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“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
When we go through traumatic events, our brain can shut out feelings and thoughts as a way to protect us from emotional or physical damage. This can make people go numb in stressful situations, so our bodies have time to figure out the best course of survival. Healthcare workers are frequently exposed to traumatic experiences, so when they were asked what event made them go permanently numb, they shared many devastating stories. Scroll down to find them below, and don’t forget to share similar ones if you have any.
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#1
Putting multiple people in body bags each shift one weekend as a Covid nurse and then having my own family tell me Covid wasn’t real in the days after.
Pyla 5 months ago
I really can’t get my head around the selfish and entitled way people were behaving
Atom Bohr 5 months ago
I knew someone whose parents were a retired doctor and nurse. For years they'd been pro vaccine, but after retiring started spending a lot of time on FB and started believing lots of conspiracy theories. This person had to reduce contact with their parents after getting themselves and their toddler vaccinated, as their parents reacted so badly. Less than two months after that both parents diéd of covid, and continued arguing it was all a lie until pretty much the end.
Science Nerd 5 months ago
And we now have RFK Jr firing the entire CDC Vaccine board and replacing them with his cronies, because the original board was biased.
Tommy DePaul 1 month ago
And then they elected Trump, the original denier-in-chief.
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RELATED:
#2
Having to tell my patient we had no ventilators left during Covid so he really had to be strong and focus on his breathing all night just to stay alive. He did.
Pyla 5 months ago
I had covid after the vax and you really realize how scary it must have been for those truly ill patients
LongFang 5 months ago (edited)
Had Covid after the vax too. Coming back with groceries, had a gut feeling somethiing was off... Got tested positive, BB girl too ! 0 symptoms tho but isolated over a week as was on holidays with ageing aunt & father. So pissed.... A big strong fella i know was bed ridden...
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StrangeOne 5 months ago
That would have been excruciating. The feeling in your lungs is like there's knifes stabbing you from the inside every time you breath.
Rebecca O’Donnell 5 months ago
StrangeOne, I totally agree with you. Never experienced anything like that before and hope to never experience it again. I can’t imagine dying that way. (I was vaccinated.)
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Kim Kermes 5 months ago
Some of which were wasted on deniers. I was ready to volunteer at the hospital if things got bad enough. I would have bagged someone to the end of my strength, rigged a foot pump, whatever. Except for deniers. My oath was to the Constitution, not Hipprocrates.
XenoMurph 5 months ago
What does the constitution have to do with it? You'd only treat Americans?
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Nova Rook 5 months ago
My company helped build ventilators. Supplied a lot of the fittings for them.
Cas P 5 months ago
With the knowledge that has since come out about the effects of ventilation on COVID patients,, the poster probably saved the patient's life.
Jessica Daus-Warner 5 months ago
Imagine if necessary health devices and medications were reasonably priced, instead of discount viagra? Shows the priorities.
Tommy DePaul 1 month ago
It was odd. I got COVID before the vaccine was developed. 3 coughs and 2 sneezes and a slight fever. BUT I woke up one night and both my dead parents were sitting at a table next to my bed. We had a wonderful conversation. I'd voluntarily get COVID again if I could be guaranteed that experience. It turns out I have a bionic immune system. This year it's given me excema.
Melanie Linehan 3 months ago
I am happy he is alright, but saddened that so many lost their lives because of the lack of ventilators, and saddened for the healthcare workers who had to endure such suffering.
#3
Carrying a stillborn infant to the morgue in my arms so that her mother did not have to see her on the cold morgue cart. This was against policy, it was night shift and I didn’t care. The look on her face and the pain in her voice asking me to carry her will stay with me forever.
Nicole hought 5 months ago
When my son died at 5 months old from SIDS, The coroner carried him out wrapped in his blanket. Like a sleeping baby. I died that day.
Jenna Kay 5 months ago
My daughter-in-law worked at the maternity ward and taking care of deceased infants was a part of her job. She even took little hand and footprints for the parents, and a lock of hair if there was some. I don't know how she did it, holding on to her humanity in the face of such loss.
Pittsburgh rare 5 months ago (edited)
I'm guessing that gave her some purpose in the face of such terrible job.
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Constance Arnold 5 months ago
L&D nurse here. I always carried them. We could as long as we were accompanied by security.
Constance Arnold 5 months ago
L&D nurse here. Always did this. As long as we were accompanied by security, we could carry them.
Christiane 4 months ago
When my son died at 2hours (medical negligence) the coroner carried him away. I couldn't bear to see him like cargo. She never said it was against the rules. She had to take him because it was so hard to surrender him. He would be 16.
Courtney Christelle 5 months ago
Ok, totally besides the point but: anyone else notice the wonkiness of the woman’s fingers in the picture?
It’s not uncommon to dissociate or numb feelings when going through traumatic or stressful events. Even though it might provide temporary relief, coping this way with difficult emotions can have an unwanted, long-lasting impact.
Prolonged emotional numbness can lead to an inability to respond to positive situations and relationships, too. They appear detached and unfeeling and lack energy. Essentially, a person can’t feel anything anymore.
#4
A mother holding her stillborn said “I wish I could sit here and stare at her until we both turn into dust.”
KieLeaHar 3 months ago (edited)
Devastating. I’ve known a number of girls from school (we all still call each other girls even though we’re women), who’ve had stillborns and they’ve all SCREAMED at the nurses to please do something. They’ve begged and pleaded, asked ‘God’ to take them instead, threatened to take themselves out there and then, some had to be sedated they were so hysterical— Understandably! Some had to go into psych wards under mandatory watch, others have never had any more children, some have produced more kids like they’re a production factory and some show their never-ending grief by constantly posting photos of their born-sleeping angel on social media weekly 🤷♀️ . People cope/deal/go on with life in different ways.
Christiane 4 months ago
When my son died (2hours), I asked if I could go with him. They wouldn't let me. I had to go on. Some days it seems unfair.
Linda Johnson 5 months ago
I lost a child who was 30 yrs old....I know the pain and heartache can't be any less than losing one at birth......losing a child to death is SO WRONG it defies ever ever understanding and you never stop asking WHY??? in your heart and head!!!
Christine M Quigley 5 months ago
It is heartbreaking. Thank God I didn't have to deal with death very much working NICU- most upper scale maternity population. I was one of the only nurses that would bring those little bodies down to the morgue in the basement.
#5
I had a patient my age (23) with severe Chron’s disease in the ICU after surgery. He started bleeding more than 1L through the drainage. Called the emergency surgeons and while they arrived I held his hand while he told me “I’m very scared”. He was extremely pale and shaking. I went home after that shift, couldn’t sleep thinking about it, and the next day my coworker said “take a look at him”. He was intubated and sedated. He made it, and after a few days he woke up and thanked me for everything.
K_Tx 5 months ago
Digestive diseases are terrifying. When you end up in the hospital because of one, you imagine all the horrible things that could be in your future. God bless doctors and especially nurses and those in the day-to-day caring for those of us in the struggle. Even you, Elaine, you witch!
Seadog 5 months ago
There are so many things I don't want to live through. 2 things you can never unsee. 1) a person that's dead but not dead and 2) the inside of a neonatal unit. My ex FIL crashed in the hospital and when we finally found out where they took him and we got to see him, he was gray in color, had a swan in his neck and pretty much unresponsive. He did recover but I'll never unsee him and all the stuff they had him hooked up to. As for the NICU, my first time in I made the mistake of looking around. Heartbreaking. After that moment I looked at the floor coming and going and only directly at my son while in there. Various medical people see various things but you'd have to have a cast iron soul to work in the NICU and still sleep well and/or have children.
#6
Holding a patient by his gait belt with another nurse so he could dance with his wife one last time. He passed that night. Her cries haunt me.
Roni Stone 5 months ago
Thank you so much for giving them that moment. Somewhere in the universe, it will always be remembered.
Inservio Smurf 5 months ago
No need. This moment was beautiful and perfect in and of itself. Magic is ephemeral and supposed to be. That's what makes these moments so special.
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Harry Gondalf 5 months ago
Some of my most emotionally satisfying moments came out of situations like this -- as a hospice volunteer. --And BTW that wasn't their last dance; they're dancing together still, or will be.
M 5 months ago
I heard the last breaths of my employee who died from cancer, because his wife didn't want to be alone. I am so happy I took that call even though I know he passed away a couple minutes after I answered the phone. At least I gave her a bit of comfort by just being there. His last breaths still can be heard with that memory.
However, without the help of professional guidance, emotional numbing can be hard to overcome. Mental health professionals provide various treatments that can help with accepting the inner feelings and focusing one’s attention on living a meaningful life.
That said, there are several lifestyle changes that doctors or therapists can recommend to help relieve the symptoms of emotional numbness.
#7
Sitting with a 5 yo who was there for a su*cide attempt and his mom just dropped him off and gave his info and left. He than ran out the ER into oncoming traffic and when I caught him, he grabbed onto me and said “I just want my mommy to love me”.
