We at Bored Panda love corny dad jokes as much as absurd stock photos, so we were thrilled when we discovered an online community that combines the two.
It’s called r/YouDontSurf, and the subreddit has 378k members. Members constantly add funny subtitles to pictures they find on websites like Shutterstock or 123RF, and the combinations they create are so bad that they’re actually kind of good.
From a guy sitting in front of a river, watching a stream, to parents who can't stand their annoying kids, continue scrolling, and check out some of this subreddit's most popular posts.
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Copy That
Look up Loaded weapon 1, it's basically a movie based on little jokes like this and a lot of satire of 80s cop movies.
Load More Replies..."He's dancing around with his penis exposed!" "Roger that." "He's not my type."
Dispatch: Ok, so we have an SOB in progress, all units be advised...
wowowowow. I had to look at this 5 times to see the meaning of this Xp.
The Perfect Date
The most confusing thing is that with DD/MM/YYYY and MM/DD/YYYY someone from a different area will never be sure about a date when 1<=DD<=12. The order of unit size is the logical approach, everything else is religion or some overly exaggarated patriotism. (Disclaimer: I'm hungarian and we use YYYY/MM/DD and I'm a software engineer and handling date-time formats is and was always a pain in the neck)
In doing genealogy I was taught to write 6 Sep 2021. No confusion that way.
Load More Replies...Yes, using only 3 numbers for the year makes it really confusing!
Load More Replies...Only safe way is 6SEP21 or 06SEP21. Doesn't matter when - it's always September 6th.
Yessss... I worked in programming all my life, insurance and manufacturing. We constantly had to include tests for incoming data to figure out if the dates were inside-out. But to keep records, then you need y/m/d. Especially at Y2K - lots of work that year, you bet!
Load More Replies...Month, day, year makes sense because that's how you would say it if you were saying it verbally.
Actually the only correct format is YYYY/MM/DD, as it then fits with HH:mm in decreasing order of unit size and will sort in date order when sorted alphanumerically - this is why I use it in filenames, as the latest version of anything is always at the bottom e.g. File_20210906.docx
Load More Replies...Stock photographers specialize not just in imagery, but in sentiment prediction: they anticipate people's needs.
One of these photographers is Heather Barnes. She bought her first DSLR in 2014 and immediately started shooting flowers and portraits. "When I moved to Austin, and didn't know anyone, I took an online food photography course and started photographing everything I was baking," she told Bored Panda.
"I fell in love with it and while I was building my website I used Unsplash to see how my portfolio would appear on a future website that I would create. I ended up leaving them up on Unsplash, and it's created a lot of opportunities for my photography business."
Boomers
Yes. Find more ways to insult elders. The cheeky buggers.
Load More Replies...I see this more as being a condescending b******e, than an actual dad joke. Dad jokes are funny and witty. This just comes off as rude and saying get with the times old lady. Not really funny to me.
I had to send in a fax for a medical thing and I ended up having to go to Staples to do it and it cost me like 15$ because it was a bunch of pages and long distance. Not impressed.
What sucks is I was talking to a Staples manager I know, they said the cost of the faxes barely cover the cost of the landline
Load More Replies...If only. Working at a hospital has taught be how behind the times medical and government operations are
A medical center erroneously sent the medical records for one of their patients. 100 pages and absolutely every detail about him. No one should fax sensitive information; verify an email address and add as an attachment.
Load More Replies...Most US govt offices still require people to physically mail paperwork in or fax them. It's slightly embarrassing they still heavily rely on 60 yo tech that often uses the crumbling landline infrastructure. The phone companies here have already said they won't repair or update landlines once they go down because it's dead tech.
What A Bastard
I saw this thing it was Dad:son your adopted/Son:ok and?/Dad:pack your things and move out now/Son:your not my dad
I used to tell my kids that they would get new parents when they turned seven. "Oooo, it's almost your birthday! You're turning seven? Cool, you will get your new parents!" Luckily they could always tell I was kidding them...
Barnes explained that stock images are generic photos created without a specific idea in mind that anyone can license for creative use.
"They are typically shot to appeal to many different people, with the intention of being able to use them on many platforms. When I photograph stock images, I think, 'What type of article could these be licensed for and what can I avoid that could restrict its use?'"
Natural Causes
Incorrect, because of my thesis of 100% trustable doctors and scientists i conclude that Earth is square, stationary, and autistic. (give me 25 cents so i can show you the article that will knock the "neurotypical globe" theory out)
Uh Oh
This reminds me of that one joke on the Telly form the show Ant farm
Fired
But as you can see from our list, stock images can climb to impressive heights of silliness if you take them at face value.
