Who is a bigger threat to a woman alone in the woods? A man or a bear? That 2024 viral social media debate revealed a lot. And it wasn't pretty. In the original TikTok video, 7 out of 8 women interviewed said they'd choose the bear. Many others followed suit with their own posts, painting a rather grim picture of how they feel around men.
Maybe it's not too surprising, given that there are around 40 bear attacks on humans annually. Worldwide. And not all are fatal. That's a stark comparison to U.N. statistics, which reveal that globally, around 51,100 women and girls died at the hands of their intimate partners or other family members. In 2023 alone.
Let's not beat around the bush... Many women are scared of men. And they have their reasons. There are guys that understand and act accordingly. Then there are those who are completely oblivious. Or just don't care. Someone recently asked, "What's something a man did that instantly made you feel unsafe, even if it wasn't aggressive?" And women did not hold back. Some stories are heartbreaking, some are eye-opening. Some are truly terrifying.
Bored Panda has put together a list of the top answers. And after scrolling through them, you might agree that there is indeed a lot to learn and correct. To drive the message home, we've included some sobering stats about what women are facing on a daily basis. You'll find that between the images.
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I was a cashier at a fast food place when I was 18 and I took this guy’s order, he asked me what time I got off. I said “oh, um later tonight” it was like 4pm. instant red flags. He proceeded to sit in the lobby, within eye view, and waited for hrs. It turned dark and he was still there, still glancing every so often. It was getting closer to my clock out time and I was petrified, he hadn’t done anything, but I was scared to walk out to my car. I hid in the office and the old grill cook finally went to the lobby and told him off, that I’d left through the back door. Apparently he came back the next day looking for me, I had the day off, the grill cook told him I’d quit because he scared me. He never came back after that.
The grill cook Demarcus was a real one. I hope he’s living a good life.
What a weirdo, we had it happen to a young waitress once. Me and my bf drove her home. Scared me too, but luckily my bf at that time was huge 300kgs and tall. (Total kitten but he looked scary).
I spent my time in the restaurant and bar industry. I'd been working this one place and the waitresses and cocktailers always asked me to walk them to their car. I found out it was one of the managers that was making them uncomfortable. He got fired for sexual harassment and now I understand why he hated me. He's a white guy so he failed up and was running his own bar in a couple years. I hate that little redheaded sh!t.
I was a cocktail waitress throughout college and there are definitely some scary people out there.
When I was a cashier I had a customer pass me a note saying he loved me etc. it was a BIG Tesco superstore so freaked me out. Not nice
This one doesn't fit. How could he Not know that he would frighten her by obviously stalking her?
Ĥe didn't think he was stalking her. He felt entitled to her time and attention. (Cause smiling at customers, part of their JOB, means they want you. Exasperated eyeroll here.)
Load More Replies...1 in 3 women around the world have experienced violence at least once in their lives. 736 MILLION WOMEN! That's a rather scary statistic, brought to us by the U.N. Women Data Hub.
And if that stat didn't hit home hard enough, in 2022, the World Bank revealed that an estimated 245 million experienced intimate partner violence (IPV) in the last 12 months alone. That's 10% of all women, ages 15 and above. Remember that the figure doesn't include violence carried out by non-partners. And that many cases of IPV go unreported.
"The true figures are likely to be even larger because of the difficulties women face in being open about experiences of violence," explains the World Bank. "Evidence shows that violence from an intimate partner can often go unrecorded, due to social stigma and women not wanting to make things worse for themselves."
Speak to me in an Asian language (usually Japanese, sometimes Chinese) trying to impress me. That tells me right away that he sees me as a stereotype based on my complexion rather than as a person.
Whenever that happens I always answer in fluent French, and then act surprised when he doesn't understand "white language.".
Heh, I have a good story here. I am a linguist and general language magpie. I speak three languages to native level and another four with varying degrees of fluency. My Japanese is merely conversational. I love Japan and even lived there for a while. My husband is originally from the Philippines and whenever we have been in Japan together, everyone always speaks to him thinking that he is from Okinawa (he does have an Okinawan face, as they all tell me!). It's such fun for me, the pale little white lassie, to answer in Japanese while he shrugs his shoulders because he doesn't understand a word! :D Never assume that someone knows a language purely based on how they look!
That’s so cool Cerina, honestly 😊 I’m so jealous of people who can speak another language. Languages are so cool. I have a basic grasp on a few (and I can get by in Russian ordering food and getting a hotel etc, I’ve done it before in northern Ukraine where almost nobody speaks English haha) but I hope someday to be fluent! What languages do you speak?
Load More Replies...working with people and talking in their native tongue because you know them is different from just walking up to a woman and start talking Japanese because you assume she has to be from that country...
Load More Replies...I recently watched "She Said." If you haven't heard of it, it's a movie about the two New York Times reporters who broke the Harvey Weinstein story and opened the floodgates for women around the world to join the #MeToo movement. It's a gripping, eye-opening film that highlights how women suffer in silence, often too afraid to speak up against the men who do them harm.
For decades, Weinstein took advantage of vulnerable actresses and other women he worked with. His despicable acts went under the radar, as he paid his survivors to keep quiet, while some of those around him helped cover his tracks. But the movie also shines a light on the bravery and courage of women in the face of what can only be described as pure evil.
Went on a few dates with this guy… following week he asked if we could go out to dinner and I was like oh man I’m sorry, I have plans with girls from work that night but maybe the next night we could do something?
I never said who specifically I was going with and he didn’t know any of my coworkers outside of like seeing them twice when he picked me up from work for two dates. I never said where we were going.
I’m mid conversation with my friends at dinner and one of them is like “uhh… did you know your friend was coming?” I’m like what friend? And I look up and the guy is walking towards our table and sits down like he was invited.
All conversation just stopped and we all stared at him. I still have no idea how he knew where I was. I didn’t have a car at the time so it’s not like he spotted my car and knew I was there.
After an incredibly long awkward silence I was like so… I told you I’m not free tonight.
He was like if you’re going to be like that don’t bother talking to me anymore. So I didn’t.
I've seen this one before and it is still creepy AF! Halving been stalked before, THAT is stalker sh!t.
Reading all of those stories makes me sick. Being a man you never experience anything like that. While at university there was a short cut to the bus stop through the woods and often my female friends walked with me, even to the point of waiting for me to join them. I always thought they were just being nice or wanted to talk about classes. Now I am thinking they wanted me for protection (!) WTF There was this one girl who always put her hand round mine when we walked, I did not mind. She was not my type at all so it was just friendly but now after reading all this WTF. I understand that all of this innocent until proven guilty is necessary but I wish I was there for some of the girl who wrote those stories. Girls don’t give up on all men because of those creeps.
You may have stopped something like that from happening, by just being a good friend
Load More Replies...That's usually where the "nice guy who never gets a chance" makes a remark about her appearance.
I went out with a guy on a Friday night - it was nice for a 1st date. I mentioned that I was busy the following night at someone's birthday celebration. Stupidly I mentioned where it would be. It was a public place, we just had a private room. When I get there I see him at the bar. Thankfully he didn't try and crash the party, but it felt weird to me. I didn't go out with him again.
"He was like if you’re going to be like that don’t bother talking to me anymore." - Oh no, what a tragedy. /S
The disgraced film producer and Miramax co-founder was sentenced to 23 years in prison in 2020. But New York's highest court last year overturned his conviction and sentence. It was a move that left #MeToo activists shocked and angry.
"The court found that the original trial judge allowed prejudicial testimony," reported the Guardian. "That judge's term expired in 2022, and he is no longer on the bench."
73-year-old Weinstein is currently being retried in a Manhattan criminal court. And this time, the jury is majority female...
Had a dude really snidely ask why I was taking my purse with me to the restroom so, matching his energy, I whole chestedly announced that I needed to change my tampon and didn't feel like I needed his permission to be discreet about it.
The look he gave me you would have thought I s**t on the table. Then he got really red and quietly told me to stop making a scene and we'd talk about it after dinner.
I dropped a twenty on the table, grabbed my jacket and booked it. I grew up with an a*****e mother, I know what that kind of phrase really means. Maybe he would have stopped at just words but I was not risking it for a first date. .
Never ever leave your phone or your drink behind when you hit the bathroom. I've seen how fast a creep can go to work.
I've sadly learnt how fast a creep can move when merely taking my turn at the pool table.
