Ah, a thunderstorm. The weather is absolutely gorgeous today! Shall we go for a walk?
If you constantly find yourself suppressing the urge to spit out sarcastic remarks to everyone you interact with, we’ve got the perfect list for you down below, pandas.
We’ve taken a trip to the Sarcasm Only Instagram account to find some of the best sarcastic memes that you might appreciate, so enjoy scrolling through these hilariously relatable pics. Keep reading to also find a conversation we were lucky enough to have with coach and mental health expert Andrea M. Darcy, and be sure to upvote the funny sarcastic memes that make you feel seen!
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And that's why there are no humans here... Dogs know better...
Load More Replies...My GSP breeder gave a 1st birthday pool party for the litter I got a dog from. 11 puppies in the litter, plus mom and maternal grandmother and maternal grandfather. What a blast and a perfect pool for it. One whole end was steps up and out.
I would fit right in because I can only doggie paddle as a swimmer...
Meet the Sarcasm Only Instagram Account
Sarcasm is a highly divisive style of speaking. For some of us, it’s become an uncontrollable impulse to reply sarcastically when anyone utters an obvious statement, but for others, it’s considered a rude and sharp way of communicating. We can understand both sides, but if you’re not a fan, please make way for the sarcasm fanatics! The Sarcasm Only Instagram account is the perfect place for those of us who just can’t help but reply with, “Yeah, right!” or “No waaay!” It’s a medical condition; we really can’t control it!
This popular page, which has shared over 21k posts and amassed a whopping 16.2 million followers, isn’t just about mocking others. It also posts hilarious self-deprecating jokes, sarcastic memes about life, and pics that all of us can relate to. So sit back, grab a snack, relax, and enjoy all of these memes that might make you feel bonded to your fellow sarcastic soul mates. Unless you’re looking at this while you’re working, then you should really take your time going through it. Otherwise, you’ll have to go back to work!
Then, instead of Child Fee it should be called "A sorry to neighbor" fee.
Load More Replies...I wish there was a sh*tty parent fee more than a kid fee! If you can't be a good parent and teach your kid/s respect for others, you should pay a fee!
Before I moved into my house, the stench of cat urine was so potent that the building surveyor had to put a warning in his report that the presence of it is dangerous for pregnant women.
But, wait... isn't the danger from the cat 💩, not the urine smell?
Load More Replies...Pet fees are for dogs because they tend to pee on the furniture etc especially if cooped up inside, and they bark randomly at stuff like shadows and birds on the window ledge... so ... the idea, as I understand it, is to discourage dog owners specifically.
Idk, my grandparents have to pay 50$ a month for a fish.
Load More Replies...Why Do People Love Sarcasm and Sarcastic Memes So Much?
To get to the bottom of why many people love sarcasm memes so much, we reached out to Andrea M. Darcy, a coach and mental health expert, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. First, Darcy explained that sarcasm on the internet and sarcasm in real life are two separate beasts. "Sarcasm on the internet is often just a kind of high end humor, a play on situations and words. It’s often very creative, and even a way to spread ideas that can be useful, and can highlight important political or societal issues we need to think about," she shared.
"And often people sharing sarcastic memes are not really the sarcastic type, they aren’t using that sort of humor in real life. We just see the immediate humor, mindlessly laugh and/or share, and move on," the expert added. "So where sarcasm is of more interest to me is when I come across someone who is consistently using it as a form of communication. Because that is what it really is, a warped way to communicate what is bothering us, or what we want, in a way that can unfortunately upset others."
There kind of is! But it's up to you to stop eating it as soon as you realize. Much easier said than done.
Load More Replies...Then, they would charge you extra calories if you enjoyed it too much. Karma is such an a*****e.
If the food makes you sick, you might get a calorie refund through puking.
Load More Replies...Yeah!!!! Also what about stuff you didn't eat cos you wanted to be good, so extra calories off
This is why "diet" foods and drinks taste like shite. They aren't better for you, but because they taste of lukewarm ar$e, your brain doesn't register them as a "treat", so no guilt.
Some diet stuff is worse for you. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3198517/
Load More Replies...It's called a finger, stick that in your mouth hole and 'ta da' problem solved!
Darcy went on to note that she actually doesn't think very many people use sarcasm in real life, as opposed to sharing hilarious sarcastic memes online. "There I find it’s quite a limited subset of people, as it’s really a humor that requires a certain type of thinking, a certain intelligence and creativity, and even a sort of arrogance, to make it really land," she explained. "I say arrogance as the hidden message behind sarcasm, whether we realize it or not, is, ‘look how much smarter I am than you’. Other forms of humor are more about, ‘look what we have in common’. So I see sarcasm as also a lonely form of humor. It places us above others looking down."
"As for whether sarcasm becomes a habit the more we use it, all humor does," Darcy continued. "Because it gets us attention. We see we made others laugh, and we get a little hit of connection. And that can feel addictive, particularly, as is often the case with sarcasm, if we are using humor because we are insecure or socially awkward otherwise. As humans we are driven to seek connection, it’s a primal drive, really. Not surprising as at one point connection upped our chances of survival. We needed the connection of a tribe to raise our likelihood of finding food and fighting off wild animals, etcetera."
