The Most Uncomfortable Moments When A Family Member Has Said Something Inappropriate or Inconsiderate: 50 Stories Shared By Our Community
To have a loving and caring family is a great blessing. However, even the most amazing home can have flaws that might be hurting.
Having blood ties doesn't mean that one is the same or similar to another. In some cases, a friend might be a closer person than the rest of the family. It all comes to the values and the way one thinks. With that in mind, I asked our pandas about a time when they felt uncomfortable because of something their family member said. Sadly or not, a lot of people had something to share. Scroll down to read the answers!
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I wouldn't necessarily call it "uncomfortable" but here goes: It was at my father's 85th birthday party and his likewise elderly sister/my aunt -who I had not seen in many years- tells me, "I'm surprised you're not in jail". I didn't skip a beat. "I'm surprised you're not dead". She avoided me the rest of the day...
If you're going to judge be prepared to be judged. This lady seems to believe she can say what she wants and get away with it because she's older, family or not, she get exactly what she dished out
Lesson: never start something if you’re not prepared to finish, LOL. 🤣
It was more of a smaller gathering (bc of covid).
One of my family members told me I would never make it to heaven if I kept being gay. Me, being the idiot I am, stood up and yelled, "Praise Satan, then" and stormed off.
Everyone went SILENT
If it doesn't welcome people as they are it can't be heaven then can it?
Load More Replies...Not an idiot. If we're all going to hell for being gay, I'll see you there with my pride flag and we can throw a parade.
That is a pet peeve of mine... when a religious person starts a sentence with "You won't go to heaven if...." Like for real?? They are an expert on that stuff. Um... nah!
i know right, its a pet peeve of mine too
Load More Replies...LMAO I wish there was a video of that so I could see their faces. You did the right thing
thank good I'm an atheist. if I would be only going to heaven just because I'm straight, I really would hate it there. Gay people are so much fun
A man goes to hell. Everywhere he sees only golf courses, tennis courts, swimming pools, etc. -and above all only happy people. He wanders around and sees a wall. Behind it: Hellfires, souls being burned at the stake, in short: all the torments you can imagine. The man asks the devil: "You, tell me, it's so beautiful here everywhere, what about the people behind the wall?" And the devil says: "Oh, it's the hardcore christians, they want it that way!"
I would have said 'If heaven is full of people like you I'd rather be in hell.'
I hadn't seen my brother for at least 15+ years due to his travel and spending time in Europe. He had returned to the states and lived a couple hours away but still no real contact. Then, mom got sick. So, I drove up to get him and then up to my mom's. Now, I had gone from being 15 to 30+ since I last saw him and I had pursued a career in which I needed to be in good shape, so I worked out a lot. Once mom got home from the hospital, we all got together and it was then that he announced to everyone that he thought I looked like Arnold Schwartzenegger in drag. My mom popped up and commented, 'yeah, and she rides a motorcycle, too'. He just glared at me and that was when I told him that I also rolled my own tampons and kickstarted my vibrator. I thought mom was going to pop her stitches and my dad, a very quiet man, choked on his tea. My brother never said another word about me.
I about died at kickstart my vibrator. Her response to him was gold.
Load More Replies...Your mam and dad seems very proud of grown up you, their response to his comment shows that.
my dad always wanted his daughter to be independent. my mom, i think, thought i was too independent and bold for a woman. but, a lot of that has to do with her being raised to be a 'proper' woman which doesn't mean subservient but one who uses her strengths in subliminal ways to get what she wants. nope - can't do it.
Load More Replies...he has some real issues with strong women. very much a misogynist but he would deny it.
Load More Replies...I can imagine the idiots face when you said I kickstarted my vibrator it’s like he has never met a strong independent woman before
“I don’t like the Olive Garden. They treat you like family.” - Sheldon Cooper.
I was told I needed to get tips on doing my makeup. I was at my husband's funeral.
I've got the one beat. At a funeral, it was said that I was mentally ill and should be hospitalized because I looked too sad. I am sorry for your loss though, but this just reminded me of how people can be that tactless during those times.
Oh, Mobey. I'm so sorry. *Offers you a hug*
Load More Replies...Wow. Just wow. Someone actually thought you should look your best?!
In Jewish tradition, mourners keep household mirrors covered for a week. Basically, we're supposed to look about as bad as we feel. (No, we don't have to smell bad, too, bathing is allowed)
Load More Replies...Yeah, at my Dad's funeral a woman said to Mother, "Don't feel bad: you'll get another husband." They had been married 49 years. Some people should just never speak.
As if one could only be happy if married at all, regardless of the person.
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Years ago I was starting to get gray hair. My youngest brother was going prematurely bald. At one family gathering he made some comment about my gray hair. I replied "Better gray than gone!" He looked stunned and everyone else laughed. He never commented again about my hair.
You can always die your hair. You'll need a sharpie to remediate a bald spot.
My mother went completely white in her 40s. One time, at a store, an employee started telling her about their "senior discounts" and she said "But I'm only 45!" The employee followed her around apologizing until my mom gave up and left. This year is 25 years since she passed away. She didn't make it to retirement ... but then, she wouldn't have like being old anyway. She was much too independent to ever allow herself to be taken care of.
..And what did we learn today? Don't dish it out if you can't take it!
He needs to get a rabbit tattoo on his head. Because from a distance it will look like hair.
I used to work at a company where there would occasionnaly be left overs of buffets (either deluxe sandwiches or pastries) after meetings. It was great! I once got a pastry, and some dude from marketing commented about me: one minute on the lips, 10 years on the hips. I looked him straight in the eye and said: At least, I have hair. The guy was bald. He stfu and left. F**k you Carlos!
Ran into an ex who had made my life a living hell. He was also really self conscious about his hair loss. Pr*ck had the nerve to comment on my (maybe 10 lbs.) weight gain. I just smiled sweetly and said, Yes, but I can always diet. Can you grow hair?"
Doesn't see a comment about it, but the actress Andie Macdowell (Groundhog day, Short Cuts, 4 weddings and a funeral, 64y/o) effing ROCKS her grey/black locks. 👍 Artist Alexandra Grant (49y/o) are completly gray but she always looks stunning 👍 next to her boyfriend Keanu Reeves. (I am not familiar with her art, so unfortunatly I therefore had to refere her to a more internationelly wellknown man. I hear she's awesome and really talentet. But I still felt I needed to namedrop her boyfriend. Sorry, I bet she gets that alot and it really sucks, I know. 🙁)
My mom wanted me to take a succulent cutting from the garden of the airbnb where I was staying. I said no. She kept at at it. I said I'd ask the host. My mom said "what? why?? no!!!" and "I didn't raise you to ask permission!" I was slightly shocked and then thought for a second... it's true. She didn't, but somehow I know the difference between right and wrong anyway. Luckily, I don't do what my mom tells me to do.
When children do a good thing and everyone starts up with 'a child raised right' comments. Not always. Some children are naturally good people and do the right thing despite their parents and vice versa.
‘I didn’t raise you to ask permission’ …. I’ll bet she lost her sh!t when you didn’t ask permission for stuff at home
Glad that you taught yourself the differences between the two, even if others didn't teach you :)
well, i guess somebody must have taught me, but it wasn't my mom.
Load More Replies...What a terrible mother. It's things like this that cement my thought that people must take some kind of test before being allowed to procreate.
Wow, good for you having figured out how to be a better person than your mother :)
The mark of a narcissistic mother, for sure. I’m willing to bet there was a fair amount of gaslighting, too. Quite sad, really. 🥺🤷♀️
Thanksgiving. I was ten. First Thanksgiving with my step family. Walked into the kitchen to hear my dad say that my stepsister was the perfect child but I was a total disappointment. I started crying. He slapped me and said “what did you expect me to do, lie?” Everyone went off and started dinner as if nothing had happened. I was left standing by myself. I hate Thanksgiving. And my father.
I hate your father, too. Of course you keep your effing opinions about a 10-year-old to yourself. If you don't, you apologize.
One of the most despicable people I've ever met was "the perfect child". Very successful in her career, would sell her own grandmother if it was legal.
Load More Replies...He hasn't earned the right for you to call him a father and it brakes my heart that no one said a word. I would be livid and wouldn't take such crap from a horrible human being who attacks a child like that. F-ck him!
He's not a father. He's a sperm donor. He needs to be told that to his face.
Load More Replies...Absolutely you are not a disappointment!!!! I doubt that you need it, but if you do, the next time you see your father you have my permission to throw him out a window
Oh my god, that is despicable!! I truly hope you have other people around you that DO appreciate and love you.
I don't know what's more painful, your dad's actions, or everyone else's lack of action. The good news is this: once you're an adult, you can choose your own family.
What a disgusting man. I'm sorry that happened to you, I hope you've cut all ties with him. He doesn't deserve to have you as his child.
Saw my great uncle for the first time in years, first thing he says to me is "wow, you've grown! In many ways..." * Looks at my chest*.
Wtf Uncle Jeff, not cool bro
So gross. Had an elderly uncle tell me not to lose any more weight cause it was making my breasts to small. While staring and pointing at my boobs. What reaction do these people expect.
Uncle Jeff needs to be wacked, hard, with a seize 12 boot, in his crotch.... that'll keep him from "growing" for a while.
Crush those tiny rotten grapes and withered stem!
Load More Replies...Art imitates life. Plenty of people have creepy uncles that did and said inappropriate shït to kids.
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My grandmother: "Nice boys don't like fat girls, Mija," and then she got upset when I wouldn't eat the huge plate of food she served me. I was 9 or 10.
EVERY grandma in central Europe! ´You´re fat´ and then serves you a complete Luis the XIV. Versailles style dinner.
This is so true! And if you do not eat the whole meal, they get offended :D
Load More Replies...This is like my Spanish mother in law. Force feeds everyone and then comments on weight. Luckily I'm slimish so she mostly leaves me alone. Her poor daughter is overweight and my MIL mentions this to me every time I see her..yeah you overfed her all her childhood..what did you think would happen!?
We live in Spain now for a few years. Our landlords live in a house about 150 yards away from ours. Sometimes we drop by for something and sometimes she is cooking.... it always looks like a tasteless pile of nothing. She serves spagetti with just tomatosauce (just enough to not choke on the spagetti), uses no spices and herbs when making an eggwhite omelet and wonders why nobody really likes it, prepares the most meals in a pressurecooker.... but it all tasts like cr*p and not because they can't affford it, she just hates cooking. However, when they are at home and we make a stew or something else in a slowcooker, we always bring over two plates for them and they always wonder what magic we used to make it tast so delicious ;p And then, a few days later, she meets me and tells me that they ate a few days of the plates we brought over, because.... she added more water and rice so it became a soup. In time I have learned to give up on the hope they just enjoy what's on their plate ;p
Load More Replies...Its the same with spanish grandmas. They judge you for your weight (even if its healthy) but they force you to eat like 3 people...
So true!!! My grandma just says whatever's on her mind. She really likes calling people ugly
Load More Replies...I got " Normal men don't like fat girls". At 14. Way to set me up for rejecting anyone who showed any interest cause they had to be sick or pervets to show interest.. 🤮
Awwww the gift of anxiety and complexes from Mexican families - I feel you OP.
When I was 17, we were preparing to have a regular dinner, with my grandma coming over as an extra guest. The table was set, main course needed more time to finish cooking, and I was in the living room watching Cartoon Network as it didn't require a lot of attention and besides I like cartoons of all kind. My grandma arrived and passed through the living room where she saw me watching tv. She stittered, loooed at me shocked and said " You ..still watch kid stuff?". I didn't bother explaining that lots of cartoons nowadays have subtle queues to relate for a mature audience as well, so I just replied "Uh, yeah, what of it?". Later during dinner, my grandma would address my father with a concerned face and would say " You should take your son to see a psychiatrist." ( my father froze mid-sip and gazed at her questioningly ) " I caught him watching children's stuff on TV. This isn't right I believe he might be memtally undeveloped. I still want to have great-grandchildren!". I was right next to her, contemplating how not to explode right there and then. 35 years old now. With a 9 month old baby boy, engaged. Still watching Avatar, Family Guy and whatever the hell I want, probably will watch cartoons till I die.
I will be 40 in 14 days and I watch a s**t ton of cartoons. Ranging from my kids' shows to adult swim animation. I hate regular tv.
I'm 54 and I love Pixar and Disney movies. Eff that horrible woman.
I am 34 and can happily say I still watch "kids tv" at times. It's light hearted and easy to watch. This month I've been watching baymax shorts.
I was shamed for the same stuff by my father. I also recall our talk 10 years ago, when I told him I'm gonna choose art college and he got angry and told me I'm gonna be homeless then, drawing people on streets and begging for change. I started career as an animator, i was making commercials, movie posproduction, events, now i make animations for mobile games. And I earn more than them both (dad and mom) together.
fkn good on you! i'm so proud of you. wishing you a lifetime of happiness, abundance, prosperity, and contentment surrounded by people who love and support you for who you are♥️
Load More Replies...Did your Dad stand up for you? Because it sounds like Granny was/is (if she’s still alive—-assholes always manage to live forever, for some reason) the one in need of psychiatric help.
I'm damn near 40, and let me tell you, even Disney movies have innuendo and themes that go over kids heads so that adults will enjoy them. Shrek is a perfect example of a kids movie catering specifically to adults. So is Spongebob. People who think adults who watch cartoons are 'mentally deficient' lack a soul and have no creativity or inner child.
