The Internet Weighs In Whether Guy Was A Jerk To Ask Brother And His Pregnant Wife To Move Out
Purchasing your first home is a huge accomplishment. Whether this milestone comes at age 25 or 45, it’s extremely exciting to have a place to yourself where no one else gets to dictate what color you paint the walls or how many nails are allowed in each wall.
So when one man finally purchased his own house, he was happy to let his brother and sister-in-law stay with him temporarily. But now that they have a little one on the way, he’s decided it’s time for them to find a new place to live. Below, you’ll find the full story that was recently shared on Reddit, as well as some of the opinions readers had on the situation.
After purchasing his first home, this man was happy to let his brother and sister-in-law crash with him for a while
Image credits: Microstock_Growth (not the actual photo)
But now that the couple has a baby on the way, he’s decided that he doesn’t want any children running around his house
Image credits: voronaman111 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: J1995916
Americans are purchasing their first homes later than ever before, as even paying rent can be out of reach
Purchasing a home has always been a huge milestone for adults, but in this day and age, it’s becoming even more impressive. The average age to buy a first house has jumped up to 36 in the United States, the oldest ever on record, CBS News reports. In 2022, baby boomers accounted for 39% of home buyers, while millennials only made up 28%.
Meanwhile, even being able to afford renting an apartment or property has become increasingly challenging. Forbes reports that the average price of rent across the United States at the moment is $1,372 a month, but it can be much higher in more expensive areas.
Hawaii is the state with the highest rent prices, with the average monthly rent coming out to a whopping $2,418. But California, the District of Columbia, New Jersey and Massachusetts aren’t too far behind, all coming in with average monthly rent prices over $1,800. So it’s completely understandable for couples like the one in this story to want to save money anywhere they can.
Living with a newborn is a huge adjustment
Having a newborn baby as a roommate is a bit different from living with two other adults. They cry, they spit up, they produce impressive amounts of dirty diapers, and they require their parents to be up during all hours of the night. While it would not necessarily be the homeowner’s responsibility to help with his niece or nephew, it’s likely that he will be woken up by crying more than a few times.
He might also have to deal with dirty diapers in his trash bins and cranky roommates who haven’t slept all night. He may be unable to play music in his home or make noise while the baby is sleeping, and he might feel less comfortable coming home late if he knows he might wake up the child.
Living with a newborn takes a lot of adjusting, even if you’re not actually a parent. But every family is different, and not everyone has the opportunity to purchase a home before having children. Especially considering the fact that raising a child, from birth through age 17, costs about $233,610 nowadays. And depending on where you live, your little ones could cost you even more, as parents in cities tend to spend about 27% more per child than those in rural areas.
Turning family members into roommates isn’t always a good idea
If you have a sibling that you have a strong bond with, the idea of kicking them out of your home might sound ridiculous. But if you live alone and enjoy the serenity of not having children running around your space, you might empathize with the OP in this story.
According to Moving.com, some of the benefits of living with a sibling are having the opportunity to save money, nurturing your relationship with your brother or sister, knowing you’ll always have a roommate who will be there for you, and you’ll be able to share things with one another.
On the other hand, however, living with a sibling can sometimes lead to family drama, issues with having a lack of privacy, you might not be at the same maturity level, you might have different lifestyles or living habits, and money issues can sometimes pop up. Overall, it’s up to you and your sibling(s) to decide whether or not you’ll make good roommates.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing drama surrounding siblings living together, look no further than right here!
Many readers assured the man that he has the right to set boundaries in his home
However, some believed that the situation could have been handled better by all parties
"They don't want to pay $2000 a month on rent" ... buddy. Bro. You think anyone ever wants to spend 2000 on rent? Who cares if they "don't want to" that's life!! That's being an adult, and a parent. You don't mooch off of a younger sibling just because you "don't want" to pay rent.
I feel like they may not have been saving that $1600 a month rent break, and expecting 'having a family' to somehow shoehorn them into having some right to his home for the child blah blah. Don't get me wrong, I'm a parent myself, and I could never impose my child on someone like that (mind you I wouldn't ask to move into someone's home like that because I 'didn't want to' pay rent, only if it was dire need. And I would make a plan to save up and get out of their hair asap).
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LMAO. They fully expected to keep paying $400 and starting a family in a home that isn't even theirs. Who does that? (them, obviously)
Right?! What kind of an inconsiderate person TRIES to have a baby while currently sponging off family?
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So can't afford a house, but can afford a baby? Hmm saving $1600 a month by living off your brother? Wow they're special. Sounds like 2 entitled people added a 3rd to the mix but don't want to pay for any of it.
Everyone who replies ESH is welcome to let the family move on with them instead.
Op should have said something sooner instead of just springing it on them
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They should not have had the nerve to try for a family whilst living with you!!! That is so wrong
Tell the people who call you an AH that bro + SIL would LOVE to live with them + see how fast they backtrack. :) It's your house!
