Anyone who has been even tangentially interested in dating content online has no doubt come across the idea of an “ick” as well as “red flags.” For those who are unfamiliar, both of these are things people dislike and aim to avoid when dating. This can range from personal preferences to behavior one should absolutely avoid.
Someone asked “Men/boys what are your biggest icks or turn-offs in women/girls?” and males shared their thoughts. So get comfortable as you read through, upvote your favorites, and be sure to share your own thoughts in the comments section below.
This post may include affiliate links.
Absurd caterpillar eyelashes. Absurdly gross long finger nails.
No idea why women think this looks good. I'm a woman and it makes me cringe.
I totally support other women choosing to do that for themselves, but it’s not my cup of tea personally. I don’t even like my nails very long naturally!
I recently visited Santorini. One evening, I had dinner at a place overlooking a very popular spot with an amazing view of the island and the water. I lost count of how many Insta girls dragged their dead-eyed boyfriends there and proceeded to cycle through two dozen look-at-me poses while whining photo instructions. Treating people in your life like props or unpaid crew just so you can appear glamorous on social media is a major ick.
Everyone carrying a camera around all the time and their need for attention on social media has created a pathological narcissistic world.
Those dudes know what they signed up for. Too bad none of them have a backbone.
call me uninformed, but how does this "influencer" stuff work, how do people wind up getting so many views?
I guess they’re just kinda lucky with the algorithm because that influencer woman in the picture is making the absolute worst bridge I’ve ever seen.
Load More Replies...My boyfriend and I were at a theme park a few months ago. While we were eating lunch, we watched a woman take photos/videos of herself for an hour near one of the rides. Her boyfriend got bored and wandered off after a few minutes, so she propped her phone up on a lamppost and kept going. She spent $95 to get into the park for a day, spent at least an hour of it posing, and never actually got on the ride.
"...dead-eyed boyfriends..." Ha! Those poor suckers. I hope the sex is worth it.
So, they wanted their boyfriends to take pictures? This guy is an idiot
Treating people like servers, bartenders or cashiers like complete garbage is a huge red flag and it shows what type of person they really are.
Thank you Captain Obvious, however this article is about *women's* red flags.
Load More Replies...The options these men shared cover a pretty wide range of possible issues. What a woman’s voice sounds like is closer to an ick. After all, everyone has their own preferences, there isn’t exactly an “objective” superior vocal tone. However, a few of the men here seem to have misunderstood the assignment.
After all, a partner who suddenly ghosts you because she feels like it sounds like a nightmare for the vast majority of people. This is less an ick, and more a major behavioral issue. Oftentimes, icks are superficial, physical traits, although those can still bring forth pretty sizable emotions.
My big three: Materialism. Sincere belief in Astrology. Kardashian worship.
Hahahaha if you're wearing a 'healing' crystal or if I find Long Island Medium or John Edwards in any of your saved tv shows lists... I'm running away.
astrology is a hobby. I don't believe it myself but I don't want to judge people who do as long as they aren't hurting anybody else
Astrology is a fun way to express yourself. But it shouldn't be your entire personality. ;)
And what exactly does it express about yourself?
Load More Replies...The one thing I hate about my birthday is that Kim Kardashian will (unfortunately) be celebrating hers too.
I don’t mean to laugh, but this is like discrediting a person because you have different taste in music.
When they say s**t like “if he’s under 6 foot or makes less than 100k a year I’m not interested.”
Ironically I am 6’2 and make over that, it’s not about feeling secure it’s just about being annoyed by idiocy.
You are not an amusement park ride, you don't need a "you must be this tall" sign
I don't care how tall you are (I'm just over 5' though, so you're going to be taller than me anyway probably lol). I also don't care if you make lots of money, as long as you're making enough to cover your own bills. that's good enough for me :)
But what if taller guys are a big turn-on? I myself find physical attraction being one of the essential parts of a great relationship. There are women who don't care for height, or even are looking for someone shorter. I'm attracted to very tall men, and I can't just turn that feeling off. I'm married to a 2 meters tall man (6'6) and I'm very happy. People have preferences and expressing them is not wrong.
You're right about physical attraction, but it's a reasonable turnoff when the height requirement is combined with a 6-figure income requirement.
Load More Replies...Men do this as well! People judge one another on their appearances and success. Many people are not able to see beyond that to who the person in front of them is. Many women (even more then men) are judged on their appearances and their willingness to "serve the man".
This article is based on a question to the r/askreddit subreddit that specifically asked "Men/boys what are you biggest icks or turn offs in women/girls", these are all the comments made to the question. The question was specifically directed at men/boys about women/girls. Yes men do many of these things as well, everyone knows that, but the topic is specifically from men/boy's perspective on things women/girls do
Load More Replies...These days, my best girl purrs and dines on Fancy Feast for reasons such as these.
I'm 6-2 make well under 100K a year and 100% self sufficient. Don't need so called high valued trash like that. Many "simple basic, non materialistic" women out there that are way more attractive then these high class snobs!
What is offensive here is the double standard that is pushed by this. It is perfectly OK for a woman to say "I only date guys that are over 6 foot." But when a guy says "I only date women that are height/weight proportionate." he gets bashed for being discriminatory and fat phobic. Personal preferences are just that, personal. But you don't have to be offensive about it. Just say "No, I am not interested, but thank you." and move on.
I am a simple man, but botox lips is an instant turn of.
100% not attractive to see a woman permanently stuck in 2009 Jersey Shore mode
Load More Replies...Permanent duckface...don't care if you need fillers or botox or whatever...keeps me thinking: "you'd be really pretty without that".
Fun fact, my horse tore his miniscus and now has lip filler in his hip. He also has wedges to angle his shoes, and my dad often calls him 'the fanciest horse with his lip filler and cuban heels'
You know, this got me thinking. I wonder why orthopedic docs can't use fillers to help people with decreased disc space in their spines, or to help cushion other joints. My knee would love that. 😂
Load More Replies...But if they're done subtly and well, you can't tell. Unpopular opinion, I know.
Also Botox is for making skin less wrinkly and fillers are for making lips plump (which looks ridiculous and is unecessary unless there's a valid medical reason behind it)
Botox treatment on lips is widely banned these days because half the time you contracted botulism, but it went on for years, Nurse
Load More Replies...Botox lips? Is that a thing? I thought botox was injected in the forehead area and around the eyes to get rid of wrinkles?
Racism. Had a girl call a group of black kids the nword because they very slightly delayed us. Like literally they were just walking across the crosswalk.
Never went from 100% to 0 that fast. She was so confused why I didn't want to stay the night with her.
Racism is below the lowest of the low. I'd keep far away from any racists, men or women. It's just evil. It's not even zero interest, but -100 interest.
Right. It's like "I am really interested in being as far away from you as possible".
Load More Replies...Oh I would have kicked her outta my car then and there! GTFO NOW!
I just can't understand racism. People all over the world live in places where their "race" is the majority. So why do racists think they are superior? and as far as "race" I would like to think we are the "human race" but, some people are insistant that we are of different levels of humans.
People are racists because they want to feel superior to other people but are so unaccomplished that they can't come up with a single valid reason to do so.
Load More Replies...Racism is lazy. At least take a little time getting to know someone. I'm sure you'll find something to hate them for on a personal basis.
I had this happen once, not a date, but a coworker. We were in grief counseling and went to a family to help them. They happened to be AA and the coworker was playing with the little kids, and I thought, "He sure likes kids". Anyway, when we got to the car he says "Little *n-word* are so much fun to play with, they are like monkeys". I was stunned and told the manager, who fired him.
