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The internet, for better or worse, can be a great reminder that we often do have a lot in common with other humans, like it or not. One of the best ways to see that in action is humor, where shared experiences really do showcase how some things can feel universal.
This Instagram account is dedicated to gathering hilarious, relatable tweets about life, the universe and everything in between. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments section below.
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#1
Scott Rackley 7 months ago
Counterpoint: "I'm excited about these new tariffs bringing back manufacturing to the US."
Mreoww 7 months ago (edited)
Fair enough. Being excited about anything related to the Fanta felon’s newest idea is pretty dumb.
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Schmebulock 7 months ago
What if they are excited about watching someone sexual a*****t another person. Can we make them feel stupid then?
Silberwolf 7 months ago
That depends...If someone is excited about the earth being flat or that vaccines have microchips in them, then I definitely will do my best to make them feel stupid!
RELATED:
#2
Child of the Stars 7 months ago
I'm 42 and have completely changed my life over the last 5 years. I've never been more comfortable in my own skin!
V 7 months ago
I just completely switched careers at 40 after struggling to find work for years. Scary but exciting!
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Bartlet for world domination 7 months ago
I fully agree with the sentiment but if you want children there definitely is a deadline, and deadlines derived from it. Please be capable of adulting through your emotions and paying for children before you conceive.
ElfVibratorGlitter 7 months ago
I'm a geriatric pregnancy because well I'm super old (39). And it was exactly this, I'm finally able to afford a child.
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Robert Beveridge 7 months ago
56 has been very good to me so far. Looks like 57 is shaping up to be even better.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 7 months ago
When you’re considered “too old,” it’s oddly liberating. Source: I’m 61.
fly on the wall 7 months ago
Took me until 80, but if I don't want to do something I just don't do it.
Load More Replies... Silberwolf 7 months ago
Don't compare yourself too much with others. People live very different lives, have to face very different challenges...
Michael Largey 7 months ago
I didn't marry until I was 36, and I still wondered if I was rushing things.
#3
winterwidow87 7 months ago
One of my friends has stretch marks that look like gold lines. So pretty.
Auntriarch 7 months ago
My friend's stretch marks shine pearly in the sun
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Rebecca McManus 7 months ago
I'm going to adopt this, for the stretch marks that came with having a baby, the yoyo weight gains and losses from depression, and all those other sunlight on water waves on my body
Social media platforms like Twitter (or X if you want to be annoying) are most often the cacophonous echo chambers of trolls, perpetual hot takes, and the occasional misinformation surge. And in all the noise, the same websites excel at one thing: making instant, shareable connections with bite-sized chunks of content.
A single tweet can both express exactly how you're feeling when your alarm clock isn't working, or capture the collective anxiety of Monday morning traffic. In that moment, you know you're not alone to feel the little absurdities of life.
#4
ohjojo (you/your's) 7 months ago
you're not only losing enough blood but you're also dragging around so much extra blood that you need the calories.
Still Going 7 months ago
Wait, wait, I haven't had a period in 12 years - does this mean all of my calories count?! Please, say it isn't so! How about the five days per month when I would've had my period? Calories don't count then, right?
Gerry Higgins 7 months ago
And the weight you put on will cause your depression the rest of the month.
#5
Roxy222uk 7 months ago
Seriously, if there was a plot line where I successfully jumped a shark I'd be more than delighted.
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ohjojo (you/your's) 7 months ago
wow those are both pretty old references. I wonder how many people will get them. respect. I got them
Crisi digan 7 months ago
Then all the sudden a plot twist that makes no sense changes the whole story with one person trying to change your life
Tucker Cahooter 7 months ago
I wish I had decent writers in my life. I feel like my life is written by Samuel Beckett. Nothing happens...twice.
#6
Feathered Dinosaur 7 months ago
Us folks With children do the same plus trying to bribe the mini persons to do them
Tom Nagel 7 months ago
My twin daughters just started mowing the lawn two weeks ago. My back is so grateful.
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Natalie Kelsey 7 months ago
People with kids are out here bribing both ourselves and our kids with treats to do our chores. So you're okay.
Some of Twitter's wizardry lies in its immediacy. When a breaking news event occurs, the users do not wait for finished analysis, instead, they riff on the moment with broken-witted one-liners, memes, and fragmented humor. These bursts of quick response summarize complicated events in human scale.