You should wear a t-shirt that says "You're Welcome."
Load More Replies...I thought up the best insult but I didn’t want to lower your self esteem
People don't respect me enough for not screaming at the top of my lungs at them when I am angry.
Well tbf you are an angry unicorn, is hard to take it seriously lol
Load More Replies...Be glad I didn’t say that really mean thing (an you know it was harsh because I am too tired and annoyed to care anymore)
They don't comprehend the level of restraint I put in place at the beginning of every meeting, every shopping trip, every parent-teacher encounter....
"For me, sarcasm often says a person grew up in a home where they weren’t given enough love, support, and attention for who they were," the expert went on to explain. "Either they were criticized, or they were overlooked, or they were only given attention if they were interesting, funny, or good. When we aren’t fully accepted and supported as kids, we create masks that make us feel safe. Defense mechanisms. That we carry into adulthood. Sarcasm can be just that, a defense mechanism."
"Sarcasm tends to be the humor of choice of those who are insecure but also very smart," Darcy noted. "Perhaps even sidelined a bit by others as they were smart. You see it takes a certain intelligence to be a master of sarcasm. Sarcasm can give a smart, awkward type some social credibility."
"But it also says someone is defensive," she added. "Sarcasm is also a form of defensiveness. People using sarcasm a lot are often doing it as deep down they feel criticized, so they criticize back in a funny way. They deflect and project. So those who always use sarcasm can be hiding that they are actually quite sensitive."
Merge day 1 and 2 and you'll have two days of Victorian wasting disease ;)
Why not 3 day weeks instead? Now we’ll have 2 more days of staying in bed as if we have a Victorian wasting disease.
Darcy explained that sarcasm and sarcastic memes can also hide anger and an inability to show anger in healthy ways. "[It] is the passive aggressive person’s humor of choice," she told Bored Panda. "Instead of being clear on what is bothering us and what we want, we couch it in sarcasm. We say, 'No, don’t worry, I just love having to wait half an hour every time we meet up, it fills my heart with joy to sit alone in a restaurant looking like a leper.' What we really want to say is, 'Hey, it makes me anxious when you are always late, it makes me kind of angry, can we find some sort of solution for this.'"
And according to the expert, sarcasm is not always appropriate, as it can be very hurtful. "The trouble is that we can be so addicted to sarcasm, and so reliant on it to communicate, that even when we know if we let it fly it will upset the other, we just can’t stop ourselves. And we say something that implies the other is stupid, or flawed, that gives the impression we know better than them, and they pull away from us. And we might feel bad about it, but out comes the sarcasm again, to cover up our vulnerability."
Same. Now where did I put my headphones....
Load More Replies...Or walk into the room and forget what you went into there for.
Load More Replies...ya know that one meme that says "Nothing is lost until Mom loses it" Yeah, my mom swore up and down that I had lost my high school diploma. I had intentionally given it to her so I wouldn't lose it when I got off the stage. We argued over that until she was killed last June. I found it this past year while cleaning out her house in HER dresser. I'm 44 and graduated high school in 1997
Every damn time. New hack: take a photo of the very important thing, in it's new place, and name the file as 'very important thing' so it's searchable on your computer. I do this, except for the part where I'm organised enough to transfer the photos to the laptop and rename them. Plus, then I run out of space, and delete the photos from my phone.
Make a list of where you put those things and then be sure to put the list in a place you’re sure to remember where you put it.
I'm not so good at the second part of that, though I think I regularly ace the first. Unfortunately I can't find the evidence.
Load More Replies...What really bothers me is when I distinctly remember seing what I am looking for somewhere one of these last days, but cannot recall where.
In 1978 we moved to Toronto. It wasn't until the following summer that I remembered that hubby had put all of our fishing rods up in the rafters in the basement. 45 years folks, and it still resonates. Funny thing is I googled that address and found that the last time this property sold was in 1978 for $55,000. So what do you say? The same folks own the house, could I just go knock on the door and ask for them since I moved back to the West Coast? Just checked the value of that house is now $1.2 million.
And while there are obviously healthier and less abrasive forms of communication, Darcy explains that it isn't always easy to break the habit if someone has been relying on sarcasm for ages. "I often find that when people hooked on sarcasm work on recognizing who they are without the sarcasm, at communicating without it, they often aren’t even people that invested in humor, oddly. All along it was just a defensiveness over a true desire to be funny."
"Sarcasm can also be a way to communicate frustrations we have with other people, or to point out how they continually don’t meet our needs," the expert added. "So the true alternative becomes learning how to communicate in a straightforward, non violent way what is upsetting us and what our needs and feelings are. Which, of course, takes far more courage than being sarcastic and is a learning curve that can take some time."
dunno, maybe throwing that dried and crumpled, on "the chair"?
Load More Replies...Nope. Not even close. There are many "pick clean clothes from the laundry bag days" in between.
Wear clothing items multiple days in a row; that makes laundry day much more manageable.
