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50 Of The Most Insane Revelations People Had In Therapy That They Felt Everyone Should Know About
Interview With Author
Therapy is an incredibly useful tool for people who need a little help sorting and working through their feelings and mental health. It offers guidance and can teach some of the most valuable life skills and lessons. And when a bit of advice changes your life, you just have to share it with others.
That’s exactly what these people did when therapist Emily Anderson, LLMSW, from Rise Wellness Collaborative, asked TikTok users their most insane revelations they had in therapy. Scroll down to find them below, and be sure to upvote those that made you realize some useful things.
While you're at it, don't forget to check out a conversation with therapist Emily, who started this discussion in the first place and kindly agreed to tell us more about it.
Image credits: feelingswithemily
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Ppl who are upset when you set boundaries were benefiting from you having none
RELATED:
#2
So much more than I thought stems from trauma. Even my values, for example, aren’t my own. They’re trauma responses. Like valuing stability, always making sure others feel seen/heard, always trying to not be bothersome, etc
Black Cat 5 months ago
I have so often wondered what I'd be like without the trauma, would I even be me?
Reemerger 5 months ago
I learned that this is also what can make unlearning trauma responses difficult. They feel a part of you, your personality. Just imagine the you without them. How much happier or lighter you could be.
Load More Replies...
#3
Being an empath means as a child you were put in a position to manage and be hyperaware of other emotions and that was never your job.
Therapist Emily Anderson, LLMSW, from Rise Wellness Collaborative, tells Bored Panda that what inspired her to ask such a question online was a mix of curiosity and admiration.
"As a therapist, I get to witness so many powerful moments in the room, the kind that stop people in their tracks and shift the way they see themselves or their lives. I thought, what would happen if we opened that question up to the internet? And the responses were incredible," she shares.
#4
Just because you have forgiven someone does not mean you owe them your time or a relationship. Forgiveness is for you, not anyone else.
Ge Po 5 months ago
Forgiving means, no longer craving retribution. It doesn't mean you forget what they did, it doesn't mean you have to like or trust them now, it doesn't mean it no longer hurts what they did. You just decide that it's not worth the energy and/or trouble trying to get them to pay or suffer (more) for what they have done. Rebuilding a relationship requires trust. Trust after betrayal can only come when it is clear that the perpetrator regrets what he/she did and tries to make up for it/apologize/change their way.
#5
My therapist likes to point out when my mother has joined the conversation.
Judy Reynolds 5 months ago
Took me a minute to realize your mother is living rent-free in your head. Good thing to know1!
#6
The more you think negatively the more your brain makes that your primary pathway. You’re conditioning yourself to think negatively. You have to PRACTICE positive thinking to form a new pathway.
Anderson says that many clients come to revelations during their sessions, mostly related to a deep sense of shame.
"Shame for not enjoying parenthood the way they thought they should, for disliking their job, for not wanting a relationship with a family member, or for struggling in ways they believe they "should" be able to handle," she says.
"As we start to gently unpack those experiences and reduce the secrecy that surrounds shame, clients begin to feel more free to make value-driven choices that feel true to them. There is no "right" way to feel. Emotions are signals, and when we meet them with curiosity instead of judgment, we learn so much about ourselves, our story, and the past that shaped us."
#7
You didn’t ask to be in this world. You are not obligated to have a relationship with your parents and don’t owe them anything if they didn’t do their job as a parent to make you feel loved.
Alexia 5 months ago
"But they sacrificed so much for you!..." "But they are your parents, they raised you and gave you food and shelter!" "Blood is thicker than water" etc. - yeah, sure. That's why I've been in therapy for several years, struggling with depression and anxiety, and swore to never marry or have a child - because of how "well" they did their job as parents.
#8
My therapist told me one time that I don’t always have to be the bigger person.
#9
My therapist told me that I should consider that people may want to be around me just because they actually like me and not because of what I could do for them.
She has come to some revelations during therapy, too, which she kindly agreed to share with us.
"One of the biggest for me was realizing how much of my life had been shaped by doing 'the responsible thing.' I chose a science degree in undergrad, not because I loved it, but because the job market felt stable. I got married young, had a child young, and eventually found myself feeling unfulfilled by choices that were practical but not truly aligned with what I wanted," Anderson shares.
"It was through therapy that I finally said out loud what I think I had always known deep down: I wanted to become a therapist. But that meant going back to school with a baby at home, and it felt incredibly daunting. With support, I was able to start making brave choices instead of just safe ones. Now I’m a therapist, and sometimes I honestly can’t believe I get to live this life I once only dreamed about."