Yes! There's nothing worse when you're with someone and they seem totally normal and then suddenly their inner racist makes itself known and you're like...oh okay I need to get away from this nutjob asap. I'd also add sexism and homophobia. I have to say it's really hard to find guys in my area that don't use f*g as a term to make fun of their friends or pus*y as a term when calling someone weak or 'gay'. Because being a woman or gay is the worst thing you can be to them. And even if they don't feel that way and it's just learned behavior...I wish they'd unlearn it or stop. It's such an immediate turn off. I'm not a snowflake and I know how to take a joke but it leaves such a bad impression of you. Why would you choose to be that?
Funny story- decades ago in middle school, a guy called me a Nazi because I had German heritage (this happened in the US). I was wearing clogs at the time so I kicked him *evil laugh*. I told him later why I was so profoundly upset at anyone calling me that, I gave him a quick family history lesson (my mom's relatives were freedom fighters in Norway during WW2). He apologized to me and we got to be friends.
I don't either. And I realize it sounds 'virtue signaling' or whatever, but I can't get my head around it either. it seems like such alame-a*s way to use your brain-power/actions/opinions. I think if most racists, etc, sat down and *really* thought about it, they wouldn't be able to come up with any logical reason for their beliefs at all. Not one.
Load More Replies...Hope the OP told her - "You are a racist and the horrible, racist, insulting, ignorant, demeaning term you used to refer to those Black kids was a complete turn off. I am better than that and I though you were as well. You need to work on yourself in a big way. Good bye."
When every other word that comes out of her mouth is "like". Drives me crazy.
With the inflection at the end of every sentence because everything's a question? You know? all the time? like that? ugh...
Load More Replies...And, like, you know, the second, like, most common, you know, like, expression, you know, is like "you know".
If I never said "like", I'd sound like Bill From IT
Load More Replies...It’s hard for me not to it’s a placeholder for stuttering or dead air until my brain works again
I couldn't watch some interviews because the girl was saying "like" after every 2-3 words. It's incredibly annoying.
I watch SkyNews and have to mute anytime kids are interviewed because of it.
Load More Replies...i'm guilty of this because it's my filler word instead of pausing or saying uhh
I have the same feeling when people say 'whatever' all the time. I'm not going to lie, I say 'like' a lot...not an obscene amount, but definitely more than average. But I grew up in the 80s and 90s and it's damn near vernacular.
When people say "whatever," if comes off in a way that makes you feel like they don't care about you or anything you say. Makes me feel put down.
Load More Replies...oh what a tragedy that people need filler words when their brains haven't caught up yet. I am a firm over-sayer of 'like' and I am PROUD
My filler words for brainfarts are “um umm ummm ummmm ummmmm” (the ums get progressively longer and deeper), *sigh*, *silence*, or “idk anymore ANYWAYS” and “like”
Phone addiction.
Doc911:
Phone addiction which too often is just social media addiction. The worse of this addiction results in "phubbing."
If she's already on the phone all the time with insta/texts/messages, you already feel like you're never alone with her. Your time together is always shared. If on top of that she's on the phone for social reasons when you are specifically trying to spend time together ... rude, lack of respect, and a clear sign whatever is on that phone is more important than you are. Most women wouldn't tolerate it, men should not either.
i had a friend like this i am guy but we were just mates we used to grab a coffee or lunch together but she would always be texting on her phone when we hung out i started to not enjoy being around her its fine to answer a text but to be on the phone the whole time and not be present i cant help but feel like i must be boring
May I, politely say, Sod Off you little limp picanpie to whomever said this. Because, my husband does it too.
Yeah, this might be annoying behaviour but anyone claiming it's gendered had better bring some f*****g strong data.
Load More Replies...THIS is what might happen if someone spends too much time staring at their phone. LOL! https://www.instagram.com/reel/DEaT7G5TYa9/?igsh=MnNrN3ZjdWlzNGtu
It is plain rude to be on the phone when your dining or just enjoying each others company. Shut the phone off for petes sake, nothing is more important than who you are with. If they aren't more important than the phone, you shouldn't be with them, they are not right for you.
Not only shut off, but it should be out of sight completely.
Load More Replies...It's only courtesy to engage the person you are with. Machines can wait for later.
While she's busy with social media call up some porn with the sound up and see if it gets her attention or pisses her off.
I hate this trend where women are getting work done surgery/botox/filler to try an achieve that ig/tiktok influencer look. IT LOOKS SO FAKE AND UNNATURAL. Not to mention everyone just look f****n homogenous so no one stands out with whatever unique beauty they might’ve had.
Clones with long straight hair, centre-part, duck face with caterpillar eyelashes and artifical mammaries is a thing. It's a bleugh thing.
Starlight from The Boys did this and made herself unemployable. starlight-...f-jpeg.jpg
I had no idea she'd had any work done. How awful. She was gorgeous before. I can say, as a female myself, I was (a little) envious of how pretty/beautiful she was, and wished I was a fraction as pretty as her. Now she looks like a waxworks monster come to life :(
Load More Replies...MEN want all natural women. BOYS want whatever a Kardashian is 🙄
What's interesting is that what people are doing today for cosmetic procedures are going to go out of style but they will be stuck with it. Like the equivalent of 1980s basement walls that everyone had in my neighborhood that got torn down and updated years later. But it's permanent.
It can go both ways. Make up is fine because ots not normally too extreme but I've met people who never wear make up and have never had surgery etc and somehow they've managed to make it their entire personality
Fake b00bs, butt, face, eyelashes, fingernails are a no as a woman myself
I remember reading a sci-fi story years ago (Can't remember the author) where a man ends up in the future somehow (maybe cryosleep?) and every single person on Earth is physically perfect. Absolutely gorgeous/handsome, all tall, slim, fit, same skin colour, hair colour etc. while he was relatively short, a bit overweight and ugly. But because he was the "new thing" everyone started getting surgery to look like him. Copying the newest trend.
When their dating profile is a list of qualities they want in a man, but doesn't say anything about what they're like or what they bring to a relationship.
When their entire profile is "Just ask." No thank you. You couldn't be bothered to find one interesting thing to say about yourself, and that tells me all I need to know. Bye.
Tell us what you want. Nobody cares what you don't like. Act like it is real life. When you meet someone for the first time, do you rattle off a laundry list of negative turnoffs, or do you present yourself? It is the exact same thing by text. Present yourself in your profile please so we don't have to play 20 questions.
“My kids are my world”-I’d hope so. “If you cant handle me…”-you aren’t a zoo creature, handle yo damn self, “I am me”—great, who the heck are you though?!?!, “I want a man who…”—that’s just it, you WANT a man, you don’t need one. Change your attitude and try again later
Never really knew what to put in those. If a woman goes on about herself, she'll be considered self-absorbed. If she puts her preferences of what she likes, read the post. If she states her dislikes, she's deemed too negative/picky. Just be yourself. The whole profile thing is weird. No matter what you're not going to get a good sense of who someone is until you've met them. Having a ton of commonalities doesn't always mean a good match. You will want some difference of interests so you can balance out the relationship and your own life.
I've never used a dating app, but I feel like you should be restricting it to the *key* points not every little detail. Maybe listing 3 or 4 of the most salient points about yourself, and a similar number (or less) that you're looking for. That gives a point to start from without being overly restrictive. If I was looking at some of those two page long lists of demands you see in the "hilarious dating profiles" articles I'd be super put-off. There's no way you could possibly match all of them.
Load More Replies...Think about it in reverse. What if they listed things about themselves, someone likes their interests but does not match the girl's desired qualities and responds "I know I am not what you are looking for BUT I loved your profile..." You can narrow your search for a car, house, etc. based on desired qualities why can't you do this with a SO?
Baby voice outside of talking to a baby or animal.
Little girl or baby voice on an adult woman is cringy and irritating.
