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Everyone who has seen the Oscar-winning classic, Forrest Gump, will remember his famous adage: “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.” While this is true with pretty much everything in life, this couldn't be more applicable to messaging.

From someone 'sliding' into your DMs with a random cookie recipe to the phone's auto-correct hijacking your ultimate break-up text, not a day passes without someone getting weirded out by the least-expected DM. And to remind you what a wild, wild West this poetic form of communication can be, the Weird Dms Instagram page is here to do exactly that.

#1

Hilarious-Weird-Dms

weird_dms Report

Bored Potato
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

well this is awkward.

Clown fish
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fastest way to get rid of creep asking if you've been arrested 1 say yes 2 make what ever you were arrested for a bit scary so creep goes away

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TonyTee
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aggravated assault on the last guy to use that punchline

Loverboy
Community Member
2 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Luckily I'm into that UwU (Don't hate me, js a cringy joke)

zak
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"What aggravated you?" 🤔

Riley Quinn
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was approached in a bar by a stranger I wasn't interested in. His opening line: I'm checking you out (gag!). My response: I'd start with my CORI before getting your hopes up.

Lotekguy
Community Member
Premium
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone should be this good at showing lactose intolerance for cheesy lines like that guy tried. Well played.

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Ever since Ray Tomlinson made email one of the hottest things in the '70s and Nokia, the once largest phone manufacturer in the world, did the same with text messaging after presenting the world's first mobile phone with a texting function - the way humans communicated evolved in mysterious yet sophisticated ways.

Although, we're pretty sure Tomlinson and others responsible for putting homing pigeons out of business would be pretty confused to see how much time, energy, and thought we put into sliding into someone's DMs.

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    #2

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Shayne Randlett
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And they say physical humor is dead...

    TonyTee
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Plot twist: He just got done doin both to his side b***h

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    Perhaps the greatest case in point on this is Instagram, the beloved social media app which has more than 2.3 billion active users today. Many might not remember this but when it was launched in 2010, all you could do was share photos, like and comment on them. That's it.

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    Everything changed, however, when in 2013 Facebook, the app's parent company, added a direct message feature. The only caveat: you couldn't start a conversation with a "Send bobs" or "Hi dear", or an all-explaining GIF. Something that only changed a few years down the line, making Instagram the lifeline for generations to come.

    #3

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    P.C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What I told my crush. “Imma say bye to you until I die probably, so I might not see you until Heaven”

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    BetterBitterButter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damned if you do and damned if you don't

    Moezzzz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nice! Gotta use that. Not that I ever get these kinds of messages, but yeah....

    Sooploosh MacSchnibble
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    #4

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    pink_panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love honesty in a relationship.

    The happy frog
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just not… too much, although I see this one, I’m talking about when you’re wearing a hideous dress and they say it looks like someone smeared poo all over a nightgown

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    Id row
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why, yes, I do hate you! Thanks for asking! :)

    Nice Beast Ludo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hiiiii omggggh yess! I DO hate you!! Let's be friends.

    aZZy_d3Lta (they/star/bun)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    me to Monoboi (he's a racist, narcissistic, misogynist, homophobe and also fetishies lesbains)

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    #5

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    cats_from_the_void
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dam. props for the commitment, but if you're late, you'll be failed automatically. Sorry.

    Sami-Jo Ross
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm honestly impressed he was only two minutes off.

    Osprey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The accuracy of the time is very creepy.

    Max Fox
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Probably set a timer, and forgot about it until they got a notification.

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    While it's hard to say exactly how many DMs are sent each day from apps like Instagram, the newest data gives us a ballpark number of 18.7 billion texts worldwide every day - and that's not including app-to-app messages from WhatsApp, Twitter and other social media giants. Pretty difficult to wrap our heads around that one, huh?

    On the other hand, it's not so surprising, given that teens send a minimum of 50 text messages a day, according to one survey in 2010. Which means that by today's standards, this number could be as high as the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world.

    #6

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    O5-1
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *SOVIET ANTHEM PLAYS AT 1000% VOLUME*

    Scarlet23
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be Careful 05-1, SCP-049 among other SCP's are roaming these pages

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    ScrapieChick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Papa Lazarou is alive and well!!

    mooshoflove
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm down! Yet...I think the majority of mankind is too reliant on being controlled... v_v

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    #7

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    My O My
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's the emergency confetti! You should always carry a pocketful with you

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Relationships are like confetti. You'll have debris to clean up both ways.

