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Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group
There’s hidden depths to every person. There’s a reason why the “never judge a book by its cover” saying is a thing. Same goes for guys.
Sure, some fellas may be nose-picking, public-transport-burping, people-disrespecting weirdos, but that’s not really exclusive to guys, is it now?
In this post, men went out of their way to share and discuss the more sensitive things about their lives and experiences with the internet.
From funny urinal etiquette to the downright sad lack of compliments, here’s some men with no hang-ups about saying how it really is.
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Well, every Tuesday night we have a secret meeting where we decide how to best maintain the patriarchy, other than that, not much.
RELATED:
#2
Some of these come up pretty frequently, but it's still helpful for women to be aware of them I guess. Here's a non-exhaustive list (on mobile so sorry if i screw up the formatting) :
When I say I'm thinking about "nothing", I'm serious. My brain was off, it's just static up there or random scenes from movies.
Most of us are acutely aware of how scared women are of men, and we all do our best to minimize that fear for you. My run yesterday around the loop in my park? Gotta be going the opposite direction as the women who were rollerblading so they can see me coming the whole way, don't make eye contact so I don't come off as creepy, etc.
I actually like interacting with kids. They're insane and goofy, say crazy things, and are fun to interact with. No, I'm not a p**o, I'm just treating them like the tiny humans they are and they deserve attention.
Fruity drinks taste awesome and I want to order them. Those little umbrellas and cool straws are the s**t.
Yes, we are all mentally 16 and will giggle about any number of stupid things.
Compliments live rent free in our heads forever. My favorite shirt is my favorite because a cute girl told me she loved the color and it looks good on me...4 years ago.
Saying "she's cute" does NOT mean I am actively trying to get with her, it's just an observation.
We like specifics. "The trash is full" is an observation, and we will agree with you. Our brain did not hear "please take out the trash" like you intended us to.
My last point can be changed with thorough training and a lot of patience and clarifying expectations.
Dear God, just tell us where you want to eat or what you want as a Christmas present. Most of us suck at those guessing games, even if we really try, and we just want to get you what is actually going to make you happy.
#3
Not a dude, but I have a husband. I feel like the best thing he needs when he comes home is a big a*s hug. Doesn't matter if it was a rough day or long day or neither. He needs a hug. I like cooking dinner for my husband so something warm or comforting is waiting for him too. Even if it's left overs. He loves his back scratched, so I'll do that for him or scratch his head. We will sit in silence sometimes while he scrolls on his phone to decompress, than we chat and we put on the TV or go for a walk. I feel like it's the simple things that matter a lot to him. I was very intent on knowing who my husband was and what he wanted when we were dating. I try to encompass those things naturally. I will tell him I love him randomly. I tell him he looks good when he goes to work and when he is just lounging. It melts his heart and I can tell.
Its a lot of fun living with a man and seeing the natural differences that are their norms. Breaks my heart when I see perfectly good men treated like garbage. I mean if he is trash, it's different but most people are just trying their best and I think the small things I do for my husband mean a lot to him.
Xander Man 2 years ago
A survey a couple of years ago, on what makes a happy Marriage concluded with: it's the "small" things like saying 'thank you','I love you', and gentle caressing (or backscratchers). She is definitely an amazing wife
Noname 2 years ago
In a happy marriage, doing the "small things" is reciprocal.
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Joshua Moore 2 years ago
This is a wonderful post. I have a great girlfriend, we've been seeing each other for about 6 months. My birthday is coming up and she insists on making a big deal about it. This is something I've never done or wanted. It's not even a milestone birthday or anything, I'll be the big 45. I told her that as long as we were together, I don't care what we were doing and I'm perfectly content going out and sharing a banana split, or something similar. When we first see each other, we always share a great hug and a kiss. Those few moments are usually just what both of us need. We both are single parents, help one another when we're at the others place, with whatever needs to be done; dishes, cleaning, laundry etc. As much as I don't want it, I'm letting her make a big deal about my birthday because I know that's who she is and what she wants to do. She's by far the best partner I've ever had in my life. I cherish every single moment with her. I'm just so content being with her.🥰😁♥️
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
Am I this persons husband? I need a hug and my head scratched for example
StitchIsCuteAndFluffy 2 years ago
I will scratch for you *scratch scratch*. Besides, my claws are perfect for being backscratchers!
