Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group
There’s hidden depths to every person. There’s a reason why the “never judge a book by its cover” saying is a thing. Same goes for guys.
Sure, some fellas may be nose-picking, public-transport-burping, people-disrespecting weirdos, but that’s not really exclusive to guys, is it now?
In this post, men went out of their way to share and discuss the more sensitive things about their lives and experiences with the internet.
From funny urinal etiquette to the downright sad lack of compliments, here’s some men with no hang-ups about saying how it really is.
More info: Reddit
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Well, every Tuesday night we have a secret meeting where we decide how to best maintain the patriarchy, other than that, not much.
Some of these come up pretty frequently, but it's still helpful for women to be aware of them I guess. Here's a non-exhaustive list (on mobile so sorry if i screw up the formatting) :
When I say I'm thinking about "nothing", I'm serious. My brain was off, it's just static up there or random scenes from movies.
Most of us are acutely aware of how scared women are of men, and we all do our best to minimize that fear for you. My run yesterday around the loop in my park? Gotta be going the opposite direction as the women who were rollerblading so they can see me coming the whole way, don't make eye contact so I don't come off as creepy, etc.
I actually like interacting with kids. They're insane and goofy, say crazy things, and are fun to interact with. No, I'm not a p**o, I'm just treating them like the tiny humans they are and they deserve attention.
Fruity drinks taste awesome and I want to order them. Those little umbrellas and cool straws are the s**t.
Yes, we are all mentally 16 and will giggle about any number of stupid things.
Compliments live rent free in our heads forever. My favorite shirt is my favorite because a cute girl told me she loved the color and it looks good on me...4 years ago.
Saying "she's cute" does NOT mean I am actively trying to get with her, it's just an observation.
We like specifics. "The trash is full" is an observation, and we will agree with you. Our brain did not hear "please take out the trash" like you intended us to.
My last point can be changed with thorough training and a lot of patience and clarifying expectations.
Dear God, just tell us where you want to eat or what you want as a Christmas present. Most of us suck at those guessing games, even if we really try, and we just want to get you what is actually going to make you happy.
Not a dude, but I have a husband. I feel like the best thing he needs when he comes home is a big a*s hug. Doesn't matter if it was a rough day or long day or neither. He needs a hug. I like cooking dinner for my husband so something warm or comforting is waiting for him too. Even if it's left overs. He loves his back scratched, so I'll do that for him or scratch his head. We will sit in silence sometimes while he scrolls on his phone to decompress, than we chat and we put on the TV or go for a walk. I feel like it's the simple things that matter a lot to him. I was very intent on knowing who my husband was and what he wanted when we were dating. I try to encompass those things naturally. I will tell him I love him randomly. I tell him he looks good when he goes to work and when he is just lounging. It melts his heart and I can tell.
Its a lot of fun living with a man and seeing the natural differences that are their norms. Breaks my heart when I see perfectly good men treated like garbage. I mean if he is trash, it's different but most people are just trying their best and I think the small things I do for my husband mean a lot to him.
I think we all want a woman who is as interested in us as we are in her.
Although hearing how men try to avoid choosing the middle urinal if the surrounding ones are occupied may be a funny surprise or super relatable, other guy “secrets” aren’t nearly as funny.
They may be written with a comedic tone, but their true message isn’t humorous in the least.
Some examples of this are how men treasure their one decade-old compliment or how they have to fake their confidence and hide significant insecurities.
These comments, while being veiled as jokes, are indicative of something much more serious. It’s a sign that there are, as there have always been, certain toxic misconceptions about men and how they should be treated - even between men themselves!
LEGO Isn't just for kids
Here's a "woman secret"....some of us like Legos, too. I have 4 HUGE totes(the ones that look like a storage chest) FULL and that's not including my builds in progress.
We really have no control over what we do in your dreams.
We're kinda like dogs. Things in front of me get attention, if I don't burn enough energy I get zoomies, my behavior piques when I am offered food, use brief and explicit instructions or I will look at you funny trying to figure what you really want, and I love naps on the couch
Before you ask...this does not include licking parts of oneself that should not be licked by oneself (normally).
To help us unravel this issue, Bored Panda reached out to Mac Scotty McGregor, Founder and President of Positive Masculinity, regularly striving to empower people to examine how they were conditioned by certain gender expectations. He believes that we, as conscious adults, can understand which of those beliefs are no longer serving us and how they can be replaced with healthier options.