#10
You can just leave the room/house/place when someone is yelling at you and won’t stop.
#11
If you struggle eating because you don't have energy to make a sandwich, you can just.. Eat the sandwich ingredients. Like a handful of lunch meat. A slice of cheese. You don't have to put it together.
#12
That I need to stop trying to make logic out of things that never came from a place of logic to begin with.
Bi.Felicia 5 months ago
Some of these are really hitting home with me. I need to try and implement this myself.
Anderson believes that the revelations she and others have had in therapy probably couldn't have been reached on their own.
"Therapy gave me a space I had found nowhere else. Being able to sit with someone trained to understand and support the complexities of my life allowed me to access insight I don’t think I could have unlocked on my own," she says.
#13
How about that chronic people pleasing is actually a form of manipulation.
Britt
People pleasing is just trying to control the emotions of others so you don't have to feel uncomfortable.
Michelle C 5 months ago
That’s partially true. The other thing I’ve noticed is that some people focus on people pleasing in order to protect themselves from rejection and abuse like they experienced when they were children, perhaps without even realizing it.
#14
Anytime you feel angry, it’s probably another emotion. Anger puts you in control and feels safe, but you’re likely sad, anxious, neglected, etc. anger just feels better.
#15
'Rest is productive' - with chronic illness it sounds so simple. But my therapist was pointing out that my trauma taught me that to receive any form of care/love I had to do something to earn it.
#16
I'm procrastinating not because I'm lazy but a perfectionist and don't take action because I could fail.
"That said, I deeply believe that healing doesn’t only happen in therapy. We both hurt and heal in relationships, and places of community, whether through friendship, support groups, or even spaces like TikTok, can also be incredibly powerful. Sometimes the right words or a shared experience at the right time can open something in us. Therapy simply offers a consistent and intentional space to do that work with someone who can walk alongside you," Anderson concludes.
#17
She did NOT hold my hand when telling me I have severe CPTSD and having to cook my own meals and take care of myself at 8 years old was not normal and was in fact ✨ neglect ✨
#18
Self-sabotage is a form of control.
#19
I don't need my parents to get better for me to get better, and their issues aren't mine to solve.
knegret3 5 months ago
Creating boundaries with your parents can be one of the most difficult things we as adults can undertake, but it's so incredibly important to do it anyway. But by doing so, we can start learning what it feels like to be an autonomous adult and not stand in the shadow of the people who should have been there for us but weren't.
#20
When my therapist told me that neglect wasn’t just parents not being around…and that I was clearly neglected as a child.
Little Bit 5 months ago
True. Your parents can be there in person 24/7 but can still neglect you emotionally and invalidate your feelings and opinions.
#21
"Is the situation a 'fire' or a 'picture of a fire'." Cus anxiety will tell you THEY'RE THE SAME DAMN THING.
knegret3 5 months ago
There's that old saying that if you want to feel shame, think about the past. If you want to feel fear, think about the future, because that's all anxiety really is... it's us thinking about the future and creating an imagined scenario that may or may not happen. It's not the think itself that causes the anxiety but our thoughts about it. Our brain can sometimes be our enemy. 😵
#22
Observe don't absorb.
#23
It’s ok to take the shortcut. Meal planning is too much today? Eat out. Don’t want to spend $$$. Taco Bell tastes good when no one is watching.
Deborah B 5 months ago
Have a food-is-too-hard go-to so you don't have to think. Carrot sticks and hummus is fine. You are allowed to just grab a sleeve of crackers and the peanut butter jar and dip crackers in PB. A piece of buttered toast with a slice of ham is good. Not everyone has the mental energy to do meal prep.
#24
The way others treat you or view you rarely ever has to do with you. It’s typically a reflection of their own hatred for themselves, life, their conditionings, trauma. Be free. Be you. 🖤👐🏼
Multa Nocte 5 months ago
I would watch this one and not take it to heart. Sometimes you ARE the a*****e and you need to look at the situation. The last thing a toxic person needs to hear is that all the problems in the world are due to someone else.
#25
Sometimes the feeling that you need to control everything is controlling you.
#26
The reason you have a hard time respecting men is because you’ve never had a man respect you.
HelyerT 5 months ago
I had zero respect for men. I’d treat them like they treat women, sleep with them , never call, etc. I had therapy. Met an amazing man. Was hard to actually be respectful than to be act respectful. I hate my father. I was punishing men for what he did. I’m very conscious now after therapy that they have feelings that are valid and to be treated kindly. Thank god for therapy. I messaged the ones I could find to apologise. I never got a reply. It’s ok. I hope they’re happy where they are.