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Z Alexi 2 years ago
Macho went out in the last century...haven't you heard, Xottel? Women won't put up with it anymore. Time's up, it's over.
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Pittsburgh rare 2 years ago (edited)
All very nice and dandy. Now, what does HE do for OP? Because "we sit in silence while he decompress on his phone" has a let's say distinctive ring. Woud like to have the full picture.
Z Alexi 2 years ago
Bingo! Pittsburgh rare. Romance-novel warmth is 5 mins a day [same as sex]. Running a household is 5+ hrs/day & guys don't even spend 1 hr per day cleaning. Pew Research says dads claim they spend 59 mins per day w/their kids which includes talking to them by phone from their jobs & car. They prefer that to mopping/vacuuming/waxing/shopping. Women raise boys who become dads, yech.
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Centu Rionick 2 years ago
Girls, just treat your husband like he's a dog. It's as simple as that.
Bryan W. 2 years ago
You say this as a joke, but it's all we really need.
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Phillip Moderow 2 years ago
OMG, a thousand upvotes for you. This woman is in stiff competition with his dog and is up for the challenge.
Colin 2 years ago
I remember a girl in college who made the mistake of admitting on NFL Sunday she would make the kitchen runs to refill beer for her bf and his mates. This was in '95 so everyone got on her back about she needs to be more independent etc. After class I went up to her and asked her nicely do you enjoy doing that. She went yeah, I actually do. I replied well good for you and anyone judging can fizuck off.
Z Alexi 2 years ago
Lincoln freed the slaves. When one is always the giver & the other is always the taker, one is being used & the other is the USER. When u say u like being USED, you're obviously a liar [she waned to be liked, which is different]. She was shocked at being cornered asked why she was such a slave~~by a guy~~so pretended she liked it [a fake & a liar]. Human nature says no one likes to be demeaned, dumped on, debased, abused, used. Slaves were held captive which is why u had the Pankhursts in U.K., Eliz Cady Stanton thru Gloria Steinem in U.S. protesting that women refuse to be guys' servants. '95 was then, hope she evolved. And Colin, college "girls" call themselves "women"~~they're mostly in their 20s & most have had jobs & earned $ & lived away from parents.
Load More Replies... Kayjunmoon 2 years ago
Apart from the phone bit this sounds like a how to be a perfect wife manual from the 50s
Erin Huber 2 years ago
She would have to provide a martini and pretty herself up a bit before he gets home 😀
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Sara Wilson 2 years ago
On the flip side, I'm this kind of woman too, and I get hardly anything back for my effort. Not even Christmas or my birthday. Just told how (if I'm not doing every little thing wanted they way/when he wants it) I don't care about him. And after talking and talking and talking and trying everything from stopping doing all those thing to, yep, more talking, leaving is the only thing they get. And by then it's too late. Now, u want more from me, then u give me more. Period.
Z Alexi 2 years ago
U go grrl, Sara Wilson! I get in the dumps when I don't get thank-u notes/cards from my pricey gifts from "friends" or MDs [who think their parchment exempts them from being grateful?].
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Gypsy Lee 2 years ago (edited)
🦄 is the husband/partner. Most women love to shower people with affection. But when your efforts are brushed off as unimportant because they see you (the woman) as unequal, you start to die inside. Criticism, not acknowledging their efforts or tenderness, being used; everything adds up. Women work too. Try running a house, being the nanny, maid, assistant, “mistress”, chef, masseuse, Santa, working a s**t job for a fraction of the pay, etc, & see how much you do for someone who can’t be bothered to show affection, remember your birthday, or care what you think our how you feel. Once you break & burn a woman’s heart it’s nearly impossible for her to regrow one. Burnout is REAL. Kindness is reciprocal. If you want a unicorn, be one yourself.
Z Alexi 2 years ago
I'm gonna steal~~but give you attribution~~your clever, but oh so true "Once you break & burn a woman’s heart, it’s nearly impossible for her to regrow one." Sending good karma Gypsy Lee's way!
