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Deep down, many people feel like they could actually make it as a comedian. While this is a widely misguided concept for the majority of the population, a simple scroll through the comments section on a random post will show that there is a lot of untapped talent out there. 

The “Murdered By Words” Instagram page gathers the hilarious and sometimes savage comments people have left under other people’s posts. So get comfortable as you read through, upvote your favorites and maybe try your own hand in the comments section below. 

More info: Instagram

While we do think of comment sections as an innovation of the Internet age, in one form or another, they have existed since at least the 1500s. In what now we would call Germany, it was common practice (at least among the literate) to “post” one’s ideas in public places, often to literal posts.

The most famous example of this is probably Martin Luther's Ninety-five Theses, nailed to the door of the All Saints' Church in Wittenberg, Saxony-Anhalt, Germany in 1517. Of course, this would only be the practice of people who could read and write and had the time and resources to buy parchment and ink. The internet is ultimately the tool that brought mass commenting to the majority of the population.

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lily jones
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good thing he has a bottle of water sitting right there on the table, he'll need it for that burn

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sadmrguna
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gah! This one annoys me sooo much. The purpose of masks is not to protect the wearer, but the people around the wearer. I suppose that explains why selfish people mostly don't wear them...

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While internet forums are generally older, the first “comments section,” as we might call it these days was created in 1998, for the digital edition of The Rocky Mountain News. This publication was a real trailblazer, as it also featured one of the first “advice” columns, where readers could ask questions. 

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This, perhaps, is what inspired them to open up the publication to reader comments, as a means of creating engagement and loyalty. This practice would soon become the norm, as newspapers, magazines, fan pages, and the first attempts at social media all began allowing people to share their thoughts on a post, article, or page.

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Bob Brooce
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not the first time something like that happened, and often the victim thinks the undamaged bible is proof of god.

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lily jones
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She might wanna jump in the ocean to get some water on that burn (sorry I promise I'll stop now)

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Now, comment sections are so common that there are entire genres of content based on asking for interactions. From posts that are just questions, to people “selecting” things from “what house you prefer” to favorite brunch items, people do love to share their two cents. This has spawned an entire cottage industry, like the list here, of finding and sharing the best comments.

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Bear Hall
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sad, very sad when a culture, a whole nation just disappears, dissolves, and all is left a sappy story with a grain of truth in the middle. And the genes of the people unrecognizable for the eye.

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LauraDragonWench
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Knew it had to happen eventually. Gun control? No f*****g way! More taxes? Hell yeah!

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Indeed, if something has the option to add comments explicitly turned off, most people immediately wonder what exactly happened here. From trolling, and cyberbullying to intensely heated discussions, the anonymity of the internet often doesn’t exactly make for the most civil posts on controversial topics. 

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BrownTabby
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Memo to US restaurants: Apologies for not being clearer when I said you need to “fücking communicate”. If you’re not willing to say what that commenter said, at least say “in the USA we pay our servers $2.something per hour and the tip is to cover the rest of their pay.” If tourists call you barbaric for that, remember that locals also call you barbaric for it. :)

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A number of media outlets have actually closed down their comment sections over the last few years for these reasons. Vice Media closed theirs in 2016, as did NPR. IMDB closed their discussion boards (but not user reviews) a year later. In all of these cases, difficulty with moderation was the number one issue. 

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Two_rolling_black_eyes
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plan A is to save the bees. However, Plan A isn't going very well. Plan B (or Bee) is what you come up with as a crappy alternative in case the main one completely fails. Someone has to make the survival nutrition bars in case a hurricane shows up before a hurricane shows up. Someone needs to figure out a work around in case all the bees die before all the bees die.

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Moderation is a tricky subject because the entire point of a comments section is to share a diverse set of opinions. After all, if literally everyone believed the same thing, there would be no need for anything but the initial post. However, as it so often happens, a small group of people can ruin things for the rest of us. 

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Malek Basata
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

9th century Saxons have pathetic heat endurance skills compared to 7th century Bedouins

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Research suggests that people who feel that their opinion is already widely supported tend to stay silent and often don’t even look at comments. This is perhaps why comment sections on any debatable topic can look so extreme, it’s only the folks with marginal views that take the time to write out what they think. 

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Rizzo
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I would have to wear such a thing I would stop posting selfies where it is visible.

