“Sarcasm Only”: 50 Hilariously Unhinged Memes That May Tickle Your Funny Bone (New Pics)
If you have ever watched a sitcom called Friends, you should be well aware of a character named Chandler Bing, who is crowned to be a king of sarcasm. By being not only sarcastic but brutally honest as well, he has gained the audience’s love and appreciation. However, this post is not going to be about his witty humor, but more about sarcasm itself.
Usually, sarcasm comes with a spice of honesty, and most of the time it can be too harsh. The way sarcasm is delivered on popular shows on TV seems harmless and funny, though in real life, it is not advised to use such a form of communication as much due to potentially hurting the other party. But on the internet, everything goes. Therefore, we would like to reintroduce you to an Instagram account called @sarcasm_only that shares the most relatable and the funniest sarcasm content on the internet.
Nowadays, collecting over 16M subscribers, this account just keeps on giving, so if you feel like discovering more of their humor on Bored Panda, see our previous posts here and here.
To learn more about sarcasm, its benefits and drawbacks, Bored Panda has reached out to Anthony Smith, a licensed mental health counselor in Massachusetts, and Sarah Swenson, a licensed mental health counselor. To learn what they had to say on this topic, read down below.
More info: Instagram | Psychologytoday.com
This post may include affiliate links.
man, I cannot believe I'm in my 50's 30 years early
Load More Replies...omg, I've only just turned 40, and am a girl, and I get up 3-5 times a night to pee. Definitely don't understand how more liquid can come out than what went in, but whatevs. But don't tell me it gets even WORSE than that??? T.T
This is me. Unfortunately, Bouche doesn't understand the struggle of trying to climb over the body of a kitten that's ready to play (or sleeping) with the need to not wet the bed.
Yup, my bladder knows when I'm on my bed, on the couch, about to start my car and 1 min after a meeting started.
"Do your wrinkles remind you how old you are?" Not as much as my bladder does.
Right! How about having to go a few times before the sun rises?! And, when you gotta go, you better run.....
Load More Replies...its a foundation experience that everyone needs to experience.
Load More Replies...i get in bed, am happy for a few minutes, then i start overthinking everything.
Same. I love being in bed, except for when I'm trying to go to sleep
Load More Replies...If my wife had to chose between me and our bed, I'd be looking for a place to stay lol.
I went Mattress shopping and bought the 2nd best mattress for me.... the 1st best mattress was really expensive and sooo comfortable I was afraid I'd never get out of bed....
I hate getting into bed and sleeping, I always feel like I'm losing time.
In the beginning of this post, we mentioned that sarcasm can be hurtful; however, Anthony affirms that this clever style of humor is neither good, nor bad due to its complexities. He shared: “To begin, I think it's important to consider what Blasko et al. (2021) are quick to note: "Sarcasm is widely used, but its complexities are not well understood. Sarcastic utterances can have multiple nuanced meanings depending on individual differences of the speaker, listener, and the sociocultural context."
Anthony also noted that even though there are no classes on how to learn sarcasm, people who have gained this skill didn’t voluntarily decide to achieve it. He wrote: “It's part of a communication style they, for one reason or another, evolve, whether as a defense, in the more caustic situations (elaborated on below), or a clever style of humor if the person is so cognitively inclined. There are no classes on how to be effectively sarcastic (sorry if that sounded a bit sarcastic, haha, but you see my point - and an effective use of 'everyday' sarcasm, to drive a point home). Now, imagine if we were talking on the phone and I said, 'There are no classes in being effectively sarcastic' in my normal talking manner and chuckled, versus if I struck a tone as I said it, trying to come across as clever, but implying you're asking a dumb question. This is the nuance of constructive, versus hurtful/defensive/caustic, sarcasm.”
What makes me mad about periods is that you bleed because your body thinks it's too much work to reabsorb the lining so it just throws it out. Rude and wasteful!
Never considered that angle, now I'm even more pissed about it!
Load More Replies...Can I please just donate my uterus to someone else? I'm never going to use it and no doubt there's plenty of other women out there who might need one for whatever reason.
I literally *wish* I could've give my uterus to a trans lady like ma'am you deserve it more than I do, please take it 😭
Load More Replies...Seriously. Why does it have to shed for 4-5 days? Can't we get this done all at once? I mean, for a tiny little egg, it sure does create a huge mess for a week. Bad design.
exactly, mine is 7 to 8 days i would like to just have maybe a whole day of it nd done.
Load More Replies...not even an hour maybe just 30min , and not blood maybe just glitter. f*****g hate periods.
Excuse me GLITTER?! id take one for a month but never GLITTER! that stuff gets EVERYWHERE
Load More Replies...Periods are the reason I (a woman) think the female reproductive organs was designed by Satan.
A male Satan. As they can't seem to do anything right.
Load More Replies...I used to say, "I can't wait for menopause so I don't have periods anymore". Now that I'm in menopause, I'd give anything to trade the symptoms for period cramps again. Menopause is f'ing brutal. No one really talks about that.
That’s my cat, every time you go to the kitchen she thinks it’s time to eat, anything
Yeah and then you put the plate down and they're like, "what's this s**t?".
Load More Replies..."Unbelievable. I ordered left over rotisserie chicken, and she's opening a can of Fancy Feast. There goes her Yelp review".
You should make the most out of it, but it has nothing to do with your weight. Nobody will ever care as much about your weight as you do yourself. That I can promise you. You're fantastic as you are, and life will only get better, so enjoy each and every minute of it.
Load More Replies...Same. If I could just have my teenage body with my current wisdom
Load More Replies...YES. I looked at a photo of myself from high school and did not recognise myself because my cheek and collar bones were so sharp they could cut glass. I am so sad.
I wasn't even "skinny" or "thin" but yeah, I definitely am not even close to that anymore. Makes me wonder what I'll be thinking of how I am now in ten years.
Appreciate your body at every stage because you'll always look back with a different perspective called "damn I was hot"
Amen! I WISH I was as fat now as I was in HS. Not how I really am now.