#7
Nannychachi 7 months ago (edited)
My husband and I were having an argument and I got kind of loud and started to cry and my orange cat jumped up on me with her front paws on my chest and started licking my face. I stopped arguing long enough to say, "Look at her licking my face! She's trying to comfort me!" And, then the argument was over. You just can't argue when your cat does that.
Phantom Phoenix 7 months ago
The cat declares herself to be on your side. He clearly loses that argument
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Gerry Higgins 7 months ago
This is so true. At the lowest times of my life it's my dog that helped me through it more than any human I know.
#8
ILoveMySon 7 months ago
I have learned wine and online shopping are not compatible with my bank account.
#9
Lily bloom 7 months ago
My 12yo daughter says boys/mens pants have deeper pockets so they can scratch their balls
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 7 months ago
I have to agree with Ahnjunwan - since when is sexism humorous?
Oskar vanZandt 7 months ago
I think a lot of self appointed "alpha males" carry a lot of ARROGANCE.
Gerry Higgins 7 months ago
We need pockets because we don't carry purses to store all our junk.
Whether it's a joke regarding a movie cliffhanger or an ironic remark on traffic detours, those immediate posts confirm our own feelings and ideas, making us feel connected to an international conversation. Twitter's limit on characters requires ingenuity. With a mere 280 characters to work with, users become professionals at cutting their comedy down to size and getting straight to the essence of what they must say.
#10
Silberwolf 7 months ago
The old cliché. Many who want to study psychology just want to treat themselves subconsciously.
Trillian 7 months ago
Only the first year. Then they learn about statistics.
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Rick Murray 7 months ago
I used to see psychologists as a child. I swear they're just people that went and sat on the other side of the desk and nobody said anything.
#11
Moonie Pinkslip 7 months ago
why on earth would you sleep in the same room, and worse, BED, as a snorer?!!
Load More Replies... Ashley Schriber 7 months ago
I mean, you're supposed to rotate your mattress every so often to prevent wear or sagging, so why not spare yourself the effort and just lie down the other way?
Melanie Filmer 7 months ago
Omg my hubby and all my siblings think this is weird when I do it! Glad it's not just a me thing
#12
Roxy222uk 7 months ago
Absolutely! When I was about 19/20 (back in the mid '80s) my dad took me into work with him so I could then walk into town and go shopping. He invited me to go to the cafe first and get some breakfast on him (back in the time of subsidised works cafes). My first surprise was that he didn't have to be instantly working at 9am, but he was higher management at this time and very good at his job, so I now understand this bit. The second surprise was a work colleague came over and said, in no other way can this be described except in a gossip-y voice, that X had actually got his wallet out in the bar the previous night. "Dear God" my dad replied "did bats fly out?" I sat that gobsmacked, having been told over and over again by TV, newspapers, etc that gossiping is a female trait. Yeah, men gossip as much as women, but they call it something else. Saying it how it is. Having a laugh. Banter. Whatever. It's the same basic substance whatever you call it.
ILoveMySon 7 months ago (edited)
My elderly male neighbor is a nice man but, admittedly, I feign physical issues when he won't stop gossiping. If he is talking about them, he talks about me. My girlfriends and I are apparently cut from a different cloth.
Nikole 7 months ago
The older men on my block are BY FAR the biggest gossips.
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Oskar vanZandt 7 months ago
Yup... It all depends on the subject matter. I've had to endure lots of sports-related verbal diarrhoea in my youthful days.
bob french 7 months ago
Of course we do...since forever. We leave messages in public bathrooms in case a friend is missing or late to the bar or game. We don't call it gossip. We call it talking or bragging. It's not smart but it it one of the things that make men what we are.
That limitation causes tweets to become little brain teasers: how do you express frustration with an over-complex coffee machine or pandemic-driven Zoom faux pas in as few words as possible? The result is a stream of crisp, snappy commentary that adds up to a shared diary of modern life.
#13
Michael Largey 7 months ago
Well, then you have to be willing to stick your date with the check.
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danacarroll006 7 months ago
He can take me on one dinner date, then I want to be sniped with a nice meal inside of me.
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 7 months ago
It'll be the other way around. A Weekend at Bernie's type situation.
Load More Replies... #14
Neil H 7 months ago
Have I been wrong for saying 'screenshat' all this time?