Families/friends that weigh in on things they really aren't a party to or their opinions asked are truly the biggest AHs
I bet that not one of the people saying he is wrong to ask them to leave is offering to open their homes to this couple and their child. They should put their money where their mouth is.
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The baby isn't even born and there's toys in the living room and in your spare/office room?? No. IMMEDIATELY tell them to put that stuff in THEIR room because you expect them out by the time the child is born. Let them live with their parents.
If I am married I would only live with my relatives If there is an emergency or no other option. If I would be expecting I would rent or buy my own place to live in as soon as possible. What about privacy for me and my family and the other inhabitants, what about kids roaming freely, what about not being a burden for someone?
Not an a*****e to tell them to move out. However timing makes him a lousy brother. Should have been a conversation while they were trying to conceive or early in pregnancy
Before they started trying for a kid! But can't change the past, kick the freeloaders out.
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Dude, you made it possible for them to save up a $20k downpayment! I hope they did that responsible thing.
I really do not understand. this is one of the many " we can't afford to live on our own ( or are too cheap to)" but we want and are trying for a BABY. WTF chuck! Get on your own 4 feet before you even THINK about bringing another mouth to feed into the picture.
The absolute audacity of people who think it's fine to continue trying to have a baby while mooching off of somebody else and then get offended that they don't want to deal with their kid. How can they be responsible for a child if they can't even be responsible for themselves? No doubt OP would have been the on-demand nanny.
Sounds to me like if they can afford 2k but aren't paying it they shluld have plenty saved for their own place. And 400 a month to "help out" is F***ing insulting. Really contribute or just admit you're a disgusting excuse for family trying to take advantage of a kind brother
This reminds me of the reddit post where OP had their own house, and their brother/sister and their family wanted OP to "give them" their house. I just have the feeling this is almost the same situation. One kid would likely become another, etc, and then it'll be "well we're a family you're on your own just give us your house"
Moving during pregnancy is not an issue unless she is high risk. We had a home custom built and were there every night painting and staining to get a discount on the price. My doctor said I'd be in great shape for pushing with all the squats while painting! We moved in 3 weeks before the baby was born, and I did a bunch of packing, but no lifting. Women are not made of glass when pregnant.
I thought, that maybe OP didn't expect a pregnancy when they moved in, because they had been trying for it for a long time.
Every one of these tales have relatives saying, "You can't kick them out, they're family." But aren't willing to take them in.
They probably shouldn't be having a kid if they can't afford rent. That said, OP kicking them out right before they have the baby is bad. I would have given a time frame or, 'ok you can stay for said amount of months but you need to find your place' What if there was issues with the pregnancy, or a bad delivery and the wife needs to rest. No one needs that stress.
They are trying to conceive a child and don't even have a place to stay beforehand? I understand accidents, I'm one myself, but planning this and expecting to be welcome at brother's house, not only, or rather not at all, due to emergency and nowhere else to go, but to safe money? They are miles beyond rude in a world of inches!
Reading the ESH comments and I wonder why he bothered with a house when he should have purchased a time machine... "Why did you leave it so late to tell them?" Surely this should be "Why did THEY leave it late to find a permanent solution?" Once again, the REASON why there is a problem/issue is being overlooked by the so called 'bad' solution.
My father always taught me to never accept anything from family without paying for it and to bill them for anything they get from you. This sets boundary's that everyone can understand.
ESH. The fact that he wants them out is perfectly reasonable. Waiting until they're nearly having the child to speak up is where he's an AH. The Brother is as well. Having a child while staying with family but not bothering to check in whether adding yet another person to that household is okay is insane. But then this family seems to have no issue taking advantage of each other and not bothering to talk to each other.
The OP has clearly been bullied And gaslit for an extended period. Telling him now that “We’ll, they’ve successfully bullied you for so long that it’s become your fault too,” is a helluva shout.
Load More Replies... If only… the brother and his wife… had the opportunity to save tens of thousands of pounds ofer the last year… to get their own place… rather than spend their time banging away in a bid to conceive a baby which they can’t afford… But sure, blame the OP instead.
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“you kinda set them up here” Yeah, how *dare* the OP let his brother and wife live in his home, extremely cheaply, for a year. If anything he owes them an apology. /sarcasm/
Load More Replies... "They don't want to pay $2000 a month on rent" ... buddy. Bro. You think anyone ever wants to spend 2000 on rent? Who cares if they "don't want to" that's life!! That's being an adult, and a parent. You don't mooch off of a younger sibling just because you "don't want" to pay rent.
I feel like they may not have been saving that $1600 a month rent break, and expecting 'having a family' to somehow shoehorn them into having some right to his home for the child blah blah. Don't get me wrong, I'm a parent myself, and I could never impose my child on someone like that (mind you I wouldn't ask to move into someone's home like that because I 'didn't want to' pay rent, only if it was dire need. And I would make a plan to save up and get out of their hair asap).