Sarcasm is not a new-age thing, and due to its direct translation from the Greek "sarkazein," it touches more of the negative side rather than the positive. Anthony wrote: “the root of the word sarcasm, from the Greek 'sarkazein,' as noted in my Psychology Today article: 'To tear at flesh like a dog.' This was globalized (see Webster's etc. for further citations if needed) to include 'biting one's lips in rage' and eventually an attitude of sneering commentary. Clearly, it implies a generally destructive matter. The only constructive benefit, in my mind, of sarcasm, is sarcastic humor, when it is playful banter or seasons a discussion.”
He continued: “Consider someone taking advantage of a moment for silliness/playfulness, like a couple with a newborn where the mother changes the outfit of the baby in short order and the father, having the left the room for a moment, comes back in and comments on the rapidity of the action with, 'You changed her outfit that fast!?' and the mother replies, 'Nope, we just have a prodigious child.' Both chuckle and go about their day. It might also be a constructive way for a comedian (Bill Burr being the best example, in my mind), whose job is essentially to deliver levity amidst the negative aspects of life, to find humor in troubling current events, thus taking the edge from the toxicity we're barraged with. Perhaps they make light of a certain politician's scandalous modus operandi and their latest cover-up, quipping, 'No one ever saw that coming, huh?' and go on to cultivate a sarcasm-driven, fictional scenario about what excuse the politician will come up with this time.”
If they had any idea the things I don't say I'd probably have been banished a long time ago
I could be such a b***h if I wanted to. The things I think sometimes are so mean. Sometimes I feel like I probably should be saying them to specific people that need to be put into place, but I would probably just get in trouble or something.
Truth. Frustrating too - it's like over the years you learn to restrain, rephrase and 'say it nicer' (as you were admonished to do by 'friends' in the past)... and the new people you meet? Oh well, they decide it's a good call to deride the restraint, saying you're boring or 'weak' for not unleashing caustic waves of emotion - but ohhhh myyyy... if the past you was unleashed... they'd be complaining up and down in every post/tweet/tiktok about what a jackhole you are and be trying to destroy you.
Lol like i grew up not cursing and valueing othes feelings... just imagine if i didnt do any of that 0_o
Load More Replies...Meh, I'm about as mean as I have it in me to be. I don't like being cruel, I had a cruel mother growing up, and have no desire, willingness, or capacity to do the same. I can be a pain, hot tempered, and at times even selfish, but mean isn't in me. Even when I blow my lid, it involves screaming into pillows (I tried punch pillows, but it wasn't satisfying). I don't use violence against people, physical or verbal.
Load More Replies...You people better start appreciating the effort I put into not being a serial killer.
Thank you for not serial killing Enlee. GOOD JOB. Gold Star for no unaliving!!
Load More Replies...I consider myself a hero. I save numerous lives every day simply by resisting the urge to choke the life out of people who p**s me off.
I literally got therapy to stop smacking people in their stupid faces and not one single person with an unsmacked stupid face has ever said thank you.
I set 3 alarms. 2 optimistic ones and 1 for "if you don't get up right this second you will not make it!"
Only two? AMATEUR !! 😜 You're not really trying to cut it close unless you have 4 or more. Lol
It took me decades to figure out what works best for me: Set one alarm with a 5 minute snooze button. Hit snooze ONCE, but do NOT go back to sleep. Instead, stretch out your back (hug your knees to your chest, roll your hips to the side, etc) while still nice and warm under the blankets. Even if you keep your eyes closed during this, LOOK UPWARD (like you're trying to see your own eyebrows). I read somewhere that helps to trick your brain into becoming more awake/alert, but I'm not sure if it's scientific or just hokum. In addition to working for getting me out of bed on time, I haven't pulled a muscle in my back even once since I started doing this. 😁👍
Gonna try that! If I wake up enough when hitting snooze that is
Load More Replies...Sure, except for me it's 3-5 eons. I'll get back to you sometime before the heat death of the cosmos.
Load More Replies...Sometimes I'm on my phone and someone texts me and I just instantly click the notification, which means I now have to respond because it's marked as read. It's a really annoying response.
but if it's an iphone you can mark it as unread if they haven't seen you read it
Load More Replies...Reminds me of Direct Debit bills. They take it out in an instant- yet return it (if cancelled) in five business days or a couple of weeks later.
I mostly think about how to reply until it feels too awkwardly late and I just don't.
Up till now I have suppressed the urge to send an autoreply something like 'rest assure that your mail will get the attention in merits, if you don't hear from me, don't contact me on this topic again.'
For me it's unimportant things: 0.2 seconds important things: 1 hour after I shoyldve looked
In terms of other relationships, maybe less close ones, sarcasm can easily be taken as an insult. Anthony continued sharing his thoughts on the topic: “barring humor, a penchant for sarcasm generally creates inter-relational difficulty, as those so versed create scenarios where others, especially if they don't know the person well, can't tell if they're joking or making a devaluing statement. A host, noticing a bit late that someone did not have any coffee yet, innocently checks in with, 'Would you like some coffee, too?' and the sarcasm-prone person replies, 'Oh, thanks. I thought I had a sign on me that said 'I hate coffee' or something...' this could be humor, or it could be irritation attempting to be hidden behind a veil of humor, depending on the relationship. Such comments used unendingly as a general interactive style likely indicate a rather defensive person who struggles to effectively communicate conflicts they may have. It's likely a person with negative self-evaluation in comparison to others, or key particular people, at least, who uses such quips as put-downs to devalue the party they're feeling defensive towards, and elevate their own status. Perhaps the person being offered coffee is jealous of the host, and transcends the jealousy by devaluing the person, creating a scenario in their mind where they are superior, i.e., 'What an awful host. They should just leave the coffee as self-serve, like I do when I have a gathering. It's easier for everybody, and nobody would have to wait like I had to. How rude.'"
Are we talking animals or actual babies that are super hairy?
Load More Replies...I always knew I wasn't a princess (wrong colour hair). But substitute 3 whippets and I could do this
Don't worry Quokka, after 60 you still don't know what you're doing, but you don't care
Load More Replies...Hah! Remember when we were in our 20's and thought people in their mid-30's had finally managed to learn how to adult properly? hahahahahahahahaha!
