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Modern delivery services are a sort of marvel, allowing tens of thousands to get items from the comfort of their own homes. But this comes with the wildcard element of not being able to see what you get before it arrives on your doorstep. 

TikToker Lowmariam shared her frustration with a male Instacart shopper who made some pretty questionable substitutions. Soon, other netizens were all sharing their own tales of weird decisions, obvious mistakes, and unhinged shoppers. So get comfortable, perhaps order some snacks, and be sure to upvote your favorite stories. 

More info: TikTok


@lowmariam

dont make me angry

♬ original sound - Mariam
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    First and foremost, if you are a little confused by the terminology here, an Instacart shopper is simply a delivery person who is sent a list (made by the client) and picks up the items from a store. Obviously, what’s in stock will differ from what might be shown online, so the “shoppers” are often left to make judgment calls on replacements. 

    So while the idea of a “personal shopper” might sound luxurious, the reality, as shown in the TikTok clip above, is that you might end up getting what is more akin to a mystery box than your grocery list. And for some reason, male Instacart shoppers are notorious for making truly bizarre calls when some item isn’t available. 

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    #5

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

    lowmariam Report

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    If some of these examples don’t seem too horrible, just imagine how badly it might go if we introduce alcohol to the mix. In 27 states, as well as Washington D.C. and parts of Canada, Instacart users can order alcohol through the service. Given the leeway that the shoppers seem to have, one can see a simple, game night order of a few beers turning into a bottle of Tequila. 

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    Of course, Instacart isn’t exactly known for treating its workers particularly well, so perhaps they don’t really have any incentive to try too hard. In 2017, Instacart shoppers protested, alleging that on some days, their effective wage would be around $1 an hour. One doesn’t exactly have to be an economist to understand that this is not even on the same continent as a livable wage. 

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    #9

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

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    #10

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    TotallyNOTaFox
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think the extra fibre will solve the lactose problem at all

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    #11

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

    lowmariam Report

    Harley
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    C is for cookie that’s good enough for me. Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom.

    The company has also withheld tips, which it blamed on a software bug, and charged customers unexpected and unexplained service fees. So if you were paid below minimum wage and a company stole your tip, would you truly really take your time to find the perfect replacement for a kiwi, or would you grab another sour fruit and move on with your life? 

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    #14

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

    lowmariam Report

    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think I want to know the logic behind substituting tampons for tomatoes. Alliteration?

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    While many of us really started using delivery services during COVID-19 lockdowns, Instacart was already going strong (as far as corporate profits were concerned) well before that. Covid did push the company to hire around 300,000 more workers, as people, naturally, needed groceries, and often didn’t want to go out to get them. 

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    #16

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    Howl's sleeping castle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They showed me Scotch brite scrub as an alternative to sanitary pads

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    #17

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

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    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, obviously. A little taco meat, cheese, lettuce. Best granola bar you'll ever eat.

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    These days, Instacart does allow users to “book” grocery lists up to five days in advance, which, in theory, should help avoid cases where the shopper is making last-minute substitutions that throw an entire recipe out of whack. For example, cooking a risotto without the right kind of rice is a fool's errand. 

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    #19

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

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    KB
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Leonardo DaVinci used to draw the items on his shopping list because his servants couldn't read. Once again, he was ahead of his time

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    Personal shoppers of the past would often be employed by the store itself, which would most likely help when it comes to knowing what items are missing or not available. In fact, some boutique stores or more expensive locations won’t even charge you for a personal shopper, as you are already spending money at their establishment. 

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    #22

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

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    Patricia Smith
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He must have flunked counting in kindergarten and never recovered.

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    It seems that the best solution would be to use these services to bulk up on general items, perhaps to save oneself the hassle of carrying bag after bag up a flight of stairs, for example. But as many of the examples show, more often than not, certain recipes need very specific ingredients that can’t just be substituted. 

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    #24

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

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    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sure, I think my lamp will love listening to music while it's off work because it's not plugged in.

    #26

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

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    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If he thinks chow mein noodles and pork and beans are in any way similar, he's not going to get the halal connection.

    While one can use ground chicken for a hamburger, it will most definitely not be the sort of dinner the Instacart user intended when deciding on what to eat. A very competent chef can make a solid meal out of almost anything, but let’s face it, most of us don’t want to be acting out a personal episode of Masterchef after a long day of work, we have a plan that we want to stick to. 

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    #28

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

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    #29

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    However, this still doesn’t answer the question of why male Instacart shoppers in particular seem to create so much chaos. But, the plethora of examples not just from this video, but all over the internet show that getting a male Instacart shopper is the equivalent of thrifting or a garage sale, you never exactly know what you are going to get (or not get.) 

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    #31

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    third molar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "But thats blue...." how he probably thought

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    #34

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

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    zovjraar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ordered reesees ice cream and got aunt jemima frozen waffles. ordered a garlic bulb and got a WHOLE FREAKING CAKE. now i just click no substitutions.

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    #35

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    SalamanderPanda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once ordered dog food and they asked me if Frosties were a suitable replacement 🤪

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    #36

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Finger nail vs Wall Nail. English homonyms are fun aren't they folks?

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    #37

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

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    #38

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

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    Nice Beast Ludo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wtf.. you can buy a giant multipack of TP for that price

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    #40

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

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    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now, trying to find cupcakes in the bread aisle isn't completely out there. I'm guessing the store wasn't out of bread, that shopping trip.

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    #41

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    #42

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

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    Nice Beast Ludo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So you don't "ok" the price or total first? It's like a total free-for-all? Oh f**k that. Never.

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    #46

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    #47

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

    lowmariam Report

    Ichi as usual
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean garlic in fact is in the family of onions.

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    #49

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    Nice Beast Ludo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahaha the skull just made me laugh out loud

    #50

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

    lowmariam Report

    Clown fish
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey I got orange floor cleaner instead.

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    #51

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    #52

    Male-Instacart-Shopper-Fails

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    My “in my head” Voice
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, wrap them with prosciutto and tell everyone it's a new culinary trend.

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