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In a 2018 Times opinion essay 'The Boys Are Not All Right,' American actor, comedian, and writer Michael Ian Black wrote: "The past 50 years have redefined what it means to be female in America. Girls today are told that they can do anything, be anyone. They've absorbed the message: They're outperforming boys in school at every level. But it isn't just about performance. To be a girl today is to be the beneficiary of decades of conversation about the complexities of womanhood, its many forms and expressions."

"Boys, though, have been left behind. No commensurate movement has emerged to help them navigate toward a full expression of their gender. It's no longer enough to 'be a man' — we no longer even know what that means."

Also, surveys from around the world find that males everywhere are reluctant to talk about their mental health and are far more likely to die by suicide than females.

Interested in the everyday implications of this, Reddit user Workdncsheets posted a question on the platform, asking "What are some things that are normal to men but mind-blowing to women?" and it immediately went viral. Here are some of the most popular replies among the 2.8K comments they've received.

#1

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men I'm 39. I started down an entirely new career path in mid-January. I've had horrible imposter syndrome since day 1 but the new job feels good. My boss (who happens to be a woman) sent me the nicest most complimentary email thanking me for being such a good addition to the team and I sincerely cried because in all my years in the workforce nobody has ever appreciated me so much. I imagine to her it was just one of those things a good boss does - "hey, my employee did a good job, I should tell them!" I sent it to my dad when he asked me how the new job was going. Even HE cried out of pride. Men don't get compliments, and when we do, we really feel it.

GWindborn , Tom Pumford Report

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Doctor Strange
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men don't get compliments. I can remember the last time I got an unsolicited compliment on my looks. I remember it clear as day. I was 6 years old. I'm 40 now.

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#2

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men Two guy friends could spend the afternoon together, have a grand time, come home, and have their respective wives be absolutely bewildered that they didn’t learn anything about what’s going on in the other guy's life.

cen-texan , Tyler Nix Report

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#3

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men The first time my wife showered with me she stops and says “it’s moving! Are you doing that? Why is it moving?” That was when I realized, if you don’t have a dong, you don’t know that they can move around as your testicles move, nor do you know that testicles move around all the time on their own. Particularly in an environment where the temperature is getting either hot or cold, like a shower. Balls move and balls itch. It’s what they do. And d***s have a mind of their own. Don’t ask me why it’s hard, I’ve been asking it that since I hit puberty.

DeaddyRuxpin , Carson Masterson Report

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ninjaTrashPandaBoom
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every boy has an embarrassing story or two of getting an erection at the worst possible time. Mine was doing a math problem at the chalkboard in class, BOING, guess who just woke up and decided to say hi to the world!

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#4

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men Had a meetup with the boys for hours. not a single photo was taken.

mastersyx , Ashkan Forouzani Report

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Rocky Wheelwright
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish everyone did this. Living your life through taking photos isn’t healthy. Be in the moment, don’t worry about your phone.

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#5

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men Being single means no physical contact for extended periods. Or just me. I haven't been hugged in over 4 years. The last time I touched someone else was a handshake 5 months ago.

ridethroughlife , Kevin Lee Report

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Multa Nocte
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of the things I love about living in France is all the bisous (kisses) that we (male and female) give and get in daily interactions.

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#6

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men Being treated as a danger regardless of what you do.

MarsNirgal , Roan Lavery Report

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Jason
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is sadly true. I've always been good with kids. I love mine. I just feel mega awkward and judged if I interact in public with them. Had moms give me a hard time when I am at the playground with my son even.

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#7

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men My wife continually asks me 'did anyone say anything about your shirt/hair/shoes/etc?'

No, no one says anything about my appearance.

lollerkeet , Victor Larracuente Report

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Jason
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My concern is to verify I am infact wearing pants and usually shoes before leaving the house and I'm good.

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#8

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men As a woman I can say something that blows my mind constantly about men is being able to leave the house with no bag. Just like keys and wallet in pockets. 0 inventory. Wild to me.

cinnamonbutterfly , Mathias Reding Report

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Kathy Richardson
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a 59 year old woman and I discovered years ago the only thing I need is my wallet. Still have purses, just never use them.

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#9

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men From what I am constantly told - the size of our standard pants pockets is mind-blowing.

supermodern , SHVETS production Report

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Jason
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wear the dad cargo shorts. Need all the edc stuff and kids stuff.

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#10

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men Long car rides with another dude, nobody says anything and nobody is mad.

zenzealot , RDNE Stock project Report

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LaserBrain
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not always necessary to fill the quiet spaces with words. Some people don't understand that.