Load More Replies...I get a guy being worried a woman taking her purse means he’s about to get ditched, but as a woman I don’t trust someone to keep an eye on my things. Been with my hubs 14 years, and I love him dearly but that man will walk away from a cart with my purse and phone in it instead of just taking the d**n cart with him, or pushing it over to me. I no longer take a purse when shopping with him, and my phone stays glued. I’d be 10 feet away with my back to him grabbing something, and he’d just up and wander away to another aisle, cart left abandoned. 🙄
OP might not be an English speaker. At least it sounds like the things I say when my brain crosses some wires and translates a phrase directly from my native German. :D
Load More Replies...Girl - YES!!!!!!!!! That was the perfect way to handle that a****t
I think if he was a bit anxious, like someone else said, he might have just been thinking she was going to leave. My bf is very anxious, and I’m always surprised how he sees some things, or finds the anxiety where I would never see it.
Load More Replies...Well done, OP. In general it's a good 'test', so to speak, to mention periods and tampons (when appropriate - do I need to add that?). If they're just uncomfortable, check whether they've been brought up by clueless parents or if they indeed see it as something 'unclean' (never mind your upbringing - if a guy wants to be mature enough to f**k you, he needs to be mature enough to accept your body's functions).
So right!! When they tell/show you who they are, BELIEVE it the FIRST time. Good for you
I had a doctor very cleverly, sneakily, and casually rub my foot on his p***s. He kept the conversation going the entire time, with as much eye contact as physically possible. He knew exactly what he was doing but was trying to keep talking as if it wasn't happening. My mom was in the room, thankfully. I used the position to my advantage and essentially slowly kicked him in the d**k 🤌 (found out later on he's no longer practicing, so I can only hope no other woman got actually assaulted).
Same. Actually my current doctor is male due to a shortage of women doctors in my area, and he’s actually amazing and fantastic, but he also grew up in a family of all girls and has 3 daughters and a wife so when I talk to him it’s like talking to a trusted uncle or something, he knows so much about female health issues. Female doctors and male doctors like him are the only ones I’m comfortable trusting.
Load More Replies...We really need to do a better job of raising our daughters to STOP BEING NICE. Stop "quietly and gently" saying/doing something in response to a creep. We need our daughters to YELL "Stop touching me!" or "Get away from me!" or "Leave me alone!" or whatever needs to be said/done in that instance. Instead we've raised girls to "get along" and "be nice" and "keep the peace" and "don't make waves". That needs to end.
My tattoo artist did that. I was getting a tattoo on the top of my forearm and he didn't think I'd notice. Tattoo got finished by another artist. He got fired by his wife whom was also his boss (she owns the shop) she also divorced him cause she learned it happened a few times before and after me. He was a cheater too so 🤷♀️ 🤷♀️
I had my baby's doctor touch me a lot. He was being sneaky, like he didn't touch my private parts, he was grazing my arms, I have a ganglion and he was like "ohh what's that??" etc. I told my husband, and asked him to come with me next time. I know it's terrible that I felt I needed a male presence to not be touched, but I thought that at least would stop him. Noooo he still touched me, in front of my baby daughter *and* my husband. My husband sternly told him "Stop touching my wife". We hastily finshed my baby's exam and left. I was too scared to take the issue further, and sometimes I think, what if he hurt someone even more cause I never said anything...
I'm sure you called the police, right? Or did you let him continue his predatory behavior with every other female patient?
But of course! A single phone call to the police will stop that аsshole dеad in his tracks! I hope she called ‘em and saved hundreds of patients from аbuse since the police can fix ANYTHING!
Load More Replies..."She Said" got me thinking about how prevalent gender-based violence (GBV) is. And how it would be hard to find a woman who hasn't been in a scary or uncomfortable situation with a man, at least once in her life. I come from a country where the government has labeled GBV a 'national crisis' and a 'second pandemic.' So that should tell you a lot.
“We have amongst the highest rates of intimate partner violence," said South Africa's president, Cyril Ramaphosa, while addressing the nation in 2020. "This is a scourge that affects us all: young and old, black or white, rich and poor, queer or cis, rural or urban. It pervades every sphere of our society... We are in the throes of a deep crisis that must be brought to a decisive end."
But the following year, the United Nations Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women found that "the failure of South Africa to prevent and protect women and girls from domestic violence constitutes grave and systematic violations of rights under international law."
Working in retail - weekend job in my early twenties. After work eats and drinks.
Work colleague that I had never shown any interest in, came over and shouted in my face when I was chatting and flirting a little with a guy in the bar. He behaved as though he owned me and who did I think I was talking to men, that I was a s**t(!) because I’d let him buy me a drink earlier and I was leading him on!! After trying to defend myself and fleeing to the toilets, these girls I had never met consoled me after listening that this idiot was not my boyfriend and I didn’t know why he had behaved like that. Those feisty young women, Roman shield- style, marched me past him after calling me a cab, staying with me outside until the cab came.
Unbeknownst to me, he had been telling my week day colleagues that we were dating. I managed to convince management it was a lie the following day but the damage was done and I quit at the same time.
His level of anger was so unhinged and truly frightening. I didn’t even like him that way and had never encouraged him in any way because of that. I was so petrified of him, even with knowing that this workplace was far from my home and he knew nothing about me.
Women are amazing - especially when you meet them a lil tipsy in the bathroom of a bar or pub. I’ve been safely escorted out by a tribe of determined women just like this haha, and also had my makeup expertly fixed, been given relationship advice, been given pep talks and compliments I really needed to hear, borrowed tampons, gossiped, laughed, cried, gotten tons of hugs and taken loads of selfies with random sweetie pies I’ve just met in the bathroom. One time I even swapped shoes with a girl for some reason (I guess we liked each other’s shoes better) and we never met again but it’s an hilarious memory for me, and I hope for her too. Always complete strangers. Always a connection 😊 love ya ladies! ❤️
Those girls were amazing they likely saved you from something more serious, us women need to stick together , I hope he lost his job the vile inhuman
I was at the airport waiting for my flight when a drunk guy came and sat next to me. And then he lay down and put his head in my lap! I was stunned, what to do? I told him to go, he wouldn't leave me alone and was ... hmm ... being disgusting. But I was saved by a young girl who came over and said oh there you are, we're sitting over here. Come with me.
The Word Bank notes that the two regions with the highest-known prevalence of IPV are Sub-Saharan Africa, "where 33% of women aged 15–49 years have suffered IPV in their lifetime and 20% in the last year alone, and South Asia, where 35% of women in the same age bracket have experienced it in their lifetime and 19% in the last year."
It adds that young women aged 15 to 19 are the most affected by IPV. Stats show that by the time they are 19 years old, 1 in 4 adolescent girls who have been in a relationship will already have suffered at the hands of a partner.
On a group caving tour, the sort where you float in the river in the cave on a ring for a bit, the guide pulled me by the foot away from the group and into the dark to “show me something cool” despite my firm then frantic protestations. After my kicking and shouting for my friend, he let go of me so I could swim back to the group while sulking that I was “boring”.
It’s not the worst thing that’s happened to me, but it was one time that my alarms were absolutely RINGING in my ears to GET OUT.
Leg pulling. I've seen men do that before. Must be some ancient cave man genetic thing.
If there truly was something interesting he wanted to share he could've announced to the group "Hey everyone there's a really cool rock formation in this area, who wants to go see it?" etc. But that likely wasn't his intention in this case.
A growing number of women are single, and many of them are living alone, notes Daniel A. Cox, director of the Survey Center on American Life, adding that they are less likely to be attached to a community such as a religious congregation, and many live far from immediate family members. Cox was commenting on statistics that show women have become more afraid of men since the #MeToo movement.
I had an ex boyfriend when we were dating that liked to pick me up randomly in public. Not even in the maiden type way, like just plucked me up tall ways and wouldn’t put me down no matter how many times I’d ask. I hated it and It made me feel like he didn’t respect me, or care about me saying “no.” But I was young and naive and continued the relationship. Well, he recorded us f*****g (without my knowledge or consent) and then gaslit me when I caught him. He was a piece of s**t who never saw me as anything other than something to play with. I shoulda known at the first moment he made me feel uncomfortable.
I hate being “scared.” I have social anxiety and it makes me kind of jumpy, so it’s pretty easy to hide behind a corner or something and jump out to scare me. My coworkers found this out and wouldn’t stop doing it to me like 5-6 times a day. It stopped being funny after the 2nd time, and started making me feel so exhausted and irritated whenever they did it. They stopped when I asked except for one guy. It got so bad I had to go to HR and beg them to make him stop constantly trying to make me jump. He finally asked me out on a date and I immediately refused - like are you kidding me? I told you you make me uncomfortable and begged you to stop and you refused, why would I want to spend MORE time with you?
