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There was one moment during the earlier (not early, but earlier) days of the internet where the symbol of sarcasm was Chandler Bing of Friends (1994–2004) fame. His iconic nervous fake laughter became the visual representation of the comedic concept—in fact, the page that does that is still around.
Since then, sarcasm has become commonplace on the internet, but, at the same time, there’s so much to discover in this genre of comedy that there is never enough of it. So, maybe this curated list brought to you by Scent of Sarcasm sates that appetite. For now.
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#1
D. Pitbull 2 years ago
Better idea... make it anywhere from 1 week to 2 years (keep it secret from them) ... and that uncertainty factor will REALLLY provide a close-to-real-life experience.
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Elaine Morinelli 2 years ago
This is a great idea! But the remark about republicans is because they vote against health care, child care, and minimum wage all the time
Cyndielouwhoo 2 years ago
And GOPers usually also vote against free lunch for school kids, meals on wheels; are always cutting things like food stamps while passing trillions in tax breaks for the rich (including themselves).
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Oerff On Tour 2 years ago
Totally switch places. CEO takes the position and pay and house of the lowest paid employee, LPE becomes CEO, including pay and house. 6 months? Might be too long, because former CEO has died of starvation. He'll be bankrupt by the end of his first week.
Rwby Couch 2 years ago
Why JUST Republicans? Isnt there bad people in the Democratic side too? Isn't there good and bad on BOTH sides? Why not make ALL of em do this reality show?
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bElLa sTairZz 2 years ago
i similar show used to exist, in hong kong i think, where they had to try wark their way back to the top. it wasc ancelled because everyone who did it said it was impossible
Liubliana Puh Calmet 2 years ago
Hahahaa of course they might have had EVERYTHING to start with, so trying to get it by them selfs from the bottom of course IMPOSSIBLE ....
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Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
Sounds a bit like the movie Trading Places, except the rich young guy had to survive on the streets rather than having any income
Ryan Winters 2 years ago (edited)
Make sure they're like a new employee so no benefits for the first ninty days
Sergio Bicerra 2 years ago
And after 6 months they'll write a book and a series made out of them and their struggles and end up 30% richer.
RELATED:
#2
ArodTheHorrible 2 years ago
Wait, you mean it is still a surprise even if you don't wait for the birth? Shocking!
Klondike Penguin 2 years ago
Exactly, and who the dump needs a party for it?
Load More Replies... James016 2 years ago
That was ours, then we told people if they asked if we knew what we were having.
Matt Du 2 years ago
Let me get my fireworks, streamers, confetti glitter bombs and I'll meet you there!
Lipstick Hippie 2 years ago
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks gender reveal parties are stupid and just a way for attention whores to have their ego stroked. Oh, and more gifts.
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
My favorite gender reveal party of all time was when people just found out at the birth for thousands of years.
ninjaTrashPandaBoom 2 years ago
Gender reveal parties are like office meetings...they really could just be an email (or text).
Jill Pulcifer 2 years ago
This is exactly like all three of my gender reveal parties, except it was just me in a doctors office and when I left I went to Taco Bell because I was pregnant.
#3
James016 2 years ago
Not just you, sometimes it's just right. Then it will be months before that happens again
Oerff On Tour 2 years ago
This is why I only make toast in a hotel buffet. Otherwise I would explode
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Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Ever since childhood, my favorite go-to comfort meal when I’m sick is hot tea with sugar and milk, and warm buttered toast where the butter melts into the bread. I’m 62 now, and whenever I know I’m coming down with a cold or the (normal) flu, I get my comfy pajamas on, get my tea and toast, and snuggle under a blanket on the couch to watch old movies—-of course, with two cats cuddled up close. Unfortunately, I can’t add my husband to the equation because I don’t want him to catch whatever I’m coming down with. Otherwise, I’d share my blanket and cuddle up with him, and the cats, to drink tea and eat buttered toast, while watching old movies together.
Duckie Measles 2 years ago
Sounds like a perfect day (minus the being sick part)
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Sergio Bicerra 2 years ago
Not in my country, we will give you temporal citizenship to adjust to our time zone, so serve yourself.
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Bouche, Audi, and Shyla, oh my! 2 years ago
Silly dog. Then you get all greasy eating it. I guess you could make your soft can-opener hold it for you. Just look cute. They're pushovers.
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Marie Dahme 2 years ago
What’s your favorite jam ? Mine is orange marmalade.