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Bec 7 months ago (edited)
I have a doctorate and when I do something dumb, I think, yep, Dr. Dumba$$
Megalodon Meg 7 months ago (edited)
First of all, hell yeah Doc! Second, we're all entitled to and expected to sometimes make mistakes regardless of our education or intelligence. I know I'm intelligent and yet the other day I put two glass drink bottles on my backseat and they absolutely flew off and smashed each other to bits.
Load More Replies... #15
Tamra 7 months ago
Yeah, I think they somehow meant it as a compliment, I guess, but...meh. I can think of better ways of complimenting strong women than equating them with a tough man.
Load More Replies... Relatability also emanates from the platform's depth of voices. You can scroll from the tech engineer's complaint about software updates to the parent's middle-of-the-night story of diaper blowouts, and nod in understanding at both. Experts and celebrities and activists and regular folks coexist in the same streams. Democratization occurs so anyone, anywhere, can strike upon the exact words or images that resonate through culture and background.
#16
April Pickett 7 months ago
Don't. Leave their tantrums and sulks to them. They'll either learn or not. You're not dating a 3-year-old.
#17
Auntriarch 7 months ago
Don't do that on a cellular blanket, you will end up with a waffle pattern face and everyone will know.
#18
Joanne Mendonza-Earle 7 months ago
OMG when my husband gets up b/f me it means I'm subjected to the TV, or he's watching Reels on FB or both. I need at least 30-45 minutes of quiet in the morning.
Silberwolf 7 months ago
Absolutely! Unless someone has a medical emergency or something is on fire I don't want to hear it in the 1-2 hours after waking up.
Rick Murray 7 months ago
Until I've had three mugs of sweet tea, and time for it to percolate up to my brain, I'm barely distinguishable from a Romero style zombie.
Memes and GIFs amplify that feeling of shared experience. The on-point response GIF, "this is fine" dog in a burning building or Kermit sipping tea, is able to capture an emotional tone where no paragraph ever could. Because these images move so easily from one person to another, they are community shorthand for all the ills of the office or relationship quirks. Finding the right GIF is like finding the friend who gets your joke without having to define it.
#19
Philly Bob 7 months ago
Wishing the wife would tell me to "go lay down" and tell the dog to help with the chores.
#20
#21
ElfVibratorGlitter 7 months ago
Yes. Fortunately my manager is awesome and she says works always gonna be here, so what you need to do. Thursday I needed to take a 4 hour nap. So I did.
MotorcycleDoggo 7 months ago
You're telling then you'll be taking time off. You're only 'requesting' that they assign your paid time off to it.
Celtic Pirate Queen 7 months ago
I was a self employed bookkeeper for a number of years. I had to explain, repeatedly to one company owner, that he was NOT my boss - he was my client. When I let him know that I would be unavailable the following Thursday & Friday, he looked confused. He said he didn't remember me requesting time off. I told him I was not requesting anything, I was informing him I would be unavailable. You're the client, remember?
Richienotsorich 7 months ago
Is this just an American thing? Do people in the UK or Australia for instance regularly get their leave cancelled?
Marianne 7 months ago
Where I come from (Germany), we talk about our leave in our team to see if ther will be problematic overlaps. And if there aren't, you just type your request in your tool and it will be given.
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Roxy222uk 7 months ago
When you're older and have had to be involved with scheduling you will understand why 'just' having a day off really isn't a 'just' for that person.
Earonn - 7 months ago
It's the company's job to create enough cover. If that person has an accident on their way to work, would the company crumble and fall apart? No? Then a day off isn't a problem, too.
Load More Replies... Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 7 months ago
I bet you moan when you have to pick up the slack when your colleagues are off sick.
True, speed and brevity cost Twitter. Nuance is lost within character limits, and rash responses feed misunderstanding. But it's that very unpolished, unvarnished edge which makes the content so immediate and authentic. In an age of feed-curation, where every tweet is checked and double-checked before sending, the muddle typo, the off-kilter metaphor, or the late-night rant serves as an immediate reminder that there are real human beings behind every post.
#22
megabeth 7 months ago (edited)
Absolutely! You cannot break a pinky promise. BUT for it to be truly serious you have to hook pinkies kiss your thumb, they kiss theirs and kinda twist tips of kissed thumbs together as you release pinkies. Best I can explain it. Pinky swear sealed w a kiss I suppose. You're a giant pos if you go back on that kinda pinkie swear.
Scott Rackley 7 months ago
That's odd. I was told breaking pinky promise means your d**k falls off.