"I think there are a lot of photographers uploading as many photos as possible to see what sticks," Heather Barnes, who also showcases her work on Instagram, added. "It doesn't cost anything to upload more, and who knows what will go viral these days. While everyone is trying to stand out on social media, a weird, scroll-stopping image isn't a bad thing. I say, bring on the absurd!"
Fish Market
I'll need another plastic bag to barf into after that comment..... We can only wish it were a joke : /
Honesty Is The Best Policy
In the Netherlands: You're hired, we like people who don't beat around the bush and aren't afraid to speak their mind.
I’m moving to the Netherlands if I can say that to my boss
Load More Replies...She’s gone to an interview to get a job so should care whether they will hire her or not. She would care what they think, making her dishonest???
Load More Replies...Live Stream
And she definitely has a point. Take Shutterstock for example. It launched in 2003 and has grown steadily since then, bolstered by the explosion of web publishing. On the Internet, there is always text in need of decoration. The site offers a library of over 300 million images, with 200,000 more added every day.
As its own kind of inside-out media organization, Shutterstock has developed a market-prediction strategy but it does that without any dirty algorithms. Instead, according to Scott Braut, the company's former VP of content, it provides its contributors with tools like keyword trends and popular searches so they "can find out what people are looking for and when."
This Is Golden
Sounds like he's been reading too many of Elon Musk's tweets about the doge
Menu
And you wonder why her tips are so big. It's when you order the sides
Grammar Lesson
Dude on the bottom is serving a prison sentence. Wants to know if his friend can finish that "sentence" for him
Load More Replies...And?
One thing that unites stock images, said Jason Winter, a Virginia-based teacher, web designer, and part-time Shutterstocker, is the "unique perspective" presented in the composition of the photos.
Winter explained that when shooting a stock photo, you want to think not just about capturing an image, but also about creating a product that will visually pop, particularly against the white backdrop of a website.
By "twisting a photo just a bit and making it appear three-dimensional," for example, ensuring that your shot contains a well-defined foreground and background, you can create an image that will embody a stock photo's other-worldly appeal.
Hearing Problems
Translation- Guy 1 “It’s windy today!” What Guy 2 heard: “It’s Wednesday today”. Guy 2 says “No, It’s Thursday!” What Guy 3 heard “No, I’m thirsty!” Sorry I just had to do it.
Load More Replies...Bart is young with hair that is spiky on top. Lisa is smart also with spiky hair.
I didn’t get it at first either, so don’t downvote it. The picture proves the man has hearing issues when he mishears “symptoms” for “Simpsons”.
Load More Replies...Half Baked
Literally Cancer
"What's the diagnosis, doctor?" "What's your name?" "Melania" "It's Melaniaitis Letalis and we haven't a cure for it yet."
If she was a Tauaus, he would have referred her to a Ford dealership
Smart, Alec
Great, Now u want to go to a restaurant and do this. 🙄
However, there's also the cultural sensibility of the stock photo. Life, as told through the stock image, is usually beautified and sanitized and occasionally dominated by camisole-clad ladies holding things.
It is unapologetic because it knows that it has its own particular style. One that, meme-like, is incredibly easy to replicate.
Any Doctor Here?
I know another version of it: "is there any doctor here ?" "yes I'm a doctor ,what's going on ?" "A heart attack" "I'm a doctor in philosophy" "He is going to die" "We are all going to die" missing 2 panels
Seriously, though, Phds shouldn't call themselves doctors. Unless you can fix what ails me, you ain't no doctor to me.
Uh, actually - PhDs are the original Drs. 'Dr' is only a courtesy title for medical practitioners, since they haven't actually done a doctorate and had it passed, which is what makes you a doctor.
Load More Replies......which would have completely ignored the perfect setup for an alphabet joke.
Load More Replies...Lesson Learned
At least you could joke at that moment. I wish I had that optimism
Getting Back To Nature
You herd is such a baaad joke. (ik im not making any sense just roll with it)
Job Interview
-"What do we want" -"Time travel!" -"When do we want it? -"It doesn't matter!"
This joke is what happens when u combine Joseph Joestar, Marty Mcfly and Dr.Who
In the early-to-mid 1900s, stock photography images were basically leftovers from commercial assignments, usually referred to as 'outtakes' or 'seconds.' Stock image libraries and agencies cataloged the images and sold them for purchase and republication in ads, books, annual reports, and the like.
As time passed, however, customers realized they could save considerable time and money by using stock images instead of hiring a photographer for an assignment.
Justice Served
"I almost became a cop too, officer." "What happened?" "My IQ was too high."
This work with almost all professions
Load More Replies...Most modern cars tell you, although it's a stupid question because either you know it's put and want to fix it when you can, or you don't know else you would have fixed it ..surely?