#27
“They kept trying to put you in a box that you were never meant to fit in.” On how I always felt like I was “too much.”
Seabreeze 5 months ago
I feel like this with my personality. I spent 8 years straight out of high school in a very professional job. Because of this, I masked my personality SO much. "Professional jobs are no place for jokes, or actual personality."(No joke, what I was taught in that position) Now that Im out, and in a completely different field, I feel like I can be myself, loud, energetic, cracking jokes, just having a good time in general, but constantly go home and second guess how I acted. like "Was this too much, did I laugh too loud, should I have apologized for being me?" Its hard to find the balance.
#28
That sometimes if you meet someone and your mental health is worse around them it’s because you actually feel safe with them. (If they ain’t toxic obvi)
#29
Emotional regulation. Not everything needs a major reaction even though you are in Fight or flight mode.
#30
That it is actually selfish to not let people who want to help, help you.
Bi.Felicia 5 months ago
Well that depends on who wants to 'help' me and if that 'help' comes with any strings attached.
#31
Had been carrying a lot of guilt for years, and all she said was “it wasn’t in your control, you were a kid” with a very concerned facial expression…the guilt immediately went away.
#32
Sometimes you confuse intuition with intrusive thoughts.
#35
The anxiety you feel when someone’s angry at you is their energy and not your own and you don’t have to claim it.
#37
That I kept failing at things because it was subconscious self sabotage because it wasn’t actually what I wanted to be doing with my life.
#38
“Should” is, quite often, an agent of shame.
#40
Resentment is what you feel when someone crossed a boundary you never communicated with them.
Debby Keir 5 months ago (edited)
Some boundaries are universal and should not need stating. A child can't say my boundaries are no hitting or SA, but they too will feel resentful and scared.
#41
When you're trying to discern what’s real or true for you: “Anxiety screams, intuition whispers.”
#42
When overthinking a choice/decision just pick one and when you start doubting just say "I've made my choice and accept the consequences. All choices have consequences; I've decided with the least harmful ones to me."
#43
All of my anxiety stems from fear of getting in trouble or being called out, so childhood stuff, and it was pretty easy to let go of once I realized.
#44
Radical Acceptance changed my life.
emily_marie91
Remove your emotions/past ruminating/future anxiety about something that happened to you, and accept it as a fact and don't analyse why/how etc.
Sanne:
I'm a therapist and a client made a keychain for me with radical acceptance because she hated it at first but helped her the most. I love it!! (Both Radical acceptance and the keychain)
#45
Anger stems from fear. Now when I get angry I ask myself what about the situation scares me and it helps me better sort out of my feelings.
#46
Anxiety is grief. If I can say what am I sad about it pops the balloon of anxiety.
#48
I'm a human BEING. Not a human DOING.
Pink kitty 5 months ago
I think this from "The Simpsons". The episode where everyone ends up doing what they feel like and the ferris wheel breaks and rolls away because the guy who should have prevented that, didn't feel like doing his job
#49
What I thought was me coping well with my cptsd was actually intellectualizing and I talk a lot but not every about myself. I was an illusion and not a person to a lot of people, even me.
#50
“No reflecting after 9pm.”
Bi.Felicia 5 months ago
If I knew how to shut my adhd brain off, especially after 9pm, I probably wouldn't need as much therapy.
#51
Don’t believe everything you think.
#52
Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling.
#53
99% of our problems really do come from our parents and how we were raised.
Theora Fifty-five Johnson 5 months ago
A big part of that is genetics; and a lot of how they raised you is how they were raised.
#54
Everyone has sick thoughts, weird thoughts, disturbing thoughts and random thoughts. The human brain thinks tens of thousands of thoughts a day.
#55
When you feel shame about certain things, who is the one talking to you when you hear the shame in your head? I can bet it's not you who just created the shame around this thing.
#57
My mom's a narcissistic a**ser and I’ve been wasting my time for 34 of trying to impress her.
#58
My therapist said he was going to stop treatment until I moved out of the house with my ex because you cannot heal until you have peace in your home (he didn’t actually but it made me move out).
#59
My dad still sees me as the age of when my parents got divorced. He’s stuck in that trauma so he sees me as the same 13year old. I’m 26.
#60
Mine told me when you have that “I want to go home” feeling when you’re already home, it’s usually your subconscious wanting the comfort you had during infancy. Being swaddled, held, etc.
