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Remember our promise to deliver an article dedicated to each possible topic of puns? Well, we are continuing our quest, and while we should have done this one way earlier, let us fix this horrible blunder now by presenting you with our list of the best, the most adorable, and funniest Harry Potter jokes and puns!
Most of these Harry Potter memes, funny yet cute, are there just to make you snicker in remembrance of the events in the books or the characters you might’ve forgotten; you might have a hard time incorporating them into your everyday chats. But if you do figure out a way to sneak them in, then we must congratulate you for being the most determined Potterhead there ever was!
Of course, some of these wizard puns and Harry Potter memes, clean and funny, are a bit more universal, and you can use them even in a professional environment without anyone really noticing it. Except for you, of course, quietly giggling at your own ingenuity, that is. Every day is a good day with a Harry Potter pun in it!
Funny Harry Potter Memes & Harry Potter Puns for Witches & Wizards
To cater to the hilarious needs of diverse Potterheads, we have collected puns for all. From Harry Potter jokes for kids to the funniest Harry Potter memes, we are here to amuse Potterheads of all ages.
So, without any more talks, why don’t you scroll below and check out the hilarious memes, Harry Potter and his Wizarding World related, that we’ve found? There’s probably no need to tell you that they are just a smidgen down below because they are usually there. Where else would they be, am I right?
Once you are there, though, don’t forget to give these silly and funny Harry Potter jokes your vote and share this article with anyone who’s into the Wizarding World - the best world of them all!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook?
Because he has followers, not friends.
RELATED:
#2
Poor Potter cannot tell the difference between his potion’s pot and his best friend because they are both cauldron!
Nora Beauchamp 3 years ago
I still don't get it and it's been- ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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Oliviaishungry (and bored) 3 years ago
Cauld as in called and then ron is well… Ron Weasley
Load More Replies... #3
What type of shoes does Voldemort wear? Horcrocs!
Laura Mende (Human) 3 years ago
If the Dark Lord wore crocs, not even Bellatrix would have spend one minute with him...
#4
I’m trying to write a book about Platform 9 and 3/4. But I keep hitting a wall.
#5
I thought my roommate was joking when he said Gary Oldman was in the Harry Potter movies. He was dead Sirius.
#6
Harry Potter movies should be rated R for the huge amount of cursing.
Star the Furry Therian! 2 years ago
*agressive Hermione-esque tutting* hehehehhe
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gilded panda 2 years ago
wasnt allowed to watch them till i was a teen because of that...jk i actually said b**** when i was 2
#8
Why doesn’t Snape teach herbology? Because his lily died.
In too many fandoms 3 years ago (edited)
Dark indeed… (sorry I just LOVE the word indeed.)
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#9
Why is Mad-Eye such a bad professor?
Because he can’t control his pupils.
Skyla King 2 years ago
He can control them, but they move so fast that it doesn’t look like it.
#10
Why do Azakaban inmates have fresh breath?
Because of de-mentoes.
Charlotte Ralstin 2 years ago
Wait… If they use De-mentors wouldn’t they just be having a dementors kiss which kills them!?
#11
If a wizard gets robbed by a Muggle, has he been Muggled?
#12
Where would Bellatrix play if she played the saxophone? Jazzkaban.
Charlotte Ralstin 2 years ago
🎶🎶-awful sax playing coming from Bellatrix’s cell-🎶🎶 next door cellmate says “ EY! Stop that playing it will get us all killed by death eaters! You know what.. keep playing”
Star the Furry Therian! 2 years ago
i almost laughed out loud NOOOOOOOOOO HAHAHAHHAH
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Pandamonium Pandas Pandie 1 year ago (edited)
replace the two zz's with two ss's, and remove the j and that changes the whole thing...
Emma Laverdure 2 years ago
Bellatrix playing the awfully sax music then dementors start falling from the sky it's so bad
#13
What did the comedian say to Harry Potter? Why so Sirius?
#14
What would you call The Boy Who Lived if he got a beard? Hairy Potter.
Pandamonium Pandas Pandie 1 year ago
I always thought that it was weird that nobody else noticed this...
