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Let’s admit it — we all love dad jokes. It’s okay, you can go ahead and say it, I’ll keep your secret safe. We often assume that dad humor solely consists of corny jokes and puns, but in reality, fathers frequently say really funny and witty things that make us genuinely laugh. Also, even the corniest of jokes can be quite enjoyable, and you know it. 

Some fathers who really can’t imagine their life without humor took it to Twitter, turning dad humor into a whole category of Twitter jokes. These men may be from different parts of the world, work in different professions, and have different views on life, but one thing that unites them all apart from being fathers is that they have some really funny dad jokes up their sleeve. In fact, there are so many of them, they could even start a competition for the best dad jokes of the day. 

For this article, we collected some of the best dad jokes you can find on Twitter. Share them with your friends regardless of their parental status to have a good laugh. Do you know other Twitter dad jokes? We are eager to see them in our comment section.

#5

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Sara Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

AND, that it also describes a certain kind of person. That could REALLY mess up the kids...!

#8

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simoncholland Report

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Manic Mama
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My standing rule was that anyone who gave my kids musical instruments were the same people at whose houses the instrument would be played at. Youngest is now 15, and so far, zero musical instruments.

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#15

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Seamus Crumley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

22 years ago, on the birth of our first son, the midwife said to my wife, "Don't be squeezing his (me) hand so tight. - You'll hurt him." I have cursed that midwife since then. Equating a sore hand to giving birth has caused me pain for 22 years. I couldn't believe it when she said it. Even my wife stopped srceaming, then turned to give me a look I will never forget.

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#16

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RodLacroix Report

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Seamus Crumley
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My children and wife wake up each day and immedieately go to the window to look for an Amazon van. When it arrives, I immediately check my bank account online. I think I'll cancel my internet broadband subscription.

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#18

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Seamus Crumley
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh to have jaws that big. Bringing up my children would have been a breeze. I'd be close to biting sometimes though.

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#19

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XplodingUnicorn Report

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Anime dude101
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What they want to say, "yeah genius, but what words b!tch" vs what they actually say "what words, honey"

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#22

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mcdadstuff Report

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Huddo's sister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad could never get me to watch footy on tv. One time he did convince me to come to a game (the whole family went) but I spent the whole time reading so he realised it was a waste of money!

#23

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sturmwesen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why I don't want colleagues with sick kids at my desk. Keep your germs buddy, I can talk to you while you stand in the door.

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#30

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daddydoubts Report

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Seamus Crumley
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nothing like opening doors and strange noises coming the from the kitchen to make you put your head under the blankets.

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#37

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dadmann_walking Report

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Sara Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow! Having flashbacks to the TP incident with Trump and AF1. Did NO ONE think to tell him before he left the house?!

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#38

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dadmann_walking Report

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Margaret H
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I swear teenagers are abducted by aliens and replaced with machines designed to test a parent's sanity. Eventually, they are allowed to return home, changed but bearable.

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#39

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Seamus Crumley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's not revenge. Wait till she moves into her first home, then visit - clear her fridge of food, put your feet up on the sofa and watch one hour of the teletubbies. Make a mess in the bedrooms and have a tantrum when she complains. That's revenge.

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#43

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Seamus Crumley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe Santa sent a christmas letter this year saying if it was possible to forget milk and instead put out some of that brown liquid in a bottle daddy drinks from.

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#46

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SvnSxty Report

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Lakota Wolf
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"The book “G” is for Growing" cites a producer of Sesame Street who refers to Big Bird as a canary. In the series 11 episode, "Mister Rogers Talks about Competition" of the show, Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, Big Bird was asked by King Friday XIII if he was related to the cassowary; he replied, "I'm actually a Golden Condor." On the January 23, 1976 episode of Hollywood Squares, Big Bird was asked what kind of bird he is and said he was a lark, causing host Peter Marshall to crack up. In the film Don't Eat the Pictures, Osiris calls Big Bird an ibis. Zoologist Mike Dickison suggested in his popular Pechakucha talk that Big Bird represents a unique species that evolved from the whooping crane. For decades, Oscar the Grouch has been calling Big Bird a turkey, more as an insult rather than a reference to his species. Big Bird is always described as being flightless."

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#56

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CrockettForReal Report

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Seamus Crumley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there. My son said the same to one of his enemies. His dad is six feet 10 inches and a perfectly toned six pack. I'm five an a half feet, and have one ab. They live down the street. I'm afraid to leave my house.

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#62

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Seamus Crumley
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Worse - driving for several miles in the dark wondering why passing cars are flashing their lights at you, then realising you forgot to turn your own headlights on.

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#65

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Seamus Crumley
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mistakingly took my toddler to a 21st instead of his friends party, and quickly realised I am not fit to be a dad. Especially since I stayed for a few beers.

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#71

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HomeWithPeanut Report

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ОльхаКинг(AlderKing)
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my dads nickname for me was “ маленький идиот” and would refer to me as this every time i would do something he didn’t like. claiming to brush my teeth when i didn’t was his least favorite offense

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#77

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threetimedaddy Report

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Trophy Husband
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think teachers just assume all kids are lying if they don't bring evidence. My kids have told their teachers I don't feed them, their brother killed their dreams, they aren't allowed to go to the doctor (that one was because she is a hypochondriac and I couldn't make the appointment the same day that she got a bruise).

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#79

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Seamus Crumley
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to play hide and seek. Was great - I'd tell them to count one thousand. I'd go outside and sit, and laugh at how many times they went back to 1.