#61
Just recently I was upset that someone treated me badly and I said it sucked bc they knew those things would hurt me. The therapist goes, "They haven't thought about the way you feel in six months."
#62
‘What do you like to do?’ Drew a blank ‘okay, well what do you feel skilled at?’ Anything I could think of, I only engaged in for someone else's benefit.
#63
Choose ur thoughts like shoes. Cuz thoughts create emotions - emotions never come out of nowhere. You have the power to choose.
#64
There is no such thing as “NEGATIVE emotions”. ALL emotions are useful, because they help you realise how stuff influences you. You have the RIGHT to be angry, as long as you use this as information to deal with problems, instead of letting the anger control your actions.
#65
Perfectionists tend to judge others based on actions, but themselves based on intent. Giving themselves a pass because they ‘meant well’.
#66
That the only way to break generational trauma cycles is by refusing to live with secrets- the day I refused to do anything in life that I would be ashamed of the world knowing, I began to heal.
#68
That all of my self destructive behaviour is really anger at others I'm not allowing myself to feel.
#69
You can't rationalise OCD thoughts- hence why CBT won't work. The more you try to think through them, the more you feed the beast.
#70
That all the guilt I carry with me is misplaced, not mine to carry and not my shame to feel. Still working through that.
#71
I don’t have to tell everyone every mistake I make, most of them I can keep to myself.
#73
My therapist always reassured me that I'm doing enough and that i can live my life at my own pace. I don't have to be at the same point in life as my friends just because we‘re the same age. It's my life. I can do whatever I want.
#74
The reason why my mom overly smothers me despite not doing it to my other siblings isn't bc she thinks I'm incapable. It's bc she had postpartum depression and feels guilty.
#75
Having trust issues more than anything means you don’t trust yourself but you’re comfortable with disappointing yourself over others.
#76
That people have to actually sit with their feelings. Apologies are great but that doesn't mean they won't still be feeling angry for a bit.
#77
I have to constantly be achieving something in order to feel like my life is worth living or I’m stuck in limbo clueless. First gen immigrant daughter btw if anyone cares for the reason iykyk.
#79
My therapist called me deceptive. Not to be confused with manipulative. But, deceptive. I’ve never stopped thinking about it. Read me for filth.
#80
"You attract the emotionally unavailable because you too are, in many ways, emotionally unavailable". Those were fighting words.
#82
My therapist said “who’s the most judgmental person you know?” I said “my mother.” And she said frustratedly “NO!!! YOU!!” 😂😂😂
#83
That I label people as “forever” in my head so I act in a way that will make that outcome happen while neglecting my needs and not letting the relationship go it’s natural course.
#84
You have no inner monologue so without that distraction you access memories and thoughts faster so you get irrationally angry at how slow you think everyone else is moving, but they're not.
#85
That I am unable to make decisions on my own without getting the opinions of others first. Not sure it’s insane but I didn’t realize I was doing it til it was mentioned…😳
#87
“The things we don’t like about others, are the qualities we don’t like about ourselves.” This BLEW my mind.
#88
I thought most of my issues came from my sister having cancer as a kid. Turns out, if she hadn’t been sick, I would still feel this way, cause my parents were emotionally unavailable my whole life…
#89
ED is basically the patriarchy trying to keep women small.
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What do you think ?
Skywitness 5 months ago
My neighbor's daughter had therapy in her 20s. It revealed that her dad had m**ested her when she was 14 and stopped at 16. The mother confronted the POS father and he tried to blame the daughter. Divorce and pending incarceration for the dad. All 4 kids hate their father so much one has changed his name. I wish nothing but hardship for the offender.
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
I'm glad mom stepped in. How horrible for all of them.
Load More Replies... 
Rebecca Shave 5 months ago
Urgh! It makes me worry about my profession when I read stuff like this. Half of what’s been written makes the therapist feel better that they’re ‘helping’ and isn’t about the client at all…
Tommy DePaul 5 months ago
I don't agree. Work with a client on one idea per session and you've got a year of therapy with each client. Add guided imagery every 7-10 sessions. Your wait lists will always be filled. Flesh it out and publish a self help guide. With flash cards. Join the august company of John Bradshaw and Brene Brown. Get really wealthy.
Load More Replies...
sturmwesen 5 months ago
So here is one I think is usefull if you are overthinking, second guessing or panicing: she told me to have a conversation with myself where I am my best friend additionally to my self... in the sense that I vent to myself and answer myself as if it wasn't me venting but my best friend. example: me1: I googled and I am sure it's a deadly desease. me2: you can't do anything right now, so go to sleep and if you are still freaking out in 3 days make an appointment at your doctor. we got this and you are not alone
Mel in Georgia 5 months ago
That's really good! Be your own understanding best friend!