It's when you move the clean clothes from the wash room to the "clean pile" section of the bedroom. 😉🤣
Load More Replies...Laundry washing day is a week from laundry folding day(s) is several days from laundry putting away day
"The trouble is that sarcasm is a barbed humor. So it attracts people as it’s funny, but it also slightly pushes them away," Darcy went on to warn. "And in fact leaves others slightly scared, worried they’ll be the next target. It’s what I personally classify as ‘lonely humor’. As it gives the user little moments of seeming connection, but also keeps others at arm’s length."
"So when I work with clients who always resort to sarcasm, I am immediately fascinated to understand what the drive behind it is," the expert explained. "What is the need for the sarcasm ‘wall’? What would it feel like to drop that wall and all their defenses, and be open and vulnerable to others again? Now that you are no longer that kid who doesn’t quite fit in and has to be funny to be liked but an adult with personal power? What if you don’t really need sarcasm anymore, even, you just think you do?"
WHY BP, WHY on EARTH would you JUST censor the Y in Tuesday, but NOT the rest of it. this makes NO sense WHATSOEVER, I AM DOWN TO MY LAST BRAINCELL!!!!! WHY does it make ANY sense to censor ANY of Tuesday AT ALL!?!?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
maybe they think it looks like a d**k?? idk😭
Load More Replies...I don't think I'd be able to shop for others, I'd overthink everything
"What I often find is that many people who rely on sarcasm are deep down bored of it, even exhausted by it, but that they don’t know how to stop the endless quips, how to drop the defensiveness that sarcasm has become," Darcy says. "On a certain level, it’s unconsciously being used to keep them feeling safe in the world, and they need to recognize they are an adult with personal power who actually is safe already, without the sarcasm."
If you'd like to hear more words of wisdom from Andrea M. Darcy, be sure to visit her website right here!
I do not mess with those crystal meth addicts, saying something smart a*s like that could get you killed , or possibly just robbed.because you forgot to.." Know your Audience." First rule for blabber mouths that want to get ripped to shreds. I keep my smart a*s remarks down in the presence of danger. *******
I was skimming Reddit and saw a post..."I tried crystal meth for the first time the other day..." WHY? Are people still subject to peer pressure? And/Or do they not watch/read the news?
I’m a simple possum. I see a family member of mine,I upvote
I think my body would add the calories on to both days, just to be careful.
Load More Replies...You all are forgetting that you get all 4 food groups with pizza so you are really eating a well balanced diet it you choose your toppings carefully.
At 125 miles above earth, gravity is 94% of what it is on earth, so you need to calculated what percentage of your body weight the pizza added and just float at the appropriate height to compensate. You're welcome.
The opposite is being on the toilet between 11:59pm and 12:00am. Same shït, different day.
LapCat, that cracked me up! It's a good thing I'm alone, cos I'm sitting on the sofa making very weird squeaking noises for laughter.
Load More Replies...Are There Any Benefits of Using Sarcasm?
According to Francesca Gino at Scientific American, there may be some surprising benefits to using sarcasm, aside from the fact that it can keep people who annoy you at bay. Many communication experts and marriage counselors caution individuals to steer clear of using sarcasm, as it can be perceived as rude or offensive at times, but according to research, these ironic remarks and sarcastic memes about life can also boost creativity. Gino and her team found that participants in a study who engaged in sarcastic conversation fared better on creativity tasks than those who engaged in sincere or neutral dialogues.
Me running like crazy to catch the train as if there wouldn't be another one 10 minutes later
You'd be at home on the London Underground. People crowdsurfing down escalators, headbutting old ladies to the ground, racing not to miss the 5.15 to Charing Cross because there won't be another till 5.17.
Load More Replies...Hey, I like my house. All my stuff is there. Especially wine 🍷
Me feeling like I have to rush through any shopping to get home, no reason.
Why is it that sarcasm can help boost our creativity? Well, Gino explains that the brain has to work a little harder to understand or interpret a sarcastic meme or comment, so it can lead to clearer and even more creative thinking. We have to decode the contradiction between tone and the actual words said, so we can’t just take a sarcastic remark at face value. However, sarcasm also has the power to damage relationships, if used inappropriately, so it’s important to only utilize this tool with individuals who we have healthy relationships with. Gino’s research also found that sarcasm can lead to conflicts if it’s used by people we don’t trust, and even when used by someone we love, we should be careful not to be too critical or harsh.
Imagine my life choices being so bad that I could make a weeping angel depressed... Hello, suicide hotline?
Load More Replies...I can hear the heavy sigh. They right. But I watch fail compilations with giggles all the time... Maybe that's how demons are made. Like--the guardian angel just keeps facepalming until they throw hands up and go, "You know what? Go for it."
Mine would be a male angel screaming and pulling his hair in frustration.😁
Some days I imagine mine is probably trying not to pull his or her hair out while begging God to knock some sense into me! I’m grateful he or she probably has days that aren’t all that challenging, too!
This is nonsense! That is actually me after my passing when I realized that I fell for a life-scam of my "guardian angel", when he promised me highly and holy that I will get the second wing directly after my arrival on the other side. Now, I might probably hang around here forever, unable to fly...
Mine always look like I was born when photography was first invented... 🙄
Someone shows you a pic of their baby "oh yeah it looks just like every other baby!"