Littlemiss 5 months ago
I hope that the child found someone to ook after and love after him unconditionally. That's soul destroying.
tl gmc 5 months ago
I think they have to call cps, but can't legally do more than that. And cps sucks, from experience watching what my cousins went through, they keep trying to return the kids even when a mother threatens to k**l them. Took multiple rehab and jail for my aunt to finally lose any rights to her kids, this is tame in comparison
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 5 months ago
That's so f*****g sad. Just 5 years old. I hope that little guy is living his best life in a better home.
Tabitha 5 months ago (edited)
Listen, I have an extra room in my house that could be made into a child’s room. My husband and I are older, we own our own business so I work from home, we have a dog and cats and live outside a rural town, so there’s fresh air and room to run. Send the boy to us. We’ll give him the best and happiest life, plus a healthy, recession-proof business to inherit (and do whatever he wants with) so we know he’ll be taken care of after we’re gone.
ChickyChicky 5 months ago
You can put your money where your mouth is and sign up to foster.
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Daya Meyer 5 months ago
Just when I read this, my dog girl who is sleeping beside me, looked up to me and licked my hand a few times. Even she takes care fo other beings and some humans are like... this.
cerinamroth 5 months ago
I wish I had the biggest house in the world and I would welcome in as many children as I could. I would love every single one of them. My own broken cup has been patched through years of therapy and now I want to pour and pour and pour my love from it to fill other children's empty cups.
Tamra 5 months ago (edited)
Your post demonstrated what I call spiritual alchemy. I've known people who had terrible childhoods, but they ended up being the most caring and compassionate souls I've ever met. They managed to transform that trauma into something that made the world a little better for those around them. Well done, cerinamroth. Well done, indeed.
Load More Replies... SCP 4666 5 months ago
Mothers from different kinds of species sometimes reject their young. Humans are among them
Gunný Petersen 5 months ago
My MIL did that to my husband. I hate that woman!
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#8
The fire department holding a motorcyclists brain in his head with a towel while I checked all over the patient for a pulse, watching his dead eyes hoping he blinks. Looking for maybe a bubble in the blood pouring out of his mouth. Attempting CPR and feeling every bone crush that I had to look away. Standing up covered in blood, blood soaked through my pants, socks, shirt. And then had to work the rest of my shift covered in his blood. I still see his eyes clear as day in my mind. I would count compressions in my head for months over and over, reminding myself I did them at the right pace. This all happened on a major highway while drivers video recorded me yelling at a lifeless man to blink. We covered him with a sheet, and had to go to the next call. I wish people saw EMS from our point of view. We don’t have doctors on scene. There’s two of us. We call the shots. And we pray to god the shots are correct. That’s all. Traumatic as hell.
grotesqueer 5 months ago
Recording that is so indescribably disgusting. How can people be so disrespectful??
Jasmijn 5 months ago
As a doctor, I’m calling bullshït on this one. Working the rest of her shift covered in his blood is a massive violation of health and safety protocols for EMS. Blood is a biohazard, so EMS (and other healthcare professionals) are trained to immediately decontaminate any exposed skin and remove contaminated clothing, whether at the station, the hospital, or even in the back of the ambulance if the contamination is severe (such as soaked through in blood). All EMS have a change of uniform in their ambulance for this very reason.
Pyla 5 months ago
I am sure a lot of these are fictional. Reddit is loaded with wannabe writers.
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Pyla 5 months ago
I worked in insurance, we called them Mobile Organ Donors.
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Gil Hannah 5 months ago
I've been a paramedic; I've almost lost one son to the road, and saw him in intestine care in a coma; and, more recently, I did lose my other son to the road: he was on a scooter, no ppe. The police wouldn't even tell me where he was because of the disrespectful ghoul voyeuristic freaks. I had to wait at home to see if I was going to the hospital or the morgue. Some of humanity really doesn't deserve the air, skin, and space that they waste!
Crissy Newbury 5 months ago
Just reminded me that my son’s best friend at school was ki!!ed in a motorcycle crash in his 30s. The grief is insane.
Maureen Rouse 5 months ago
Calls like that are why there is so much burnout in EMS and ER personnel.
#9
Having a cancer patient's wife sob in my arms after her husband told the Dr he was tired of fighting and wanted to go home on hospice, sit on the porch, listen to the birds, and drink coffee with his wife.
Roni Stone 5 months ago
Such simple wishes and such a momentous moment. Life isn't about winning an award; life is about coffee with one's spouse while the birds are singing.
Brittania Kelli 5 months ago
People can never understand what cancer treatment feels like. After watching my battle both my parents said that if they ever were diagnosed they would forego treatment and choose to check out their way.
Nicole Weymann 5 months ago
I'm all for fighting if there is a realistic chance (and of course there's always a grey zone in the definition of "realistic chance") - but in the end, especially with elderly patients or a very tough/painful fight: nobody lives forever. "Saving" a patient will always be a temporary thing, and if "saving" means an additional six months or more in constant pain I really doubt the value of these months.
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Gavin Johnson 5 months ago
Exactly what my Uncle did. He suffered years of treatment that drained him completely, he gained a few years of life that was tolerable and he got to see his great-grandchildren grow up but the last twelve months his quality of life diminished rapidly and all he wanted to do was have a glass of wine or two with his family and enjoy a cigarette (that he’d quit some 20 years earlier) as he figured it wouldn’t k**l him anymore. Couldn’t fault him, it was his life and he wanted it to end away from hospitals and with familiar faces around him. He succeeded and his passing was a blessing for him, the pain and suffering ended.
The Majestic Opossum 5 months ago
Reminds me of the quote from Johnny Cash, when asked to describe paradise: “This morning, with her, having coffee.”
Stacey N 5 months ago (edited)
My grandma beat cancer the first time. When it came back in her bones she said no. No more treatments. My grandpa, her husband, got lung cancer and he tried to fight but he said after watching her go through it, he'd rather live out the rest of his days with a whiskey in one hand, cigarette in the other and his family around him
Faye Routon 1 month ago
Hospice care is truly one of the most important and humane methods of care ever conceived.
The first one is learning to reach out to your friends and family for support when you need it. Trusted persons in your life can provide a safe space to express your emotions. Another great thing to do is to focus on improving your physical health. Getting plenty of exercise and rest is important, as it makes your body more equipped to face probable stressors.
#10
Sane exam on a 8-month-old baby…I never went home and cried so much. I held my daughter when I got home.
Tabitha 5 months ago (edited)
We have had some reported incidents where the family of the child went after the p**o and beat the everlovin’ s**t out of him—-and I say him, because, statistically speaking, it’s a man doing these vile things way more often than a woman. Yes, there are women just like that, but their numbers are minuscule in comparison. Vigilante justice is not right, academically, but on an emotional level, it’s something I would have great difficulty not doing myself if it was my kid, and I simply cannot place any blame on a parent who reacts in that highly understandable and totally natural and visceral way. Any normal human being would have that exact same impulse. I know for d**n sure that I am not alone in that sentiment.
Eric Brown 5 months ago
Why is this the second SANE Exam for an infant I saw from these posts? Why are some people so evil?
Deta Rossiter 5 months ago
we numb to those news reports in South Africa as well. Unfortunately
Bookworm 5 months ago
I've been told kids don't start forming long term memories until around age 3. I hope that's true here and baby remembers nothing. I hope whoever did this faced vigilante justice. Going through the legal system is far too civilized for this pos.
#11
Praying with an older couple before surgery to go well, she didn’t make it. Watching him leave alone with his cane and hat in hand.
Tabitha 5 months ago (edited)
At least they tried, and didn’t refuse to do it, saying it wasn’t worth trying because she was old. Had it been successful, she could’ve recovered and had several extra years. But sometimes it’s just your time to go, and nothing you or anyone can do will change that. But oh the poor husband. As my husband and I grow older, that very scenario stays in the back of my mind, and I don’t look forward to it happening, regardless of which one of us is the one to outlive the other (I think I will be the one to outlive my husband, because of genetics, habits, and stuff he did when he was younger, but then again, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, so…).
Chuck the Cat 5 months ago
Yay! It’s now 3 days later and you never got hit by a bus.
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Lizabeth 5 months ago
There are times when it's so much better to let them go. I was by my father's side when he died. He had an burst aortic aneurysm. He knew he had it for months and chose not to have an operation to fix it. His eyesight was going, (macula degeneration) his hearing was going, he had the aneurysm, had a bad back and constant problems with constipation so that he ended up with a dead piece of bowel. I think at the end he was happy to go.
Panda'sMom 5 months ago
In Canada (and soon in the UK), instead of trying to help/save a patient, they offer MAID! In my mind that is disgusting. And there is a faction here that WANT that.
Chuck the Cat 5 months ago
Would you be fine if one of your loved ones díed? Would you walk away like nothing happened? Or would you be crying for hours on end, missing them every day of your life? I know I would be the latter.
Load More Replies... #12
I sat with a postpartum mom after she told me she was planning on shooting herself that night. I sat with her while she sobbed and we admitted her that day. I think about her and what would’ve happened if she hadn’t spoken up that day. I held her and we cried together.
Upil 5 months ago
Yes, mom told me my sister almost threw my nephew to a river for all of the stress she had. Lucky me and my wife could work it out with our daughter..