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sassawrasse 2 years ago
I work outside the home, he works from home. I would sell a kidney to get a hug when I got home from work. Or even a hello or general acknowledgement of my existence instead of just shrieking dogs and an annoyed dude at his computer.
Z Alexi 2 years ago
Impersonal ppl...time for a heart transplant. I had a brother like that. Served in Vietnam but wouldn't talk about it; leg skin peeled off, asked if it were Agent Orange, wouldn't talk about it. Had a long-suffering wife who put up w/him for 30 yrs 'til he finally checked out. Cold-hearted & not missed. Sending warmth from NYC your way sassawrasse...keep your kidneys!
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Rocky Wheelwright 2 years ago
This is a beautiful post. This woman gets it. I’m a woman and I wish more women were like her.
Ablah Williams 2 years ago
I'm the same with my husband, but he's like that with me too. Level playing field.
Whitefox 2 years ago
When the man you live with can be honest an open in what they like its easy. I cook most nights because he works later than me. I do not mind and try to have it ready when he gets home. I always give him a hug and ask how his day was while we eat. I will also reach out and caress his arm while we are eating, or scratch his back or just love on him after dinner. nothing suggestive,, just relaxing and being close.
Z Alexi 2 years ago
When Whitefox scratches his arm, does she have her claws sharpened? Why didn't she say who did the dishes? Who does the laundry, mops the flrs, vacuums, shops for groceries/household items, &c? If kids, changes diapers, takes/picks up from school; takes to MD/DDS (also if parent). All this romance-novel junk takes less than 5 mins per day...what I just noted [20% of running a household] is 5-to-6 hrs a day's work, esp if u must play taxi driver for kids.
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 2 years ago
exactly. People think we are all ingrates. The last time my GF made me dinner I wept for joy. I hadn't had dinner made for me in years.
Z Alexi 2 years ago
There are trade-offs, censorshipsux. Perhaps she doesn't know how to cook well [I don't]. Maybe she sews your seams/hems/buttons instead? Most guys are ingrates & feel entitled. I grew up w/brothers, male cousins & nephews...I still smell the whiff of their entitlement decades later.
Load More Replies... Haywood Jablome 2 years ago (edited)
A woman who cares about a man? And she's not acting like the most put upon martyr for feminism because she gave her husband a hug he didn't pay for? Fake news, an incel wrote this
LizzieBoredom 2 years ago (edited)
So men are looking for a mind-reader who considers The Stepford Wives a How-To manual?
Erin Huber 2 years ago
She just said she spent time getting to know him. She isn't a mind reader. There's a difference. Also, she never said every man wants these things. She does things she knows he likes.
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Z Alexi 2 years ago
Malarkey~~"most" guys don't try...they must be forced to do scut work or take/pick up kids or take them [or either sides' parents] to MDs-DDSs/grocers. And when they "try their best," it's never good enough~~cause they're faking it...their "best" is reserved for the office. Or their mistress. Get real & take off your rose-colored glasses...are you 16?
James B 2 years ago
When two people actually try to learn what there partner does, and doesn't want it usually leads to a successful marriage. I took an ex on a dinner and movie date early on. We had time before the movie to walk through the mall. We came across a store selling paintings. She excitedly asked if we could go in and I said yes. I watched as sure studied the paintings intently and even traced above the strokes with her fingertips. I asked her later if she enjoyed painting and art and she enthusiastically said yes and told me all about the ones she makes. Next date I took her to the Van Gogh exhibit. And she did stuff for me. Like every time I went to her place the first thing she would do was give me a big hug. She's knew I was super affectionate and appreciated that. It's those little things that are great and make life worth living.
Z Alexi 2 years ago
Sounds mushy but I didn't get why she asked for permission to go into a store. 2 ppl stroll & one goes into a store of her choice. U can wait outside if the store isn't of your taste. This women asking permission to go into public places is sooo last century & demeaning. You don't own her or conversely. Glad you're [were?] happy even tho you called her "ex."