I agree - and I'm someone who has done it myself extensively, with my boyfriend. One of my major "fear responses" is "fawn", so when he lectures me/yells at me/is mad at me, I find myself replying in a high-pitched, cutesy voice - apparently out of the hope I'll be seen as non-threatening so he'll stop "attacking" me. I hate the fact that I do it and I hate myself for doing it (and I hate myself for not getting out of this relationship...) But agreed, it's still cringe and irritating for an adult woman to use the "childish voice" on anything except animals. Ironically, I talk to all four of my pets as if they were fully human... >_>
Load More Replies...UUUUghghh as a woman I cannot stress how annoying this is when I see it happening. I want to immediately crack a chair across her face. But honestly...she wouldn't get away with that sh!t if the guy wasn't eating it up and giving her what she wants. And that's when it's usually used-when she wants something. And she's giving us all a bad name.
YES! It’s so cringy whenever they say “🥺sowwy🥺” instead of “sorry”
When they always portray themselves as the victim and take zero responsibility.
The behavior of a 5 year old would be an improvement for a lot of people.
Load More Replies...Yep! I've lost friends over the years because of this behavior. I'm a woman but I'm not cosigning your BS. Own your mistakes and apologize...how hard can that be especially when it comes to hurting another person. 🙄
I'm a lesbian, so I hope I can wage in here.... Obsession of TikTok and Taylor Swift. Like I like Taylor, but paying thousand of euros for tickets and acting like a psycho when someone say anything bad...no...also that TikTok gf behavior, ex.expecting people to treat her like a queen, without her doing anything to deserve that.
Look I treat my gfs like queens, but they don't act entitled to it, they also deserve it.
I have never understood wanting to know about the personal lives of musicians. It reeks of a lack of personality or fantasizing in the obsessed fan.
I love Taylor and may even go so far as to consider myself a swiftie but I agree that some people go over the top. One person I know talks about almost nothing else, had major theories about the release dates of songs and what she meant in interviews. This girls entire life is based around Taylor swift and it can sometimes get annoying
Why treat anyone like a queen, unless they are the Queen? I don't even know how to treat Freddy Mercury.
Waiting weeks for buy a ticket in the street for Taylor swift.......(That happens in Barcelona)
I am sick and tired of hearing about Taylor Swift. I guess she sings, I don't know and I don't want to know. She's in the news way too much. I block her off in every way possible.
You know she gives millions to charities and stands up for women’s rights despite a threat in ticket sales, right. She is a billionaire who gives back and doesn’t advertise. I hate her music, but she’s an amazing person.
Yes but obsessing over her like I’ve seen some people do is weird at best and seriously disturbing in some cases. If someone is a good person people should have enough respect for them to give them some privacy instead of following that person around like a bunch of bloodhounds highlighting every single aspect of that person’s life and broadcasting it for the entire world to see.
Load More Replies...I like Taylor and consider myself a Swiftie because my daughter likes her. But dang, some of the die hard fans got nothing on QAnon and the FBI. Lol
I mean they're worse than QAnon and better than the FBI when it comes to deciphering clues. Lol
Load More Replies...
Caring more about their appearance on social media than their real life.
I am 75m. I Recently told my 77 year old brother that when I grow up I wanted to be a really good person. He laughed. We both try our best.
Load More Replies...If you go missing and you look like a Angelina Jolie online and a potato in real life no one is going to be able to find you because they're looking for the wrong thing. I was talking to a police officer I know he'd said you'd be surprised how many people hand in photos of a missing family member and they have filters or edited the photo somehow
That first sentence gave me a good laugh, but I hadn't thought about how true this is. How terrifying if family members only have access to a missing family member's social media photos (because they don't have the missing person's phone) and can only use massively filtered photos for missing-person stuff :( I guess I'm fortunate that my family could just say "look for the potato with Cousin Itt's hair" XD hair2-65fb...8473d9.jpg
how do these people get so many followers? How do so many people find them and their presence online. I do not understand how that happens
I’m out of quips. F u. Why do you care so much about how she does herself up?
Isn't there "appearance" on social media probably assisted by filters?
For some women all they've got going for them is their look cuz their personality is trash...leave them where they're at cuz their ego and needs will always come first. This is what I tell my boys and my daughter to be more intouch with who she is as a person.....looks fade
Demanding emotional vulnerability and using it as a weapon after the guy's opened up. One of the worst betrayals someone can pull on a man, and if I'm talking to a woman who casually mentions a previous bf/lover and talks s**t about his vulnerabilities behind his back in conversation? I'm out, you can handle the check.
Women say they want a man to be vulnerable, but all too often they see it as weakness.
Seriously who are these women making things harder for the rest of us?! There are a lot of scummy women out there... find the decent ones who don't feel that way.
Load More Replies...My husband has been more open to me than anyone. No way in hell I would betray that trust! Also had that done to me before so I know how much of a gut punch it is.
When women say they want a sensitive man, what many mean is they want a man to be sensitive to HER feelings. They don’t really give a s**t how in touch he is with his own.
Well, that is a bit of a generalisation. Some of us really DO want a man who is in touch with his feelings and doesn't box everything up and put it on a shelf. To make a relationship work well, you have to support each other, deal with past hurts and lift each other up when you have bad days/weeks, etc. And no, it isn't always easy, it isn't all butterflies and romance, but it IS well worth the investment. I'm sorry that you have had such terrible experiences, and I hope both you and John find someone that loves you enough to take on your burdens as you take on theirs.
Load More Replies...That's what broke up my short relationship. Betrayal of the highest order. I hope I never see her again.
I was vulnerable with a girl in a relationship and told her about something that hurt me a lot in the past. She brought it up in an argument a month later and tried to weaponize my trauma against me. Now I don't bring up really personal stuff in relationships anymore.
Wow, that’s very cruel of her. I do hope you find someone you can talk about personal stuff with, everyone needs someone in their life that they can fully trust.
Load More Replies...There is a difference between sharing vulnerability and woundedness, some people use woundedness as a weapon to lure in empaths into a one way giving situation, where energy flows one way. Just be real.
If she’s hardcore religious or even remotely religious for that matter. I don’t want a woman who’s going to expect me to be some godly, spiritual leader of the house or relationship….
Fair enough. I'm religious but I don't think I'd want a partner who wasn't because it would make things more complicated if we believed different things. But each to their own
I've thought about it this way, too. I'm an atheist, and wouldn't want to date someone religious. I certainly wouldn't expect someone who's faith was very important to them to want to date me.
Load More Replies...Don't date any conservative American women then lol
Load More Replies...I have to agree on this one. I'm not looking for religious guidance. nor do I want or need any.
Hardcore religous people are so judgemental, I would not like to be around them. Judgemental people are a pain in the a$$
agreed. However; true "hard-core" Christians, would not judge at all.
Load More Replies...Belief in an unproven thing can be harmful, if someone learns that kind of thinking and applies it in other areas than religion.
I understand the hardcore religious but not the remote part. As long as she doesn’t force her religion on you it should be fine
I say live and let live. I am agnostic and would respect her beliefs as long as she doesn't proselytize.
Only has guy “friends”. Claims other women are “too much drama”. Coincidentally is always involved in drama and loves gossip. Always talks about “haters” and “fans”. Social media bio: “Keep lurking sis 💅💋✨🧿”.
I agree with most of it, except of "only guy friends". I have almost exclusively male friends and colleagues, because most of my hobbies are male-dominated (like, I only found 2 women interested in them in my area - one is my sister, the other one and I didn't "click"). I don't badmouth other women and/or think that I'm better than them, it's just that it's easier for mw to find male friends
Some women get tired of women, too. If you aren't a person who gossips, does brunch and speaks in a high octave really loudly, men are a welcome relief. Of course, most of them move on after getting a SO, but it's just really nice to be in a no b******t environment.