Cop shoots white man for burned out taillight, details @ 11 on channel 5
Butthurt
Dinner Date
Alternate ending: woman responds with "Hi full! I'm: Y O U ' R E F U T U R E W I F E Y" And then they went on honeymoon after their wedding which also happened after their date Thank you for coming to my TED talk
Load More Replies...Splitter
As Shutterstocker Emily Goodwin said, now it's not necessarily the traditionally "pretty" stuff that sells well on the site.
No, it's often the utilitarian content (images that capture the banalities and absurdities of everyday life) that proves to be popular.
Excellent Delivery
His expression males me think that it was him who prints out millions of spam letters every day, just so his enemy: Mark the mailman develops crippling back pain 😮
A mailman doesn’t develop anything. He envelops it
Load More Replies...Delivering The Baby
Waiting For The Bus
For any confused non-natives, aight isn't a word. It should be 'alright'.
Actually aight has become such popular slang it was added to the online dictionary.
Load More Replies...He has no control over the bus, it won’t come faster because she wants it, thus the sarcastic answer.
Load More Replies...Devils Spawn
Independence Day
Second panel: The girl on the left just realised their parents will leave them alone now.
Reservations
Yes, we are from America, and we still have reservations, although the Natives used to have much more land.
Ooh, that's a good one! And this coming from a person who has family living on reservations.
Load More Replies...Science Is Just Theories
Yes. He had a terrible bodily reaction when he got vaccinated and our mom doesn't want to take chances with us.
Communication Breakdown
Can I give you both an up and a down vote for that?
Load More Replies...Don't Forget The Most Important Thing Before Taking A Dump
This happened to a friend of mine who was too drunk to remember lowering his pants before sitting down on the toilet
Yeah millennials are very well known of pooping in their pants! Wtf??
Load More Replies...Dogs
Jasmine cares about animals, that's her only crime.
Load More Replies...Very random info: While I was pregnant with my boy, a nurse which looked exactly like the woman in the stock photo (clothes, hair) with the name Jasmine (had a name tag) told me I was getting a little too heavy while she took my weight. I am the dog in this scenario! Without the sass.
I *just* noticed the decimal point. I thought that was a deceptively heavy doggo.
Close One
The worse is : my (whatever family member) just died. Oooh my condolences. When was that ? Now, I just called the paramedics, I'm waiting for them while I post this.
Load More Replies...Painful Conversations
Oh No
Laughter Orb
Missdiagnosis
Breakup
Oh No
He's Electrosexual
War Heroes
I thought D day was the honeymoon. ..Leave the door open for me.
Load More Replies...Touching Novels
You Wouldn't Download A File
if i photocopy the mona lisa they're not gonna send the french police after me
Load More Replies...Rub It In, Already
He's In For A Surprise
He must have gotten suspicious when the test showed positive for a baby bear.
I see you croaking your fingers! Just wait till he finds out! Gonna be bloody mad!
Motivation
Please No!
Yup, when I run out of my money, I'm stepping off this mortal coil.
Load More Replies...Game Night Ruined
2018 Tax Season Summed Up
Aren't those two the couple with the 'cheating' stories/memes? 505z7l1-61...26101a.jpg
They've done so many different ones, the Daily Mail uses them loads.
Load More Replies...Can't Ruin That Credit Score
Here 100 bucks, now go out of my life. So mom saves with food and university, since raising a kid is frikking expensive.
Honey Is Sweet As Honey
Ewwww why would you take this image in. The first place?!!
Last Time, Ashley
Ungrateful Guest
Reminds me of a joke - Evangelical minister checking in to the hotel "I trust the porn channel in my room has been switched to disabled'". Hotel clerk " No you sick fu'*k it's just the regular stuff!"
Quit Your Bulls***ting
I recommend this cheerful article full of feel good memes to everyone 😁, it cured my back pain - maybe ot can cure yours too 😅
Since we're on the topic of dad jokes, I have to brag. The other day my dad texted me saying he was bored and the opportunity was just too good. "Hi Bored I'm (my name)"
Like anyone would buy these photos at the price they're selling at! The watermarks aren't the point. The humor is. And no, it's not stealing if they still have the water mark. Also, just so you're clear, this is a reddit post not a BP one. So don't diss BP.
Load More Replies...I recommend this cheerful article full of feel good memes to everyone 😁, it cured my back pain - maybe ot can cure yours too 😅
Since we're on the topic of dad jokes, I have to brag. The other day my dad texted me saying he was bored and the opportunity was just too good. "Hi Bored I'm (my name)"
Like anyone would buy these photos at the price they're selling at! The watermarks aren't the point. The humor is. And no, it's not stealing if they still have the water mark. Also, just so you're clear, this is a reddit post not a BP one. So don't diss BP.
Load More Replies...
