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It's so easy to get an answer to any question nowadays: just Google it! Although I am thankful for Google and can't really imagine how we managed without it before, it can be a wondrous and bizarre place of unexpected searches.
Now, imagine what your cat would search on the internet and post it here!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
lrut;weghl;wthgj;welthlsoi znb,bv,glrezffshkgfs mouse mousse recipes how to catch the red dot how to scratch hooman perfectly how catch birb 2ieufhp;owhaois how to keep hooman off gud fur
Final score:
54points
RELATED:
#2
Cute human pics How to explore the world outside your door Gourmet artisinal cat treats and cat grass gift baskets Cat condos in the upper westside
Final score:
34points
#3
How to get your hooman to buy you even more food than you have and need
Final score:
30points
Lauraine Zhou 4 years ago
that is the ultimate question; philosophers have been questioning it for years.
Load More Replies... #5
aremyterdsedible
Final score:
30points
meow point1 4 years ago
That seems more like something my dog would've Googled when she was a puppy.
Amber Vandermallie-Walker (Submission author) 4 years ago
personally my cat eats his terds bc the dogs do :)
Load More Replies... #6
Why the hooman is so mad I scratched her Why are mice so yummy Why is my litterbox dirty Mouse Mouse Mouse Mouse Mouse Mouse
Final score:
29points
#7
How too cleer serch histery so hooman cant post on BP
Final score:
27points
#8
How can I meaw to ask more wet food from mom
Final score:
24points
#9
How to grab the light beam
Final score:
23points
#10
How to explain to my owner that I want and don't want pets at the same time
Final score:
22points
#11
How to make objects bounce after you push them off the table (Hint: first result will be "practice makes perfect")
Final score:
21points
#12
Icanhascheezburger
Final score:
20points
#13
how to catch that damned red light
Final score:
19points
#14
Howtosteelzmonee howtulietourhoomanthatuhavnthadtreetz thebestplacetuleevaturd howtumakamesssss
Final score:
18points
Amber Vandermallie-Walker 4 years ago
ahh i died laughing when i read the 3rd one and my mom yelled at me and told me to do my work :( lmfao tho bro
Dayleen Ortega 4 years ago
My cat is always mewing at my es a ask her why and she said that she hated her because she sat on her when she was sleeping
#15
Are you kidding? like my cat would wake up for long enough to type something.
Final score:
17points
#16
How to catch bird How to open door How to kill dog amazon how do you sell something on amazon how do you sell dog on amazon flea remover pills how do you give hooman pills without dem looking dinners with bird how do you remove a collar
Final score:
17points
#17
Cat 1 How to steal sister's food Fighting strategies Why am I being called "Chonky" Cat 2 How to stop brother from stealing food How to make hooman luv me Best ways to get petted
Final score:
16points
#18
howtogrowthumbs
Final score:
16points
#19
litter boxes near me claw manicures what does "awww floofy" mean from a hooman how to catch fish xqscwevgrbtryjiol
Final score:
15points
#20
pasta pasta pasta pasta yellow pasta green pasta pasta can cat eat pasta how to take over world pasta pasta
Final score:
15points
#22
how to get drunk on catnip why does my human throw out my gifts does my human know there is a demon hiding in the kitchen how to throw up on the rug the proper way when will humans accept cats as our overlords
Final score:
14points
#24
howtogetthethtupiddogintrouble howtosmugglecatcrackintomycondo howtorudelywakeupmyhoomaninthemiddleofthenight bestplacestoleevahairball
Final score:
12points
#25
Human, I am an intellectual being If you are going through my search history Then i demand wet food
Final score:
12points
#26
Why is compooter so comfy? rfehbyfgbhjcn ';jvhy7gh Why hooman get mad at me for slapping them Tuna price cat food Are cats bipolar? Why does hooman sleep when it's 3:00?
