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Before the Internet, most stupid things that were said were simply forgotten, as if evaporated into thin air. Poof, gone. But now, since the dawn of the Twitter-era where every voice is amplified, there are so many wrong takes, most of them drowning in testosterone, that it would be a real shame to let them go away without proper appreciation. And that's where 'Hot Masculinity Takes' community comes in.

From ridiculous Andrew Tate wannabes spewing absurdly ridiculous opinions to 'gigachads' who, as you'll see in today's list, compares Socrates to the man himself, 'Hot Masculinity Takes' has proven itself to be a page we don't deserve, but one that we need - today, more than ever before. Without further ado, "Welcome to the Alpha Zone," dear readers. And if you're hungry for more, you can check out our previous 'Hot Masculinity Takes' post.

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Kristal
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe the thing here is that women and men are equally not allowed to do activities with opposite sex people that is not family. It's a rule for both, not just a woman. So the dude is being a sexist idiot.

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It's easy to be ridiculous and sink to base misogyny, but to do it without a glimmer of irony is where the real genius of the 'Hot Masculinity Takes' collection lies. Speaking to Bored Panda about the origins of their page in 2021, four years after it was created, the founder reveals that its original goal wasn't to make fun of 'toxic masculinity' - a catchall explanation for Andrew Tate-admiring Chads who try to preserve outdated ideals of masculinity to the point of absurdity.

"I will say that it’s not purely about 'toxic masculinity,'" the person behind 'Hot Masculinity Takes' explained to my colleague Rokas. "I do draw a lot from the manosphere but a lot of the takes are from women speaking about men, and I include left-wing hot takes too." Since 2017, the page has garnered thousands of new followers, currently sporting a number shy of 155,000.

Although the term 'toxic masculinity' has gained recent popularity among feminists, many will be surprised to learn that it actually was coined in the mythopoetic men's movement of the 1980s and '90s by Shepherd Bliss, a psychology professor at John F. Kennedy University in Orinda, California, who only wanted to capture his "father's militarized, authoritarian masculinity."

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By those days' definition, nobody would suspect that one of America’s greatest writers, the ultimate man's man, Ernest Hemingway, could be "the avatar of toxic masculinity." In this day and age, depending on who you ask, however, Hemingway might be just as bad to young men's masculinity as rock and roll was to our grandparents (due to the fact that for a short period of time it was considered 'Devil's music').

There's no surprise in the fact that perception of masculinity has been shifting in the last few years, with people associating it with aggression and being inconsiderate. On the other hand, the 2017 Pew Research Center survey, while being pretty outdated, shows some fascinating metrics. In terms of self-perception, approximately 31% of American men identified themselves as "highly manly or masculine", while 54% described themselves as "somewhat masculine." Only a small percentage of 15% considered themselves as "not too or not at all masculine." Fair enough.

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Lhr
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WoW none of those women are even ugly!! They just chose sh*tty photos...

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scag$y
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nature is clear Eric - stupid men who say stupid things make themselves less attractive to women. This prevents them from breeding and spreading their stupidity down through the ages. It's a wonderful thing.

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A compelling statistic that I came across, thanks to GQ magazine, is from their "Survey of Attitudes on Masculinity" conducted in 2019. The survey revealed that among those who are familiar with the term "toxic masculinity," 26% of men acknowledged witnessing it in the workplace, while only 37% of women agreed with the statement. These numbers, all things considered, seem fairly significant, although the ultimate goal remains to strive for a complete eradication of such instances in the future.

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David
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's fun to imagine them stroking out if they knew I held her purse and other clothes while she tried stuff on. One time I accidentally touched a wrapped tampon and it almost made my penis fall off but then I drank a beer, ate a rare steak and screamed the name of my favorite team and I felt a bit better. /s

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The desirability of masculinity, like anything else, depends on how you define it. And so, in order to understand the phenomenon of 'toxic masculinity' better, Bored Panda reached out to Michael Karson, a professor at the University of Denver's Graduate School of Professional Psychology. According to him, 'toxic masculinity' has morphed into a heavy-handed term, one that carries many misconceptions. 

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"Horrible things that some men do are not extensions of positive traits like assertiveness, ambition, and courage, just as the vile things that mean girls do under the labels of gossip, ostracism, and character assassination are not extensions of positive traits like social grouping or emotional bonding. Both sets of bad behavior involve dehumanizing other people," Karson explains, noting that bad behavior shouldn't be associated strictly with gender, rather with a person's psychology.

Otherwise, men could start to fear that once respected traits like assertiveness, standing up for what’s right or speaking truth to power have become "villainized in our conflict avoidant society." Something that can drive young men to display hyper-masculinity, according to one survey by YouGov.

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Kristal
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like my people, we talk about Disney, gardening, and World of Warcraft, and all have active men within those groups

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David
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If her V sucks you in like the vacuum at a self serve car wash then head for the airlock because the aliens have made it onto your ship.