I love Spongebob! I'm in my forties. Only started watching it last year and love it!
Load More Replies...50 here and still watch cartoons. Half the fun of watching childhood favourites again is picking up the little jokes that passed you by as a kid, they become funny on a whole new level.
If I could find the Bugs Bunny cartoons that I used to watch on Saturday mornings as a kid (and for years after I grew up), I'd still be watching them.
Me too, Saturday morning from 6am to 11am was where they had all the great cartoons. Not sure where you're from but we also had Jabba Jaws, Hong Kong Fewy (phewey ?) speed racer, scooby doo and lots of short cartoons. Great times, you had to get up to watch (parents still in bed and no option to record or "stream" anything ) and when it finished you got on your bike, trampoline or walked to your friends house (Born 1976 - 46yrs young)
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It was my very first art exhibition and I invited all of my family.. at the end of the show we all gathered outside to chat and in front of everyone, my dad walked up to me and handed me 5$ saying: here, have an allowance, because no one will buy these paintings!
Thank you so much for the encouragement! I just made my first upload on BP :)))
Load More Replies...Never let other's opinions define you. Opinions are like assholes... everyone has one and they usually stink.
My dad told me the same thing about excuses when I was younger
Load More Replies...I bet you handed him that 5 dollar bill back later and told him to go and buy some character. Your art is amazing! Until now this is unique in its style, superb!
What an a hole! You earned AN EXHIBITION!! No curator gives away wall space to someone who doesn't deserve the opportunity. Believe you can and you will.
My ex-MIL referring to the local shop owner who was an Asian man: "We don't like those sort of people here". This was on Walney Island, Barrow in Furness, Cumbria. Said ex-MIL was also probably one of the most boring people in existence in addition to being racist, having no interests, never read any books, just trashy magazines, never watched any films or listened to music, knew nothing about history or current affairs but full of negative opinions about others, while claiming to be a Christian and having the audacity to tell me I'll go to hell. The shop owner, btw, was always pleasant, friendly, helpful and courteous.
sounds like the shop owner would have been a better person to have as a relative than that b***
Absolutely! Less than 2 years later the shop had closed, sadly, I don't know why for sure but perhaps he got sick of this attitude and went somewhere better
Load More Replies...Unfortunately the more northern towns in the UK tend to lean towards racism. I'm not saying that we're all racist (I'm from Lancashire) but I've noticed a lot of people I work with use the phrase 'I'm not racist but...' which is usually followed by a racist comment or stereotype.
I’m not sure that’s quite right - I’ve never come across much racism in Kirkwall or Lerwick for example. I suspect you mean NORTHERN IN ENGLAND not UK. I’m my experience England is way more racist and hateful than the rest of the UK.
Load More Replies...I hope the mirror had a strong stomach!
Load More Replies...I know a guy whom I think hates everything called educational or anything called common knowledge at all and thaught that Hitler was just a famous guy who invented streetlights! I was mind blown and his face dropped when we told him all about the holocaust etc. And we told him that its sometimes its better to shut up than say s**t like that.A great guy but omg!! My jaw dropped!
By the way, Hitler didn't invent streetlights!!
Load More Replies...She sounds like the same quality of person as a recent American president. *Barfs*
My grandmas raised me saying things like "No man will ever love you if you don't..." (have long hair, dress like a lady, learn how to cook...). It hurt me a lot but especially subconsciously. I really grew up believing that the idea of me dating was ridiculous.
:) that really made me feel good thanks
Load More Replies...Mine uses to say that no one with a working brain will ever love me beacuse I was so "rebelious". So when I got a partner she always says (in front of everyone) how bless it is him not being intelligent enough to realize the fact of what a mess I am, and I sholud thanks all heavens for him being "dumb enough to be with you"
Wow that is really horrible. I am so sorry :( For me the best wah was to not say anything just get up and leave. Go talk to somebody else or to the toilet.
Load More Replies...My grandmother loved me very much as everyone keeps telling me but she didn't like the person I grew up to be. All the females in my family who were born before me were my grandmother's type- well behaved pretty girls who never questioned anything(I come from a conservative society and country so there was a lot of restrictions especially on women). The things my grandmother said to me still makes me angry and sad. Everyone calls me ungrateful for getting distanced from my grandmother as she loved me very much. And she said those things OP's grandma said.She said some pretty hurtful things and I used to reply. She would often ask me to keep my lips pressed as she didn't like thick lips, told me to wear lose clothing so my figure is not shown, told me to not laugh so much because no one likes a woman who opens her mouth this wide etc etc
That is so sick in so many ways, I'm sorry you were brought up t believe those lies and truly hope you know your own selfworth right now. I can't for the life of me understand that women who were subjected to so much cr*p growing older themselves, still insist on ruining other women with their warped ways of thinking...
My grandma had a hell of a habit of doing this same thing, "this is a feminine dress, men like women who dress like a lady" "men like women with jewelry" "that's for boys, you're not a boy. Do you want guys to think you're a guy"... I never stop giving her s**t about it now. She acts like my mom alone screwed me up when she had her hand in it too. I now have a wonderful man who loves me for all my qualities, "girly" or not.
My grandma told me that men wanted only one thing ... Me too, granny...
I was raised by my grandmother. She used to say that no one with a working brain will ever love me because I was so "rebellious". So when I got a partner, she always says what a blessing it is, him not being intelligent enough to realize the fact of me being the mess I am, and I should thank all heavens for him being "dumb enough to be with you".
I'm very very grateful for him being the amazing and loving partner he is, but I keep hearing my grandmother's voice inside my thoughts. Also she passed away like 20 or so years ago. I never went to the graveyard.
I'd have gone... I'm always looking for a place to dance.
Load More Replies...Your grandmother was a b***h. Putting it plain. She needed to feel strong so she made others (you) feel little. That made her feel better about her probably horrible self-esteem. So whenever you think of her, just tell yourself "yeah, grandma was a b***h." Even if she portrayed differently to other people, you know the truth.
I have a feeling that Hell is full of very mean - and very surprised - grannies...
I guess that woman had half a brain to begin with... Your partner fell for you and all that you are, he knew what he was getting when you started dating and he was lucky to find you. And you are lucky to have found someone you ca be yourself with, two halves make a whole. You both are the luckiest persons, because you have eachother, you have love and no one, no even crammy gran can come between the two of you <3
What an absolute disappointment she had one job as a grandmother and look what she did? now, as steve suggested, you have to go s**t on her gravestone
"If you don't want kids you just haven't found the right guy yet!" My boyfriend was right by my side
I get told stuff like this ALL the time despite being adamant since I was a toddler that I never want kids, people are infuriating
Load More Replies...I hate that phrase, along with " you dont like kids now, but when you will have your own things will be different"
I always tell them "If that was true there wouldnt be abused or abandoned kids". They normally shut up.
Load More Replies...I f*****g hate it when people say that to me. I have never wanted children but apparently when I'm too old to have them, I'll regret my decision. I'm 39, I'm still waiting for some weird baby clock to start ticking.
I've heard from my family more variations of "When are you going to have a baby? Don't you want to give your husband a child?" over the last 25 years than I've heard, well, anything of substance.
ugh my condolences. i don't know what i hate more about that sentiment: that women are still simply perceived as vessels to bring more ppl into this world; that this "wrong" decision is the wife's evil and the poor husband is being roped in; the man's opinion is the only one that matters so if he wants a child she's supposed to ignore her feelings and desires for him; the idea of "giving your husband a child" as if it's some threshold to meet, and an achievement that proves you're good enough for the husband who will pay you on the head and laden you with the entire child rearing burden; basically that the husband's sentiments trump everything in a woman's world
Load More Replies...Uh no, we don't want kids because we don't want a screaming brat ruining our lives
it's possible to express anti-parental sentiments without degrading innocent, dependent youngins. extremely weird to feel the need to s**t on literal children, who act as they're raised and problems are the fault of the carers. now u look immature, prejudiced, miserable, bitter instead of an adult that made a decision for themselves. that's coming from someone who also doesn't want kids
Load More Replies...You should never speak to whoever said that again !!! If you don't want kids, that's fine, if you want kids that is also fine, but ultimately, it is YOUR choice, not some f****r with screwed up ideas about what is 'right' or 'wrong' or who tries to impose their idea of social norms on you. F**k them, f**k their ideas, go down your own path, you will be much happier in the end.
I’m so sick of the world treating women as nothing more than baby factories.
Wow! You got fat! - my aunt on the day of my dad's funeral.
My aunt asked when my due date was. Thanks but I'm just fat now. Nice to remind me again. But I've lost 18 kg in 5 months and I've got 20 to go and I'm doing it before new-year! Love it because it's going so well. First timer diet/ exercise 😁
Well done for everything you have accomplished already. I envy your mental and physical strength, but in a nice way 🙃
Load More Replies...It's nice to see people's priorities are so 'right'... dad's dead but my weight is the main issue.
I was told repeatedly how good I looked now that I had "grown into" my teenage body at my dad's funeral. Haven't been on the thinner side since.
Load More Replies...Am I the only one who would have considered pushing her into another empty grave when no one was looking?
This is so sad.... I'm sorry you had to hear that. If ever she makes that remark again at you... "Maybe that's so, but guess what? I can loose weight if and when I want to. You on the other hand.... that sh*tty character just seems to last forever."
Every time I see my family, a few people comment on how I “need to eat more” or “you are too skinny”. I absolutely hate when people say that because I am very insecure about my body. (Also first post lol)
Always was the case with comments during my childhood, to the point I was ashamed to wear tight jeans because it would show "how too skinny I am". How is that normal to body shame anyone? To every such a comment learned quickly to comment back with: “you need to eat less, you are too fat” with as straight face as theirs and with same voice tone. At first there was anger but then comments just stopped altogether.
I get so angry when I hear this.... and when I hear the opposite, about someone being 'fat'. Until you walk that mile in their shoes, shut the F up. I have an incurable terminal illness. I'm fighting as hard as I can but I am very sickly thin. Telling me to eat a sandwich or that men won't like a skinny woman does not help. Mind your business
Dear Beth, I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't know what to say... But I do wish you the best life for whats left of it
Load More Replies...My grandma: You look chubby! *I lose weight* You're too skinny, girl, there's nothing left of you... *I gain some weight* You look like you eat a lot! - There's no pleasing people like that, just live you life.
Skinny shaming is so common. I've been small and slim all my life and if I have to read one more " real women have curves" type comment... I once was introduced to a friend's mother for the first time and after the "Nice to meet you" introductions she turned to her husband and said "She's so skinny you could slap her, couldn't you?"
same i am so skinny and people tease me about it so i know what your going through
It's a shame that some people feel it's okay to make comments on someone else's appearance. Some people aren't capable of keeping their traps shut.
Uncle asked me why my sweater was dirty. Said I should have dressed nicer. We had no way to wash clothes, had no food a lot of the time, and no new clothes. Everything was hand me downs. Parents spent clothing allotments from welfare on themselves. Rest of the family cared so little and/or were so oblivious to their black sheep son and his wife's children ... when we went into foster care, none of them, all well off, would take us in. Another uncle called us insects.
I'm sorry...I hope you and your siblings are all doing better now.
No. My younger brother killed himself. My older brother is a drunk with CHF, and I'm the last person standing. However, I'm doing my best and we keep on keeping on. It's all good.
Load More Replies...It's a shame to grow up and discover the real monsters to be afraid of are humans.
That's a crappy family. Luckily, you don't have to be around them. Make your own family (not necessarily spouse and kids) and surround yourself with people who love you. I'm sure you can find plenty!
These people are NOT your family. They have no right to special titles like "Uncle" or "Aunt" or "Grandma" even "Mom" and "Dad". The family you chose and choses you back to support each other in good and bad times. I hope you and siblings have found peace and security.
How can people be so cruel :'( I have no words to express the level of sadness I feel for you and your siblings... Please, know that you all never were what others wanted to let you believe. You are good, you are kind, you matter... stay strong.
When I was six I had drawn a picture for my Auntie and when I gave it to her she said, "uh... ah..no." then threw it in the bin in front of me.
about same age - made b'day card, crayon, glitter, happy b'day, etc. for daddy dearest - placed at head of table for him to find when he came to breakfast - he threw it onto floor without looking at it and commented, "grow up and be a man and hand it to me next time" - no matter what I did was never ever good enough - those were the days when abuse was called discipline
My mom threw away all of my art - drawings, collages, pottery. I learned to not bother bringing them home.
My grandson, then 4, drew a picture of me. One large circle and a smaller one for my head, along with stick arms and legs. No hair because I'm bald, including no eyelashes. When I said it's beautiful he said so are you grandma. We put it up on the fridge. I was happy and so was he. Wouldn't dream of doing something like the poster did.
After my Grandmother passed, I discovered she kept everything I ever made. Including report cards, ornaments, pictures etc. She was so kind. I got alopecia at 9 triggered by abuse from my mom. My Grandmother had a best friend in school that had scarlet fever and lost all her hair. I was never looked down on in her house. Probably the only reason I am alive. You are wonderful and your Grandchild will be grateful later.
Load More Replies...When i was in first grade the teacher yelled at me for drawing black tulips because there's no way they exist... I saw them at the intersection garden thing roads have at the traffic light
I presented two classmates a drawing once and they ripped it up and threw it away. This was in kindergarten. I never did talk to those two twatheads again ever...
