Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group
There’s hidden depths to every person. There’s a reason why the “never judge a book by its cover” saying is a thing. Same goes for guys.
Sure, some fellas may be nose-picking, public-transport-burping, people-disrespecting weirdos, but that’s not really exclusive to guys, is it now?
In this post, men went out of their way to share and discuss the more sensitive things about their lives and experiences with the internet.
From funny urinal etiquette to the downright sad lack of compliments, here’s some men with no hang-ups about saying how it really is.
More info: Reddit
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Well, every Tuesday night we have a secret meeting where we decide how to best maintain the patriarchy, other than that, not much.
Every Tuesday is the blue-collar patriarchy secret meeting (and it's in your local bar). The real decisions are done by the The Great Patriarchal Illuminatti, and it's twice a year, in Monaco, Washington or Dubai. And then we, poor blue collar oppressors, just receive the decisions in a memo.
Them guys gotta try harder, the patriarchy is gradually coming apart
Yeah it's a massive deal all the guys meet up in S- I mean I can't tell you.
There's matriarchy, too. I worked in an Australian state health service. There wasn't much disadvantage to being male, but it was less-than-equal. I missed out on a job because the ladies in the office didn't 'feel comfortable' at the prospect of having a male person in there. There was some admin jobs that i was (quietly, off-the-record) told i would NEVER get (e.g. in the breast-screening service). Things like that.
Some of these come up pretty frequently, but it's still helpful for women to be aware of them I guess. Here's a non-exhaustive list (on mobile so sorry if i screw up the formatting) :
When I say I'm thinking about "nothing", I'm serious. My brain was off, it's just static up there or random scenes from movies.
Most of us are acutely aware of how scared women are of men, and we all do our best to minimize that fear for you. My run yesterday around the loop in my park? Gotta be going the opposite direction as the women who were rollerblading so they can see me coming the whole way, don't make eye contact so I don't come off as creepy, etc.
I actually like interacting with kids. They're insane and goofy, say crazy things, and are fun to interact with. No, I'm not a p**o, I'm just treating them like the tiny humans they are and they deserve attention.
Fruity drinks taste awesome and I want to order them. Those little umbrellas and cool straws are the s**t.
Yes, we are all mentally 16 and will giggle about any number of stupid things.
Compliments live rent free in our heads forever. My favorite shirt is my favorite because a cute girl told me she loved the color and it looks good on me...4 years ago.
Saying "she's cute" does NOT mean I am actively trying to get with her, it's just an observation.
We like specifics. "The trash is full" is an observation, and we will agree with you. Our brain did not hear "please take out the trash" like you intended us to.
My last point can be changed with thorough training and a lot of patience and clarifying expectations.
Dear God, just tell us where you want to eat or what you want as a Christmas present. Most of us suck at those guessing games, even if we really try, and we just want to get you what is actually going to make you happy.
The trash bit is annoying. You shouldn't need to have it pointed out and specifically told to do something. Just do it when it's needed
So true. The mental work is burdened on women as well, because apparently, many men don't like to think.
Load More Replies...Thorough training and a lot of patience to make you take the trash out? So, basically teaching you, a grown man, to be a proper adult and take care of the house you live in?
There's a difference based on how each party views the urgency of the task. "The trash is full" goes into the same category as "the car needs gas" or "Betty next door asked if she could borrow your wheelbarrow". Its a task that needs to be done but its not urgent. Trash day isn't this morning, the car still has 75 miles of gas in it, and its 6 am and Betty normally doesn't start gardening until 9am. The next time I leave the house, I'll take care of it. There is no urgency. If there is urgency like you need to drive 100 miles tomorrow for your first sales call and wont' have time to stop, you need the can emptied right now because you just threw away some onions, or Betty had her basement flood and she needs the wheelbarrow immediately to remove the mud, say so. If its not urgent but it still gets done, why is your timeline more important? If they aren't ever taking out the trash, that's a different story.
Load More Replies...I love the way everyone here is jumping on the trash part instead of the Be Specific part. COMMUNICATE. Don't just say some rando stuff and expect everyone to know what you want, say what you want. Exactly what you want.
Exactly. Seems that when some people aren't mind readers they get criticised, rather than the person will bad communication skills realising the issue lies with them.
Load More Replies...If you don't like a present I bought you, I will not be offended,please tell me and you can return it. Don't mull on it for 6 years and then tell me when you're drunk
I agree. Communication done with respect in order to grow together
Load More Replies...It boils down to trust and communication, and gender doesn't matter. I can't read minds, and I'm pretty sure that's a universal flaw. Don't get pissy when I can't guess what you're thinking, just say it.
Do you want it shown in a video instruction what it means when the trash is full? Like what does it take for you to understand? A demonstration? And then another? And another? And then magically you get out of doing housework because of your weaponized incompetence
Load More Replies...I don't think most men have a shred of an inkling on how "scared'' women are of them.
How would someone know how someone else feels unless they were informed by that person?
Load More Replies...A gift is not something we need. We can probably buy it ourselves. A gift is not mandatory either. It is a way to perceive how our SO know us, appreciate our needs, or surprise or support us with something unexpected. At least it is what I expect and what I try to offer when a gift is involved.
It took a number of years of marriage, but my late husband and I did learn how to communicate much better than we did at first. He liked to problem solve when I came home and complained about work. Sometimes I just wanted to whine and get some sympathy. After I explained that, I came home one day and said "Not looking for a solution on this one, just want to whine about my boss." He listened, then jumped up dramatically and said..."That b*st***d!!!!! Want me to go to the office tomorrow and punch him in the face?" I said that would be great and we both laughed hysterically. Of course we were both kidding, but I knew he heard me. After that, I did go to him looking for solutions also. I just made sure to make him aware of what I was looking for at that moment in time.
I can't speak for all women, but that last item is the same thing this woman thinks, only every single day. Planning and implementing dinner every day, every vacation, everything that needs to be repaired, every health maintenance activity, every school interaction, etc. etc. is not the thrillfest people might think. Totally down with the compliment thing. It's one of the things I find charming in many men.