Well I’m fine if she has guy friends and my gf is fine if I have girl friends as long as you guys aren’t actually messing around with those friends (yesterday she had a problem with it but idk what happened there, normally she’s fine)
I mostly have guy friends. I don't think women are too much drama, most of my female friends have been so stupid when it comes to men that I lose respect for them (acting like Chelsea on Love is Blind) or they betray me somehow. But the rare find of a truly strong woman who is true to her sisters are the keepers. One of my best friends is young enough to be my daughter so it seems weird, but she's one of the strongest women I know and I have so much respect for her. Plus she's a ton of fun. A woman only wanting to be close to strong women with integrity doesn't make that woman a "pick me" girl. It makes her discerning.
I, too, get a long better with guys, just by experiencing so much backstabbing and fake friends of fellow girls. All this commraderie that girls claim to have for one another is all talk and surface friendly. I've had girls give me compliments while out. Invite me to sit at their table, in the same breath mentioning they don't want to see me sitting alone at the bar like a loser. But I could NEVER be their friend. If I try to continue to build a rapport they will stop being friendly. At my work I wanted to be nice and offer a lady a way to contact me. She insisted on giving me her snapchat number. It ended up being a fake one. She, then, started being passive aggressive. I also found out all the things she claimed to be dealing with a complete lie. The men I meet are usually straight-forward, don't mince words and I know pretty quick if they're interested in getting to know me more or stay acquaintances. I still have some friends of both sexes. Jealousy is an ugly fungal rot.
Based solely on my experience? Believes in astrology. Has untreated borderline personality disorder. Stays friends with people who have hurt them. Lack of social awareness.
Interestingly, BOTH of really obsessed with astrology/being a witch people I knew were later diagnosed with borderline. It's probably a coincidence though
Hi! If they're female or nonbinary they're quite likely to be autistic instead of borderline, statistically female and nonbinary people often get misdiagnosed with a personality disorder like borderline when they're in fact autistic. The fact that they're "really obsessed" also speaks for autistic special interests. If they are, I hope they get the support they deserve because treating autistic people with borderline treatment can do way more harm than good!
Load More Replies...Believing in astrology has nothing to do with untreated mental illness. What a stupid comment.
Wait. How can you fault someone for having untreated BPD? If it's untreated, doesn't that imply that the person probably doesn't know they have it?
This one sounds like he's diagnosing women with a serious MH condition. What aassive blind spot.
There is an "astrology" and Astrology. First I count this stupid abomination about having Sun in a star sign and believing in b******t and the latter, the serious one, which requires years to learn is insanely complicated and serious. No serious Astrologer will tell you such b******t you mentioned here. My astrology teacher was a mathematician and game theory master which graduated from MIT. Analysis of one' horoscope take about a week for me and it is at least a few hours meeting, so exhausting for me I need time off for a day after. But indeed proved to be very precise. I never saw any Pisces in my life lol. Because there is not a single person who has all planets in Pisces, in XII house for example. Everyone has a gazillion connections, and this is only the second they were born, and all of this is not true either. It constantly moves and connects with others and this is just a piece of all. And I am far from obsessing here. It is a tool. It can help.
Yes. And it interests many people, many who don't have MH problems lol. But it actually says very little about someone. However, someone with serious MH is a red flag, sorry. Been there, done and not doing it tomorrow.
Load More Replies...Inability to admit to and apologize for doing rude or s****y things. For example: "Hey, did you eat the food I made before bed? That was my breakfast. I told you I didn't have time to cook anything before work, now I'm gonna be late." "What makes you think that I ate it? Why are you assuming it was me?!?" "We're the only two people living here, and you asked me about it before I went to sleep." "Maybe you ate it and forgot!" "No, I didn't drink last night. We had no guests over. I passed out right after putting it away, and now it's gone. I'm less upset about you eating it than I am that you're not being honest." "FINE. EVERYTHINGS ALWAYS MY FAULT, YOU A*****E! I GUESS I WON'T EAT ANYTHING ANYMORE!" *storms away* I've been in this type of scenario more times than I can recall. Just admit what you did and apologize, I'll forget about it in an hour. Freaking out instead of being honest just leads me to eventually breaking off the relationship.
The only gaslighting that I find charming is the old school gaslights that they have from the turn of the century that line my town growing up in NJ. They actually have one old guy light them when they go out which is pretty cool
Load More Replies...Can’t believe you put yourself in that situation more than twice. Once understandable, twice, oh sh!t not again and never again!
I think this is what they call DARVO. Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. Huge red flag.
This post made me think of a very specific situation with an item in my fridge that was consumed and then they gaslit me trying to say I used it but just didn't remember. Words slightly different but basic scenario the same. Used up the thing (in this case a pint of half and half), put the empty container back in the fridge, tried to claim I was crazy, became angry and played the victim. == That person moved out about three years ago and NOTHING has "disappeared" since.
My hopefully soon to be ex gf does stuff like this constantly. She doesn't think it's wrong or gaslighting (because apparently only men are capable of it).
Yeah, she needs to go, and the sooner the better for your mental health (hers is her responsibility, NOT yours). Best of luck getting out ASAP.
Load More Replies...
Excessive vocal fry. Sounding like a Kardashian/Jenner is the opposite of attractive.
I never knew what that was until a couple of years ago on vacation I heard two American women talk like that. It sounded SO weird. Is that a thing in real life or just some wanna-be star thing?
I enjoy singing, and when I was a kid, my mom wanted me to be a Famous Actress™️ and put me through so many acting, dancing, and singing classes. So, I know the vocal-fry thing is common in certain singers - especially female ones - and I personally CANNOT STAND it when it's over-used/used in the entire song (though - I hate Amy Winehouse's singing voice too, though I acknowledge she had amazing, massive talent.) I had no idea that vocal fry was used as part of the everyday "speaking voice" nowadays for young American women - and I'm an American! XD I'm 42 so I don't have a lot of young friends, so I can't say I've noticed it myself.
Load More Replies...It's like when you have strep, but always. That kinda smoker's voice.
Load More Replies...While we are on the subject of vocalisation, for me it is the upward inflection at the end of every sentence. Aussie men will know what I mean
Even us Americans understand that reference...I watch a lot of Aussie Youtubers, and that upwards /question inflection at the end of sentences drives me batty.
Load More Replies...I'm female and have to agree with this one. So many podcasts are presented by women who do this and I can't bear to listen to them.
my voice sometimes sounds a bit deep and vocal-fry-ish, but it's natural. But I know plenty of people force it, and it does sound grating when they do that. I just hope my voice isn't grating when I slip into it naturally ;-; (it tends to happen when I'm more tired etc)
Oh no, per the comments below, sounds like I have this "vocal fry"- I had a severe bout of pneumonia a few years ago that affected my lungs so severely that it changed my speaking voice- I used to have a strong, clear voice and even a pretty good singing voice. Now I sound husky all the time. It comes out more if I've been speaking a lot, this soft, raspy voice. I talk all day long to my patients and by the end of the day my voice is shot. Now I'm wondering if I'm annoying the s**t out of people.
You may have nodules on your vocal cords, which can develop as a result of over using your voice, or tension in the neck area causing the voice to be strained. Happened to me when working a switchboard, and after laser surgery my voice was beautifully restored.
Load More Replies...To be fair, there is a part of your voice that you can't change. Like, you know, the natural sound.
Some rich people go to vocal coaches to change their natural speaking voice. Case in point, Ivanka Trump employed a vocal coach to "remake" her image. I think it's ridiculous but I'm just reporting the facts.
Load More Replies...I had never heard that term. After googling it, I now know something new! Honestly, I'm surprised I never noticed it before. Considering I've never watched the Kardashians before (and never will), maybe it's not that surprising.