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Minimizing stress is an additional coping strategy that can help minimize emotional numbness. This means avoiding overcrowded schedules and instead finding time to do things you enjoy. Lastly, relaxing breathing and physical exercises can increase emotional strength and to manage stressful experiences, minimizing the need to resort to emotional numbing.
#13
During an honor walk hearing the scream of a mother and watching her fall to her knees as her teenage son was being wheeled down to the OR to be an organ donor.
Don Adams 5 months ago (edited)
As a recipient of a donated heart, I do hope the mother can glean a small comfort in knowing that her son, being a donor, has made a profound impact in the life of one (or more) people. Also, he lives on through them, and is not gone. I do not, as yet, know who my hero is, but I hope to be able to tell their family just how much they mean to me. Make sure you check the organ donor box when you can. No matter how you believe, once your dead, you will not be needing them.
Deta Rossiter 5 months ago
as long as everyone in your family knows you are an organ donor. You will literally not use them once you pass.
Emilu 5 months ago
I agree. I have told my next of kin specifically to donate my organs if I predecease them (and also have registered myself on the organ donor register). I'm dead. I don't need them. I'd much rather know that someone who does need them gets them. (And that's a pot-shot, too. I've read about how strict organ donation rules are)
Load More Replies... Jude Laskowski 5 months ago
I was working in an ICU one night when a young man was admitted after being hit by a drunk driver, The parents wanted to donate his organs as the young man had already discussed this with his family. His parents allowed his high school friends to say goodbye to him from the adjoining room. His donation gave life to several people. Not a dry eye.
Inservio Smurf 5 months ago
Hadn't heard the term honour walk before; looked it up. Thank you for this, that made my morning.
Luna Zen 5 months ago
what a creepy and awful thing to do to a grieving person. she should have been allowed to say no to an “honor walk”. that’s grotesque.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 5 months ago
I imagine it's a choice, but many people find some comfort in their loved one being honoured like this.
Load More Replies... #14
The amount of children and young people that die because they have no health insurance while we keep people in nursing homes that have no mind body or soul left.
The Cute Cat 5 months ago
It is time to choose politician that support universal health care. That is not expensive.. Many developing country have it
Peeka_Mimi 5 months ago
They've done the math, it's less expensive to implement Universal Healthcare. But we are being held hostage by republican idiots.
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Chris the Bobcat 5 months ago
Where are those so-called pro lifers? Oh yeah... it seems to me they're only pro life when the life is unborn. Once that life is out of the womb, they cost money and that's just not part of the program. I'm an American and I'm starting to hope our military overthrows the unconstitutional traitor and his flunkies. It galls me that convicted murderers have more access to basic healthcare than the working classes. Life only matters here if you have enough money.
Evan Connolly 2 months ago
And that's what you people always say, but the truth is that Pro-Life people give millions of dollars' worth of aid to new mothers.
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Maples Dad 5 months ago
I'm so grateful for being born in the country I was born in. Life really is a lottery.
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 5 months ago
Yes of course because the elderly don't matter do they? /s.
Megalodon Meg 5 months ago
I mean you don't matter but most parasites don't
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Abby Rexroth 5 months ago (edited)
Euthanasia is not always the answer. What if you have a mentally competent elderly person living in the aforementioned nursing home that has doting children that come to visit them regularly do you think the govt should have the power to end that loved person's life before they or their family is ready??? My mother is 92 and using a walker but she is sharp as a tack. If some libtard like Trudeau came near her I'd end his sorry a$$.
Jude Laskowski 5 months ago (edited)
In California, a young man was admitted to the Neuro ICU because of a stroke. His entire family was there - all illegals. His son was running around the hospital stealing anything that wasn't nailed down. He was on life support and his mother would not send him to a nursing home because he "might wake up." He was there for months until he was finally sent to hospice. Hundreds of thousands wasted when that bed was needed for patients who had a chance. (The nurse manager had to get locks put on every door to keep the kid out.)
somnomania (she/her, queer) 5 months ago
this is an unfair example. there's really no reason the children AND the elderly people can't both be cared for and alive. other people at the other end of the scale include vegetables being kept alive so that their pregnancy can't be considered to end in an abortion (a real situation here in the states), and people who genuinely want to die and deserve the benefit of physician-assisted s*****e. some people should be alive and some people should be allowed to die if they want to or if it's cruel to them and their families to do otherwise.
#15
When an old lady was sick and i hugged her and she started crying and said all she wants is her mommy.
Rachel Pelz 5 months ago
Is it OK to say "you'll see her again" in this situation? Or "she loves you but she just can't be here right now"?
weatherwitch 5 months ago
It's when there's no one to hug you, that's so hard. I've no family and I'm always so ill. So many times I wish I could have one of her hugs 😔
#16
Doing compressions on a man still in his wedding tuxedo while his brand new wife stood outside the room still in her dress. They were t-boned leaving their wedding, he didn’t make it.
Pyla 5 months ago
Atul Gawande did a very good article on this kind of accident in the New Yorker
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
Getting T-boned or a car accident immediately after one's wedding?
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Rebecca Taylor 5 months ago
That is a trama she won't get over soon if ever. I can only imagine how it would have been If my hubby had died at that time.
Chuck the Cat 5 months ago
How rude, Michael. Would you be saying that if that happened your spouse or your friend or their spouse?
#17
My pedi psych patient asking me “Is this what it’s like to have a mom?” When I cut his food up for him.
Panda'sMom 5 months ago
I was an EMT, a Paramedic, and an ER Nurse. One thing it all taught me is ... I hate people!
#18
Hearing the screams of a mom bc her dad gave her daughter a std .. she was 6.. having to hold a mom while she watched her son almost die in her arms due to gun violence .. I can keep going …
Chris the Bobcat 5 months ago
I would buy an island, one that is remote and uninhabited, put a few basic supplies on it, enough for a very small settlement. Then I would permanently exile every Chester to it and leave them to their own Lord of the Flies existence. Knowing that they would fight to the de@th over meager scraps, living the rest of their lives in perpetual fear, would make me feel satisfied. Chesters have no place in civilized society, ever.
Gracie Mae 5 months ago
no...please don't...I'm already having 2nd thoughts about reading these & ugly crying
Jane Hower 5 months ago
The gun didn't pick it self up an shoot the kid - A PERSON did that and for sure needs to go to jail!!! DO NOT BLAME THE GUN!!!!
#19
SANE exam on a newborn. I left.
Littlemiss 5 months ago
Omfg on a newborn? I hope the person responsible is buried in someone's back yard. It's a s*xual as*sault examination for those wondering.
Deta Rossiter 5 months ago
it is a local belief, n SA, that the man will "transfer" his AIDS to the newborn, and he will thus be cleansed by the newborn. Yes, we are a little numb to it by now
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Evan Connolly 2 months ago
Prisons have their own justice system for dealing with those people.
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Janet C 5 months ago
This is why so many women hate men. Honestly the planet would be better off without 90% of the men on it.
Evan Connolly 2 months ago
Most of the men in the world would gladly castrate the few who would do such a thing.
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#20
Seeing a man in his 30s watch outside the glass door as his wife passed away during COVID days after she birthed their baby who also didn’t make it.
That tired person 5 months ago
yea my grandpa suffered for ONE MONTH before he passed away from covid. He was 60...
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Seadog 5 months ago
Local convalescent home wouldn't let family in while basically just walking out. Many deaths. Local coroner put COVID as COD on every one of the death certificates regardless of what actually killed them. Employee of my wife lost her mother there, she had cancer, not COVID. A class action suit was started against the facility and guess who can join? Yep, anyone whose loved one was labeled COVID.
Evan Connolly 2 months ago
My sister is a nurse who transferred to a smaller city in British Columbia when she got tired of telling people that they can't visit their relatives due to COVID-19 precautions.
#21
Caring for a baby in the same NICU bed my daughter died in. They had the same diagnosis. The baby’s last name was my daughter’s first name.
Kali Chaos 5 months ago
Whoa. I am so sorry. But that kinda seems like your daughter letting you know she's still around you.
Seadog 5 months ago
My first time in NICU I made the mistake of looking around. I'll always regret it and never unsee it. After that I looked the floor when coming and going and only directly at my son while in there. Heartbreaking. If I hear of anyone having to go, I tell them to stare at the floor and don't look around.
#22
Losing my 8 week old daughter and my boss calling me the next day asking when I'd be returning to work, on the pediatric floor…
farbenzirkel 5 months ago
In Berlin (Germany), we now have a law that already partially applies our statutory maternity protection in the case of miscarriages from the 13th week of pregnancy. This includes protection against dismissal and paid leave from work (staggered, 2-8 weeks) to recover better physically and emotionally.
Alexandra 5 months ago
Must be a cultural thing. My son's boss (located in Canada; Canadian firm) did that when my son was quite seriously ill. Apparently had no idea of the labour laws governing the country in which this particular branch was located. He contacted medical services associated with that firm and they issues a warning that no one was to contact my son until medical services gave permission to do so. The thing is: where I live, you are to recover in peace. Your boss or anyone else from work is not allowed to hound you to get back. The only way you go back to work is when you feel good enough to go back or when medical services tell you that there is no reason not to go back to work. A boss calling you at home, telling you to get back to work after such a loss can and has resulted in legal proceedings.