Nicole Tomme 3 years ago
Go to Dahlonega, GA. There is a ceramics studio there and the owner has a huge beard and goes by "Hairy Potter." Someone even made a comic about him that is hung on the wall just inside the shop door.
#15
Why doesn’t Voldemort have glasses? Nobody nose.
Kat Anderson 3 years ago
it must be hard to wear them if he needs them because he is like a snake.
imjustexisting 2 years ago
put some supergIue on his face, then the gasses, shoId be fine
Load More Replies... Charlotte Ralstin 2 years ago
Just picturing He-Should-Not-Be-Named killing whoever made this pun.
#16
What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord? A Volt-demort.
#17
"Harry, your godfather is dead.” “Are you serious?!?” “Yep. Dead Sirius.”
Charlotte Ralstin 2 years ago
Dude stop posting puns about the fun godfather that’s now dead 😭😭😭
#18
How does Voldemort enter a room?
He slithers in.
Star the Furry Therian! 2 years ago
Just... go. there's the Gryffin-door. and don't go Huffle-puffing. You're only trying to Raven-claw your way to the top of the puns!
Load More Replies... Long Minh Thiên 1 year ago
Knock Knock - Who's there? - SLytherin - Slytherin who? - May I slither in?
#19
On Monday I cannot function without my Espresso patronum.
Nicole Tomme 3 years ago
Some call it expresso patronum and accidentally teleport their animal to platform 9 3/4.
#20
What do you call a postman that can speak to packages? A parcel tongue.
Long Minh Thiên 1 year ago
I'll never open the door to a guy wearing a blue suit with a parcel, even if it's something special
#21
How does the head of Gryffindor see when swimming? She uses McGonagoggles.
#22
What do you call multiple potions teachers? Several Snapes!
#23
Why did Barty Crouch stop drinking Butterbeer? It made him Moody.
#24
Why was Voldemort trying to listen to the Order of Phoenix meetings?
He was nosy!
In too many fandoms 3 years ago
Yea, we even have a song! 🎶 It’s the nosy voldy, he’s weird and moldy, la la la la laaaaaa 🎶
Load More Replies... Emma Laverdure 2 years ago
You know what we have that Voldemort doesn't, no it's not the power of friendship, we have NOSES!
Charlotte Ralstin 2 years ago
You better watch out for a wand coming your way, whoever wrote that pun.
#25
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light-hearted. The fifth one was dead Sirius.
Long Minh Thiên 1 year ago
Yep, that's true, especially when Harry's godfather tumbled over the vail
ASmallGhoul 2 years ago
PLEASE STOP POSTING PUNS ABOUT SIRIUS DYING HE DOESN'T DESERVE THAT! 😭
#26
How do Hogwarts students get down a hill? Walking… J.K. Rowling.
#27
What’s the biggest problem in Hogwarts School?
Spelling errors.
#29
How much does it cost to watch Harry play his favorite sport? A quid each.
#30
What do you call a Slytherin in winter?
A Shiver-in.
#31
What’s the difference between a comma and Crookshanks?
Crookshanks has claws at the end of his paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
#32
Slytherins are big on Snapechat.
#33
What’s a dementors theme song? “You take my breath away.”
Charlotte Ralstin 2 years ago
“You take my breath away, I’m gonna kill you one day, it’s so fun to suck the life and soul out of prisoners 🎶🎶
#34
Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president? Because they didn’t want to elect Ron.
#36
How do Malfoys enter a building? They Slytherin.
#39
Why do you never see dementors in Starbucks? They can’t stand espresso patronum!
Artsy Bookworm 3 years ago
Looks like Starbucks stands to make a bit of money if they come up with the new Espresso Patronum
#40
What do you call two wizards who share a dorm? Broom-mates.
#41
Why did Harry Potter get stopped for speeding?
Because he didn’t expect-no-patrol man.
#42
Which Harry Potter book is the darkest?
Order of the Phoenix because that’s when it gets dead Sirius.
ASmallGhoul 2 years ago
Stop disrespecting Sirius, you don't need to make his death worse than it already is(was?)!
#43
What is the difference between a wizard and a spelling bee contestant? One conjures spells and the other spells conjure.
#44
How does Harry Potter end an argument? He slams the Gryffindor!
#46
Which Hogwarts professor makes the best wine? Severus Grape.