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Sweet Taurus 2 years ago
I fully agree with this post! My fiancé loves coming home from work to a house filled with the smell of something yummy cooking. I feel he also appreciates the fact he has a teammate in everything we do together. I'm always there to help even if it's just holding the flashlight or pulling out the slides and turning the air on in the rv when we go camping. I try to always thank him for the little things he does so that he always feels appreciated and that goes a long ways with him. I make sure to always compliment him when he has something new on or gets a haircut. He works so hard for his family and to know how much he is valued appreciated keeps him going on the har days.
Onlyhappywhenitrains 2 years ago
I do this for my husband. I also did a lot of work on myself before we met and I come from a lot of trauma and abuse. So I understand the importance of treating people well. Men, don’t let little girls ruin you, you can do better.
Trevor Miller 2 years ago
Scrap all the bs and make him a sandwich. That’s all he really wants
Z Alexi 2 years ago
Eat me...make your own sandwich [unless you're missing both arms].
Load More Replies...Although hearing how men try to avoid choosing the middle urinal if the surrounding ones are occupied may be a funny surprise or super relatable, other guy “secrets” aren’t nearly as funny.
They may be written with a comedic tone, but their true message isn’t humorous in the least.
Some examples of this are how men treasure their one decade-old compliment or how they have to fake their confidence and hide significant insecurities.
These comments, while being veiled as jokes, are indicative of something much more serious. It’s a sign that there are, as there have always been, certain toxic misconceptions about men and how they should be treated - even between men themselves!
#6
We're kinda like dogs. Things in front of me get attention, if I don't burn enough energy I get zoomies, my behavior piques when I am offered food, use brief and explicit instructions or I will look at you funny trying to figure what you really want, and I love naps on the couch
Apatheist Account2 2 years ago
Before you ask...this does not include licking parts of oneself that should not be licked by oneself (normally).
To help us unravel this issue, Bored Panda reached out to Mac Scotty McGregor, Founder and President of Positive Masculinity, regularly striving to empower people to examine how they were conditioned by certain gender expectations. He believes that we, as conscious adults, can understand which of those beliefs are no longer serving us and how they can be replaced with healthier options.
Currently Mac educates and trains corporations and large groups on diversity and sensitivity. He’s a dedicated activist and educator whose main focus is to help create a world where people can feel free to be themselves.
#7
You'll find communicating with guys is a lot easier if you just are direct and open about what you want.
#8
We NEVER know when you like us.
I'm 48. Looking back. I f****d up so much
Depressed Owl 2 years ago
I either am clueless if someone likes me, or make everything they do seem like there dropping hints that they like me.
#9
That big sigh my wife just asked about while we’re watching the 10 o’clock news? Nothing profound, nothing bugging me, I just remembered to breathe.
Apatheist Account2 2 years ago
This happens SO often. "What's the matter?" "Nothing. Genuinely nothing."
According to Mac there certainly are some “hidden” things that men deal with on a regular basis.
A big one is that the world we are in teaches young and older men alike that they must always be strong, independent, self-sufficient, and in control.
“That includes being in control of our emotions. There are only three emotions that are acceptable for men to show, and those are: assertiveness, anger, or high-fiving our buddies when our team wins.”
Middle-aged men have the biggest rate for ending their own lives prematurely and Mac believes that this traditional masculine model and messaging is part of the bigger cause.
Guys have to deal with other guys policing them and limiting how they should express themselves by ridiculing others that don’t fit into the old model.
#10
Please for the love of god let us know if you’re into us. Don’t wait for us to tell you first because we won’t because we don’t want to be called creeps.
Michelle C 2 years ago
This is also precisely why women are afraid to let on about their feelings occasionally. If we do let on how we feel about someone, sometimes we’re told we should let men lead, and we’re emasculating them. If we don’t let on, we’re told we’re being frigid or making too much of the situation. Honest and respectful communication benefits everyone involved, in my experience!
#11
Dudes can be friends for years and not know each others real name
#12
No. I'm not going to the gym to hit on "b*****s" or get into shape to be attractive to other women.
I'm just tired of almost passing out every time I bend over to tie my shoes.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
If I see someone improving their looks or health, I always assume that they’re doing it for themselves first instead of for others
Since we are still in the middle of a huge change, there are “so many things” that could be improved in our society, Mac says.
The epidemic of loneliness and the lack of depth in male friendships because of it being “weak” to talk about feelings and what’s happening with us is one.