There’s always one a*****e relative in every family (and some have way more than one). Hope now that you’re grown, you either don’t ever have to see that b***h again OR, if you have to periodically, you take every opportunity to call her out every time she’s mean to someone—-especially someone vulnerable, like a child.
You could never pass as a boy, darling.
Said by my mother to young trans me still trying to figure things out. Jokes on her I get "misgendered" every single day by people who don't even know me so I'm obviously doing something right.
You’re doing everything right! My family and friends will never use my preferred pronouns but whenever i go out people never misgender me and it feels awesome! 😄
Then they're clearly not friends. Family you can't control but you definitely can choose who's friends.
Load More Replies...Obviously your mother had no idea that the real you was there all along and she was the only one being blind... Happy to hear you are you now and living the way that feels right for you.
When I was thirteen, my mother scolded me (in front of a table full of people) for “flirting” with an adult male. I was mortified, especially as I had just laughed at one of the man’s jokes.
Unfortunately she might have noticed the man flirting with you which you didn't notice yourself at only 13?
True - weird that she blamed me, though...
Load More Replies..."Jeez, Mom...just because you can't pull it off anymore..."
My mother did something similar. We were at a wedding, I was 12, and man well into his 30's kept flirting with me. When I whispered to her that I was very uncomfortable and want to move she loudly scolded me that I shouldn't have dressed the way I did and I deserved to be uncomfortable. I had a knee length skirt, plain white top and half jacket that matched my skirt.
My aunt bought me a new wardrobe for a trip because i wasn't allowed to "dress like a boy". She had no idea what was under those "boy clothes" and all black so when men were staring and trying to talk to me i was at fault for having DD's stuffed into a bikini top at 15 and a coke bottle figure like I filled out the night before the trip somehow and it was all me and not them.
Load More Replies...My mother did exactly the same thing. I was making silly jokes with a nice man at a wedding and she told me off, in front of a table full of people, for "flirting". I was 13.
Victimblaming. even then... She should have scolded that man, not you.
Yeah. My measurements were 36/28/36 in 6th grade. Just want a give a shout out to all the random creepy old men who just couldn't seem to NOT stare at 11 year old me's full bust.
Not at a family gathering, but I once had overheard my parents complaining about me and wishing that I was never born. It hurt a lot, and because I wasn’t supposed to hear their conversation I have to pretend to be oblivious and still act like I care for them.
IDK how old you are, but when you get out from under your parents' roof, remember you do not owe them anything. And there are lots of places where you can find support from others who come from abusiva and neglectful home. You are not alone. Your life matters. You matter.
The OP can also call their parents out and say they heard that conversation years ago. They should also say they wish their parents had never been born, so they (the OP) could’ve had DECENT people as parents instead of the a*****e they got.
Load More Replies...I was beaten by my mum and step dad because I had severe eczema. She has dementia now but refuses to see me. Apparently, it's still all my fault. Thankfully, I don't care anymore
That's rough. Sometimes a person (or people) come into your life who are not related to you but are more meaningful in your life than an actual parent. When I was in college my friends uncle was such a genuinely good man, listened when I needed to talk, gave advice that I appreciated so much, taught me skills like painting and carpentry. I think of him every fathers day, I am so glad he was in my life!
Let me start by saying that this is horrible, and sorry that you had to hear this. As a fresh dad (baby boy of 9 months), I can't imagine life without my child. But I believe every (new!) parent goes through a phase where they mise their lives prior to their baby being born, as the adjustment to the new lifestyle is very difficult and placing the child's needs above yours can be taxing. But this usually goes away within a couple of months. The fact that you were old enough to understand them when they said that.... the fact that they even thought of this, let alone say it out loud...terrible!
I hadn't seen my dad in a couple of years, due to distance. I went to my little brother's wedding. The very first thing dad said to me, loud enough for everyone to hear, was, "WOW! You got fat!" Of course, everyone had to turn around to see whom he was talking to.
First thing it if my dads mouth every time he sees me is about my weight. So frustrating!
both my parents have struggled with weight, and i am at a healthy weight for a teen. my dad had asked how much i weigh for a workout thing (for him) and something else, and both times he said, “wow! i thought u were smaller than that” pretty damn infuriating
At a family reunion on my mother's side, my father was repeatedly asked why I (younger daughter) didn't have any children, after all, my sister (3 years older) was already married and has two wonderful children. He got so annoyed about it that he announced that I was a lesbian. The family avoided me for the rest of the meeting.
I don't understand why people just don't leave childless people alone!
They think we're supposed to validate their life choices by making the same ones, and if we don't, we're "judging" them.
Load More Replies...People used to ask me why I didn't have a boyfriend or kids. I'd be like, "I'm waiting for (male celebrity of the month) to notice me." All innocent-like, as though I really believed they would come for me. People stopped asking. Sometimes people still ask about kids. I just say I have 36, "from different mothers". I'm a primary school teacher.
With global population hitting the 8 billion mark why burden the earth more?
He could’ve just loudly said it’s one of their goddamned business what she does with her life, so they should just BUTT OUT! Now, if by chance she is LGBTQ, he outed her without her permission, thereby taking away her right to choose when, where, and to whom she came out—-which is a HUGE issue. Being LGBTQ (if she is) also has nothing to do with whether she wants children. LGBTQ couples and singles have given birth to/fostered/adopted children, many of whom were deemed unadoptable, who then turn out just fine because they were raised by wonderful loving parents, instead of assholes.
Ha! I remember my SIL teaching her 6yo daughter to ask me at some family gathering: "Auntie Penny, why aren't you married and have no babies yet?" (I was 24 -- an old broad in my SIL's opinion). I smiled and said: "Just got lucky, I suppose. Want some cake?" SIL still talks to me through clenched teeth to this day 😁
People don't realize how nosey that question really is! Or how painful it might be. Maybe you have been trying and haven't been able to, or have lost a baby. Maybe you and your partner don't want kids. The elderly generation of now still ask that because it was the norm- get married have babies. It was whispered if you were childless like it was shameful. While I love my girls who are both adults now and both were planned, for some people its just not their plan for their life to be complete. Oh and if she is gay, that has nothing to do with wanting or having kids- its not a "reason" why
You could have piped up with "I've had seven miscarriages and my boyfriend just DIED".
My granddaughter and her husband refuse to have children because of the state of he world we have created and aholes
Well f**k those assholes for thinking lesbian is bad and also HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE YOU LESBIAN
Had an in-law try to pick a physical fight with me at a funeral because I removed him from Facebook.
Cousin's husband did this to me at my uncle's funeral. Walked out of the cubicle in the toilet, he accuses me of calling him a knacker(derogatory term for Irish traveller) the day before. I had never spoken to him in my life. His brothers in law had to pull him away Went up to him an hour later to try clear the air given the day that was in it. Tried explaining he must be mistaken, that we had never spoken and how I didn't want this hanging over the rest of the day. He proceeds to threaten to put me through a window. Had to walk away before I left his teeth all over the floor. Imagine acting like that at your wife's father's funeral.
Yeah, nothing says I want to be your friend better that a fist upside the head. Weirdo.
HAHA B***H FOUGHT U CAUSE A DEAD PERSON WAS NOT FRIENDED ON YOUR FACEBOOK
TLDR version: I was told by my stepmother that I ruined our family Christmas, simply by being there.
Long version: I had a... troubled childhood, to say the least, too much to really go into, and honestly, I've blocked lots of it out and don't remember many details. I was extremely depressed, suicidal at times, and was violently acting out. My stepmother was the target of a lot of my distress, even though she wasn't necessarily the cause of it. My dad, and her, I guess, tried to help me as best as they could, but it got to the point where they didn't know what else to do, and sent me to a therapeutic boarding school. Part of the school's program involved home visits at specified times, and mine happened to line up with Christmas. When I got home, my stepmother was saying things along the lines of "it was so calm and quiet when you were gone, I was actually happy." I was trying to let things go, not make trouble, and repair the damage I'd done. Christmas morning, when we were all gathered around the tree, she looked me dead in the eyes and said "I hate that you're here. Just... you being here has ruined Christmas."
I don’t like that word, but she was, and probably still is. Way to undo all the good done at the therapeutic boarding school you’re paying for, b***h. Bet Dad didn’t even stand up for his own child either, so add betrayal on top of it. Hope the OP is happy and healthy now, and has cut all toxic people out of their life for good. You’re not a victim, OP. You’re a warrior and a survivor of the wars, and are strong and mighty because of it.
Load More Replies...Hello downvotes, but it sounds like she could've done with some therapy herself, especially given (in your own words) "she wasn't the cause [of the distress you acted out]". And you acknowledge that she tried her best. It's a cruel and unnecessary thing to say to a child; it just sounds like she needed help too.
No downvote from me. What she said was horrible, but yeah, it reminded me of the thread where parents tried their best, but openly admitted they were totally exhausted and at their wits end, especially with a child acting out violently as described here. That can eventually become too much to handle despite best intentions.
Load More Replies...A lot of you are not using reading comprehension or empathy here. This "b***h" had been the target of this kid's wrath and misbehavior. "Tried to help me as best they could" NOW, still so inappropriate but I just don't see it as vile as could be for kids out there just existing.
I wish people would think of their children before getting married again! I'm sure there were signs that this woman was going to be a horrible step parent! If they can't love your children the way they are suppose to be loved then don't have a relationship with them! So much hurt and heartache all because the parent is being selfish!
Incredibly selfish. When my mother announced she was going to marry Stepfather 2, who was a complete abusive a*****e to all of us, I said "please don't." She started choke-sobbing about how she "didn't want to grow old alone" and we were so selfish for not being happy for her. In four years, he cheated on her, stole her money, filed fraudulent taxes in her name, tried to beat up my sibling, and took more than one swing at me. Spoiler: she grew old alone, but with the benefit of losing her kids, too. Hope it was worth it, Mom!
Load More Replies...What if the kid had abused her and she was indeed finally starting to feel happy again? OP might have been on the path to better himself, path of healing, but she still remembered the hurt. She was not yet on the path of healing. Victims are rarely happy to see their abusers.
Load More Replies...Jesus what a bitch. You should of told her that Christmas' we're nice before she came along. My stepmother hated it when my sibs and me came for holidays. Her kids had fun while we were mad to clean up after everyone else
Shes a F*****G B***H THAT HAS ISSUES FOR NOT HELPING SOMEBODY WITH A TROUBLED CHILDHOOD I WANNA PERSONALLY PUT HER IN HER GRAVE
They were a kid, clearly going through s**t. That step mother had ZERO reason to make things worse. This comment is in line with "you were wearing a short skirt, what do you expect?" Just because a CHILD was being a d**k, doesnt give you the right to be a d**k back.
Load More Replies...And now you know a big root of your trauma and acting out: dat betch! You were a kid, not your fault. Your primary caregivers failed you.
aside from this comment, how did they fail OP? OP themselves admits they were acting out violently, with their stepmother being on the receiving end for most of it despite having done nothing to incur that behaviour. OP literally said they did the best they could. they sent her to an expensive programme for their own benefit. sounds like pretty hands on, invested, concerned caregivers wanting the best for their charge. the comment was bang out of order, but possible to sympathise with considering the fact that parents are also humans and she was likely at the end of her tether having dealt with OPs violent wrath for no reason. it shouldn't have been said, but nobody is too good to look down at her for a human error the same way you're all bolstering and yas queening OP despite their past mistakes. so embarrassing. at least be consistent: either both are s**t for their mistakes, or both are human and forgivable
Load More Replies...
Ohhh you're divorced, serves you right.
When I got divorced I hope it served me right because it was exactly what I wished for!
If only we could think quicker and reply with something like "Yes, it turned out they were a lot like you and I didn't like that"
Too bad we only think of perfect comebacks 3 months later in the shower.
Load More Replies...When I told my dad, who I only had sporadic contact with, that I was getting divorced he asked me what I'd done. I said what? He cheated on me so I left him. He replied that I obviously had done something wrong to make him cheat on me. No he was just a cheater. A few years later I talked to my ex stepmom online and I mentioned what he had said. She replied that it sounded like he hadn't changed. They had been married 20+ years, he was in the army and posted all over the world and she and their kids moved to Kuwait and Germany with him but when he left the army and moved back to the UK he started an affair with a coworker. For 18 months before he confessed. Said it was her fault because she wanted a new kitchen for the old house they bought
Talk about rubbish excuses! That is right up there. Only person responsible for his behaviour is him. Weak git.
Load More Replies...Appropriate response “F**k You”. Better if the state of THEIR marriage isn’t good.
2 things, both said by in-laws. 1- at a restaurant to waitress, “that’s our last grandkid. No more bcuz we can’t afford them.” We’ve never asked them for anything for the kids. And made me want to get prego just to show her! 2- estate sale for great granny passing, diff ppl walking through the house to buy stuff. Lil old ladies coming through, saw 1 put a trinket in her purse w/o paying. I let it go, wasn’t worth it. A young black guy came in looking for angels for his mom. He was a hard working kid, I knew he was good and had a good heart. FIL followed him all around. FIL and MIL both said at diff times, “those are the ones you have to watch.” I was so disgusted! That’s when I saw their true selves. I stay away and keep my kids away from them as much as possible.
I was shocked when I discovered my mother was Racist, she had never said anything racist but when I started dating a boy who was part Aboriginal she told me that if I continued & dared get pregnant with “a half caste bastard” she would disown me. Lost all respect for her that moment.
