Organizing any large-scale event can be stressful. But when it’s your own wedding, things can get very overwhelming very quickly. Suddenly, you face the realization that you’re in charge of every tiny little decision. And some of them can put you at odds with your loved ones. For example, what do you do if you and your partner’s families and friends prefer completely different styles of weddings?
That’s the question that redditor u/WiseCheesecake8179, who is due to be married, faced. He explained how his and his fiancée’s families are very different, so he suggested booking separate rooms for them at the wedding venue. However, this idea was far from popular. Read on for the full story.
Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
Trying to keep all of your wedding guests happy is a huge challenge, especially if everyone has very particular tastes
Image credits: Dimitri Kuliuk (not the actual photo)
One man shared how he’s considering booking two rooms at his wedding venue, in order to keep his family members happy
Image credits: Mitchell Orr (not the actual photo)
Image credits: WiseCheesecake8179
It helps if the marrying couple has a clear shared vision for how they want their Big Day to turn out
The key thing to remember is that the couple should organize their wedding in a way that they’ll both be happy. After all, it’s their Big Day, not anyone else’s.
So, unless their relatives are funding the entire celebration (which would be very generous of them!), it’s the marrying couple that has the final say on everything: the theme, the venue, the band, the guest list, and all the hundreds of nitty-gritty details that make it a magical day to remember.
That being said, the couple also has to balance out their wants and needs with those of their guests. At the end of the day, we all want our family and friends to feel comfortable and have fun.
So, you at least have to be aware of everyone else’s needs. Does someone have vastly different dietary preferences or allergies? What’s everyone doing for accommodation? Does someone need a babysitter to look after their kids?
Not to mention that practically everybody coming to your wedding is going to have an opinion on the way you organize things. Someone might not like the flower arrangement or the aesthetics of the cutlery. Someone else might have issues with your chosen band or main dishes… or that you’re not serving their fave cocktail.
It’s important not to let all of those opinions sway you. Sure, you can hear your guests out. But if you were to try to listen to absolutely everyone’s advice, you would end up making everyone (including you and your partner) unhappy.
Image credits: Emma Bauso (not the actual photo)
Weddings are stressful to organize, so it’s vital to support each other throughout the entire process
You can be courteous, polite, and empathetic to your guests. But, when everything’s said and done, you need to detach yourself from all of their expectations and focus on what truly makes you and your partner happy.
So long as there’s good food, music, company, and plenty of drinks, most of your guests should be content. And if they’re not, well, it’s not the end of the world.
Weddings are often as good or bad as we make them: unless there’s a whole bunch of activities lined up at the reception, it’s up to each and every one of us to make our own fun. A huge part of that comes down to our own willingness to get to know the folks who also got invited.
According to Brides magazine, one thing that can help keep wedding stress at bay is to hire a planner. That way, you can delegate a lot of the decision-making processes to a professional who does this for a living.
At the same time, don’t forget that your wedding isn’t the only thing going on in your life. You still need to take care of your physical and mental health. And you need to spend some quality time with your partner.
Meanwhile, it also helps to foster a mindset of acceptance when it comes to organizing everything. “Remember that you don’t have to like everything to enjoy the process in general. It’s perfectly OK to acknowledge that some things suck and some things are kind of fun. An engagement and wedding planning is an inherently temporary state, so when things get hard, remember it’s not forever,” licensed marriage and family therapist Landis Bejar told Brides.
Image credits: Jeremy Wong (not the actual photo)
Many internet users weren’t impressed by the groom-to-be’s idea, and weighed in with their opinions
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I hope the wedding doesn't happen. This groom to be is selfish and has no intention of compromising in any important decisions. Run baby run!
Let's compromise: I get what I want and you can do something else in a different room if you want
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His updates are even worse, he basically admits that his wife is right and that he will spend most of the time with his family instead of her on their wedding day. Originally they had actually compromised on allowing kids for the ceremony, but having a child-free reception, but his family complained about having to find childcare in the middle of the wedding, so of course he steamrolled his wife and now they'll have kids at both. I sense a lot of future issues in this relationship because of his family.
It's sad that she is the only one willing to compromise. Its only going to get worse for her if she stays with him. It's all about him.
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Dude, if you can't get together and agree on the wedding it's a bad sign for the marriage. Also, nothing has ever been solved with 'separate but equal'.
I got married a year ago. My husband and I wanted a big party, but we're in our 40s, parents are old and we wanted it to be special for them too. We had a tiny ceremony followed by a lovely pub lunch where the invitees were our parents, godparents - the older lot and a few of our generation who grew up with them around. Then we had a blow out party. My parents left around 9pm and I didn't feel bad partying without them and they didn't feel bad heading off early as we'd had our moment earlier. Best day ever.
Not sure if this guy is an asshöle or just clueless, immature and completely out of touch with reality. Doesn't justify what he suggested in any way, but he sounds completely oblivious. Also totally unaware of what "compromise" means
20 years ago, my hubs & I had a BALANCED wedding (1 party room & 1 quiet room) so people mingled back and forth for hours. It fit my NYC party friends & my new in law Catholic (5 nuns attended) family. Wedding Compromise & family collaboration is the pre test for marriage. FYI: If one of you "wins", your marriage loses.
Ouch, hope there weren't too many bad hangovers from the non-loud side people. It can be hard to keep up with Catholics. Especially nuns!