Another thing is that lots of men still don’t get mental or physical help or check-ups as, again, if something is wrong it’s a sign of weakness.
“Between the masculine messaging and the capitalist mentality in our Western culture, most also carry the message that we are playing a lifelong game of 'king of the hill'.”
In other words, we’re always competing with each other, instead of collaborating more. Mac says we could achieve much more if we collaborated and didn’t worry about sharing credit as much.
#13
We like compliments. If you compliment a guy he might remember it for years.
… and then he might think you’re into him because we never receive compliments but that is an entirely new issue
#14
If you let me lie in your lap and you run your fingers through my hair and stroke my face, I’ll say “yes” to whatever you propose
#15
The day before a very close girl (friend) of mine gave me a flower.
I can barely explain how amazing that made me feel. I almost cried.
Needless to say that memeory has a golden spot in my brain.
just remember girls that we are humans as well, and EVERY, i mean it EVERY man seeks this feeling.
#16
I like being childish and if I trust you enough I will be childish around you.
I always forget things but I really try to remember them.
We have days where we want to be left alone with peace and quiet
Michelle C 2 years ago
This applies to women as well. We are absolutely into men with a sense of humor and levity!
“I also think that in intimate relationships men want to have more depth but they are at a loss for where to begin and how to navigate that.”
The messaging of never showing vulnerability has become so ingrained in us, yet we must embrace vulnerability to get most of the things we want. Falling in love requires vulnerability, putting ourselves in the line in front of others to achieve things requires vulnerability too.
We could fail, be embarrassed or even hurt deeply, but we are taught that we should hide all of this - never talk about it, pretend we don’t fear, regret, and grieve.
All of this and more hinders men from being fully human, embodied and present in relationships, limiting us in ways some may never understand, which leaves them with an empty feeling.
“We need to reframe this toxic messaging. Embracing vulnerability is the way of the warrior, as is the ability to admit mistakes and be accountable for our actions in order to grow and evolve,” Mac Scotty McGregor finishes.
#17
When you ask us a question, often times we'll quickly respond with "huh?".
It's not that we didn't hear you, cause we did. We're just buffering to give you an adequate answer.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
I usually respond like that because I have a hard time paying attention so I have to double check to see if I heard a question correctly
#18
Sometimes, that male confidence that you find attractive is us totally faking it while shaking on the inside, insecure AF.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
That's true of every type of confidence. And real confidence is not knowing that things will go your way. It's knowing you'll be ok even if they don't.
#19
If it looks like im ignoring you im probably just so deep in thought that i forgot i actually exist
#20
We're not necessarily watching p**n when we're in the bathroom for an hour. We may just be on Reddit and lose track of the time.
#21
Those memes that are like
Women: I wonder what he's thinking about
Man: *dumbest s**t ever to be thought about*
Are far more true than you think BUT it could also be the complete opposite, they could be thinking the deepest most philisophical s**t ever too.
Either way their answer will be "nothing"
Mrs Irish Mom 2 years ago
Asked my Husband what he was thinking about because he was staring off into space... he said the groomer didnt shave around the dogs balls great... never asking that question again 🙈
#22
When you explain or rant my brain is telling me how to fix it....
And yes I'm listening but this is how you fix that problem.
Edit: well, I've dunnit, alot of men are helping me with my problem too, and women aren't too happy about how I didn't really listen.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
I sometimes need to vent. I sometimes need advice and for people to agree the person I'm talking about is a b***h. None of my family get it.
#24
We pick the urinal we pee in carefully.
Depressed Owl 2 years ago
It's an unspoken rule to not use the urinal next to someone. Especially if there are no dividers.
#25
We forgot how to cry at some point early in our lives.
setsuriseikou 2 years ago
I'm so sorry for every one of you who did. Crying is natural, cathartic and good for the soul. So let's go visit those patriarchy-maintaining dudes, and make them cry
#26
When girls come over to a guys place. The guy is usually cleaning up his place like the Tasmanian Devil 1-2hrs before she comes over.
#27
We fear we are loved for our value and not for who we are.