    Omima mimi miki
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love how it felt noisy just reading it hahahha

    Moezzzz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The black heart is telling...

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What if he takes it bad? I know, I'll add confetti to soften the blow.

    kelly
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The confetti has me cracking up!

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    #8

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Fat Harry
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is just a case of "lost in translation".

    A B C the Third
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still funnier than half of the other posts, so at least I don't mind at all.

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    Corvus
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Afraid of pirates, most likely.

    Alyssa
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is a bit of a silly saying when you think about it. 😅

    john li
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Customs, returns, weird foreign laws

    Abel
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey here in Spain are mostly good people and not afraid of tourists!

    cats_from_the_void
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    well you see, my last customer from overseas was the Karen boss and she kept finding my number and demanding to speak to my manager, i'm still recovering from the shock

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    However, no king can rule forever. What Facebook is for the 'MTV generation', Instagram became for Gen Z'ers. According to Casey Lewis, a youth-culture consultant who authors the youth-culture newsletter After School, "They don’t want to be on it, but they feel it’s weird if they’re not.”

    In a recent survey conducted by Piper Sandler, which involved 14,500 teenagers from 47 states in the US, it was revealed that barely 20% of them selected Instagram as their preferred social media platform. Considering that 75% of them admit to using Instagram as their go-to app for DMs, it's quite telling.

    #9

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Francis
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    took me a moment :D ETA: it's still a bad joke

    Virgil Blue
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the modernised Monty Python argument sketch.

    TonyTee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah and for being modernized it sucks

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    HelluvaHedgehogAlien
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, yes I have. Now what about that non-gas lighter?

    TonyTee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only real joke here is his sense of humor

    Mark Fuller
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love it but so few would get it, I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain...

    alwaysMispelled
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The crayons? I love it! Will def be stealing that and using in the future =)

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    Loverboy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe I am crazy... for cocoa puffs.

    Moezzzz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My response? "OkAy A$ShOlE"

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I appreciate the play on words, but some words shouldn't be played with.

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    #10

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    whaaaaaaaaaa
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who made this post wtf, how is this cringe

    Loverboy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is such a mom thing to do, I can see mine doing this.

    Shayne Randlett
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I decided years ago my aging ears couldn't take the noise of concerts anymore, but I'd pay whatever they want to go to this one

    Melissa Hosch
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aww, so cute. The mom thinking horndog was a musician.

    Demolition Lover (He/him)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🎷🦖🎷🐏🎷🐌🎷🐀 🎷🦆 <--- they're having band practice

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think Mom needs to find some volunteer work to occupy her time.

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    #11

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    @littleerik Report

    Mohsie Supposie
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Texting while driving is major cringe!

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    Rebekah Krause
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very cute. Once I was stuck in traffic and texted my friend to see if he was in his his girlfriend’s condo that we could see from the expressway. He was and he came out and waved. It was exciting for everyone.

    Loverboy
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly good relationship

    Billy Maguire
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Texting while driving? Oh, NO-NO.

    Mrs S
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So cute!

    Matilda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha! I do this! (Using voice control obvs!)

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    Of course, one of the most peculiar elements of DMing is nonetheless receiving a text without the sender's name attached. Something that the last season of Netflix's hit series You played on, not to mention the all-time classics such as You've Got Mail.

    This predicament presents a dilemma: should one boldly inquire about the sender's identity, risking the embarrassment of admitting their failure to save the contact? Or should one play along, diving head-first into the thrilling mystery (which, lest we forget, may well just be your long-lost cousin)?

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    In either case, both scenarios present a million possibilities which are difficult to replicate outside the screens of our phones.

    #12

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Loverboy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, pushups. The solution to everything. Sounds like my dad.

    BetterBitterButter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For my mother it's water. I have sent these texts too except without telling why I need to talk.

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    Shayne Randlett
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The thought of doing pushups is the cause of my panic, not the solution.

    TonyTee
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Child: “I’m having a panic attack and my anxiety is through the roof, please help me through it…”, Father: “Drop and give me 20!”

    Id row
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If anyone has a father they can turn to when having a panic attack, they're very lucky.

    Aroace tiger (she/they/he)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly idk what to do when I'm texting my friends when they're having a panic attack. They dk what they need either...