The only way, we people will ever have our sh*t together is when we never flush.
The Truth is... Everyone, including world leaders are just making it up as they go along. That is the terrible truth the world hides.
I'm a man, so I can't use that excuse. Can I use the "just 'cos" excuse?
I've said it before, just make sure they're empty calories. Empty calories don't count. So don't eat a 50 calorie salad, eat a whole pie. That 2000 * 0 calories, which is 50 less than the salad.
Load More Replies...Besides...cake is just flour, eggs and sugar with a little butter/oil and flavoring mixed in. Why do you think the word Cake is in Pancake?
Since it is difficult to understand whether the sarcasm was just a joke or an actual expression of irritation, people who use a lot of it in their communication can feel more disconnected than the others who don't use it. Being genuine and more vulnerable does not include sarcasm, and these are the qualities that connect us as people more deeply. This is what Sarah Swenson had to say on that: “The one thing I would add is that there may well be times when sarcasm is effective. However, the intimate relationship is not one of them because that is a place where sincerity and vulnerability are paramount. Sarcasm seldom helps a couple feel closer. In fact, it can become an invisible agent that pulls them apart.”
“All of this said, problematically sarcastic people will bring their deconstructive communication style to therapy, and an effective therapist will work with this. For example, someone comes to therapy because they are depressed, and it is discovered it has a lot to do with feeling isolated/not finding a life partner. As the therapist gets to know the patient, it will become clear they have a baseline sarcastic lens/tendency towards people in their life/life events. This will eventually be leveled at the therapist, as therapy is a microcosm of the person's bigger world, giving an opportunity to open the door to exploring this communication style and how it may be a root of their relationship discontent. The therapist can point out how certain sarcastic comments make them feel, like they're sometimes confused if the patient is trying to be funny or express irritation, and wonder if anyone else has commented similarly, and bring about realization that more effective communication can be helpful,” shared Anthony.
Also kitchen Advil, nightstand Advil, and master bathroom Advil.
Load More Replies...What about tissues? There's bathroom tissues, bedroom tissues, couch tissues, and of course purse tissues. :)
I was just going to ask that...I reckon I should get shares in Kleenex!
Load More Replies...Yes... Though the 50s Advil for me is 4 at a time lol.
Load More Replies...Right next to your upstairs ChapStick, downstairs ChapStick, car ChapStick & work ChapStick....
I know this is a joke and it is funny but advil (ibuprofen) can be dangerous. It's not meant for daily use for extended periods of time unless you're being monitored by a physician. It can raise your blood pressure, cause kidney damage, or lead to gastrointestinal bleeding. Also never exceed the recommended dosage of Tylenol/Acetaminophen it can damage your liver.
In 2013, a 67-year-old Belgian woman intended to drive from Wallonia to Brussels (150 km/90 miles). Because a GPS error, she drove to Zagreb, in Croatia (1450 km/900 miles). "I was distracted, so I kept going". The adventure has been always there. Technology can't kill our spirit.
Imagine hearing it say bear two degrees to the south until you do.
Load More Replies...Your ancestors went wrong so many times that every island in the ocean is now populated. It's in your genes, don't fight it, embrace it.
Three Japanese tourists in Australia used their GPS to plan a drive to North Stradbroke Island, just off the coast of the eastern city of Brisbane. But what the machine didn't account for was the nine miles of water dividing the island from the mainland. The road turned to gravel, then to thick mud, then to gentle laps of water against the tires. The three were forced to abandon the vehicle and return on foot. Passengers aboard a passing ferry — the recommended way to get to the island — reportedly watched the whole embarrassing event unfold. A tow truck gave the poor tourists a ride back, and the car, not being worth the repair, was sent to the dump.
SPEAK ON IT!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣..and THEN the GPS gets mad at you and takes you in circles and squares just to put you on the opposite side of the street!!!
My ancestors navigated by landmarks. Frazier's Ferry. The "big hill" is halfway there. A store that was closed in the 50s. The "tater hole" where a wagon went over the road bank and lost its load. Fun Times.
Grandma and her best friend. Those two knew how to get into trouble. Sadly her friend passed away a couple of years ago and the troublemaking has stopped. Nothing keeps your heart pounding like getting a phone call saying "Don't tell anyone, we're at the hospital and need a ride home. What happened? Nothing serious. Annie just fell, and scalped herself."
I want a set for my two dogs...I know exactly who the troublemaker is too.
Heck, I do both all by myself. Get’n in trouble be easy, It’s the get’n out thats difficult.
My sister and I have fridge magnets that both say, "In my defense, it was HER idea".
Anthony added: “Socially, people on the receiving end of sarcasm can do similarly. Pointing out to the pervasively sarcastic person that they can't help but feel confused - is the person joking, or are they trying to communicate something else? 'Hey, so-and-so, I wanted to check in with you... I know you tend to have a sarcastic sense of humor, but sometimes I get the sense that there's more to it when you make XYZ sarcastic comments. I really value our friendship (etc.), and don't want there to be some rift. I don't think you'd do anything to intentionally hurt me, but I can't help but feel X when you make comments like (have a few examples ready).' Results will be on a spectrum - some people may be taken aback and not realize their interactive style can be biting to some, and, if they value your relationship, will talk it out and make efforts to not make such comments. Others, who liberally use sarcasm as a primary defense of sorts to devalue people around them in order to boost their esteem, can turn it around and say, 'Aw, I'm just messing with you. What? You can't take it?' thus elevating themselves in their mind that you're soft, and they're tougher, and therefore superior. Outside effective psychotherapy, such people aren't likely to let go of this defense, as it is the only armor they have in which to face the world, as illustrated with the example of my acquaintance I reference in my Psychology Today post. If you want a continued relationship with such a person, it may come down to choosing radical acceptance via empathy and that, in the end, the person isn't against them; rather, they're very fragile and trying to protect themselves, and might need to be encountered in small doses, or, if it is too overshadowing, decide to discontinue the contact.”