Currently Mac educates and trains corporations and large groups on diversity and sensitivity. He’s a dedicated activist and educator whose main focus is to help create a world where people can feel free to be themselves.
You'll find communicating with guys is a lot easier if you just are direct and open about what you want.
We NEVER know when you like us.
I'm 48. Looking back. I f****d up so much
I either am clueless if someone likes me, or make everything they do seem like there dropping hints that they like me.
That big sigh my wife just asked about while we’re watching the 10 o’clock news? Nothing profound, nothing bugging me, I just remembered to breathe.
This happens SO often. "What's the matter?" "Nothing. Genuinely nothing."
According to Mac there certainly are some “hidden” things that men deal with on a regular basis.
A big one is that the world we are in teaches young and older men alike that they must always be strong, independent, self-sufficient, and in control.
“That includes being in control of our emotions. There are only three emotions that are acceptable for men to show, and those are: assertiveness, anger, or high-fiving our buddies when our team wins.”
Middle-aged men have the biggest rate for ending their own lives prematurely and Mac believes that this traditional masculine model and messaging is part of the bigger cause.
Guys have to deal with other guys policing them and limiting how they should express themselves by ridiculing others that don’t fit into the old model.
Please for the love of god let us know if you’re into us. Don’t wait for us to tell you first because we won’t because we don’t want to be called creeps.
This is also precisely why women are afraid to let on about their feelings occasionally. If we do let on how we feel about someone, sometimes we’re told we should let men lead, and we’re emasculating them. If we don’t let on, we’re told we’re being frigid or making too much of the situation. Honest and respectful communication benefits everyone involved, in my experience!
Dudes can be friends for years and not know each others real name
true. I have friends for years, that they told me their name years ago once, I forgot and never asked again. In my freshman year of college, there was a guy who we were close friends, I didn't even know his name for months. You just have your bros, names are optional
how do you save their phone numbers? bro#1, bro#2 etc?
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Hah, I was friends with a guy for 20+ years, when my wife first met him she said "is he gay?". I sat there for a bit and said "I don't know, I've never thought to ask, I've never known him to date anyone and he's never mentioned anyone".
That goes for women as well, at least us nerds. I'm friends with some women I met 20+years ago in an online forum. I did not know their RL names for almost a decade, well, we exchanged our names, but we never used them and forgot about them again. We've met in person several times during that time but we always used and still do use our online nicknames (yes, I know their RL names now and I do remember them)
lemme tell ya about...this guy i hung out with yesterday. know em for years.
My brother once had a friend group with multiple guys with the same first name, so they all got nicknames. One day one of the guys in the group tried calling another friend’s house to see if he was still coming over. The friend’s mom picked up. Then he asked, “Is Canadian there?” Yeah. Apparently the friend’s mom was so offended she tried to ban him from seeing them again. “They don’t even know your name!”
This is also true for military members regardless of gender. I worked with a guy for several years and had no idea his name was Bryan and not actually "Big Daddy"
I've am friends with a guy for about a year now. I don't know his name, afraid to ask him now.. so I call him "Titu", he thinks I've given him a nickname, so he calls me "Bulu".. I think both of us are having the same issue.
I used to work with a guy whose nickname was Panda. To this day, nearly 25 years later, I still have no *clue* what his real name was.
True, I am off to see Stevo and Davey tonight. No idea what their real names are !!
I am terrible at remembering names. I might remember the hair color, the shape of the nose, etc. but a name? Sorry.
Can attest...my boyfriend has been texting/talking with a dude named "Visa card holder" for like 6 years... mind u he's a bartender but still stands in my book
Wow reading this back makes it seem like he's cheating on me & using the weird name as an excuse haha guys, I can 100% sure you that's not it...I know this dude & his first name but figured I wouldn't put it here bc thats what he's known as "blah blah via card holder"
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Albeit a woman, this i can confirm. My husband goes by three different names - different circle, different name but not his real name. No one really knows his real name. And he's also not interested to know his friends' real name.
I haven't had this experience. But in Africa it is super rude to not know someone's name. In fact, some people have "Special" names like tribal names or praise words, and if you know those, it shows even more respect.
very true and it can go for brothers names as well, i just recently learned my brothers middle names (2 have the same one)
This is very true. My uncle was a hockey player and many of their nicknames stick for life! A few years ago a bunch of them were hanging around and somehow they ended up with one of their mothers (the guys would have been in their 50's at this point). My uncle said something along the lines of, "Wait up Chuggy, I'm coming too!" Well, when his mother heard that she gave my uncle holy hell (deservingly so). What she understood that even her own son didn't is that "chuggy" is a pejorative term for first nations people. I don't think any of them were aware of their faux pas. Certainly nobody had thought to ask their friend if he was comfortable with the nickname. So after that day, "Chuggy" decided to go by his real name. A move that was universally accepted by his friends but caused a log of disruption for a while because nobody actually knew his real name. They'd be going out for beers and someone would say, "Let's invite Dave!" but nobody knew who Dave was!