    Miocha
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    maybe they need someone to talk to. call them and listen to them until they calm down

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    Jana Czimmermannova
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Accually that is a good advice. You should not speak with affected person about the attack, the attack will take much longer. The best solution is to let it happen, without doing anything special, continuing the activity you did when in started.

    Edward Dwyer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That shyt ain't funny. I had an attack while walking through a grocery store after lunch with family. I thought I was about to die. Every went grey/black and my mother managed to guide me to a bench at the front of the store. Paramedics came etc. The weird thing was though that I was fixated on women's asses that walked by me. I wasn't thinking about sex, but it kept me going. Shrug.

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    #13

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    The happy frog
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well they didn’t say they were gonna wake up

    P.C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad when someone dies a gruesome, pitiful death at the hands of a bad guy (worth no more than c**p ugh some violent bad guys make me sick): “They’re just uh, sleeping. Yeah.” Me: “Yeah. They thought the cold concrete floor was a nice place to take a nap and uh, fell down a little to hard and cracked their skull open. They’re still alive though, totally. Just in a coma. But really, yeah, they’re sleeping.”

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    Moezzzz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How about... "rest in pieces"? Better?

    Abel
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    RIP the relationship.

    🩶🩷Marvin HoG🩷🩶
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Better than when an ex I had would say "curse you" instead of "bless you" when people sneeze. Because he's atheist. Like wtf mf-er my dad is a lifelong atheist and even he knows cursing is pretty much universally agreed upon to be bad and blessing someone is good and does not have to be religion based!

    v
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Would they rather they say rest in pieces?

    Charlie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rest in Pieces then?

    P.C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “I pray the Lord my soul to keep, and if I should…” help me finish this prayer please lol I forgot the rest but it’s something about not waking up, and wanting the Lord to keep your soul

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    #14

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Corvus
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Also, they told me their last wish was for you to donate $1000 to me."

    Monday
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Gifts are for living people, the dead cannot receive them. If you would like a portrait of them for commemoration purposes it's $15"

    TonyTee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Sorry to hear they died, I’ll draw a bouquet of flowers and send it to the funeral”

    Bill Richman
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *draws a mutilated body on a mortuary table*

    Ranidae
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Shoulda gone All out and said the person dIed texting the artist while driving 🙄

    HelluvaHedgehogAlien
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Get them to send a picture of the ‘funeral’.

    Randi (she/they/he)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As an artist we don’t welcome ppl like this

    Id row
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And they said you agreed to pay for his funeral in the form if itunes gift cards. We're going to need a lot of them.

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    When executed skillfully, sliding into someone's DMs becomes a gateway to forging connections, an expedited route to intimacy in the realms of dating, friendship, or flirtation. A well-crafted and timed private message, then, can also effortlessly set the stage for meaningful interaction which can morph into a job offer - just like it happened for Natalie Zfat, a well-known social media expert.

    "I was by sending a blind message on LinkedIn to the managing editor of Rolling Stones magazine. It was between 2006 and 2000, so it was very uncommon to get a message from someone you didn't know on LinkedIn at the time," she told Bored Panda in a Zoom call. A few weeks later, Zfat was on a plane boarding for New York City, where she landed an internship position at the magazine. "I do very much believe in the power of a DM because it's literally what helped launch my career."

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    #15

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Jane Doe
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was “cringe” in the title of this? Now it’s just. “wildest screenshots”

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    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not in the mood to play Truth or Dare.

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    #16

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Moezzzz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, maybe Chase lies, but them hips don't

    barn owls ️
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    to be fair, i was having a mental breakdown and i put on the mothman version of ymca and was crying and dancing to it

    Skyler
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've done that but with the chicken dance.

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    The Original Bruno
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NGL... If she was dancing like Shakira in "Torture," I'd be pretty terrrified. Especially since I just bought nice furniture. Take a shower first, Shakira.

    Shayne Randlett
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When someone offers to dance like Shakira for you, the answer is always YES!

    Loverboy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I mean of course I do but where'd that come from"

    Devil'sAdvocate
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this isn't cringe this is f*****g hilarious

    Nicole
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t know why but this one actually does make me cringe a little bit lmao !