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DonnerDinnerParty 2 years ago
That happens to me with cinnamon toast! Butter that toasted slice up and sprinkle it with some cinnamon and sugar 🤤 I'll eat it three days straight then not have it again for a year. So odd
Salty Sasquatch 2 years ago
When I was single I would sometimes get myself an 'artisanal' loaf of bread and have that and cheese for dinner. The whole fricking loaf.
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Philly Bobcat 2 years ago
Buttered toast with grape jam and "dip eggs!" (over easy or sunny side up eggs). I could eat a loaf and a dozen eggs!
#4
ArodTheHorrible 2 years ago
Then you can ask those friends out to dinner your treat, but they can't come because of the kids!
Otto Katz 2 years ago
Better idea. Tell anyone who asks you that they have to put $5 into the baby jar. To help you 'afford a baby'. And then when the jar is full you spend it on whatever you want bc you don't have kids.
Joshua David 2 years ago
45 and no kids here. Unfathomable to other people. They ask whose going to take care of me when I can't? A good insurance policy is what.
Jackson 2 years ago
I know a lot of elderly people whose kids either cannot or will not help them.
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Grey Beard 2 years ago
My ex-wife couldn't have kids for medical reasons, so I get the intent of this, it gets really tiring constantly being asked. The relationship didn't last (nothing to do with the kids thing), I got remarried and now have kids. There is no amount of jars of money I would trade for hanging out with my daughters and marvelling at how awesome a couple of human beings they are.
Vera Diblikova 2 years ago
You need to save far more for someone who will change your Pampers in your old age.
Aiden Brough 2 years ago
Half reminds me of something that happened when I was younger. I bumped into an old school friend who I hadn't seen for a while and asked him about his girlfriend "Oh, we've split, but she's with someone else and they're expecting a baby!" Brilliant news we both concluded! And left it at that. A month or so went past and amazingly I happened to see my mate's ex. "Congrats! I hear you're expecting your first!" "No?" she said... "I've just put on some weight"... Nothing like a bad split up...
#5
Black Rabbit 2 years ago
I don’t understand the mockery of people who live with their parents. Some cultures have huge families all living together or very close by. It’s not for me, but I don’t think negatively of anyone who chooses this.
Rostit . 2 years ago
its pretty simple. It was started by real estate companies. All of our capitalism is influenced by the industries who will benefit from it.
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Duckie Measles 2 years ago
Just like TLC's No Scrubs song is no longer relatable. A guy that lives home with his mama and is hanging from the passenger's side of his best friend's ride is smart by saving money.
Dorothy Cloud 2 years ago
What's sadder is the fact that after the rent you have to buy food. That's when you start thinking............LOAN!!!
KR Garland 2 years ago
I live with my mom but I pay all bills & she buys groceries, only way either of us could survive.
Scent of Sarcasm is actually a candle-crafting venture based in the U.S. Its entire thing revolves around pouring and crafting sarcastic and heartfelt soy candles, each being big mood.
The assortment of candles revolves around feelings ramped up to 11 that we all feel like feeling sometimes, yet can’t really voice it because we live in a society. But, hey, we can channel that into a candle that will passive-aggressively fill our room with scents that are the opposite of violence—a contradictory approach to fuel the raging emotional wreck inside us all.
Feel like giving up? There’s a [Duck] This [Shirt] candle. Love someone beyond belief? Express your adoration in the form of bodily harm (and possible kleptomania). Need a candle for an occasion? All you get is one for birthdays so shut up and buy one for your promiscuous friends.
#6
Kerry Borthwick 2 years ago
All abuse I been though money wouldn't be able to fix 13 years after surviving him I still react like I'm still with him but my bf and kids help me keep going
Isaac Harvey 2 years ago
My tumor owes me a couple million. Plus almost a decade's worth of interest.
#7
Susie Elle 2 years ago
I'm going against the grain here and say that unless the people in said fanciest house are douches to begin with, there's no reason to do this when someone politely asks you to keep it down for one afternoon in the entire year because of a wedding. The fact that it's the fanciest house holds no relevance.
marcelo D. 2 years ago
considering they didn't even have the decency to actually talk to nay of the people, and just put letters in the mailboxes of everyone , they are douches by default
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Ba-Na-Na 2 years ago
Haha! That’s total entitlement! “Stop living please, our event is super-duper important”
madbakes 2 years ago
Replying to your reply... most people would forget if they weren't asked the day of
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Elaine Morinelli 2 years ago
I don't know. I think it was a valid request. It would only last as long as the ceremony so half an hour?
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
This is rude! You ruin someone's wedding just bc their house is nice?!