Wish I had been that smart with the man I married. His 'controlling' came out early, before we married - wish I had seen and KNOWN the signs, but I was young and nieve.
Time to recrod him doing something without HIS knowledge or consent. I would go scorched FOCKING EARTH on that POS
I don’t think she’s referring to the carrying part as gaslighting. I think OP means that happened later on, but she didn’t really elaborate on it.
Load More Replies..."Young women today are also more likely to live in cities surrounded by strangers, specifically strange men. With the rise of dating apps, their dating experiences more regularly put them in contact with men who have no connection to their offline lives, making personal safety a legitimate concern," writes Cox.
He says that even though much is being done to protect women in the workplace, bullying and exploitative behavior online is increasingly common.
"I'm a nice guy"
The second they say that, I know they aren't a nice guy lol.
If you have to say you're one thing, you're not. Whatever it is.
Load More Replies...if you are a nice guy you show it with your actions you dont need to say it
That's my life philosophy. I had a brief "Nice Guy" phase when I was a teen, but now I'm determined to be better. And while I'm sure I still have a lot to learn, women being just... casually comfortable around me is a great feeling :)
Load More Replies...If you're actually that nice, she will already have noticed that.
If it's true, they wouldn't feel a need to say it. It wouldn't occur to a nice guy to say that. Same with "I'm not lying to you!"
This actually made me giggle because a freak was hitting on me years ago who not only pleaded "nice guy" but also told me how smart he was. I wasn't scared but I did laugh in his face.
"I'm an Alpha male" translates to I'm an a**h*ole".
Load More Replies...Also, they said it like it's a great accomplishment to be nice when in reality, nice is the bare minimum. I wouldn't want to date someone who is not nice to me.
women do like nice guys its just you are not as nice as you think you are. So called nice guys think women work like one of those loyalty cards from Starbucks where every time you buy a coffee you get a stamp and at 10 stamps you get a free one they think if they pay enough compliments then they are entitled to s*x or attention just no go back to your basement away from the public
Asked me to meet up at like 10 pm to take a Walk in the woods together and proceeded to Call me boring when I firmly declined.
Where I'm from, you don't go out in the woods at night without mace or a gun.
"Lieber fünf Minuten feige als ein ganzes Leben tot " ("rather a coward for five minutes than déad for life")
Load More Replies...A walk in the woods at night? Yeah...not about to be a true crime episode on ID Channel, thank you very much.
Sure, but for the record I'm going to need to know the guys blood type, if he's a drinker, or has family history of kidney disease.
Trust me - guys like that telling you you are boring is a VERY good thing
Some years ago after work at a student job I stood at a bus stop with a female colleague. She just started to work there and though I'm quite bad at making contact with a new person and small talk I felt the need to talk to her somehow, asked what she does besides that job etc...Then at some point there was an awkward silence, I was nervous because of that silence and I asked her if we should walk to the next bus stop (~ 500 m away) because walking calms me down and she said 'No!' quite loudly. It took me about half a year to realize that she might have felt threatened/thought I would lure her into some dark alley and mug her...I get it that there are a lot of creeps, but some men are just socially awkward/insecure. But I also get that women are better off assuming the worst from a man...(sad reality though)
Cox says while it's a good thing that more women are speaking up about their fears around men, it's less ideal that so many conversations about the topic occur online. "Social media algorithms segregate these conversations in ways that reinforce pre-existing world views," he explained, adding that women are inundated with stories while most men hear little or nothing about these incidents and how they impact women's lives.
"It's especially unfortunate because an open conversation would help bridge the gap in understanding," said Cox. "Men might come to better understand how these fears influence decisions that women make."
Stood too close to me. There's an instinctive 'bubble' humans have in socialisation, we know up-close is verboden unless we KNOW each other. But standing so close to me I can feel your breath? You've invaded my bubble. Step the f**k out because I do NOT feel safe with people who invade the bubble without permission.
I've been known to put my hand on a man's chest and push him away, while stating LOUDLY, "YOU ARE ENTIRELY TOO CLOSE. BACK UP AND DO NOT DO THAT EVER AGAIN." Get loud, make a scene, they hate that.
I had no problem "accidentally" elbowing someone or hitting them with my purse when they get too close. They I'll say "oops, looks like you were in my personal space". :)
Load More Replies...Maybe it’s just me but I get very uncomfortable when anyone steps too close, anyone at all, even if they’re a friend. Idk, I like my space.
I miss the enforced 6 ft rule especially in lines at stores. Some folks will just get right up on top of you in line … it’s like dude, I shouldn’t feel you breathing on me waiting to pick up my prescription.
Load More Replies...It's how I feel about hugs. I'm like a cat and I don't like to be touched by just anyone.
Unless you know someone super super well, you should always ask before hugging, I feel.
Load More Replies...My friend had an absolute dickwad of a partner for a long time. I was at a house party and he was all up in my face. (Bearing in mind that my friend, his partner, was also there!!) I kept rebuffing him politely (I am British, he is Polish) and he just kept going. He started unbuckling my belt in the middle of the room and when I slapped his hand away he just said "Don't worry, I'm not going to r a p e you". He also spiked my drink the first time I met him. God only knows what she saw in him. I was elated for her when they broke up but they somehow ended up back together again.
So this guy is a creep but there's no innate human bubble/distance. Space is cultural, with some cultures in the Himalaya having it be ok to put your hand on a strangers leg when talking if you're the same gender, and different genders keeping much farther away. I was very uncomfortable because my society doesn't have the same conventions. The baseline for personal space is social and then refined by each person. Just own it and say he was too close to me, you don't need all of humanity to back your okay for it to legitimate. That just promotes the idealogy of no needs a better reason to mean no.
While that is true, there's a limit for closeness. Especially after Covid it shouldn't need any explanation for an adult to not breathe on others.
Load More Replies...If someone does this to me while I'm on line in a shop or something, my go-to move is to pretend to violently sneeze, making like I'm turning to the side to sneeze into my arm. Usually they step back immediately, but if not, they get whaled by my rapidly moving arm. :)
While I agree that it is uncomfortable when people get too close, I think it's worth remembering that some people can just have, say Asberger's, or something, and just don't know. Be polite, at least at first, before hitting or shouting at people. *eyeroll*
When I was 16 maybe 17, I was with a guy friend at an amusement park that was having a Halloween event with all sorts of scary mazes and whatnot. There were supposed to be more friends with us but they flaked so just the two of us went. Apparently he took this as an excuse to try (emphasis on try) to turn our hangout into a date. He kept grabbing me by “bumping into me” in the dark (it wasn’t that dark), he kept buying me food (I would always counter by buying him MORE food so I wouldn’t owe him anything), and he just kept making weird comments that were vaguely flirtatious but not enough to call out directly.
The whole outing was incredibly uncomfortable and, when it was time to head home (he was my ride home), we got in his car and I got buckled up and everything but he just sat there. And then, after a notable silence, he said “I wonder how many people are having s*x in their cars right now.”
I laughed nervously and retorted by saying “Hah! Or doing d***s! Crazy right?” and then I proceeded to turn on Eminem’s “Rap God” loudly on my speakerphone and I started rapping along very poorly until he finally started taking me home. Don’t ask me why that was my move, but hey it worked.
On the way home he took a wrong turn, and while I’m sure it was accidental it scared the s**t out of me considering what just happened, so I corrected him immediately and thankfully he got back on track and got me home without any incidents.
I never hung out with him again.
I was at a nature preserve taking photos and happened to be wearing a shirt with one of those "evolve fish" on it along with a science positive message. I was there with my family, but they were slightly further down the trail. A couple guys were approaching so I turned to give them the friendly nod as you do in the South.
That's when one of them looked at me with the most terrifying expression and said, "I hate your shirt."
Now, that may seem pretty tame, but the look in his eyes was scary as f**k. I began backing up towards my family and his friend started pulling him away. He let his friend lead him away, but he kept his eyes on me until they went around a bend in the trail. It was like being watched by a predator. I fully believe that if I had been alone, he would have attacked me.
I used to have a jesus fish with feet. I thought he was cute. Mine said Darwin :) A little sticker on my car, not a whole shirt. It was just silly
Load More Replies...Me too! What’s your museum? I love the Royal B.C. Museum in Victoria, BC 😊
Load More Replies...I was at the grocery store & happened to be wearing a Planned Parenthood pin & the female clerk glared at me & said "Is that a Planned Parenthood pin?!" I said "yeah". Her glare getting more & more hateful, she said "Do you work there?" I said, "No." She said "Oh" & continued checking out my order still glaring the whole time.