Once you're dudes to each other, "Dude" is the only name anyone needs. Right, dude?
just like me, i made friends with someone on roblox around 3-5 years ago, i just found out her name last year
Nicknames at most! I'd really have to think to get to their real names because we're all just so used to the nicknames. But besides that, we can go a long way without even knowing those!
your name isn't jack? that nickname came from a bunch of people calling you a jackass? huh
I don’t get this one. My guy friends and I share our feelings and our thoughts. And our names.
No. I'm not going to the gym to hit on "b*****s" or get into shape to be attractive to other women.
I'm just tired of almost passing out every time I bend over to tie my shoes.
If I see someone improving their looks or health, I always assume that they’re doing it for themselves first instead of for others
Since we are still in the middle of a huge change, there are “so many things” that could be improved in our society, Mac says.
The epidemic of loneliness and the lack of depth in male friendships because of it being “weak” to talk about feelings and what’s happening with us is one.
Another thing is that lots of men still don’t get mental or physical help or check-ups as, again, if something is wrong it’s a sign of weakness.
“Between the masculine messaging and the capitalist mentality in our Western culture, most also carry the message that we are playing a lifelong game of 'king of the hill'.”
In other words, we’re always competing with each other, instead of collaborating more. Mac says we could achieve much more if we collaborated and didn’t worry about sharing credit as much.
We like compliments. If you compliment a guy he might remember it for years.
… and then he might think you’re into him because we never receive compliments but that is an entirely new issue
If you let me lie in your lap and you run your fingers through my hair and stroke my face, I’ll say “yes” to whatever you propose
The day before a very close girl (friend) of mine gave me a flower.
I can barely explain how amazing that made me feel. I almost cried.
Needless to say that memeory has a golden spot in my brain.
just remember girls that we are humans as well, and EVERY, i mean it EVERY man seeks this feeling.
I like being childish and if I trust you enough I will be childish around you.
I always forget things but I really try to remember them.
We have days where we want to be left alone with peace and quiet
This applies to women as well. We are absolutely into men with a sense of humor and levity!
“I also think that in intimate relationships men want to have more depth but they are at a loss for where to begin and how to navigate that.”
The messaging of never showing vulnerability has become so ingrained in us, yet we must embrace vulnerability to get most of the things we want. Falling in love requires vulnerability, putting ourselves in the line in front of others to achieve things requires vulnerability too.
We could fail, be embarrassed or even hurt deeply, but we are taught that we should hide all of this - never talk about it, pretend we don’t fear, regret, and grieve.
All of this and more hinders men from being fully human, embodied and present in relationships, limiting us in ways some may never understand, which leaves them with an empty feeling.
“We need to reframe this toxic messaging. Embracing vulnerability is the way of the warrior, as is the ability to admit mistakes and be accountable for our actions in order to grow and evolve,” Mac Scotty McGregor finishes.
When you ask us a question, often times we'll quickly respond with "huh?".
It's not that we didn't hear you, cause we did. We're just buffering to give you an adequate answer.
I usually respond like that because I have a hard time paying attention so I have to double check to see if I heard a question correctly
Sometimes, that male confidence that you find attractive is us totally faking it while shaking on the inside, insecure AF.
That's true of every type of confidence. And real confidence is not knowing that things will go your way. It's knowing you'll be ok even if they don't.
If it looks like im ignoring you im probably just so deep in thought that i forgot i actually exist
We're not necessarily watching p**n when we're in the bathroom for an hour. We may just be on Reddit and lose track of the time.
I have 2 adult sons. My youngest has been known to sit on the "throne" for AGES reading a book. The first time it was "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone", most recently it was "Lord of the Rings".
Those memes that are like
Women: I wonder what he's thinking about
Man: *dumbest s**t ever to be thought about*
Are far more true than you think BUT it could also be the complete opposite, they could be thinking the deepest most philisophical s**t ever too.
Either way their answer will be "nothing"
Asked my Husband what he was thinking about because he was staring off into space... he said the groomer didnt shave around the dogs balls great... never asking that question again 🙈
When you explain or rant my brain is telling me how to fix it....