Load More Replies... LMAO. They fully expected to keep paying $400 and starting a family in a home that isn't even theirs. Who does that? (them, obviously)
Right?! What kind of an inconsiderate person TRIES to have a baby while currently sponging off family?
Load More Replies... So can't afford a house, but can afford a baby? Hmm saving $1600 a month by living off your brother? Wow they're special. Sounds like 2 entitled people added a 3rd to the mix but don't want to pay for any of it.
Everyone who replies ESH is welcome to let the family move on with them instead.
Op should have said something sooner instead of just springing it on them
Load More Replies... They should not have had the nerve to try for a family whilst living with you!!! That is so wrong
Tell the people who call you an AH that bro + SIL would LOVE to live with them + see how fast they backtrack. :) It's your house!
Families/friends that weigh in on things they really aren't a party to or their opinions asked are truly the biggest AHs
I bet that not one of the people saying he is wrong to ask them to leave is offering to open their homes to this couple and their child. They should put their money where their mouth is.
Load More Replies... The baby isn't even born and there's toys in the living room and in your spare/office room?? No. IMMEDIATELY tell them to put that stuff in THEIR room because you expect them out by the time the child is born. Let them live with their parents.
If I am married I would only live with my relatives If there is an emergency or no other option. If I would be expecting I would rent or buy my own place to live in as soon as possible. What about privacy for me and my family and the other inhabitants, what about kids roaming freely, what about not being a burden for someone?
Not an a*****e to tell them to move out. However timing makes him a lousy brother. Should have been a conversation while they were trying to conceive or early in pregnancy
Before they started trying for a kid! But can't change the past, kick the freeloaders out.
Load More Replies... Dude, you made it possible for them to save up a $20k downpayment! I hope they did that responsible thing.
I really do not understand. this is one of the many " we can't afford to live on our own ( or are too cheap to)" but we want and are trying for a BABY. WTF chuck! Get on your own 4 feet before you even THINK about bringing another mouth to feed into the picture.
The absolute audacity of people who think it's fine to continue trying to have a baby while mooching off of somebody else and then get offended that they don't want to deal with their kid. How can they be responsible for a child if they can't even be responsible for themselves? No doubt OP would have been the on-demand nanny.
Sounds to me like if they can afford 2k but aren't paying it they shluld have plenty saved for their own place. And 400 a month to "help out" is F***ing insulting. Really contribute or just admit you're a disgusting excuse for family trying to take advantage of a kind brother
This reminds me of the reddit post where OP had their own house, and their brother/sister and their family wanted OP to "give them" their house. I just have the feeling this is almost the same situation. One kid would likely become another, etc, and then it'll be "well we're a family you're on your own just give us your house"
Moving during pregnancy is not an issue unless she is high risk. We had a home custom built and were there every night painting and staining to get a discount on the price. My doctor said I'd be in great shape for pushing with all the squats while painting! We moved in 3 weeks before the baby was born, and I did a bunch of packing, but no lifting. Women are not made of glass when pregnant.
I thought, that maybe OP didn't expect a pregnancy when they moved in, because they had been trying for it for a long time.
Every one of these tales have relatives saying, "You can't kick them out, they're family." But aren't willing to take them in.
They probably shouldn't be having a kid if they can't afford rent. That said, OP kicking them out right before they have the baby is bad. I would have given a time frame or, 'ok you can stay for said amount of months but you need to find your place' What if there was issues with the pregnancy, or a bad delivery and the wife needs to rest. No one needs that stress.
They are trying to conceive a child and don't even have a place to stay beforehand? I understand accidents, I'm one myself, but planning this and expecting to be welcome at brother's house, not only, or rather not at all, due to emergency and nowhere else to go, but to safe money? They are miles beyond rude in a world of inches!
Reading the ESH comments and I wonder why he bothered with a house when he should have purchased a time machine... "Why did you leave it so late to tell them?" Surely this should be "Why did THEY leave it late to find a permanent solution?" Once again, the REASON why there is a problem/issue is being overlooked by the so called 'bad' solution.
My father always taught me to never accept anything from family without paying for it and to bill them for anything they get from you. This sets boundary's that everyone can understand.
ESH. The fact that he wants them out is perfectly reasonable. Waiting until they're nearly having the child to speak up is where he's an AH. The Brother is as well. Having a child while staying with family but not bothering to check in whether adding yet another person to that household is okay is insane. But then this family seems to have no issue taking advantage of each other and not bothering to talk to each other.
The OP has clearly been bullied And gaslit for an extended period. Telling him now that “We’ll, they’ve successfully bullied you for so long that it’s become your fault too,” is a helluva shout.
Load More Replies... If only… the brother and his wife… had the opportunity to save tens of thousands of pounds ofer the last year… to get their own place… rather than spend their time banging away in a bid to conceive a baby which they can’t afford… But sure, blame the OP instead.
Load More Replies... “you kinda set them up here” Yeah, how *dare* the OP let his brother and wife live in his home, extremely cheaply, for a year. If anything he owes them an apology. /sarcasm/
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