Dr Geoff Lindsey (linguist) has a great video on vocal fry on YouTube. If you don't know what it is, or if you have some strong negative opinions, check it out. It's *really* interesting and challenges a lot of assumptions. It's almost half an hour though so pick a good time. https://youtu.be/Q0yL2GezneU?si=UoGFKLk0TIUgG2eb
Dr Lindsey also does a good job debunking this as a thing only women do, which seems relevant to this listicle's thesis ..
Load More Replies...
Tries to force beliefs, diets, etc onto others - i don’t give a damn what you believe in, what you will or won’t eat, whatever, but if you try to convince, guilt trip, etc your beliefs/systems onto me, or another person, i don’t trust that you’re a very good person.
I have a bunch of beliefs, values and been veggie for 20+ yrs and even I hate when people try and push s**t on others. These are my choices and I made them myself, you can't make them for others. I cook meat for my husband, I'll answer questions he has about my faith but always allow the topic to come up naturally and vice versa. You should never get together with someone with the intent to change them, choose them because they're right for you not because you can make them right for you.
20+ year vegetarian and my only comment when questioned is, "I understand why you eat meat, it tastes really good, I just choose not to." This is because they've been "cornered" before and had to defend their choice.
Load More Replies...Pushing diets leads to very awkward moments. If you think YOU need a diet then do it. Ask them once then stop. Pushing them into a diet is like saying “your not good enough”. I might have taken this to far but that’s how I feel.
To be fair, vegan isn't so much about dieting (loss of weight) as not killing animals for a lot of people. I honestly, think that if you're the sort of person who is vegan because you love animals then going out with a non vegan person is probably not going to work long term, because there will always be at least some underlying resentment.
Load More Replies...If you try to push your beliefs/religion on me, I will walk away. After telling you that I have had bad experiences with that c**p in the past, so have no care for it now.
I would not be anywhere near that polite! But I would tell them where they could go and what they could with their beliefs!
Load More Replies...
If they never initiate.
I don’t mean sex. I mean if the only time we talk or get together is if *I* make the first move.
I get enough of that with my friends, and I hate feeling like I gotta micromanage my relationships because I’ll just be left behind again if I let someone else take the lead.
I would want to initiate but there is only so much rejection you can take before you start retreating back into yourself. Now I think it's best if I don't put myself out there because I don't want to have to build myself back up yet again.
"there is only so much rejection you can take" - this is exactly the stress men go through when they initiate - asking someone out, asking for a dance, asking for a phone number. ..... A great way to initiate with less fear of rejection: "If you ask me out, I'll say Yes."
Load More Replies...What would you like to do today?............. I dunno, you choose............ Let's go to the wildlife park............... No, I'd rather go see a movie............. (Silent scream)
Hey at least they said they'd rather see a movie with minimal prompting. Could have just been "No, I don't feel like that" and you need to reel through twenty other options before hitting the magical "correct" one.
Load More Replies...If you have to initiate all the time, take a look at yourself and ask why.
The ones who think they need to cut down every other female they see. It's repulsive.
No, Karen. I didn't notice the top that woman was wearing until you pointed it out, but even now that I have, it's still not as tacky as the sewage you keep spewing from your mouth.
I'm confused. Does he mean he doesn't like Karen or he doesn't women criticising Karen?
He dislikes that "Karen" talks bad about other women
Load More Replies...It doesn't matter what it stems from - if the woman is an adult, she is responsible for her behavior, regardless of what may have caused/affected it in the past. It's not her FAULT she is insecure, but she is RESPONSIBLE for her behavior and to get help for herself if she is attacking other people because of it.
Load More Replies...Lightning fast diagnosis on that patient you've never observed or interviewed, doctor.
Load More Replies...Women that think it's cute to be a near non-functioning adult. My ex loved to rely on me/others for like everything, almost took pride in having no idea how to use public transport of find her way around.
"I'm a Jersey girl, I've never pumped my own gas and I never will." I live in NJ and have heard this hundreds of times, my mom is one of them. That's not something to brag about, you are incompetent and shouldn't be able to operate a motor vehicle if you can't fill it with gas.
I’m from Oregon. Just because we have people who do it for us doesn’t mean we don’t know how.
Load More Replies...I struggle to drive and my partner struggles to cook or keep track of time. All in all we complement each other. 🙂
Sounds like my marriage. I'm hopeless with anything mechanical, my husband can barely handle "heat and serve" or keeping track of paperwork. We fill in each other's weak spots, and call it teamwork.
Load More Replies...Thank goodness my husband doesn’t feel this way! I have bad anxiety anyway, but it goes to 11 if I have to drive somewhere I’ve never been before. So many times he’s driven me, or ridden with me, because I freaked out at the thought of navigating alone. Well, like they say, there’s a lid for every pot.
I don't think OP just meant it was restricted to relying on others for help when driving somewhere unfamiliar :) I think OP meant it for an umbrella of behaviors where the woman purposefully never TRIES to improve/become self-sufficient ("Oh, I could NEVER learn how to COOK!") and instead demands the people in their lives do everything for them as if they were a toddler incapable of doing anything/learning how to do things.
Load More Replies...My husband's exes where just like this. Confused the c**p out of him when he got with me and realised it's not normal behaviour and women can be self sufficient.
I have often been annoyed by female friends who told me, they had to wait for their husband or boyfriend to do something that they needed done, like putting a new bulb in their kitchen ceiling lamp. I cannot believe anyone can be unable to do it themselves, so I see it as a power trip to insist on him doing it. I have even experienced a woman saying no to my help with whatever needed done because they wanted him to do it.
It is not a US thing. It is at least also a thing in Denmark
Load More Replies...Ever watch a crime show and someone (usually, but not always a woman) says, "I lost it, I collapsed in the street." As if this is an appropriate reaction. It's not. Whatever the problem is you're just making it bigger and creating a distraction. Learn some self control.
Absolutely, I remember one of the AITA articles I read (maybe here) being about a girl whose car has problems and she just stops dead in the middle of traffic and sits and cries about it until someone comes and helps. She was upset because her boyfriend was mad at her for that behaviour. We should *all* be able to handle minor inconveniences and setbacks without reverting to toddler behaviour.
Load More Replies...
The silent treatment. It’s passive aggressive, manipulative, whack b******t.
I do this sometimes, but usually it’s so what comes out of my mouth is reasonable, and not a ticked off scream. Plus, if the person you’re mad at doesn’t f’ing listen when you tell them why, then it kind of becomes pointless to try to explain it.
I understand what you're saying and I kinda agree with it. But I think just starting the "silent treatement" with "I think we need a few minutes quiet to think on the matter" might be worthwhile.
Load More Replies...Ah, but someone staying silent could be trying to process how they feel and what they want to say vs. what they should say in their head before they say or do something that will make things worse. But it shouldn't last more than a few hours.
Absolutely this! If I don't go somewhere away from the situation and diffuse a little, awful things might happen. Sometimes even good people say soul damaging things if they aren't given time to let the adrenaline settle.
Load More Replies...My Mum did this, would just suddenly stop talking to me or acknowledging me for days, even when I was young. That's when I'd know things were serious.
My mom did this too, when I was a kid. If I talked back, she'd ignore me for days.
Load More Replies...I do this as self defense. Usually for peace and to fend off drama. To be by myself and get people off me. Im not sure how itr is manipulative. It is usually a last resort and usually irreversible. Once you reach the silent point that is pretty much it. It takes a lot to get to it. If you are not being heard and seen, even when you ask to sort things out, offer the time to, show up fro them are there for them and you are being treated like nothing, then it becomes nothing. It is a response to being silenced, imo, a consequence of it, not some manipulative action.