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As is quite easy to imagine, once you get a forum full of folks with the most extreme opinions, conflict is almost inevitable without strict moderation. Since that requires hiring dedicated staff and developing a constantly evolving policy around what is and isn’t allowed, it’s not surprising that so many pages have slowly decided to forgo comments entirely. 

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Google has been working on AI tools to help moderate, as it would appear there is a (sadly) growing market. However, a more human-centric approach has existed for a while, that is, the user-flagged comment option that you can even find here. In other words, comments that break the rules are simply reported and/or downvoted by other readers. 

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LauraDragonWench
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I thought sunglasses were part of the uniform? Did I get my information wrong?

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Full of Giggles
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4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This coming from the same morons who tried to cut my farms’ electric predator fence and set my livestock free into the middle of the damn desert in July.

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Nonna_SoF
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having a robust public transit system so I don't need to drive everywhere?

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lily jones
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4 months ago

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T'Mar of Vulcan
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Extremely super racist. My cousin's wife's name is Gugulethu. I teach at least one child every year with that name. That person is a racist a-hole.

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Nina
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They could've stopped at Gugulethu's reply and it would've been hilarious.

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Khanyisile mdlalose
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gugulethu means "our hope" in Xhosa (one of South Africa's languages) ...

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Nonna_SoF
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now that's not fair. We've also mugged Greek. Probably some Celtic directly too rather than through the French we like to steal from.

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Rebecca Derr
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We should not make fun of a language that we don't understand.

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Daft Mosquito
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why, exactly? It may be hilarious when an innocent word in one language means something entirely funny (if not obnoxious) in another language.

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Hairy Platypus
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To all the people saying this is not racist: It really, really, is. Think about what this guy is saying: "I come from probably the most privileged and "normal" ethnic group on the planet but I'm going to make fun of your name because I'm uneducated and have never heard of your culture." This is literally middle school bully s**t.

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Marlowe Fitzpatrik
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree that it's racist but I still don't think that's what he#s saying. I personally think he just tried to say her name, frowned, and made a joke that he should have kept private to himself. If this person is some known racist online, I apologize for giving him the benefit of the doubt but I don't know him so I try to see the best in people. Again: I agree that it's a racist joke (at the very least a pretty insulting one). I simply don't know if he was aware of the fact when he posted it. Re-posting this here and putting it on a list of "witty comebacks" - That's what I feel uncomfortable with. Because there was a lot of time to think about it and yet someone thought it was okay to make this joke

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BTDubs
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4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's a very well respected journalist from South Africa and I think Charlie Short just doesn't know how to pronounce words...

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Randy Klefbeck
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is pretty caustic considering the first responder's name isn't meant to be interpreted as being an English name.....and is essentially correct in his assessment, except English is more like four or five different languages wearing said coat.

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EJN
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not nice to comment on people's names that they were given, Mr. Short-on-manners!

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B.Nelson
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got to agree with the trenchcoat analogy. Or my favorite: English is like the mugger on the street that beats up other languages and steals all their words.

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Keira Pendragon
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gugulethu's response was Epic, and her name is too. Short's comment on the other hand was something a playground bully in dire need of attention might use.

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Highball
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Crude and heartless reply. Because English (American style) is the most expressive language on earth as it incorporates any and every language. As many or most languages now incorporate it.

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Shane S
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4 months ago

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E.V.A
Community Member
4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After the millions of people who use social media, you can even put in your real name without is saying "this username is already taken". He probably put in some random letters instead of coming up with a unique name for his username.

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Rostit. .
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

okay Charles Short. hope your live laugh love sign is looking good.

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alicia
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that we all know what she was saying even though she didn't write it phonetically.

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Melbo Baggins
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not a good look, Bored Panda. That last comment isn't funny in any way.

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Elladine DesIsles
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aside from the disgusting racism... "naked" is pronounced "naked," obviously, it has to be. The word is pronounced like itself. As is "baked," even if they don't rhyme. Not the slightest bit of phonetic indication anywhere in that sentence. Why isn't "baked" pronounced "bay-ked" or "naked" pronounced "naykt"? That question would make a degree of sense.

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Miki
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude is an a******s. No question there. Making fun out of somebody name is not ok. But I can't say it's a racism.

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Mimi La Souris
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

to be honest, he is right, the kind of look parents give when they talk about their perfect child

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