Not a dude, but I have a husband. I feel like the best thing he needs when he comes home is a big a*s hug. Doesn't matter if it was a rough day or long day or neither. He needs a hug. I like cooking dinner for my husband so something warm or comforting is waiting for him too. Even if it's left overs. He loves his back scratched, so I'll do that for him or scratch his head. We will sit in silence sometimes while he scrolls on his phone to decompress, than we chat and we put on the TV or go for a walk. I feel like it's the simple things that matter a lot to him. I was very intent on knowing who my husband was and what he wanted when we were dating. I try to encompass those things naturally. I will tell him I love him randomly. I tell him he looks good when he goes to work and when he is just lounging. It melts his heart and I can tell.
Its a lot of fun living with a man and seeing the natural differences that are their norms. Breaks my heart when I see perfectly good men treated like garbage. I mean if he is trash, it's different but most people are just trying their best and I think the small things I do for my husband mean a lot to him.
A survey a couple of years ago, on what makes a happy Marriage concluded with: it's the "small" things like saying 'thank you','I love you', and gentle caressing (or backscratchers). She is definitely an amazing wife
In a happy marriage, doing the "small things" is reciprocal.
Load More Replies...This is a wonderful post. I have a great girlfriend, we've been seeing each other for about 6 months. My birthday is coming up and she insists on making a big deal about it. This is something I've never done or wanted. It's not even a milestone birthday or anything, I'll be the big 45. I told her that as long as we were together, I don't care what we were doing and I'm perfectly content going out and sharing a banana split, or something similar. When we first see each other, we always share a great hug and a kiss. Those few moments are usually just what both of us need. We both are single parents, help one another when we're at the others place, with whatever needs to be done; dishes, cleaning, laundry etc. As much as I don't want it, I'm letting her make a big deal about my birthday because I know that's who she is and what she wants to do. She's by far the best partner I've ever had in my life. I cherish every single moment with her. I'm just so content being with her.🥰😁♥️
Am I this persons husband? I need a hug and my head scratched for example
I will scratch for you *scratch scratch*. Besides, my claws are perfect for being backscratchers!
Load More Replies...Macho went out in the last century...haven't you heard, Xottel? Women won't put up with it anymore. Time's up, it's over.
Load More Replies...All very nice and dandy. Now, what does HE do for OP? Because "we sit in silence while he decompress on his phone" has a let's say distinctive ring. Woud like to have the full picture.
Bingo! Pittsburgh rare. Romance-novel warmth is 5 mins a day [same as sex]. Running a household is 5+ hrs/day & guys don't even spend 1 hr per day cleaning. Pew Research says dads claim they spend 59 mins per day w/their kids which includes talking to them by phone from their jobs & car. They prefer that to mopping/vacuuming/waxing/shopping. Women raise boys who become dads, yech.
Load More Replies...Girls, just treat your husband like he's a dog. It's as simple as that.
You say this as a joke, but it's all we really need.
Load More Replies...OMG, a thousand upvotes for you. This woman is in stiff competition with his dog and is up for the challenge.
I remember a girl in college who made the mistake of admitting on NFL Sunday she would make the kitchen runs to refill beer for her bf and his mates. This was in '95 so everyone got on her back about she needs to be more independent etc. After class I went up to her and asked her nicely do you enjoy doing that. She went yeah, I actually do. I replied well good for you and anyone judging can fizuck off.
Lincoln freed the slaves. When one is always the giver & the other is always the taker, one is being used & the other is the USER. When u say u like being USED, you're obviously a liar [she waned to be liked, which is different]. She was shocked at being cornered asked why she was such a slave~~by a guy~~so pretended she liked it [a fake & a liar]. Human nature says no one likes to be demeaned, dumped on, debased, abused, used. Slaves were held captive which is why u had the Pankhursts in U.K., Eliz Cady Stanton thru Gloria Steinem in U.S. protesting that women refuse to be guys' servants. '95 was then, hope she evolved. And Colin, college "girls" call themselves "women"~~they're mostly in their 20s & most have had jobs & earned $ & lived away from parents.
Load More Replies...Although hearing how men try to avoid choosing the middle urinal if the surrounding ones are occupied may be a funny surprise or super relatable, other guy “secrets” aren’t nearly as funny.
They may be written with a comedic tone, but their true message isn’t humorous in the least.
Some examples of this are how men treasure their one decade-old compliment or how they have to fake their confidence and hide significant insecurities.
These comments, while being veiled as jokes, are indicative of something much more serious. It’s a sign that there are, as there have always been, certain toxic misconceptions about men and how they should be treated - even between men themselves!
LEGO Isn't just for kids
On that note, anyone wanna come over and see my Lego collection? It's kinda scattered theme-wise but rest assured, some sets you may never ever see on the shelves again. Just please don't shatter anything XD
I buy Legos at least once a month, going to the mall of America on Friday to buy more in fact.
I knew a guy who was a lego fanatic, and when it was his day with the kids you can guess what they had a whole heap of fun doing together.
We really have no control over what we do in your dreams.
It’s a joke… talking about how sometimes girls get mad at a guy because he cheated on her in her dream and wants him to apologise or make up for it. Not saying all or even a large number of women do this, but it’s kind of become a joke because of how stupid it is
Load More Replies...I remember a guy telling his wife about a silly dream she was in. Real wife sided with dream wife. Now he had two women ganging up on him.
One of my exes told me that she had a dream where I was happy to see her. In your dreams, lady.
Ha-ha, this takes me back. I remember being so mad at my then-boyfriend, future husband, because, in my dream, he said he wanted to get married in a supermarket parking lot when I had such a nice dress. I was so angry I couldn't let it go. It took hours before his repeated mantra, "It didn't happen, it was a dream" finally sunk in, and I heard him. Sometimes dreams really take hold and are hard to shake.