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    #17

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    whaaaaaaaaaa
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The pfp is what gets me, you can see the search bar in it, that's amazing

    John Monteith
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As good as the Michael Jackson one. I’m not dead need money for new song. Hee hee

    P.C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hee hee. That reminds me. I wanna be cringe but… I also wanna blend in a little better, yknow? Would it be weird if I had P.C. (Hee/hee) ??

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    Shayne Randlett
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder if she'd take $10 just to get her started...

    Kat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's Rasputin by Boney M!

    O D
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Off to YouTube for an hour of old-school remixes!

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    Brian Leahy
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Blah blah yo-yo-ma….

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    Of course, when handled poorly, private text trespasses upon personal boundaries, violating the sacred space of the DM inbox. Which can eventually backfire, just as words do in real-life. "They say, 'Dance like no one's watching, email and text like it could be read in a deposition.' The same is true for DMs - you don't want to send anything that would be considered inappropriate or stalker-y," Zfat explained. 

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    #18

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Leolynn Cauthron
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bad English and the whole ‘incel’ vibe is very uninviting. Any second and he’ll burst into tirade about how ‘woman’s’ owe him attention and sex…

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If your name is Norbert, you always start out with an "N-O".

    A. Starhawk Hunt
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a very pleasant Norbert in the Harry Potter books. He's got a bad case of scaly skin, sad need of moisture.

    Id row
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My god, who would name their child Norbert? Probably a woman who never wants her baby boy to leave her or their home. Ever.

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    #19

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    StitchIsCuteAndFluffy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wouldn’t be surprised if I did… but that’s not the reason people tend to stay away from me. My badness level is unusually high for someone of my size.

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    Shayne Randlett
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rabies is bad enough on its own - having rabies n s**t but be awful!

    two-sided llama
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    omg me do to #rabies # wild #crazy #biting #FoamingAtTheMouth

    #20

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Loverboy
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait so you were the one who sent this? And you screenshot it and posted it?

    Cathelijne Van
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's probably sites where you can make these btw

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    Moezzzz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jeezus, I can barely handle the one I have, much less two. I don't know how Mormons do it....

    Then there's an unwritten rule in the realm of social media: thou shall stick to one platform unless explicitly invited. Nobody enjoys the experience of being subjected to relentless "social media stalking" across various accounts, right? As Zfat argued, "For someone you don't personally know you're reaching out to for the first time, you don't wanna ask a question on TikTok and then LinkedIn, and then Instagram - like for any other reason in life." In other words: that might come off creepy and weird, and we don't want that, do we? 

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    "If you want someone to respond to you, you need to keep it contained and easy to organize, and easy to keep track of," she suggested, "don't have like three conversations about the same topic in different places, especially with someone you don't know." And that includes 'Tindstagramming,' the creepy dating act where someone who was just rejected on a dating app tries to slide into that same person's DMs for a second chance. Yuck.

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    #21

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    The happy frog
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OH NO I DON’T WANT TO BE UNDER THE REST

    A B C the Third
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wanna be under the rest! And I wanna *stay* under the rest, especially in about 6h when my alarm goes off and I have to get up for work!

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    Ana Ferreira
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    See, now I'm sorry I'm not a UK citizen. I really need to be under some rest.

    sylvantic
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do so many scammers ask for iTunes gift cards? Who uses iTunes?

    Sean
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    maybe they sell them for cheaper? idk i use spotify (with ads)

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    Abel
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you dont pay you are average...

    LadyKing
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How many more will I be under?!

    Jenn Downey-Truax
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did anyone else read this in Starfire’s voice? Teen Titans, Go!

    Crazy Meerkat Lady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would recommend staying above the rest

    Leolynn Cauthron
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I haven’t gotten one like this yet. I can’t wait. I need to start a collection of these idiot scam texts.

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    #22

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    bluegal
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    RUSH (DOORS) IS THAT YOU?!

    OwenHasADHD
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    bruh. clearly not rush, rush ain’t got eyes

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    #23

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    weird_dms Report

    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    is it a man eating a bear or a bear eating a man?

    Trophy Husband
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooh, that's a good username... I've been thinking about how many other usernames are better then mine lately, but now people know me by this so instead of changing it, I just think "man, I should have thought of that one first." Then the ones with the best names or funniest comments I start to remember, so it's like I know you all, so I try to guess gender and county of origin!

    Random Dent
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do the same when I see a good username. I think yours is good though!

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    Persephone
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe the bear is trying to score some coke.

    two-sided llama
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    like promise candy first thats cannibal 101

    Nakus
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What I wanna know is how the heck did a bear learn how to use a cell phone?