Final score:
11points
#27
How to get high off catnip 101 Why doesn't my human let me in the bathroom Why am I so fat? Biography of a cat named Matt efhergiuhguvrvefhiee4ihf4iof How to show my love for my human? Mice or dice? www.Catdesk@wordpress.com"TheJoysofSteak." -I don't have a cat but I love them so I made it up :)-
Final score:
11points
Mila S (Submission author) 4 years ago
Aaaw my brother is allergic so we can't have one :(
Load More Replies... #28
how to politley bite my owner
Final score:
11points
#29
How to reattach your balls
Final score:
10points
Afton (Submission author) 4 years ago
011001100010000001101111001000000110110000100000011011000010000001101111001000000111011100100000011011010010000001100101
Load More Replies...
#31
hhow to cathc the red dot tasty mouse resipes how 2 get hooman to fed me exctra food tasty ffish how too take over the world tasty mice in my areea MEOWWW HISSS AAAAAA NO NO BATH IS BAD how to convinse hooman to not gib bath how to trayn hooman to follow commands YUM YUM I LOVE CATNIP YUM YUM TASTY YUM MEW MEW how to tell if hooman is stoopid are poops bad forr you can you eat poops how too tell if im a Nyan cat aajkfsgddew fferfiewdw defjwerf f why do hooman pspspsspspspspspspsspspsps to me why do hooman summon the dark lord of cats with pspspss evill red dot red dot trayning i lik nyan cats how to eat budgie bird withowt hooman seeing tassty budgie recipess meow mew hi, I don't own a cat (or a budgie for that matter) but was bored and decided to make this. hope you had a good laugh or two!!
Final score:
9points
#32
How to open doors How to break windows with paws
Final score:
8points
#33
how to build up love from your humom `and then bite there T EOS
Final score:
8points
#35
catnip drug dealers in my area stupid dog videos how to create more hell why doesn't hooman like glass cups on da floor how to create black holes why my hooman wants to do the mouse (what the cats hear when we say meow) meow
Final score:
8points
#36
wikihow.com/howtoeathumanhair+ews-we wikihow.com/howtomakemyhumanangry+ar+e wikihow.com/howtogetawaywitheatingallmyfood+wsa wikihow.com/ismylittereditable?+fed
Final score:
8points
#37
How climb shoulders How annoy human Why loves I human How get best scratches How annoy dog Why dog no loves me Best sleepy position
Final score:
8points
hey, not my problem 4 years ago
the logical conclusion..... dog no loves me cause me search ways to annoy dog
Nela Rothenbach (Submission author) 4 years ago
So true, but she doesn't understand the connection
Load More Replies... #38
hxjsixbjskxndjdkcnssrn
Final score:
7points
#39
How to bulk buy Dreamies :)
Final score:
7points
#42
How to rap bird body for gifting why do humans talk to us in their own language top 15 best DIY furniture makeover using only claws
Final score:
6points
#43
1how to make ur Hooman give cat rats 2catazon hooman litter box 3cat coupons I don't have a cat but I imagine -w-
Final score:
5points
#44
How to order boxes from Amazon How to frame the dog Thumb exercises Catnip dealers nearby Philosophy books: The meaning and importance of the red dot Vol I.-III.
Final score:
5points
#45
How to catch the red dot How to catch mouse How to escape out of a door when hooman opens it to get groceries out of the car Why is hooman in my poop box Alternatives for poop box
Final score:
5points
#46
How to escape house How to do most damage to dad's legs How to open doors How to find cat treats How to open cat treats bag How to hide evidence of eating ice cream How to open closet door What shoes do I sit on How to steal dog's food How to stop dog steal my food What does fuzzy mean How to poop in neighbor's yard correctly What does 'Good job pooping in neighbor's plants' mean from human What does hooman mean by that lady is trying to catnap me Where to best take nap How to eat hair without hooman noticing How to become paper shredder What does catnip smell like How do i open cabinet How do i spray catnip uroswanvjervne iemvqujnerr imhighoncatnip fjnadorbg cuddlefloorcuddlefloorcuddlefloor How to steal ice cream from human How to distract human and get milk
Final score:
5points
#49
How to: Dominate the world, kill all creaturez and hoomanz, have endless yummy treatz and make professional petting robots
Final score:
4points
#50
if i had a cat: qkfbdofof;;jhgg boxez mys mys how 2 rule ovr humns how 2 maill dogs 2 de moon how 2 sstop tyny humn frm touchng mii how 2 gt owt of de pownd our cat would not be a very good speller LOL
Final score:
4points
#51
wut privacy mean new rug for hooman to clean my vomit boi cats how to talk 2 hooman how to ask for food in hooman catnip catnip catnip catnip organic catnip gourmet more catnip CATNIP
Final score:
4points
#52
how to kil hooman y do baby chase me y hooman yel wen i puke on floor how 2 anoy hooman how 2 get in hooman room
Final score:
4points
#53
Google search History: Are cats really fluid If i fits I sits how to grow your own cat nip how to lay on hoomans face without smothering them why do hoomans like water so much what does neuter mean? grumpy cat
Final score:
4points
#54
why hoomans no like songs of my people wet food stores nearby how to annoy dog how to get drunk on catnip jkahnlukjantkjnsmd
Final score:
4points
#55
How to get more treats. How to meow louder. How to get out the door. How to try to trick my human into giving me wet food.