Or square pictures with rounded edges (instead of rectangles).
Load More Replies...😂 I’m 30 some thing and I’m genuinely surprised by how clear and sharp many of my childhood photographs still are!
15! HIIIIIIII AGAIN LOL. WE should be friends. or not lol
Load More Replies...I literally tried to give up at work on Thursday!!! I work from home. I typed in Teams chat "That's it, I give up!!". My supervisor came back and posted a meme of a judge in robes, at the bench say, MOTION DENIED."
Read an article where you take your net wealth and divide it by the estimated number of days left in your life. If you can survive on that amount per day then you're good to drop out of the rat race.
I did that forever ago, happy to inform u it's really nice
As popular as sarcasm memes are around the globe, not everyone perceives it the same way. Brits, for example, are known for being extremely polite to strangers, yet incredibly sarcastic to friends and loved ones, as poking fun at one another is seen as a way to express affection. And even in the United States, not everyone can take a funny sarcastic meme the same way. According to a study that compared college students from upstate New York with students from Memphis, Tennessee, students up North were far more likely to use sarcasm with one another than those in the South. In fact, 56% of Northerners considered sarcasm to be funny, while only 35% of the Southerners thought the same.
I just did that today when I cancelled a shoe store message. I bought one pair of shoes and now they want me to buy a different pair every day!
Throwaway email accounts (or forwarders). Use a different one for each company you deal with, and delete it when you're tired of hearing from them.
I have several. One for company offers ( coupons etc ). One for legitimat business ( bank, utilities) . One for social.
Load More Replies...And spending some time outdoors = putting gas in the car.
Load More Replies...It’s sad, like soo sad, despite being of age we also have a senior dog with separation anxiety, we have to take him with us for the car ride, then I run in the market like the game show supermarket sweep while my husband waits in the car with Jerry, when we have my son watching him, we get dressed up to go to the market like we’re on a date
Sad that my tea just shot out my nose, sprayed my phone and ruined my clean sheets because of the relatability of this comment.
Yes... they are... depending on your mood it can be exciting to go outside to buy milk, or it can be your only dose of socialize in the whole winter.
Who says you can't have fun inside? Let's play bingo fellow 80s!
For me having fun is watching the black and white 1940's pride and prejudice...
And pull yr damn pants up - what's wrong with you kids these days?????
..Have fun now. Laugh today. I have learned that in my older age. The quote "Seize the Day." was written for us oldsters to remember to Enjoy ourselves. Not to dwell on the past which we can not change. We can change just for today. See what happens. I live alone so the worst for me is catching up on the dishes and the housework if I give myself a day off. For myself, it is worth the extra effort.
Teens in particular tend to love using sarcasm and sarcastic memes about life, to tell their parents how cool they are or how much they appreciate having a curfew and restrictions on screen time. But according to the BBC, this sass, as annoying as it may be, can actually be perceived as a sign of intelligence. Little kids don’t understand sarcasm, as they have to grow and develop to realize that not everything should be taken literally. But if your teen is an avid user of sarcasm, you can be proud of the fact that they’re experimenting with language, humor and, of course, they’re smart enough to understand that humans don’t always mean what they say.
Why didn't she just stand facing the wind? It solves the hair problem.
As a bald woman i need no support. People will stop to look at my head tattoos though.
I am all for friends and support, but a scrunchie will literally do this job
Sometimes when you need a scrunchie most they are nowhere to be found
Load More Replies...my bestie would either laugh while i attempt to eat the donut or would hold my hair back, there is no in-between.
what happens when it's just down to the two ladies? Who gets the donut?
I remember being in Prep (US Kindergarten I guess) and thinking the Grade 6 kids (all of 12, tops) were full blown adults
I remember being in preschool and thinking that SECOND GRADERS were TERRIFYINGLY large lol
Load More Replies...I'm 48, I still say I don't know what I want to be when I grow up
Load More Replies...I see people driving today who am very sure are perfectly legally allowed to drive and all I can think is "Where are their parents? What's going on????"
Because we grew up watching shows like 'Friends' LYING LIARS LIES LIES MCLIARSONS
Went to our neighbors son's high school graduation a few years ago. Heard a kid gleefully saying “I'm free!” afterwards. Ha, sure you are.
Thursday, work from home, off at 5:30. 5:45 Three Musketeers. 6:00 meds and beds. I'm 59. Yep, can't wait till I'm 60!!
I eat, watch TV, then, fall asleep sitting up. My neck hates me now ..
Sarcasm can even be a healthy and harmless way for teens to let off steam. It can be a coping mechanism that can make the stress of school (or the stress of simply being a teen) more bearable. In fact, one study found that depressed and anxious individuals began using sarcasm memes even more frequently during the course of the Covid-19 pandemic, as their fears needed to be channeled somewhere.
I got my first salary this summer... I ordered a new viking dress... halp
I see your dress and raise my inflatable t-rex costume. Best.stupid. buy.ever!
Load More Replies...I just spent 300 euro on doctors, analyses and examinations but i just HAD to order those lion king stickers
Maria, you would need them if you had to spend on doctors, etc. Lion king stickers might be the best medicine.