When you don’t give them what they want and that shadow falls over their eyes and face. Ugh….
Oh yes sadly we do !, and it also f kin hurts to !
Load More Replies...Right? Oh, you picked up my dropped phone? Yeah, that doesn't mean I'm going to f*ck you as a form of thanks.
Sometimes you can't help the face or don't even know it's there. What you can control is what you do next.
As a man, you'll never know the look being talked about. It happens the instant they don't like something and it's unmistakable
Load More Replies...
Bought me a drink and then joked about it being spiked, followed by a nervous laugh.
Seen it. It's amazing how fast that random white powder goes in. I was telling the bartender and security inside of a minute and I never saw him again.
Never accept a drink from a stranger especially like a mixed drink or cocktail.
Load More Replies...People who aren’t usually the victims of this kind of a*****t and have never had to be worried about it :( aka most straight men (although we’ve all heard of men who have been drugged too so everyone should please be aware and careful!)
Load More Replies...Same thing happened to someone I know. She immediately told the bartender to call security because someone had spiked her drink. The dude got all defensive "I was just joking". Security told him it wasn't a joking matter and they were going to test the drink and call the cops. Dude booked it like his a*s was on fire. She heard later that the pub sent his picture (from CCTV footage) to all the clubs and pubs in the area with a warning to keep a watch out.
When a guy I didn’t know happened to buy me a drink (and I wasn't able to see it the whole time), I asked him to take some sips first... usually not an issue. But two times those 'nice' guys really got offended, started to make fun of me, then telling me I was a sissy, causing a scene about nothing. Big red flag, so I left them and the drink to their rants (both times, the drink stayed untouched). Very telling. Additionally, never go out alone, ladies. Always have your group of friends with you (even if you're sometimes dispersed all over the club - clue: those guys thinking I was on my own).
someone spiked my drink years ago. Fortunately I was with a fried because I felt Like I had a lobotomy or something
I'd pour it out on his shoes, and walk away. (At least, I'd want to do that.)
My most recent therapist and I were talking about beliefs and I told him I was an atheist and his demeanor immediately changed. He got incredibly tense and visibly rigid, got really curt, and glared at me the same way my dad and brother used to when they really wanted to hurt me- and eventually would. It was the kind of glare that you know is followed up by an attack. And he just sat there for a bit, glaring in silence, jaw clenched, unblinking. And then said “let’s just schedule your next session”. Which we did, and I cancelled it two days later because I felt so unsafe.
I know that if it hadn’t been a virtual appointment, he would’ve hurt me. I feel it in my gut.
This is why I only go to therapists who are not men. I do not and never will trust men.
In the 90s i begged the hospital i was an in patient of to set me up in after care with a female therapist because that's who i was most comfortable with and they scheduled me with a man named Jeff because it will be "good for me." Derailed my progress and ended up back in patient because i felt too uncomfortable with him. 90s.
Load More Replies...I am a Christian and my therapist is an atheist. We have a great professional relationship.
And that is as it should be! I'm an atheist, and many of my friends are believers. Neither I nor they have to compromise our ethics to be friends; we just have to not be a-holes.
Load More Replies...I can’t stand female gynes! It seems to me that because they’re familiar with girl parts that they needn’t be gentle, whereas men, who haven’t a clue what hurts and what doesnt, are much more gentle, in my experience. I vacillate between two gay gynecologists. (Yeah, I know! But both said they got into the field because of the wonder of birth which, when I thought about it, seemed obvious in retrospect, but it didn’t occur to me at first because all I could think was “Yuck!” on their behalves.) The last female gynecologist I had did nothing but terrify me, wanting to biopsy everything whether or not it made any sense, and when I turned her down, got angry, and I couldn’t deal another moment with her constantly instilling fear in me. The gay men are MUCH more thoughtful and sensitive, and haven’t ever ONCE scared or hurt me.
Load More Replies...I hope to hell she did! The world doesnt need therapists doing MORE damage than you went to them to help solve! 🤬🤬🤬
Load More Replies...Sounds to me like he was abused by someone and it had something to do with religion, and he has NOT worked on his own issues. Drop, ghost, move on, do not give him the satisfaction of a goodbye in person or even an email.
That's a pretty specific diagnosis with very little to go on. You ok?
Load More Replies...I'm a retired LCSW child, adolescent, and family therapist. I'm also Catholic. I trained initially in a residential treatment center for adolescent girls. It was a requirement that they be on birth control. That wasn't too difficult. Later I had to support a client that just had an abortion. That was tougher. Later, I worked with adolescent and adult s*x offenders and a kid who killed. After a while you realize they are all people and you just help them make their lives better, any way you can.
Almost the exact same thing happened to me with my therapist except she was female. I never went back.
Invited me to his house, asked me up to his bedroom to listen to music, acted perfectly normally for several hours, then got between me and the door when I stood up to leave, and didn’t let me out for half an hour until I reminded him that my mother was expecting me back by a certain time. I’d just turned 14, and it didn’t worry me especially at the time because, as far as I was concerned, this was just how boys acted sometimes.
Gen-X flashbacks. If you remember the Bicycle Man episode of Different Strokes. You know what I'm talking about.
Its scary how much "normalizing" terrible things somehow allows them to continue.....its the US Presidents entire term strategy.
When I was 17 I worked at a small grocery store where I was often the only cashier on shift, so I was alone a lot. I had a consistent rotation of creepy, older men who had zero understanding of boundaries. Here’s the highlight real:
• A man was having trouble with the credit card scanner so I leaned over to help him, and he breathed in deeply and said, “Well you sure smell good,” in a way that made my blood pressure spike. He and the guy he was with laughed at me when I became visibly uncomfortable.
• An old man reached across the register to rub my shoulder as he commented on how much of one color I was wearing. I flinched away but he kept smiling.
• One guy was pretty friendly but asked way too many questions about my personal life, and sometimes held up the line if I wouldn’t answer. He once saw me walking alone in the neighborhood and pulled his truck up to the curb to call out to me and try to have a full conversation, and I felt so unsafe interacting with him without the protection of being in the store with other people around.
• Once, at the end of my shift, a guy stopped me on my way to my car to ask if I worked there. When I confirmed, he smiled and said, “They always have the most beautiful girls working there.” He drove away but I still felt unsettled, and then one of the other store employees ran up to me to ask about the interaction and informed me that the man I’d spoken to was not allowed inside the store. He would not elaborate on why.
I don’t think I was ever in genuine physical danger with most of those guys, but I was so young and so much smaller than all of them, and they never stopped for a second to think how their behavior made me feel. Just thinking about it now, the fear is still so clear in my memory even ten years later.
As a young adult I was working in a restaurant with lots of regulars. I was quite friendly, and a couple of old ladies told me it was nice to have a smiling and bubbly waitress for once, rather than the usual stern faces. Yeah, I quickly understood while waitresses stopped smiling, after several older guys hit on me and tried to proposition me. One even wanted to divorce his wife and marry me ( he was older than my father)
I worked in a bar from age 23-27. The amount of men who could not walk past me without touching my back or waist or hips was so creepy. When you’re just punching an order into the computer and then you suddenly feel some old man’s hand grip your waist and slither along your back while he hisses “pardon me darlin’” in your ear with his cigarette & dead fish breath……ugh it still makes me shudder
This happened several years ago and to this day I cannot tell you when that man began to follow me.
The company I worked for was being restructured. I had gone into work to talk to the board of directors then was told I had like 3hrs before I would be needed again, so I could leave and come back.
That is how I found myself at 10am on a cold and snowy Wednesday in January at a mall.
Wandered around, bought a couple of things and then got an early lunch in the food court.
There were maybe 10-20 people there. Very quiet Winter day.
Tons of empty seats and chairs.
This man plopped down in the chair opposite me and began to eat. Made some comment about “finally”…
I got up to move, he followed.
He made a comment how I am being rude, and I might not look good in the dress I bought.
Made another comment about the makeup and books I bought as I got up again.
I told him to f**k off.
I moved again, he told me to “Stop it, just relax, I have been following and watching you for over an hour. Pretty girls need to be kinder and let men sit with them.”
Nope.
I got a bag from the food place to transfer it to go, told the young university students working what was up, then walked to my car.
Drove around and ended up at the library where I ate in the parking lot.
That one encounter has always stood out because I somehow missed him following me.
I missed the moment he walked over and sat down.
I wasn’t on my phone.
I don’t even remember being in deep thought, just bored from not working.
I am generally so observant and on guard in public, and this one time I wasn’t.