Final score:
4points
#56
Catnip catnip catnip catnip catnip catnip Mouse Mouse Mouse Mouse Mouse catnip
Final score:
4points
D e p r e s s e d (Submission author) 4 years ago
I swear my cat just can't get enough with the catnip! I give it to him once a week soon as he gets it he bounces off the walls
#57
how to ecsap from cta bed install htea vent treats trtesa wheer is catnip catlip plant vocal exercise fro cat mweo
Final score:
4points
#58
letmeout: the biography. amozon password treats how to get treats wheredowegointhemetelmonsters
Final score:
4points
#60
fghjmfdsasdfgnm,mnnbvcxsdfghnm how to make hooman slave opposable thumbs,who needs them how to suffcate hooman sadfghjkloi876543ewdsfghjuki8765trdgfhj yummy cat treats
Final score:
3points
#61
i dont have a cat but if i did: how to take over the world how to be da bigest pest to da hoomans result:run around house,at top speed, on a trail of plastic bags, with your kittens running behind you meowing to play with your tail
Final score:
3points
#62
How to scratch my hooman while he is in school and not get yelled @?????????????
Final score:
3points
#63
sdtkyyyrdfky,m how to trick the dog 101 ways to kill a mouse 8ubjkwk ways to keep your hooman awake at 3 in the morning whats the best thing to knock of the table 56edcikfvj5evbrntk
Final score:
3points
#64
-h0w 2 get hooman to make meh gurrmet meels -h8w tooo do crookshanks from hairy purrter makeupp -wy do my child humman call me kitty kitty meow meow -huw to kach redd dott w/tips -r cats betr than dogs? -meow -famos kittys in hisstury
Final score:
3points
#66
Cat's search history: How To Serve Dog Me looking at screen, puzzled, then horrified...
Final score:
3points
Deniz Vitvitskiji 4 years ago
Probably because some kids like to downvote other peoples submissions so theirs will be higher
Load More Replies... Susan Stead (Submission author) 4 years ago (edited)
Allow me to clarify the joke: Twilight Zone--How to Serve Man. I was hoping to get a comment from a fellow nerd saying, "It's a cookbook! It's a cookbook!" But no...