We're kinda like dogs. Things in front of me get attention, if I don't burn enough energy I get zoomies, my behavior piques when I am offered food, use brief and explicit instructions or I will look at you funny trying to figure what you really want, and I love naps on the couch
Before you ask...this does not include licking parts of oneself that should not be licked by oneself (normally).
Treat? Do you want a treat? Are you hungry? Where's your ball? Go get you BALL
YES!!! and be happy to see us because we are happy fools who are happy to see you YAAAY MY FAVOURITE HUMAN etc
Load More Replies...Those are also symptoms of ADHD, So as a woman with ADHD I totally get this.
To help us unravel this issue, Bored Panda reached out to Mac Scotty McGregor, Founder and President of Positive Masculinity, regularly striving to empower people to examine how they were conditioned by certain gender expectations. He believes that we, as conscious adults, can understand which of those beliefs are no longer serving us and how they can be replaced with healthier options.
Currently Mac educates and trains corporations and large groups on diversity and sensitivity. He’s a dedicated activist and educator whose main focus is to help create a world where people can feel free to be themselves.
You'll find communicating with guys is a lot easier if you just are direct and open about what you want.
Totally open to this so long as “no, I’m not interested” doesn’t result in insults or threats of bodily harm.
Part of this is the fault of romantic movies. The whole "girl says she's not interested and guy goes into stalker mode til she falls for him" trope sets up guys to expect that when women say "no" they really mean "yes but you have to try harder". It's a cliche, but many men believe "women are playing hard to get".
Load More Replies...The main reason we don't, is because saying 'no' can and does result in men assaulting, raping and even murdering women. The list of news articles of this exact scenario is depressingly long. We know how to say 'no', despite men's condescending advice to use it, we just don't know if the guy we're turning down is going to be that psycho that winds up on the news. To say nothing of the number of women with stories of men who don't give a sh*t about being told "no".
Totally valid point, doesn't really matter if this is what the post was referring to or not. It sucks that women feel they need to do this because some men are evil like that. The front of insincerity is an inconvenience for men, but that's not comparable to the fear of actual harm driving it.
Load More Replies...Have an upvote ... more if the system would allow.
Load More Replies...Aren't these the same guys from the other photo? Since when did the secret Tuesday meeting to maintain the patriarchy start admitting women?
Silly Tucker. Who else is going to get coffee, and answer the phone?
Load More Replies...I'm a woman and I cannot stand people who are unnecessarily indirect. It makes me feel like I can't trust them.
I find that it's often insecurity due to rejection fears. IE that the man will say "no" because he wants to do some "manly" thing. I am perfectly happy to sit with someone and watch a romcom if she/they want. However, yes, I will defaul to action or horror or scifi. So if a person wants a romcom, they must say so, otherwise I will indeed default to action/horror/scifi.
Load More Replies...Funny... you'd think so... except that they STILL only pick through what they want to hear.... and what they DON'T like or don't want to hear, gets very suddenly put into the "She said it all mean" or "It was super sarcastic" or... "I thought it was a joke" pile. Even when I preface things with "I'm saying this straight, no hints, this is exactly what I mean" - nooope... Will still either get ghosted/berated or ignored.
That is 100% not true. It depends on whether it's a topic men r interested in. If not, same old, same old
We NEVER know when you like us.
I'm 48. Looking back. I f****d up so much
I either am clueless if someone likes me, or make everything they do seem like there dropping hints that they like me.
Same, and I'm not a guy! Also, fun fact I thought I'd mention because of your username: I love owls!
Load More Replies...True. Looking back, I can hit myself over the number of times women were hitting on me and I did not have a clue...
We all know an a**hat or 2 that thinks everyone is hitting on him/her. But I think this comment is more true for guys. My wife and kids told me fairly often that a gal/guy was hitting on me and I had no clue.
In college, I stopped to visit a female friend at her apartment. We chatted for a bit, mostly about how she and her boyfriend had broken up, and I was getting ready to go, when she said, "Hold on a minute, I want your opinion on something." She went back into her bedroom and came out a few moments later wearing lingerie (a camisole, etc...) She's a very attractive woman and was built nicely. I told her the truth - that it looked great on her; then I left. So yes, this one is SO true!
In college a friend of mine told me "Not only does a woman have to beat you over the head to get your attention - she has to use her left tit to do it."
Yeah, my wife has to tell me when a woman is hitting on me. I very rarely know.
Even with me stuttering, blushing, sweating(nvm girls don't sweat😉) and suddenly dramatically tripping right in front of the guy with a stack of books in hand?
That big sigh my wife just asked about while we’re watching the 10 o’clock news? Nothing profound, nothing bugging me, I just remembered to breathe.
This happens SO often. "What's the matter?" "Nothing. Genuinely nothing."
My dad gets mad at me when I do this. Would you rather I pass out then sigh?
Load More Replies...Me! Nothings wrong I just needed to sigh for extra oxygen because I didn't have enough
I have asthma, so even my body forgets to breath sometimes, and that's supposed to be part of its job.
Load More Replies...I do this as well. Breathing is supposed to be a natural thing but occasionally I forget
This goes both ways, gents. I am not toying with you, I'm taking deep breath. Or maybe I'm the exception.
I asked my husband about that early in our marriage when he sighed. He said, "No reason, just exercising my lungs." I really liked that answer, so I've never asked him again.
Okay this is funny. If I stretch and sigh, my dog barks at me and whines. He has decided this is the signal I'm getting up.
According to Mac there certainly are some “hidden” things that men deal with on a regular basis.
A big one is that the world we are in teaches young and older men alike that they must always be strong, independent, self-sufficient, and in control.
“That includes being in control of our emotions. There are only three emotions that are acceptable for men to show, and those are: assertiveness, anger, or high-fiving our buddies when our team wins.”
Middle-aged men have the biggest rate for ending their own lives prematurely and Mac believes that this traditional masculine model and messaging is part of the bigger cause.