So, pandas, let us know what you think about this topic and whether you use sarcasm in your daily communications.
People see me as the top right one while I'm feeling more like the bottom right. Never understood it until I went home from work and saw my mother driving towards me after a day teaching adolescents. I mean, thunderclouds were hovering above the car. Later I called her and asked about her day. 'No kid, had a normal day, everything went fine.' Illuminating experience...
Guys imagine going to Starbucks and saying “can I get a plain black coffe please?”
I’d like an almond milk mocha vodka latte with Valium sprinkles and definitely the lemon trazodone scone please !
"The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee"
Well I mean if it's iced it doesn't come with foam... at least in my county we can't make an iced cappuccino because the temperature gradient violates County health code
The US doesn't care. I've tried to explain that exact same thing TO EVERY ONE and I was told to make an iced latte and steam the milk for hot foam to put on top. SB customers are some of the worst
Load More Replies...And the whole day ? Who has time or energy to do anything after a day of work really ?
That's the thing. I feel-and I'm sure many others do, too- that we're wishing our lives away trying to get the workday over. And by the time you're done you're exhausted. I get we need labor but can we not find a way to make it part time? If I could work 8am-12pm every day, then have the rest of the day to live my life, it would be so nice. But no, I work until 6pm. I sometimes drive to work in the dark and also drive home in the dark. In the winter, I don't see light 5-6 days out of a week, lol.
Yeup. As a RN...I only see daylight if im looking out the patients window!
Load More Replies...The job I have now is there first job where I don't have to work weekends or holidays.
What jobs were you doing before? Didn‘t you have any days off? Not even one day off per week?
Load More Replies...And then, parenting & managing a household too! The job is often the easier part.
Yes because it would be much better to work differentl jobs at random periods of time. And by jobs I don't only refer to important jobs but random tasks you have to do for money like from writing code to hard work agriculture.
Load More Replies...Yes, as my late mother said, when she was in her late fifties: "This working every day thing is not what it's cracked up to be." I'm a year, maybe two, from retirement, and I wholeheartedly concur.
Two months in and I think I might have committed a crime
Load More Replies...I don't even recognize the life anymore. I am still here but not exactly here.
Don't know why but...COMPLETELY relatable...feel like it's an alternate universe almost...
Load More Replies...🤔, been nice all my life, follow rules, say my prayers and take my vitamins , nothing
I feel you..i even empty thecoce trays regularly....STILL nothing....
Load More Replies...So far this year I broke my ankle in January and I'm currently dealing with major water damage in my house that has left me without a kitchen. Being fully delusional sounds amazing, gonna try it immediately.
I think everyone in the world just decided to do this all of the sudden. It explains everything.
My money has all been invested...in food mortgage and utilities 🥴
I usually turned up the moment everybody was going inside (we'd queue outside first and check where our seats were) with no idea what exam I was going in for. 3 years later, I still dont know what subject one of the exams was for.
Load More Replies...I'm either in a panic driven rush to get ready and out the door 20 minutes after I'm supposed to, or I'm ready 2 hours in advance and sitting anxiously watching the clock. Anything in between is pure happenstance and there's no way to replicate it.
I know how long it takes to get ready, I'm just always surprised that the clock hands move
I seem to do this with everything in life that has a deadline, time limit, due date.. u name it and I'm usually waiting till the last minute
I have to rest between each stage of getting ready and sometimes I doze off for 15 hours before finishing
I seem to think I can do a lot of things in time but I always fail.. oh wait I think thats my ADHD coming through
Naw dude me too and I thought it WAS a picture of me…
Load More Replies...My boobies hang lower than that because basically they deflated after breastfeeding. My back first "went" on me when I was 17 (sciatica) . And now it's me poor aching knees, lol 🤓
OMG NO WAY MY MOM HAD A PUZZLE WITH THIS IMAGE ON IT!!!! ITS CALLED SAD MONDAY/TUEDAY I TIHNK
Never seen it before and it makes perfect sense to me. Only she is skinnier than I am.
The floor is not lava. The floor is ice crystals And I am joking to avoid recognising myself in the picture. How am I doing?
i beg to differ it makes the perfect apartment for my rabbit-wearing-a-bucket-hat-and-a-hoodie keychain
I use them to sort out things in my drawers. Any box small enough is used to sort things out in my drawers. In this house, we don't throw away boxes. Heresy!
Load More Replies...OK BUT HEAR ME OUT if you cover the whole thing in washi tape, you get a cute little box for jewelry or paperclips or whatever the hell you want
I lined mine with pretty paper and store make up in them! They’re so sturdy!
Load More Replies...Is that really a millennial thing ... I think that is a Gen X thing ... we prepare to return things (we're starting to turn into our grandparents)
Excuse you I almost threw out an old phone box but then I ended up trading it in so I needed the box to send it back
i have my airpods box still. idk why but i refuse to throw it away
i kept my old airpods box and i used it and gave it to the person i sold my airpods to for the real experience lmao
Load More Replies...2am: I need to pee! 4am: I need to pee again! 5am: I really need to fall asleep now!
About an hour into my shift at work I always start wondering if the building is flammable.
no, it's way less chill like *swerves* "oh god, I think I just broke the law *heart pounding like the beat in staying alive* oh lord, is that a policecar in that tree?"
Pulled a mid block U-turn and got a "whoop whoop" behind me. Officer, I am so late. My business partner & are are meeting with our corporate attorney to sue (some HATED Seattle company). I apologize, could I just pull over here and you just leave the ticket on my car?. Just pull over Ma'am, it's all good. Oh, thank you kind sir. Had no idea my blouse had one more button than it should undone. (Swear!).
Oh yes. After 40, everyday your body introduces you to a new body part and not in a friendly way.
Surgeon: Your knees exhibit a degree of maturity. Me: Is that good or bad? Surgeon: Blah, Blah, Blah Me:: You mean my knees are old.
Oh yeah. The mind tells me one thing buty body pain kicks in and tells me sit your a*s down.