Load More Replies...Whenever stressed about money I like to buy things, I did not know I needed.
With me, it's usually kitchen gadgets or cookware. I could probably supply a commercial kitchen with the stuff I have.
When I’m eating pizza with a movie, I’m done before the companies are even done. It’s so annoying because I know at that rake I’ll be done with an entire pizza befor the movie is even half over
Yes you must spend an hour to find your show first then get your food otherwise the food gets cold and lumpy and there's nothing to find
(please someone understand this) Scythe Goddard be like:
Load More Replies...But as we all know, we have to tread lightly when it comes to sarcasm and use it wisely. Licensed Mental Health Counselor Anthony D. Smith writes for Psychology Today that folks who use sarcasm too often might also harbor passive-aggressive characteristics and be incapable of genuinely expressing their emotions. Sarcasm and funny sarcastic memes especially, can be a fun tool to use, but when we utilize it constantly to avoid true intimacy or being honest with ourselves and others, it might be time to scale back on the ironic jokes.
It's probably the ghost of my cat. If it's anything else, my ghost cat will probably deal with it.
Load More Replies...True crime jas taught me ain't nothing gonna save me anyway...I'm just gonna pretend to be dead
Me seeing someone tryin to rob my house: .... Burglar:..... Me: Wrong house, bro. Better luck next time.
Is this list making you realize just how much sarcasm is pumping through your veins, pandas? We hope you’re enjoying these hilarious sarcastic memes, and feel free to share your best snarky remarks with us in the comments below! We just love it when you insult us! Keep scrolling through these pics, and then when you’re finished with this list, be sure to check out Bored Panda’s last article featuring the Sarcasm Only Instagram account right here!
I once struggled to find a polite alternative to "wtf are you even talking about?" during a meeting... all I could come up with was "I have no idea why you just said that"
What the email says: Just to clarify, did you mean XYZ? What's in your mind: What the f**k are you saying?
Schrödinger's friends are a thing. They exists when they need you and they don't when you need them.
Or they say when your in the hospital: "if you need anything......". But when you call they are to busy, I hadn't planned to go out today, can't someone else do it.....All I needed was someone to go 1 and 1/2 miles down the road to get my meds from the pharmacy when I got home. I had 1/2 my colon removed. Cancer. After a day and a half of asking, I got dressed, walked two blocks to catch the bus in 40 degree weather. Went and picked up my medication. You sure know who your "friends" really are.
Load More Replies...Not sure I understood it, but somehow I relate to it so bad. So many people I like and SO few people I can count on
I have so few people as “friends” that I get along with, and next to zero on people I can count on TvT It’s like… I like This perdón, i admire them, but thats it. Admire them from afar and if they come near you, stammer and go blank on what to say so you seem like the most boring person in the world.
Load More Replies...I have a friend that's not exactly a friend because I will text them out of nowhere and they will answer me. I ask them lots of things about romance( I don't know a lot about romance) and they'll answer me honestly. Best friend but non-friend I've ever had
I have so many like that...My parents have started questioning if I actually have friends and I have started questioning my existence in this world As a teenager they say they're your friends and all they ever need u for are notes and other favours. I'm just merely existing amongst s****y human beings
My sis is friends with everyone she meets unless they’re mean to her, and she likes to think I don’t have any except one or two. Little do they know I have at least 2 forbidden friends… my sis always embarrasses herself when she finds me talking to someone and goes “awwww Im so proud of you” like I’m suddenly BFFs with the people I’m talking to… she’s younger than me
Load More Replies...I have no friends. Except, when I do. ... it's complicated.
It's best if you don't say/type that word. The one that ends with w.
Load More Replies...Or when adults ask you really enthusiastically "How was school?"when we get home from school. If you want to spend time with your kid don't ask them about the one thing that 95% of kids hate. Just ask us literally anything else.
So, Pink Princess, how was school?
Load More Replies...This picture!!! So Real! If I copy it and send it to friends, they'll think it's ME!
I'm looking for my next job and for some reason, people think they can call at 7, 8, 9 etc. AM as if I'm awake waiting for job return calls since they are at work and making those calls. I'm unemployed b#$%h! I want a job but I don't set my alarm every day hoping/waiting for a job call. Don't get me started on the East Coast jerks calling me when I'm in PST time.
Dude I don't know how I try to explain this to my "got wake up early all the time" partner...I AM NOT NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN NOR WILL BE A F*****G MORNING PERSON"!!! YOu get what you get before 10am and trust that i will be fine later much later
Yeah, like in my warehouse. All the germans and other white people are grumpy and the corners of their mouths hang to ground, while the african guys are already laughing and making jokes at 5:30 am.
I literally, sit in my room, in my rocking chair, curtains drawn, with my coffee, and my phone. Praying, no one enters until that first cup is empty! Do Not Enter, and do not talk to me!
Especially if you insure your pet for less than $20 a month.
Load More Replies...It's cheaper for my spouse not to work during the week and stay home with our kids than it would be for them to work full time.