Guys have to deal with other guys policing them and limiting how they should express themselves by ridiculing others that don’t fit into the old model.
Please for the love of god let us know if you’re into us. Don’t wait for us to tell you first because we won’t because we don’t want to be called creeps.
This is also precisely why women are afraid to let on about their feelings occasionally. If we do let on how we feel about someone, sometimes we’re told we should let men lead, and we’re emasculating them. If we don’t let on, we’re told we’re being frigid or making too much of the situation. Honest and respectful communication benefits everyone involved, in my experience!
Honestly, if a guy reacts negatively because you "emasculated" them by being honest about your feelings, I would be grateful for dodging a bullet. That is a red flag.
Load More Replies...Met my Husband in a bar, we chatted for ages, got on great, knew he liked me so before i left i gave him my number and the rest is history ❤
If someone says "I'm into you", they will not be called a creep. If someone says creepy things, they are a creep and will be called one. Why is this so difficult?
Nah not necessarily. I think creepiness is a behaviour pattern. Like following a person around, cyberstalking, etc. I don't think it's just about approaching a person. It's HOW.
Load More Replies...This! I knew my boyfriend liked me and I asked him. He was too scared to do anything about it.
Honestly even if a guy doesn't like a girl really, we probably still gonna say yes if you ask us out imo
Please for the love of God stop expecting women to do all the emotional work. If you like a woman, say so. If she likes you, she'll say it. We are all adults here, right? Right??
no, that's not the point. The point is now men do not want to come off as creepy stalkers so we now avoid saying anything at all. At least, the decent ones.
Load More Replies...I've been through periods of my life where I wasn't very attractive to look at, and other periods where I've put a lot of effort into my appearance. So I can say with some authority that how attractive you are is a big factor in whether a women sees you as creepy or flirty. You can increase your confidence about making the first move with women by grooming well, dressing nicely, and getting in shape. You still have to behave well no matter what, but my point is that you won't stand a chance no matter how charming and romantic you try to be if you don't look the part, you creep.
Uh... yeah, no. This is only if you've made it ultimately clear you're into us... because guess what you guys tend to do? You treat that plain or ugly girl who you don't have a crush on like absolute GARBAGE if she dares to tell you how she feels. She becomes a non-human and you absolutely DESTROY her (and laugh while doing it!) because you're more concerned about not being 'stuck' with this person than how they're being demeaned or traumatised.
Right on! Too much pressure for just one sex. It travels both ways.
Dudes can be friends for years and not know each others real name
true. I have friends for years, that they told me their name years ago once, I forgot and never asked again. In my freshman year of college, there was a guy who we were close friends, I didn't even know his name for months. You just have your bros, names are optional
Hah, I was friends with a guy for 20+ years, when my wife first met him she said "is he gay?". I sat there for a bit and said "I don't know, I've never thought to ask, I've never known him to date anyone and he's never mentioned anyone".
That goes for women as well, at least us nerds. I'm friends with some women I met 20+years ago in an online forum. I did not know their RL names for almost a decade, well, we exchanged our names, but we never used them and forgot about them again. We've met in person several times during that time but we always used and still do use our online nicknames (yes, I know their RL names now and I do remember them)
lemme tell ya about...this guy i hung out with yesterday. know em for years.
My brother once had a friend group with multiple guys with the same first name, so they all got nicknames. One day one of the guys in the group tried calling another friend’s house to see if he was still coming over. The friend’s mom picked up. Then he asked, “Is Canadian there?” Yeah. Apparently the friend’s mom was so offended she tried to ban him from seeing them again. “They don’t even know your name!”
This is also true for military members regardless of gender. I worked with a guy for several years and had no idea his name was Bryan and not actually "Big Daddy"
No. I'm not going to the gym to hit on "b*****s" or get into shape to be attractive to other women.
I'm just tired of almost passing out every time I bend over to tie my shoes.
If I see someone improving their looks or health, I always assume that they’re doing it for themselves first instead of for others
If you're doing it for others than you are doing it wrong. Unless it's charity.
Load More Replies...I had a friend whose wife objected to his trips to the gym because she thought he was just showing off his well-toned body to attract the women there. Absolutely not true. It wasn't the women at all.
Some men train hard. Some men hardly train. Some men train to make other men hard.
My wife and I constantly talk about how we work hard to be each other's best option. Relationships aren't 50/50, they're 100/100. I'm all-in on her and she's all-in on me. I train hard and eat healthy for myself and for her. I want a long life with her; the gym and the grocery store are part of that--for both of us.
Nice way to refer to women. You have more problems than needing to work out.
Notice the quotes, he's paraphrasing other men's assumptions on why he's going to the gym.
Load More Replies...Exactly! Working out isn't just for "looking good" because just about every man knows he can still be a stud with a round belly and man boobs. Sometimes, we do it for our own personal health.
Hilarious! I'm the same. I purchased membership to go when it's rainy or cold.
And I am afraid to go because I do not want to be the one stared at or made fun of...
Since we are still in the middle of a huge change, there are “so many things” that could be improved in our society, Mac says.
The epidemic of loneliness and the lack of depth in male friendships because of it being “weak” to talk about feelings and what’s happening with us is one.
Another thing is that lots of men still don’t get mental or physical help or check-ups as, again, if something is wrong it’s a sign of weakness.
“Between the masculine messaging and the capitalist mentality in our Western culture, most also carry the message that we are playing a lifelong game of 'king of the hill'.”
In other words, we’re always competing with each other, instead of collaborating more. Mac says we could achieve much more if we collaborated and didn’t worry about sharing credit as much.
We like compliments. If you compliment a guy he might remember it for years.
… and then he might think you’re into him because we never receive compliments but that is an entirely new issue
I mean… if we got them regularly, we wouldn’t think that
Load More Replies...I think part of this is because boys are not taught to compliment each other from a young age, whereas little girls learn to say positive (and negative) things about each others' appearances starting in preschool/kindergarten. Adults tell girls that they are "cute" and "pretty" before the tots even learn to talk when they should be compliment children of both genders on things like kindness, patience, and effort instead (or at least just as often as the appearance based compliments).