Yeah, my brain wants to write checks my body isn't even going to cover.
The only thing preventing me from being happy ? The inability to digest grass, mostly
Just say it with authority. If it sounds official it is OFFICIAL.
Load More Replies...Who decides "Official" anyway? Let's declare the Official Bored Panda International Wine & Pets Day.
I'm down. Seriously, I've been thinking about starting one of those "hey pandas" threads to show off our pets. Maybe it's time...
Load More Replies...I'm more wondering why people seem to only see fully clothed ghosts. Are they that shy? Or is there a haunted wardrobe somewhere where the terrible fashion of past decades died. Considering how many people have died, for example, getting out of the bathtub, there should be more naked ghosts. and besides, if you are dead why would you care about nudity after a couple of centuries. I would think that a few exhibitionist ghosts would like to scare people. Ghosts are people too?
My problem is falling in to a YouTube hole. I'm looking at a cute baby farting one minute, and the next it's 2 hours later and I'm watching a ranking of the world's top 10 serial killers!
I mean, if the drain for the tub is plugged it will eventually fill up
I told my wife the other day that if anything ever happened where I became single again, I'm staying that way. I've learned my lesson.
Everyone says they are excellent at excel ... until we use it, and have to find a YouTube video on what formula we have to use ...
I worked a lot with MS Access. Whew! Excel - Why did the date become algebra?
This really isn’t necessary, it just highlights that someone has said something you don’t agree with, and makes me want to look(and I know I’m not alone in this)! You could just say, “they look adorable” or something else, and I’m sure it would soon get enough upvotes.
Load More Replies...Jesus Christ. Why does Shyla Bouche have 11 downvotes for this? 11? First of all, this post is all about sarcasm, right? So, maybe, just maybe, Shyla was responding with sarcasm? Secondly, Shyla is a regular here and if anyone had bothered to look at her profile page, they would realize this isn't a typical comment from her. If this wasn't sarcasm, then maybe she is just grumpy right now. Either way, 11 downvotes is ridiculous- save the downvotes for when she says that you are Satan's annoying spawn (this IS sarcasm, by the way). Downvotes can get you banned, and as another regular here, we all mostly agree that the comment needs to be downright ignorant and wrong for that many downvotes and Shyla has never been ignorant with her comments.
Here, here! I've been banned twice for downvotes. No hate speech or spamming - just unpopular opinions or misconstrued comments.
Load More Replies...Dammit, why can't I upvote this more than once?! Makes me laugh so hard!
I have one that sayeth "I'd Turn Back If I Were You," in a scary font. I 🖤 it!
Love it! My mat does not say 'welcome', It stands for Wipe Every Last Crumb Off Muddy Extremities.
I once spent a weekend in the forest with a tent and camping equipment to avoid a certain person. It rained most of the time but it was totally worth it. Extreme ghosting part 248.
I would respond with "Oh wow! What a coincidence! I'm in your city. We're like two ships passing in the night....so keep on sailing....please...."
"Why? Okay, hope you have a good time. Unfortunately, I am out of town, in training."
Me trying to figure out unsolved cases when my life itself needs some serious help.
Me except I do neither of those but instead doom scroll my phone until I'm sick of the world. Then I go to BP :)
see i don't have this problem because i would never have $1400 in the first place B)
Feel like he's there every 30 days too...such a bully!
Load More Replies...This. If someone asks how I am I will say I'm doing well even if I am actively having a mental breakdown or anxiety attack.
Yep, it is a joke among my coworkers that they are going to put the words "I'm fine" on my tombstone.
“I’m fine! Nothing wrong with me!” *proceeds to describe depression,OCD, and ADHD*
Whe your therapist has the audacity to say 'No, it isn't "what is is"!'
*me needing a therapist* *me not wanting a therapist because I’ll make them depressed and I’ll only annoy them even though thats exactly what theyre for*
Please don't worry about annoying them. They got into the field expressly to help people. Going to therapy was one of the absolute best things I've ever done for myself.
Load More Replies...Fun fact in some country the medical system is free except for the mental healt so if you don't need a psychiatrists you still have to pay and some can't afford a therapist.
what is that child doing sitting there???? Like how were her parents okay with that?
When people ask me, ;How are you?: I answer. "I am here, I made it today.'
Ohhh, I'd be laughing till tears would run down my legs if this happened 😂😂😂
It's necessary because what if you feel fat one day, or feel hot and wanna look extra good, or just wanna be comfy. You can't just put on any clothes, they must match your mood and your current self esteem.
Packing underwear for a trip like you are planning to poop yourself every day. :)
THIS! I pack like I plan on having an accident ever few minutes
Load More Replies...I went on a trip to attend a conference once, and at the official dinner with the other conference guests I suddenly blurted "OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO PACK ANY UNDERWEAR".
sits on the floor of the hotel, sobbing and looking at the huge pile of clothes on the floor after only liking and repeatedly wearing one.
Smart packs underwear as if she plans to pee her pants twice a day. Socks are packed as if you are going to constantly step into something wet.That is, for a two-day trip, all the underwear you own are packed in your suitcase. Even those unsexy pants with holes that you only wear during your period.
I thought I was the only one who packed extra socks and underwear for “just in case” XD
Load More Replies...Going on a flight, Limited to 30kg in a suitcase. Suitcase weighs 25 kg.
You made me laugh , I was just thinking the same thing , God i'm old :D lol
Load More Replies...If you are old enough to need this (me) you are old enough to not care how ridiculous it looks (also me). Now shut up and take my money!
It looks like so much could go wrong with this. Imagine climbing stairs.
i don't know why all these memes suggest being over 30 involves being tired. I only started to feel tired after 43-ish.
I got tired consistently around 25; You and I helped make the average ^_^
Load More Replies...Unless you have IBD; then you learn not to trust your gut with anything, at all, ever!
But sis be knowing.... Please speak the Kings English not the trump's English.
People in the US have deliberately done it to get healthcare.
Load More Replies...Sometimes I play a moral game with myself and ask if I knew there would be no consequences and I wouldn't be caught, would I do it? And I think becoming an adult is when the answers become more yes than no.