What a terrible thing to say! No wonder you lost all respect for her, that's just awful
Load More Replies...I say call people like this out every time, and as loudly and publicly as you can. They deserve to be on the receiving end of a whole heap of humiliation, as payback for all the humiliation they’ve doled out themselves to others over the years. Let Karma bring all their past transgressions home to roost, right on their heads.
"Saw their true selves." Sometimes, if you like/love the person that can can be absolutely heart breaking.
Keep the kids away forever! It's your job to protect them and your in-laws are not safe people. If your partner has an issue, stand your ground by every means necessary regarding safety of the children
You're as bad for letting the old lady steal, you let it slide because "it's some old lady", but for all you know she's a career criminal and this is all she can steal nowadays, or she uses her "little old lady" status as a cover.
Maybe. But it wasn't worth anything, and reporting her wouldn't have done a thing. Maybe she was a career criminal, then again, maybe she was poor and just wanted something. We didn't know her situation. We also pick and choose our battles.
Load More Replies...After I admitted I'd been raped, my Mother stated "You deserved everything that happened to you. You're no daughter of mine, you're disgusting really". Needless to say, I no longer have a family.
Dammit! My heart breaks for anyone who has had a parent react like this to anything at all, but ESPECIALLY rape. What a sh*tty, cold-hearted response. They lost you because they didn't deserve you. I hope you find love, peace, and healing.
I am so, so very sorry. I hope you find much love and healing in your life.
A lot of us don't. Were we never given a choice! This forced on us.
Some people are just broken and toxic. Sometimes, those people are parents. It’s better for kids of these people to realize it early and not blame themselves and get away asap.
I hope you have managed to make yourself a new family of decent human beings.
My grandmother when I was maybe 11:
"Oh you've gained weight again, and why are you still dressed like a boy"? After that she forced me to try on my great grandmother's moldy fur coat and asked me why I didn't like boys...
Ah family, great memories.
An 11 year old should wear jeans, t-shirt and sneakers! Did she get out the fake "stick-on" beauty patch for you?
Yes I wore jeans, t-shirts and sneakers (I still do by the way because it's confortable and I like it!) but nothing seemed too "boyish" to me when I look at old pictures. I don't know what are "fake "stick-on" beauty patch" but she always bought me dresses and skirts and the result is that I developed a hatred for them. She wasn't so bad though but she wanted to "play doll" (I don't know if it's a saying in english) with me, make me the perfect little girl she wanted. She kind of traumatised my father too when he was a child, always dressing him up in ridiculous outfits.
Load More Replies...I hate your family. Also WTF? It’s moldy why are they making you wear the coat.
At 11, I was still a tomboy. But I was also starting to be interested in girl stuff too. I’m 61 now, and still a tomboy in many ways. Let kids be themselves, instead of trying to force them into what YOU think the social norms they should follow should be. Most social norms are b******t anyway.
My mom wouldn't let me get rainbow Vans. Me: Mom, can I have those Vans? Her: The rainbow ones? Ew, no. Me: Why not? Her, speaking quietly: I don't want people to think you are gay. Me: But there's nothing wrong with it! Her: Yes there is, I will not let you get them. Me: Fine. *rolls eyes* Since she doesn't know the pride flags, I got some blue-purple-pink ones instead. I'm bi-ace. Lol.
she's gotten a lot better lately, even bought me a pride flag from Target
Load More Replies...My parents don’t know pride flags so I can hide all the trans colors in everything. I ussually have to make it myself tho cuz I’m the disc of stuff it ussually says trans :(
i have a rock with the trans flag colors on it!
Load More Replies...I *love* that! Gotta tell my ace cousin. LOL, nobody'll get it, but she'll love it.
I don't have any pride related stuff cuz 1. I live in korea 2. korea doesn't sell pride related stuff at all /cries
If you are gay and want shoes with the pride flag on it without your parents knowing, find shoes that have the colors inverted.
After having had a car accident which left me crippled with back pain, I resumed swimming at 35. I started at my worst shape ever, my cardio was horrible and I was at pretty much double the weight my Dr would've liked me to be at. At first, I couldn't 2 laps in a row without stopping to catch my breath and/or using my inhaler. After about 3 months, I could do 70 laps in a row, so I joined the local Triathlon club's swimming class to improve my technique. Another 3 months later, I'm now swimming around 100-120 laps 3 times a week, and sharing at Christmas diner that my goal is to be able to swim a 3k race in a lake in an open water event the next summer. My dad : yeah, but it's easy for you. Me, looking at him quizzically My dad, cracking up at his own joke : Well, just look at marine mammals! So yeah, basically not dying, overcoming the trauma of the accident, transforming myself through sheer willpower into someone worthy of swimming alongside college students 15 years younger than myself DESPITE carrying the extra burden of my weight, that makes me a whale, manatee or beluga. And it's easy cause I "float". Great. Thanks dad. I looked away and spoke to my siblings the rest of the meal. Kinda pisses me off that no one ever tells him off though. But whatever. People who see me swim call me a mermaid or a Valkyrie. I'm kind of both, and I love it.
Getting angry is playing into his hand of discrediting anyone for being irrational, making him the only person capable of making decisions. I will not give him that satisfaction. He did recently repeat this joke as I was coming back from swimming across a lake. He said : it's good you can still swim like that, but it's easy for you, look at marine mammals. I calmly told him that I thought that kind of comment was hurtful and not acceptable, and I would like for him to keep his opinions to himself. He looked at me, with a bit of a surprised look, and said but it's true! You have an advantage, it's not mean to say that? I saif even if that (my weigth) helped me float, I don't float. I swim. That's all me, no advantage for that. It shut him up. I've had a lot more success staying calm and telling him calmly when his opinions were not welcome. Otherwise, I just ignore him anyway..
Load More Replies...I'm so proud of you, honestly. You went from barely 2 laps in a row to 120 per week. And especially after everything you went through, I couldn't be happier. I don't know you and I probably never will, but I'd be proud to be related to you.
Thank you, it's very sweet to say. I love blowing people's expectations of me. They see obese and think inactive, passive, weak. Then they realize I'm really hard to keep up with, and I don't let other people's expectations of me limit myself anymore. I used to be the last kid picked up for team sports, so I just did a bunch of individual sports instead. And if I inspire anyone along the way to think that they too, can do anything they set their mind to, it's a bonus! 😁
Load More Replies...Your spermdonor needs his eyes fixed and while he's at it, his character too... He is 50 shades of mean and nasty,,,
Some historians think that stories of mermaids came from sailors spotting manatees. Sounds like this guy is dumb the other way, seeing a manatee when everyone else knows they're seeing a glorious mermaid.
Thank you, it is very sweet of you 😊
Load More Replies...Absolutely amazing what you did to overcome. As hard as it was, good for you for not wasting your energy fighting his ignorant thinking. Keep being you!!
Following the philosophy of the great Dory... "Just keep swimming... just keep swimming..." 😁
Load More Replies...Challenge dad to a swim race. "Here, let's see how fast you can do 1500 metres, Daddy Dearest."
I absolutely will next time I'm at his lake house! 😜 I'm my best at long distance though, not sure he'll agree to cross the lake with me, but I'll try..
Load More Replies...AMAZING. You've come so far and have overcome so much!..I know the situation you're speaking of, when your hands are "tied" because speaking up to a verbal attack/insult to a family member that should never have been voiced. It's a betrayal by people who should be protecting you, and a hurt that no one else stood up for you regardless. You will find people who stand up for you and love you no matter what, just keep your eyes and heart open. Don't be afraid either, if you need to limit time with someone for your mental health, DO IT. Choose you. You already are in so many ways. It still hurts when family doesn't acknowledge your triumphs, and worse when they insult you on top of it. Just remember, you can CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY, maybe not blood related but of the heart. They're your real safe place, and your champions when you need one.
Thank you so very much for such a thoughtful and empathic message. It is so very appreciated! 😊😍
Load More Replies...I'd respond " at least as a mammal I have a heart and the ability to show compassion. Unlike you"
"You are so pretty when you aren't heavy" - courtesy of my MIL, a few months after giving birth to her second grandchild from us in two years. (I gained about 35 pounds for the first and 2 pounds on top of that for the second). Meanwhile, her other son is a good 20 pounds underweight from switching to "healthier food intake". He was never overweight.
"Well, I can always lose the weight, but you'll still be a mouthy old twat".
Maybe I'll save that line for the dramatic deathbed scenario I only fantasize about but probably won't have the balls to actually make a reality. But twat - yeah, that just about sums up my feelings towards her.
Load More Replies...Some mother in laws are never satisfied and can't keep their trap shut... blind to their own siblings or children trait..
So, having been pregnant for 18 out of the last 24 +/- months, how TF could the OP manage to keep weight off? Sounds like she lost some or all of it the first time, then gained again, plus 2 lbs, the second time. FFS, MIL! Give her a chance to get a routine and birth control going where she can take, and keep, the weight off this time—-should she even want to. She may also have been underweight to begin with, and the extra curves actually look really good on her, making MIL jealous.
My mom lost her first baby when he was 2 days old. Her mom came over and told her she was too fat. My grandmother was a real gem. Thank god my dad's mother stepped in and gave her the love and comfort she deserved.
"And this is the last time you will ever see your grandchildren again. Goodbye"
You're so nice when you're in your own home, minding your own god damn business.
When I got the call that I have the job I wanted for years (after years of part time jobs and bad payment) I went to tell it my family their answer was “you’ll never know what might happen in the future so don’t be to happy about that”
What a strange comment, could they just not be happy for you for that moment?
Some people can't. When I was maybe 17, I bought one (!) really, really cheap shirt (maybe 5 DM at that time) for myself while I usually only had hand me downs from my older siblings. When I happily brought my lucky find home my mother said "don't buy so many clothes you will not always stay that skinny!" Way to ruin an innocent good mood!
Load More Replies...Cut them out of your life ASAP! Anyone who hears good news, that you’re really excited about, and is such a miserable f**k that all they can do is just p**s all over your excitement, is toxic and doesn’t deserve to share in all your future successes.
Good grief. Some people are so miserable they can't be happy for anyone else's good fortune.
What the hell? Don't be happy? What miserable sod what say that to someone?
Step-uncle-in-law gave me advice about giving birth
Could said “I didn’t know you’d given birth. All this time I thought you just had a huge beer gut!”
Load More Replies...My sister in law is a nun. She often gives me advice on child rearing and marriage.
It always makes me laugh when people go to priests whom have never married for relationship advice. Craziness.
Load More Replies......well was he knowledgeable about it? Without context, this comment is meaningless
I wonder how mothers-to-be find out about birthing. It's not knowledge you have from birth is it? You read up on it, I'm pretty sure *some* of those books are written by very knowledgeable "boys"(lol) that studied and even doctored in this scientific field. Thank you to those authors, both male and female.
Unless the male relative is also her OBGYN (which is impossible for professional reasons), his advice can only ever be from generalized data and statistics. The only person who can actually sort out the relevant advice needed for a given case is the person with access to the medical record, and that’s the pregnant person’s own physician.
Load More Replies...My Aunt had a habit every time she saw me, she’d say “showing a bit too much cleavage there honey!” She would then grab the neckline of whatever I was wearing at the time and trying to tug it up…………I mentioned it to mum and informed her from then on I planned to wear my most low cut shirts/dresses………She approved!
Great response! Your aunt's physical behaviour also makes one wonder whether SHE wasn't enjoying the cleavage a bit too much herself...
“Gee Auntie, didn’t know you were such a pervert. Get your hands off me now, or I’ll be mailing them back to you”. Keep your composure. Don’t yell or freak out. Be cool. Just say it loudly and firmly, but calmly, and be sure there are plenty of witnesses too, starting right from the moment she grabbed you and opened her mouth. Hopefully she’ll fall down dead on the spot from the humiliation of being exposed as a perve in front of the whole family.
Lol, once we met our neighbours, an elderly couple, around their 80's and she tried to tug at my shirt as well.... too bad, it doesn't go higher and neither does anything I wear, I've got a shoulder to shoulder tattoo that I love too much to have it covered ;p
Grab the seat of her pants and reply "Showing a bit too much a*****e there dearie."
“Are you gay or just dumb” -Grandma 2020
I’m pansexual and i told her GENTLY that I was pan and she goes “hmm okay tell me Elyssa are you “pansexual” or just f***king dumb” and I said “well…I….hmm…both?” And she rolled her eyes at me and walked away smh
Should've told her that you fůck dumb people. That would've shut her up
Load More Replies...Tell her “I just take after you, Grandma”, then let her sit and stew on it for a while.
Wow!!! Never heard that one! How on earth did she come up with such a disgusting question to her own grandchild? I would love my children and my family and friends no matter what. If your child is happy and you don't outlive them, that is a blessing. ❤
I WANNA COME TO THAT BITCHES FUNERAL AND SAY "THIS M**********R DESERVED TO DIE EARLIER"
I'm a grandma to three boys. I would never in my wildest dreams be so horrible and downright rude to my lovely grandsons. What a nasty old woman.
My 71yo Aunt's husband who looked at my 21yo nigerian girlfriend saying that her skin color give him so much butterfly "down there"... My aunt was present so has my GF's mom...
I forgot to add that 2 weeks later, he grope her boobs from behind in front of the all family, "as a joke"...
That's sexual assault. Hate crime, too - I'm guessing he considers any non-white woman fair game for assault. I can't begin to imagine the hurt and violation of your girlfriend. I hope someone screamed at him at the very least.