Teutonic Disaster 2 years ago
No, it's because they (the fanciest-house-owners) have the audacity to demand that everybody else caters to them and their ridiculous whims, but they don't even have the guts to ask their neighbors personally and instead just drop those s****y letters. I also wouldn't be surprised to learn that there's a backstory involving them and the lawnmowing neighbor. I once saw a post of a letter in a similar vein where the parents of a child with some kind of nutritional issue expected their neighbors to only hand out specific kind of treats on Halloween that would be ok to eat for their kid, but to ALL the kids.
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Paul Macdonell 2 years ago
Not a terrible request. Don't be a child.... Help out a neighbor on their special day.
James016 2 years ago
We had someone knock on our door last summer to let us know that they were having their son's bar mitzvah party in their garden so there would be noise and to pre apologise if we found it too loud. Turned out that as they lived in the next road along at the other end, we didn't here a thing.
Paul Macdonell 2 years ago
So is that really that a terrible thing to ask? One afternoon to help a neighbor celebrate a very special day? Who is the real Karen here ?
#8
Red Lotus 🪷 2 years ago (edited)
Agreed Laura. It's f*****g stupid of you to ruin someone else's happiness just because yours didn't work out. Edit: just re-read this and realised it sounds a bit agressive... So hear me out. Some people feel really happy when they get married because it's an important milestone for them, and if you disagree you can just stay silent. I know too many people who "casually" mention their own accomplishments or throw a damp blanket on the accomplishments. It ruins the other person's mood.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago (edited)
In that exact same vein, the girl could/should have kept silent about her upcoming nuptials, then. Why is SHE allowed to force her cheerful, happy attitude towards marriage onto people who might be suffering and miserable? If you’re going to say that damp blankets ruin a happy thing, then happy people do the same thing. You can’t have it be one-way. Just because some people feel happy that they’re getting married doesn’t mean that everyone wants to hear about it and have that cheerfulness forced upon them.
Load More Replies... Black Rabbit 2 years ago
Jaded and unwarranted pessimism. Be happy for your coworker or just be quiet. No need to be rude.
Justin Smith 2 years ago
Could make the case that the coworker was rude too. Just basically shouting out to the office you are getting married after one of your coworkers recently got divorced.
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lenka 2 years ago
lol. Most of the older women I know said something similar to me. "Dont do it", "that's dumb" and "god no" being variations of the same.
DarkViolet 2 years ago
Wow, what a lovely crowd. I take it that they weren't at your wedding.
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#9
I give up on society 2 years ago
Marrying is overrated, as long as you love your partner, care for them and be there for them. That's really all that matters in the end. Now if only I can convince my wife of these facts.
Little Johnny... 2 years ago
In my state, Oklahom;, if a couple is unmarried before the law. And either dies, the survivor gets no benefits. I know this because a couple of friends where Common law for 26 years. When he died,she had to come out of retirement. Because,she got nothing ,,no benefits at all. That is probably what your SO is thinking about..
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Black Rabbit 2 years ago
Dating for 7 years is unusually long to not have advanced the relationship to the next logical level. If you’re in a committed, closed relationship and you’re dating for more than 4 years, just get married already. You’re probably already living together and doing everything together at that long anyway unless you’re more traditional and/or religious.
Raphapablap 2 years ago
I've been together with my partner for 9 years and we have a kid together. Neither of us are interested in marriage.
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Dak Janiels 2 years ago
I worked for 18+ years to be an adult, and I'm still a child, but it actually worked out well, for me.
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Having studied medicine for 6 years I can say... one has probably not that much to do with the other
Robert Beveridge 2 years ago
I wonder how many times per session people request Doctor and the Medics
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
Most couples that date that long and get married, get divorced after a few years. They've basically had an "out" the whole time, so when that goes away for them, they can't always take it
#10
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
Buying coffee and not making your own too, tisk tisk.
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Ryan Winters 2 years ago
Just like all those people who decided to be born in impoverished countries what were they thinking???
Givemeabreak101 2 years ago
I was born with nothing and after 60= years I still have most of it.
pamela nichols 2 years ago
Oh , I hear you and sometimes I just want to rob a bank, but jail ,and I'm claustrophobic.
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
Whoever of us is older should have given the other a heads up while there was still time
The other side of the Scent of Sarcasm’s Instagram page is a collection of screenshots that perfectly encapsulate the 11 (probably) shades of sarcasm. The screen-grabs come from Twitter and feature random people’s thoughts and sarcastic remarks about modernity, society, relationships and everything else that truly matters.
It’s things like two people getting disconnected from a call and neither of them calling back (because who likes calling anyone these days?), having an ex randomly send you $200 as an apology for not working out, and, people’s fave, the baby jar (every time parents mention babies, put in a coin and then spend it on whatever).