Banks rob people all the time, but if you call stock options or high risk investments, it is legal.
START a bank. Robbing one nets you very, very little, on average, with a high chance of capture. Start one, fleece your customers, charge for everything, and when it collapses you get free bail-out money!
I actually realized this the other day, I could start a bank, pay 4% on deposits, use the deposits to buy 3 month T-bills paying 4.98%, pocket the spread, and hope I don't get too many withdrawals right when rates are rising or congress decides to reneg on providing a way for the Treasury to meet its obligations.
Load More Replies...Just like gambling. Problem is, I quit while I was ahead and made a whole $5.
Load More Replies...We're going to see more in the way of highly intelligent but nonviolent people looking for creative ways to Robin Hood monies away from the greedy wealthy.
And then creative entrepreneurs who will start businesses offer shortcuts for doing this, and make a killing, effectively circumventing the original goal.
Load More Replies...80% of bank robbers get caught, less than 50% of convience store robbers get caught. Do the math
In Washington state in the US a police officer agreed affirmatively that should one rob a bank and DRIVE away, legally the Popo can't pursue them. My son asked this after his car was stolen for the third time and the police response was "we don't do anything about it." - Thank you Washington government.
I want to be a successful trophy wife that independently does nothing all day!
I'm too ugly to be a trophy wife. I'm not smart enough to make it big in tech or investments. I'm just ugly enough to win the lottery but I'm too poor to play. :(
Load More Replies...There was a week in-between leaving my last job and starting my current job where I did nothing (besides house chores), while my wife went to work every day. I thought to myself, "I could definitely be a kept man".
I'm either a participation trophy or a booby prize but damn it I'm a trophy!
At this stage (crowding 40) , I’ll go with trophy wife. Adulting is hard!
I know it's a joke, but emotional manipulation like that is seriously messed up.
For reals!!!! I hate these games people play.
Load More Replies...Like any woman would have to ask what to do when they're losing an argument.
Redirection:Pick an even bigger argument you've already won in the past. That's what my ex would do 😒
Orrrrrr to have a solid, mature relationship you could just admit you could be wrong.... (I know it's a joke I just hate these stupid mindsets and people wonder why they don't have good relationship!!)
Or you could always choose to just act like Kari Lake... just saying. (Too soon?)
OMG... I have a full collection of these. I stopped partying at 24 because of that, and only used to get drunk in every company dinner (every!) until 2015. I am self-employed from that year... 7 years sober.
Jack Daniels. It happened about 20 years ago, but that smell still takes me back.
Anybody remember Strawberry Hill by Boone's Farm? The bane of teenage drunken existence? 🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Me, Europe, 1994, 14 yrs old, school trip, entire bottle of vodka. Thank God one if our chaperones was a doctor. We were in Greece about to fly home next morning. That blessed man said "Greek hospitals are where u go to die, not to recover", then pumped me full of water and coffee and assisted me thru the airport still drunk as hell, while I puked in every. Single. Garbage. Can. Plus the whole 15 hr flight home. I slept for a week when I got back. Then was grounded for essentially life. I still gag at the smell of both vodka AND rubbing alcohol, 30 yrs later. Ugh...
Lol same age as you was I gave myself alcohol poisoning
Load More Replies...The smell of tequilla still makes me heave 20 something years later after I was that friend who ate the worm in the bottle quite happily pissed 🤢
My only advice to anyone who might be thinking of drinking is avoid Everclear like the plague. Just don't do it. Everyone has an Everclear story - every Everclear story is insane . Plus the person who has that story is relating it purely from other people who remember, video footage taken during the event, and possible police reports. It's not worth it. Just ask people about their Everclear stories if you don't believe me.
I know a fiddle maker who cleans varnish brushes with it
Load More Replies...Jamaican rum, about 20 years ago, chipped two front teeth and bled all over myself on the bus ride home. Tequila, more than 30 years ago, one of the most violent morning-afters I've ever lived through. And it turns out vodka removes my clothing, so that had to go about 40 years ago, lol! You know, I am so pleased that I have no "fun" stories about my gummies these days :-)
Me: $7.50m, Imma buying that. Checkout: +$16.00 p&h. OK, that's not too bad. Exchange rate on credit card: $78.00.
I know that feeling. Shipping, handling, stolen, and then booked into the evidence room after being recovered by the law enforcement.
I'm from the "scratched and dinged" department: I work fine but every once in a while there's whooshing sound and the menu changes to a unknown characters. Turn me off then back on. I'm good.
i have the adhd bundle complete with anxiety and depression and for the low low price of learning how to cope i can be lazy and not do school work!
Is it me, or does the child in the picture look like the kid in Ice Age?
You won the "Coffee Flying Out of My Nose at 70MPH" Award! Congratulations 👏🎉👏🎉🥇🏆
Load More Replies...This kid dresses better than me. I'm grown af and I want this outfit
I am not risking my mental health for anyone in 2023 or ever! O.K maybe my dogs cause I be thinking about the rainbow bridge and losing my s#!t
I've seen so many of my dogs on that bridge. I can feel what you feel
Load More Replies...So she says that she isn't willing to risk her mental health for orphans?
Sorry but I love android I grew up with it and don’t like apple, so android/Samsung loving pandas unite!
an android charger, and by that, you mean a sensible C-type charger that charges half of my house, including the cat and myself?
I do not understand the android hate. It does the same thing as an iphone, except it's cheaper and has a bigger screen
without as many glitches and you can accidentally sit on it and it doesn't snap in half
Load More Replies...Yea no. Apple elitism is lame. Go with the phone that suits you. Also, it's a "USB C charger" and works with every other GD modern device on the planet EXCEPT Apple.