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    As with most things in life, it's always worth remembering what's the end goal of your texting crusade. "I will be the first person to tell you this but if you are trying to forge an intimate connection with someone - you need to get off of social media as soon as possible," Zfat said. It's unwise to engage in a prolonged exchange regarding serious topics, be it a job interview or a romantic relationship.

    And while DMs serve as a promising starting point, she makes a good point that they are not a suitable medium for sustained or conclusive conversations. A face-to-face conversation is. "DMs are a good place to start, but it's not a good place to continue and certainly not to end a conversation. The goal is to take it offline."

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    #24

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Shayne Randlett
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I try not to judge, but what an odd hobby

    Loverboy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "baby father" never seen it said like that.

    two-sided llama
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my answer to everything is liek that"sorry im tired"

    Satan
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well that escalated quickly!

    Spocks's Mom
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Got nothing better to do. Might as well ruin some innocent person's life!

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    #25

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    cadena kuhn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once had a guy who would call each week to ask if my bf had been struck by lightning yet

    Brian Leahy
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How ‘bout now?

    #26

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Benita Valdez
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But how? Are they native to your area? You going to steal one? I must know

    Julie Snelling
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Glad they clarified I was thinking that's a bit personal

    Landithy
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Person A looks crestfallen. The peacock they just purchased honks consolingly.

    Jos de Hundt
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought a Pea C**k was a really tinny penis...

    JP Purves
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isn't the streaming platform Peacock+?

    starkey !
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    peacock? yeah thats what its for

    #27

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    The happy frog
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m crying of laughter thank you for your concern

    I think I’m hilarious
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nooooo I just realised this post isn’t talking abt Western Australia

    Niki B
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So funny. My kind of answer

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    #28

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Loverboy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is no wrong kind of ice cream.

    Tucker Cahooter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks like someone is trying out the same question they got at their job interview today

    The happy frog
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Triple Chocolate because I wanna be as sweet as possible but not in a weird way I didn’t mean it like that

    Skyler
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg I do that all the time

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    #29

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    weird_dms Report

    Paul Neff
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    auto-correct can reveal too much...

    Korean Boi
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ok, we did not need that- oh ok nvm

    Robert Beveridge
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean these are not necessarily mutually exclusive

    Diane the Dinosaur
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I miss the loads of clothes you used to wash for me.

    themusa101
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    eh he alr then if u were really wanted to correct it u would hv deleted the first message lmao

    #30

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Francis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    when you ask 15times in a row, her age will magically change to 18 :) that's how women work, right?

    Woundwort42
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you wait 6 months between each ask perhaps, by which time he'll be 29 and, probably, in jail

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    Betty Vanderhooven-SchmaaSchmaa
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This will be used as evidence in court, no doubt. Disgusting.

    Alyssa
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why are parents letting 10 yr olds having snap? And why are parents that neglectful that it’s allowing their 10 yr old children to add strangers to snap?

    Chris B
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't assume that the person is actually 10. This could simply be a reason to try and deter Dakota. It's pretty obvious that Dakota assumes the other person is joking, because of the lol and lmao comments.

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    Monday
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are you sure? If you're 18 or older we can chill sometime

    Gypsy Lee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But I'm a nice guy, are you 18 yet?

    Omima mimi miki
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she's 10 Dakota you can back off now

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    #31

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    The happy frog
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are you tax evasion? Because I’m committed to you 🥵

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    Loverboy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    is it sad that this is honestly the best pick up lines i've seen in a while? I would appreciate (what I hope is) a sense of humor.

    Iridian
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All right. I'll be the one. I don't get it.

    th-th-th-thea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HOW COME THE ONION EMOJI LOOKS SO REALISTIC

    Moo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...this would work on me-

    BM Khalid Hasan
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha! Decades ago, i sent this kinds of messages to some semi-familiar girls!

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    #32

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    weird_dms Report

    CORGI QUEEN
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never say I love you, it ruins it when you evidently break up. it hurts more

    I think I’m hilarious
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That sounds like a trauma response, rather than a healing response. Sounds like you’ve been thru some stuff tho, hope you’re doing ok :)

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    #33

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Woundwort42
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer, apparently

    P.C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I Wanna know how you were able to quote scripture without getting downvoted lol. Last time I tried that I got 23 downvotes, at least

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    #34

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Stardust she/her
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once got into my friend’s account with his permission and we were both using that account to talk to a mutual enemy at the same time so our convo with them looked like this

    P.C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “You suck.” “No I didn’t mean it like that, you are actually worse than anything I could describe.” “What she said.”