You know, things people painfully relate to and can’t but resound the same sentiments.
#11
GhostlySnail (she/her) 2 years ago
I feel like perhaps this can also be a metaphor for many things larger than carpets on floors perhaps
Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago
My mother couldn't wait to have carpet installed. For one, her feet were always cold. Then, she was raised in a time when floors were scrubbed on their hands and knees. No mop ever touched her wood floors, and if the toddler fell on carpeted floor it was not going to be a trip to the pediatrician. Suddenly, wood floors (and laminate variations) are all the rage and must be had. That woman would do well to look in the rear view mirror and perhaps her questions would answer themselves.
ninjaTrashPandaBoom 2 years ago
Shhh...don't you remember from the last meeting? We let Boomers, Millenials and Z duke it out and then....did I just say that out loud?
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Spittnimage 2 years ago
I had hardwood floors in two houses I rented. In the winter it makes the house colder and my feet froze even with slippers on. I wound up putting big area rugs down.
Nitka Tsar 2 years ago
Floor heating. That‘s what we are installing. Only hardwood and tiles for our house
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Shea Fujishima 2 years ago
Worse still, there's LINOLEUM under my bedroom carpet on top of the hard wood! It's an abomination against nature!
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Oh hell yes. I've discovered the same thing during renovations on my place. There are five different carpets in the house plus three different types of lino flooring. And the master bedroom is just like you say, lino over hardwood with nasty carpet over that. I must admit, I am planning to cover over the wood again. But with proper tiles because I live in a hot country, I have dogs and it's easier to clean. I really don't understand layering carpet over tiles (especially vinyl/lino ones).
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Nancy Marine 2 years ago
There is so much truth in this one, I don't even know where to start.
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
Lol I believe the big hoops attitude is more or less feeling good and showing yourself off? I'm not sure..
Cookies 2 years ago
I think it's more of the I know I look good and don't F**k with me kinda attitude
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Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
And of course there is another significant advantage too. They go home afterwards
Red Lotus 🪷 2 years ago
Nope, as much as I love my Aunts and Uncles it doesn't come close to the love I have for my parents. It may seem like kids are more free or cheerful around them, but I think I can safely say the love for parents is different.
Little Johnny... 2 years ago
Don't unenerstan y u got bad arrow. Have good arow on little Johnny!
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I'M A SHOUTY MAN (they/he/she) 2 years ago
I don't want to have kids myself until I'm a lot older (40-50, I want to adopt/foster), but I can't wait until my friends and my sister starts having kids, because I will be everyone's titi! Everyone will be welcome at my place, I will babysit whenever I can, I will get them all the coolest presents, teach them instruments, teach them everything I know! I will help with homework, help with craft projects, make them things.
Dee Rutherford 2 years ago
Didn’t work out that way for me. My 2 nieces were given everything I could give them. Time, money gifts…. They grew up and turned their backs on me. B*tch*s
Biana Weatherford 2 years ago
Grandmothers? I get the added bonus of being able to squeeze the cheeks and say things like "Don't you go getting uppity Missy. I changed your diapers."
Ivy at Eve 2 years ago
You spoil them rotten for a day and then, when they become unmanageable, you just send rhem back... what do you mean, it sounds as if I'm speaking from experience?
#14
Matt Du 2 years ago
I want one of those low maintenance plants the type the pops into the kitchen and turns on the tap when its thirsty. And obviously while it's in there makes me a cuppa as well.
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
Mother-in-law tongue, aka snake plant. Put it in a dim room and give it a drink about once a month, and watch it thrive.
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TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
For real though. Climate controlled environment, all the sunshine you want, all the water you want, plant food. "Nah I'm just gonna go ahead and die thanks tho"
Dogcat vet (retired) 2 years ago
Actually the only plant I've killed in the last few years was the one I kept in the house...the ones outside that I water once or twice a week are taking over my condo porch. Home Depot said the plants want the airflow so they live outside and the dogs live inside. Seems fair to me.
Load More Replies... Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
There are low maintenance plants that are very hardy and survive regardless of how little watering they are given. They are called weeds
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Can't have plants, my black thumb (claw?) and my cats delusions of being herbivores have killed every plant so far
Nikole 2 years ago
One of my cats (I know which one…) killed all of my large air plants I thought I had properly secured in an enclosure. I still don’t know what he did with one of them, because unlike the others that were chewed and eaten to death, it was completely missing. Perhaps it escaped??