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#11

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men Men just naturally have a level of strength that surprises women. Testosterone is a hell of a d**g.

For example: my wife has been going to the gym for a while now. She's noticeably stronger now and it's awesome for her. I actually commented and complimented it the other night. But me, a dumpy 45 year old man whose exercise is walking and carrying groceries, I'm still stronger than her just because I'm a guy.

cbftw , Victor Freitas Report

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VOTE if you live in the USA
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a female weightlifter, this annoys and astonishes me to no end! Dudes are just strong. It's amazing.

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#12

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men Erection =\= Aroused.

It boggles their mind that just cause a guy gets hard doesn’t mean he is ready to go. Sometimes it just…happens.

PastPriority-771 , cottonbro studio Report

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Dirk Daring
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also we're not always ready to pop a rod at the drop of a hat. We're not actually ready for intimate relations 100% of the time. I had a girlfriend who took it very personally and would get angry when I simply wasn't in the mood. It felt very demeaning to me.

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#13

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men My friends who I haven't seen in YEARS went camping with me recently for four days. I got back and my wife asked me what's been going on in their lives. I pondered and said that I don't really know beyond some got married at some point, one had a kid but I don't know when, and that we mainly talked random stuff. One night we had ended up making a tier list of dipping sauces over three hours.

dBoyHail , Xue Guangjian Report

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Cosmikid
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Old friends get-together? 1st up; we want to remember old times, and what we were then. Recent stuff; may come up; but it's not why we're here. Yeah, women are different here.

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#14

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men In general (the men I know), discussing a partners body or intimate relationship details would be crossing a line and is at best weird, and at worst a betrayal.

Classic-Economy2273 , Seven 7 Report

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Vada
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men (and women) I have known do quite the opposite. So this guy knows some decent people.

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#15

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men Having to suppress emotional responses, anxiety, depression otherwise being considered a loser, weak and worthless.

Fine-Geologist-695 , Alex Green Report

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GettingCereal
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this why so many men don't talk about their private lives with their friends? :-(

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#16

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men We clean off s**t stuck to the inside of the toilet bowl when we p**s. It ain’t much but it’s honest work.

Outrageous-Mail-1267 , Jean van der Meulen Report

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BoredPossum
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, universally used. It's like catching a ghost with a proton pack, you aim with the beam. But don't cross the beams.

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#17

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men I don't remember the birthday of my best friend of 12 years. i just know its in January.

Coolstashio , lil artsy Report

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Dark Pearl
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what is even the point of male friendships? none of you clearly know anything about each other and it seems to me that these connections aren't truly meaningful. I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just genuinely confused

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#18

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men The expectation to help in certain situations, especially as a big guy.

I went to retirement party for a person I never met before (invited by a friend). Literally minutes after I showed up, some random lady came up to me and *told* me to come with her because she needed something carried somewhere.

After I helped the woman above, I remember my (female) friend was kinda surprised that this woman just demanded I help her, without knowing who I was at all. I don't mind helping. On some level it's nice (?) knowing that I look strong enough to help people do things they physically can't. But this happens ALL. THE. TIME. Which also surprised her.

bigguy14433 , RDNE Stock project Report

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PHOTOBOB
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't count the number of times I have helped women in stores reach things because I am tall. Just the other day in the grocery store a woman said "excuse me...". I looked and just said "the blue one?". She was surprised that I did not mind helping. Lady. You would not believe how many times I have done this.

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#19

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men That we don’t socialize/talk/bond with other guys in the bathroom.

No talking in the bathroom. You go in, take care of business, wash your hands, and get out.

No standing next to another dude at the urinal unless you have no choice.

Women’s behavior in the bathroom is considerably different than men’s behavior, or so I’ve been told.

FbxCycler , Lany-Jade Mondou Report

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Jason
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The dude code of urinal selection is a thing, but I've always had people talk to me while using them.

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#20

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men My female friends don’t roast each other like I do with my friends. It’s all in good fun, but I can’t joke with them like I do with my male friends.

SorryWorldliness5296 , Lisa Fotios Report

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Indosidius
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a man, I noticed that women can be...... sensitive..... about roasting. They take it very personal. So I don't roast them. Then they complain that I am different with them than with my male friends. So I roast them, then they get all offended and tell me to not be so personal. I think women are doing it to unbalance men, and I will die on this hill

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#21

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men How much stress some of us feel trying to be providers.