When a woman doesn’t hold herself to the same standard that she holds her man. Not to say that the roles and responsibilities of each party need to be exactly the same in any given relationship, but it’s the worst when a woman acts a certain way/has a certain attitude but gets upset when the man acts that way as well.
The mean mommy problem. Some women feel like they need to be your mom instead of your partner. But sometimes that's triggered by a guy acting like a child. Either way...it's horrible.
Look at the topic of this list again. Reading comprehension is a thing.
Load More Replies...I think women may be moreso lacking an experience that most males have. It's more common to run into a man who lives alone and individually pays his bills vs a woman, I think there should be more crossover in that regard. I think a lot of attitude problems would clear up real quick and priorities would come into play.
Rude and demeaning attitudes. Like aggressively rude or demeaning. That ends it for me.
Snarky comments and snide remarks about other people behind their backs. Always feeling superior to other people.
When they don’t know how to have a conversation unless it’s talking bad about someone.
I know these people! The ones that do that, not the people in the picture
I'm female and my mother does this. It gives ME the ick and I'm not a man. XD
No reciprocation of efforts.
u/AyybrahamLmaocoln:
If you don’t let me know in some way that you’re feeling me after I’ve made it clear I’m feeling you, then I stop pursuing. It happens a good amount, and a week later they’ll ask why I stopped trying to spend time with them.
We men are simple creatures. We don't like the "mind games" much. We like direct communication.
In my case, my BF loves mind games is talkative and social, I am the opposite.
Load More Replies...I understand his viewpoint, but both parties don't always progress at the same speed. You don't want to lead the other person on if you're not 'there' yet or unsure of your feelings. So he might be missing out on a genuine connection this way.
How is he supposed to know that you just aren't sure yet if you act like you're not interested? And please don't say he should pick up on some subtle clue, because most men just don't get those, no matter how hard we try.
Load More Replies...
If I'm the only one who can even start a text conversation, it just tells me I'm only there to be an ego boost. For example, I MUST be the one to say "good morning" first. If not, I'm met with silence, possibly for a few days, followed by a passive-aggressive message about me, "not being interested."
I'm in my late 40s. I broke up with my first girlfriend in grade 7 over this exact issue. (Phone calls, not texts, obviously) If you want to play immature foolish games, go find an immature fool.
My guy was twelve lol. Obviously they're going to be immature
Smoking. After seeing my mom die emaciated, unable to breathe, and unable to even go to the bathroom all because of emphysema caused by a lifetime of smoking... yeah, f**k that s**t.
For sure! You can be a 11/10 but as soon as I see you light up or stick an adult pacifier(e-cig/vape) in your mouth, you instantly drop to a 3. Sorry, not sorry.
Personally I also hate people who smoke pot a lot, too. My whole family were cig and pot smokers, and I just never got the appeal of either. I've smoked pot and it just didn't do anything for me. And if you want to once in a while, that's fine. But some people make smoking pot a huge part of their lives. They talk about it at length. They can't remember your birthday but they can tell you with the accuracy of a scientist exactly the PH level to grow pot and will tell you all about it. They also have dreams of having their own dispensary but never actually put any work it toward it and....it goes on and on. It's not relaxing thing. It's a fetish. It reminds me of the kids in high school who talked about drinking all the time because it made them feel grown up.
And drinking. Sorry, I hate the smell of alcohol and my grandfather died of liver failure due to alcoholism, so no, I do NOT want to go out for drinks. And I can't stand the smell of it on a person, either. Take your booze breath somewhere else.
Maybe for a ONS, but nothing beyond that. I could not smell that every single day. I quit almost a decade ago.
Emma Thompson once told GQ that the best taste in the world was kissing a man who just took a puff on a cigarette and a swallow of beer. I wholeheartedly agree with her.
A colleague of mine was seriously mad at me when I said the same thing. I get pneumonias, bronchitis, etc. when I'm near smokers. I know my limits. She was mad because I wouldn't even give the person a chance. It's really not them, it's me. I was married at the time but my decision still stands. I don't have friends who smoke either.
No hobbies (people who cannot amuse themself usually demand your full attention making you unable to practice your own hobbies).
Guys are like that too sometimes. Don't get me wrong, you have awesome hobbies. But if I told you I wasn't into them, don't get peeved later on when I don't want to do them and would rather do my own thing.
You missed the point. The point is that the person (the woman, in this case) HAS no hobbies and no way of amusing themselves and demands all of their significant other's time, thus not allowing THEM to enjoy THEIR hobbies. It has nothing to do with someone who is pushy about the hobbies they DO have. That's sucky too, but not the point of this particular post.
Load More Replies...The others who demand attention all the time are those in the entertainment industry. Actresses and vocalists expect everyone to be enamored and awed by them.
Attitude, entitlement.
We are all human, trying to make it through this life. You are no better than I am, and I am no better than you are. Don't give me attitude because you think you are entitled to something. Just go away
A lack of EQ or social awareness. The kind of person who is extremely inappropriate in public for example, or behaves in a way that has people staring at you (not in a good way).
This is in the same vein as women who chose to communicate the way they do because they enjoy the shock value of it. That sh!t got old in middle school. On adults it is just disgusting.
Lack of clear and effective communication. If you want/don't want something, make that excessively clear, no ambiguity at all. If it's a big thing and the other person isn't getting it, make sure you sit them down in a non-emotionally charged situation, warn them you're going to be talking about something serious, and then go over it with them until they get it. Source: my now ex wife wasn't communicative and now basically hates me because I didn't realise how upset she was about some stuff.
There to be a line in old TV shows when a woman was upset because a guy couldn't figure out the issue. The woman would say, "Well if you don't know, I'm certainly not going to tell you".
A perfect example of self-destructive behavior. Cut off your nose to spite my face. Moron.
Load More Replies...Body odors, bad breath, poor feminine hygiene. It's very hard to be attracted to someone when they smell like a dumpster.
On the opposite end, too much perfume. I prefer smelling the actual scent of the woman. Who wants to gag on chemicals?
Never tell a woman that you don't like the smell of her perfume. She may not be wearing any.
Load More Replies...I'll add ferret owner to this. I dated a woman who let hers run wild in her room. This meant EVERYTHING smelled like p!ss (what a ferret smells like, for those lucky enough to not be around them). EVERYTHING! Her hair, her clothes, her skin... *shudder*.
Just be sure it's a matter of that, and not the natural smells people have. had a BF who thought I smelled funny.... turns out that part is supposed to smell like that. I spent 20 years thinking it was bad until a doctor told me it was normal lol
Romantasizing/unable to move past their ex's, and refusing to stop messaging them because "they're really important to me".
There is a difference between not being over someone and just staying in touch. I've stayed in touch with several of my exes because we still friends. Doesn't mean I still want them as a partner. Actually sometimes it turns out being friends works out much better than being partners.
I think this is nuanced. Both my partner and I keep in touch with our exes and it’s ok. One time we even met up with my ex and my partner encouraged me to chat with him more since we haven’t seen each other in a long time. When I was with my ex we visited his ex-girlfriend who let us stay at her amazing house by the lake.
Jeez! Controlling much? I think you're the one with the big red flag. Don't tell me who I can and cannot message.
Have my upvote. Totally agree. My best friend is also my ex. We broke up 8 years ago after being partners for almost 10 years. People have difficulty to believe that you can still love someone and be great friends. Sometimes it's just not enough to be in a relationship but you value that person so much that you like to keep them in your life. A new love should not demand to cut people out of your life just because they feel threatened by it. It says more about the emotional maturity of a new love than it does about the exes being friends. Ofcourse without disregarding the feelings and insecurities of a new love. It takes care and understanding of both sides.