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Gen X Feral (try/me) 2 years ago (edited)
Yes! I'm going through plants hell! Basil, Oregano, Thyme, Marjoram, Monstera, Fuchsias, Hawaiian Spider Plant and some random fern and they're making me apey!!!! All with bespoke potting soils, just the right lighting per type and every last one of those f###kers keeps acting like they're on their death bed but Oregano and Basil. The Fuchsia just waved hi from they're shipping box and then went through a death scene worthy of Macbeth 😑
pamela nichols 2 years ago
I had a plant that was dying on me my daughter in law chucked in the turtles tank and now it's flourishing.
Dorothy Cloud 2 years ago (edited)
Just go out and dig up a weed put in a pot of dirt. I'll bet it would live!
#15
Diana Lucas 2 years ago
I feel you. Same with hearing someone is cleaning out and giving/throwing a bunch of usable items away. Sometimes I offer to donate it for them, which I do, but I look through it first... Would love to be able to not do that one day, if I win the lottery of course.
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RabidChild 2 years ago
I will never ever be wealthy enough to give up dumpster diving, it's my version of treasure hunting.
Spannermonkey 2 years ago
Nah. One day I hope to be wealthy enough to be able to take home every bit of cool furniture I see by the side of the road and spend all my time doing it up and giving it away. And lawn-mowers. I like lawn-mowers.
JustABored1 2 years ago
Maybe refinishing and selling that furniture is how you get wealthy enough?
I give up on society 2 years ago
Not me. I stop and look at name, brand and sometimes condition to see if I could sell it at flee market. So far I made bank over the years. Including a 5000 lane table.
Cheryl Ramsay 2 years ago
I never see abandoned furniture by the side of the road. Where does this happen?
Salty Sasquatch 2 years ago
You're probably living in a high-end neighborhood.
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Danish Susanne 2 years ago
My hope in that I can leave that furniture by the side of the road, if I don't like it, because I don't need it.
Speaking of sarcasm, writer and IT dude John Spacey discussed the 11 types of sarcasm in quite some detail. In general, sarcasm is a provocative statement that’s meant to make people crack up or to insult them. The most notable forms of sarcasm are irony and satire, but John also points out how things like banter, self-deprecation and passive aggression can have sprinkles of sarcasm in them.
Needless to say, sarcasm is good for you. Besides a healthy dose of everything that’s excreted by our bodies during laughing, research also suggests sarcasm boosts creativity and makes your brain work harder for a number of reasons.
The best part is that you can’t overdose on it because the only known side effect of it is becoming a cynical bastard, increasing the risks of self-alienation and a punch in the face by people who don’t understand the finer things in life.
#16
Red Lotus 🪷 2 years ago
They deliberately reduce the lifespan of electronic devices in order to ensure that they will get continuous sales.
Karen Krause 2 years ago
I think my mom got a new machine because the old one would "walk" around the room and she got tired of the mangle ripping off the buttons on shirts if they weren't loaded right. Not because it was broken, but old. I thought the machine was fantastic. 6ab85a88bb...c8034b.jpg 
Sue User 2 years ago
Yep. My old ( 17 years ) washer has 3 setting ( light medium heavy ) . You could start the heavy from 14 ,to 8 minutes ( dial ) .3 temps ( hot, warm cold ) all rinses are cold. And a third dial sets the water leveel. My new fancy one had the moter replaced after 7 years. No matter what you do, you cant override the water saver part, so everything gets a second rinse ( or it will have soap and lint residue) . If you pause a cycle ( with the pause button ) when you restart, it will empty all the water and end the cycle.
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howdylee 2 years ago
To be fair, boomers' appliances came in pretty colors too, like avocado green and harvest gold ;)
Sue User 2 years ago
The first dishwasher my family owned came with different colored panels so you could choose whichever color best matched your decor at the time.
Load More Replies... Verena 2 years ago (edited)
For sure your parents know the secret to prevent stinking: 1. Only use powder, 2. Clean rubbers, drawer and filter on a regular basis, 3. Do a hot wash now and then and top secret and pro-tip: 4. Leave the door open and the drawer so the whole thing can dry. 5. Buy quality, my Miele survived 5 movings and gave up after 25 years of heavy duty washing. TLC is key to saving money and resources.
Elladine DesIsles 2 years ago
I really have to learn to stop buying appliances because they come in pretty colours.. See my plum vacuum and aqua microwave. Oh wait, I have the teal vacuum now. Didn't learn.
Marie A (Blondebat) 2 years ago
'planned obsolescence'. Why make new appliances if the old ones last forever...
#17
Biana Weatherford 2 years ago
Me this morning: sing along to the alarm, shower, sit on the bed in my towel, pet the cat that just sat on me in my towel....call in sick.