#48
The way she speaks and looks at people, there is something myst-sirius about her.
#49
Why was Harry Potter in trouble at school? Because he made fun of someone on Snape Chat.
Star the Furry Therian! 2 years ago
Taking photos of his... snake... (god help me i'm an asexual and i still had to)
Load More Replies... #50
Why did Harry Potter get detention? Because he was cursing in class.
#51
What cereal do they serve at Hogwarts?
Hufflepuffs.
#52
Why did Snape throw away so many potions?
They were past their hex-piration date!
#54
Why was Sirius banned from Hogwarts? For black magic.
#55
Why was everyone avoiding Hermione? She was Grangerous.
#56
What do you call the common cold when Ron Weasley gets it?
A ginger ail.
#57
What did Percy say when he saw the dirty swimming pool? Penelope, Clearwater!
#61
Why couldn’t Harry find Hermione? He was looking in the Ron places.
ACatInPandasClothing 3 years ago
especially after that one part in the end of bk7/movie 8
Load More Replies... #62
How does the headmaster get into Hogwarts? Through a Dumble-door!
#63
Which Hogwarts teacher gets the blame? Professor Snape-Goat.
#66
You have to admit, he’s looking a little Hagrid.
#68
Growing up in Voldemort’s family was a Gaunting task.
Zoe Kinseher 3 years ago
No it wasn't they left out a lot of voldermorts past in the movie
Load More Replies... #69
There are Severus factors you need to consider when fighting Voldemort.
#71
Why is Fred not going into the Chamber of Secrets? He's a-Fred!
#72
What do Hogwarts students give their dogs to change their coat colour? Collie-juice potion.
#73
I kept knocking at your dumble-door, but you did not answer.
#74
From what all I know about you, all I can say is that you are a riddikulus person.
#75
You don’t find Harry Potter funny? There is something Ron with you!
#76
Why was Ron shown the Dumbledore? He kept making terrible Potterpuns.
#81
Which Hogwarts student would help you learn how to play Quidditch? I think Oliver Wood.
Ryn Funkhouser 3 years ago
I was gonna be like "duh" what's punny about this, but then I realised that there actually was a joke
#83
Do you like Harry Potter? Because I a-Dumbledore you!
#87
How do Hogwarts students go on field trips? They take the Albus!
#88
Harry Otter.
#89
What do you call someone who is half transfigured into a cat? Purr-people.
#90
You can go there alone but make sure that there is no Granger.
#91
Spells come in all Snapes and sizes.
#92
What’s Harry Potter’s motto? Neville, give up!
#93
What do you call the entrance to a magical gym? A dumbbell door.
#94
You are siriusly ridiculous if you do not like Harry Potter.
#95
It is high time that you should start taking magic severus-ly.
#96
Where can you find Dumbledore’s Army? Up his sleeve-y!
#100
Owl ask the questions in this potions class.
#104
All I really wand to do is go to Hogwarts.
#110
You might have a Helena of a time being a Ravenclaw.
#113
Did you hear that were going to make an entire book about Harry Potter’s godfather?
They ended up axing it, they thought it would be too Sirius!
#115
What is bigfoot’s favorite book? Hairy Potter.
#118
When I went to her place, she made a potter tea.
#119
It looked okay from outside but it was a ganger-ous place.
#120
Why did Luna get Hagrid's signature? She is a giant fan.
#121
I chant get enough of Harry Potter.
Star the Furry Therian! 2 years ago
The book is just so charm-ing. (sorry but the above joke was bad so i made up for it)
#124
Don’t just Sprout out the answer in divination.
#125
You’re in for a Severus talking to if you haven’t read Harry Potter.
#126
What type of music does Hagrid like? Hinky-punk.
#131
You must remain quietus while I am speaking.
#137
If you want to hear what is being said, stay quietus.
Gryffindor394 1 year ago
why are so many references incorrect??? Its annoying!
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A Punny Potterverse
We bet that this punny compilation was just what your Potterhead souls needed at this moment. We hope this list of magical humor made you think back about your favorite scenes and characters from the books and movies and reminisce about those times. Have you made this your unofficial Wizarding World joke guide yet? Let us know in the comments!
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