Load More Replies...I luckily never experienced this but it definitely would be a huge red flag!
If they have extreme political viewpoints.
You have to be with someone who has the same viewpoints as you if they feel strongly about it, or else the relationship isn't going to work. If you are both moderate and don't really care that's fine. If one person is moderate and the other is extreme, sometimes that can work but even that can have problems because the extreme person is always trying to convert you, like it's a cult. And if you're both extreme, you'd better believe the exact same things otherwise you're destined to explode. It's like Chris Rock says, if you're a crackhead, your girl needs to be a crackhead too or it ain't gonna work.
Yes, but there's a difference between "get out and vote for change" and "MAGA rulez lolololol" :-D
Load More Replies...Nah, as long as they are legit and logical viewpoints, "extreme" political viewpoints are just what future progressive viewpoints will be! Example: it was an "extreme" political viewpoint that slavery was bad back in 1820. Then 60 years later it wasn't. Another example: it was an "extreme" political viewpoint that a man could marry another man back in 1990. Left is best ✊️
I love redheads, like, lose the ability to think, and I met a woman at work, played it cool for a few weeks, didn’t want to creep in, we’re at work you know? So one morning we were both in early and she was eating at a table, I asked if I could sit too, she seemed delighted, yay. I’ve never spoken to her before. We start talking, she immediately tells me about her morning going poorly, I asked more about it. She didn’t pay for her train, got a fine for putting her feet on the chair on train she didn’t pay for. Well……I got a derection, in that 4-5 minutes of conversation, she went from being a beautiful woman, to a scumbag. Disrespectful behaviour towards others. My biggest ick.
Overly Jealous. Had a gf once who wouldn’t let it go how I “stared” at her roommate when she walked into the living room where we were hanging out with only a towel on her head after shower. Didnt get mad at the roommate, just was my fault for looking at someone the same way I always would when they walk in.
Her roommate walked out basically nude after showering? Most men would be staring, assuming she was at least reasonably attractive.
Hell I'd stare if she looked like the Elephant Man. It's just weird.
Load More Replies...I'd be looking out of shock. Who would do that with a guest present? Attention seeker?
Does this seem like a situation contrived by the girlfriend to "test" her boyfriend?
Arrogance and too much self love. The endless mirror selfies, overdoing make up, the RBF. When they immediately go to low blows (“he must have a small dickkk!”). The attitude, sense of entitlement, and condescending behavior.
Hint: If you look like you want to kill Batman it's without a doubt too much make up
I will get downvoted for this but, high levels of promiscuity is a major turn off for me.
I dont judge women for sleeping around a bit. Hell Ive done it. Now if they are doing it when they are supposed to be in a relationship with you thats different but if shes single and doing her thing let her be.
I guess my response would be to ask yourself why that bothers you so much, and then whatever that answer is, try and explore why that answer is something that matters to you. For a lot of men it's because they feel the woman is somehow 'used up' which is more of something that's been learned through religious or familial brainwashing as a form of controlling women that isn't based in reality. Wanting women who are virgins or who have had little to no partners speaks more to the insecurity or the man than any moral issues with the woman. And I don't say that to be combative with you- you have the right to feel however you want. But I always find this a strange and bazaar belief that men never expect from other men.
My husband and I went with less than 3 other people before us and we married one of them (we were both married before) and we thought that was enough. My youngest son married his one and only GF (together 17+ years now). My daughter went out with 4 guys until she found the one. Was really afraid of what our family would say. One of my friends said to her son: Think of all the other men that put their mouth where you put yours too. The germs are all mixed-up. I liked that a a lot.
Having enjoyable experiences versus "another notch on the bed post" :)
The word promiscuity is so suggestive of some kind of mysoginist sexism, being sexually active is the thing that is happening, that is all. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
It can be misogynistic, but it can also be personal preference. I don't want a wife that has had 100 one night stands, but I also didn't want to be friends with a guy in college who did the same thing. I'm not judging them, it's just not someone I want to be friends with or be intimate with.
Load More Replies...The purpose of sex is reproduction, not "pair bonding". Monogamy is a fairly modern invention, friend, and not every society/culture on the planet practices monogamy. Also, your "proof" is a scientific "journal" by a sociology professor who teaches at - get this - a CATHOLIC COLLEGE who also - surprise!! - extensively studies RELIGION. What a shock that he would conclude that virginity matters AT ALL in marriage - or that the number of a woman's sexual partners pre-marriage "affects" the length of the marriage. Only religious nuts think that a woman is devalued by premarital sex/coming into the marriage as a non-virgin.
Load More Replies...Expecting me to be like a parent and always take the lead. Can be exhausting. Want someone with their own drive and proactivity for what they want.
Expecting their man to be the best guy they've ever met, but getting hysterical when he is better than her.
Negativity (not all days are good, but people who complain about every detail even if their day would be considered amazing by most are a pain).
If someone you know is often in a bad mood that lasts all day in negativity, they may have bipolar disorder, or even a sleep disorder where they wake up already pissed off and grumpy because they did not get enough good sleep.
I know that if I am having a bad day, I let people know that I am having a bad day, and that if I come across as being annoyed, it is ME, not them, and apologize for being in a bad mood
Unable to put an proper sentence together, no critical thinking skills.
my first thought too... this guy is either a troll or a double standard
Load More Replies...To be fair, having to deal with dumb people can be exhausting - constantly having to be the voice of reason can wear out a relationship quite quick
Please be clean for THE LOVE OF GOD BE CLEAN.
Yeah, but not Level 4 containment clean. I like a little dirty . . . . And what's up with all the feet-phobia?
Alcohol…. Ruined a really good thing.
A lot of my icks have already been mentioned, but here's a couple I haven't seen yet: Using nothing but emojis to communicate over text. When I'm asking for date ideas, I'd like replies with words in them, not massive walls of emojis. Talking about nothing but work. Dated one girl who pretty much had no personality outside of her job. Every conversation was all about work, work, work. My brain is not wired that way, and I almost never talk about my job once I've clocked out. People like that are just exhausting. Lastly, Horse Girls. Horse Girls are insane. If she owns a horse, RUN.
Horse girls will always pick the horse over you. I am a horse girl. Run far and fast.
Interesting about horse girls. Equestrian sports are one of the few sports where women can compete equally with men. There's something else at play here, too. Most people, not just women, will take care of their animals whether it's a cat, a dog, or a horse, and make sure that animal is fed, watered and comfortable, before they attend to their own needs. Yeah, I can see where a few boneheads might be upset that they come second.
But I like horses, too! My late wife and I bonded over horses. I still miss my old appaloosa. My wife, too, of course.
oh my God why are women not allowed to have horses? I know a horse girl and she is the sweetest, kindest person you could ever meet
Girls who push you away and then expect to be chased. Huge ick and generally a red flag that signals you will be expected to do everything in the relationship. No partnership there. Also double standards. For example, it's okay for a woman to turn down her mans advances, but when he turns down hers then he's being insensitive or cruel. That one also reeks of manipulative behavior. Finally, have a job and be working towards some sort of career. You don't need college degree, but working a retail job with no future prospects aint gonna cut it.
I agree with your fist two things, but I'm a little torn about the last one. Not everyone has the same experience as you. Someone people haven't had the opportunities to advance in their careers and simply don't know what they want to do because they've been too busy paying the bills. I couldn't afford to take risks to try a new career or 'find myself' because I don't have someone's couch I could sleep on if it didn't work out. It's also a double-edged sword because you can work somewhere long enough to be making above minimum wage, but still not get paid well, but starting over might mean starting at the bottom again, or intern for nothing, and I couldn't afford that. I understand your feeling about someone working a dead end job forever, but if you can't switch without it being a boost in your pay, then it's really dangerous. And that scenario is pretty rare because unless it offers free paid training you can't afford to do it.
also working toward a career does not equal a happy life. Many times scraping by financially is way better than torturing yourself 80 hours a week (like some day I'll live my life). BUT if it's a crappy retail job with no aspiration for something better, yeah that's no good
Load More Replies...Political correctness for popularity.