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    I just work here
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When multiple personalities fight for screen time..

    Loverboy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Appreciate the honesty but I'm going to have to pass. Unless you'll put me under your health insurance, that is.

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    #36

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Robert Beveridge
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So this is half of a group project, I'll put ten bucks on it

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    #37

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    whaaaaaaaaaa
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How is this cringe?? It's like "yeah I'm not doing great at all, however I still care about you and focus on your problems instead"?????

    xolitaire
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooooh, omg I totally misunderstood this whole conversation and thought person A thought person B ate the cat

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    Rustie Shackleford
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    maybe 1st message about the cat went unnoticed and she went off the handle trying to get a response by stroking the fire with that person who has a eating disorder....

    Aroace tiger (she/they/he)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    F*****g hell a lot is going on and I hope both people r doing ok

    Omima mimi miki
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hopefully she ate your cat - "friend"

    Shayne Randlett
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is their eating disorder that they like to eat cats?

    Cyber Returns
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I'm enjoying a chinese thanks

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    #38

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    weird_dms Report

    Corvus
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aaaah, now we're talking :D

    Salty.Hag
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was just about to say the same thing!!! XD

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    BetterBitterButter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh my! Knight in shining health insurance!

    Nakus
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell me you live in the US without telling me you live in the US

    🩶🩷Marvin HoG🩷🩶
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you have a brother who also has health insurance? Asking for a friend...

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    #39

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    weird_dms Report

    Loverboy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you asked me to have a horrible attitude?

    two-sided llama
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HOW DARE YOU HATE MUSIC BURN BLUE AT THE STAKE

    P.C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some people have a condition where they don’t respond to music or hear music like most people do. They either hate it, or have no reaction to it and would rather not

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    Grace <3
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    guys..let me just say. weed is disgusting

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    #40

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Cyber Returns
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry to say but I'm feeling a bit Alan

    xolitaire
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    John, high... it's all the same

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    #41

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    weird_dms Report

    BetterBitterButter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why were you going to feed them cheese?

    A Wild Bean (they/them/any)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because you can fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese (according to some other bp post from a while ago that everyone keeps quoting lol)

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    Moezzzz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Considering I see French at the top, yeah, this is about right. Nourris-moi du fromage de ton peuple, bébé

    Embla Jóhannesdóttir
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what kind of cheese where you going to feed them (dirty minded joke:)

    Erica D
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would 100% hang out with that person. All the cheese for me🧀

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    #42

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    weird_dms Report

    Phoenix(or nix)they/them
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would do this to my friends because we would think it's funny

    #43

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Iampenny
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd take that as a compliment ;)

    The happy frog
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We’re all weird in our own ways and it makes the world a lot funner

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    P.C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “WHY THANK YOU. BEST TWO COMPLIMENTS I’VE GOTTEN THIS MONTH. *curtsies* Encore? Shall I do an encore??”

    Lene
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was told this a lot when I was in my 20s. Lol. And yeah, it's a compliment, imo. I never felt pretty but I sure as H. felt weird a lot. Turns out I have been neurodivergent all that time. Haha! And well.... I was actually pretty in my 20s. Now I just look tired and fat (as a result of being a mom of 3 girls + comfort eating a LOT).

    zovjraar me
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    whenever people have told me i'm weird, i say thank you. i'd rather be weird than normal & boring.

    P.C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m both, lol. Weird and boring :P

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    Chexmy Licks🇯🇵
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i love this compliment uwgHkGWkhdbegkhcbkhwbskjhkwjdgvsjhjhbjhajgshgahgsagh

    Shayne Randlett
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to worry that people might think I'm weird, but now I think it's one of my best traits. I fly my freak-flag with pride, and so should you!

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    #44

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    weird_dms Report

    blobby_grrl
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How come the top op's text is blue and the bottom op's text is grey? I feel like this isn't real...

    P.C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OH. Maybe because the Apple Pay thing is gray, and maybe there was an option to add a message, which came with the Apple Pay message, also making it gray?

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    Donnie Mc00
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    im guessing he would have went all the way to two dollars.