Deborah B 5 months ago
Hope she called HR, and his boss, because that is unacceptably callous.
StrangeOne 5 months ago
HR would care less. They care more about the company than the employees.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 5 months ago
Oh hell no! That boss is a heartless a*****e and should have been fired!
The Cute Cat 5 months ago
Medic team always working on crazy hour. I realize that it is not the norm after changing profession to IT
#23
18 yr old, engaged, with brain cancer signing on to hospice. Our chaplain married her and her fiance after she held on for 4 days. She passed right after.
KieLeaHar 3 months ago
My mum worked in a Day oncology and had a woman that was my age at the time — 25ish, whose bf was 20. She was dying from cancer but he took her to America, proposed, built a house for her and they got married :). She lived about 2 weeks after that but they had only been dating for about a month and she told him he could walk away and he said NO. He liked her and was in it for life and meant it.. what’s even crueler of FATE is her best friend died the year after of the same cancer as well!! I’ll have to ask but I think it was melanoma. I never met her, but before she passed, the first girl, Naomi, asked my mum to pass a message to me: NEVER STOP RESEARCHING AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WTF HAPPENED to cause so many of us born in 86 to have SO MANY HEALTH AND MEDICAL ISSUES! My mum had told her I was. Chronically ill at that point but my life hadn’t turned to complete heII on earth yet. I’ve kept my promise to Naomi though and I do keep searching for answers.
Huddo's sister 5 months ago
My mum worked (well, mostly volunteered) as a pastoral care worker in a hospital for a while. She met a young woman in the same situation, built quite a strong relationship with her, and became a celebrant purely so she could perform their wedding before she died. I think she managed to live about two weeks after the wedding. My mum said it was truly heartbreaking, but that she was glad to have been able to bring comfort to her and help her complete her biggest wish, to marry the man she loved. I can't imagine how hard it was on the husband.
somnomania (she/her, queer) 5 months ago
not as tragic as an 18 year old but this is roughly what happened with my mom's best friend, who had AML. she went on hospice in our house, her partner was able to fly up from puerto rico, and my mom got an online certification to legally officiate a wedding. she married them, and her friend passed roughly three hours later.
#24
Being a nurse in ICU. Caring for a 25 yo woman who got H1N1 and was on life support for over a month. Pressors, vent, the whole 9. Family was never there but wouldn’t take her off life support. I took her sock off and her toes fell off into my hand. She was rotting. Had to call ethics committee.
Lady Eowyn 5 months ago
We need to learn to accept that there is a point beyond which life support is doing nothing for the patient, just the family. Let Them Go. Do the humane thing.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
I agree. And it's not even "a good thing" for the family, either. They need to learn when you have to let go for the patient's sake (AND theirs!) My family finally accepted that with my dad, 21 years after his accident. He had really bad pneumonia and staph infections in both lungs that weren't responding to treatment. My mother had made herself into a martyr over being his caregiver/keeping him alive, so it was a struggle to even get her to accept that he was finally dying. Worst part? The night that he finally died, my mom and sister bailed and said they "couldn't handle it". I was the only one who was with my dad the night he died. I held his hand all night and told him it was okay to finally let go and rest. He died in my arms. I have not forgiven my mother for not letting my dad go at the time of his accident (he sustained catastrophic brain damage) and demanding that he be kept on life support.
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Sandra Smith 5 months ago
Everyone over the age of consent, fill out an advance directive and make sure it's on file with your primary care giver! Or you can get a MOST form, which is bright green, and pin it in your home in a prominent place (like a cork board in your kitchen), if you're uninsured. The advance directive and MOST form both let you specify exactly how far doctors should go to preserve/prolong your life, and who should be your Power of Medical Attorney in the event that you can't advocate for yourself. Do this. Otherwise you could wind up like the woman in the next room (I'm in a nursing facility myself) who suffered a brain aneurysm in her mid-20's. Her parents won't let her go. She had no advance directive, so her mother insists that she receive all possible treatment. She has been here for SIX YEARS, with frequent trips to the ER. Unable to communicate, folded up in contractures, a feeding tube in her stomach, she survives, despite seizures. It's horrifying.
somnomania (she/her, queer) 5 months ago
honestly, i know it's incredibly illegal but i'd be so tempted to do some minor something that would let her slip away finally, that's so awful that she's been kept alive so long :(
Load More Replies... Rikki Kay 5 months ago
I was a nurses aide in a nursing home. A co-worker and I were transferring a diabetic patient from her wheelchair to her bed, when her foot caught on the foot rest. Co-worker went to flip up the foot rest, and 2 of her toes snapped off and rolled under the bed. Being the younger one, I got the honour of crawling under the bed to get them!
#25
Doing CPR on two babies who where siblings.. while the shooter was alive and a few rooms down.. he lived. They didn’t.
SheamusFanFrom1987 5 months ago (edited)
Sorry not sorry, but someone better call the 5-0 on me because I'd be administering a lethal dose of slow death on a certain child shooter >:-(
StrangeOne 5 months ago
I'm sure he's having a "good ol' time" in prison with his cellmates once they find out what he did.
#26
Doing compressions on someone my age who was assaulted beyond the point of recognition by her ab**er. Haven’t really been the same since that call.
#27
My favorite patient; I work in memory care and she knew EVERYTHING about me. I layed in bed with her during her final days. She told me she’ll always be rooting and watching over me. She told me to stay on earth for as long as I can.
LuckyL 5 months ago
Yes, and I need to stop reading here with an awww moment
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 5 months ago
I love the sentiment, but I can't help thinking about the difference in meanings of the word root/rooting in the US and Australia. Aussies use rooting to refer to s*x :)
#28
The scream of a father finding out his 3yo son was ran over and didn’t make it…
Jenna Kay 5 months ago
Reading these and sitting with pain can be hard, but it reminds us to treasure what we have while we have it.
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Inservio Smurf 5 months ago
This. This keeps happening. This is why SUVs are just not compatible with moral humans.
somnomania (she/her, queer) 5 months ago
one of the most gut-wrenching videos/audio i've ever experienced was dash cam (footage irrelevant, because it was out the front of the car) audio of the woman in the passenger seat receiving a phone call and being told that her elementary-school-age son was dead in a school shooting. her scream may stay with me my whole life.
#29
Doing post mortem care on a young mom while her toddler was asleep in the cot set up beside the bed.
Pyla 5 months ago
Post mortem care isn’t a post mortem, it’s just preparation for moving to the morgue
Load More Replies... Melanie Linehan 3 months ago
I get that the child was sleeping, but why would they leave the child in the same room?
KieLeaHar 3 months ago
Well if she’s asleep, you CAN do it silently and not wake her:… possibly, but they might not have had anyone there to take her? They didn’t think it through? I’m not actually sure.. body preparations for transfers are hard enough when adult family members are present and want to help, I can imagine it’s even more difficult with a bubba in the room— ESPECIALLY if she wakes up and sees her mum wrapped.
Load More Replies... somnomania (she/her, queer) 5 months ago
awful, but at least her child wasn't old enough to remember any of it
#30
I once saw a NICU nurse rocking a dead baby back and forth in her arms as if it were alive. Did that all the way to the morgue.
Learner Panda 5 months ago
Mums - me included - will rock anything that we cuddle or hold. This includes shopping trollies, dogs (other pets), bags of shopping, etc.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
Non-moms do it too. I've never given birth or been pregnant but I'll do this to my cats.
Load More Replies... #31
Post mortem SANE exam on a 16 yo.
#32
i work in a pharmacy and watching elders have to leave a medication they need because it’s $2k+ makes me feel the lump in my throat everytime.
cerinamroth 5 months ago
I think it's exceptionally generous of you to call it a healthcare system.
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HellsBells 5 months ago
The USA's 'health system' is beyond cruel and absolutely diabolical. I'm so sorry
The Cute Cat 5 months ago
Don't choose politician that cut-off UHC. It is not expensive, because all human live if priceless..
michelle neugebauer 5 months ago
I’m in Australia and most of the medications I’m prescribed are less than $7
Evan Connolly 2 months ago
Some medications cost money even in countries like Canada.
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Cheryl Draxton 3 weeks ago
I have incurable cancer so I am at the clinic 3x a week for the past 9 or so years. Seen a lot come and go in that time. Staff, treatment, hell even a new building. The ONE thing that is really getting to me is seeing the elderly on medicare completely freak out at trump's utter b******t of a healthcare plan. They are TERRIFIED that they will be left to die. Can't blame them....feel the same way. We ALL feel as if our country doesn't care WE WILL DIE if somebody doesn't stop the pos. Really makes you stop and think about how people really do not care about anyone but themselves
#33
I sat with a patient who told me “I don’t know if my baby is my dad's or step dad's.”
Littlemiss 5 months ago
Special place in hell for those guys, that poor girl deserves better than them.
Jenni Howard 5 months ago
Currently on the cusp of ww3 cos some old men can't keep their egos in check
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#34
I had a patient that wasn’t doing great after a stroke but he said he was saving up his strength to watch his granddaughters wedding on zoom… he had so much energy and then an hour before the wedding he died and I sobbed so hard.
murmelinpaiva 5 months ago
He was probably there in spirit. My husband was around for at least a week after he died, fiddling with the lights. My son-in-law and his dogs all saw hubby's ghost in the basement.