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Zedrapazia
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It does sound as if he'd wanna bang a vacuum cleaner alien

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R Dennis
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell me you have no idea how sex happens without saying you have no idea how sex happens...

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Jcusack
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Was thinking that this is a really long way of telling people you've never had sex before

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KJ
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Congrats ladies, you now have a henry hoover in your undies!

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Dani M
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

tell me you f-k your roomba without telling me you f-k your roomba

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Khavrinen
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Sucks up his organ as air is sucked up into an empty space." Like, say, the space between your ears.

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Emmydearest
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a weird way to say they are too lazy to put some effort into the lovemaking. "OH no, woman! I shouldn't even move! Your body is supposed to become a dust collector and do all the work! Clearly you don't love me enough!"

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Hollerfloozy
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hear me out.. By this reasoning, women should be able to shoot a kid out of their V because we can control the suction. * Grunt, whoosh, bang. Cries in baby*

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Petra Schaap
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

at first glance i thought your name was Hooverfloozy, i thought that was too perfect for this subject 😂

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Duh
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This whole idea is "performing the art of suction" if you know what I mean

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F.O.H.P.R.G
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Talk about objectifying. Apparently girls are vacuums now... great.

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kansasmagic
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry, I'm terrible, but I can't help but imagine some guy saying "but if you really loved me, you would perform the act of suction."

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Rachel Ratty
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am laughing so much - please tell me that people do not believe this Shi**

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David H
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

something tells me this person has never been with an actual woman? his vacuum cleaner operates very different than an actual woman

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Sir Panda
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol wtf this sounds like a horribly written porno script.

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Mike Beck
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, this? This is actually a new one to me. I was pretty decent at anatomy but I must have missed the day we covered the vaginal-diaphragm. I suppose love, via oxytocin of course, causes the ovarian-pumps to activate, in turn causing the uterine-bladder to begin drawing in atmosphere, creating a low pressure zone in the canal. This makes sense of course because evolution would obviously allow the woman to only get pregnant by an alpha (I have actually heard this one: the woman is capable of choosing which sp**m can fertilize) by giving her the ability to better draw up the obviously superior "feed stock" while still feeling safe by not obviously rejecting any betas. All I can say is wow. just wow... (Now, some idiots are going to think this is true and repost it somewhere I'd bet...)

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Stephen Hutchison
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Show me that you're an incel who has never actually touched a woman without actually telling me. Ah, thanks, good job.

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Vinay Pai
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Move over, Hoover and Dyson!!! But hope your woman really loves dust.

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Jan Dunn
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obviously this man has never had sex with or without love.

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Robert Beveridge
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is a (very terrible) movie called Oversexed Rugsuckers from Mars that I believe OP watched while on heavy drugs to come up with this hypothesis

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MsPlants
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well I have news to tell the man in my life that I apparently Do Not love him because I have never slurped him up. Think he'll be disappointed ore relieved?

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Queenie G
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would hazard a guess that the guy who wrote this has a short pencil d*ck and hasn't got what it takes to do the job anyway.

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martin734
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How to admit to being a virgin without admitting you're a virgin.

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karen Young
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would guess it is so small neither can tell "Is it in yet"

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Karma Black
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't know my VacuVag was broken until I saw this on Reddit a while back.

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Tobias Reaper
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

tell me you are an alien posing as a human without telling you are an alien posing as a human

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Hendo
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are no words to describe the level of WTF I am feeling after reading this garbage. Clearly written by a virgin who watches to much porn in his mummies basement.

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Moezzzz
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aaahagahagahagagagahahahaha. Holy s**t! Tell me this is parody. Omg

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Lyoness
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who IS this guy? And what's it like on Planet Clueless?

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Ron H.
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't even imagine how people come up with this crazy sh*t?! 😂🤣

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mikejaz2
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As pontificated by someone who's obvi never had sex with a woman...

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, but if her vagina is making it happen, isn’t it a very passive penis? It’s just lying there, and then whoop, there is goes, (one might say aggressively) sucked up against its will. As a result, wouldn’t men’s actions be passive?

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aartdesigns
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The hell did I just read? This is like some sort of Hentai fantasy porn from the mind of an 11 year old red neck's wet dream.

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Nikki Sevven
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that's not how it works, incel. That's not how any of this works.

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Jared Robinson
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What? is there a switch? Damn must have forgot to plug mine in again.

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tabithapaquette98
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the hell? That is absolutely the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life.

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detective miller's hat
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can suck up their entire body and feed on them to maintain eternal youth.

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kansasmagic
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*Scrolls back up just so he can read about "the act of suction" again.*

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M Waite
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It sounds like victim blaming. I didn't assault her; her vagina sucked me in. I tried to stop it but the force was too great. I e old like tk know how many times he thinks he was "falsely" accused of rape or sexual assault.

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Sebastian Johansson
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that's a lot of words for "my penis doesn't work anymore so I need to take 50 bottles of viagra just to jerk off"

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Mama Penguin
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell me you've never been with a woman without telling me you've never been with a woman.