It freaked me out and I now ensure that if I am not in the right frame of mind I should not go on a walk or to a mall so I can remain observant.
Serously, why do men think women owe them something? Who the f**k told them they're that f*cking interesting that every woman is falling over themselves to be with them? Men - you ain't it
This post right here encapsulates pretty much what every woman hasta deal with just *going out in public*. It’s really sad that we hafta be this way, being uneasy and uncomfortable, because there are far, FAR too many men like this who try to tell you you need them and their presence, that they’ll keep you safe from creeps, while being mystifyingly oblivious to the fact that THEY are the type we’re scared we’ll encounter! Was thinking it’d be good to teach boys and girls in school about this, telling ‘em how to avoid being victims and predators, but in this political climate, it just wouldn’t fly, and likely the parents most vocally against it are the parents of boys who behave this way. Argh, argh, argh. 🖕🏻. Twice.
Load More Replies...Yea tells you relax then says that n expects u you be ok wtf that dude was dangerous 🤬
Drove me home from a party, wouldn’t let me out of the car unless I gave him my number.
Yeah hey here’s my no , !,,,,,,,,, 08000 F U K OFF !that’s been my reply for a good few decades now lol
OK, here's the number. Him: calls. Them: Hello, Local Animal Hospital.
D**n I miss the good ol days when you could give out fake random phone numbers freely and be on your way.....sigh....technology f*cked that all up
I was leaving the bar one night and a young guy wouldn’t leave me alone. I probably said no 100x. He finally begged me to share a taxi with him and I said “fine, but I’m going home to my anpartment and then you’re going home to your house.” When the taxi pulled up at my place first, I said goodnight and got out, but he jumped out too. I said NOPE and asked the taxi driver to wait. It was like 2am and I was trying to be quiet but I was almost yelling at this guy begging him to get back in the taxi and get home. He kept refusing and told me he was coming in no matter what I said. My heart was beating so hard, I was like “PLEASE go away, I don’t want you here” and he was just smirking like “nope, I’m coming in, you can’t stop me.” The taxi driver was desperately trying to avoid eye contact with me. I finally took 3 huge steps back and started yelling - I live in an apartment complex so the parking lot is surrounded by the bedroom windows of dozens of residents. I kept repeating “I SAID NO. LEAVE ME ALONE. I WILL SCREAM.” at top volume until he panicked and said “ok ok ok fine, stop, Jesus Christ ” and got back in the taxi. The next day his aunt, who is my age (oh did I mention he was 19 and I’m 32? Twice my size and weight, a huge hockey player dude, but almost half my age and twice my energy lol) was messaging me some pretty nasty stuff. I guess he told her I was mean to him or something? Idk I just blocked her. And him.
Something about your story doesn't make sense, I read it 3x.. How did they get your number? I thought you went home in the same taxi with him so you wouldn't have to give him your number? Which, btw, is not the smartest move. Which is better to have, your number or your address?
Load More Replies...That works until they call it in front of you to see if you're lying
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Kept insisting and offering to walk me back home late at night (presumably to figure out where exactly I lived on campus at the time) after I had politely declined. Said the words, “what why? It’s not like I’m going to do anything to you.”.
Dude, if you insist you will walk her home when she's stated she doesn't want you to then you're already 'doing something' to her.
I’m reminded of the time I was about 22 and went to the same club every weekend. Same fellow would offer at the end of the night to drive me home. After a couple months of his offering and my declining, he said “C’mon! I need to drive you home so I’ll find out where you live and can show up every day to hassle you!” with a big-аss grin in his face. It worked! I laughed, and his charm (and good looks) won me over dim let him drive me home. We dated for a couple months and had a good time. I love it when someone disarms me with charm and humor. 😍
Load More Replies...My wife came back from a night out with her friends by train, so i waited at the train station for her. When she got off there was also a very young woman, about 17 or 18 years old, getting off the train. She was followed by a teenage guy who insisted on walking her home. She declined several times and as she started walking he followed her. I intervened and we, my wife and i, walked her home safely. I felt it very much how scary this situation must be for a woman.
I'm thinking one might make up a name and say something like "Hey Emily, we almost didn't see you! Let's get you home" ..and then take her in tow.
Load More Replies...No means no. That includes when you try to offer someone help with their groceries, offer to walk them home, offer to give them a ride, etc, whatever. No means no, respect it.
"Said the words, “what why? It’s not like I’m going to do anything to you.”." - Because predators tend to give their prey a healthy heads up, right?
Once a police officer thought my house was unoccupied (I had moved in recently and there were boxes and stuff visible through the window, with no lights on). So for whatever reason, that made him think he shouldn't knock on the door but rather TAP on the WINDOW. I had called them like 2 minutes prior because of gunshots right outside lmao. His car also wasn't visible in my driveway. When I tell you I almost shat my soul out when my cats started growling at the window and then I hear tapping. .
American police need the LEAST qualifications & have the SHORTEST training compared to many MANY other countries. Countries of which have significantly lower police related fatalities
Load More Replies...I got a phone call late one night from a man who claimed he worked for the King County Sheriff's Office. He was giving me the description of a "body" they'd found wanting to know if it sounded familiar. He described my youngest sister to a tee. I asked for his name & number so I could call him back and he hung up on me. I was totally freaked out (my sister was only about 14 at the time). She was fine.
I had a guard cat instead of guard dog. She used to lay in the entrance hall on top of my shoe unit, she had the perfect view of the path to my front door. She would growl and hiss w/henever anyone came up that pathway be it postman, delivery people, medical professionals even friends she didn't know well. Nobody got to my door unscathed lol
I used to work offshore on large construction/research vessels.
I had a first mate stop me on the stairway on his floor and show me where his room was and offer me to sleep in the top bunk for “privacy” while he was on shift and not in his room. I was purposefully standing as far away from that open door as possible and quickly left and told the captain as soon as I could.
He got a talking to and didn’t understand what he did wrong and was ltrying to be nice” because I was sharing a room with 3 other researchers.
Really odd that he didn’t offer this to any of the male supervisors also sharing a room.
Started screaming at me and verbally abusing me over the phone over a miscommunication. He didn’t call me names but adopted the most contemptuous, mocking, and dismissive tone of voice. I couldn’t believe my ears because, up to that point, he was the first man I was able to feel remotely safe with after a disastrous marriage (he was aware I was still healing), and it was completely out of character for him.
I was willing to brush it off as a one-time exception because we were both stressed and severely sleep-deprived, but it only got worse despite my asserting my boundaries loudly and clearly. And that’s how I wound up divorced a second time.
Severe misunderstandings aside, a good man should never, ever make you feel unsafe. Learned this the hard way but am all the better for it.
I don't think I would tell a new interest about being abused for a long time. Too many a*****e men look for women like that. They figure if you "let" someone abuse you before, you're more likely to put up with it or not recognize it.
That is called using your past against you ! My 3rd husband did this , I’ve been divorced 13 yrs now , cos I was NOT going thru all that again ,
I got out of an abu.sive marriage, so any argument after that involved me holding a hammer firmly while saying, "We are adults, and can have an adult disagreement with no physical contact". Never had to have that conversation with my husband though. Together 25 years, and I've never been scared of him
As in stop marrying all men? Or stop marrying abusers? Because I know most don't marry abusers, they marrying men who seem amazing and turn out to be abusers later, once you're so very trapped.
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Getting closer and closer to me as I was crying. I knew what he was doing and kept myself turned away from him. When he reached for my face, I screamed at him asking him what the f**k he thought he was doing? His response? Trying to make you feel better.
Yeah because I'm really trying to get felt up while I'm crying. Idiot.
Happened to me too with a "friend" who insisted coming to see me at 2 am when he saw I was sad at work. Ended up coming at 3 even though I insisted he can't come later than 2. Cried in his car how lonely I felt and depressed,he gave me a hug and was feeling up my bra clasp. That was great
Go back and re-read the title of this article.
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A client walks up to me in a space where nobody else was around and says “you look just like my ex wife.” I said “oh, interesting” (because I had no idea what to say to that) and he instantly replied, with direct eye contact: “I f*****g hate my ex wife.”.
Well we all know why she’s an ex don’t we lol she legged it ! Sensible woman
I was walking to work one day, in a Carl’s Jr uniform. I think I was maybe 16/17. I was trying to get across the street from my complex on a not very busy backroad. A black sedan cut me off and stopped in front of me. He rolled down his window and asked if I could help him out. He was holding a wad of cash, and in his other hand he was holding his d**k and stroking it.
