When your partner tells you you've been sleep talking, it's as scary as it is intriguing. Did you reveal any secrets? Maybe you came up with the recipe for the elixir of immortality? One guy in Wichita, Kansas is talking so much and so amusingly in his sleep that his girlfriend eventually decided to start tweeting his phrases, and our funny bones can't thank her enough.

From asking a penguin for his pancakes to revealing that he's Jon Snow in disguise, this guy says so many ridiculously hilarious things, he deserves his own talk show. The Twitter account his girlfriend uses (@Sleep_Sayings) has racked up over 14,000 followers, and it deserves every single one of them. Scroll down to read some of the funniest things his unconscious mind had to say and vote for your favorites!

#1

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

Sleep_Sayings Report

Misterscooter
Community Member
2 years ago

This guy's real dream is to write a sitcom.

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#2

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Last2Know
Community Member
2 years ago

This is sort of genius

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#3

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Ok Ha-Neul
Community Member
2 years ago

wtf? hentai???

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#4

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Ok Ha-Neul
Community Member
2 years ago

get him some pancakes penguin

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#5

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silem arod
Community Member
2 years ago

Either he hates Steve Jobs or he refers to the forbidden apple. Or just the apple hahahahahahaha

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#6

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Maike
Community Member
2 years ago

there must be some ents somewhere

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#7

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Community Member
2 years ago

What did he do to it??

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#8

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DaisyAppreciation
Community Member
2 years ago

Always respect the toilets people

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#9

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Community Member
2 years ago

Blue? Red?

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#10

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Socially Awkward
Community Member
2 years ago

What if the duck doesn't know? Then what?

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#11

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Socially Awkward
Community Member
2 years ago

Um...

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#12

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A Ghost
Community Member
2 years ago

Someone get him his dinosaurs back!

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#13

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Queen Ro$ie
Community Member
2 years ago

I want to fly on a parasol too, bro, I feel you

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#14

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Misterscooter
Community Member
2 years ago

Must be some tasty pants.

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#15

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Misterscooter
Community Member
2 years ago

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

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#16

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Debbie Andersson
Community Member
2 years ago

...I hope he isn´t dreaming about the future.

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#17

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Elina Kuusisto
Community Member
2 years ago

I hate it when that happens!

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#18

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

Sleep_Sayings Report

Community Member
2 years ago

wear the burrito???

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#19

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Alia Gail
Community Member
2 years ago

come down from there fido

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#20

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Queen Ro$ie
Community Member
2 years ago

YEEET TIGERS

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#21

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Community Member
2 years ago

O.o

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#22

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Ok Ha-Neul
Community Member
2 years ago

teenage mutant ninja turtles yesss

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#23

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Hayley Lightcap
Community Member
2 years ago

I tell my cats that all the time

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#24

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Agnes Jekyll
Community Member
2 years ago

Excellent! I hate school exam dreams.

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#25

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Lara B.
Community Member
2 years ago

Someone forgot to censor the second f*ck 8-)

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#26

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Community Member
2 years ago

THEY ARENT ACTUALLY FRENCH FRIES THEYRE FROM BELGIUM...that's a thing you now know

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#27

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Maike
Community Member
2 years ago

allright i will never do it again!

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#28

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

Sleep_Sayings Report

Community Member
2 years ago

Things i now know about him 1. He love Teenage mutant ninja turtles 2. He probably got a dog 3. He don't like burritos(?) 4. Lots of imagination :P

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#29

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Community Member
2 years ago

Wise words

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#30

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DaisyAppreciation
Community Member
2 years ago

These toenails just won't do 😕

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#31

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H4unt3dF0r3sts
Community Member
2 years ago

NOT THE GUACAMOLE. NEVER THE GUACAMOLE.

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#32

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Community Member
2 years ago

weirdly enough i was eating one 0-0

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#33

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Socially Awkward
Community Member
2 years ago

What kind of messed up dreams is this guy having?

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#34

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Cerys Dunbar
Community Member
2 years ago

the babies are getting you back for nicking their nose

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#35

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Socially Awkward
Community Member
2 years ago

All hail the pig! 🐷

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#36

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Alia Gail
Community Member
2 years ago

Hold on little guy

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#37

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Lara B.
Community Member
2 years ago

Was it successful?

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#38

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Gillian Black
Community Member
2 years ago

gotta watch those lobsters i mean have you seen the claw whee

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#39

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Community Member
2 years ago

get it back!

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#40

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Thundor Fox
Community Member
2 years ago

Honestly, how could you fall asleep in the middle of my lecture on rabbits?

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#41

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Gillian Black
Community Member
2 years ago

ok I think I can relate to that???????????????????????

#42

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

Sleep_Sayings Report

Gillian Black
Community Member
2 years ago

ok and the job is bell boy at the local hotel

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#43

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Gillian Black
Community Member
2 years ago

he is always your co driver

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#44

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Anne Glare
Community Member
2 years ago

Does that mean you're the princess of shit or just not a very good princess?

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#45

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Gillian Black
Community Member
2 years ago

give the duck back it is his remote not yours

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#46

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Marnee DeRider
Community Member
2 years ago

Thanks goodness he's a sleep-talker, not a sleep-walker

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#47

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Gillian Black
Community Member
2 years ago

poor lonely you me and my pillow are mates

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#48

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ADHORTATOR
Community Member
2 years ago

kissing would be more dangerous

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#49

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Emily Williams
Community Member
2 years ago

Damn bears....always trying to shank people....

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#50

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Cerys Dunbar
Community Member
2 years ago

someone make a story out of this

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#51

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Susan Westmoreland
Community Member
2 years ago

Then how can you locate the remote?

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#52

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Thegreatcountryofverden
Community Member
2 years ago

I'm guessing he was in a war in his dream?

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#53

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Desiré Yen
Community Member
2 years ago

Best u ask Pennywise that question!

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#54

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Lara B.
Community Member
2 years ago

Poor you :(

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#55

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Cerys Dunbar
Community Member
2 years ago

but not the ducks???

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#56

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

Sleep_Sayings Report

Community Member
2 years ago

you mean the spaghetti-hair-meatballs?

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#57

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

Sleep_Sayings Report

Lara B.
Community Member
2 years ago

I know someone who wants to build a wall. The tallest!

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#58

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Phoebe Bean
Community Member
2 years ago

...and "I'm Jon Snow!"

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#59

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Lara B.
Community Member
2 years ago

You're welcome! (for whatever reason...)

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#60

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Alia Gail
Community Member
2 years ago

yep

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#61

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Phoebe Bean
Community Member
2 years ago

What? the Burrito? Nacho Cheese? We'll never know!

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#62

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Victoria Rey Piuma
Community Member
2 years ago

😂😂😂😂😂

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#63

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Gillian Black
Community Member
2 years ago

no the fridge man wants his pennies

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#64

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Danny Waller
Community Member
2 years ago

And he plays D&D

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#65

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Agnes Jekyll
Community Member
2 years ago

lots of legs in his dreams

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#66

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

Sleep_Sayings Report

Community Member
2 years ago

You can't keep your turtle on all night!

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#67

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

Sleep_Sayings Report

Paul Kwon
Community Member
2 years ago

Hi Hawaii, I'm Dad.

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#68

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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Gillian Black
Community Member
2 years ago

down boy down stop playing with the mustard

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#69

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Danny Waller
Community Member
2 years ago

OK, the guy can be a real dick, even in his sleep.

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#70

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Anna Brown
Community Member
2 years ago

back to the clowns are we?

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