Omg I love complements. If I get too many at once I malfunction and can't speak much to the amusement of someone I used to talk to
i compliment dudes a lot, never woman because i get too shy when it comes to them. My gay a$$ would explode
If you are intimate with a guy and he frequently compliments your body, compliment his body back. "No comment" is lousy foreplay.
Yeah.. that second part... is how I've received some of the worst treatment in my life. I compliment someone... they think I'm into them.. .but oh no, they think I'm hideous - so they IMMEDIATELY start ensuring that they treat me as terribly as possible. Every time I see this person now, they will remind me about how 'no one likes me' and that I'm not attractive so it's great that I did well on the test... etc. etc. Okay, yeah, so this is why you guys don't get compliments so often...
When I was in like 4th grade, There was this boy in my class and I guess I told him I liked his shirt, no big deal right? Well then in HIGH SCHOOL he walks up to me and he is all like hi (insert name here) how did this guy remember my name?(I didn't remember his) it turns out he still rememberd me complimenting that shirt.
You are a very cute duckie. I'd happily share some bread with you!
Load More Replies...
If you let me lie in your lap and you run your fingers through my hair and stroke my face, I’ll say “yes” to whatever you propose
My husband likes this, especially when I play with his ear. I remember once he laid his head on my knees, grabbed my hand, and placed it right on his ear. It was cute and I find it funny how this grown man who some will be scared of because of his quiet and serious demeanor will turn into a cuddly puppy who wants ear scritches.
Yes. I’m a female but I always love it when my parents just play with my hair or scratch my back lovingly. It makes me feel like a pet, and honestly I don’t mind that, because it means I’m still loved. It relaxes me and I’m not often relaxed
Load More Replies...Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch are my primary love languages (how I receive love) so, yeah--those are the keys to the kingdom...
The day before a very close girl (friend) of mine gave me a flower.
I can barely explain how amazing that made me feel. I almost cried.
Needless to say that memeory has a golden spot in my brain.
just remember girls that we are humans as well, and EVERY, i mean it EVERY man seeks this feeling.
I read this recently and it realy stuck with me. So this year I bought my husband some birthday carnations🌸🌸🌸
Load More Replies...My work wife sent me flowers last year, at my house, for no reason at all, other than being there for her at work. It was super sweet. She's one of my closest friends.
My sweet mother brings me flowers to every show I do--whether I direct or act in it--has since I was in middle school.
One Father’s Day I sent flowers to my Dad. He loves getting new tools even though he already has a massive collection of, for example, screwdrivers. Apparently guys can never have too many of them. I had the florist go purchase a small toolbox and put flowers in it, but also some tools stuck in there too. He absolutely loved it. And yes, it was the first time he had ever received flowers. The other time, a friend of mine was having a double hernia repair. He was going to be in the hospital a few days. I’m a nurse, so we can have a pretty weird sense of humour about medical stuff. I dropped off some flowers for him at the front desk with a get well card and inside I wrote ( and yes, I know I’m going to get comments about it being rude. 🤷♀️) In the card I asked him “So, how they hangin’? “ He thought it was hilarious and gave me the biggest hug and thank you. He’d never received flowers before either.
I still have a flower given to me by a girl I really liked. It was the mid 80s, I was 16 and it was a beautiful sun soaked afternoon in the local park with guitars out, beer and weed everywhere. She twined the flower into my hair and it was a perfect day. I haven’t got the hair anymore or the sun soaked afternoon but I still have the dried flower to remind me of that day 😎
Amazing how simple moments like that can become a memory forever! I bet whenever you look at that flower you get choked up and teary eyed, thinking of that time...
Load More Replies...About 20 years ago I gave flowers to one of my guy friends after his friend has passed away. When I dropped them off at his work he asked why I had given them to him and all I said was guys deserve to get flowers too. He still remembers that day and brings it up on occasions.
I'd rather get a beer or a chocolate. I'm not a flower person. If you felt the need to give flowers, make it a flowering *plant* at least then I can put the little pot plant on a table or plant it in the garden.
Goodie. That's what I told my b.f. after he sent me a bouquet: Flowers die after a wk. I can think of you every time I look at the plant for a year+. And I've kept the white plastic cover [over orange pot] w/aqua design as a waste basket in bathrm for eons. Good move, Ken Beattie.
Load More Replies...I once gave a guy a four leaf clover I had just picked, and I still remember how happy he was!
I like being childish and if I trust you enough I will be childish around you.
I always forget things but I really try to remember them.
We have days where we want to be left alone with peace and quiet
This applies to women as well. We are absolutely into men with a sense of humor and levity!
Work conversation: "I just remembered it's our wedding anniversary." "Did you get anything for your wife?" "No." "You're going to be in so much trouble..." "I don't think so." And sure enough, I totally forgot it was our anniversary and barely gave a sh*t.
Load More Replies...When I was a kid I thought that a serious grownup man had to be interested in trucks and crappy beer, and to know all the pros and cons of different kinds of roofing materials. Now I’m nearing 50 and I still like comic books and Dungeons & Dragons. Don’t give up the things that give you joy.
i love it when guys act childish. I would feel bad that they dont deserve in this cruel world. That goes to everyone not only guys
I'm a 70-year-old female with a spirited, happy eight-year-old residing within me from the days before life became sad and difficult. Not often but sometimes she gets to come out and play on days when the stars of opportunity, friendship and safety perfectly align. It's a gift being able to be playful and laugh without reservation and the people who bring this spirit out in me, well I love them so much.
We like being childish too. What we don't like is having to be your parent.
“I also think that in intimate relationships men want to have more depth but they are at a loss for where to begin and how to navigate that.”
