Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Brutally Honest Parents Share What Would Happen If They Named Kids After The Reason They Had Them, And It’s Hilarious
Parents usually go through hell and high water when choosing a name for their child, so writer and mother Bunmi Laditan has suggested a simple method for handling this difficult task. "If we named kids after the reason we had them, it'd be like, 'Hey Marital Problems stop hitting Broken Condom I'm trying to put Hennessy down for a nap.'" Needless to say, it caught on, and the Internet responded accordingly.
From 'Groupon had a deal on bikini waxing' to 'Roommate went to Walmart,' kids with names like these wouldn't have to listen to embarrassing stories about how they were conceived; everything would be clear from the get-go. Scroll down to read what alternative names parents have for their kids and if you come up with any, feel free to share them in the comments!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Tamara Laney 8 years ago
As a "rhythm baby" (according to my Catholic parents) , "Bad Math" totally cracks me up!
RELATED:
#3
Pattie Kelly 8 years ago
Because you had too much tequila is why you named your baby "I would never get pregnant again".
#5
#8
Helen Burgess 8 years ago
i have a vegas baby, too, and i say the same thing! she was an on-purpose baby, which surprises a lot of people :)
#20
Rosemary Booth 8 years ago
My older sister is 11 months older than me, so this should probably be my name too!
#27
BearsKitten 8 years ago
I have an "Antibiotics on birth control" also. I'm guessing there are more than a few that share that moniker...lol
#33
Daryl's_Girl 8 years ago
My sister named her kids Savannah, Jaxon and Cheyenne. I asked her if those were the places the kids were recieved.
#35
Lisa Reed 8 years ago
My son was born in 96 and my husband was Airforce so we had Tricare (insurance). They paid for 99% of the hospital and doctor visits. My pregnancy was normal so there weren't any surprises. If it's the same cost as then and you're in the military- Have them BEFORE you get out!!
#40
Kristel Bijnen 8 years ago
Both sound tropical! A flower-tiara that has such an effect, must have had beautiful tropical flowers! Haha
#43
Karen Klinck 8 years ago
Given my age (I was born in '53) mine would be 'But He Said I'd Be Safe!'
#46
Kate Szymanski 8 years ago
Not sure about my older brothers, but my name would definitely be "Didn't Think We Still Had It In Us, But At Least There's A Girl Now"
#47
#51
#54
Troy Currie 7 years ago
"Monthly Missionary"?...What position is your Go-To and is that how you conceive "What do you mean twins"?
#55
#71
Jay Weigel 8 years ago
Mine would be Finally!, He Needs a Sibling, and Daddy's birthday Present.
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Wanda Queen 8 years ago
Mine would be "nooner" and "mama was an only child and wouldn't do that to nooner". I would be "abortion wasn't legal yet". *uncomfortable laugh* It's all good, though. ;)
Shari H 8 years ago
I'm pretty sure my nephews would be This Will Make Him Marry Me, and Tried To Solve Our Marital Problems. And my step-niece (the oldest) would be Let's Get High. Mine would be Only Exists in my Dreams Since IVF is So Expensive. My name would be Adopted, and my sister would be But I Thought I Was Infertile, and my brother would be Why Not?
Wanda Queen 8 years ago
Mine would be "nooner" and "mama was an only child and wouldn't do that to nooner". I would be "abortion wasn't legal yet". *uncomfortable laugh* It's all good, though. ;)
Shari H 8 years ago
I'm pretty sure my nephews would be This Will Make Him Marry Me, and Tried To Solve Our Marital Problems. And my step-niece (the oldest) would be Let's Get High. Mine would be Only Exists in my Dreams Since IVF is So Expensive. My name would be Adopted, and my sister would be But I Thought I Was Infertile, and my brother would be Why Not?
You May Like 50 Times Wikipedia Pages Cracked People Up So They Had To Share Them Online 106 Funny Wikipedia Edits Internet Vandals Snuck Into Wiki Articles 50 Times People Found Gems On Wikipedia That Were Too Funny Not To Share (New Pics)
Ingrida Jasiukevičiūtė
Justina Čiapaitė
Greta Jaruševičiūtė
Related on Bored Panda