Daycare is $1600 a month. Then factor in supplies, field trips, bake sales, forced volunteer events, introvert nightmares, and feigning interest in the worst people. But I digress, congratulations are in order!
I'm the opposite. I get overly sentimental and attached and then my mum yells at me for wanting to keep things.
Just tell her that sentimentality is wonderful, and keeping things are precious. Then the zinger, just finish with, "see mom, I kept you didn't I?"
Load More Replies...Packing is a great way to discover that none of your clothes for anymore.
Not packing, but moving. That's when you discover you own an Everest of rubbish and you start feeling envious for those nomad tribes who make do with a tunic, a tent, a wooden bowl and a rug.
I'm usually stuck between - 'Worry to forget smth important' and 'Oh hell, I need nothing!'
I used to put out potential legal fires (as in, someone could get hurt if we don't fix this) they laid me off. Now I'm like ^^.
I warned my landlord about the leak in the ceiling in my bathroom. No one would believe me, because the leak is next to the stairwell. No one's bathroom, or puppies are in that area. Skip to 6 years later; drywall mud,in ceiling has almost all fell off into the bathtub (yes, I always clean it up!), Wall in shower is starting to rot. He patched the ceiling a few days ago. Not going to fix interior! Jacka$$!
H/W and Network support yells: "We need to get rid of these old out-of-warranty servers! Who owns them?" rest of org: ***silence**** H/W and Network support yells: "Are there any services still needed on them?" rest of org: ***crickets chirp**** H/W and Network support yells: "Hello?" rest of org: ***tumbleweeds*** *servers are disconnected from network* rest of org: *spontaneous three-ring circus eruption*
I was once given a "spare" computer to use as a test server. Until I hooked it up to the network and we discovered it was an old dns server.
Load More Replies...The amount of guilt tripping staff at my school holiday program were put under when the rostering person stuffed up, not having enough people on or not rostering breaks correctly was ridiculous! Not our fault you didn't listen to us in the weeks beforehand about our available times!
Load More Replies..."As pursuant to my email of (two weeks ago), the damage to company property occurring (yesterday) was identified and forewarned against before production began. The quotations in the previous email's attachment are still are valid for another 4 weeks per vendor. Awaiting approval to purchase replacements." I wish I could say I've written less than 10 of these kinds of emails, but I would be lying.
When I quit Sears because of the idiocy of my working situation, I told them the company had no idea what they were doing and would be going under. Three months later Sears ceased to exist. No surprise to me.🤔🤨
Well, let me point out that this point is a point we all eventually very pointedly point out to each other with our pointers, but without pointing fingers at anyone who might not take our point very well. Get the point?
Thank you, I learned a new word today. “Anything that is not Euclidean geometry.” And now I will have to research what Euclidean geometry is.
Load More Replies...tomorrow's just a day away but ItS AlWAyS a DaY AwAy
Load More Replies...Omg this is me every day. I feel so guilty about it too. My life has fallen apart
Me too. If I can accomplish one thing per day, it was a successful day. Even if I do that one thing at 11PM.
Load More Replies...Why is this me?! why do I always fall for people who need therapy? is this normal?
I dunno 😟 I fall for them too I think… except for this annoyingly perfect dude who might as well be an angel for all I know!!! Well… maybe I don’t? I fall for… guys Who look scary on the outside but are soft and squishy on the inside??? Something like that. I think It’s nice to like people who need help because you can be the one to help them with unconditional love
Load More Replies...was literally just dumped by tall man who needs therapy- can confirm (<- crying)
tall fictional men who are probably gay but are also villains and seem to flirt with everyone
My mom hates that sometimes I work from home (we don't live together, not even in the same city!) and she says she prefers that I go to the office because I need to "socialize more" 😭 (edit to add: I'm 47 😭😭)
"socialize more" wtf?? you're an adult. if you wanna socialize you can, but if you don't want to, you don't have to. you're not a 504 accomodation kid who was dragged into the school cafeteria by the counselor who is now forcing random kids to come talk to you (this was me). if she tries to actively control you, talk to her about it at length.
Load More Replies...My mom actually did this one time. She was older and we lived together so I could help out. One day I got a migraine so bad I wanted to pound my head against the wall. I’m in a dark room unable to move and even breathing makes it hurt more. My mom called into work for me to tell them I couldn’t come in. (Get this! I’m a nurse. Hospitals don’t care if you’re sick) The charge nurse asked “Well can’t she take a couple of Tylenol and come in?” The call went downhill from there.
I have considered doing this when my anxiety has been bad, but in the end decided the anxiety about what they would think if I did was worse, so I just sucked it up and went to work because I couldn't see another way out.
If you are actually that person - knock it off. (Relative) used to routinely blast us (other relatives) with everything that pissed them off that day. So you'd get talked at angrily even if they were not angry with you. That s**t is soooo draining. Go scream into a pillow or the woods. For clarity - I'm not talking about denying honest conversation / feedback. I'm talking about being the victim of rage venting on a near daily basis.