Load More Replies...men don't think this is okay..... "Some men" do Just as some dogs will attack out of the blue and most dogs don't.
Load More Replies...That man was probably a childmolester in his long life and many knew about it and no one did shite about it :( I hope you got out of there and let them deal with it... Also, I hope you you never get to meet that piece of trash ever again but if you do, turn around, you both do not deserve to be treated this way. Have a happy life with your girlfriend <3
Thirty years ago, my aunt (dad's sister) took me out to dinner to make sure I knew that the reason I was raped during a home intrusion a year earlier was because my mom was a whore when she was my age (she wasn't a virgin when she married my dad so... whore). "Sins of the father" type of bullshit. She had only just found out about the assault because my dad made me keep it a secret from that side of the family or she would've informed me when it happened, I'm sure. Cherry on top was becoming the "bad guy" in the family because I refused to be anywhere she was - I was supposed to put my feelings aside so as not to disrupt the family.
Horrible human being. She's also deluded if she thinks that nuns are immune to sexual assault, let alone victim-blaming old bitches. It can happen to boys and men, too. Sounds like your father knew his sister was a judgmental, punitive shithead.
Oh no, he hid it from them out of shame - not to protect me from her. He defended her after this happened, even. One of the MANY reasons he's been ejected from my life. (He was worried about his parents reaction - they were amazing & so sad that they couldn't be there for me right after it happened.)
Load More Replies...I'm appalled at how nasty people can be, and I'm so sorry all of this happened to you. Glad you had the courage to eject him from your life. And other toxic people as well, I hope. Wishing you strength and love.
Been there! My aunt ridiculed my weight literally since I was a baby. Time and time again she embarrassed me in front of my entire family. BTW, I was NOT fat at all. I asked my mom why she never defended me and she said it wasn't worth the trouble. I guess my self esteem wasn't worth it either. I finally decided to cut off all contact with that aunt completely. I got a lot of s**t from family about it but never once did anyone say she was rude and inappropriate. I made the right decision and I've never stopped standing up for myself.
You didn't make a public scene? My aunt tried something similar and I shamed the hell out of her in her favorite restaurant for pulling that c**p. Not sorry. Don't protect others feelings when they choose not to.
Thanks you all for the support & kind words. <3
Don't let those people poison your life for another moment. Scrape them off, move forward and know there are many people in this world who will really be there for you in the ways you deserve. Lots of love to you.
That's a heavy one... "your fault for being raped.."? I don't think so. I was tempted to ask if karma had catch up with your aunt already, but the truth is, it doesn't worth wasting any time on petty people. Just, move on.
This, this makes me so sad... The hiding it part out of shame for anybody else but the real victim, that is just sick. Had an uncle that raped a female taxi driver and (much much later in life) I heard the whole family thought it was her fault because she took a drunk male driver the shortest way home, about 2 kilometres through rural farmland. My dad was really shocked when I told him that same uncle abused me for years on end, most probably because no one really looked at him as the sexual predator he really was. I hope you are doing better now, and that what happened did not define your whole life. Take care.
"Stop crying all the time." My grandma told me the day afther my mom killed herself. I was nine years old.
Some people should be frozen in ice and floated down the Columbia River.
Load More Replies...There needs to be a third button for I don’t want to down vote this but it makes me angry 😡
"She killed herself to get free of you, Grandma. Congrats on being alone."
I'd be interested to hear the back story about the grandmother ..... on a parallel my late 93 yo MIL never showed any emotion after her husband died after a massive heart attack at the age of 62 (a year after retiring) back in the 80's and my late great Aunty Mary was back to work the day after her last (and much loved) husband died in 1991 - never went to the funeral either, not because she was callous but knew she couldn't cope with it.
So, your grandmother lost her DAUGHTER and that's her reaction? I'm surprised that such a psychopath never murdered anyone...
that is a child who is experiencing nobody ever should experience. that is a nine year old child who has to deal with pain that most adults (luckily) don't know. Unfortunately your grandpa was likely projecting his own inability to cry (toxic masculinity and all that) on you, but still. The lack of empathy (as an extremely empathetic person) is staggering. I'm sorry about your mother and the callousness of your grandfather <3 I hope you're doing well.
Grandma deserves a special place in whatever she thinks should be hell...telling that to a 9 year old..... so sad :(
Someone at a wedding came up next to me and literally slapped my leg, remarking "that's for having tattoos!". If it had been a stranger I think I'd have punched them.
Nuh just very loudly ask when/where they learnt to hit someone because you don't like something about their appearance. Shame as much as possible to as many as possible.
Load More Replies...i would have tapped them with my deathy stick and said "that's for being a BBBBBBBBBBBBBiTTTTTTTCHHHHHHHH"
Slap the back of their head then say “And THAT’S for being a moron”.
Oh thanks for the observation... *Knees the person in the gut* That's for giving an unnecessary and unwanted observation...!
You're a better person than me ;) I would have slapped right back with the words "That's for not minding your own bussiness!"
10 years of my life: elderly parents got sick, quit my job, moved in to take care them. Mom died in 6, Dad 4 years later. My older bro and younger sis did not visit, rarely called. After the reading of the will, brother said, “Your free ride is over. Get out. We’re (sister & him) selling the house.” I did corner bro at Dad’s funeral and said: “Your daughter saw how treated your parents. She will do the same to you.” Rest of the family hasn’t spoken to me since. Good riddance.
Octavia, sorry for your loss and thanks for taking care of your parents. But happy for the loss of those sh!tty siblings.
Too bad your parents favored the family a*****e and didn’t give you the house, or at least half of it, in the will. Hope you at least got the contents and all the other assets, and that the house is in a shitty neighborhood, mortgaged to the hilt to pay medical expenses, and not worth a dime.
Load More Replies...Bet he'll complain to anyone who listens how horribly his daughter treats him too, like I wonder where she learnt it from?
Wait you didn't get anything in the will? After all you did for them? That's horrible!!
Ok so this is exactly the situation I am in both parents need me they are 409 miles away sister is only 49 mins away but works a lot of hours she's a Dr I am scared to move in with them after selling my house because I'm just gonna break even at this time due to real estate issues here. What if I go there take care of them they die and my sis decides to throw me out and sell the house????
Free ride? Ugh. Some people have no idea how hard it is to care for a sick person. Much less 2 sick people. You are wonderful to take care of your parents. I know firsthand how stressful it is, but you were given precious time with your parents that your siblings didn't deserve. And I'm so sorry for your loss..
Cousin told me at Christmas time 2016 that I wasn't liked by anyone in the family because of my severe anger issues and autism. I know it wasn't true and he was just annoyed at me for being sad that my other cousins got camcorders and gopros and stuff and I got cheap dresses, but it still made me uncomfortable and angry
Yeah, my sister pulled that s**t. 'Nobody likes you. We all talk about it. Even momma and daddy.'
Last Christmas I spent at my mother's place when I was 17. I'd wanted a Walkman for Christmas and I'd spent most of my salary on Christmas presents for her, stepdad, and 3 siblings and my favourite cousin as he was also there for Christmas. Everyone loved my presents and I saw that my cousin had been given a Walkman. Only one present for me but it was the same size as his so I got excited in any case. Opened it. 3 tea towels. I just looked at my mother and she said that as I'd moved into my own place I needed tea towels more than a Walkman. She spent maybe £1 on my Christmas present, I'd spent around £300 on theirs. I was always the outcast. Toxic family and still have no contact with them 30 years after she died
I guess you...walked, man. (sorry, also may i punch your mother)
Load More Replies...Those cousins.... I hope they never have children of their own, they don't deserve the love. Just because you have autism doesn't make you a lesser person.... my son, geting 30 soon, has autisme and he is one of the kindest people I know. You be you, don't adapt for anyone, find what makes you happy and live your own life, I know for sure you can do it. Even if it means you need some help from others (then your family) there's no shame in that.
I would be careful saying stuff like that to someone with severe anger issues...
jeez unless you're still living with your parents never speak to them again.
One of my emotionally abusive mother's favorite things to say to me whenever she got annoyed (which could be caused by something as simple as realizing there was no cold Coke in the house for her to drink) was, "You're such a stupid, selfish, evil, ungrateful b***h, it's no wonder you don't have any friends! It's no wonder you can't find/keep a romantic partner! The only reason we put up with you is because we have to, we're related to you! Nobody else would want you!" I grew up hearing that for years. I was hoping that after my mother passed two years ago, I'd become closer to my father and brother. However, they've chosen to believe every lie she ever told them about me. Oh well. Can't miss what I never had.
Oh you're here, we thought you would be staying home again
I get this one a lot because it's true - seeing me in public is like seeing a sasquatch. I just go "meh", shrug and move on.
Depends how it was said, they might have been glad to see you, just surprised?
That's not necessarily a bad thing to say to someone. Tone is super important
"You're generally the reason I stay home, but the thought of pissing you off was too good to pass up."
In that case out the door I go. Better food and company at McDonald's
"Where's your "boyfriend"?" They used air quotes and everything! My reply was, "He's working." He always works weekends, still does and now he's my husband, I eventually had him take a Saturday off so they he could meet some of my more extended family.
I started pretending my husband was working so he didn't have to put up with my relatives. They do know he exists though.
They didn't. When they met him they said "Well I didn't really think that you had made him up, but well you never know.." Right in front of him and me! They had seen pictures, my parents had talked about him, it's not like no one had met him, they just hadn't.
Load More Replies...My reply would have been, must be in the same place as your “manners”
My hubby has anti social disorder and my family just knows it and I have no problem sharing that info 😂😂😂 it's not his fault and we manage it quite well together. He is aware and listens, thank God.
My mothers uncle telling me that my boos are just the perfect size when I was only 14.
This is where you play it cheerful and stupid: "Mom! Dad! Uncle Carl just said..."
Some men just need to be castrated, not just chemically but for real. There are way too less eunichs on this world.
Oh I hope your Mom called him out in front of the family and decked him on the spot for it. Bet you anything he did it to her from that same age on as well—-may still have been doing it to her, just now adding her daughter to the list of women in the family to perve on.
Not uncomfortable for me per say because I agreed and appreciated the sentiment, but definitely not the time lol. A little back story . My fiance' and I bought our first home and after it closed we took a trip to his family home state across the country. I had spoken to his grandparents regularly on the phone so they "knew" me but never met me in person. (they are in their 70's / 80's so no technology to video chat). It was my Fiance, me, his brother, his wife, and father all going. Brother J and his wife are a bit famous in the family because wifey is a gold digger and lazy. She never works, and when she does doesn't hold a job for more than a month or so. Spends all his money and when he was deployed there were other questions in the family about her faithfulness, anyhow... Grandpa is in his late 70's and is an old Puerto Rican New Yorker, he gives ZERO f***s about couth. (one thing I adore about him actually) Once we physically met we were instant pals and I adore this man immensely. We all went out for supper the first night and everyone was chatting and catching up. Out of nowhere gramps turns to Wifey and says "So you got a job yet?" She said laughing "No grandpa I'm a stay at home mom" "Why???" He boomed. "Kids have school no? What you need to stay home for now? They aren't in diapers." He looked at me. I thought oh s**t, my turn. "What about you? You still working?" "Yes Grandpa I am." "Still doing 35 hour of overtime a week?" "Yes Grandpa" "Ohhh so you don't live off my Grandson huh? That's good, that's good. How long do you have now at you job?" (15 years grandpa... almost 16." (Turning to her) "Huh so you retire in a few years then? Weird, see (Wife) it's not that hard." I about fell over laughing but held it together. Although awkward, it was nice to know I am not on that man's bad side. I'd like to feel bad for (Wife) but I can't I wasn't raised to take advantage of people and it didn't even bother her. When we got home she had a job handed to her on a silver platter. Work from home, great benefits and great money courtesy of my fiance. She quit just over a month later.
He really does. I don't have any grandparents left so the fact he accepted me immediately melts my heart. He's amazing. (Grandma too ;) )
Load More Replies...I'm glad she likes grandpa, but isn't he shaming "wifey" in the same way the other family members in this post are? No one really knows what's going on unless you walk in their shoes. Bottom line, if you can't say something nice, just smile and say nothing. So much easier to mind your own business and be kind.
Can I hand in a resume for this job? Lol that would be awesome right now!
My wife's aunt and cousin lived with her family for a long time when Wife was growing up. Aunt was an alcoholic single mother, and my inlaws knew that Cousin needed a stabiliziing influence. When my inlaws were dying, we tried to get Cousin to come see FIL before he passed. He refused. Then MIL was dying, and my wife tried once again to get Cousin to come see her, since my MIL had been more of a mother to him than my wife's aunt had been. Cousin refused, again, because he was allegedly "too busy with work." Within a couple of days, I saw Cousin posting all over FB about what a great vacation he was having with his wife (also a very selfish SAHW like in OP's story). So he wasn't "too busy with work" after all, he was "too busy" getting drunk with his wife on vacation. I unfriended him on FB after I saw that.
That is a fantastic grandpa I love him just from the way he called out the gold digger
I love when people are accepted by the inlaws. My hubs was completely adopted by my mom. She doesn't refer to him as an inlaw, but as her son and loves talking about cooking with him. He's a cook by trade. lol. He also adores my family. His family are a little different and he was kind of marginalized by them. We don't have a lot to do with them, heck his own mom or siblings didnt come to our wedding.