Load More Replies... This guy and his family seem fun! I'm Greek-American. Our weddings are a lot of fun with lots of music and lots of dancing. By the time I was a teen I had been to a fair amount of Greek weddings. My older cousin got married to a strict Baptist woman. At the "reception" there was.... no wine, no dancing and no music. A Greek wake is more raucous! We brought things back to his parents' house and put some big speakers outdoors and cranked some Greek music. Her side of the family watched in horror as we danced up a storm and worshipped Satan... at least that's what it probably looked like to them.
People who don't like a party can leave early, but it sounds like the wife has compromised a ton, (church and children, those are both huge) husband should compromise on the reception. Don't deny someone a good time with family just because you don't like loud music, you can hang out outside or go. I used to really struggle with noise levels and I would just dip in and out and hang out with the folks getting some air. Why would I ruin the fun of so many? Also if you leave early, no one minds and you can just arrange a catch up with the couple later. Sometimes that's even nicer because it's hard to get any time on the wedding day.
Or like she said just have a longer reception so that everyone can still talk and wish the couple well and then go if they don't like the party bit. To me that sounds like the most reasonable one. Or he could get over it since he's dictated so much already
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It's rare to actually witness a groomzilla in action. I have an idea: why don't the bride and groom-to-be just forego the wedding entirely? The guy can have his little get-together with his family, and the ex-fiancé and her family can go their separate way. Now EVERYBODY'S happy! Seriously, if that's how he behaves NOW, I doubt that this marriage will last beyond the 18-month mark.
If they want a quiet night in, they can skip the reception or just stay home.
Is there someone on his side he doesn't want her to meet? This is the stupidest wedding idea I've ever heard
I'm betting it doesn't get as far as the alter. K******d has already shown that his wife is not to have opinions, or preferences, and should just do as she is told.
Load More Replies... I hope the wedding doesn't happen. This groom to be is selfish and has no intention of compromising in any important decisions. Run baby run!
Let's compromise: I get what I want and you can do something else in a different room if you want
Load More Replies... His updates are even worse, he basically admits that his wife is right and that he will spend most of the time with his family instead of her on their wedding day. Originally they had actually compromised on allowing kids for the ceremony, but having a child-free reception, but his family complained about having to find childcare in the middle of the wedding, so of course he steamrolled his wife and now they'll have kids at both. I sense a lot of future issues in this relationship because of his family.
It's sad that she is the only one willing to compromise. Its only going to get worse for her if she stays with him. It's all about him.
Load More Replies... Dude, if you can't get together and agree on the wedding it's a bad sign for the marriage. Also, nothing has ever been solved with 'separate but equal'.
I got married a year ago. My husband and I wanted a big party, but we're in our 40s, parents are old and we wanted it to be special for them too. We had a tiny ceremony followed by a lovely pub lunch where the invitees were our parents, godparents - the older lot and a few of our generation who grew up with them around. Then we had a blow out party. My parents left around 9pm and I didn't feel bad partying without them and they didn't feel bad heading off early as we'd had our moment earlier. Best day ever.
Not sure if this guy is an asshöle or just clueless, immature and completely out of touch with reality. Doesn't justify what he suggested in any way, but he sounds completely oblivious. Also totally unaware of what "compromise" means
20 years ago, my hubs & I had a BALANCED wedding (1 party room & 1 quiet room) so people mingled back and forth for hours. It fit my NYC party friends & my new in law Catholic (5 nuns attended) family. Wedding Compromise & family collaboration is the pre test for marriage. FYI: If one of you "wins", your marriage loses.
Ouch, hope there weren't too many bad hangovers from the non-loud side people. It can be hard to keep up with Catholics. Especially nuns!
Load More Replies... This guy and his family seem fun! I'm Greek-American. Our weddings are a lot of fun with lots of music and lots of dancing. By the time I was a teen I had been to a fair amount of Greek weddings. My older cousin got married to a strict Baptist woman. At the "reception" there was.... no wine, no dancing and no music. A Greek wake is more raucous! We brought things back to his parents' house and put some big speakers outdoors and cranked some Greek music. Her side of the family watched in horror as we danced up a storm and worshipped Satan... at least that's what it probably looked like to them.
People who don't like a party can leave early, but it sounds like the wife has compromised a ton, (church and children, those are both huge) husband should compromise on the reception. Don't deny someone a good time with family just because you don't like loud music, you can hang out outside or go. I used to really struggle with noise levels and I would just dip in and out and hang out with the folks getting some air. Why would I ruin the fun of so many? Also if you leave early, no one minds and you can just arrange a catch up with the couple later. Sometimes that's even nicer because it's hard to get any time on the wedding day.
Or like she said just have a longer reception so that everyone can still talk and wish the couple well and then go if they don't like the party bit. To me that sounds like the most reasonable one. Or he could get over it since he's dictated so much already
Load More Replies... It's rare to actually witness a groomzilla in action. I have an idea: why don't the bride and groom-to-be just forego the wedding entirely? The guy can have his little get-together with his family, and the ex-fiancé and her family can go their separate way. Now EVERYBODY'S happy! Seriously, if that's how he behaves NOW, I doubt that this marriage will last beyond the 18-month mark.
If they want a quiet night in, they can skip the reception or just stay home.
Is there someone on his side he doesn't want her to meet? This is the stupidest wedding idea I've ever heard
I'm betting it doesn't get as far as the alter. K******d has already shown that his wife is not to have opinions, or preferences, and should just do as she is told.
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