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If you’re looking for a Twitter account that’s guaranteed to make you smile, then Shut Up, Mike is the one you need to follow.

The guy behind it is Mike Ginn, a comedy writer who lives in Los Angeles. He works for Comedy Central’s @midnight, and it’s easy to see why when you read his sometimes weird, sometimes quirky, but always hilarious tweets.

Check out some of our favorites below, and don’t forget to vote for the best!

More info: Twitter (h/t)

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    how i justify eating a box of chocolates

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    #13

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    Flora Polvado
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Zootopia," the DMV scene. I forgot how to breath, I laughed so hard

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    Ben Lavalleur
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He could pick some great voices depending on his mood. Darth Vader, Morgan Freeman or Gomer Pyle.

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    Master Markus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, "football" is a very generic term, but I've always thought it was an odd name for American Football since it has very little foot-to-ball action.

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    #22

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    John L
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That should cause a scene. Unfortunately, you won't be around to enjoy your masterpiece. lol

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    Venomous Sloth
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    John L, I think you should take Eeyore's advice

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    Jenna Bois
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Moist makes me think of cake, and cake is wonderful.

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    #28

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    Jesus Wäre
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Welcome to the real world Mike we have cookies.

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    Sweep the Leg
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same for me with Saved by the Bell. Thought I'd have perfect skin, my friends would all be models, and I'd be one of the 5 most popular people in a school of 25 students.

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    Master Markus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually, it was also seven of every clean animal. I don't know why seven, because that significantly more than 2 and also uneven but it's the Bible, it doesn't make sense.

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    Claire
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol like Catherine Windsor Mountbatten

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    BoredBunny
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Dude, just shut up! I don't need to know about Canadia, or whatever it's called! I'm just saying I think it's cold!

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    troufaki13
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hamster mom: That's ok, I already have 86 and a dozen more are on the way *pats belly*

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    Ashley Doherty
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    John L, is this the only site you troll? I'm just curious.

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    Blind Oracle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And if you are a ducky, you are damned cute already

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    Jenni Ester
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lmao this is me all the time around new people

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i do feel like that sometimes so i buy stuff i don't need btw if anyone needs napkin rings, towels and coasters i got you

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    Victor Bud
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Trying hard to imagine what a stoked owl looks like. Those big brown eyes...

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    Eliza
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Fabulous back board, just boasting about all my deluded self confidence :D

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    Hyodo widger
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    man, You really caught it from its tail

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    troufaki13
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or when they go to this retired police officer to ask him if he remembers a case from 1967 and of course he remembers every little detail! I can't even remember what I ate yesterday!! pffff

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    Šimon Špaček
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Public: Stop killing of innocent people. GOV: OK, lets ban guns. Public: NO WE ARE FREE TO PROTECT US!!! GOV: OK, how about this. There is already a number on each gun. How about we would store samples from each sold gun. When somebody will be killed, in seconds police will know which gun it was and who is the owner? Public: WHAT??? No way man, no way. You would track us down and you would take our guns. GOV: How? Public: We don't know you would find a way

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    Blind Oracle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We probably make astronauts sad too

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    troufaki13
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For a moment I read "the guy's feces" and I was like WTF???

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    Chelsea
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know this feel. Don't ask.

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    Blind Oracle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know, a Roomba with a cat on it might get his attention

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    Blind Oracle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hmmm, can't wait until the next installment of this trilogy comes out

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    Master Markus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom does that. Drives me crazy.

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    Cayman
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Humm... Keep staying up watching YouTube and going on BoredPanda until 5 am then go to sleep and wake up at 5:30 am with your alarm clock annoying the heck out of you because 8 pm you put the clock on the other side of the room so you'd have to get of bed and then you're crazy tired all day and then at night your like "I'm not tired." and you do the whole thing again? That's my strategy.*sigh*

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    Marioara Popescu
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It looks more like a penis than a hat.

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    Blind Oracle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can we do this at all funerals? Maybe they'll stop having them

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    Blind Oracle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A stranger with a lot of tattoos. Can't even whimper in front of them.

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    Šimon Špaček
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just add 'Y not' on end of it as Douglas Adams suggested. Because it is end of every scientific argument he ever had.

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    Daniel Sipes
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Hate to break it to ya, but sometimes, girls don't want the attention of social media

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    guess
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    holy c**p that's next level stuff XD

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of "legs the hooker toy" from the Toy Story franchise.

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    Blind Oracle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No no no, you're doing it all wrong!

    #109

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn! This post deserves a comment that looked better in my head than when written.

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's showing the world that side-kicks are individuals too! With their own personalities!

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    Blind Oracle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then the weasel totally did it with Billy Graham

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    Janice Foster
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't believe they ever thought asking "Am I sexual?" would be a good idea - it's so cringey!!

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    Ayra
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you suddenly realise he must be from Germany (or at least his ham) (that's ham from the "Schwarzwald" = black forest Screenshot...b0b063.jpg Screenshot_9-5908d23b0b063.jpg

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    Blind Oracle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mommy said it would blend in with all the other balloons

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    Blind Oracle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who the hell is this stranger in my bathroom?

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    Alwin Langevoort
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Simba had sex with his half-sister while Timon and pumba sang about them..

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I ALWAYS love looking out the plane window!

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    Janice Foster
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG, Domino's in Australia spend ages advertising how they were going to release "a game changer." Then they launched a square pizza.

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Done! It's a murder suicide pact!

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    Valentine Leokin
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hear there was a guy who died doing so to an alligator...

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    Asher Smith
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I read a book and talk about it like it's an achievement why can't I do the same for a show? Oh right.. wasn't bored watching the show...

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    JimmyJames Doyle
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't forget those Caramello Bars of his. Brilliant, those!

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    Hannah The Bear
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait that's in the book? I'm going to check right now

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That friend would usually be me .... soooo.... yeah.

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hmmm... well, I've been getting it all wrong all these years then!

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lolling so hard at this!

    #153

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    Venomous Sloth
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uhhhh, u mean tortoises? (I have a feeling that I'll realize how dumb I am being tommorrow)

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    Deana
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a DARE shirt that I have worn ironically for years!

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    Master Markus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't get it. Especially since nobody liked / likes Hillary but I hear a lot of people liking the dragon girl from Game of Thrones.

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    Master Markus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except Ricky Gervais is a lot funnier than Seth MacFarlane.

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    Master Markus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nazi-anime guys? What? Like... Rudol Von Stroheim?

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