😂 I am so grateful have come a long way from that but I have definitely had those days and laugh at myself now…
Reading is free… there are libraries and I have a library at the mall where they take donations and sell books for like a dollar or two each…
Load More Replies...My fave time of day: I've just gotten into bed and achieved maximum comfort. My two dogs are lying next to me. I've picked up my book and reoriented myself as to where I am in the plot. The horrors of the day fade away. Anxiety about tomorrow is on mute. Life is good.
Do you live to sleep or sleep to live? For me: Sleeping to live another day where I will continue sleeping
There should be some kind of sleeping Olympics. Prizes and everything. I wouldn't win. As much as I love sleeping, my mom said I didn't sleep much as a child and noting has changed in 40 years. I'm still good to go to work on 4 hours.
Isn't that the same thing? Me: How was work? Friend: About 4 litres of Jack Daniel's Me: That rough eh? I will pop it over
ok but I have to rephrase...this musing ...I never ask my friends off the bat about work. I would rather give them an Invite.to "bring your own bottle" ( think high school) and I will supply the music and cards. maybe some chips unless "somebody" wants to do that too. So are you coming? and no this is not a work meeting.
"How was work?" is the same as "How was school?" Probably the same as yesterday. If anything exciting happened I'll tell you.
As much as you can bring.. can't be picky or be enough with my work
I just have enough belly fat to do the same... cost me more than this sh#t tho
wait... thats kinda cute. I could probably use an off-white one of these and a mushroom-cap-hat thing and look like a mushroom
Aside from having to pee, I don't think I'd want to take it off.
Am I the only one thinking of the giant blueberry girl in W***y Wonka? Only this berry has spoiled...
Sometimes It’s a near death experience for me to not be needy… I’m just like “yeah, it’s fine” and next thing I know I’m choking and my neck hurt because I didn’t test it out better before I said I was fine… and then they didn’t even fix it probably because I said it was fine UNTIL the fact and they’re like “no girl, you said it was fine. Stick it through.”
Load More Replies...Exactly. I’m completely content. Because I’m not striving for anything or seeking challenges. Not good.
Same condition. But i think it has both good and bad outcome. I prefer to weigh most of the good it gives me.
Load More Replies...Eeeeeh…. Guilty. If I had to choose, I would rather be stuck in a cycle of people pleasing than be perceived as needy ever! Thankfully, it’s possible to treat others well and advocate for oneself when it’s needed!
Teach me, oh great one. After years of people pleasing, I am finally setting boundaries. Everyone is calling me selfish.
Load More Replies...Me when someone asks if I wanna go to a quiet room to read: “Huh? Oh, It’s fine. I Can read With a jackhammer…” *someone screams* me: c**p I should’ve moved when I had the chance-
I don't think I've ever read something more relatable!
Load More Replies...Me too…and that’s exactly what I got. Now I just get whatever I want. Perks of being 75 and single.🤨
Honest offic-slur I haven't had a drink to drop. I don't drink anymore (I don't drink any less either).
Eating the entire popcorn bucket before the movie begins vibes
I hadn't flown in a while and stopped into an airport bar for a Bloody Mary. The bill came and it was $23 USD! It's way cheaper to drink on the plane.
Thankfully I'm tee total but still end up spending ridiculous amounts of money at airports
"I have squirting diarrhea that is burning like Hell fire and pealing the skin off my a**s with each passing and I feel like death warmed over, but you are more that welcome to come in. I Crave company and what I really need is a great big bear hug. I really haven't had the touch of another human being in three years as I haven't left the house because of the quarantine. Of course I had to choose taco bell for my first meal out. Hello? Are you still there?
"You're welcome to come in, but you have to take your pants off like I did"
Same!!! Usually I just say silent because the door's locked anyway. It's still such an awkward situation. Also I was listening to a song as I typed this and I typed to the rhythm of the song. Does anyone else do this???
I was listening to I WONT Back Down And it was appropriate to my answer. I Also do this while going up and down stairs?
Load More Replies...provided hammer, nails and lumber. Hammer goes first
Load More Replies...Go and try page 57 of the Kama Sutra by yourself. Was trying to explain this to a Swiss friend. Guy at the next table spluttered his coffee out through his nose. I said "Great, you understood me. Can you explain it in Swiss German, please"
Took me along time to realize how powerful the word No is. I'm not afraid to say it and I know that you want tell people off and curse. But just a simple no has helped me so much. I know there is a guilt sometimes times when you say this, especially with family. But for me and my well being, No is not a difficult thing for me to say anymore.
Exactly. If you try to explain your rstional for saying no, they have in to argue back. If you raise your voice and scream, you are being mean. "No" leaves no wiggle room.
Load More Replies...A dangerously accurate theme song from my 20s, lol!!
Load More Replies...Jose Cuervo, you are a friend of mine! I like to drink you with a little salt and lime!
To my body tequila=to kill ya. we are no longer friends. But it took a looong time to break up.
Alice knows what she's doing - she's already getting into position ;)
What’s the rhyme? “Wine before liquor will make you sicker. Liquor before wine, you’ll be fine”. Do I have that right?
I heard it on a tv series as 'Beer before liquor, never be sicker. Liquor before beer, your in the clear.' Never heard it in real life though.
Load More Replies...Or chocolate. I generally react very positively to chocolate. Although technically that could be categorized as a food...