#67
Wetfoodz sale Toilet wahetr wedfood pspspsps sound ten hourz amazon.com//temptationssalmoncattreats how to getz outsides cat treets fancy yumy cat treetz
Final score:
3points
#68
Why my tail floof? How to rid of dog How to kill dog 1000 ways to poach a dog Why dog snoot other dogs bum Why dog has big snoot Dog trap How to mail dog How to be dog
Final score:
3points
#69
I have two cats, so the *'s will be for one, ~'s for the other. *How to catch burd *Why cant catch burd *why no treats *burrds *TUNA *why burd *how burd *where tuna *how treats ~where to hide ~sneky ~treatssss ~where can hide ~why brother like burd ~TREatss
Final score:
3points
#70
101 ways to serve meeses how to grow lush cat nip The Kats Meow (kitty porn website) best ways to annoy your hooman when they be busy hooman behavior explained fastest way to sharpen your claws The Kats Meow quickest way to piss of da doggie kitty yoga to help get in weird sleeping positions Meowing tips and tricks to be as loud and obnoxious as possible at 3:30 in the morning The Kats Meow What makes yarn so enticing, is it the color or the texture enhance your barfing experience The Kats Meow
Final score:
3points
#72
places that serve mouse cute pictures of humans why does my butt taste good dating websites for cats
Final score:
3points
#74
Thumbs Why won’t my human let me sit on their keyboard Best place to satisfy the itch Why does dry food exist How to get rid of dog without humans knowing Why do my humans yell at me when I eat the plants
Final score:
3points
#75
Cat-hooman pocket dictionary 1000 ways to confuse hoomans The purrrfect murder: a cats story
Final score:
3points
#76
Why human says im a bumblebee How to look like a bumblebee How to be cute like a bumblebee How many food i get for being a bumblebee What is a bumblebee
Final score:
3points
I travel. I seek the Parmesan. 4 years ago
Hot cats in my area https://1800big.bad.dealers.com/catnip-organic/search?-query.sdk.565t.48768y5rh https://cato.com//get-the-treats-you-need.fddf/fsaf-dfaf/adf2 wheres my ballz?
#78
dfodvijoncmsakmck fsdfokoqos[dvodvio kill dog sell dog kill human no get pets from humaan hfgvim weird red dot that oddly attracts me hiw to catch dot how to murder the dot
Final score:
3points
#79
How to hunt and eat humans?
Final score:
2points
#80
To bite, or not to bite? cans I really fits? is Chester dog yummy? what is movie "Don't f***k with cats" about? Netflix Is there even Cats in "Don't f***k with cats"? dumb bird videos Best Art gallery near me (Yes he would totally use question marks in google searches. and chester is my dog if you are wondering)
Final score:
2points
#82
zaesxrdctfvuygibonlmnjlbjmvnhfgcdrfex3crt45vyb6u7ino809p-009n87654@#$%^&*(0iouhgfdgwcrdvbnkyukghfghfrxtecyrv6utgjyhkujngfcdtnex45yrf6utgyhujminhubgyvfcd Fish
Final score:
1point
#83
whyihavnospace whydahumanssoweerd qawzsxdrtfvgbhuijnkm howtokilladoggo
Final score:
1point
#84
y do hooman kiid chase me wif stic do hooman take pill to? gorge mowington y me nam is boobo ber how to scratch hooman and get awae qwerrtyufvdfnfvfc asdfghjkldrvhkjf
Final score:
1point
#86
Howtostopyorhoonansdaughtarsfromannoyangu Howtostealtunas HowtoscratchhoomAnansintheperrrfectpLace Hwotoannoyshooman Hewstogethoomantonotsignorsu
Final score:
1point
#87
How to strangle a human World domination for cats How to catch the red dot how do I rip open the food bag How to hide poop
Final score:
1point
#88
Why dus hooman pet meh? How to scere smol humn? how kil dog? How to perfom skrach and run? Purina stocks why is compooter so comfu7? Catnip delers in floriduh how to hid3 catnip smel frum hoomin?
Final score:
1point
#89
messed up i meant: howetwo spek englashfor morfod Cutemale puursians nearmeh Mail purrsians nearsme catfod 100%of freecatsfood frecantood toyesfroktty
Final score:
1point
#90
Why do hoomans close doors How make hooman stop petting other kittens
Final score:
1point
#92
Why are my hoomans trying to poison me with evil cat food? How to get ride of foster fur brother? What is the best time to wake hooman up? Where can I buy popcorn?