#35
When a family had to put secret cameras in their mother’s room at an assisted living facility bc of suspicion that the staff was ab**ing her…….and unfortunately they were. She had bruising all over her body.
BrownEyedPanda 5 months ago
I've seen way too many of these stories on YouTube and the news. The only time anything is done about it is when the story goes viral. Suddenly, all of that "lack of funds" and "staff shortage" no longer exists. Same thing happens regarding child abuse and teacher misconduct.
Seadog 5 months ago
My family will never put anyone in any facility ever again. Local one resulted in my moms death due to neglect. They wouldn't even let her have water because of some idiot worker deciding she was getting choked when swallowing. She swallows the same way we all do. She was there for PT after a hip replacement.
Huddo's sister 5 months ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. My grandad had to have 'thickened' water when in rehab because he couldn't swallow properly. He hated it, all he wanted was a cup of tea. We were really lucky though, where him and my grandma lived was pretty good with their care and they liked being there. My dad refuses to go into aged care though because of all the abuse and neglect that happens. Also, like me, he doesn't really want to be surrounded by a bunch of strangers.
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Uncle Schmickle 5 months ago
After finding evidence, the family should take the perpetrator out and bash the c**p out of them. The same should have been done to priests who molested children. I can't understand why a group of Dads didn't take this action.
M 5 months ago
Had to move my husband twice in one year because the memory care facilities he was in were horrible. One place had only one poor young CNA for 14 older adults all on the lock down wing. When I moved his belongings, half were missing and the other half were dirty. There was trash and ants in the room that had been there for some time. Then they complained I broke the HVAC unit before I left. Luckily I took pictures and video of the entire room before and after I moved and cleaned things up. The unit was in perfectly running condition when I shut the door. They dropped their complaint and I filed one with the state and county.
Lizabeth 5 months ago
I used to work in a nursing home in the kitchen and as a cleaner before that. I remember a guy who had his legs amputated so he needed help (obviously) to get in and out of bed into his wheel chair for the day. Turns out the nurse who was caring for him was molesting him. Female nurse. I'm not sure if she went to jail but she surely needed to go there. Makes me sick to think about it.
Harry Gondalf 5 months ago
it just happened to the mother of a friend of mine. Just a couple of weeks ago.
#36
Seeing a man in his 80s being dropped off (old folks home) and his daughter saying she'd pick him up later for his grandbaby's soccer game. He sat by a windows waiting everyday. They never even came to get his belongings when he passed.
Maim 5 months ago
How do people even LIVE with themselves after something like this? Karma, if you are real... deliver it to these people.
Load More Replies... Disgruntled Pelican 5 months ago
When I was a teenager, I worked as a housekeeper at a nursing home and I remember asking about one resident who was very quiet and largely kept to herself. One of the veteran workers told me that she had been dropped off about 20 years prior and really had no issues, her husband just didn't want to deal with her. In those 20 years, she never had a single visitor. It was devastating.
Rose the Cook 5 months ago
Having worked in nursing homes it is typical for relatives to tell the aged that they are only spending the day there.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
My dad was fully disabled (catastrophic brain damage) following an accident when I was 18. We took care of him at home, but a few times he had to go into a care facility for a few days/weeks for various reasons. Because of his condition, my mom had one of us kids stay at his bedside 24/7 while he was there. When he was deeply asleep, I'd sometimes wander the halls and talk to/visit with the other patients/elderly people who were clearly just tossed into wheelchairs and sat in the hall with no visitors. Some of them would tell me they hadn't seen a family member in YEARS. I was young (early 20s) and it broke my heart. I had my dad to take care of, but I tried to spend at least a little time with a few of the lonely elderly people. :(
Load More Replies... Lizabeth 5 months ago
I am originally from Germany so I know the German language even though I have been in Australia most of my life. I had a friend who worked in a nursing home (she was the occupational therapist) and said she had a woman who spoke German and couldn't understand English at all. Turns out her son and daughter in law moved to Australia, dumped her in the nursing home and left her there without know how to communicate with anyone. What kind of a fkg monster does that? Thankfully the therapist was a very caring person and looked after her.
michelle neugebauer 5 months ago
Families are complicated. You can’t know whether the patient you have is left because no one cares or because they have been a horrible parent and that’s why no one cares!
#37
My patient asked me for a pen and paper to make his wife a Valentine’s day card. He made the card and then coded that night.
#38
The screams of a mom who came in expecting to deliver a healthy baby and found out it was stillborn.
Partypants 5 months ago
This happened to my cousin, the umbilical cord had strangled her baby girl, it was horrific and heartbreaking. Not sure you can ever get over that.
HorseMuse 5 months ago
That happened to the brother between my sister and me. I wouldn't have been in that family had he lived, they would have stopped. Boy, girl, girl, boy. Opps, I came in as a girl...my whole family was depressed, and I was all happy to be back on Earth, fresh from the Goddess, ready to play in a house of woe. Made me the stellar Relationship Consultant I became. I help people end their relationship pain.
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NJ P 5 months ago
I don't understand how a baby does't breathe until it is out of the womb can be strangled by the umbilical cord?
Kkg 5 months ago
Umbilical cord gets entangled around the neck or other body part and the blood stops flowing through it. It's like stepping on a water hose.
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#39
Trying to draw blood an 8 month old neglected baby that weighed the same as my baby at 2 months. (11lbs, he couldn’t even hold up his head).
Tabitha 5 months ago
You know, if you don’t want them, don’t have them (yes, I know in some places that’s not possible). If you have to have them, then out them up for adoption. Please. There are people out there, good people who will be good parents, who would be overjoyed to love and raise your baby and give them a wonderful life. Don’t just have them and abuse and/or neglect them to death. FFS.
#40
Holding the hand of a 16y.o being put to sleep for surgery to take out his voice box(cancer) and his last words being “please make sure I wake up.”
#41
I had a 19 y/o patient that got in a car accident. He’s brain dead but his parents have been keeping him ventilated for almost 2 years now.
Lil Nitemare 5 months ago
My sister had a patient that had been stuck by a drunk driver as she crossed the street to her highschool prom. She was 17 at the time, and was 23 when she became my sister's patient. Brain dead. Father wouldn't let her go. He visited everyday so there's that, but he was just unable to accept she was gone. We both got living wills after that.
Hayley Shaver 1 month ago
it's hard to let go, even if it is the right thing.
Load More Replies... Nona Jaynes 5 months ago
Absolutely terrible......a grown adult SHOULD be smart enough to know when to let go. Sadly, for whatever reason, 99% are not.
Heffalump 5 months ago
Don't you think it's a little much to expect people to be rational in such circumstances?
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Kim Kermes 5 months ago
Im pushing 70. Not ready for a DNR, but I don't expect quality of life after more than a short coma. Brain dead? Let me go. There have been recoveries after lengthy vegetative states, but not brain death.
Lady Eowyn 5 months ago
I have a DNR. If I'm that far gone, let me go. I'm 70. Things can happen at any age, a DNR will protect you.
Load More Replies... Peeka_Mimi 5 months ago
This is why you need to give a trusted person, medical power of attorney.
Apachebathmat 5 months ago
I had a father who refused to let us bury/cremate his son for just under 12 months as just couldn’t bear the thought of parting with him
Dixie Girl 5 months ago
I remember a young girl, about 18 or so, dying of leukemia and parents insisted on CPR when they brought her in to the ER.
Gracie Mae 5 months ago
I know how hard it can be to let go, but at some point it needs to be done, if for nothing else, respect for the person he once was.
Donna Mixon 4 months ago
There needs to be a place these cases can go to be warehouses basically.
#42
Compressions on a man who was vomiting his own stool who told me right before he coded to tell his family to sell his clothes for rent money that month.
Becca not Becky 5 months ago
"Code blue" is what hospitals call overhead when someone goes into respiratory or cardiac arrest. Basically CPR situation. So when we say "they coded" that means the patient went into cardiac/respiratory arrest. They might make it, they may not
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#43
Little baby not even 1. Back in forth between parents losing custody. Chronically sick w/ heart condition. Picked that baby up she didn’t want to let me go. She just needed to be held. I think about her everyday I hope she is loved.
#44
Hearing a grown man cry and scream as he’s getting brought down to surgery saying that all he wants is his babies back after getting into a car accident and was the only one that survived.
Lizabeth 5 months ago
I have seen a video of a young guy who had his girlfriend in the car with him, end up going over 100 in a 30 zone,drunk at the wheel. He ran into a car where the father had his kids out with him in the back seat. The kids were ok but the father was trapped in the front of the car by the steering wheel. They had to cut him out of the car but he died on the way to the hospital. Another where a 66 year old woman (again drunk) ran into a take away shop and killed two little kids while putting the mother and another child in the hospital. The father was outside and the sound of him when he heard about what happened. Sobbing on the ground, wishing people to wake him up and tell him it's not so.