I could take up this whole thread with my mother-in-law but one time she asked my husband what my bra size is.
There are treacherous and downright traitorous women everywhere. Look at MAGAt women for a start.
Load More Replies...When I lived with my dad, stepmum and 3 siblings for 8 months at 16 one of the first things my stepmum did was to measure me for a new bra in her bedroom and then went out into the living room and announced to my soldier dad and about 8 other soldiers, all men, that I had 36dd breasts. I was horrified and terrified and embarrassed all at the same time. It was absolutely horrible.
My ex MIL told me that Blonde hair didn't suit me....I was born platinum blonde...
Its ok to ask a lot of questions its also ok not to answer them all
Load More Replies...Mine is a real treat. When he told her that we were going to get married, she asked if we had any other announcements and it took me a second before I realized what she meant and replied "No...I'm not pregnant, your son actually just wants to marry me" And that's just one of the many things she's said to me. At least he always takes my side.
I don't know what to think of that - are your family incredibly rude or are you just very open people? I guess it all depends on context. My MIL could ask this about me and it wouldn't even be ill-motivated, regardless of her otherwise usually nasty personality.
Load More Replies...Made lots of jokes about mental disorders, and a good deal of homophobic comments.
People of color and people who don't speak English in my extended family. and my mom used to wonder why I never wanted to go for Thanksgiving. She no longer wonders
they do indeed suck, the suck more than a brand-new industrial vacuum.
Load More Replies...You have just described my late MIL - 94 when she died this year, racist, hypocritical and spiteful. Funnily though, during the 39 - 45 war, she was apparently well known to show a good time to many of the black American GI's and Indian Airmen stationed at the local airbases ........ This info was given at the wake by her younger sister ....
There's just always that one relative or a family member who has a lot of obnoxious stuff to say, nobody likes to hear it, but still has to. It seems like a magical ability to just share things that nobody wants to hear. One relative of mine just talks non-stop about her ailments, it's depressing. The other just had some really unpleasant opinions.
I have two cousins my age ca 40 who both are mentally disabled whom I love dearly but while one of them is so funny and outgoing, the other one is not and talks about weird stuff like the colour on rocks or something extremely boring and the one outgoing who is more disabled, doesn't have the patience to talk to the other and afterwards she is worned out of her mind. But they are so sweet and precious and I'm blessed to have grown up with them🥰❤❤❤❤
No, they DO NOT “just have to” head it. Why give one a*****e that much power. Cut them off at the knees by calling them out on it, loudly and in front of everyone else, every single time they open their filthy mouth. Maybe then they’ll be too humiliated to show their face at family gatherings anymore, and the rest of you can finally have nice, relaxed, and happy times together, without him pissing all over your good times. Shove assholes like that right back under their rocks, and pour a ton of cement over those rocks so they stay under them, permanently. People like that have been given too much license to be assholes for too long, especially since 2016. We don’t have to put up with it, and need to work hard to marginalize them, turn them into social pariahs, until they decide to act right. If they do, they get another chance. If they don’t, they stay pariahs. I know that sounds like pure social identity theory, but sometimes society has to put aberrant types in their deservedly low place—-and definitely NOT on a pedestal.
Yes I have that family member who can't just listen. Everything is about her and her ailments. She's complained about arthritis since she was 18, constantly goes to the ER for non-emergencies. Constantly complaining about her diarrhea, hemorrhoids, joint pain, swollen feet, PTSD. Carry's a purse FULL of meds that she dumps in front of everyone and makes a huge production of taking. It and her hypochondria is exhausting to everyone including to perfect strangers that she inappropriately dumps on.
My almost 92 year old aunt. No filter, and cusses like a sailor. I have a nephew that is mixed race, and she complains all the time about the other race. My daughter says that she will live forever because neither God mor the devil want her around. She has no kids or spouse and she calls me just to complain. Oh Lord! Give me strength! When I was depressed and looked like a skeleton, she said I looked good. Now that I am better and have gained weight, I am fat.
My grandmother used to tell me as a child that I should not work, reading too much will make me go blind, stop being so opinionated--all things that would deter marrying a man to take care of me. I was a size 6, but my she gave me the nickname of little pig. If I lived "right", I would find a wealthy man to take care of me. Jokes on them. I got straight As, achieved bachelors and masters degrees, and have a well paid tech job. I don't need a man to take care of me. I can buy all my own stuff. I do have to admit I did marry, but I am the high earner in the relationship. I used to think her thinking was antiquated "traditional" chinese values. I realized they are just judgemental arseholes.
Aw come on Stephanie. You must know that person that ALWAYS complains at EVERY family gathering. Never positive, always negative.
Load More Replies...Me (age 23 F at the time) saw my maternal Grandfather who I hadn’t seen since I’d been on chemo and steroids, which obviously changed my appearance somewhat, specifically made my face very swollen and lost a lot of my hair. We didn’t see him often (his choice)… his first words, “Huh, you certainly look different now you’re older, I wouldn’t even have recognised you - didn’t you used to be a model? Shame.” Yep, cheers dude.
I was at a family Thanksgiving,it was warm, we live in the south of the u.s. I was the new stepmom to a beautiful,and awesome, intelligent and incredible nine year old,who is now all of those things in a 40+ year old woman. She, being a kid, accidentally knocked out the screen to the sliding door, because she ran through it not seeing it was in place. My MIL lost it and screamed " *stepdaughter*, you are stupid and a loser and you always will be, just like your fat loser mother!!!" Death silence. Kid crying. I took her by the hand, announced we were leaving and anyone who wanted to be in the car better be ready in fifteen minutes. My husband was there. After he had a few words with his mom. My stepdaughter called me mom from then on. ( She calls her mother mommy. And ftr, her mom is very cool.)
Kudos to you on so many levels - standing up for the child, loving & supporting her well into adulthood, giving her mommy props and support. If only the rest of the world would follow such values...
Bet that “stupid” “loser” kid grew up to be a huge success, and MIL is just stewing—-or maybe even trying to suck up to her because she’s successful and MIL is a miserable greedy b***h who wants to take credit for it.
MIL-to-be said I was "ruining her son's life" by not having children. I was always open with him about my intentions. When I said that if I did have a child, I would adopt because so many children need homes, she said "not healthy white babies." FYI, my family has a ton of mental illness and breast cancer; both his parents and 3/4 grandparents were alcoholics. What kind of an a- hole would I be to pass those genes on? BTW, she was a Republican. Once again, "caring" about fetuses but not children.
We were staying at this inn for my sister in-law's wedding, and I had a horrible UTI. My husband inadvertently mentioned this to his mother, and when I came down for breakfast the next morning she said "Hey how's your crotch" in front of everyone. Aunts, uncles, EVERYONE. I was mortified. His family is very wealthy too; just goes to show you can't buy manners.
Reply: “Fine. I see that sphincter in your face is still inflamed”.
"Hey how's your crotch?" "Better than your manners, thanks for asking!"
My mum’s father at my brother’s 18th Birthday. “Your mother should have never married your father, biggest mistake of her life, she had so much potential, she could have done anything!” They’ve been happily married for 40 years and if they hadn’t married, neither I nor my brother would exist, so…
Yeah, but to be fair, he was most likely an a$$hole long before the OP's father entered the picture. So, it's a good thing she found and married someone that wasn't an a$$hole.
Load More Replies...If your pm’s happy with HER choices in life—-as if she couldn’t marry your Dad and STILL pursue HER dreams, not her father’s dreams—-then tell Grandpa he can just BUTT OUT!
I think it was guilt tbh
Load More Replies...My aunt from my step-side of the family was going on about “providing the first male grandchild” — my brother was standing right next to her and grandma.
I would've semi-whispered: "Her memory is going... It's the age thing!" But then again, I am known for speaking first and thinking never.
I was the first grand child on Step family side and bio dads side. I'm not considered so by either.
This wasn't at a family gathering, but my dad says a lot of rude things. He's nice but he gets really passive aggressive towards anything he even vaguely disagrees with. This one time I was having my friends over soon and was reminding my parents to use the right pronouns for my non-binary friend. My dad then said, in the most FREAKING CONDESCENDING TONE, "oH, sO tHeY'rE mUlTiPlE pEoPlE aRe ThEy?" Same person who got very passive aggressive when I got out of a crowded place after having a panic attack due to the noise and went to put my earbuds in to listen to music. "are you SURE you want to put noise in your ears if you were SO WORRIED about loud noises?" I was even brave enough to come out to him as lesbian, and he still asks me if I'm 'interested in any boys atm' and refers to my 'future boyfriend' despite being fully aware I don't like guys. He's usually nice but it makes it really hard to love him when he acts like anyone with a different opinion to him is 1/2 a year old and needs to have it spelt out for them.
I would love to explain to your dad how the pronoun "you" is actually plural. "Thee" is the singular second person, AKA the familiar pronoun. At some point, they cut to the chase and kept using the plural second person. Also, for people that like to speak to their god, "Thee" is not the formal way to address someone, it's quite the contrary. We have the same thing in Italian, "Tu" is the familiar, "Voi" is the formal way (in some parts of Italy). We also use the female third person singular (lei) as a formal way of addressing someone, male or female, and that's just weird. Languages are weird.
You don’t have to love him. You can cut him out of your life. Be your authentic self, find a wonderful loving woman, treat each other like gold, and have a happy, a*****e father-free life. I can well understand how being raised by an a*****e like him can certainly color your opinion of men. I hope you have plenty of platonic male friends who are the polar opposite of him.
Reminds me of my dad - he can be pleasant and nice, until he's not. Some folks don't have filters. A while back, I hung up on him after blowing up at him for insisting that religious people are stupid. Yes, I tried to explain that many interpret scripture rather than taking it literally (such as viewing the Christian creation story as a metaphor and not literal fact). Anyways, I think we got that out of the way. The next time, we played an informal but fun game of "Guess the scientist": he remembers a lot of the science, but forgets names of scientists.
Actually, your dad sounds worse than mine. Mine is just irritating at times and I can at least answer back (which I never used to do - a few years a go, I stopped giving a s**t). Your dad sounds more like my late brother who had a gift for saying some pretty nasty things, often with an air of contempt. I finally cut him off because it was too difficult to have a relationship with him.
Load More Replies...You know how crusty old men tell young women to "smile" when we don't appear insanely happy at all times? WELL... A few years ago I got told to "smile"... by my own cousin... at our grandmother's funeral... Just me... not my older brother who was standing beside me, just me... I was on vlthe verge of tears of course and just wanted to slap him!
I really HATE when people do that!!! A couple of years ago, I stopped to get gas. A random man told me that I'd be prettier if I smiled. I replied, in a very cold voice, "I'm on my way to my husband's funeral." (I really was.) The guy had the decency to look ashamed and apologize.
He should be ashamed to have opened his mouth in the 1st place.
Load More Replies...You should’ve asked him why HE was so happy your grandmother was dead that he wanted you to smile.
I love my dad but he does this all the time and doesn't understand why it makes me so angry.
"So, you're marrying a "J*p?" Racist Uncle
I never said that excused racism.I stated something I'm angry about.sorry for confusion
Load More Replies...no, uncle, Robin is NOT marrying a Jeep. The car can't propose or be proposed to!
Calling someone a J*p is racist but people constantly call the British, Brits, and that is not? Please explain
Term linked to a history of oppression i.e. the internment camps vs. Brits which I believe some British people use as well (not sure on that last one) . The word J** has no positive contexts unlike some other slurs which have largely been reclaimed by their respective communities. Hope this helps!
Load More Replies..."Way you said that you are burn out and depressed because of your job? You are sitting in the office whole day! Your grand grand father worked in a coalmine since his was 16 and wasn’t depressed single day of his life! Your grandfather run the still mill and wasn’t depressed to. Depression is a modern word for the lazy and weak people". And the same evening: "Anyway, you are already passed the age to have children (I am male 35 years old). You will be too old and weak to support them through college and no child should have an old boring parent to whom he has to look after in his prime age."
Sadly yes. Ones my aunt told my mother thay she should give her expensive jewelry to one of my nieces because "Soon you will be to old to wear them and you will probably never have a granddaughter to pass them to. So the best option to hand them right away to the person who will liked it" (her daughter).
Load More Replies...My parents were 40 when they had their youngest, my grandparents were 46. Get married and have a kid when you're ready.
Uh-huh, sounds familiar. "At your age, I had to walk to school 15 kilometers, while fighting off wolves and bears, wearing old socks for mittens, and because of that walking barefoot in the blistering cold and 20 meters of snow! In fact, that's how I learned how to swim!!"
Little does this a*****e realize, but Great-Grandpa and Grandpa WERE depressed. They just hid it, as people used to back in the day. Bet they died young too, maybe even one of them from a covered up suicide. People used to be very adept at hiding things like that.
Drowning in a pool and drowning in an ocean are the same thing. Either way, YOU'RE GONNA DROWN AND YOU NEED HELP.
Not my family but my "Uncle in law". We were at the christmas dinner and their parties are really long. I am a migrant and then I still struggled to understand them when they all speak at the same time in the parties and it was very tiring for me. I was five hours speaking and listening to flemish when I forgot how to say a word. My UIL got really upset and gave me a very angry speech about how "This is Flanders and you must speak Flemish" and kept rambling about "immigrants not integrating". Like I said not only I had been 5 hours in a flemish speaking room but also at the time I was going 4 days a week to language classes. But yeah, migrants don't want to integrate... Nobody in the table except my partner defended me. Probably because deep inside they are as xenophobic as him.