And only the phones. Like seriously, ipad, macs and every other goddamn phone on earth uses usb-c, WHY NOT THE IPHONE?!?!! Google pixel here btw
Load More Replies...You must live in a wealthy country. Most people in my country have android. people look at you like that if you ask for iphone. And then ask whether you're rich, or go "oooo someone's rich"
I stand very firm on the right to repair, which Apple has demonstrated time and time again that they are against. They're the enemy of the power user, who genuinely wants to own and control his/her device. And even worse, so many other tech companies are starting to follow their business model. It's disgusting. There's so few options on the market for people who actually want to do s**t on their phone other than Instagram. Laptops are starting to go the same way, too. Disgusting. I'll stand with android for as long they don't f*****g need me to outsource my goddamn phone to their mother ship just to fix a broken power button. And that will always be true, because Android is not one monolithic entity full of proprietary locked up garbage. Competition encourages innovation. And as long as a dozen companies keep making android phones, then we'll have good ones.
I give this 100 virtual upvotes since in reality I can give but 1 upvotes. Down with ITyrrany!
Load More Replies...Drives me nuts. Had a parent at our Middle School frantically looking for her daughter's... I-PHONE. No way I'm giving my preteen kid a $1000 phone...no way in hell!
I work on electronics and we make fun of people thinking iPhones are high tech gadgets. On the other hand, apple is great keeping compatibility between their own devices. There's a saying that goes: iphone for artists, androids for nerds. Proud tech nerd here.
Just make it 20 and call it universal income already, i'm so tired of mandatory work.
Sometimes there is nothing wrong with the choice, it was just a bad outcome
Or 60s. All you can do is reminisce on the no-aches-and-pains days you once used to have and now rely on your joints for accurate weather forecasts.
Load More Replies...When you hit your 50s, what you felt in your 30's will feel just like a small scratch.
Yeah, dehydration. But the struggle is real since you have to choose between drinking and pissing all night or feeling like a mummy every morning.
see another one? I was totally not perpetually exhausted in my 30s... no idea what's with these people. Probably all the HFCS in their food.
Or their physiology? 2.6 million different hands of cards can come from a deck of 52. You got dealt a better hand in this area than "these people" did.
Load More Replies...Nope. I'm all for giving advice to those who want to talk but other than that I don't even want to hear about your drama
I don’t want to hear about your drama, I want to see it unfold but like nobody knows I’m there so I can’t get involved
Load More Replies...we don't do that anymore in my country, we just send bulk Whatsapps.
Load More Replies...reminds me of this awful sexist musical: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Doz5w2W-jAY ..."would you be upset if I forgot your birthday? Heavens no."
But... But... How are you gonna feel like in a motivational poster then ?
Do what I did and buy Demotivational posters and feel like them. No one can tell the difference at a casual glance XD
Load More Replies...living my life to my fullest would mostly involve scrolling bored panda in bed with a large hot chocolate.
When I could walk, I loved to stroll to a great view and have a picnic. No speedy hiking, stroll and enjoy the view, take cake/wine whatever you enjoy
No it's the Bride of Chucky (horror comedy movie)
Load More Replies...Haven't worn one since 2001, tight stretchy camisoles are enough for me (maybe not enough for anyone seeing my unleashed boobs)
Load More Replies...The benefit to wearing masks is that no one can see the expressions on my face. The downside to wearing masks is that no one can see the expressions on my face.
Another downside is getting so used to wearing masks that when you don't have one on you forget your actually supposed to hide your facial expressions 😳
Load More Replies...I have resting b face so I normally look like this 😒 but if I don’t like you I’m like this 😠
i tried that when i was six it was horrible i accidentally blew the salt into my eyes
It’s about a song by Clapton. We’ll call it “She Don’t Lie…”
Load More Replies...Try wearing sport bra. Ihave been wearing them to work for years, Best dwcision ever. Its not fancy but keeps the hookas in place, dont jiggle that much and no straps digging into my skin
I gave up on wearing bras entirely. I do realize though that only small boobs make that possible
Load More Replies...Ack, f**k this. I quit bras before the pandemic struck. Zero f***s given.
I know these posts are supposed to be taken light-hearted but this is one thing that should never be normalised! Take responsibility for the carnage you created when you were drunk.
Yeah, normalizing the "me on drug is not me" narrative is harmfull in many way, especially for addicts. Being intoxicated is not a free excuse for s****y behavior.
Load More Replies...Had a co-worker that went to dinner with me and 5 other co-workers. He said the next day "Did I say or do anything stupid, because I was a little buzzed?" I told him "I could tell after the second Long Island Iced Tea in less than an hour...but no...you were fine." And I will carry that lie to my grave.....
ooof. SO many stupid things I said during PUI. (partying under the influence). But god I am boring without it.
Yeah ... that's why I don't use Instagram... my eyes roll too much listening to your dumb stories.
Cat was mad. Cat understands now. Give cat food. Then cat be happy.
Translation: I can't believe I let a man, who I had to remind to brush his teeth, hurt my feelings.
Load More Replies...Good heavens, why can't some people just write in a way that we all can understand what they mean, and use some punctuation please 😳
Hahaha sometimes when you think about it, it doesn't seem like all that care over some people is worth it. Like girls fighting over a guy that cheated on both of them.
Really? You think that's bad? Wait till you're 55 and your greatest enemy is your 24 year old boss
If someone ever asks why you act like they’re enemy say ‘ah no I don’t respect you enough to be my enemy’
You are going for the food and the drama you will see when the "not perfect for each other " couple get married.
If really all your dates are stupid … Well, let's have a look at the only constant in the equation. (just a thought 😉)
Misandry has no legitimate place, exactly the same way misogyny doesn't. There are no teams here, just the delusion about them.
Load More Replies...Go for one with experience and a great sense of humor who doesn't want to change you and who you don't want to change either 😁 It works like a charm, I know that for a fact.
As a certified man™, I can assure you this is mostly accurate. Best to date academics. They lack social skills but at least they're not idiots and care enough about your rights to hear your point of view. /salespitch.
I thought that's what fabric softener was for? Because men don't use it unless they're dating. More correctly, they don't use it and their partners do, as a kind of territory marker.
Someone doesn't trust their partner. Enjoy that relationship-
I really so do not like it when (wo)men say that. Yes, being on your period sucks, and no, no woman is on her happiest at that time, but dang... stop saying those words, they're used so many times to put women down...