Which probably isn't mind-blowing to single mothers.

xubax , cottonbro studio Report

#22

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men Apparently just thinking of ”nothing”. Total zoning out.

ahjteam , Cody Doherty Report

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Cosmikid
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also not gender; but individual. Wide variance on this one. "Zoning" is not generally harmful- in fact people study how to do it - Zen, you know.

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#23

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men The complete f*****g mystery that is flirting.


The anxiety of approaching someone you're interested in and making the first move. Straight women act like it's nothing but I have known Bi women who get as anxious as any man who approaches a woman.


Getting kicked in the balls.


Knowing that when you shake hands with another man that when he squeezes your hand he is sizing you up. Deciding whether or not he could take you in a fight.


Understanding that being told "be yourself" is the equivalent for women of "he'll like you for your personality".


If you see a woman, let's say at work, openly crying she may be having anything from a tough day to having suffered a serious personal loss. Where as if you see a man doing this at work he's probably 6 minutes from s*****e. Not having the freedom to cry is so worked into the concept of manhood that most men can't even when they want to.

MartialBob , Katerina Holmes Report

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BoredPossum
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with everything except the handshake. A handshake tells me if the person is nice, trustworthy, considering himself above, below or equal to me, and if he is an a$$hat or not.

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#24

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men My wife didn’t realize she’d been seeing this for years in various guys until she asked me what it was. I call it the “Howdy Pardner” - when you realize one or both of the twins is stuck to your leg so you kinda haunch out like a cowboy walking with his spurs on for just a split second and everything unsticks.

baltinerdist , Мария Волк Report

#25

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men How disposable we feel. Like Chris Rock said, "Only women, children, and puppies are loved unconditionally ".

RepresentativeDog141 , Nik Shuliahin Report

#26

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men Mainly mind blowing to my wife.
When something in the house breaks, needs repairing, repainting, generally attended to. I don't have an automatic man signal straight to my brain that tells me what to do.
I have to go away, watch YouTube videos, read methods, roam around B&Q for a solution. It takes failed attempts and roaming around the offending situation cursing to myself when no one around untill I either fix it. Or call another male via form of payment to fix it because I'm out of my depth.
My wife is under the impression her role is to identify something is wrong and just hand it to me because I will "know what to do".

Portman88 , Theme Photos Report

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Helena
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am flummoxed by this one. Men and women in my family do repairs of all the things. I've helped aunts rewire a light, helped mom cut up a tree, and helped granpa buid a shelf.

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#27

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men Struggling to do something in public and no one coming over to assist you.

i-need-blinker-fluid , charlesdeluvio Report

#28

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men Living in an apartment with a tv and no furniture. Lol!!!

Afrochemist , andrewwkfan69 Report

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Crescent 3
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was single, I could definitely have lived here. The only things I would have added would be a bed and a TV tray.

Pandamanda
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Normal for anyone starting out-whether man or woman. I had to start over from scratch in November 2022, and I can only afford so much per month on furniture. I still have a card table in my kitchen because a real table/chairs just isn't in the budget for a few more months.

kathleen pool
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Couch functions as seat, bed, dining table, computer desk and sometimes snack storage

Sven Horlemann
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nah, I'd need my guitars, amps, cabs, and some acoustic treatment. That would work!

Dash Junior
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My clutter annoys the sheet out of me. I wish that I could have a chair and a tv and dishes to eat off of and a pan to cook with and a cup and a glass and bowls for cat food and litter boxes for my cats and a nice bed to sleep on and clothes and shoes. I, a man, have so much c**p that is sitting on counter tops, and on shelves, and on top of dressers, and leaning against walls, and hanging from doors. Ahhhhhhh! I do not understand why I can not just get rid of stuff. So, the chair and the tv and the lamp is much closer to what I want in my apartment…….

Ken Beattie
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Using cardboard boxes as makeshift furniture too. Why buy a side table when I can stand that amazon box there and rest my cuppa on it?

iseefractals
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A floor lamp AND a coffee table? Well someone sure is fancy.

Steve Hall
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would substitute a computer for the TV, but otherwise it would be fine.

InfiniteZeek
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everything else is just clutter that would add hours to cleaning time. A tv, a nice couch, and a bed; that is all you need.

MushroomHead22
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if i were single, i still wouldn't want to live like this. its so depressing.

Nicole Weymann
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is an ... interesting setup. Half of the wall missing so you can use it as a pass through, low enough you could ignore the door and just take the gap. I'm still undecided if I like it or hate it. Did the used to have an aquarium there?

