“Welcome to the Alpha Zone”: 40 Absurdly Masculine Takes That Are So Bad, They Had To Be Shamed On This Twitter Page (New Posts)
Before the Internet, most stupid things that were said were simply forgotten, as if evaporated into thin air. Poof, gone. But now, since the dawn of the Twitter-era where every voice is amplified, there are so many wrong takes, most of them drowning in testosterone, that it would be a real shame to let them go away without proper appreciation. And that's where 'Hot Masculinity Takes' community comes in.
From ridiculous Andrew Tate wannabes spewing absurdly ridiculous opinions to 'gigachads' who, as you'll see in today's list, compares Socrates to the man himself, 'Hot Masculinity Takes' has proven itself to be a page we don't deserve, but one that we need - today, more than ever before. Without further ado, "Welcome to the Alpha Zone," dear readers. And if you're hungry for more, you can check out our previous 'Hot Masculinity Takes' post.
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It's easy to be ridiculous and sink to base misogyny, but to do it without a glimmer of irony is where the real genius of the 'Hot Masculinity Takes' collection lies. Speaking to Bored Panda about the origins of their page in 2021, four years after it was created, the founder reveals that its original goal wasn't to make fun of 'toxic masculinity' - a catchall explanation for Andrew Tate-admiring Chads who try to preserve outdated ideals of masculinity to the point of absurdity.
"I will say that it’s not purely about 'toxic masculinity,'" the person behind 'Hot Masculinity Takes' explained to my colleague Rokas. "I do draw a lot from the manosphere but a lot of the takes are from women speaking about men, and I include left-wing hot takes too." Since 2017, the page has garnered thousands of new followers, currently sporting a number shy of 155,000.
Although the term 'toxic masculinity' has gained recent popularity among feminists, many will be surprised to learn that it actually was coined in the mythopoetic men's movement of the 1980s and '90s by Shepherd Bliss, a psychology professor at John F. Kennedy University in Orinda, California, who only wanted to capture his "father's militarized, authoritarian masculinity."
By those days' definition, nobody would suspect that one of America’s greatest writers, the ultimate man's man, Ernest Hemingway, could be "the avatar of toxic masculinity." In this day and age, depending on who you ask, however, Hemingway might be just as bad to young men's masculinity as rock and roll was to our grandparents (due to the fact that for a short period of time it was considered 'Devil's music').
There's no surprise in the fact that perception of masculinity has been shifting in the last few years, with people associating it with aggression and being inconsiderate. On the other hand, the 2017 Pew Research Center survey, while being pretty outdated, shows some fascinating metrics. In terms of self-perception, approximately 31% of American men identified themselves as "highly manly or masculine", while 54% described themselves as "somewhat masculine." Only a small percentage of 15% considered themselves as "not too or not at all masculine." Fair enough.
A compelling statistic that I came across, thanks to GQ magazine, is from their "Survey of Attitudes on Masculinity" conducted in 2019. The survey revealed that among those who are familiar with the term "toxic masculinity," 26% of men acknowledged witnessing it in the workplace, while only 37% of women agreed with the statement. These numbers, all things considered, seem fairly significant, although the ultimate goal remains to strive for a complete eradication of such instances in the future.
It's fun to imagine them stroking out if they knew I held her purse and other clothes while she tried stuff on. One time I accidentally touched a wrapped tampon and it almost made my penis fall off but then I drank a beer, ate a rare steak and screamed the name of my favorite team and I felt a bit better. /s
The desirability of masculinity, like anything else, depends on how you define it. And so, in order to understand the phenomenon of 'toxic masculinity' better, Bored Panda reached out to Michael Karson, a professor at the University of Denver's Graduate School of Professional Psychology. According to him, 'toxic masculinity' has morphed into a heavy-handed term, one that carries many misconceptions.
"Horrible things that some men do are not extensions of positive traits like assertiveness, ambition, and courage, just as the vile things that mean girls do under the labels of gossip, ostracism, and character assassination are not extensions of positive traits like social grouping or emotional bonding. Both sets of bad behavior involve dehumanizing other people," Karson explains, noting that bad behavior shouldn't be associated strictly with gender, rather with a person's psychology.
Otherwise, men could start to fear that once respected traits like assertiveness, standing up for what’s right or speaking truth to power have become "villainized in our conflict avoidant society." Something that can drive young men to display hyper-masculinity, according to one survey by YouGov.
LOL. Yeah that's why. I am so intimidated by orange skin and a balding head.
