Mom Recovering From A C-Section Completely Loses It At Incompetent Husband
Being a new parent is stressful, particularly if you also have to find a way to keep working. You end up juggling a lack of sleep, all kinds of new fears and challenges, all while making sure a new human doesn’t die. But this is not an excuse for being a horrible person.
A woman asked the internet for advice after she shouted at her husband for first procrastinating on getting diapers, then getting the wrong ones. After the confrontation, he locked his wife, who was still recovering from a C-section, out of the bedroom and threw a fit. Netizens did their best to share some words of support with her.
Newborns take a ton of work and effort to look after
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But one mom was frustrated when her husband would constantly forget to buy diapers
Image credits: Nathan Dumlao / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwaway928272621
Postpartum recovery is neither quick, nor easy in most cases
Just to put things into perspective, not only has this woman been raising a child for the first time, she still has to actually recover from the stress of pregnancy, giving birth and surgery. Most specialists emphasize that a full post-partum recovery can take months. Even in ideal circumstances, six to eight weeks is to be expected. This is why, even when the mother has full maternity leave, she might often need help with a variety of tasks.
While a c-section delivery is a modern miracle, there is no denying that giving birth, taking care of a newborn and recovering from a surgery is no mean feat. For those who are unaware, a c-section involves literally delivering the child through a cut in the mother’s abdomen. This is a risky procedure which requires catheters, general anesthesia and incisions around 6 inches (15 centimeters) long.
Movement after a c-section tends to be limited and painful, and should be avoided whenever possible. Normally, this is why having a partner is such an advantage. Some specialists suggest that the mother shouldn’t try living a “normal” life up until 6 weeks after her surgery. This includes, among other things, driving.
Not only does the body have to heal, but the shift in hormones takes a toll on the emotions
Image credits: Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo)
If just the sound of this makes you balk, imagine someone recovering from it, unable to really get up and drive to the store, realizing that their own ally and caretaker can’t be bothered to get diapers. Remember, these aren’t some luxury items, diapers are literally the only thing between clean clothes and linens and a horrible mess. A mess that this woman seems to be expected to clean up, despite still recovering.
In general, research suggests that post-partum, the flux of hormones the mother is feeling can lead to heightened emotions and often irrational feelings. Yelling at and insulting your partner is generally not justifiable, but, for once, the person doing it in this case might actually not really comprehend what they are feeling. It can be helpful to explore what other parents have seen, learned and experienced to get a better understanding of what things might look like.
The husband appears to be unreliable precisely when he is needed most
This is not to disparage the time and energy working a full time job requires, but realistically, the husband needs to understand that in many ways, his wife and the mother of his child can not fully take care of herself. Perhaps her outburst was too much, but by procrastinating, he is not only making her life harder, he is also negatively affecting the life of his own child.
This argument could be chalked up to just frustration boiling over, but his decision to lock her out of the bedroom and make her sleep on the sofa is too much. This would be too much if she was just looking after their child (emphasis on “their”) but the fact that she is also going through post-surgical recovery is just evidence that this man simply can not be trusted. This isn’t some unwanted child, this is his offspring that he suddenly doesn’t care about.
As many of the commenters suggest, she needs to get out of that relationship fast, this will not be the last argument this couple has and if this is how low he might stoop, it will only get worse. He was ready to threaten divorce after he didn’t get diapers, which is both cruel and short sighted. The fact that he didn’t get the right ones is secondary to the fact that it truly took him that long to get any in the first place.
Readers were shocked by his behavior
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And call his mum, explain what happened and ask if she would be able to order diapers. I'm pretty sure (or is it wishful thinking?) she will tell her son he's an idiot. On the other hand, why would the new mother want to stay with a prick like him ...
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So, first you have to get through physical recovery, start ordering things online. Even in rural places that's doable, you just don't get overnight. Second, start contacting places that support people leaving abusive relationships. They will help you plan. Get everything in place, do your best to physically recover enough to escape, do what you can within reason to keep peace at home until everything is set, and then run.
Okay. So. Now you know he's useless and abusive. Plan accordingly - from the immediate ordering of diaper deliveries, to the organisational: separating finances and setting money aside, research family law and spousal/child support etc. Get in touch with family/friends for emotional support and logistical help getting back home. If you stay with this guy, you will be setting yourself up for a lifetime of abuse. Even if he's just reacting to new-parent stress, and you think you can get past this, this is a man incapable/unwilling to even buy the correct f*****g diapers with you literally asking him for days. You will be carrying the whole mental and emotional load of this family, as well as doing the vast majority of parenting, housework, errands, etc simply to ensure they get done. It sounds like he's going to be a major burden.
And call his mum, explain what happened and ask if she would be able to order diapers. I'm pretty sure (or is it wishful thinking?) she will tell her son he's an idiot. On the other hand, why would the new mother want to stay with a prick like him ...
Load More Replies... So, first you have to get through physical recovery, start ordering things online. Even in rural places that's doable, you just don't get overnight. Second, start contacting places that support people leaving abusive relationships. They will help you plan. Get everything in place, do your best to physically recover enough to escape, do what you can within reason to keep peace at home until everything is set, and then run.
Okay. So. Now you know he's useless and abusive. Plan accordingly - from the immediate ordering of diaper deliveries, to the organisational: separating finances and setting money aside, research family law and spousal/child support etc. Get in touch with family/friends for emotional support and logistical help getting back home. If you stay with this guy, you will be setting yourself up for a lifetime of abuse. Even if he's just reacting to new-parent stress, and you think you can get past this, this is a man incapable/unwilling to even buy the correct f*****g diapers with you literally asking him for days. You will be carrying the whole mental and emotional load of this family, as well as doing the vast majority of parenting, housework, errands, etc simply to ensure they get done. It sounds like he's going to be a major burden.
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