Load More Replies...
Paulina 5 months ago
My favorite is about conflict: ✨You don't have to play their game.✨ At the time it was about my parents getting angry with one of my decisions. Per usual, they were trying to guilt me into changing it, expected me to explain my logic to them & apologize for the fact they were upset. And my therapist said that I don't have to do any of that. It's deceptively simple 😅 What it means it's that my parents established a set of rules on how our conversation will work, and I was mindlessly following them - feeling guilty, trying to make them understand my choices, continuing to talk to them & try to resolve the issue. As a result I was feeling worse with every phone call. And that's because they set the rules that were never going to end up with me "winning"/feeling good - they were made specifically for them to get what they want. BUT! I never actually agreed to those rules! Once I saw the rules and realized the game was rigged, it also dawned on me that I don't have to play that game.
Paulina 5 months ago (edited)
So next time, I didn't waste my breath to explain myself to them or spent time trying to reason with them. I just said what my decision was and that it's not up for discussion. And I exited the game 🤷♀️ When they tried to guilt trip me some more (like: "your mother is crying because of you" or "you're a bad daughter because you're not respecting your parents"), I again refused to play their game by their rules, by saying that I don't appreciate them talking to me this way. Nothing about the initial decision that brought up the conflict, because I wasn't going to give them a chance to discuss its merits again. And I exited. They were furious, but I stood my ground. They threatened me with refusing financial aid (luckily I didn't need it), pouting, silent treatment... And I just didn't engage. Now I'm successfully using the "you don't have to play their game" with my parents and with every other situation, when I notice someone tries to manipulate me or simply uses arguments/tactics that set unequal balance in the conflict. I feel like now I have thicker skin and much, much more stable boundaries. Which in turn makes me get hurt less.
Load More Replies...
geezeronthehill 5 months ago
Never been in therapy. Something I could never afford. Looks like I'll go to my grave broken.
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
One thing I learned was "weeds will break through concrete" and yes, when the weeds broke through my concrete mind bricks, they came hard. So instead of dealing at the time, I had to relive those experiences and it took months for me to deal with that all over again. Came close to losing my s**t and even checked myself into a psych ward for a night - not recommended unless you want an eye opening experience of how you might actually be a bit better than you think. I recommend therapy but just know that you are going to have to go through the trauma again and this will affect you for a while.
zerofoxgiven 5 months ago (edited)
Not therapy, but... I'm 29 and I realized that I say sorry for everything only like a year ago when a friend pointed it out. It's a reflex because my mother was always angry at me for just... existing. I sneeze and I say sorry because my mother always gave me an angry side-eye everytime I sneezed or coughed. I can't laugh without immediately saying sorry. Even nowadays when me and my dad are watching TV and laughing at something funny, my mom bursts in and goes "why are you laughing???". I have to say sorry everytime I breathe heavily (which is pretty often since I had severe asthma my whole life) bc my mother would always point out that it's annoyingly loud.
zerofoxgiven 5 months ago (edited)
Saying sorry all the time kinda became a reflex for me and my sister. And I only realized it last year, when I was playing online with a few friends, I absent mindedly started humming a song and when I realised, I stopped immediately and said sorry. A new friend of only a few months asked "why do you always say sorry for having fun?" To which an old friend of 10+ years replied "that's 'cause her mom made her this way." And I was like 🤯 Apparently all my close friends who know my mom realized this, but this was the first time someone pointed it out loudly. I still have this sorry-reflex but now I become conscious about it right after saying it.
Load More Replies...
Robert Beveridge 5 months ago
Therapy's great. You get to yell at someone for an hour a week about the doofuses who annoy you and get advice in response. It's like the paid tier of BP!
Skywitness 5 months ago
My neighbor's daughter had therapy in her 20s. It revealed that her dad had m**ested her when she was 14 and stopped at 16. The mother confronted the POS father and he tried to blame the daughter. Divorce and pending incarceration for the dad. All 4 kids hate their father so much one has changed his name. I wish nothing but hardship for the offender.
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
I'm glad mom stepped in. How horrible for all of them.