Final score:
1point
#93
Best catnip to buy nearby How to trick human so you can scratch her
Final score:
1point
#94
where to buy mice how to kill vacuum cleaner why don't humans lick themselves why do humans only sleep at night how to get attention how to make humans keep stroking you
Final score:
1point
#96
how make hooman annoyed jscj8667saf catnip.fish how find mouze
Final score:
1point
#97
egfer how to wake hooman up at 3 am in the annoyingest way possible jdbhksfd bvfsn vrskth42ubt 4th853r njrbsgvkbr how to catch red dot vndngvjrks the dissapaerence of the red dot story me catch birb hooman does not like jdfbjkDBSJGrSJFK hooman eats birb for dinner hooman logic how to walk across the keyboard like a pro rgvbwjabgrvjuBSGUJVr;jsBGuw4u75t714gtu;vm8tp9 4w
Final score:
1point
#98
How to get the hooman to install a catflap so i can annoy her constantly How to phase through a door
Final score:
1point
#99
Asmr can opener sounds to relax to House fly footage to keep your reflexes sharp How wet food is really made Hot lady lions in the wild xxx
Final score:
1point
#100
sartkijop#] fdiunchu9btttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt tttttttttttttt how to catch red dot r5jhigioreosa54 laser pointer aantomi of hoomen jihw29oera bstjhhssjg tyrtryuy5uuuuuuuuuuu chezburjer 5yhjjk'
Final score:
1point
Bacony Cakes (Submission author) 4 years ago (edited)
crap i forgot "let me through the door" and "where hoomen eyes locate"
#101
How to annoy hoomans as much as possible, how to kill Hooman, cute human pictures, best places to nap, jnkcerifbefjivbiefhfivjihe&rheijehrighierhgigerbjkfebjrgi,
Final score:
1point
#106
You mean MY search history? I'm the hoMEOWner. best easy tips for driving (for cats) best weapons of destruction 2020 (opposable thumbs not needed) how to convince your human's dog to serve you fastest ways to take over the world how to get treats from a high shelf
Final score:
1point
#107
oh mfelceexknlx dwcdwoh wbdouqsisjldwkdwjecvxejvxjwvxk Efljfehfeodwkzwnlzwnl meow
Final score:
1point
#108
how to make meow treats how to make lazer beam how to catch red dot how to kill humen how to take over the world with lazer bem how to act like humen how to get female kat to wike me youtube vids for kats how to get more fwod fwrom humen
Final score:
1point
#109
i don't have a cat so i'm gunna try why dog like chase me? how to get dog in truouble? why hooman yell when find turd in bed. why never blame dog for turds.
Final score:
1point
#110
How to get your coat to really shine Who's the prettiest kitty How to get your hooman to stop touching and just wook at me How to play with a hooman Why do hoomans think I mean when I give eye kisses?
Final score:
1point
#111
How to grow thumbs Can humans feel pain Why do the humans keep stealing my poop Why are carpets nice to sit on Catnip Dealers near me
Final score:
1point
#112
How do I geet my moom to get rid of my baes kittens how to find food in the bush how to get insiedddddd
Final score:
1point
#113
Train my hooman Why sleeping on a keyboard so good How decide I want in or out Mausamisu recipe Best way to kill that dog How be more fluffy
Final score:
1point
#114
best cat weed (catnip) Wet food How do i makes the hooman listens? Cat dentists My four cats bud, jr, ruby and lily's search history
Final score:
1point
#115
Hitman 4 dog nextdr R invisblty cloks rl How get human to lv me alon hw to git red dot blk mrket 4 catnp
Final score:
1point
#116
Piswhvpwhdcpiwhdcpiwhdvpihwdpvihwpdjvhlwkdhfpakdhvpnasvpkandpvknwpdkvhapjdhvpwkhdpviharpkvh Hooman has brought a smal fluf how do I kil it weiugqohevboquegouqgeougeougoqugfoqjgogjboejboqjefboqjbebljqbfljbbljfblqjefgljqebf Hooman hid fud Bcjbfvojbwvojnhvjwnsslv Dbfoejbvosjbdvosjbdvosjbdovjbsdobjbsobvsojfvbosjbdgojsbd How kil bird ipfehpwidhfpiwehfpwkhefpkhwpfkhepwkdhf Abcsoahbdcoajbdcojbaslfjboajbfohwbrgowjbrgowjrbflajrbf
Final score:
1point
#117
-how to shut up? -what does no mean? -how to make humans think I’m nice but then kill them? -is it ok to have favourites? -hduejwoxhenwkwiwoqoqjwjd
