."

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#66

I'm Sure Ya Did Buddy

I'm Sure Ya Did Buddy

Available_Cup_9588 Report

#67

Found This On Some Investment Entrepreneur Instagram Account

Found This On Some Investment Entrepreneur Instagram Account

TheCommunist_Scholar Report

#68

Docs Know You Are Educated

Docs Know You Are Educated

djteotancolis Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They probably do just look at them like 😳, but for other reasons.

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#69

Youtube Comments Are A Goldmine

Youtube Comments Are A Goldmine

emrednz07 Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sensed the presence of a dark web hacker, moving through my meme collection, but I warned him exactly where the porn was located which caused him to flee with fright. 🤨

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#71

Gay Shakespeare

Gay Shakespeare

Laprasnomore Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's gay fiction. When I was a teen, I had literally read ALL LGBTQ fiction in my local library. Times have changed. There are now more options out there than any one person could possibly read. Ask your local librarian or a google a reading list for suggestions. (Or, legit, ask me here. Be as specific as you want. I've probably read one I can recommend for your interest.)

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#72

Posted By A “Influencer” Do People Honestly Believe This S**t?

Posted By A “Influencer” Do People Honestly Believe This S**t?

reddit.com Report

#73

No Such Thing As Conflict Of Interest!

No Such Thing As Conflict Of Interest!

madcre Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If your lawyer posts on social media that they're about to gang up with you against your soon-to-be-ex to "rip him off", you might have a better case. And you might want to consider finding a lawyer that actually passed the bar and knows the law. Just a suggestion.

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#74

And Everyoone Started Cheering

And Everyoone Started Cheering

wdymyname Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course none of them had their hearts broken. That never heals, so they'd be dead.

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#75

S**t Break Snacks In Fantasyland

S**t Break Snacks In Fantasyland

snarkicon Report

#76

Wise Worlds From A Wise 7 Year Old

Wise Worlds From A Wise 7 Year Old

laseurdenuit Report

#77

Freestyle Rapping During An Interview... Hmm!

Freestyle Rapping During An Interview... Hmm!

ImbibingandVibing Report

#78

Target Will Miss Them

Target Will Miss Them

uhm_i_dont_know Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This doesn't happen. What actually happens is antimaskers throwing themselves onto the floor in a fit like a toddler.

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#79

You Can't Take Crack Orally And It Doesn't Prevent You From Blinking

You Can't Take Crack Orally And It Doesn't Prevent You From Blinking

RedditSmokesCrack Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People will take random pills from random people, but we're struggling to get people to get vaccinated? What the actual hell?

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#81

It's True Guys, I Was The Sign!

It's True Guys, I Was The Sign!

Fanfic_Galore Report

#82

A Mom Walking Up To A Stranger Toddler At A Playground To Call The Toddler Out As A Poser About Their Favorite Band

A Mom Walking Up To A Stranger Toddler At A Playground To Call The Toddler Out As A Poser About Their Favorite Band

TheeOxygene Report

#83

Yeaaa Okay. I’m Not Too Sure About This

Yeaaa Okay. I’m Not Too Sure About This

ImbibingandVibing Report

#84

Because That's Totally Something They Can Do

Because That's Totally Something They Can Do

smokefan4000 Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that's not a thing. Some of us white people just want to be oppressed so badly. *facepalm*

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#85

“Accidentally” Accessed The Dark Web

“Accidentally” Accessed The Dark Web

awol-onion Report

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Ray Martin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, and you tell them "Please take me away, because I'm too stupid to be walking around free". It's not possible to access the dark web "on accident (sic)"

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#86

Man Ran Because Of A Belt

Man Ran Because Of A Belt

Dsp5_ Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this really how conservatives think the Black Lives Matter movement works?

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#87

We Divorced Because My Kid Lied

We Divorced Because My Kid Lied

The-Holy-Sheep-3 Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the divorce had reached terminal velocity and couldn't be stopped.

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#88

Then The Whole House Clapped

Then The Whole House Clapped

jml1877 Report

#89

Does This Belong Here?

Does This Belong Here?

nolitos Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I was stalked by an imaginary hot girl, but I told her I was too shallow to talk to her". Imaginary girl dodge a bullet.

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#90

I Believe You

I Believe You

haggis_man1213 Report

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Lady Vader
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If there was any way at all that this was true, it would be fkn hilarious!! 🤣

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#91

Proud Mama Bird

Proud Mama Bird

The_OwO_Is_Comin Report

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Stoopham McFernybabes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son would say something like that. The part I don’t believe is the nurse kissing the kid.

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#92

I Vibe With Wanting Live Childfree But This Is Just Sad

I Vibe With Wanting Live Childfree But This Is Just Sad

Indominus_Khanum Report

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Gelato Cat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trust bp to post an article about childless people and this in the same day lol

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#93

Found This On Instagram Today And Thought Of You Guys

Found This On Instagram Today And Thought Of You Guys

420_420_man Report

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Bianca Saville
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not far fetched. There are kids like that and I'm lucky when I get to teach them.

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#94

A Girl Posted In My Pe Class That Her Mile Run Was 4 Minutes And 39 Seconds... What?

A Girl Posted In My Pe Class That Her Mile Run Was 4 Minutes And 39 Seconds... What?

wispy-cloud Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Then the Olympic Committee called and offered me a million dollars.

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#95

Give Me A Break

Give Me A Break

Haleylumlum Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A teacher trying to be encouraging, I could see that happening. I could also see an egocentric teenager taking it like this.

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