Red PANda (she/they) 2 years ago
My morning routine: get woken up by the alarm productive me set for myself and snooze it 5 times until the alarm realistic me set with no snooze on it so I drag myself out of bed, throw some clothes on, eat breakfast, brush hair and go
PitbullmomAF 2 years ago
Close. I drink coffee and walk my dogs while questioning my existence
Jessi Lovely 2 years ago
The top one is kinda my morning routine except because of the adhd it takes all day, starts at 3am and there’s no job. Or dog, because I forget to feed myself and that would be just cruel.
Isaac Harvey 2 years ago
Mine: wake up, exist, ponder existence, get up, get dressed, take medicine, eat breakfast, brush teeth, exist while waiting. Get in car by 6:30.
#18
Matt Du 2 years ago
Looking at my notes, yep your an adult now, no it doesn't feel any different, sorry we lied. But you do get some debt, lots of responsibilities and it looks like you opted for the basic model which doesn't come with a manual unfortunately. And can you send in the next one on your way out, byeee
Black Rabbit 2 years ago
I know it’s meant to be a joke, but judging by the other comments, some people never grew up and learned how to be an adult. You can quit passing the blame on your parents, government, or anyone else because you have autonomy and can learn anything you want.
#19
Kurichfield 2 years ago
awesome coworkers...where are you guys now....*looks around*...not here apparently😥
Load More Replies... cerinamroth 2 years ago
Oh my god yes. This would be so fricking fabulous, I can't even imagine!
Biana Weatherford 2 years ago
"Don't worry, we will stay in touch"....lies. Nothing but cold cold lies.
#20
ArodTheHorrible 2 years ago
I had to work a long time to be this ugly and awkward, but thankfully I don't have any personality disorders
Jules 2 years ago (edited)
I had to be ugly and awkward cos who else would guard the purses when we go out...
Sally Close 2 years ago
If that is your face in the picture then there is nothing ugly about you
DJR 2 years ago
Beards are just push-up bras for men. Try to keep in mind that he had to go the first 12 years as a pre-pubescent ginger male, and another ten before getting the beard.
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cerinamroth 2 years ago
Amen! And I went through a lot of trauma to get my prematurely grey hair too so tease me for it at your peril!
#21
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Everyone was thinking 'Thank God it's over.' Or is that just my antisocial self speaking
#22
Ace 2 years ago
Yeah, one time my doctor asked if I was in pain at all and I said oh, you know, just the normal amount. Same reaction.
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
Yeah, filled out that new patient questionnaire, and it asked if I ever experience feelings of dread or despair. I answered "yeah but I'm used to it." Next thing I know, I've got a letter from my insurance denying my request for a mental health specialist. Like, I did not ask for one. Also, f**k you, Blue Shield.
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Carla Campbell 2 years ago
Doctor asked if I'd ever had suicidal thoughts. I said "doesn't everyone?" Wrong answer.
Thom Serveaux 2 years ago
My answer "yeah but it's weekly now instead of constant" wasn't as big of a win to my doctor as it was to me
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
My Doc is cool. She’d have a good laugh, then ask more clarifying questions pertaining to why I came to see her.
Nikole 2 years ago
This pains me because I just had an appointment with a specialist and right before the nurse took my BP I told her it was going to be high because I get horrible anxiety about being at the doctor. She just laughed and asked why, then cut me off as I was answering. Yeah so my BP was high and my pulse was 114! B***h.
#23
Matt Du 2 years ago
I hate that bit where your staring at the back of your eyelids, and your mind is saying "I'm not ready for tommorow" and all i can answer is "you mean today because you won't let me get any sleep"
#24
Bouche, Audi, and Shyla, oh my! 2 years ago
"Hey, that's mine!" "I'll buy you a pony."
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Maxwell Pearce 2 years ago
I disagree with @Greengrass, drink more; stay ahead of the curve. Remember, you can't be hungover if you're still drunk.
Oerff On Tour 2 years ago
Water, and plenty of it. Before you go to bed. And after you wake up.
lenka 2 years ago (edited)
Vitamin B BEFORE you go drinking. One glass of water for two drinks during the night and two glasses of water before you go to bed.
TotallyNOTaFox 2 years ago
Having the right genetics helps a lot, there are people that don't suffer from hangovers at all
RedMarbles 2 years ago
Yeah, between 3% and 23% of the population is reported to be hangover-resistant. A lot of people here are confidently declaring how to avoid or cure them, but it turns out to be a lot more complicated and what works for one person may not for someone else (as with so many things). "As alcohol affects so many systems in our bodies and brains, a hangover is equally complex so there are myriad possible ways to suffer." The science behind hangovers — and what to do when you get one | https://ideas.ted.com/the-science-behind-hangovers-and-what-to-do-when-you-get-one-david-nutt/
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Elaine Morinelli 2 years ago
I'm not sure if you ever watch mash they drank a lot and when they drank and helicopters, can't they gave each other shots of B vitamins, because that counteract the alcohol. So when I drink, which is not often and not a lot, I take B vitamins and a glass of water between each drink.