Karson believes that while there's some good in condemning horrible aggressive behavior to 'toxic masculinity', we should be careful of how we characterize it. "If a man robs someone, it’s a political choice whether to construe him as a man or as someone who is enraged or desperate or antisocial," he said. "This also happens with race: when a Black person commits a crime, depending on the political agenda, he can be characterized as Black or as desperate, or as enraged."
demanding it like that, they must be glad the women only yell back and dont put that microphone stand in a place where the sun doesnt shine.
I ... I just. Hmm. Telling a guy to sit while peeing is like being part of the Nazi regime? I ... just ... no.
My fella likes to sit sometimes... I just get jealous because I can't be as accurate if I stand 😮💨
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I was a plumber and I now clean and maintain a business building w/6 bathrooms. Women are just as messy as men in public restrooms. See: hovering
As a woman I say that women are worse. Men at least pee on the floor because of the pissoirs, women always on the fücking seat
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Yes hitler started his rampage after years of putting up with toilet seat toddler pee training sessions 🤦♀️ mousolini, also never got over peeing on the toilet seat and having his mum correct him and let the world know. Now, you’ve seen Putin? You don’t wanna know how many pees started his decent into madness -
I love this Eliza woman comment. Yes, let's all do that, please. And coincidentally: if every woman (and men) trains their son to respect women and the concept of consent we will have a new generation of men "engineeringly" programmed to treat women as sentient and intelligent human beings, worthy of respect and rights.
Lol! We already have that. Some guy's are just creeps, which we will also always have
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Kids are socially engineered. Trust me on this. Without it, there would be pee *everywhere.*
How fragile does your masculinity have to be if the simple act of sitting threatens it?
I have two daughters and no sons, I find pee on the seat sometimes and it isn't from me. We do have a male cat though, so if only males can pee on seats I might have to interrogate him.
Women: Please don’t literally urinate everywhere. Men: This is Nazi ideology.
You realize most of Europe does this and has cleaner toilets as a result????
I know a guy that confided self-consciously that due to a medical issue he has to "pee like a girl". Not "sit down to pee" but "pee like a girl". It took a moment for my brain to process that. (yes, he's quite sexist although I don't believe he understands that)
How DARE she try to toilet train children! They should just p**s over everything like he does!
Many Nazis were rounded up at the end of war because they were spotted sitting down for a whizz.
Ffs Urinating Standing versus Sitting: Position Is of Influence in Men with Prostate Enlargement. A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis (citation below) Conclusion: "For healthy men, no difference is found in any of the urodynamic parameters. In patients with LUTS, the sitting position is linked with an improved urodynamic profile." https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0101320
Funny how women’s toilets are always covered in p**s cause a lot of women seem to think it’s okay to hover over the toilet seat, how about we potty train everyone from scratch
Any male who thinks not peeing on the seat/floor/anywhere it shouldn’t be going is likened to naziism maybe should brush up on their history, and learn to clean up their own pee.
Being a parent—teaching the animal you birthed to be a human being—is literally social engineering of kids, you twit.
Comparing preventing p**s on the seats to the Nazis...what a day to have eyes.
Reading this list is upping my love and admiration for my awesome partner. I once commented on how annoying it is to clean a toilet when dude spray is involved, and he's been sitting while peeing ever since. I clean the toilets bc we split up what needs to be done and I'm particularly a**l about bathrooms. He got a vasectomy when my birth control pills made me sick. He's never once called me a name or criticized me, or expected me to be anything other than who I am (exact opposite of my ex-hubs ). I think he's the bee's knees, and if more men adopted his way of being rather than fighting or fearing it, they might find themselves in loving relationships with human women and give vacuum repair techs a break.
I agree we should keep kids in their natural, feral state. Forget clothes & grammar, let em roam!
Omg women unite and lock Samira in a classroom somewhere, she obviously needs more of an education
Based on the "Man Box Study" conducted by Promundo in 2017, which surveyed over 1,000 men aged 18 to 30 in the United States, it was discovered that 72% of participants reported being told that there is a specific way in which a "real man" should behave. Additionally, the study found that 59% of respondents agreed with the notion that men should display strength even if they feel scared or anxious internally, while 40% believed that men should handle their personal issues without seeking assistance from others.
Of course, these are completely outdated sets of ideals that organizations such as A Call to Men try to root out from our society. "I’m not sure how much control parents really have on their children’s gender development in a culture that sends pervasive messages about what girls and boys are supposed to be like," Karson said, "but I would advise parents to teach kids how to think critically and skeptically about those messages."
"Also, if parents can love their children wholly, the children may be more likely to integrate their various conflicting agendas, including their sons’ needs for tenderness and their daughters’ needs for achievement."