The messaging of never showing vulnerability has become so ingrained in us, yet we must embrace vulnerability to get most of the things we want. Falling in love requires vulnerability, putting ourselves in the line in front of others to achieve things requires vulnerability too.
We could fail, be embarrassed or even hurt deeply, but we are taught that we should hide all of this - never talk about it, pretend we don’t fear, regret, and grieve.
All of this and more hinders men from being fully human, embodied and present in relationships, limiting us in ways some may never understand, which leaves them with an empty feeling.
“We need to reframe this toxic messaging. Embracing vulnerability is the way of the warrior, as is the ability to admit mistakes and be accountable for our actions in order to grow and evolve,” Mac Scotty McGregor finishes.
When you ask us a question, often times we'll quickly respond with "huh?".
It's not that we didn't hear you, cause we did. We're just buffering to give you an adequate answer.
I usually respond like that because I have a hard time paying attention so I have to double check to see if I heard a question correctly
I have to admit I hate this because then I repeat my sentence only for you to answer me halfway in. Gets annoying sometimes. Rather stay quiet then until the end of my sentence so it doesn't feel like such a waste every single time.
Women experience this too; when I didn’t hear the question the first time, I was preoccupied with something else like work is all!
We know. :D in my past experiences it was so they could come up with a lie. However, I know not all men are like that. :)
When I talk to my husband I have to be sure I have eye contact. Otherwise there is no way to be sure he heard a word I've said. Our kids (adults) still don't get it.
I'm not sitting here all ears and waiting for your question. I'm thinking about something else. You've interrupted me and all I got was some sounds that tell me you want my attention.
I trained myself to say 'uhhm' instead of 'huh' in that situation, still just a grunt but (usually) manages to convey the 'I'm thinking' vibe.
Sometimes, that male confidence that you find attractive is us totally faking it while shaking on the inside, insecure AF.
That's true of every type of confidence. And real confidence is not knowing that things will go your way. It's knowing you'll be ok even if they don't.
I personally don't like that kind of showy confidence. Had too many bad encounters with narcissists
(woman here) I've learned how to make my body language to look confident in public. I have pretty horrible anxiety, and faking that confidence has stopped people from asking if I'm okay. It's helped a bit with my actual confidence too
And if you show attention to a female - a welcome not lewd or insensitive way, we are often faking it too.
If it looks like im ignoring you im probably just so deep in thought that i forgot i actually exist
Or trying to remember some sports statistic that's more important to me in the moment than most would think it should be.
Yesterday I had to shut off all brain input and output to remember an actor in a show I forgot name. Was like 10 minutes before I recovered
Load More Replies...These are the moments I try not to knowingly disturb someone. It can be so difficult to get the thoughts back
............. edit: sorry leaned on keyboard, forgot i was real
We're not necessarily watching p**n when we're in the bathroom for an hour. We may just be on Reddit and lose track of the time.
Used to play tetris on the o.g. gameboy till the batteries ran out and my legs were so numb i just fell forward off the toilet because i couldn't stand up. I miss the old days. Lol.
Every morning, and at least one other time during the day my husband does this. Problem is, some guys (like several I dated just prior to meeting the husband 15 years ago) would go into the bathroom with their phones and be texting their exes or their side piece. I s**t you not... 5 guys in a row, early on thankfully, stopped dating me to get back with an ex. So, yeah, not all men, but s fairly significant subset in my experience.
I mean, not to get personal or anything, but i see no issue with a partner browsing that. Its just them taking care of a nagging feeling quick at a bad time. As i said I don't mean to get personal, and maybe its different being that im a furry, but my partner knows i use that kinda content to get that *feeling* out of my system in inconvent times. I guess what I'm trying to say is even if they are watching that content, chance's are its not trying to be disrespectful
I have no problem with guys looking at Reddit or whatever on phones, but when there’s only ONE bathroom in the house, for the love of God, stay off your phone in there. Get in, get out, thank you.
Those memes that are like
Women: I wonder what he's thinking about
Man: *dumbest s**t ever to be thought about*
Are far more true than you think BUT it could also be the complete opposite, they could be thinking the deepest most philisophical s**t ever too.
Either way their answer will be "nothing"
Asked my Husband what he was thinking about because he was staring off into space... he said the groomer didnt shave around the dogs balls great... never asking that question again 🙈
Is it weird that when I stare off into space or at nothing I am literally just thinking about whatever I’m staring at, like if I am just staring at a wall, I’m literally just thinking: wall
Load More Replies...See, I've got a problem where I could be thinking about anything, and as soon as someone asks me what I was thinking about, I immediately forget it.
I have learnt this over a long life, men are generally direct and women do 'hints'. I try my best to communicate with men (and every other person) in a way that suits them. It would be nice if others could do the same
Some woman once tweeted a version of this, saying her BF had literally been lost in thought wondering how bicycle tires were manufactured, and the majority of male replies were questions about bicycle tire manufacturing and links to articles about making bicycle tires.
Obviously thinking about nothing. 2 's}{its' in his 'thoughts' cause he lacks a vocabulary to think about much. Goes from "wondering what HE's thinking about" then switches to "THEY could be thinking..." Rather poor thinking, this brain, so he was right~~"thinking about nothing." Bull's eye!
Atoms aren’t sentient, but cells are. We tend to be afraid of being caught in the rain, but showers are not only acceptable, but expected. We hate when it’s windy outside, but like air conditioning systems.
When you explain or rant my brain is telling me how to fix it....
And yes I'm listening but this is how you fix that problem.
Edit: well, I've dunnit, alot of men are helping me with my problem too, and women aren't too happy about how I didn't really listen.
I sometimes need to vent. I sometimes need advice and for people to agree the person I'm talking about is a b***h. None of my family get it.
"Three choices: Do you want me to just listen, to give advice or to actively do something about it?"
Load More Replies...This can be true with any two people depending on their personalities. It can be helpful to ask things like, "Do you want me to suggest solutions or do you just need someone to listen?"