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Nice Beast Ludo
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This sounds like what boys think sex Is prior to sex ed. So this must be a Virgin whose mother never signed the sex ed form. If our vaginas had suction power how would you get it back out without hurting yourself??

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kansasmagic
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's how you get back out: if a woman really loves you, her orgasm would be so forceful that she will knock you across the room. Otherwise, you obviously ate too much soy.

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ferocious freshwater fish
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dear freckling mister idiot! How can someone be wise enough to know how to use the internet and never bother to learn how to look things up! From actual fact sites, not faceboot and co

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xolitaire
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looks like someone (not naming any names) tested this theory using a vacuum cleaner again

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Petra Schaap
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

the act of suction sounds way cooler than segs. Im gonna use it!

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rose@n_a
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell me you've never had s*x without telling me you've never had s*x #IncelAlert

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Alison Key
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this guy is confusing women with his vacuum cleaner.

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David Wambold
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LOL. Yeah that's why. I am so intimidated by orange skin and a balding head.

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Karson believes that while there's some good in condemning horrible aggressive behavior to 'toxic masculinity', we should be careful of how we characterize it. "If a man robs someone, it’s a political choice whether to construe him as a man or as someone who is enraged or desperate or antisocial," he said. "This also happens with race: when a Black person commits a crime, depending on the political agenda, he can be characterized as Black or as desperate, or as enraged."

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Petra Schaap
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

demanding it like that, they must be glad the women only yell back and dont put that microphone stand in a place where the sun doesnt shine.

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Kristal
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I ... I just. Hmm. Telling a guy to sit while peeing is like being part of the Nazi regime? I ... just ... no.

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Zoe DiAnni
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg women unite and lock Samira in a classroom somewhere, she obviously needs more of an education

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Based on the "Man Box Study" conducted by Promundo in 2017, which surveyed over 1,000 men aged 18 to 30 in the United States, it was discovered that 72% of participants reported being told that there is a specific way in which a "real man" should behave. Additionally, the study found that 59% of respondents agreed with the notion that men should display strength even if they feel scared or anxious internally, while 40% believed that men should handle their personal issues without seeking assistance from others.

Of course, these are completely outdated sets of ideals that organizations such as A Call to Men try to root out from our society. "I’m not sure how much control parents really have on their children’s gender development in a culture that sends pervasive messages about what girls and boys are supposed to be like," Karson said, "but I would advise parents to teach kids how to think critically and skeptically about those messages."

"Also, if parents can love their children wholly, the children may be more likely to integrate their various conflicting agendas, including their sons’ needs for tenderness and their daughters’ needs for achievement."

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Kristal
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do they have this kind of chart for women too or are women more like prey and have no personality (let alone hierarchy). This chart is ridiculous, I'm just curious.

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David
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pro tip: Shove that carrot right up your a..s so it can work it's magic slowly and naturally all day long.

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KJ
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The numbers halving is a very good thing. Sounds like this guy peaked in high school.

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KJ
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's almost like the boss is paying them to do a job, how weird!

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Duh
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who's going to tell them The Matrix was made by a couple of bad-a*s trans women?

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Mario Strada
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or maybe classical sculptures didn't want to put a giant dong on their statues because it would be the first thing to be broken off.

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Kristal
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol I'm not eyeballing the guys, I'm eyeballing the lay-flat seats!

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KJ
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm guessing Corrupter has never brought a woman to orgasm.

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Kristal
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is ridiculously mean. Some women can't produce breast milk, some babies only have a father, some babies have no parents, etc. Just, so many people that need formula and they are just stomping on them. For shame.

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Kristal
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do not listen to this highly insecure individual! Most women enjoy hearing men moan. I think the moaning is great as a bonding experience, knowing you're giving such pleasure to your partner is erotic

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Did I say that out loud?
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one is actually quite funny. I read this as, " I, a very masculine man,do not interact with women because I'm scared of my wife ."

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CanadianDimes
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11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who used to teach human osteology, I can assure you that none of the bones in the skull are soft. In fact, none of the bones anywhere in our bodies are soft. Also female skulls are not flat (wtf does that even mean!). There are some *general* sex-based characteristics of the skull that, when taken *together* can give you a pretty good idea if the skull was female or male - but that is also dependent on where on the gradient those traits lie (it's not an either/or thing) and it doesn't tell you anything about the person themselves (e.g., their gender identity), only if the skeleton was likely to be biologically female or biologicaly male.

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J
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many false ideas are “wild to consider,” so I guess he’s right.

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cats_from_the_void
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F**K YOU, YOU LITTLE S**T IF YOU WERE THE PRIZE AT THE END OF A MARATHON ALL WOMEN WOULD WALK BACKWARDS. AS AN ASIAN I WOULD NOT F*****G GO WITHIN 10METRES OF THIS CLOWN WITH A BROOMSTICK.

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Ace
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So good I can't even work out what it's trying to say. "Based"?

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Note: this post originally had 56 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.