UpupaEpops 5 months ago
Some people have never experienced that. For example, I come from a culture where male aggression is almost considered virtuous, but openly expressing fear, sadness or tenderness isn't normalised. (You can guess the rates of depression, alcoholism, s*****e and gender based violence...) I'm 36 and have never seen an adult male cry.
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#45
A missing female patient dumped on the side of the road after days of the unthinkable. She was badly injured and had been Sa’d and given unk substances. She was altered and thought I was her best friend. Kept eye contact with me the entire ride. Pleaded me to help her. She screamed for me as I left her in the trauma room. Thought her bff was ditching her. I still wish I could’ve stayed for her.
#46
CNA for 7 years, ED RN for 2, thought i had been numb…i didn’t know what numb was until i drove up on my little brothers wreck and just screaming at everyone for not doing anything…while he had a fence post through his heart.
SheamusFanFrom1987 5 months ago (edited)
D*a*m*n, condolences doesn't seem sufficient enough... May he Rest In Peace T_T
7z4kfhfgxk 5 months ago
Respiratory Therapist on a NICU team that assisted with a delivery of an infant with severe genetic deformities/abnormalities. Was discovered early and parents were told to abort, guaranteed no way this child would live. Refused due to their religious and personal feelings. Baby had some form of butterfly syndrome with her skin. When doctors removed her during her c-section her whole abdomen was degloved, along with both thighs. She had no nose, and her legs were normal down to right below her knees, at which point they went flat and curved back out and away from the normal position of the legs. They looked like wooden backscratchers. We couldn’t intubate or attach any kind of breathing support b/c her skin would tear off. We could barely even get leads on her for vitals. That poor little girl lasted for about 30 hours. 2 of my shifts…. Never hated religion more!!
Lizabeth 5 months ago
I hope the parents were able to watch their little child slip away. Maybe that would have had an impact on their belief system.
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#47
I’m a paramedic. It was watching my partner die.
#48
I discharged a patient with no previous psych hx who came in for anxiety. No SI/HI/AVH just really bad trauma but good support system. Family had no concerns. She k**led herself the next morning. I will live with the guilt of not being able to identify someone who truly needed saved for the rest of my life.
The Other Guest 5 months ago
Had to look up the abbreviations. Hx is history; SI/HI/AVH is suicidal ideation, homicidal ideation, & auditory/visual hallucinations.
Pink kitty 5 months ago
How could you have known? She didn't have any history , had a good support system and there was no reason to believe that she would un alive herself.
UpupaEpops 5 months ago
A former teacher of mine told me she would love to grab a coffee with me. I put it off as I was busy with life. Two weeks later she was gone. I know that probably nothing would have helped her at that point and I was just a young adult myself. But I still feel so guilty and wonder whether that stupid coffee would have made enough of a difference. (Her father committed s*****e on her wedding day because her mom didn't want to reconcile with him. She couldn't get over the guilt...)
lori watts 5 months ago
not your fault. some people are experts at hiding their thoughts and intentions. no hx. I would have done the same thing you did.
Hayley Shaver 1 month ago
i had a foster child once and didn't know he wanted to die until after he went to live with another family.(happily) my point is, you do the best you can with what you have. you are not going to have all the info sometimes.
#49
Doing compressions on a 3 weeks old baby and holding them until the coroner arrived since no family was allowed back due to suspected neglect/abuse.
#50
A 10 week old with SDH, SAH, terrible case of shaken baby syndrome, apparently was found in between the wall and his crib and was severely malnourished.
SweetCheesySpaghetti 5 months ago
This happened to an extended family member. Parents got high/drunk and forgot about the baby. He was found two days later between the crib and a wall radiator.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago (edited)
I once had a recurring nightmare that I'd forgotten to feed one of my (childhood) pet lizards and when I went to his tank, I found him emaciated and dead. I was so shaken up by this nightmare - and it was just about a pet LIZARD I'd had when I was a child, decades ago. I cannot imagine neglecting one of my pets, let alone a human child (if I had one.) I struggled with add!ction a number of years back, and honestly, I got clean for my cat (who was my only pet at the time.) Seriously cannot fathom the selfishness of people who have children and then still go get drunk/high.
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Bi.Felicia 5 months ago
For those unsure of the acronyms- SDH: Subdural hematoma SAH: Subarachnoid hemorrhage A Subdural hematoma (SDH) is a collection of blood between the dura mater (outer layer of the brain's protective membranes) and the arachnoid mater (middle layer). It usually occurs due to a traumatic brain injury. A subarachnoid hemorrhage (SAH) is bleeding into the space between the arachnoid mater and the pia mater (inner layer) of the brain. It can be caused by a ruptured aneurysm, trauma, or other medical conditions.
#51
Having a patient dying told me “don’t leave. sit with me and hold my hand” while she took her last breaths. She had dementia and thought I was her daughter.
#52
memorial day weekend 2022. 3 kids died in our ED. Srowning, unexplained and a homicide. The homicide was 7 weeks old, he died alone. His father, who was also the grandfather k**led him.
#53
Saying goodbye to my son in the hospital i had worked 6 years at. Helped save so many lives at that hospital yet i couldn’t save my baby.
#54
Being an oncology nurse. That’s it, that’s all.
kzys59pcrp 5 months ago
They were some of the most upbeat nurses I have ever met. Every time I went in for chemo they were so welcoming. When I went in for a check up months after finishing chemo they were so excited to see me. They admired my hair growth and said I was looking so good. Lovely people
Rinso The Red 5 months ago
As this is past tense, I'm hoping that means you're doing better now. Best of luck going forward either way
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Pandasizing World Peace 5 months ago
Chemo nurse I knew said chemo was like pouring gasoline on a fire.
Papa 5 months ago
All of the nurses I've dealt with during mine or relative's illnesses and injuries have been nothing but compassionate and professional. Please don't feel that badly about an entire profession because of one bad experience.
Load More Replies... #55
Teaching a mom how to dry up her milk supply after delivering her baby stillborn. Broke me.
RomanceRadish 5 months ago
This is so sad. Becoming engorged while Llactating is horrible on its own, but would be unimaginably cruel if the baby was no longer alive.
CatD 5 months ago
Expressing milk for other newborns might have made her feel better. It would if it had been me.
Load More Replies... #56
A boy with a GSW due to being caught in a cross fire, heading to his high school graduation- grabbed my arm and told me, “please don’t let me die.” He had passed shortly after..
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
Unfortunately America is not the only country with gun violence. Please do not presume.
Load More Replies... #57
Holding an iPad for a family to say goodbye during the peak of Covid. That’s when I knew this career was changed forever.
#58
Taking care of a premature baby the day he was born doing cute footprints for his family. Only less than a month later doing compressions on him and having to do footprints again after he passed.
#59
A mother bringing in her baby that had been gone for a few days already, she was on the influence when she came and feel to her knees asking someone to do CPR but the baby was cold and presumed over 3 days gone :(
#60
He couldn’t breathe. I held my patients hand and began lowering him down to prepare for emergency intuabtion during COVID. I will never forget his huge, blue, teary eyes staring right into my soul. The head of his bed was lowered flat, but he sat upright holding my hand, our eyes locked. We said nothing, everyone around us was frantically preparing. His breathing was labored, he was struggling, but he never looked away. When it was time, the doctor asked if the patient was ready. He gave me a single nod of affirmation, and said “please don’t let me die.” We stayed locked in until the sedation kicked in, and he finally surrendered. The intubation was successful, but he died days later, only a month before his wedding. I still lose sleep over him. I feel like I failed him, even though I didn’t. But he chose me in that room, and we made a pact. Thank you for letting me write this.
Colleen Glim 5 months ago
Covid sucked. And Covid deniers need to go die in a hole. So many people died, a lot of them needlessly, because people didn’t believe it was real
Apachebathmat 5 months ago
I collected so many people from hospital who died from Covid, hundreds in fact. Straight onto a coffin in whatever they were wearing when they came in, coffin sealed and no family allowed to visit. The times I cried with family on the phone, begging me to let them see them just one more time and having to say no nearly finished me. I won’t even talk to a covid conspiracy theorist, bunch of uneducated muppets
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#61
As a healthcare worker of 16 years nothing has numbed me more than coming home after a 12 hour shift and finding my dad had passed and was cold.
#62
Idk about numb, but when I thought I had been through enough..A child came in torn up by dogs head to toe. EMS, nursing staff, doctors, just everyone.. all were shaken up pretty bad. I think that stuck with everyone for a while.
Pandasizing World Peace 5 months ago
I will never trust small children alone with dogs. Never.
#63
Husband and wife were on my unit both with Covid. I helped them FaceTime their kids for them and each other not knowing if both or either would make it. They never got to say goodbye to each other. Wife passed shortly after this. A year later the husband got admitted again and remembered me. He told his kids who I was and they all hugged me sobbing and thanking me for caring for their parents. I learned later he passed after that admission.
#64
An old man asking for a hug after family decided to put his wife on hospice “she’s all i have left.”
#65
Literally my favourite resident dying because of a broken heart a week after Christmas because her son died I didn’t even get to see her before hand and I didn’t even get to go to the funeral because there was none .. she had no other family just her son .. I was so enraged for her nobody deserves that..