I absolutely appreciate this coming from men I've been in relationships with. I also use it with my son. I'm often surprised how much he asks for practical advice even though he's only 9. Of course he gets hugs too.
Load More Replies...I’ve learned to ask “are you looking for advice or do you just need to vent?”
Not acknowledging her feelings, not validating, or empathizing and going into fix-mode, yup. Women are absolutely capable of this too but it's more often men because talking about feelings, in their mind, is bad/weak/etc. so they perpetuate being emotionally unavailable and just trying to "solve" the problem rather than connect on a deeper level.
I've learned the hard way to switch from "problem fixing mode" to "just sympathetic listening mode"
Honestly I'm the kind of person who likes to fix things, to make things better for others too. But sometimes people just need someone to vent to. You are already making things better by being that person for them.
Most women just need someone to listen to them. They aren't looking for a fix. It's really hard to talk to a man who isn't really listening but just trying to find a way to fix me.
I'd like to give you some helpful advice, but I wasn't listening as a squirrel walked past
This 'fix it' mentality really can drive women NUTS!!! So often their 'fix' will not work anyway because they 'don't get it'. oh well - they mean well, but as Grandma said "Don't go to the hardware store for butter"!!
We have an entire language around the headnod
And then there's the head tilt. in addition... so much conveyed...
Load More Replies...With even no additional face expression needed. You just know, sis.
Load More Replies...Head Nod Down = Good job / I hear you, Bro | Head nod Up = How's it going/ sup | Head nod left = lets take this outside | Head nod right = Come over here/ lets go | Random head movements = were probably having a stronk |
down: respect. up: ayyy wassup man. left/right (I find it means different things): hey come over and check this out
Up - What's up Down - I respect you Right - Let's go in that direction Left - Come look at this
My dad and I were always great at communication with just a thumbs up or down.
We pick the urinal we pee in carefully.
It's an unspoken rule to not use the urinal next to someone. Especially if there are no dividers.
This rule may be relaxed if all the empty spots are next to occupied ones and the men are drunk.
Load More Replies...If you mean pick the one that does not have gum or c**p in it, yes I do that, but I usually just go into a stall whether I have to urinate or not, especially in school bathrooms, because I’m always afraid that some kid is going to just look into my stallt
I've heard it really helps if a small bug decal is placed near the hole, then men try to hit it. hehe
Also, we do not look at other guys' weiners. At least not intentionally. Eyes down or ahead, never sideways.
This rule applies heavily however I've seen and known plenty of guys who just silently understand to look away. Hell ive had guys taking a leak right next to me and we're casually chatting, its all in the environment i think
We forgot how to cry at some point early in our lives.
I'm so sorry for every one of you who did. Crying is natural, cathartic and good for the soul. So let's go visit those patriarchy-maintaining dudes, and make them cry
Some people who consider men crying to be 'unmanly' are women.
Load More Replies...I grew up in the "I'll give you something to cry about" era. So I equate crying with getting the s**t kicked out of by the person that was supposed to protect from that. I know it was the same way for way too many of us growing up.
Me too, Justin. When I became a mom, one of my priorities was to create a safe, nurturing environment for my son to feel and express any emotion. I fear there's still way too much stigma around letting boys and men cry when they need to. It really bothers me.
Load More Replies...We don't forget, we're just taught that it's a sign of weakness and we can never appear to be weak. At least that's how it was for me.
For me it was more about being taught not to cry because I was supposed to be the one to be leaned on. Even now, when a friend or family member dies, I'm usually the one who has to step up and give the eulogies while others get to grieve.
Load More Replies...I am saying this as a women, but many men are taught that crying or showing any negative emotion other than anger is a sign of weakness. This is such an antiquated view that really needs to be done away with. Expressing negative emotions in a healthy manner like crying can be healthy. We really need to end this stigma that women are overly emotional and men have to be stoic.
Load More Replies...I'm so sorry. Please find people around u where u can cry, it's so much better
That is just so sad. What a terrible thing we did to little boys to teach them that crying is weak and less manly. A good cry can sometimes relieve a lot of stress. We really don't mind.
When girls come over to a guys place. The guy is usually cleaning up his place like the Tasmanian Devil 1-2hrs before she comes over.
Super secret squirrel knowledge... shhhhhhh... we women do too. Then light some candles or incense just to further the illusion.
Load More Replies...Yeah women aren't as clean as a lot of you think we are, we absolutely cleaned before you got there.
And once we are done: *In Tasmanian Devil voice* Lemony Fresh...
Could you perhaps start cleaning regularly so that when we live together I'm not always cleaning up after you and when I'm injured and out of commission for a few weeks the house gets progressively grosser and grosser until I can't stand it anymore so I try to do some cleaning and then strain my injury resulting in a longer convalescence??
A junk closet or cabinet is good to have for emergency cleanup situations. 5-10 minutes before company comes ALL the junk mail, laundry, & random c**p get tossed into the hiding place.
Works a treat until you realise you haven't been cleaning out the junk closet and it already looks like it's about to explode ;)
Load More Replies...We do that too. Or at least some of us. We aren't all great at cleaning.
We fear we are loved for our value and not for who we are.
Do you mean everyone is only loved for their value? or that everyone fears this?
Load More Replies...Maybe I took this the wrong way but I read this as financial value, the provider role. I was thinking this meant that men felt significant pressure to be a provider and at the same time worry that’s the only reason they’re loved. But other people’s comments made me think that value was meant more broadly. Idk. People want to feel valued in the sense that they’re important and worthy of love. If that’s what this is talking about I’m not sure it’s exclusive to one gender.
Yeah, I think everyone feels like that nowadays, but it’s good to know.
My fear is usually that people I'm close to love me because they have to but they don't actually like me.
We don’t want to tell you certain things are worrying us because we dont want you to worry also… now there’s just two people worrying, where as before, one was worrying, and the other was happy, which is a reminder to us not to worry so much
Please don't do this. First, people in general would much rather worry with you than be blindsided by bad news. Second, we will wonder what else you're keeping from us, why you're 'protecting us' as if we're children...and whether we can continue to trust you.