Load More Replies... #23
Wondering Alice 7 months ago
There are free screen filters. I personally like blue
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Rick Murray 7 months ago
Yup. Scrolling this stuff in the dead of night when you're supposed to be asleep *hurts* the eyeballs. Luckily my ancient Samsung has a special keypress to invert the display - power + vol up, I found it by accident when taking a screenshot (power + vol down).
InfamousBerry34 7 months ago
I use that sometimes! Only problem is it inverts the pictures too, which can be scary in the middle of the night!
Load More Replies... #24
Roxy222uk 7 months ago
Hot bath, great book, cheese and pickle (British meaning of pickle, not American meaning) sandwich, and hot cup of tea. BTW, do Americans have the equivalent of what Brits traditionally call pickle? If not, my should weeps for them.
Auntriarch 7 months ago
My American friend referred to Branston pickle as chutney. Just the once.
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Flawed as it is, Twitter, and the social media universe at large, thrives on our shared humanity. It captures every little irritation, every burst of happiness, and every passing thought and makes it an opportunity to connect. And in the passing waves of recognition and LOLs showered in return, we find comfort, laughter, and the comforting sense that, however chaotic life gets, we're all having the same experience.
#25
#26
SchadenFreudian Psychology 7 months ago
They aren’t always picking someone they like. That’s how.
Phantom Phoenix 7 months ago
The kind of people who just have to have a someone - then they wonder why they're always with an arsəhōle...
Load More Replies... Silberwolf 7 months ago (edited)
Never understood that either. It takes me at least a few months to really(!) get to know someone. Edit: Also I don't understand how someone can unironically say they have 20/30/100 friends. How do you find the time to take care of all those friendships??
April Pickett 7 months ago
They want a man, any man will do as long as he looks good, dresses well, and takes care of himself (showers every day, cleans between his toes, brushes his teeth, and wears antiperspirant). Oh, he must pay for the night out, and likes to socialize.
weatherwitch 7 months ago
I think the OP needs to consider if they're Asexual or Aromantic 🏳️🌈 My relationships are twenty years apart and never got beyond 18 months. I'm so happy by myself ❤️
#27
#28
#29
The Majestic Opossum 7 months ago
I sometimes feel like a character in all of those movies, simultaneously.
#30
#31
Rick Murray 7 months ago
This morning I had a bad and quite painful allergic/intolerance reaction to something that I ate. Shall I continue? 😉
Gerry Higgins 7 months ago
I'm lactose intolerant and you don't want to know what comes out of me
ElfVibratorGlitter 7 months ago (edited)
I was once told by a coworker that I was alphabet soup, OCD, AHDH, and TMI. To be fair I do not have OCD.
Devin Schmitt 7 months ago
At least you don't have the more serious form of OCD, "CDO". Exactly like OCD, except the letters are in the correct order, AS THEY SHOULD BE.
Load More Replies... Silberwolf 7 months ago (edited)
I ate pizza baguettes for dinner. One fell out of the oven onto the floor while I tried to put it on a plate. That was a bit annoying. But they were tasty.
#32
#33
David Paterson 7 months ago
That's because telling a girlfriend that she's upset will result in an ambulance drive to hospital emergency.
Megalodon Meg 7 months ago
Maybe don't tell women what they're feeling and f*****g ask them like a f*****g adult?
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#34
Gerry Higgins 7 months ago
Truth. but serious people really get upset by us silly people. They just don't get it.
#35
setsuriseikou 7 months ago
Hey, I'm thrilled to find out someone remembers something personal about me! Makes me feel seen and valued
#36
#37
Gerry Higgins 7 months ago
I see dogs and I'm "ooooo! Aren't you a good boy/girl" but I see people and I'm "don't make eye contact"
#38
Luke Branwen 7 months ago
Maybe a lil melodramatic but ultimately true. IMO a huge part of world's unhappiness exists because people settle for mediocrity way too easily.
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#39
Auntriarch 7 months ago
For the record, "sausages", "what have we got" and "whatever you like" are all wrong answers.
#41
Robert Beveridge 7 months ago
In which cases it's usually rather acidic and not terribly tasty. But often necessary if you want to eventually feel better.
jasper 7 months ago
I hate that people want to talk like that. It be like super annoying.
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#43
The Majestic Opossum 7 months ago
And if the coñdom breaks, you might wake up a... I'll see myself out.