I read that when a woman is suffering from PMS it is the time when her hormones are most like a man's. Makes you think! lol
Me: Maybe his head will change. It's ok I can live with it... a short time later, it didn't change and I can't live with it.
Dull, turning middle aged man with a dense mind and little social experience to speak of here. Curious, is this a sex joke or more of a "The light bulb above the table was reflecting off his head at me." kind of thing?
also me: idk, why does he use the pizza button on the microwave to heat everything?
Sometimes I get lost in random thought and people move into my field of vision. When I realize and look away they probably wonder why I am creeping.
So much this, and how full of themselves are they to believe they created social issues by just looking a certain way? Secondary point, if they BELIEVE they caused it, they must also feel licensed to cause it, as they had choice in their decision for appearance prior.
Load More Replies...Ah, yeah. Evil men. It's absolutely not possible that they just stare in a vague direction, that happens to be one you stand in, whilst minding their own business and thinking about their own life. No, it MUST be about you, the main character, because you're so great that all men want you and men aren't people, they're just instincts on two legs. It's absolutely fine to leash out on Stranger because of the scenario you made up in your head about what they think and want. /s Don't get me wrong, if someone (no matter the gender) throws obvious facial expressions at you (winking, lip biting, whatever), or tries to start an unwanted conversation, etc, absolutely stand your ground!
'Ah, uh, actually nothing, but the primitive parts of my brain got carried away. Sorry.'
If someone wearing a readable shirt is within your vicinity then I was just trying to read. After all, this is the best way to get some reading in while walking in a crowded place.
I literally send these to my BFF and she always laughs and tells me to get it cuz she knows it's legit about to go down.
at least it wasn't some stupid fad like dousing yourself with ice water or eating tide pods.
Looks like you haven't been on social media for a while.
Load More Replies...... I have been watching people clearing clogged culverts, and then watching a Chinese guy (Mechanic Steve) replace the balance shaft and wheel bearings on a cement mixer. Then used as sleep-aids several 10 minute videos of excavators taking out beaver dams.
Lol, my hubby and I watch you tube videos about metal and woodworking, we can those metal and wood porn, very satisfying to watch and fall asleep with 😁
Load More Replies...I love those organization and/or cleaning videos. They speak to me. I get the dopamine rush as if I did it myself which I absolutely did not.
try exploiting the workers and being born to rich parents, that's really how you fix that problem.
But think of how much more rewarding it would be to skip dinner and go to bed early in your own house /s
It’s Hasbulla Magomedov. He is an MMA blogger. He’s 19 IIRC. It’s likely he has a form of dwarfism, but I’m not sure if he’s ever announced it.
Load More Replies...OH NO! NOT FROGS!! NOT A BUNCH OF CUTE CUDDLY PUPPIES! IM TERRIFIED
We figured it out ... now you feel you could have been a detective.
Your comment makes me feel sad. I don't know you, but that can't be true.
Load More Replies...Anyone who doesn't believe love is real has never had a pet... or were born with the "likes animals" box unticked on their personality sheet.
I let my pet rats out for their evening free roam, and two of them will constantly run over to check in with me at my desk, by either sitting on my foot or climbing onto the stack of folders beside me where I can reach down and give them a little pet. If I get up they follow me around. You can't tell me that's not love!
Load More Replies...I'm at the don't talk to me unless you wanna unwife me stage. Yep, I'm single and ready to unmingle!
seriously no. I'm loving not owing someone anything at this point. 2/10 can't recommend. If you disagree, don't downvote, you don't know what happened to me.
I think it's fear of rejection. If you be your actual self around the SO and they don't like it, they might dump you. I am much less nice in reality than I am around my SO.
Load More Replies...I got married young. I can't imagine living in this day and age trying to meet the right person. You have my sympathy.
I so agree with you on this. Meeting the right person is like a miracle in these days. I met the love of my life when I was 2 weeks short of becoming 51, moved in together 2 weeks after we met and it turned out to be magic. We met on Facebook, both not looking for a relationship, however love does what love does. But if I was to be single now, I really wouldn't be able to do the dating thing in this day and age, it all looks so tiresome.
Load More Replies...After you've been dumped a few times it stops happening. You start to just get pragmatic about it. OK so you want to be friends with benefits and maybe cohabit. Cool, let me check your hygiene habits at home. Oh, they suck, sorry, no can do. Falling in love is for people below 30 and disney cartoons. Again, just my experience, feel free to constructively disagree rather than downvote.
Funny, I fell in love at 37. :p Guess I’m a freak XD I’ve been dumped plenty of time before too, friend - you aren’t pragmatic, you’re bitter. You do you, but dont harsh others’ mellow.
Load More Replies...Auntie Bear, I enjoyed all your comments. We could totally kick it IRL. Keep on sis.
Load More Replies...Too tired to make a good dressing decision .. It's Saturday and I have chores ... I'm homeless
RIP Vivienne Westwood, the *real* inventor of "Homeless Chic" - a questionable (at best!) trend from which the fashion industry still hasn't been able to divorce itself yet.
Yeah, blocking someone to "test" how far they'll go, how much they "fight" for you, expecting them to come begging is even more s****y than not getting the hint when someone blocks you and keeping to annoy (or, worse) them with unwanted contact. Whoever got this ones block and didn't try further doged a bullet.
My thoughts exactly, who'd want to be this one's SO, I'm guessing multiple bullets dodged 😁
Load More Replies...i think it's a reference to restaurants... when the bill comes, she is suddenly no longer a feminist and is happy to let the guy pay. Just guessing.
Load More Replies...Bp, a funny tweet is NOT a meme! Also, not one of these was about sarcasm. A fitting title would have been “random memes” or “funny memes” if you want to hook people
This is not sarcasm, this was compiled by someone who does not understand sarcasm, probably American
Bp, a funny tweet is NOT a meme! Also, not one of these was about sarcasm. A fitting title would have been “random memes” or “funny memes” if you want to hook people
This is not sarcasm, this was compiled by someone who does not understand sarcasm, probably American