I called my mom immediately after getting his plates. The cops got him and said he was military. It turned into a he said she said case (even though he technically admitted to it, and said I had called him over to me. I later heard there were a few other girls who had stories about the black car but wouldn’t come forward .) He got off Scott free because there were no witnesses.
Got his plates, called her mom. She did her part right then the System failed
Which happens all the time. Which is why we don’t report things.
Load More Replies...Eugh something like THAT is protecting America that’s disgusting !! God help the poor women as serve around him , well done op x quick thinking saved your life x
Crystal, people in the US military aren’t “protecting America.” That’s not what our military does. (Not to mention that more than half of any given branch works in administrative-type jobs.) Does your military “protect” the British people?
Load More Replies...? I don’t understand why you think that (unless you’re from somewhere besides the US?) Not only does the military in the US not get cut slack in civilian courts just because they’re military, but the military also has its own justice system, what with trials, jails, fines, and so on.
Load More Replies...It's important to tell the police, if you feel able to (!). Corroboration can make all the difference.
Even if nothing happens *this* time, there’ll be a record of it, so any subsequent reports will have *much* more weight. It’s about documenting the behavior, as the more reports there are, the more each will be taken seriously.
Load More Replies...Something very similar happened to me when I was around 12 (I'm 69 now) and walking to the neighborhood store. He blocked the crosswalk and he was holding and stroking his p***s and asked me if I could get in and show him where a certain street was. He circled the block and stopped again. I had a friend that lived right across the street and I proceded to go in their gate and walk around to their back door like I lived there. When I got back home I told my mother all about it. I believe she called the police but I'm not sure. That is an incident I will never forget!
The way I heard them talk about someone they didn’t like. The anger I could feel was SCARY. It wasn’t directed at me, but I do not do well with anger.. it just irked me.
Oh yeah happened to me not long ago. I used to have a friend with benefits I met with very rarely,he is older than me and he has a few baby mamas. One of the last times we met,I rented a motel room for us because he doesn't have the most stable living conditions and I live with my mom. After we finished and before sleeping we were just talking and I don't remember how we got to this but he was saying about his ex (who has 2 of his kids) how sometimes he wanted to slap her. I know sometimes people say it but they don't mean it but the way he said it,he totally meant it and he chuckled at it too. Kind of lost all respect for him after that because he wasn't a violent man or angry but that was bizzare.
Depends, of course, on why they don't like that person, but yes, I've seen (and heard) that. How people don't like someone just because they're different and totally dehumanise that person. I left that circle of people soon after (and undoubtedly was the next 'horrible thing' to talk about).
"I do not do well with anger." There is probably a good reason for that. It's not just that it "irked" you.
“You should smile more” dude I’m just at the Apple Store to get my iPhone fixed.
"I'm so sorry, but my chemo always gets me depressed."
Load More Replies...Contrary to popular belief, just because I see a clown doesn't mean I have to smile.
Give them the widest smile possible, show all your teeth. Maintain intense eye contact. Turn your head sideways as far as possible.
I did this once and the guy said "stop it you're freaking me out". He went and reported me to my manager
Load More Replies...If you want to come back with a witty statement please do. But remember you don't have to respond just because someone decides to interact with you
Being really loud and smiling as big as I could to the guy who said that to me on the trolley, "And you should mind your own f*****g business, random strange creepy man".
Not take no for an answer in any form.
A guy who used to have a very open crush on me at work, drove me home a couple of times when we finished too late. I was never really worried about him because ii also rejected him a lot and he was very happy to lucky and didn't take things seriously. One time he drive me home,be stopped somewhere kind of close but not really if that makes sense,like 10 min away from my house. We talked briefly and he asked me for a kiss,I declined and he kept begging and even leaned closer so I had to pull back towards the passenger door. Ii felt so awkward and I couldn't walk home as it was also very cold and at that moment I felt a bit scared but thankfully he didn't persist after the 3rd or 4th time and drove me home.
Got upset when I was emotional. Showed me I am unsafe to express my feelings and have support. Showed me that he is emotionally immature and not a safe space for me to be vulnerable.
"Jokes" about pushing me down the stairs while I was unexpectedly pregnant.
Walking up and standing within 2-3 inches of my behind in a line/queue and continuing to close to that distance every time I moved forward. I finally stood in front of my shopping cart and noticed he was-- excited to be there. Hadn't quite rubbed it against my backside but I'm sure it was just a matter of time and if he thought he'd get punished for it.
Engaged the child locks the second I got into his truck and watched me, grinning, for my reaction. (I left from the restaurant on my friend's "emergency check in" call. Online dating is c**p.).
Showed up to my work unannounced with donuts to make my coworkers like him. Multiple times. We weren't even together. We had matched on hinge i believe and hadn't even gone on a date yet, hadn't hooked up, nothing.
That's creepy, or really out of sync at best... but guess creepy at best. Hope it went well
Another reason to stay WELL AWAY FROM DATING SITES ! full of lunatics !
Insisted I got off the elevator first in a parking garage.
Randomsocialmail:
I think I missed learning this one. Genuinely. What is the risk/danger to watch for here?
QueenSnowTiger:
Follow you to your car, find out your license plate, follow you home, surprise attack from behind, etc.
Hmm. This could go either way. I could see a perfectly normal and truly nice man doing this because he was raised to be chivalrous, or simply bc someone has to exit first. After typing that I scrolled back to the title or this article: "60 Times Men Terrified Women Without Even Realizing It". This is one of the few that actually belong here, since in a lot of these examples the man clearly knew what he was doing.
I understand what you're saying but men need to grasp the concept of context. Offering for a woman to exit first in a shopping mall or office setting is fine; not if you're exiting into a garage space. Never be right behind a woman in a space like that
Load More Replies...I mean he could be a gentleman ladies first n all that lol , personally I hate it , I’m no ladyb😂I’m Welsh n lady n Welsh valley lass does not go in same sentence , but in a crowded place ok safe ,( ish ) going down to a parking lot trust your instincts,
I'm a cleaner. I was cleaning his house. He came up to me and looked me fully up and down and said "you REALLY have a lot of tattoos don't you?" And something about the way he said it and his body language just made the hair on my body stand up. F*****g yuck bro.
Really hate when men stare at you while doing anything physical tbh. Maybe I'm overreacting but a lot of people feel self conscious when working out or cleaning and sweating in general. When I was in my early 20s and worked on retail,i was cleaning up trash from a pallet and I used to wear leggings to work which later I found out were a bit see through when I bent down. The cleaner guy we had was this huge weird older man and he tended to sweep a little too much near my department when I was there and that day,ii was cleaning up and bending down to collect the trash and ii feel him standing behind me. He was just staring at me. Needless to say this guy made my skin crawl.
A taxi driver started complaining about the excess of foreigners. He started saying stuff like "Irish people aren't breeding enough". It gave big Handsmaid Tale vibes and I insisted he drop me off at a grocery store.
My partner and I caught a cab back to our flat once. Driver had an Irish accent and my partner (also Irish) asked him where in Ireland he was from. Driver says Belfast and said he moved to London years ago because of the prejudice against Catholics in Northern Ireland. And then...as we approach our flat in east London, driver proceeds to make a series of increasingly racist statements about how "don't suppose many of your neighbours speak any English" and "far too many Muslims in this city these days" etc. DUDE! Can you not hear yourself? Seriously...
There's an unreasonable number of racist and xenophobic Irish people, considering we are so often the Xenos
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At a place I used to work in, I was down in archives with some other dude and the shelves made this really loud noise being compacted. He made a comment about how it's funny you can never hear it upstairs and I realised in that moment that he could do anything he wanted to me and no one would hear me if I screamed. Nothing happened, and I don't think he meant it that way, he was just making an observation, but it made me worry.
This is the only one where I think that the guy genuinely was just making an off-hand comment, but I can fully imagine being freaked out by it
It's like when someone is walking behind you at night. They could be perfectly innocent, but you will still speed up or cross the street. The fear is real. I know some men feel it's rude when women do this, as they don't mean any harm. And some idiots think it's cute to speed up or cross the street and follow after, simply out of pique. But they don't seem to realize they are strangers and there's no way for us to know whether they are dangerous or not. And behaving like predators makes them predators too.
Load More Replies...I’m a very suspicious person I trust. NO ONE (bar my two kids obvs) n that comment would have had me on my metal instantly I gotta say , it’s a bloody strange thing to say to a female ffs even if it is meant totally off hand , never say things like that !
