30 Hilarious Tweets About Married Life That Perfectly Sum Up Marriage (New Posts)
Marriage is a journey through incredible heights, really low valleys, and a whole bunch of ordinary in between.
But even though this union is one of the most complex relationships people can have, somehow spouses manage to find humor in nearly every aspect of it. What's even more impressive, they can do it with fewer than 280 characters.
So we at Bored Panda decided to acknowledge them in the most appropriate way and collected all of their funniest tweets about married life, trying to provide these observations with the attention they deserve. Trust me, they paint such a vivid picture, you'll get a kick out of everything even if you're single!
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In the near future, however, we might see less and less of these tweets since more U.S. adults are delaying marriage – or foregoing it altogether. Now, most Americans find cohabitation acceptable, even for couples who don't plan to get married, according to a Pew Research Center survey. But even so, most of them still think society is better off if couples in long-term relationships eventually get married.
The share of U.S. adults who are currently married has declined modestly in recent decades, from 58% in 1995 to 53%. Over the same period, the share of adults who are living with an unmarried partner has risen from 3% to 7%. While the second group remains far smaller if we compare the totals, the share of adults aged 18 to 44 who have ever lived with an unmarried partner (59%) has actually surpassed the share who has ever been married (50%).
Similar things have happened to me, however- the conversation just STOPS. you only get INTERNAL JOY, but JUSTIFIED JOY all the same.
As you might've guessed, young adults are particularly accepting of cohabitation – 78% of those ages 18 to 29 say it's perfectly OK for an unmarried couple to live together, even if they don't plan to tie the knot.
Still, even among those younger than 30, a substantial share (45%) say society is better off if couples who want to stay together long-term eventually get married. Roughly half of those ages 30 to 49 believe this to be true, as do majorities of those ages 50 and older.
And here I thought I was the only one who felt this way about a husband.
People's views about marriage and cohabitation are also linked to their religious beliefs. For example, three-quarters of Catholics (74%) and white Protestants who do not self-identify as born-again or evangelical (76%) say it's acceptable for an unmarried couple to live together. But only 47% of black Protestants and 35% of white evangelical Protestants share this view.
And while half or more across these groups believe society is better off if couples who want to stay together long-term eventually get married, white evangelicals are the most likely to say this (78%).
Among those who are not religiously affiliated, however, nine-in-ten say cohabitation is acceptable even if a couple doesn't plan to get married.
lol. yep. It often feels like every time I go into the kitchen the whole family follows me. I have started going in there, pretending to put things away and clean, waiting 'til the whole family joins me, then announcing that it looks like they all have everything under control and I take my leave. Works.
Both married and cohabiting adults cite love and companionship as major reasons why they decided to get together.
But about four-in-ten cohabiters also say finances and convenience were important factors in their decision. To be exact, 38% cite moving in with their partner made sense financially and 37% say it simply fit their life. In contrast, just 13% of married adults highlight finances and 10% point out convenience as major reasons why they made the commitment.
It's harder and harder to keep up with every other gay out there, but thank God for the annual conference and especially the directory of gays that they publish. Now when I'm on the phone with a relative who lives 3 states away and they say, I think the woman who repaired my HVAC unit was a lesbian, do you know her, I can say (thumbs through directory) oh yeah, that's Barb, great gal.
But it's also important to highlight that cohabitation is not necessarily replacing marriage. If anything, it's become sort of a testing ground, a way for people to make sure if they can live happily ever after.
66% of married adults who lived with their spouse before formalizing their union and were not yet engaged when they moved in together say they saw cohabitation as a step toward marriage when they first started living with their now-spouse.
Among cohabiting adults who were not engaged when they moved in with their partner, 44% say they saw living together as a step toward marriage.
About four-in-ten cohabiting adults who are not currently engaged (41%) say they want to get married someday. Of this group, 58% say they are very likely to marry their current partner, while 27% say this is somewhat likely and 14% say it’s not too or not at all likely that they will marry their partner. About a quarter of non-engaged cohabiters (24%) say they don’t want to get married, and 35% aren’t sure.
I can soooo relate! Our dog has hundreds of sweet nicknames (okay, I was the one who made them all up), and my husband is always calling our dog by those names, but has never come up with one for me. He’s really bad at coming up with them, while it is my one true talent in life.
When we boil everything down to the vital question, only a relatively small share of U.S. adults say being married is essential for a man (16%) or a woman (17%) to live a fulfilling life.
However, when asked more generally about the importance of being in a committed romantic relationship, 26% say it's a must for a man to be happy, compared to 30% who believe it's crucial to women.
For more painfully hilarious tweets about marriage, check out Bored Panda's earlier publications here, here, and here.
Well, we sort of did. Both my parents are dead and my only sister as well. Have no other relatives. So he didn't have to marry any of them (but my kids from a previous marriage lives with us every other week). His family lives on the other side of the globe and I've never met them. It's sad sometimes but sometimes very peaceful, yes.
I do that with my wife, she gets the last piece of anything that I eat that I know she likes.
It might be funny at the moment you do it. But when the wife sees this your perspective will change very quickly
Reminds me of my parents. My mother painted the main corridor a completely different colour while my father was out at work, it took him a week to notice.
No. You do *not* get away with not inviting her to join you on something that cool.
Every "I was thinking of you" random tiny little surprise is a vow renewal.
What's up with that, and also the moving furniture around every year?
My husband recently gave me a serious talk about how now that he's semi retired we need to be more conservative concerning unnecessary purchases. A week later he bought a state of the art hunting item that can only be used 6 days of the year...smh
ESPECIALLY with children! It becomes a competition at 3:00am in the morning when your kid starts crying and you have to decide who gets up...
Some need to get a bit high on life - it's in their personality as thrill seekers. Otherwise they feel like life has lost its meaning. Some go bungyjumping or sky diving and some find other hobbies or work that give them that rush mentally. Could be something creative. OR they turn to drugs or alcohol... I would totally recommend the puzzle instead.
Pretty much. Read some facts that married people have sex once a week in general and lots of people in the comments went "once a week? I'm never getting married!!" and I thought "once a week? That's ambitious and lucky!"
Love is offering the last chocolate in the box, even when you know it's a salted caramel. Marriage is knowing not to take that last precious salted caramel.
Marriage is offering the last chocolate knowing full well its one your spouse doesn't like so they don't take it and you get to have it.
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Honestly, after 13 years (9 year married) I recently started to "collect" my husband's lame exuses and started to using them against him if he complains about what I have or haven't done or said. I'll go directly to hell but it's hilarious
Love is offering the last chocolate in the box, even when you know it's a salted caramel. Marriage is knowing not to take that last precious salted caramel.
Marriage is offering the last chocolate knowing full well its one your spouse doesn't like so they don't take it and you get to have it.
Load More Replies... Honestly, after 13 years (9 year married) I recently started to "collect" my husband's lame exuses and started to using them against him if he complains about what I have or haven't done or said. I'll go directly to hell but it's hilarious