Load More Replies... Rebecca Shave 5 months ago
Urgh! It makes me worry about my profession when I read stuff like this. Half of what’s been written makes the therapist feel better that they’re ‘helping’ and isn’t about the client at all…
Tommy DePaul 5 months ago
I don't agree. Work with a client on one idea per session and you've got a year of therapy with each client. Add guided imagery every 7-10 sessions. Your wait lists will always be filled. Flesh it out and publish a self help guide. With flash cards. Join the august company of John Bradshaw and Brene Brown. Get really wealthy.
Load More Replies... sturmwesen 5 months ago
So here is one I think is usefull if you are overthinking, second guessing or panicing: she told me to have a conversation with myself where I am my best friend additionally to my self... in the sense that I vent to myself and answer myself as if it wasn't me venting but my best friend. example: me1: I googled and I am sure it's a deadly desease. me2: you can't do anything right now, so go to sleep and if you are still freaking out in 3 days make an appointment at your doctor. we got this and you are not alone
Mel in Georgia 5 months ago
That's really good! Be your own understanding best friend!
Load More Replies... Paulina 5 months ago
My favorite is about conflict: ✨You don't have to play their game.✨ At the time it was about my parents getting angry with one of my decisions. Per usual, they were trying to guilt me into changing it, expected me to explain my logic to them & apologize for the fact they were upset. And my therapist said that I don't have to do any of that. It's deceptively simple 😅 What it means it's that my parents established a set of rules on how our conversation will work, and I was mindlessly following them - feeling guilty, trying to make them understand my choices, continuing to talk to them & try to resolve the issue. As a result I was feeling worse with every phone call. And that's because they set the rules that were never going to end up with me "winning"/feeling good - they were made specifically for them to get what they want. BUT! I never actually agreed to those rules! Once I saw the rules and realized the game was rigged, it also dawned on me that I don't have to play that game.
Paulina 5 months ago (edited)
So next time, I didn't waste my breath to explain myself to them or spent time trying to reason with them. I just said what my decision was and that it's not up for discussion. And I exited the game 🤷♀️ When they tried to guilt trip me some more (like: "your mother is crying because of you" or "you're a bad daughter because you're not respecting your parents"), I again refused to play their game by their rules, by saying that I don't appreciate them talking to me this way. Nothing about the initial decision that brought up the conflict, because I wasn't going to give them a chance to discuss its merits again. And I exited. They were furious, but I stood my ground. They threatened me with refusing financial aid (luckily I didn't need it), pouting, silent treatment... And I just didn't engage. Now I'm successfully using the "you don't have to play their game" with my parents and with every other situation, when I notice someone tries to manipulate me or simply uses arguments/tactics that set unequal balance in the conflict. I feel like now I have thicker skin and much, much more stable boundaries. Which in turn makes me get hurt less.
Load More Replies... geezeronthehill 5 months ago
Never been in therapy. Something I could never afford. Looks like I'll go to my grave broken.
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
One thing I learned was "weeds will break through concrete" and yes, when the weeds broke through my concrete mind bricks, they came hard. So instead of dealing at the time, I had to relive those experiences and it took months for me to deal with that all over again. Came close to losing my s**t and even checked myself into a psych ward for a night - not recommended unless you want an eye opening experience of how you might actually be a bit better than you think. I recommend therapy but just know that you are going to have to go through the trauma again and this will affect you for a while.
zerofoxgiven 5 months ago (edited)
Not therapy, but... I'm 29 and I realized that I say sorry for everything only like a year ago when a friend pointed it out. It's a reflex because my mother was always angry at me for just... existing. I sneeze and I say sorry because my mother always gave me an angry side-eye everytime I sneezed or coughed. I can't laugh without immediately saying sorry. Even nowadays when me and my dad are watching TV and laughing at something funny, my mom bursts in and goes "why are you laughing???". I have to say sorry everytime I breathe heavily (which is pretty often since I had severe asthma my whole life) bc my mother would always point out that it's annoyingly loud.
zerofoxgiven 5 months ago (edited)
Saying sorry all the time kinda became a reflex for me and my sister. And I only realized it last year, when I was playing online with a few friends, I absent mindedly started humming a song and when I realised, I stopped immediately and said sorry. A new friend of only a few months asked "why do you always say sorry for having fun?" To which an old friend of 10+ years replied "that's 'cause her mom made her this way." And I was like 🤯 Apparently all my close friends who know my mom realized this, but this was the first time someone pointed it out loudly. I still have this sorry-reflex but now I become conscious about it right after saying it.
Load More Replies... Robert Beveridge 5 months ago
Therapy's great. You get to yell at someone for an hour a week about the doofuses who annoy you and get advice in response. It's like the paid tier of BP!
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