#66
Delivering a stillborn baby on the floor of triage while i myself was 35 weeks pregnant.
#68
A client of mine who had cancer, finally beat it, but not even two weeks into remission passing away from the flu and pneumonia. Not even two weeks of being cancer free. I always think of them.
#69
Having a pediatric cancer patient pass away from the secondary cancer she got from the radiation they used to cure her initial cancer. She was 14.
Colleen Glim 5 months ago
They tell you about that risk when you start radiation treatments. It’s not common but sometimes the cure is worse than the cause
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
But please, for anyone reading this, don't let this cause you to NOT choose chemo to treat cancer if you/a loved one is ever diagnosed. Be informed of all of the risks. Check the statistics. Yes, chemo can be dangerous. But you generally have a much higher chance of survival WITH chemo than WITHOUT it, for many forms of cancer.
Load More Replies... #70
Waiting for fire department to arrive to the scene of a multi-car collision. I can still hear the woman screaming from the car engulfed in flames. The silence after still haunts me.
Judy Reynolds 5 months ago
I've heard that's similar to what the survivors from the Titanic remember.
#71
Seeing a dementia patient look into a mirror and say “I feel 19 but I look in the mirror and see this old lady looking at me”
#72
A toddler pool drowning. Taking care of the mother a week later and having her committed; A few weeks after that, trying to resuscitate her post self inflicted gun shot. She had other school-aged children - all whom watched their sibling and parent die traumatic deaths.
#74
Working a code for a mom 5 days postpartum and seeing dad holding that tiny baby thinking this child might grow up without their mom.
#75
Sleeping in my favorite residents chair on my only night off cause her family wasn’t there.. she died at 1:15am. I went home cried. Changed and went to work by 6am.
#76
Doing compressions on a man who unalived his whole family, and now we had to save him.
#77
Doing compressions on my mom on the side of the road and realizing that all of the education meant nothing without access to resources.
#78
We had called the pt’s parents to let them know if they wanted to say goodbye they needed to come to the hospital & his parents missed him by 5 minutes.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
Was your spouse able to say goodbye, at least? :(
Load More Replies... #79
A dad and his daughter sitting outside the mom’s hospital room who had just unexpectedly passed. Janitor cleaned it up and they had someone else in there within maybe hour? He looked at us and said “things move fast around here huh”.
Papa 5 months ago (edited)
The family has the option to go somewhere quiet.
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Papa 5 months ago
I didn't down vote, but why? How long should they keep the room empty, especially if they have sick or injured people needing a room?
Load More Replies... #80
Seeing a mother not care or even cry that her 8 y/o coded and died because she overdosed that baby on meds to make her sleep…
Oskar vanZandt 5 months ago
I would wish instant eternal sleep on her for doing that to her child...
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#81
Seeing my 16yo daughter’s best friend’s twisted and mangled body from drinking and driving.
Colleen Glim 5 months ago
Why do people still do this? Drunk driving kills. Don’t care if you’ve only had one. Just don’t. It’s not that hard to understand
Gavin Johnson 5 months ago
When I was 17 and had just passed my driving test I was allowed to use my Dad’s car. He had simple rules for using it, one of which was a zero tolerance to drinking and driving, if one drink passed your lips, no matter how weak it may be, then you don’t drive, you may very well be under the legal limit but you aren’t under Dad’s limit. It’s a rule I followed ever since.
Load More Replies... #83
Have a 11yr coming in for her wellness visit and having some knee pain. Mom brushed it off as growing pains….turns out it was cancer.
talliloo 5 months ago
this kind of hit close to home although it wasn't cancer. remember telling my mom on and off while growing up of pain i would have in my body. i was also known as the family klutz because i would break or green fracture bones from stupid accidents that would normally just leave a bruise on someone else. it wasn't until i was in my late 30s i finally was diagnosed with a brittle bone disease that even confuses the doctors because it doesn't fall into any specific catagory. doing research with the docs eventually found out it was a genetic thing. my siblings also have it in various degrees. never told my mom about it because i didn't want her to feel guilty for blaming it on 'growing pains'.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
How can you type that sentence without actually realizing what you've just said? An 11-year-old with cancer is "pretty tame"? According to your other comments, your grandfather died of cancer. Was that "pretty tame" too?
Load More Replies... #84
A husband telling me “I’m okay, I just didn’t think I was gonna lose her today” and carry her belongings out alone. Cried in the hallway for 20 minutes.
#85
Newlyweds with the wife who just got diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic pancreatic cancer. Husband refused to sleep the entire 3 nights in the ICU with us having to walk it through with him about hospice.
#86
A woman caked in blood from trying to save her fiance after an accident was in shock as I checked her for injuries and couldn't answer any questions. But the wail she let out when her mom walked in lives in my brain forever.
#87
The death rattle changed me. Now I can’t unhear it when I do hear it.
Littlemiss 5 months ago
It's definitely a sound you never forget. Heard it twice, never want to hear it again.
Michael Largey 5 months ago (edited)
I heard my father's. His doctor told him that those headaches were just stress. He died of a brain aneurism.
#88
Watching a mom get cut and ripped open during a c-section when she wasn’t numb. Her screams haunt me.
Alex Boyd 5 months ago
Maybe the fetus was in so much distress they couldn't wait for the medication to take effect?
Load More Replies... DC 5 months ago
Yes, it would. Not by anybody's desire to inflict pain, but by stuff going wrong, by unexpected circumstances of various kinds, ... allergies, inflammations, other medication people might need, all can, possibly, interfere with the mechanism of the anaesthetica in question, and although procedures are safer and less painful now than then, they're not perfect. Mistakes of all kinds happen, and even those. Nobody needs to want stuff for stuff to happen regardless, do they?
Load More Replies... #89
Holding a random man’s hand as he took his last breath because his family didn’t want to come in and see him like that. Who knows what he did, but he didn’t go out alone.
#90
Putting a baby who only lived a few days in the cooler in the morgue. Shutting the door and walking away wrecked me.
#91
Having to “code” the love of my life and he never woke up again and having to return to work like nothing happened.
#92
Watching a teen mom give birth and not wanting to hold or see the baby but instead asked when can she go back to school. I held her baby in my hands and cried. I told the baby that she was loved and that I loved her. My daughter was 6 months at that time.
Daune Tullina 5 months ago
Give the teen mom the benefit of the doubt before yiu comment negatively. It sounds like she was in shock. The baby could have been the result of r**e or incest or a pregnancy she was forced to go through because of the stripping away of womens rights
whodunnitfan2013 5 months ago
I don't blame that girl at all. Hope she was able to go back to school, but she should have had access to abortion.
Pandasizing World Peace 5 months ago
Cannot blame the teen for not wanting to hold or see her baby. But at least, she will always have the peace of mind knowing she did not k**l this child. There are many loving couples ready and willing to adopt babies that were not aborted.
Michael Largey 5 months ago (edited)
Young people commonly measure the severeness of their medical condition by how long it will keep them out of school.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
Did you read the title of this post? It's asking healthcare workers what hurt their hearts/numbed them to their profession. It's NOT asking what YOU think or feel about the situations they talk about.
Load More Replies... PeepPeep the duck 5 months ago (edited)
She’s a kid herself, that’s unfair. Imagine being permanently punished for a mistake or circumstance you went through as a teen, picture your worst moment as a teen, do you think you should be brandished as adult still for it?
Load More Replies... #93
Watching an adult son try to pull the teeth out of his mom's mouth when she died. He was convinced she was a body double and the hospital was faking her death.
#94
Doing CPR on a baby, then having mom say "baby wake up, sissy and brother want to play, please WAAAKKEEE UPPPP!!" then the doctor pronounced him dead since we had been doing CPR for over an hour without success.
#95
A female dementia patient who kept calling her husband the name of the man she cheated on him with for years.
PeepPeep the duck 5 months ago (edited)
We had one close to this but reversed, she would always randomly bring up all these “encounters” and mention bill was away for work and “Paul” etc is coming over for a bit and we all needed to leave now 😂 but her husband bill and daughter said she’s never cheated or actually been like that as a person ever, which is believable from the lifestyle she had and th fact bill is a farmer and not a travelling man 😂 I just figured maybe she read romance novels a lot as a housewife
#96
Doing compressions on a 19y/o that was shot while i was 19 and hearing the mother screaming to save her baby.
#97
Walking an actively psychotic pediatric inpatient psych patient over to the adult side the morning of her 18th birthday.
#98
Having a lady with dementia who is also blind ask me to pray with her because she was scared.
#99
Coding patient and he didn’t make it. Later to find his wife had overdosed in his arms while viewing his body. Then proceeded to code her.
#100
A 20 yo female came in after being dr**ged and later on passed away, I’m a 20 yo female and often went to the same place where she got dr**ged.
PeepPeep the duck 5 months ago
It’s scary as, a guy recently tried it on me and I’m 37, it was around 2021 at a costume party in Perth and this guy insisted he got me a cocktail, he got it anyways despite the fact I don’t drink and had pineapple juice already (I’m a stoner). Kept going on about Princess Jasmine being his childhood crush, as that’s who I dressed as and I go look a lot like her. My boyfriend was blind drunk and had no idea this was happening and just picks up the cocktail and downs it, and I had a roofied 100kg man to get into my car. (I don’t know what d***s it was, but it was pretty bad).