I was in college, and some of my floormates had organized a movie night. After the movie, when people were talking and not paying attention to us, he said he was “too tired” to go back to his dorm, heavily hinting that I should be “nice” and let him stay in mine. 👀👀👀 No. I didn’t want anything to do with whatever version of him would have shown up when we were alone.
Out of the blue in mid conversation: "if a woman hit me I have no problem beating her for it." (Starts laughing and goes back to the original discussion he interrupted to throw this unrelated thing out there and acts like everything is fine). Didn't feel threatened at the time or like he was agitated or being aggressive at all in that moment, but it quickly made me worried.
Broke it off with him fairly quickly after that. Like there was any reason to state that and I got this feeling after that that it wouldn't even take somebody, anybody hitting him for him to want to put somebody in the hospital or worse.
Rolling joke between the ex and his dad.. "what was the last thing the man said before hitting his wife? shut up" or how about mother's ex boyfriend that would brag about how he beat up the head prefect girl at the orphanage. *spoiler* all were aggressively a*****e men.
Held me down even though I told him to let me up while "playing".
That's when being fat comes in handy. I'm hard to kidnap. ;)
Load More Replies...had one do that to me one time...and one time only...he quickly got my knee right to the royal jewels...this was after i slaved making a very fancy dinner for us at his place...he tried to grab my ankle as i made a beeline for the door...i left my pans and everything there and never went back to retrieve them.
I took the train into the city for our date, so my car was at the train station and I had a round trip train ticket (like a 15 min train ride)
This was our first date, and when it was over, he was *adamant* about driving me back to my car rather than me take the train. I told him no thank you, I’ll just take the train cause I already paid for the ticket. He was *begging* me and it was honestly weird. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable with it because I didn’t know him well, and he got kind of offended by it. Still didn’t let him drive me back though lol.
Yea. He was honestly a really strange guy. At the time I didn’t think too much about how weird the driving-me-back-to-my-car thing was, so I went on like two more dates with him and there were more and more red flags, and I realized the littlest things would cause him to like.. become incredibly upset and act strange and distant?? Plus he told me he and his ex broke up because “she wasn’t getting his hints” lol. Dude was a weirdo.
Stood between me and the door.
An apprentice handyman who was at our house when I was pregnant did this to me while I was trying to get my lunch ready in the kitchen. I am 160cm (5'3 in weird, I think) and was like a perfectly round angry bird in my 7th month. He was big enough to have to stoop in the door frame. The master craftsman who was in charge of him came back after getting the supplies he needed, I told him what had happened and he fired the guy immediately. Those are the kinds of allies we need.
Celina, I’m assuming “5'3 in weird” is an idiom in your native tongue; I’d be grateful if you’d explain its meaning as it’s “weird” to those of us unfamiliar with the term. Thanks!
Load More Replies...How the fúck would that have helped? He was twice her size. And no, you wouldn't.
Load More Replies...He could and should have moved if his intentions were pure.
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Boundary testing: touching, sarcastic jokes, following me, see what I will/won't put up with, plausible deniability, manipulation, road rage.
Showing up to my house to pick me up for a date drunk.
Telling me they don’t believe my abuse. When I’m not the one bringing it up or inquiring or asking to talk about it…
Asking me small sexual things like blow me a kiss when I’m not even comfortable speaking to them.
Just starting to get to know each other and touching me in any way. It’s crazy how some people can think instant sexual attraction is mutual.
Uncomfortable touch, groping and worse is NEVER about sexual attraction but always about power.
No, it’s not “NEVER” about attraction. I’m sure it’s about power at least some of the time, but other times it IS sexual. “There are no absolutes” is the one true absolute I can think of. 😉
Load More Replies...It’s not the kiss that’s sexual al it’s the meaning behind it !, n in this case she was right to trust her instincts, he meant it the WRONG WAY
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Saying wow I’m sorry that happened then ends up doing the same thing but worse 😭
Or instantly wanting s*x, to kiss my lips, or call me s**y on the first date? And throws a hissy fit because I said no respectfully. Bye.
Don't you just love it when they call you a s**t because you won't sleep with them? I've never understood that logic?
I love how they don't get that it's a self-own. So she'll sleep with literally anyone, except you? Nice, lol
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Stood in my way when I was walking in the aisle at a grocery store. When I tried to walk past him he kept moving with me. I could see that he wanted me to talk to him, his behavior was just so bizarre.
Self defense course I took - officer said not to be polite. Predators expect women to be polite. Yell MOVE! or STOP! in a deep voice from your gut. We had to practice it.
Load More Replies...Had a guy follow me aisle to aisle at Walmart trying to talk to me. I shop with headphones in so it was kind of easier to pretend I didn't see him as I was busy choosing items but I could see him from my peripheral vision. I got so uncomfortable because if you see someone is not paying attention to you,then go. Don't stalk them through the aisles. When I was at the fish station choosing my salmon I thought he left only to turn around and see him right next to me. Men,if you want to hit on a woman,that's fine but please learn signs and cues when you shouldn't pursue it any longer.
I had a man follow me around a grocery store with a bottle of wine begging me to let him cook dinner for me that night. Who would say yes to that???
On a speed dating event hugged me very tightly and asked which hotel I’d be staying at in Hawaii on a trip I was taking with my mother the following week….
He ended up on the news and was all over the FB page “Are we dating the same guy”. I reported him that night to the speed dating event. I just felt it.
Figured out where I was when I sent him a photo at the time, and surprise visited.
Stalker. I foolishly sent my ex the view out of my window and he figured out where I lived, where my bedroom was located in the large house and sent me a photo of my bedroom window encircled with a red heart. The photo was taken at night when I slept..... Yup the rest of the relationship was mostly me trying to lose him and him resisting and stalking me.
Eeesh! My blood ran cold and I felt a stab of fear in my stomach just reading your paragraph! I think that had I experienced what you did, i mightta started screaming and not stopped until I passed out! I’m glad you’re still around to tell us about this horror. (And thanks a lot for the nightmares. 😬🫣)
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Made a “joke” about putting something in someone’s drink.
I think their faulty logic in this type of thing is that no one who would really do that would joke about it. It's good when they out themselves.
Another illogical part is considering the subject funny at all.
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Talked about my v****a surgery to his best friend after I explicitly told him how private I am about my medical needs.
He complimented himself over and over. Looking for me to agree. I could see where he was annoyed that I wasn’t complimenting him enough.
It made me really uncomfortable because I knew he would be THEE worst to have an argument with.
Interrupting me when I’m trying to explain something important.
Or interrupting at all, really.
We were laying down watching a movie, he placed his head on top of mine and then squeezed me so tight it hurt and whispered “I already miss you”. Scared me a lot, I broke up with him the next day. Something about the way he said it.
My ex asked me to be his gf after he drove me out to the middle of the woods at midnight. I had no idea where i was if he left me there in anger, and i had nobody to call for help. I knew him for around 3 weeks at this point.
Hopefully, he became her ex after she got home. I guess technically he would still be an ex.
Load More Replies...I had a landscape lighting repair tech be a no show twice from scheduled appointments. He finally called me to reschedule. He showed up and told me he didn’t show because he was in jail. “That b-word had me arrested for not paying child support.”. He finished his work, and when he left I researched his name on the local sheriff’s website. Turns out that was the truth, but also had several arrests for d**g possession. I could only assume he didn’t have the money for child support payments because it was going up his nose - c*****e.
Dying laughing at Megan the Stallion getting shot.
Singer who was shot by a guy who denied it but is now in prison for it.
Load More Replies...Compared me to pinup model bettie page after i just mentioned i had recently turned 17 🫠🫠.
At our firms Christmas party a few years ago, one of the young ladies in our customer service department came over and said one of the guys from accounts was harassing a new young starter. I went and looked and he had her almost pinned to the wall. For context, I'm quite a big bloke . I didn't want a big scene so we went over and joined them with a cheery "Hello Jenny, how's my favourite niece?" She knew me from installing her PC and started talking to me animatedly. He soon moved away. Edit, I know for sure, he got the message, probably staring at him for most of the evening, reinforced it!
You did a good thing but if we don't call these a******s out to their face nothing changes. It doesn't have to be a big scene; a little whisper of "never do that again to a woman" in his ear is enough.
Load More Replies...Turned out not to be an issue in any way at all--he was a kind, considerate man--but on our first date, he thought he'd impress me by showing off his rock-climbing skills and pick me up for our date by CLIMBING UP TO MY SECOND-FLOOR APARTMENT and knocking on my living-room window. Without telling me first. With the wrong guy, that would have made me feel so unsafe in my home.