Load More Replies...im both sides of this conversation tbh. im emotional but i dont know how to handle other people's emotions even if they're literally the same as mine
Different mindsets, different mindsets.. women and men were each given advantages and drawbacks. Both can be either very observant or lacking in it…
Load More Replies...Ice cream and comfortable shoes? Gimme! Oh yes and I am currently crocheting, since you asked
Less Starbucks and avocado toast and being rich Daddy's special little girl and cutting back on sushi really helped! /s
Ikr, like where did you get this pic of me? I don't remember giving anyone permission to use this photo.
Load More Replies...She married him and shock! Surprise! He abuses her, too. I pray for her safety every single day.
Load More Replies...Me laughing inside as I remember her violent mood swings, overly possessive jealousy and bat sh*t crazy unintelligible screaming rants
Good luck to both of 'em... One of 'em will need it more than I do now!
Couldn't be happier for him, actually! He's a good person, we just stopped being good together and grew apart. Deeply sorry that me leaving him hurt him so much, and wish him the best in life.
I always dream that people hate me and they start yelling at me. I wish I could dream something else but it’s not happening
I used to dream about coding. PL/SQL specifically. Retired from programming and now dream mostly about people interrupting me or otherwise preventing me from doing what I want/ need to do. Dreams are brain lint. Everything you ever saw, thought, heard goes into a mental Cuisinart and comes out as a weird dresm.
I'm just living life comforting myself by saying"You get to die at the end"
Load More Replies...I once said during a Friday meeting, just for fun, that whoever schedules meetings for Mondays and Fridays is probably a communist. And for some odd reason I hardly ever get meeting invites for Mondays or Fridays anymore. Same for my colleagues. So, Happy Monday!
I did this when my ex claimed he never insulted me about how I kiss lmao
I think it was for a sponsored giveaway to be fair… but that doesn’t make them as a family any better 😂
Load More Replies...who needs to pay that money for therapy when you could spend that exact same amount of money on manga and stickers and posters and pillows and blan-
Load More Replies...Taco Bell. Unlike many who suffer consequences from this place, I have negative results from the golden arches instead. Go figure.
me too! I don't like Mcd, their breakfast is the only thing I'll eat there, unless I'm backed up, then a burger will do, not for taste but medicinal purposes!
Load More Replies...I know what I want to eat, and only go to places that have it on the menu. An elderly cousin wants to take me out to dinner and is horrified by the list of foods I can't/won't eat and places that I can't even go into due to the stench. I suggested a picnic in the local park, each bringing their own food. How uncouth
I would pick full time job, will to live and replace sex life with love life.
I'll take fridge, will to live, and job. Fridge may later be replaced with sex and/or love life, depending on whether or not I remain single.
Load More Replies...Obviously, you haven't been in a relationship for very long.
Load More Replies...Not when you get yelled at while trying to communicate, because he thinks you have done something wrong, Yeah.. Tried to speak to you,.
I want to upvote this multiple times!
Load More Replies......and that is how stalkers are made.Play stupid games and then blame him for getting it wrong.
Don't quite think that stalking is in the same category as what is at worst an emotionally immature response to an argument. It could be that they are really hurt by what has happened. Perhaps the argument leading to the situation was something that you're too selfish/prideful/stupid to admit to being at fault, yet they are trying to give you a chance to realise it. Needing space to figure out if the relationship with the someone who you love, and you thought loved you back, is worth trying to repair, is no small consideration. It changes the rest of your life. Then there are those who really are just playing emotionally manipulative games. If you were in a relationship with them and don't fall in the selfish/prideful/stupid category, you would know that. All the more reason to stay away from them. - - There is NEVER an excuse for stalking someone. I sincerely hope that your comment was sarcastic, because otherwise you need serious help.
Load More Replies...I have a Samsung galaxy. I actually love it because it uses the same kind of charger as the laptops my school gives everyone, so any time I need to charge my phone I just ask if anyone has a computer charger
Which is android, which is micro usb or usb-c, which is used by everyone except apple. but will change on 2024
Load More Replies...I'm often in the mood to watch a movie. YouTube offers some decent ones free with ads. I also have Amazon Prime. The instant I'm faced with having to scroll endlessly through poorly categorized films, most of which are c**p, the mood fades and I decide to play a game instead.
Load More Replies...Yea there really isn't much sarcasm here. I don't know that the people who made that group truly grasp what sarcasm is.
i'm confused, either i've misunderstood sarcasm my entire life or this whole post was not sarcasm
No need to f*****g downvote the android one. It’s literally sacaran. God, get a sense of humor
I'm often in the mood to watch a movie. YouTube offers some decent ones free with ads. I also have Amazon Prime. The instant I'm faced with having to scroll endlessly through poorly categorized films, most of which are c**p, the mood fades and I decide to play a game instead.
Load More Replies...Yea there really isn't much sarcasm here. I don't know that the people who made that group truly grasp what sarcasm is.
i'm confused, either i've misunderstood sarcasm my entire life or this whole post was not sarcasm
No need to f*****g downvote the android one. It’s literally sacaran. God, get a sense of humor