Gidget Girl 2 years ago
So you're taking medical advice from *checks notes* a 50 year old TV show?
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mooshoflove 2 years ago
It's been a while since I drank, but a few years back there were these packs of vitamins & supplements that you could take before drinking and you'd wake up just fine. They stopped selling them though ....
#25
ArodTheHorrible 2 years ago
"What do you want for dinner?" "How about [could be ANY restaurant]?" "Eh..."
Max Fox 2 years ago
You forgot the missle part: "where do you want to eat?", "I don't care", "What about [insert name here]?", "no, not there", and so forth until both are dead from starvation.
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Tabitha 2 years ago
I think we're like this because when we've picked something, the dude wouldn't want that thing and then wouldn't give a suggestion and then would keep pressuring us to pick something because he "doesn't care" but then shot down the first/second/third suggestion and now we're paranoid to pick anything because we are instantly filed with anxiety when they ask what we want to eat. So dudes, maybe don't be that way?
Nikole 2 years ago (edited)
Omg yes. Edit: after a bunch of this I just say, fine, I’m ordering from [place]. If you want anything let me know but I’m ordering now.
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Jennifer_Crowley_Luci 2 years ago
There's a hack for this! Ask her to guess where you're taking her LOL. She's probably not going to guess what she doesn't like if you don't take her there religiously I mean. :D
Black Rabbit 2 years ago
Get her a taco she likes maybe from another place, and move out of the way. The rest of us want tacos too.
D. Pitbull 2 years ago
I hate that this is a rooted 'thing'. Because then... the average-lookin' girls like me... when we say exactly what we want (as in, sometimes I'll even find search results and send them to him as an example) - it's only about 50/50 that it's listened to.
Greengrass 2 years ago
At 9 I was told to eat my greens and carrots because they were good for me. It certainly wasn't assumed that "pleasing" me came into it too much or that I'd have the wits to know what was a healthy balanced diet for a growing child..
#26
𝕷𝖊𝖘𝖇𝖎𝖆𝖓𝕭𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍️ 2 years ago
Me too, if you squint so hard you close your eyes
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I give up on society 2 years ago
Learn to take out the trash. Out with the old and in with new my motto.
#28
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Hey, I had Botox for my clenched jaw and teeth grinding and it did help ease the pain
PixieVonBehr 2 years ago
You don't have to answer, but did you have any issues chewing/dribbling after? I have terrible bruxism, and whilst my facial muscles are chock full of sweet sweet Botox, I've heard horror stories about it being used on the jaw so would love to hear from someone who has had it!
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Jared Robinson 2 years ago
Ma'am you might want to take something for that resting b***h face. that's so mean.
#29
Maxwell Pearce 2 years ago
also missing an oxford comma after the ampersand.
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#30
James016 2 years ago
Best you can do is put yourself in either Do not Disturb so no notifications or Show as Away
MotherofGuineaPigs 2 years ago
I always do 'Busy". then people will see it and wonder "Are they working on MY project?" so no one IMs me.
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Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
Another thing I don't like (unless it is buried in the settings somewhere) is that you (as a participant anyway) can't turn off someone's video if you don't want to see them
Jackson 2 years ago
I once did the equivalent in meeting with the site VP and all department managers. I took my hearing aids out, removed the batteries, and said “I am not going to waste batteries on this nonsense. Let me know when you are ready to discuss a path forward that is both legal and effective.”
#31
TotallyNOTaFox 2 years ago (edited)
They are driven by adrenaline fueled fear about the thing their little goblins come up with next
Gidget Girl 2 years ago
The trick to being a woman and having it all - marriage, kids, job - is to get divorced and remarried. I have my kids 1/2 time and get to be a real human 1/2 time. It's truly the only way I'm able to have a job and keep my house clean and cook dinner and do the laundry and do homework and baths and ...
Upstaged75 2 years ago
If you're my brother you do it by constantly complaining about how hard it is to have kids. Should've kept your weiner to yourself then dude! No one forced you and your wife to procreate.