    YTK
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Use it wisely though, it wasn’t easy to obtain”

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    Khavrinen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Darn, she really missed out. Could've had a whole two dollars if she'd picked right!

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    #45

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    weird_dms Report

    The happy frog
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Huh sorry didn’t see the picture I fell asleep

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    #46

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    weird_dms Report

    Loverboy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You have nice- uh well you have pretty- um you have a pretty cat, is he a tabby?

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    GASP! You're soooo superficial, only complimenting my cat on his PATTERN for his LOOKS! And no, he's a TUXEDO! ::sobs:: (joking)

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    Jared Dean
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your compliment? Ummm, you have great taste?

    TJ
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They said, thank you!

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    #49

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    cats_from_the_void
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I swear to god that I only want to talk to you about your car's extended warranty! Now open the DAMN WINDOW and LET ME IN!!! *waves your car's extended warranty threateningly*

    Monday
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *frantically barricading window* BUT I DON'T HAVE A CAR!

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    whaaaaaaaaaa
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well this is a tactic to test you're not talking to a robot so..

    Loverboy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lads, he's figured it out. when a scammer tries to talk to you, ask them to say on god.

    Trophy Husband
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooh, can we get recaptcha for text? Someone sends you something sus and you send them a recaptcha and they can't text you again until they rotate the little dog!

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    #50

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    RickyT
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Iraq my brains thinking of you.

    Corvus
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh wow, this is like pre-Covid stuff :D

    Psycho Princess
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This oddly sounds like it should be part of a rap song.

    P.C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mm, something NF would find a way to rap about, no doubt. Only if he experienced it though.

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    Isa's left eye
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had to reread it to pronounce Iran as eye-ran instead of ee-ron

    Walter Brameld
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People who use ironic repitition can go right back to hell.

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    #51

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

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    The happy frog
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How to make any conversation interesting

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    #52

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

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    #54

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Cyber Returns
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *Looks down toilet* "Oh good, they didn't appear in it again"

    Diolla
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yeah! Try it. Just try. Am waiting.

    xolitaire
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ewww why would you sh*t in someones dreams thats nasty

    Loverboy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thanks, I already have nightmares of you though.

    #55

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Cyber Returns
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope. They just don't like large bronze coloured people that make a noise when you hit them

    xolitaire
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, still trying to figure out what a gongeous is and wether or not I should be offended

    PunkRock*Bottom*
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have bpd...am I gongeous?

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    #56

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

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    #57

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    #59

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Woundwort42
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I was in the fridge, would you open the door? If I was the grass, would you mow your lawn? If I was your body, would you still wear clothes? If I was a booger, would you blow your nose? Would you keep it? would you eat it? I'm just tryin to give myself a reason, for being around. If I was the front porch swing would you let me hang? If I was the dance floor would you shake your thing? If I was a rubber check would you let me bounce Up and down inside your bank account? Would ya trust me, not to break you? I'm just tryin really hard to make you, Notice me being around. If I was a haircut would you wear a hat? If I was a maid, could I clean your flat? If I was the carpet would ya wipe your feet, In time to save me from mud off the street? If you like me, if you love me, Why don't you get down on your knees And scrub me? I'm a little grubby From being around.

    Crazy Cookie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’d put a stick in front of you, wait till you get on it, and take you somewhere random on the stick bus.

    Moezzzz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd burn you with a magnifying glass

    fifi.x
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    agreed. I wouldn't share my cake crumbs with ANYBODY

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    #61

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

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    #64

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

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    #68

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

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    #69

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    #70

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Cyber Returns
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *Throws stone at globe through window,* "World Rocked!"

    HardieBoysMama
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank you for the laugh. I snorted 🤣🤣🤣

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    xolitaire
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    when you have one pick up line and get stuck

    Tucker Cahooter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They had six months to think up something else to say and failed...

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    #72

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    Korean Boi
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thanks for loving and cause im mentally insane

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    #75

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    cats_from_the_void
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🎵Miku, Miku, you can call me Miku, Blue hair, blue tie, hiding in your wi-fi 🎵

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    #77

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    #78

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

    A Wild Bean (they/them/any)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They tried to send it to each of those people individually, and made a group chat instead

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    deejak
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think they sent that msg to like 28 people

    #79

    Hilarious-Weird-Dms

    weird_dms Report

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