Final score:
1point
#119
Cat One: Why doesn't Cat Two eat treats Why can't I eat the treats Cat Two won't eat Best types of cat food. How to get free cans of Fancy Feast. Cat Two: adfsdtrfdfhjjd yfdudjdfljfoheofhdio suduagdcydu dgudgusdgf dyyhffjdytssjwii
Final score:
1point
#120
Meow Meowmeow Meowmeowmeow Meowmeowmeowmeowmeow Boopboopboop Jkdkdmfjjvjfkvk SnootSNOOT Meepmeepmeep Howmskaks Howw tooo discable hooman vacumm How too usey mathes Howw tooooo mak ginormus messez
Final score:
1point
#121
Box Box Box amazon howtogrowthumbz alsjhdlkfjhasdsk temptations howtoforcehoomantogetwetfood kittykastle whyinolikewater
Final score:
1point
#122
Not my cat but my friend's :P how to get run over by car how to whine for food then reject it asdf4el[9 how not scare great dane how to jumpscare kookumbur where is the snaks hiding
Final score:
1point
#123
How to take over the world How to get rid of a fish without getting in trouble Where to find catnip How to get the FBI of your tail
Final score:
1point
#125
what is blep how to git mere box catnip bad hadit? why slave be pet me hoew to geet untigle froom stbring blaw
Final score:
1point
#126
How to take overz world Catnip drug deeler How to capture evilz red dot Craigslist How to sell dog on Craigslist How to wake hooman at 4 am Y hooman not like birb present Y hooman yell when i bringz live prey How to blackmail hooman into give me treats How to get petz What is “Chonky” https//Amazon.com/boiCatz -human-: how to stop my cat from searching things on Google. -cat-: why hooman try to password protec googel ...I wish I had a cat
Final score:
1point
#127
how to kill the red dot how to get rid of canine neighbours top cat apartments in los angeles tasty mice recipes catbumble.com/profile/lillyanne-catnip/ fanfiction.net/tom-and-jerry how to get stupid alley cats away from your girl how to change name from jack to loki
Final score:
1point
#128
how come I jumped off the roof and I am still here?
Final score:
1point
#129
How to scratch hooman harder How to make my hooman gimme goode food Why am i trapped in big kitty litter thingy
Final score:
1point
#131
This is not my cat but my friends cat. 1. Most amazing catnip ever 2. Why dont my hoomans pets me enogh 3. why does my hoomans say if i fits i sits
Final score:
1point
#132
MEEEEEEEEEW Why is there fluffy cold stuff falling from the sky Where did my owner go I’m getting a bit old What is that?
Final score:
0points
#133
how say sorry to hooman how steal treat how scratch everything
Final score:
0points
#134
Egyptian cat worship Tips for sharpening nails Best spots to bite human when done with rubs What’s behind that closed door? Bottle cap hockey Best hours to sing song of my people How to mess with dog
Final score:
0points
#135
Well, I don’t have a cat, but I can be my doggy’s Jazzy How to make sister want play How to get all the treats How to brake the side of my kennel How to get all the good girls How to make mommy less made when I knock over the garbage can Tillie How to get rid of the new dog without the humans knowing How to be less short How to get that one really aggravating squirrel Can I eat this Why doesn’t the gloogle know what the this is How to get all the pets
Final score:
0points
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What do you think ?
Robert Catte (It, It's) 4 years ago
Search number 1: stuff that comes in cardboard boxes 2: cardboard boxes near me 3: catnip 4: cardboard box 5: meeeeeeeeeow 6: how to get scritches 7: purrrrrrr 8: Food 9: how to get rid of dog 10: alfj oejilseo8023&#%SJLFEIL[] d/[]9}kks 11: get catnip 12: catch red dot
Robert Catte (It, It's) 4 years ago
Search number 1: stuff that comes in cardboard boxes 2: cardboard boxes near me 3: catnip 4: cardboard box 5: meeeeeeeeeow 6: how to get scritches 7: purrrrrrr 8: Food 9: how to get rid of dog 10: alfj oejilseo8023&#%SJLFEIL[] d/[]9}kks 11: get catnip 12: catch red dot
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