#32
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago (edited)
Definitely would've made the call worth it, I would've kept going along
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SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago (edited)
If you want to go and take a ride with me. We 3-wheeling in the fo' with the gold D's. Oh why do I live this way? XP XD
StrangePenguin 2 years ago (edited)
…what? how do you not know? (no offense)
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#33
rullyman 2 years ago
You are supposed to discard make up after 12 months or so of opening, because exposure to air and the germs and oils on your skin can make it go rancid or harbour dangerous bacterious like staphylococcus. $40 is too expensive to discard like that.
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Jude Corrigan 2 years ago (edited)
I feel that the expiration date closely correlates with the cost of the item. £2 mascara expiry 12 months, £50 make up palette can't find an expiry.
#34
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
In fairness, if I was told I could do absolutely anything. ANYthing......except eat this apple from this certain tree. Imma eat that apple.
Beverly Arana 2 years ago
I'm going to try to get someone else to try it first in case it's poison or something.
Load More Replies... Jessi Lovely 2 years ago
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say (and I know this is crazy) it didn’t even happen. Women coming from a man’s rib is the most egotistical douchey guy story ever. YOU came out of HER, my guy. Deal with it.
Jude Corrigan 2 years ago
Well,if Eve did come from Adams rib, she would originally have male DNA. So the first transgender person?
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My RBF Is Legendary(She/Her) 2 years ago
Oh is that why there is an adams apple? Cuz it's stuck in his throat?
Jude Corrigan 2 years ago
Guess someone edited the Bible to cover that up?
Load More Replies... BenTevye 2 years ago
So....I'm confused. It became perfectly alright to mindlessly bash entire genders with meaningless tropes? I guess I missed the memo.
Goose of the Ahonkalypse 2 years ago
I get your point but it is slightly ironic that its on a post based on a story from which people spent thousands of years blaming women for the original sin.
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tuzdayschild 2 years ago
I read that story and when Eve ate the apple, nothing happened. When Adam ate, that's when they got in trouble. God told Adam he couldn't eat it, not Eve. Adam was the one who told Eve and frankly, he was not the boss of her.
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
Probably me: I'M MAN!!! NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO!!! *one apple and many consequences later* Ah, fork... Don't say I told you so, you did tell me so...
sofacushionfort 2 years ago
There were two trees: the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, and the Tree of (eternal) Life. I don’t blame Adam and Eve for succumbing to temptation, but really: this is the tree they chose to blow it on?
Little Johnny... 2 years ago
Or they don't listen to you, fall off a ladder. Break the wrist and whine about it to you. Then you have to deal with Everything!!by yourself!!
David Gripon 2 years ago
And now everyone believes it's an apple, even though nowhere in the Bible does it say it was an apple. You know women can't be wrong.
#35
Teutonic Disaster 2 years ago
"Come in, darling!" said in the weirdest/creepiest voice you can come up with.
Bouche, Audi, and Shyla, oh my! 2 years ago
In one of my rooms in prison, my roommates and I shared a bathroom with the room next door. One of those women, if she were in the bathroom when you knocked, would knock back.
DonnerDinnerParty 2 years ago
I've never been to prison, but spent time in gen pop in county. We were not given doors to the toilet. Just 6 bunks in a glass square with two metal toilets against the wall. Everyone saw everything. Bathroom time was not private at all. The ladies would be blowing handfuls of baby powder into the air as a freshener 😅
Load More Replies... Ba-Na-Na 2 years ago
Occupied is a good option. My go-to actually. As long as you don’t say “Come in” you should be good
Alan Vannes 2 years ago
Singing; “They keep on knocking but they can't come in” usually works for me.
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What do you think ?
Prince of Darkness 2 years ago
These are examples of sarcasm the same way Alanis Morissette's "Isn't It Ironic" gives examples of irony
Eastendbird 2 years ago
Yup - "You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means."
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AlexJ 2 years ago
I'm so happy there's a page that knows what "sarcasm" is and shares all these perfect examples with us.
Aiden Brough 2 years ago
One of the greatest backhanded compliment I ever received was from a teacher (a physics) who smuggly said to me "I can't tell if you're being serious or sarcastic" "I suppose it's if I answer rhetorically" I replied...
Prince of Darkness 2 years ago
These are examples of sarcasm the same way Alanis Morissette's "Isn't It Ironic" gives examples of irony
Eastendbird 2 years ago
Yup - "You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means."
Load More Replies... AlexJ 2 years ago
I'm so happy there's a page that knows what "sarcasm" is and shares all these perfect examples with us.
Aiden Brough 2 years ago
One of the greatest backhanded compliment I ever received was from a teacher (a physics) who smuggly said to me "I can't tell if you're being serious or sarcastic" "I suppose it's if I answer rhetorically" I replied...
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