Xenophobia is such an ugly thing, and many flemish people seem to be secretly suffering from it. I feel bad for you, but please don't let it get to you, as it is just their own petty little narrow mind not being able to expand beyond their own little lives. All the loss is on them, you are much stronger than they will ever be.
Thanks! Yeah it seems to be quite a problem here where I live. But I still found great people so I try to focus on that :) It doesnt help that with the pandemic I have lost a lot of the skill that I had before due to lack of practise.
Load More Replies...Hmmm, this may sound weird as I'm telling personal issues to strangers but somehow I can relate to this particular post. In few words, I'm going to divorce my flemish wife of 8 years because her family despite being ultra nice in appearance, they literally put the mind twisting bug of doubt in her head. Plus they have this kind of "showing off" attitude while despite being hard workers are just plain imbeciles (in a matter of intellectual behavior). They're purebred flemish and while my family learnt a bit of english (including my 60+ years old parents) in order to speak with my wife, my inlaws never made the slightiest effort. Don't want to sound rude or xenophobic myself, but I'm very pissed off that some illiterate people pretend I learn and know their language by hand overnight (I'm Italian and fluent in four languages, while knowing also various ancient ones). Noticed that illiteracy and analphabetism are a huge problem amongst many Flemish speaking people (usually from 30+).*
I completely relate to your feelings. All my family bends backwards to speak english and make my partner confortable. Even my grandmas and father that dont speak english tried french with him (but didnt work) so they use me to translate. His family (and most of his friends) spoke flemish from the moment 0 despite that all speak english (no grandma pr the kids but the adults). They even do it when they come to my home. I find it really rude to come to somebodys house and still demand that they speak flemish. They are really against me and while when I am there they tend to be polite they dislike me. For example the first thing his mother did when we registered as a couple "samenwonen" wasnt to congratulate us or anything. She told him to be careful "so i wouldnt steal his house if we split up". Same now that I am disabled. She keeps making xomments about how "i need to focus on improving" (aka go back to work lazy migrant) instead of asking for disability help.
Load More Replies...They should spend some time in Britain, many people born here still can not speak English properly 20 years later.
It is really difficult to learn a new language as an adult who needs to work (so you cant study full time like I had the privilege of doing) and with little opportunities to practise.
Load More Replies...And how many languages could that lovely man speak himself? Flemish & bad Flemish?
Ha Ha!!! Like the Belgians bothered to "assimilate" when they colonized and subjugated huge chunks of the world.
One thing i learnt from migrants: happiest life is when both partners move to a neutral country, so both of them are migrants.
Step-uncle-in-law told me if I had a C-section I would never be "skinny" again. Who are you?!
Loudly and publicly reply “ And why are you SO concerned about my figure AND my groin area, Unc?” Call him out for the pervert he is.
I assume this is the same step-uncle-in-law that was offering childbirth advice in the earlier post? Sounds like he has a complex, but definitely NOT a reasonable knowledge base from which to offer advice.
When they always talk about how skinny I am at family gathering, where in fact I'm quite normal (BMI 23, body fat 18%). I didn't hate my current look anyway... In Indonesia, some people believe that overweight person looks like a rich man, and those who have less fat looks like a beggar.
Overheard SIL say I got really fat. I am disabled and chronically ill, what's you excuse?
I get the opposite. People always commenting about skinny and frail I look. I too and disabled and chronically ill.
That's just as awful; the last thing we need is criticism from thoughtless people, especially family, when every day is a battle. *Gentle hugs*
Load More Replies...If she does it again, call her out. Repeat your last sentence, only loudly and in front of as many other peolle as possible.
You👏DON'T 👏comment👏on👏people's 👏body weight👏unless👏you're 👏their👏doctor👏 seriously though stop pretending you care about our weight when in reality you have one of three motivations societal expectations,attention,or control
My aunt told me that I should “stop being bisexual” and that it was wrong of me to be bi…On the day my grandma died
“That’s really rich, Auntie, considering that BOTH men AND women find you repulsive”.
My mother's Aunt Jean was a woman who couldn't keep her opinions to herself, and rarely stopped talking. We don't have family reunions regularly, so the first one after Aunt Jean died was the first chance Uncle Harry, her husband, had had in years to speak without Aunt Jean interrupting him. He was chatting up a storm with far-flung relatives when my mother and I arrived and carried our food over to add to the lunch choices. Mom whispered to me, "The man talking without taking a breath is my Uncle Harry. He hasn't seen you since you were a toddler." I nodded, unsure what to do with that information. Mom walked over and greeted Uncle Harry with a kiss on the cheek. His eyes lit up and he focused his unending rush of words on her. When I walked over to join mom, she told him who I was and I just smiled, unsure what to say to him. I certainly didn't remember him from my toddler days. Uncle Harry turned his attention to me, gave me a quick once-over and smiled big. "The last time I saw you, you were still in training pants!" I nodded and smiled. "You sure got fat!" ...thanks, Uncle Harry. It became clear that during the decades of Aunt Jean shushing and over-talking him, he'd forgotten about basic manners, discretion, and tact. Harry died a few years later, long before the next reunion.
Who are married to even more problematic Aunt Jeans.
Load More Replies...My step-grandfather hugged me (16 at the time), kissed my neck and then said "Mmm...so tender". I've never wanted to disappear so badly before.
We were invited to an aunt's sister's wedding. The aunt in question is my dad's brother's wife and she's a real nasty woman. Got into fights with almost all the members of the family but since they stay at my grandma's we still used to talk. Anyway she's always been jealous of the fact that my mum is a working lady and that since my dad's skin is fairer than my uncle, I turned fairer than her daughter. (I'm the eldest grand-daughter). My mum's skin is darker and my brother's too. So at that wedding she was sitting with everyone and decided to say that there was another proposal for my dad before his wedding to my mum. And she chose to emphasize that said lady was also fair right in front of my mum and me and everyone else. As if this wasn't enough she told me, "Imagine if your dad married her, you'd be even fairer, like a foreigner." My blood boiled then and there but mum said not to say anything. Thankfully i didn't have to, another auntie said that there's no need, I amalreadyfairer than her daughter and better looking alredy, anymore and they'd have to hire body guards. "Maybe we should have married 'my uncle' with her. then maybe your daughter would look same as 'me'." My evil aunt got offended and left to see her sister. No need to say we never went to another wedding on her side of the family after. She's current not on speaking terms with anyone in the family.
My brother launched into a diatribe about how my relationships from 16 to 25 were basically sex for money. Not even going to offer up my stance.
looks like he got a whole lotta free time to keep a tab of his sis's relations n sex life.....creepy
At funeral for grandfather: super religious (Irish Catholic) Aunt to my then girlfriend (now wife of almost 15 years): "so what religion are you" Wife: "my family is evangelical free" SRA: "oh, well, you know you are still going to hell, right?"
Partners father, at a family meal, said he thought Hitler had some good ideas… that was just one comment which seems to sum him up for me.
My aunt couldn't stop telling how special it was that - now her daughter was pregnant - they could spend their days doing precious mother/daughter-stuff. I lost my mother when I was 10. I never had a mother/daughter-thing, and will never get them either. But I didn't dare to say how much those words were hurting me.
Sounds like she was excited to be a grandmother and not out to hurt you with her words. Of course, idk if there's any backstory there. While it's sad you lost your mom, mother/daughter things go on for others. I hope she was not trying to hurt you but just thrilled.
"It is so much nicer when you are not here, please don't come home for the summer." Just before summer break in college. Twice, once a day before the dorms closed. The other, hours before we were evicted. Her actions, followed by my family denying it, even in the midst of her publicly humiliating me, have given me PTSD. At two she told me my birth ruined her life, I knew nobody would believe me and she would deny it at 2. They believe her lies -- without question. Most recently she gave me 6 months to leave her apartment. My PTSD was intensified due to a horrible rape. She owned the apt I lived in. Where did she think I would live? My father came to my rescue. She denies anything happened and says it was a good financial move for my father. He never corrects her. Her new husband went through my apartment and took what he wanted. Everything was dumped on the floor. It was impossible to get past the entry three weeks before the moving trucks arrived. There was a class in self harm and suicide prevention. After at least one hospitalization a year for 9 years, she made sure I couldn't attend. I developed serious physical health problems, she insisted I switch doctors from the best in Boston to local doctors. When I moved out of Boston, she couldn't understand why I refused to talk to her. Within six months, all the serious problems went away or. drastically improved. I always believed the entire family didn't want me to return, recently I discoved it was just her. Mothers have the power to destroy lives and she knows it.
Mothers DO have that power. Unfortunately. Some people shouldn't have children,
My mother begged the priest to let her use birth control every Saturday at confession. It didn't take long for the priest to figure it out, "Yes please use birth control, you should not have any more children." She quotes him, never understanding what he meant. (1965)
Load More Replies...DELETE THIS OR VOTE DOWN., WHILE ALL OF THIS HAPPENED WHILE OTHERS WATCHED. IT WAS NOT A COMMENT AT A GATHERING.
"you shouldn't have cut your hair so short. people might think you're gay." WAIT PEOPLE MIGHT THINK IM GAY IF I HAVE SHORT HAIR?! hold on, lemme shave it all off, NANA, cause maybe i wanna look gay! (we're on fine terms, i still love her, but she doesn't know im non binary so... awkward)
Helping senile family move. Wrapping an ancient candy with great care. "I guess you are going to steal that too", popped out of her distant memory bank. I said nothing. What good would it have done.
Also should have typed "family member". My brain is obviously not awake.
It’s sad there are enough relatives who grab sick old relatives’ stuff that it’s almost expected these days.
Load More Replies...We got it, Banana. I think a lot us of are here in the middle of the night and miss every other word anyway!
Load More Replies...Not family, but when I was about 50, my Father told a group of people (at church, in front of me) he was glad he put me on birth control as a teenager so I wouldn't get pregnant. I was on hormones but it was due to a problem regulating my cycle and he had NOTHING to do with it.
Someone asked "How is your sister?" when I haven't seen her or heard from her since she left her child with me and my mom and my niece was standing right next to me!
My great Aunt told me one Christmas,as I got a beer, that "only whores drank from the bottle in her day.
Wearing bright red lipstick in the mid 80ties. 75 year old male relative asked what was up with the lipstick. Only whores wear that color. WTF.
Biological father on his deathbed, the first time I saw him since my parent divorced when I was 4 years old. “your mother was a cheapskate, she didn't share me the money from the house sale” That's it, the only thing he said to his only daughter after 22 years, before his death. I asked ny grandma permission to went home and she said “yes my darling, you're free to do anything you want, and this is your last duty as his daughter, you don't have to come again” she knew how hard it was and hugged me, and we cry together (she was awesome, miss her much) _____ FYI my mother bought the house with her own money and raised 3 children on her own.
“Hey Sis! Is the reason your gay because Mom dropped you on your head as a baby?”
"No, sis! She dropped YOU on your head, not me! That's why you're so stupid!"
Years ago and it was to my ex and not me. We were young and expecting our son. We were at a large family function and I had left her alone for a bit, probably off to say hello to someone. Came back and several middle aged+ biddies had surrounded her and were telling her horror stories of births gone wrong which was plainly freaking her out. I came over sat beside her, smiled at them and told them they could all just f**k right off. Think I even got a "well I never" or two :)
My great aunt, no joke, asked me when I was going stop being "childish" and act "properly". I was ten.
“Bats will intentionally fly into your hair to give you rabies” said my sister in law. I was astonished at the depth of ignorance. This woman is now a national celebrity (no longer my SIL.)
I (F) was 13 yrs old at the time, and my dad asked me at a family gathering if I realized my face was broken out...
Dude, that is not ok. My family will do that, (I'm 13) and it is horrible for self-esteem
okkk so giving ,even if they r helpful, tips doesnt excuse d fact tht d teen, for all v know already being insecure, her/his father is making him/her more conscious abt it by announcing it////
I was sitting next to my sister at my grandfather’s funeral when we heard our semi-senile great aunt talking about us from behind. She said, “Those girls sure have fat necks.”
My grandmother told me I had a short neck and no ass. I became instantly aware that she was right! As self-conscious as I was I had never noticed before. I know she wasn't trying to be cruel. She quickly pointed out that she too was short-necked and ass-less. That was 30 years ago and it's funny to me now. She died last year and I would give anything to hear another one of her 'helpful' comments.
About 25 years ago, my favorite aunt, whom I adored as a child, said, "You know, I couldn't stand you when you were a kid. But I kind of like you now. I understand you now. Do you like yourself?" She was drunk. After that, whenever she would see me, she'd have to tell me how much she hated me as a kid. I was devastated. To me, this woman hung the moon. It's still hurtful. Since I lived 750 miles away from my family, I didn't see my mother often; therefore, I didn't see my aunt, either. I would go only as a favor to my mother. Eventually, I stopped doing that. I had no desire to see someone that felt the need to say hurtful things to me to make herself feel better. I don't understand what motivates people to be so cruel.
That's horrible. I'm sorry that someone so important to you felt like that.
(note that pretty much everybody is drunk except me, my mom, and my dad) So it’s a casual dinner with 27 people. Everyone is drinking, then someone drives a car into the wall. Who is it you ask? It’s my cousin Lexus, who appears to be unconscious at the wheel. My uncle is asking me (a girlflux) “wHerE is YOur HusBaND” IM SIX GET IT TOGETHER BOB!