Isabella
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the only thing from this list I really do not understand! :))

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#29

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men Saying that you are or being sad and being completely ignored. Getting zero likes on social media for a post.

serene_brutality , Inzmam Khan Report

#30

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men Going a long period of time without sex or a relationship. For some reason, women think it's easy for men to find someone. They think there is someone out there that would do it or we can just pull women at will.

genogano , Mika Baumeister Report

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Ace
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since I was very young I've always believed that women could get a man any time they wanted to (Jealous? Yes). I know it's not true, but it astonishes me to learn that some women would think the opposite, like this suggests.

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#31

Not being complimented for years.

Ruminations0 Report

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Jessica Shookhoff
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This and not being able to cry keep coming up and it's really hurting my heart! Just, if you're reading this, the next person you see, say something nice to them, regardless of their gender. Let's just make compliments for all the norm!

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#32

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men I went to a girl’s house recently and she and her roommates were shocked that I didn’t share my location with my friends.

Impossible_Bear5263 , cottonbro studio Report

#33

Walking alone at night.

fatalrash69 Report

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Cosmikid
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know about this, as a man- because - as a kid, I was the puniest one in class. And yeah, random big kids would lurk around and attack. I discovered only in college- when I grew into what all would perceive as a "big guy" - that I no long had to tend the same fears. It was a considerable relief. And women really never get that relief. Some comprehension is in order.

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#34

My ex-wife was so flabbergasted one time when she met two friends of mine, one of which I only knew his first name — the other, only his nickname. She thought I was lying because I knew them for over a decade. Their actual names never came up and weren’t necessary.

Yunker27 Report

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Jason
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a lot of pretty good friends I don't know their last names. Never really needed. Yo you know Chris? No not that one the other one that lives down south, yeah him.

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#35

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men Not go to a doctor between ages 15 and 50.

thornify , RF._.studio Report

#36

30 Things That Are Unimaginable For Women, Yet Are Absolutely Normal For Men The concept of being alone seems different for women than men.

I was telling this girl about how I went through a period where I didnt talk to anyone but coworkers for about a year and she couldn't fully grasp the concept. Like to her being alone was when you only get a few facebooks messages and your friends are all too busy to hang out for a few weeks.

shroomenheimer , Zhu Liang Report

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Cosmikid
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A huge spectrum for individuals of all genders here; doubt there's a basic gender difference.

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#37

At least for the women in my life, doing something stupid for the sake of being stupid. I know it’s stupid. It doesn’t make me a stupid person (depending on what it is). I’m taking a calculated risk for fun.

Spoony_bard909 Report

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keyboardtek
Community Member
7 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Famous last words: "Calculated risk," often accompanied by "Hold my beer."

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#38

Urinals. I have, on more than one occasion, had to explain that no if we have to go number 1 and number 2 we don't first use the urinal and then the stall. We just go to the stall and do them both at the same time.

guitarguy109 Report

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Jason
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Didn't know this was a misconception. Urinal is only a time and water saver of only one

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#39

Walking out the door essentially the way you woke up.

SmilesGrimm Report

#40

Having an orgasm and then just being immediately *done*.

forRealsThough Report

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#41

Carrying all the weight in a crisis, and I mean all of it.

michiganwinter Report

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Flora Porter
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe for this person, but lots of women complain about carrying the whole emotional weight in their relationship or family.

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#43

That my brain is blank at most times. I stare at the horizon/wall, I think nothing.

CumRag_Connoisseur Report

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CrunChewy McSandybutt
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't relate to this. I have never in my life had no thoughts whatsoever. is it a peaceful feeling? Is it relaxing? I'm so curious.

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#44

Paying for your dinner and drinks.

Donald_D_blazed Report

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Cosmikid
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, but- there are often transactions to navigate even there these days. Learned a good trick a few years back!! Dinner with another guy, we're doing business- the kind where it's common for one to pay for dinner for the other. But not defined as to who-which. We're negotiating - both waving credit cards at the amused server- I really want to pay; but he - just grabs my card, and removes it! One card now in the air, server smiles and takes it away - and I've been one-upped. In a friendly fashion - but - he won. Good ol' "Fait accompli" - no recourse.

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#45

A physical fight is not the end of all future interactions, it is an establishment of hierarchy, a message of "we both wont just back down in the face of conflict" and depending on the outcome proof that both can hold their ground and violence is actually no useful way to resolve conflictin the future.

Which all in all can lead to greater friendship.

Homely_Bonfire Report

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Jessica Shookhoff
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People, keep your damn hands to yourself. Yes, even the ladies/women/girls. Don't hit men, don't hit anyone. Same to men. Let's just at least try, maybe?

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