#28
We don’t want to tell you certain things are worrying us because we dont want you to worry also… now there’s just two people worrying, where as before, one was worrying, and the other was happy, which is a reminder to us not to worry so much
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Please don't do this. First, people in general would much rather worry with you than be blindsided by bad news. Second, we will wonder what else you're keeping from us, why you're 'protecting us' as if we're children...and whether we can continue to trust you.
#29
Having the feeling everybody hates me. Or is it just me?
#30
“He didn’t scratch his nose. He was smelling his finger.” - Revelations 17:38
What do you think ?
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
I relate to a lot of these. I'm afab. Gender stereotypes r dumb but very gender afferming
Sooploosh MacSchnibble 2 years ago
I know this is off topic but I JUST REMEMBERED HOW COOL VALSTRAX IS!! Valstrax-6...67984b.jpg 
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
These are all lame. Would have been nice to run across something original but nope it's just all the things that men have always thought women don't understand about them. Women do understand these things men, they just don't care.
The_one_on_the_left 2 years ago
If you dont like it, dont comment on it :(
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Ivy la Sangrienta 2 years ago
There's an old friend I've lost touch with that I always called Paul because he was the spitting image of a young Paul McCartney. Can't for the life of me remember his actual name now.
Jay Walsh 2 years ago
I love how almost every item had a woman comment "me too" or "Women have this too". Or you know, you could take this opportunity to LISTEN, and maybe ask follow up questions. THIS behavior is a reason men don't open up often. Many times, as soon as they do, the woman in their life immediately equates it to them and their legitimately similar struggles. So, like men think "here's how you fix this" and are accused of never "Just listening", Women, you have your own version, not a "fix", but a "I the same problem, and here's why it's worse for me/women"....we just shut down instead of say "you never just listen". Which is why every day of our lives, our day was "fine, how was yours..." So we can just cut to how bad your day was and move on...
Ronnie Cutshall 2 years ago
Down south if a man belt tied up , his wife on war path. If tied down he needs help with wife gift. The there the many different hand signals for holding or pulling up pants. Just a heads up if you see it.
Lana Lana Banana 2 years ago
I've read this like 5 times now and still have no clue wtf you're trying to say.
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Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
This is really alien to my way of thinking. You actually keep score? You do 'favors' and expect to be 'repaid'? It wouldn't even occur to me to think like this. Personal relationships shouldn't be transactional.
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Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
I relate to a lot of these. I'm afab. Gender stereotypes r dumb but very gender afferming
Sooploosh MacSchnibble 2 years ago
I know this is off topic but I JUST REMEMBERED HOW COOL VALSTRAX IS!! Valstrax-6...67984b.jpg
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
These are all lame. Would have been nice to run across something original but nope it's just all the things that men have always thought women don't understand about them. Women do understand these things men, they just don't care.
The_one_on_the_left 2 years ago
If you dont like it, dont comment on it :(
Load More Replies... Ivy la Sangrienta 2 years ago
There's an old friend I've lost touch with that I always called Paul because he was the spitting image of a young Paul McCartney. Can't for the life of me remember his actual name now.
Jay Walsh 2 years ago
I love how almost every item had a woman comment "me too" or "Women have this too". Or you know, you could take this opportunity to LISTEN, and maybe ask follow up questions. THIS behavior is a reason men don't open up often. Many times, as soon as they do, the woman in their life immediately equates it to them and their legitimately similar struggles. So, like men think "here's how you fix this" and are accused of never "Just listening", Women, you have your own version, not a "fix", but a "I the same problem, and here's why it's worse for me/women"....we just shut down instead of say "you never just listen". Which is why every day of our lives, our day was "fine, how was yours..." So we can just cut to how bad your day was and move on...
Ronnie Cutshall 2 years ago
Down south if a man belt tied up , his wife on war path. If tied down he needs help with wife gift. The there the many different hand signals for holding or pulling up pants. Just a heads up if you see it.
Lana Lana Banana 2 years ago
I've read this like 5 times now and still have no clue wtf you're trying to say.
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
This is really alien to my way of thinking. You actually keep score? You do 'favors' and expect to be 'repaid'? It wouldn't even occur to me to think like this. Personal relationships shouldn't be transactional.
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