He also kept referring to me as Barack Obama. He died because of his drinking problem.
He was actually a nice person when he wasnt drinking.
Load More Replies...Sister’s 21st. I don’t get on with my parents cos they hate my wife. Brother tells my wife it’s her fault, so I break his jaw after he refused to apologise. Now none of the family understand why I don’t talk to any of them!
So she's done absolutely nothing at all to warrant the ire of at least 3 people? My uncle used to give us the freeze over his wife too, until she beat his ass with a baseball bat...while he was in bed asleep. Not saying your wife is that mean, or even guilty of anything, but why does your family dislike her?
Sounds like brother was giving you the reason / telling the truth and you seriously overreacted to that.
No, not really. This was after 5 years of sniping, backstabbing and gaslighting by my parents. They were very controlling and had a plan for me that I didn't like, so they took out their anger on my wife. Think of every fictional toxic family, roll them together and that's mine. This was simply the end result and well overdue.
Load More Replies...I was at Christmas dinner and my grandpa said "That's a lot of food, are you sure you can eat all that" then I proceeded to leave the table and go to my room and cry.
...he was obviously worried about you overeating he doesn't want you to get a stomach ache??
I'm naturally skinny and get asked that all the time. I don't get offended.
*looks grandpa in the eye* *cronching noises while maintaining eye contact*
After my Dad's funeral, my mother in law comes up to me, points to my father in law and says, "he's your Dad now". I was so dumbfounded by her comment and it still baffles me.
Let's not overreact. As misplaced as that comment was, and it's very misplaced.. it could have also come from a place of wanting you not to feel fatherless and alone. A supportive way, in their own misguided way.
My MIL said the same thing but in a loving way. She wanted me to know they would be glad to have me think of them as my parents. And I did! I loved my in-laws (most of the time - just like parents!) and feel lucky to have had them in my life.
Load More Replies...not at a gathering.. but my stepdad told me he almost grabed my ass because allegedly i look like my mom from behind... and we would wear similar pants.. that's some what rigt because we both wear jeans but she is 13cm/5 inc smaller then i am.. soo yeah
You probably look like he wants her to look, or is setting up the excuse ready for when he tries something in the future
well.. i'm in my 30's now... that happened when i was 17.. i'm glad to report he did not try anything
Load More Replies...My dad bit my bum when I was 13 years old. He mistook me for my mum. I was up some ladders putting Xmas decorations up, he was quite tipsy and didn't have his glasses on so didn't see who it was. He was mortified when he realised it was me. I should add he didn't do it maliciously, he was playing around and thought I was my mum.
the thing is.. my stepdad did not look mortified.. he thought it was funny and acted as if it was my own fault and it felt like he did it on porpuse
Load More Replies...At my wedding reception, greeting two cousins I had met a total of four times in my life; “Oh, so you finally got around bothering to speak to us then.” (I got on with my Aunt but don’t know why they even came.)
And how long will it be before you make that mistake of speaking with them again?
At my cousin’s wedding my grandma motioned to the very pregnant bride and whispered to me, “I thought you’d be my first grandchild that ‘had’ to get married.” I think I was 12 or so. Many years later at my first wedding, I was 7 months pregnant. Grandma came thru the line, hugged me and again whispered to me, “I knew you’d get married pregnant.” The woman was awesome :D
Grandma died so grandpa remarried. The first thing she said when she met me was, "I thought you'd be skinner!"
My brother and his wife came to visit us in our new home. SIL says it will look nice once you’ve had a chance to paint. The house was purchased freshly painted. I have no intention of painting over the fresh paint. Guess she didn’t like my house. Jokes on her because no one in the family likes her, but we are polite and won’t tell her that.
My Mom called me a pervert for being Omnisexual. Also I came out to her as Ace before that so :]
Basically it is. Even though it's just another example of people trying to be "not like other girls" even tho they really aren't different and are just obsessed with being diffrent.
Load More Replies...My preschool cousin telling me, in front of everyone, that I should marry her older sisters (also my cousins, also two of them).
You're going to bitch at a preschool kid for not understanding marriage??
No, she didn't know any better, but that doesn't change how awkward it was for a 12 year old and an 11 year old who were both hoping to just kind of fly under the radar for the family reunion
Load More Replies...She wanted me to come live with them. and she figured that if I married her sisters that I would move in. In retrospect it was very sweet, but having 30 or so family members laughing in your direction is mortifying when you are just hitting puberty.
Load More Replies...While I do see how that could be awkward, little kids don't understand marriage. You just have to take time to explain to them to avoid this in the future.
Well, it is when cousin-marring isn't a tradition in your family.
Load More Replies...A conversation at Thanksgiving one year "so like polygamy" me: "No grandma, polyamory. I'm dating him and her." grandma: "oh" ... "..." ... "her too?" me: "yes, her too." grandma: "ok" I have a lot of Mormon (all monogamous) relatives, so she probably thought I was wading deeper into that pool.
nothing incredibly "terrible" so to say, but it still was very uncomfortable for me when i was a child.... My dad is atom physicist in a research institute... Everyone in my family, even friends and acquaintances kept on saying how much i look like my mother and how my dad for sure must have "experimented on clones" or something like that... How i could be a clone of my mother because i just look exactly like her. To me, it was hurtful because 1. i have an other eye color and nose shape - people seemed to not notice, i thought people didn't see properly or their observation skills were just really bad... 2. i felt like my dad (who did at least half of the NATURAL creation work) was left out, felt uncomfortable too ...but since i am the only girl in the family they never had someone of the same gender of that part of the family (besides my grandmother) to compare me with. 3. i do not like to be a "copy" of someone (i just rather preferred to be compared to my dad, because, i guess intelligence is more important than looks to me) 4. being exactly like someone who you are having constantly arguments and disputes with is not a nice comparison. 5. it wasn't an unique comment, i kept on hearing it every time i met some family friends or family members But looking back I think they were all just trying to be nice and if someone tells me now how much i look like my mother, i take it as a compliment, because she is 56 years old and still look super young and beautiful and i hope i take after her genetically speaking. - i still value education more than looks tho and i see how sad my mother is to see how her beauty is slowly fading.
On point number 4, it is often the case that you clash with those you are most similar to, especially if you're both stubborn.
I get the same comments all the time and completely understand why it’s not a nice comparison. I’m my own person, not a carbon copy or a clone, with my own achievements that get ignored in favour of comments about my looks. I’m glad you’re able to turn it around into a compliment.
I visited my uncle, after having not seen him in a couple years. A bunch of family was over, and I walked in the door, excited to see everyone. Before I could start to give Uncle a hug, he hit me with this furious look and demanded, "Are you actually going to vote for that f*****g b***h?" He then proceeded to throw every possible pearl-clutching FOX News propaganda at me. He didn't even say hi, how are you, how was the drive, do you want something to drink, nothing. Just shouting about how much he hated Hillary and "feminazis." It broke my heart that someone who I'd known and loved for 45 years now only saw me as a "librul" and his enemy. That was the beginning of me cutting off my entire family of Trump worshipping religious nutjobs and racist , -phobic assholes.
I'm sorry you lost your family to a cult, that s**t is terrible
Load More Replies...Given my dad's family, too many to choose, so I'll go with hubby. Annoyed by his family quesitoning yet again when we'd have kids when they knew I'd been told I can' have 'em... and having had a shot of hard lqiuor.. Hubby stood up in an elegant marina-side restaurant and said far too loudly, "We're not having kids I GOT MY BALLS CUT". And that, folks, ended that. :-) (This is why Hubby doesn't do liquor. He's *very* honest.)
Your hubby is platinum . Tell him from me
Load More Replies...Can't think of anything nice but there must have been something other than "Judy you should be a model. Afterall they all look like boys these days". Tall skinny and flatchested. Love that aunt but not best at complenting
"wow you look really old" brother the day my dad died who I and my 3 other brothers had been caring for round the clock for 3 weeks and watched him die while that brother had been in Spain getting a tan. "your legs are so white they are blinding me" same brother the day of my dad's funeral. Both times in front of big groups of family. I no longer speak to that brother as he has never been able to be polite in front of people
I hope what many of us are able to take away from this is that there are so many damaged adults passing down their own hurt, trauma and frustrations onto others. It's them, it's not you. It's not about you.
I know that's true. My mom used to say, "sticks & stones will break my bones but words will never harm me." I'd rather poke my eyes out with a stick rather than have to live with those words from someone who supposedly cares about you.
Load More Replies...Meeting a distant relative at a family wedding, stood next to my Aunt who introduced me, conversation went on to talk about my mother. When the distant relative asked “which one Jean or Catherine”? My aunt went white as a sheet and that was the moment I found out I was adopted by my birth mothers aunt and was brought up to believe she was my cousin (for context I was 30 at the time)
Wow, so many nasty, nasty, hurtful, jealous people around. What is wrong with all these people treating others like crap.
My Wife got a Parship coupon and got told, to get a proper husband. We are married now, but still hurts.
My a*****e evangelical brother told my other brother that his son, who had just died by suicide, “lost his battle with Satan.” All from his cozy vineyard tour in Italy.
Ah, yes, there's no hate like Christian love! I hope your family's had comfort since then.
Load More Replies...My uncle passed from covid a year ago. He was my dad's only sibling/brother. Their mother is mentally gone in a nursing facility, so my dad was doing everything to plan the funeral/expenses/etc. I wasn't close with my uncle but knew it hurt my dad deeply with so much of his family gone. At the funeral, one of my dad's cousins came up, teary-eyed. He then proceeded to say "well, we had to put our dog down yesterday." It took all of my self-control not to snap at him to suck it up while my dad was burying his brother. Yes, I love my pets, but I would not be comparing grief at a freaking funeral. I was also feeling very protective of my dad that day as he was trying to keep it together. Plus, the funeral home dug up the wrong grave (my uncle was cremated to be buried with his late wife, they accidentally dug up their father's grave instead, whoops).
I visited my uncle, after having not seen him in a couple years. A bunch of family was over, and I walked in the door, excited to see everyone. Before I could start to give Uncle a hug, he hit me with this furious look and demanded, "Are you actually going to vote for that f*****g b***h?" He then proceeded to throw every possible pearl-clutching FOX News propaganda at me. He didn't even say hi, how are you, how was the drive, do you want something to drink, nothing. Just shouting about how much he hated Hillary and "feminazis." It broke my heart that someone who I'd known and loved for 45 years now only saw me as a "librul" and his enemy. That was the beginning of me cutting off my entire family of Trump worshipping religious nutjobs and racist , -phobic assholes.
I'm sorry you lost your family to a cult, that s**t is terrible
Load More Replies...Given my dad's family, too many to choose, so I'll go with hubby. Annoyed by his family quesitoning yet again when we'd have kids when they knew I'd been told I can' have 'em... and having had a shot of hard lqiuor.. Hubby stood up in an elegant marina-side restaurant and said far too loudly, "We're not having kids I GOT MY BALLS CUT". And that, folks, ended that. :-) (This is why Hubby doesn't do liquor. He's *very* honest.)
Your hubby is platinum . Tell him from me
Load More Replies...Can't think of anything nice but there must have been something other than "Judy you should be a model. Afterall they all look like boys these days". Tall skinny and flatchested. Love that aunt but not best at complenting
"wow you look really old" brother the day my dad died who I and my 3 other brothers had been caring for round the clock for 3 weeks and watched him die while that brother had been in Spain getting a tan. "your legs are so white they are blinding me" same brother the day of my dad's funeral. Both times in front of big groups of family. I no longer speak to that brother as he has never been able to be polite in front of people
I hope what many of us are able to take away from this is that there are so many damaged adults passing down their own hurt, trauma and frustrations onto others. It's them, it's not you. It's not about you.
I know that's true. My mom used to say, "sticks & stones will break my bones but words will never harm me." I'd rather poke my eyes out with a stick rather than have to live with those words from someone who supposedly cares about you.
Load More Replies...Meeting a distant relative at a family wedding, stood next to my Aunt who introduced me, conversation went on to talk about my mother. When the distant relative asked “which one Jean or Catherine”? My aunt went white as a sheet and that was the moment I found out I was adopted by my birth mothers aunt and was brought up to believe she was my cousin (for context I was 30 at the time)
Wow, so many nasty, nasty, hurtful, jealous people around. What is wrong with all these people treating others like crap.
My Wife got a Parship coupon and got told, to get a proper husband. We are married now, but still hurts.
My a*****e evangelical brother told my other brother that his son, who had just died by suicide, “lost his battle with Satan.” All from his cozy vineyard tour in Italy.
Ah, yes, there's no hate like Christian love! I hope your family's had comfort since then.
Load More Replies...My uncle passed from covid a year ago. He was my dad's only sibling/brother. Their mother is mentally gone in a nursing facility, so my dad was doing everything to plan the funeral/expenses/etc. I wasn't close with my uncle but knew it hurt my dad deeply with so much of his family gone. At the funeral, one of my dad's cousins came up, teary-eyed. He then proceeded to say "well, we had to put our dog down yesterday." It took all of my self-control not to snap at him to suck it up while my dad was burying his brother. Yes, I love my pets, but I would not be comparing grief at a freaking funeral. I was also feeling very protective of my dad that day as he was trying to keep it together. Plus, the funeral home dug up the wrong grave (my uncle was cremated to be buried with his late wife, they accidentally dug up their father's grave instead, whoops).