You're either a partner or you're not. If you are, you share triumphs and burdens. If you're not, you've got a whole other worry.
Load More Replies...If you're hiding something from us we often know and will either 1) assume that it is something so huge you cannot share it or 2) assume we did something wrong and you're mad at us. Either way we feel bad. I'd much rather my husband told me his worries so that I can help him through it.
Please don't hide things from me. It's s**t and I'd rather know than not
A burden shared is a burden halved - and by including her you're demonstrating that you are, in fact, a partnership. - not to mention the mental health benefits for you to be able to discuss it.
But now there are two people who can work together on what your worrying about. We’re not fragile little flowers who need protecting.
Yeah, coughed up blood, had to have an MRI, chest X-rays, etc. Wife was furious I tried to keep it from her, I didn't see any point in her worrying until I was sure, I'm a big boy. Apparently this was the wrong response.
I'm sorry you went through this and understand why you chose not to tell her. If you dont know why she was furious, I'd be really upset if my husband did this because it meant he had to go through all that alone when I could have supported him because he didn't didn't believe I could handle my own feelings. I'd do this with a child, not the partner I've promised to share my life with.
Load More Replies...I get why you do this, but I can’t have a healthy relationship with ANYONE unless I can help them out with stuff like they help me. If I’m the only one talking about my problems, and you won’t open up to me, I feel like I’m burdening you or using you or something. I have to be able to return the favor.
My only issue with sharing is that I have PTSD from a previous relationship where I did share a lot in the beginning and later on she used it against me, so I stopped sharing. She's a narcissist so she did whatever she could to get her way. Something in still dealing with and working on.
Having the feeling everybody hates me. Or is it just me?
Seek therapy. I'm serious. That's no normal feeling, this is how depression starts. I've been there, and it can be so much better. It's mostly in your own head. Try to think about it, how much time you spend on thinking what people think about you, and how much you spend on thinking about what you think of others. Try to see yourself as you think about other people. Your life can be so much better. Take care.
Or the feeling that everyone you love and care about doesn't actually love you back and hey are just suffering your existence until they can get rid of you... No I wasn't thrown out of my house as a child, just a nagging fear in the back of my mind I can't solve.
“He didn’t scratch his nose. He was smelling his finger.” - Revelations 17:38
A colleague of mine liked to rub his finger under his ears and smell them. He'd do it casually, like an inconspicuous scratch ... then a whiff ... I. guess the oily part behind the ears has some kind of smell? Why do that? Anyhow, not all guys do that.
I. R. Sniffing Finger. https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/b/b7/I.R._Baboon.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20171103230039
I guess it may be the male version of the skit on SNL where the character in a girls school was constantly smelling her armpits.
I usually only do this if I just scratched my armpit, so then I know if I should wash my hand or not
Why would you even consider NOT? You just scratched your sweat glands awakening them to p**s on your hand. Quick, get the soap!
Load More Replies...Whoa, wait, nothing about how fart sounds will make us laugh like 4 year olds, and that never stops?
Fart sounds don't transfer to fart smells onto hands.
Load More Replies...I relate to a lot of these. I'm afab. Gender stereotypes r dumb but very gender afferming
I know this is off topic but I JUST REMEMBERED HOW COOL VALSTRAX IS!! Valstrax-6...67984b.jpg
These are all lame. Would have been nice to run across something original but nope it's just all the things that men have always thought women don't understand about them. Women do understand these things men, they just don't care.
If you dont like it, dont comment on it :(
Load More Replies...There's an old friend I've lost touch with that I always called Paul because he was the spitting image of a young Paul McCartney. Can't for the life of me remember his actual name now.
I love how almost every item had a woman comment "me too" or "Women have this too". Or you know, you could take this opportunity to LISTEN, and maybe ask follow up questions. THIS behavior is a reason men don't open up often. Many times, as soon as they do, the woman in their life immediately equates it to them and their legitimately similar struggles. So, like men think "here's how you fix this" and are accused of never "Just listening", Women, you have your own version, not a "fix", but a "I the same problem, and here's why it's worse for me/women"....we just shut down instead of say "you never just listen". Which is why every day of our lives, our day was "fine, how was yours..." So we can just cut to how bad your day was and move on...
Down south if a man belt tied up , his wife on war path. If tied down he needs help with wife gift. The there the many different hand signals for holding or pulling up pants. Just a heads up if you see it.
I've read this like 5 times now and still have no clue wtf you're trying to say.
Load More Replies...I relate to a lot of these. I'm afab. Gender stereotypes r dumb but very gender afferming
I know this is off topic but I JUST REMEMBERED HOW COOL VALSTRAX IS!! Valstrax-6...67984b.jpg
These are all lame. Would have been nice to run across something original but nope it's just all the things that men have always thought women don't understand about them. Women do understand these things men, they just don't care.
If you dont like it, dont comment on it :(
Load More Replies...There's an old friend I've lost touch with that I always called Paul because he was the spitting image of a young Paul McCartney. Can't for the life of me remember his actual name now.
I love how almost every item had a woman comment "me too" or "Women have this too". Or you know, you could take this opportunity to LISTEN, and maybe ask follow up questions. THIS behavior is a reason men don't open up often. Many times, as soon as they do, the woman in their life immediately equates it to them and their legitimately similar struggles. So, like men think "here's how you fix this" and are accused of never "Just listening", Women, you have your own version, not a "fix", but a "I the same problem, and here's why it's worse for me/women"....we just shut down instead of say "you never just listen". Which is why every day of our lives, our day was "fine, how was yours..." So we can just cut to how bad your day was and move on...
Down south if a man belt tied up , his wife on war path. If tied down he needs help with wife gift. The there the many different hand signals for holding or pulling up pants. Just a heads up if you see it.
I've read this like 5 times now and still have no clue wtf you're trying to say.
Load More Replies...