And yes I'm listening but this is how you fix that problem.
Edit: well, I've dunnit, alot of men are helping me with my problem too, and women aren't too happy about how I didn't really listen.
I sometimes need to vent. I sometimes need advice and for people to agree the person I'm talking about is a b***h. None of my family get it.
We pick the urinal we pee in carefully.
It's an unspoken rule to not use the urinal next to someone. Especially if there are no dividers.
We forgot how to cry at some point early in our lives.
I'm so sorry for every one of you who did. Crying is natural, cathartic and good for the soul. So let's go visit those patriarchy-maintaining dudes, and make them cry
When girls come over to a guys place. The guy is usually cleaning up his place like the Tasmanian Devil 1-2hrs before she comes over.
We fear we are loved for our value and not for who we are.
We don’t want to tell you certain things are worrying us because we dont want you to worry also… now there’s just two people worrying, where as before, one was worrying, and the other was happy, which is a reminder to us not to worry so much
Please don't do this. First, people in general would much rather worry with you than be blindsided by bad news. Second, we will wonder what else you're keeping from us, why you're 'protecting us' as if we're children...and whether we can continue to trust you.
Having the feeling everybody hates me. Or is it just me?
“He didn’t scratch his nose. He was smelling his finger.” - Revelations 17:38
I relate to a lot of these. I'm afab. Gender stereotypes r dumb but very gender afferming
I know this is off topic but I JUST REMEMBERED HOW COOL VALSTRAX IS!! Valstrax-6...67984b.jpg 
These are all lame. Would have been nice to run across something original but nope it's just all the things that men have always thought women don't understand about them. Women do understand these things men, they just don't care.
If you dont like it, dont comment on it :(
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There's an old friend I've lost touch with that I always called Paul because he was the spitting image of a young Paul McCartney. Can't for the life of me remember his actual name now.
I love how almost every item had a woman comment "me too" or "Women have this too". Or you know, you could take this opportunity to LISTEN, and maybe ask follow up questions. THIS behavior is a reason men don't open up often. Many times, as soon as they do, the woman in their life immediately equates it to them and their legitimately similar struggles. So, like men think "here's how you fix this" and are accused of never "Just listening", Women, you have your own version, not a "fix", but a "I the same problem, and here's why it's worse for me/women"....we just shut down instead of say "you never just listen". Which is why every day of our lives, our day was "fine, how was yours..." So we can just cut to how bad your day was and move on...
Down south if a man belt tied up , his wife on war path. If tied down he needs help with wife gift. The there the many different hand signals for holding or pulling up pants. Just a heads up if you see it.
I've read this like 5 times now and still have no clue wtf you're trying to say.
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This is really alien to my way of thinking. You actually keep score? You do 'favors' and expect to be 'repaid'? It wouldn't even occur to me to think like this. Personal relationships shouldn't be transactional.
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I relate to a lot of these. I'm afab. Gender stereotypes r dumb but very gender afferming
I know this is off topic but I JUST REMEMBERED HOW COOL VALSTRAX IS!! Valstrax-6...67984b.jpg
These are all lame. Would have been nice to run across something original but nope it's just all the things that men have always thought women don't understand about them. Women do understand these things men, they just don't care.
If you dont like it, dont comment on it :(
Load More Replies... There's an old friend I've lost touch with that I always called Paul because he was the spitting image of a young Paul McCartney. Can't for the life of me remember his actual name now.
I love how almost every item had a woman comment "me too" or "Women have this too". Or you know, you could take this opportunity to LISTEN, and maybe ask follow up questions. THIS behavior is a reason men don't open up often. Many times, as soon as they do, the woman in their life immediately equates it to them and their legitimately similar struggles. So, like men think "here's how you fix this" and are accused of never "Just listening", Women, you have your own version, not a "fix", but a "I the same problem, and here's why it's worse for me/women"....we just shut down instead of say "you never just listen". Which is why every day of our lives, our day was "fine, how was yours..." So we can just cut to how bad your day was and move on...
Down south if a man belt tied up , his wife on war path. If tied down he needs help with wife gift. The there the many different hand signals for holding or pulling up pants. Just a heads up if you see it.
I've read this like 5 times now and still have no clue wtf you're trying to say.
Load More Replies... This is really alien to my way of thinking. You actually keep score? You do 'favors' and expect to be 'repaid'? It wouldn't even occur to me to think like this. Personal relationships shouldn't be transactional.
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