Or maybe classical sculptures didn't want to put a giant dong on their statues because it would be the first thing to be broken off.
This one is actually quite funny. I read this as, " I, a very masculine man,do not interact with women because I'm scared of my wife ."
As someone who used to teach human osteology, I can assure you that none of the bones in the skull are soft. In fact, none of the bones anywhere in our bodies are soft. Also female skulls are not flat (wtf does that even mean!). There are some *general* sex-based characteristics of the skull that, when taken *together* can give you a pretty good idea if the skull was female or male - but that is also dependent on where on the gradient those traits lie (it's not an either/or thing) and it doesn't tell you anything about the person themselves (e.g., their gender identity), only if the skeleton was likely to be biologically female or biologicaly male.
F**K YOU, YOU LITTLE S**T IF YOU WERE THE PRIZE AT THE END OF A MARATHON ALL WOMEN WOULD WALK BACKWARDS. AS AN ASIAN I WOULD NOT F*****G GO WITHIN 10METRES OF THIS CLOWN WITH A BROOMSTICK.
Note: this post originally had 56 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
I made it to the 20s before I had to ripcord...I could literally feel the intelligence void in every sentence. I was getting a headache.
Are there really SO many people who think this way? Where do these people come from? What century is this? How is it possible for so many people to be this ... whatever this is!
now you understand how trump got voted in: baboons.
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I made it through this article but I seemed to have lost hearing in my left eye.
Oh god. These are as frightening as they are offensive. Do people ACTUALLY think this way? How ignorant and harmful to society can people be? Makes me uber angry...
They do. And they're getting more and more problematic every day.
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I read your comment before I even started on the list and I should have listened 😭😭😭😭😭
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Well I hate everything and I'm gonna curl up in a hole and die.
Ummmm, I hope you realize I was joking and just making a SpongeBob reference.
Load More Replies... i gave up on reading that cr@p. Too much random sh!t that doesnt make any sense in any way. If someone will adress me like that in real life i would just turn around and walk away. No discussion, no "sure hon" nothing.
Like anyone of them would have the guts to actually talk to someone like that in real live...
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I've lost about 100,000 brain cells reading this. It's in equal measure infuriating and terrifying people like that exist
This might be the first time I'll say ''that's enough Internet for today.'' and truly mean it. 🥴🤦🏻♀️
After reading this, I'm about to channel my inner dragon and go Fus Ro Dah on some, if not all of these posters -_-
This entire list is why I have chosen to be single forever.
It is now my life mission to work "performing the act of suction", or variants thereof, into every conversation I ever take part in.
So I can kind of understand the laziness of wanting a woman to do everything for you and wait on you hand and foot, but I really don't get the "keeping your semen" thing and no pussy licking or a**l sex, I thought men generally like those things?
I made it to the 20s before I had to ripcord...I could literally feel the intelligence void in every sentence. I was getting a headache.
Are there really SO many people who think this way? Where do these people come from? What century is this? How is it possible for so many people to be this ... whatever this is!
now you understand how trump got voted in: baboons.
Load More Replies... I made it through this article but I seemed to have lost hearing in my left eye.
Oh god. These are as frightening as they are offensive. Do people ACTUALLY think this way? How ignorant and harmful to society can people be? Makes me uber angry...
They do. And they're getting more and more problematic every day.
Load More Replies... I read your comment before I even started on the list and I should have listened 😭😭😭😭😭
Load More Replies... Well I hate everything and I'm gonna curl up in a hole and die.
Ummmm, I hope you realize I was joking and just making a SpongeBob reference.
Load More Replies... i gave up on reading that cr@p. Too much random sh!t that doesnt make any sense in any way. If someone will adress me like that in real life i would just turn around and walk away. No discussion, no "sure hon" nothing.
Like anyone of them would have the guts to actually talk to someone like that in real live...
Load More Replies... I've lost about 100,000 brain cells reading this. It's in equal measure infuriating and terrifying people like that exist
This might be the first time I'll say ''that's enough Internet for today.'' and truly mean it. 🥴🤦🏻♀️
After reading this, I'm about to channel my inner dragon and go Fus Ro Dah on some, if not all of these posters -_-
This entire list is why I have chosen to be single forever.
It is now my life mission to work "performing the act of suction", or variants thereof, into every conversation I ever take part in.
So I can kind of understand the laziness of wanting a woman to do everything for you and wait on you hand and foot, but I really don't get the "keeping your semen" thing and no pussy licking or a**l sex, I thought men generally like those things?