They just say woke. Means the same thing in my opinion. It's a lazy person's excuse for why they don't have to change with the times.
Load More Replies...Obsessive behaviour.
I have some OCD (diagnosed) stuff I do, but it doesn't really affect the other people, so this needs some clarification. If something I do does affect others, I can see why they would not want to spend time with me. But most of my OCD behaviors are just me being me.
I assumed they meant obsessive like in the jealous sense.
Load More Replies...Complaining too much.
Its sad though you have a nice house etc.etc but you can’t enjoy that because the more you complain the less you enjoy just how lucky you are.
When I hear “You are too deep” or even worse “you think too much.”.
♫ When you're happy and you know it, overthink! ♫ When you're happy and you know it, overthink! ♫ When you're happy and you know it, give your brain a chance to blow it, when you're happy and you know it, overthink! ♫
Like, you know, how much thinking would be, like, you know, not be too much?
Thinking is fun, but sometimes, I'd like the bliss of being thick as a brick.
When they don't practice what they preach. Sure I might not be the nicest guy and seem prickly to some, but when it comes down to it people have said that I'm really easy to talk to and be around. Yet I need something to work with, and some women tend to double down and are not as accountable as they expect men to be. Some don't return the liberties and other things that they expect from men either. It's sort of hard to convey that the way I react to stuff like I mentioned here from women it's exactly how I would with other men. Some women just expect men to fix everything and act like any conflict between men and women is one sided af.
A red flag is somebody who primarily defines their personality off of another person. You do you.
I was just thinking about that but couldn't remember who said it.
Load More Replies...Went on a date once, I asked the girl "what kind of music do you listen to?" She replied "whatever is Top 40." Listening to artists who *happen* to be top 40 is one thing, but that response is basically "I listen to whatever everyone else is listening to" which is boring af at best, weird and disturbing at worst.
I'm not a music lover per se, I like alot of songs, in an eclectic kinda way aka. From classic, to pop to country to jazz to rock to hip hop ... but I'm not hard-core about any of it, so I might answer this way too. I'll listen to what is playing but it rarely owns me on an emotional level.
Sometimes songs are popular because they're good. Not everyone needs to have music be that deep. I'll listen to almost anything but I strongly prefer something that puts a wiggle in my jiggle and makes my butt go side to side. Toxic by Britney Spears is one of the best songs ever.
Dirty feet.
Weirdly - Butterfly tattoos.
Tattoos are a deal breaker for me. Can't deal with the pain associated with them and to what end?
Ok, this is it! This is the dumbest thing I've ever read on BP.
Load More Replies...Clinginess, “it’s giving x”, “we love a x”.
High body count, posts revealing pics on IG. Has snapchat, still talks to her ex, has a lot of guy “friends”.
anyone who uses the phrase, "body count" and is not talking about a serial killer, is a red flag for me.
None of these guys here is honest. Because if they were, they'd all say they wouldn't want an overweight woman.
The way that some girls/women end every sentence with a question mark is annoying?
And the cutesie spelling that doesn't makeeeeee senseeeee phonetically. You even see it on BP. Drives me nuts.
Load More Replies...Treating me like a backup option. I went out with a girl one time, it did not go great for various reasons. It was over when she told me her dream was to get a job in a certain field, but on the other side of the country from me. I had already told her, before we even went on that date, that I wasn't looking to move out of my general area, because my last long term relationship ended precisely because she took a job on the other side of the country. So it ended, I, gently, let her know I wasn't interested in a second date. We parted ways. Then a few weeks later she reaches out to me again, wanting a second date, because she couldn't get her dream job, and all the other guys she had gone out with were losers. I said no. Because she wasn't asking me out because she wanted ME, she was asking me out because she couldn't get what she really wanted and so she'd settle for me. At least until something better came along.
After one date, she doesn't know you enough to choose you over a job. Since you were in the "let's see where this goes" phase, backup option is legit. The "change your life to choose me" should only come much later, after deep feelings are established.
Load More Replies...Enforcing hypermasculinity. If I want to watch a RomCom, then let me. If I want to take a bubble bath, so what? Maybe my favorite color is Purple. You’re most likely going to get more fulfillment out of your relationship if you let men be who they are and not try to stick your social stereotypes on them. Insecurity and shame is what breeds insincerity and secrecy.
My ex-husband used to occasionally like to take a bath with a beer and some chocolate. More power to him, I thought. (I get the remote for an hour!)
Load More Replies...I’d say that’s typical for these types of lists. Barring the usual stray opinion that winds up grossly generalizing a gender, I think most folks just don’t want to be in a relationship with an AH.
Load More Replies...i dont get the jealousy thing my bestie who is a woman gets jealous if we are out together and there is a nice looking woman i dont know why she gets jealous we aren't a couple just friends makes no sense to me
Are you sure she doesn't have feelings for you? I've got male friends and I'd never get jealous of them looking at or speaking to another woman. If anything, I'd encourage him to go for it if they are both single. I think you and your bestie need to talk because that is weird behavior for someone who is just a friend.
Load More Replies...I have to say that all of these entries are repulsive behaviour. This is why some women don't have female friends. If one is lucky, one finds a stable, enjoyable friend.
The way that some girls/women end every sentence with a question mark is annoying?
And the cutesie spelling that doesn't makeeeeee senseeeee phonetically. You even see it on BP. Drives me nuts.
Load More Replies...Treating me like a backup option. I went out with a girl one time, it did not go great for various reasons. It was over when she told me her dream was to get a job in a certain field, but on the other side of the country from me. I had already told her, before we even went on that date, that I wasn't looking to move out of my general area, because my last long term relationship ended precisely because she took a job on the other side of the country. So it ended, I, gently, let her know I wasn't interested in a second date. We parted ways. Then a few weeks later she reaches out to me again, wanting a second date, because she couldn't get her dream job, and all the other guys she had gone out with were losers. I said no. Because she wasn't asking me out because she wanted ME, she was asking me out because she couldn't get what she really wanted and so she'd settle for me. At least until something better came along.
After one date, she doesn't know you enough to choose you over a job. Since you were in the "let's see where this goes" phase, backup option is legit. The "change your life to choose me" should only come much later, after deep feelings are established.
Load More Replies...Enforcing hypermasculinity. If I want to watch a RomCom, then let me. If I want to take a bubble bath, so what? Maybe my favorite color is Purple. You’re most likely going to get more fulfillment out of your relationship if you let men be who they are and not try to stick your social stereotypes on them. Insecurity and shame is what breeds insincerity and secrecy.
My ex-husband used to occasionally like to take a bath with a beer and some chocolate. More power to him, I thought. (I get the remote for an hour!)
Load More Replies...I’d say that’s typical for these types of lists. Barring the usual stray opinion that winds up grossly generalizing a gender, I think most folks just don’t want to be in a relationship with an AH.
Load More Replies...i dont get the jealousy thing my bestie who is a woman gets jealous if we are out together and there is a nice looking woman i dont know why she gets jealous we aren't a couple just friends makes no sense to me
Are you sure she doesn't have feelings for you? I've got male friends and I'd never get jealous of them looking at or speaking to another woman. If anything, I'd encourage him to go for it if they are both single. I think you and your bestie need to talk because that is weird behavior for someone who is just a friend.
Load More Replies...I have to say that all of these entries are repulsive behaviour. This is why some women don't have female friends. If one is lucky, one finds a stable, enjoyable friend.