#44
#45
#46
ElfVibratorGlitter 7 months ago
Anyone else put a straw into the bucket of popcorn and then pour the "butter" down the straw to make sure there's grease all throughout the popcorn?
Mark Savoie 7 months ago
Well, I'm Canadian and I agree with OP's sentiment.
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#47
G A 7 months ago
Oh I'm not bothered-you choose.....followed by a 2 day sulk because you chose....poorly.
April Pickett 7 months ago
That's according to him. You chose, and were happy with what you chose. Let him sulk, maybe next time he'll offer choices. My thought is you chose the Barbie movie.
Load More Replies... Cydney Golden 7 months ago
When someone says that I just automatically pick what I want without regard to what would work for them. No time for passive aggressive s**t.
#48
#49
Auntriarch 7 months ago
That'll be my mother, 45 minutes of woe, followed by "anyway it doesn't really matter and I don't want you to worry".
#50
Atom Bohr 7 months ago
Men have hormones, but please don't imagine for a single second that you have any idea what hormonal mood swings can be like
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#55
Panda McPandaface 7 months ago (edited)
Maybe in that universe you got charged with a s s a u l t.
#57
#58
Lesley Relph 7 months ago
Or that just goes on for the rest of your life.
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Lowrider 56 7 months ago
After reading about the things some women go thru during their period I think, thank god I'm not a woman! You all are the tough!
#60
Robert Millar 7 months ago
Tipsy when you're sitting talking, three sheets to the wind walking home. (together.)
#63
Victor Botha 7 months ago
How is this creepy? You suddenly realise that the brat you always fought with, has just seemingly overnight blossomed into a swan from being an ugly duckling. I think you're reading all the wrong things into this statement Hugh and Julia.
Captain Awesome 7 months ago
You know, it is actually possible to think someone is beautiful and not want to s**g them…
#65
#66
#67
Wondering Alice 7 months ago
Why is this a problem? It could have been a really long drive. If I pick my husband up from the airport I'd expect him to drive back unless the flight had been hard. If he picked me up, he would like me to drive for a while too.
#69
Huddo's sister 7 months ago
I wouldn't say I'm gorgeous, but I do get unexplained bruises. My mum and sister are the same, just bruise easily, and often get distracted/have bad spatial awareness, hen forget it happening.
ElfVibratorGlitter 7 months ago
Not gorgeous, nor a girl, but I do have bruises in a variety of colours on my leg. No clue what they're from.
#70
Rebecca O’Donnell 7 months ago
Or good, reliable ones that put up with you day in and day out and still love you.
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#72
#73
#77
ElfVibratorGlitter 7 months ago
I do own a lot of pajama pants from when I was in high school, but they're in my "mending box". Which is basically where I put clothes that need mending and I pretend that I'm going to do that...some...day...
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Ahnjunwan 7 months ago
Blessed the internet with their humor? Not so much, a lot of men bad, the usual menthal health whining. Overall not very funny
Auntriarch 7 months ago
Situation normal then? Panda comments as usual, well up to scratch.
Load More Replies... Rick Murray 7 months ago
Hmm, what's with the notification thingy saying "Empty Empty World" until you've refreshed the page a half dozen times? 🤷🏻♀️
Rick Murray 7 months ago
Now it's just not saying anything other than Empty Empty World, and even more amusingly tapping the little settings cogwheel shows no options whatsoever. 🤔 Need to give the admin some caffeine, I think...
Load More Replies... Ahnjunwan 7 months ago
Blessed the internet with their humor? Not so much, a lot of men bad, the usual menthal health whining. Overall not very funny
Auntriarch 7 months ago
Situation normal then? Panda comments as usual, well up to scratch.
Load More Replies... Rick Murray 7 months ago
Hmm, what's with the notification thingy saying "Empty Empty World" until you've refreshed the page a half dozen times? 🤷🏻♀️
Rick Murray 7 months ago
Now it's just not saying anything other than Empty Empty World, and even more amusingly tapping the little settings cogwheel shows no options whatsoever. 🤔 Need to give the admin some caffeine, I think...
Load More Replies... You May Like 79 Funny Random Memes That Are Somehow Exactly What You Needed Today 50 Of The Funniest Signs Ever Spotted In The Wild (New Pics) 135 Dark Jokes That'll Make You Feel Guilty For Laughing
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