Bi.Felicia 5 months ago
Just curious, if your boyfriend was so intoxicated that he had no idea what was happening and was on the verge of blacking out, why wouldn't you take him to a hospital or medical facility, after he consumed another entire alcoholic drink that was likely laced with rohypnol or some other CNS depressing drúg? I would be worried that he would stop breathing or who knows what, depending on what exactly was mixed into that drink.
Load More Replies... #101
A patient shot himself in the head while we were not even 15 yards away from him, and a nurse was in the room with him. Didn’t know he had the gun (obvi). We then had to quickly get over the shock so we could resuscitate him. Been numb to everything since, except loud noises.
#102
First time doing CPR and feeling ribs break, and the death rattle.
#104
Peds code with a girl the same birthday as me. I helped parents get settled when they got there then went to help with compressions. I will always remember her name cuz I can always hear her mom screaming it. I always think of her when I blow out my candles.
#105
Seeing a 14yo boy 3x a week for wound care for stab wound for 3 months. Finally healed, 2 weeks later he was shot and k**led in a d**g deal, he told me he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up :(
#106
Asked a woman what her typical eating habits were (I’m an RD). She immediately burst into tears. Her husband did all the cooking and he passed shortly before she got admitted.
#107
"Can you give us a pill so we can sleep forever" the man of the couple living at the elderly home said to me. His wife had severe alzheimers, I believe...
DC 5 months ago
Provide yourself with these way, way ahead of anything expectable! You do your relatives a favour if that stuff is sorted beforehand, and if they know your wishes, they might even help you out of life as easy as possible. Nothing wrong with that, but it's got to be, strictly, according to the patient's wishes. Sort how you steer clear of legal implications, too - what can somebody ask from a relative, what's allowed to deliver, what's not, the likes thereof.
#108
Watching a resident's dementia slowly get worse, you just watch them lose themselves.
BrownEyedGrrl 5 months ago
I am so sorry. I watched my mom slowly deteriorate due to #Alzheimers. It was just horrible.
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Smeghead Tribble Down Under 5 months ago
My father's going through this. Has been in hospitals for nine months because there are no nursing home places available. Good times -_- No friends or relos to help; just myself and my 75 y.o mum.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
Despite your somewhat callous comments elsewhere, I'm sorry you're going through this, Smeggy. I helped caregive for my grandmother (ALS plus dementia) and my father (catastrophic brain damage) so I know how absolutely brutal dementia/brain issues can be. Hugs <3
Load More Replies... #109
Honestly working as a dialysis tech and getting close with patients and then coming into work to an empty chair….. you never realize how hard an empty chair hits you until it’s your closest patient.
#110
Pronouncing someone’s dad dead on Christmas Day when they were supposed to go home that day.
NotAThreat (he/him) 5 months ago
my stepmother's mum died a day before Christmas when she (my step-mama)was only one, her dad is an amazing person.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
My dad's accident happened on Thanksgiving Day. He died on Mother's Day (21 years later.) It truly does taint the holidays for a long time. His accident happened in 2000 (24 years ago) and my mom and sister still refuse to have/hold/attend Thanksgiving and they will go to one of my mother's favorite tribal casinos for the holiday. I used to just have Thanksgiving with my boyfriend (now ex) and pets, but I moved back home in October of last year, so I spent Thanksgiving alone (well, with my pets.) My aunt brought me a plate of food, at least.
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Lost Panda 5 months ago
Seen a bit, but the one that truly broke me was not when I was actively medical, but doing security in a hospital after leaving the military. There was a ward for dementia/alzheimer's/etc. elderly patients. One man would talk to me every night when I went through the ward, best twenty minutes of the shift. His family never visited, the staff were frustrated with him (thought he was about 7 or 8, so rambuncious). I'll never forget the way he looked at me beaming, holding up a chicken leg saying "Mr. Panda! I got fried chicken!"
Gaius214 5 months ago
Once I started this thread I knew I had to read the whole lot. Didn't want to, however all of these people & moments deserve their due.
Lizabeth 5 months ago
I agree whole heartedly. They were all really heart wrenching in their own way. Especially the ones about the babies being SAd. How anyone can do that is so beyond comprehension to me. They have to be mentally disturbed people for sure. No one normal can do something like that.
Load More Replies... Littlemiss 5 months ago
This was a horrendous read. So much trauma and tragedy. Quite a few creatures who caused such atrocities belong underground instead of on top of it.
Robin Roper 5 months ago
This was many years ago and hospitals were way different but as a 14 year old, watching a 5-6 year old being wheeled by on a gurney with his brains exposed then later hearing this little boy'd father scream out and cry with sorrow on learning his son didn't live. This was the same father who was driving the truck from which his son was riding in the bed and was "bounced" out. Never, ever let anyone ride in the back of an open vehicle - ever.
Snazzy Smurf 5 months ago (edited)
I have nothing but mad respect. The desire and drive of healthcare workers to be there for people is amazing and appreciated.
SheamusFanFrom1987 5 months ago (edited)
After reading this, this Man-da has concluded that working in healthcare is not for everyone, certainly not for me. Not even 1/2-way through and I could feel myself breaking down in the office. Thank you all, people in the medical and healthcare field, for your service and your strength. Goodness knows how many of us you all have to save as well as be strong for at times T_T As for the rest of y'alls, be safe always. You won't know how many hearts and souls you'll break because of any form of carelessness or recklessness, whether you know them or whether they're trying their absolute hardest to save you...
Emilu 5 months ago
I could never do healthcare work and I think the people that can/do are angels. I didn't cry whilst reading this; I was proud. (Almost, but not quite.)
C Hendrix 5 months ago
Saddest story I ever heard: My aunt was giving birth, and my uncle and one other prospective father were in the waiting room. After a few hours, the nurse came in and told my uncle "Congratulations! You're the father of TWO healthy baby girls!!" She then turned to the other father and said, "I'm so sorry, sir, your baby didn't make it."
Jude Laskowski 5 months ago
For a few years I working in a rural hospital. The Labor & Delivery unit was usually locked except for moms, docs and nurses. Men had to wait outside because no one knew if the baby was the husband's or boyfriend's. They had to go through a metal detector and Security confiscated all the g*ns.
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Lost Panda 5 months ago
Seen a bit, but the one that truly broke me was not when I was actively medical, but doing security in a hospital after leaving the military. There was a ward for dementia/alzheimer's/etc. elderly patients. One man would talk to me every night when I went through the ward, best twenty minutes of the shift. His family never visited, the staff were frustrated with him (thought he was about 7 or 8, so rambuncious). I'll never forget the way he looked at me beaming, holding up a chicken leg saying "Mr. Panda! I got fried chicken!"
Gaius214 5 months ago
Once I started this thread I knew I had to read the whole lot. Didn't want to, however all of these people & moments deserve their due.
Lizabeth 5 months ago
I agree whole heartedly. They were all really heart wrenching in their own way. Especially the ones about the babies being SAd. How anyone can do that is so beyond comprehension to me. They have to be mentally disturbed people for sure. No one normal can do something like that.
Load More Replies... Littlemiss 5 months ago
This was a horrendous read. So much trauma and tragedy. Quite a few creatures who caused such atrocities belong underground instead of on top of it.
Robin Roper 5 months ago
This was many years ago and hospitals were way different but as a 14 year old, watching a 5-6 year old being wheeled by on a gurney with his brains exposed then later hearing this little boy'd father scream out and cry with sorrow on learning his son didn't live. This was the same father who was driving the truck from which his son was riding in the bed and was "bounced" out. Never, ever let anyone ride in the back of an open vehicle - ever.
Snazzy Smurf 5 months ago (edited)
I have nothing but mad respect. The desire and drive of healthcare workers to be there for people is amazing and appreciated.
SheamusFanFrom1987 5 months ago (edited)
After reading this, this Man-da has concluded that working in healthcare is not for everyone, certainly not for me. Not even 1/2-way through and I could feel myself breaking down in the office. Thank you all, people in the medical and healthcare field, for your service and your strength. Goodness knows how many of us you all have to save as well as be strong for at times T_T As for the rest of y'alls, be safe always. You won't know how many hearts and souls you'll break because of any form of carelessness or recklessness, whether you know them or whether they're trying their absolute hardest to save you...
Emilu 5 months ago
I could never do healthcare work and I think the people that can/do are angels. I didn't cry whilst reading this; I was proud. (Almost, but not quite.)
C Hendrix 5 months ago
Saddest story I ever heard: My aunt was giving birth, and my uncle and one other prospective father were in the waiting room. After a few hours, the nurse came in and told my uncle "Congratulations! You're the father of TWO healthy baby girls!!" She then turned to the other father and said, "I'm so sorry, sir, your baby didn't make it."
Jude Laskowski 5 months ago
For a few years I working in a rural hospital. The Labor & Delivery unit was usually locked except for moms, docs and nurses. Men had to wait outside because no one knew if the baby was the husband's or boyfriend's. They had to go through a metal detector and Security confiscated all the g*ns.
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