I was arguing with a very sexist and homophobic guy and at one point he just stared at me with a huge smile and said "You know, if I punched you right now you would be knocked out and you couldn't defend yourself at all".
He sounds like he would genuinely like to do this and probably would(repeatedly) if he could get away with it...
Load More Replies...I worked a job where a male co-worker who I'd only just met, came up behind me and fixed my tag (the tag on my sweater was hanging out). I was polite but firm when I asked him to never do that again and to tell me if my tag was out. My new female co-workers treated me like I was over reacting. But if I don't know you, you don't have permission to touch me. Being touched by people I don't know is creepy to me.
Yikes! I’m an automatic tag-fixer and (so far) have never been told not to. I’m 65, meaning I’ve done it literally *hundreds* of times now, and the worst reaction I’ve gotten was indifference, but now that I know people don’t like being touched in this way by strangers, I’ll make a HUGE effort not to do it again! Eeep; I’m so sorry. Please forgive me; I’ve only being trying to help and NOT feel you up!
Load More Replies...The more I read of these situations and scumbags the more I hope that my daughter gets lucky in life and swerves these kind of things.. I hope the girls and women in my life see me as an ally and that I’ll always be a safe person to be with. I wish I knew how to equip my daughter with the knowledge and skills to avoid the scum altogether!
There’s no knowledge or skill. She just needs to know what to do when it happens.
Load More Replies...I was walking through a grocery store parking lot when a group of guys who were drinking in the lot started aggressively catcalling me. I went into the store and said that I didn't feel safe and they proceeded to do absolutely nothing about it but tell the guys that someone had reported them. Walking back to my car, they started yelling things like "it was a complement" and "how can we make it up to you " it was absolutely terrifying to me and i was shaking so hard when i finally got to my car.
at the mall, this group of boys was haranguing me and one of them was trying to get my number. when i just said the first thing that i thought of that'd get them to leave me alone (that i was a cis guy), they just started asking to see what was in "there" (aka my genitals). one of them also smacked my a*s.
So they essentially came out and said “We’d like to see the area where you used to have a peen”? 😳 I think I’d then tell ‘em that I haven’t had bottom surgery yet, and do they really wanna see my dіck? Ideally, that’d cause ‘em to scatter, unless one of ‘em *did* wanna see some meat.
Load More Replies...The theme of this suggests that it's about things that men do without intention that make women feel uncomfortable. However, most of the entries are about men behaving in very intentional (and creepy, disgusting, and hideous), ways. That's unfortunate. I imagine that most, basically decent, guys already know that stalking and predatory behaviors are wrong. What they aren't aware of are the certain, perhaps unconscious, behaviors that men engage in that are perceived of by women as being threatening. Thus informed, they could work to eliminate those behaviors in themselves.
When I was 18,I used to come home pretty late after my daily activities and one day when ii turned into my street this guy kept walking close by and waved me off,he pretended like he wanted to know the time or something like that but then kept talking to me. I don't remember at all what we talked about but that walk from where I turned and up to my house was maybe 2-3 min. He did tell me he lived in the area a bit further than me and when we got to my apartment building I was already a bit uncomfortable and he insisted to walk me inside the building itself. I was really shy back then and since he kept walking with me to the door I felt bad and couldn't say anything. Once inside,he guilted me into giving him a hug goodbye and I don't know why the hell I agreed but he hugged me and I could feel him pressing his c****h so close to mine,it was a very personal type of hug from this dude I barely knew. After that day I was so scared of seeing him again,one day I saw him and decided to take a
Longer way around my house since behind it we had another row of buildings and in front of those it was the street,I decided to go there and ii guess he also saw me so he changed his route too. This guy made me so uncomfortable in my own neighborhood, especially since he lived somewhere nearby and used to be in the area at the same time as me. Another time he gave me a death glare when I just kept going,like I owed him something.
Load More Replies...At our firms Christmas party a few years ago, one of the young ladies in our customer service department came over and said one of the guys from accounts was harassing a new young starter. I went and looked and he had her almost pinned to the wall. For context, I'm quite a big bloke . I didn't want a big scene so we went over and joined them with a cheery "Hello Jenny, how's my favourite niece?" She knew me from installing her PC and started talking to me animatedly. He soon moved away. Edit, I know for sure, he got the message, probably staring at him for most of the evening, reinforced it!
You did a good thing but if we don't call these a******s out to their face nothing changes. It doesn't have to be a big scene; a little whisper of "never do that again to a woman" in his ear is enough.
Load More Replies...Turned out not to be an issue in any way at all--he was a kind, considerate man--but on our first date, he thought he'd impress me by showing off his rock-climbing skills and pick me up for our date by CLIMBING UP TO MY SECOND-FLOOR APARTMENT and knocking on my living-room window. Without telling me first. With the wrong guy, that would have made me feel so unsafe in my home.
I was arguing with a very sexist and homophobic guy and at one point he just stared at me with a huge smile and said "You know, if I punched you right now you would be knocked out and you couldn't defend yourself at all".
He sounds like he would genuinely like to do this and probably would(repeatedly) if he could get away with it...
Load More Replies...I worked a job where a male co-worker who I'd only just met, came up behind me and fixed my tag (the tag on my sweater was hanging out). I was polite but firm when I asked him to never do that again and to tell me if my tag was out. My new female co-workers treated me like I was over reacting. But if I don't know you, you don't have permission to touch me. Being touched by people I don't know is creepy to me.
Yikes! I’m an automatic tag-fixer and (so far) have never been told not to. I’m 65, meaning I’ve done it literally *hundreds* of times now, and the worst reaction I’ve gotten was indifference, but now that I know people don’t like being touched in this way by strangers, I’ll make a HUGE effort not to do it again! Eeep; I’m so sorry. Please forgive me; I’ve only being trying to help and NOT feel you up!
Load More Replies...The more I read of these situations and scumbags the more I hope that my daughter gets lucky in life and swerves these kind of things.. I hope the girls and women in my life see me as an ally and that I’ll always be a safe person to be with. I wish I knew how to equip my daughter with the knowledge and skills to avoid the scum altogether!
There’s no knowledge or skill. She just needs to know what to do when it happens.
Load More Replies...I was walking through a grocery store parking lot when a group of guys who were drinking in the lot started aggressively catcalling me. I went into the store and said that I didn't feel safe and they proceeded to do absolutely nothing about it but tell the guys that someone had reported them. Walking back to my car, they started yelling things like "it was a complement" and "how can we make it up to you " it was absolutely terrifying to me and i was shaking so hard when i finally got to my car.
at the mall, this group of boys was haranguing me and one of them was trying to get my number. when i just said the first thing that i thought of that'd get them to leave me alone (that i was a cis guy), they just started asking to see what was in "there" (aka my genitals). one of them also smacked my a*s.
So they essentially came out and said “We’d like to see the area where you used to have a peen”? 😳 I think I’d then tell ‘em that I haven’t had bottom surgery yet, and do they really wanna see my dіck? Ideally, that’d cause ‘em to scatter, unless one of ‘em *did* wanna see some meat.
Load More Replies...The theme of this suggests that it's about things that men do without intention that make women feel uncomfortable. However, most of the entries are about men behaving in very intentional (and creepy, disgusting, and hideous), ways. That's unfortunate. I imagine that most, basically decent, guys already know that stalking and predatory behaviors are wrong. What they aren't aware of are the certain, perhaps unconscious, behaviors that men engage in that are perceived of by women as being threatening. Thus informed, they could work to eliminate those behaviors in themselves.
When I was 18,I used to come home pretty late after my daily activities and one day when ii turned into my street this guy kept walking close by and waved me off,he pretended like he wanted to know the time or something like that but then kept talking to me. I don't remember at all what we talked about but that walk from where I turned and up to my house was maybe 2-3 min. He did tell me he lived in the area a bit further than me and when we got to my apartment building I was already a bit uncomfortable and he insisted to walk me inside the building itself. I was really shy back then and since he kept walking with me to the door I felt bad and couldn't say anything. Once inside,he guilted me into giving him a hug goodbye and I don't know why the hell I agreed but he hugged me and I could feel him pressing his c****h so close to mine,it was a very personal type of hug from this dude I barely knew. After that day I was so scared of seeing him again,one day I saw him and decided to take a
Longer way around my house since behind it we had another row of buildings and in front of those it was the street,I decided to go there and ii guess he also saw me so he changed his route too. This guy made me so uncomfortable in my own neighborhood, especially since he lived somewhere nearby and used to be in the area at the same time as me. Another time he gave me a death glare when I just kept going,like I owed him something.
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