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Ask any parent and they will say that raising a child is one of the most difficult jobs in life. Being in charge of a delicate life is super scary and there's the always-present question of whether you should bribe your child with screentime or not. It's a good thing, then, that most parents use humor as a defensive system when nothing else works.
To see how sleep-deprived parents coped with the shenanigans of their munchkins this April, we've gathered some of their best tweets to share with you.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
TheElderNom 2 years ago
My niece folded half a basket of laundry to avoid getting dressed. She seemed so smug about "tricking" us too.
Couragetcd 2 years ago (edited)
No, the copycat game. Typically started by saying the same things ng as someone else and continuing from there.
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Michael Krantz 2 years ago
When kids in my class copy me I start speaking slowly in Spanish so they get some practice.
Parenting being one of the most back-breaking jobs in life, it turns out, is not just a simple saying. More than 60% of adults in America have said that parenthood was somewhat more difficult than they imagined, according to the newest research by Pew Research. Likewise, 26% stated that it was much harder than they thought it would be.
These fascinating statistics also range between genders and different social backgrounds. For example, 30% of women have reported that they didn't expect motherhood to be this hard, compared with 20% of dads, with 3-in-5 saying they do an "excellent or very good job" at it. We can't help but wonder what their partners think about that.
RELATED:
#2
QuanτumSpace2️⃣3️⃣4️⃣ 2 years ago
Nice parenting trick. I might have to steal that from you whenever I become a parent
WiggleJiggle the Emo Penguin 2 years ago
*me probably not gonna want kids* YAY!!! I get to keep the Oreos!!!
Maggie Marrelli 2 years ago
I wish I had realized that before I had a kid 😜
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Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
Wow that took me a moment...I reverted to my own childhood mind where I would have stuck the whole basket in my closet and would not be lying that I put them away
#3
That Emo Demon 2 years ago
I would just tell them that the Easter bunny ain't real but the ether bunny is!
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Because they're trying to preserve their kids innocence and sense of wonder for a couple more years?
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Laura MG 2 years ago (edited)
When I was 8 my dad told my brother and I that mom was in the hospital because we "fought so much" so of course we were riddled with guilt. She actually had cancer, so I guess our fighting caused that too. Don't lie to your kids
𝕜𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟ᴛʜᴇ𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕕 2 years ago
This reminds me of the time when I was like 7 and my dad told me my mom was dying to guilt me into behaving. My mom is still mad he did that
SickShibaDoomScroller 2 years ago
Sounds like you have a problem, Lady. Try: not yelling at your kids all the damn time? There's better ways.
#5
Do-nut touch da donut 2 years ago
It looks like its farting in the megaphone🤣
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WiggleJiggle the Emo Penguin 2 years ago
Because the less brain cells, the more funny. Anyway tell me if u find my last brain cell, they ran away a few days ago
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James Heinle 2 years ago
My daughter does stuff like this all the time. She has me laughing non stop.
Trophy Husband 2 years ago
A kid that can turn anything into a toy to make more noise! We used to have these plastic microphones that actually muffled the voice so they could tell into it and it was less loud. That was the greatest invention in history...
But becoming a parent comes with great responsibility. Also, with a lot of terrible advice and misconceptions that we can blame on television. "The list is endless when it comes to misconceptions about parenting on TV and in films," Vicki Broadbent, the founder of Honest Mum, a lifestyle and parenting blog, and a mother of three, told Bored Panda.
"I've noticed a culture shift recently, thankfully," Broadbent said, naming Netflix's "Working Moms" as the best example. "But for the most part, the 'fairytales' we're presented with usually start in the delivery room with, 'two pushes and the baby is out' style births. C-sections, PND, breastfeeding, moving from 1-2 or 2-3 plus kids, etc., and the realities of juggling kids with work/relationships are rarely depicted honestly."
#6
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Can we repeat this with loading and unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming and doing the laundry? 😉
Couragetcd 2 years ago
Only if taken outside so rival dad's can see it happening
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sleepyqueen 2 years ago
Your lawn mightnlook the best, for sure. But this dad got the best gardening 😉
#7
Pizzaking, village burner. 2 years ago
Last night when my dad was snoring I thought it was my phone vibrating
#8
simfan all day every day 2 years ago
Dang they have a lost and found fancy mine had the lost and sold section
Tee Rat 2 years ago
Ours was pretty much a lost and I'm taking this home section.
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QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
My son's elementary school had a section of coat hooks outside the library. Anything found left behind got out there. My kid's stuff was there so often, he said he thought that was where his coat hook was. SMH
Meghna Mohan 2 years ago (edited)
My son lost his brand new shirt at school during football practise.i kept telling him to ask his coach to see if he had left it when changing before football class. To teach him importance of safe keeping things safely i didn't buy him a new one. Now that they use ink pens his one shirt had a flurry of ink stains lines, splotches and all. Three days a week of this. His school year photo he has this very shirt on. The next day he comes home with the brand new shirt he lost!!! It was with his coach!!! Neither thought to ask.
One of the most prevalent issues for modern parents is: how can you manage your kids’ screen time in a way that’s good for them? Is it actually possible, or I'm just bribing them with it to carve out some breathing space to get some work done?
Vicki thinks that it's not so black-and-white, when it comes to screen time. "It's far easier to implement a no screen time rule if you wish before they start school," she said, "but it's important to understand using a screen isn't synonymous with bad parenting. Quite the opposite when done in moderation."
#9
Deth Invictus 2 years ago
I have no idea what my dad sounds like but I made sure my children have one.
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Ola Polowczyk 2 years ago
I don't have kids, but I caught myself becoming my mum when I was scrubbing the kitchen floor with a sponge and mumbling to myself "yeah, it will FINALLY be clean, that mop only licks the dirt" 🙈
Julia French 2 years ago
A friend of mine whose whole family i have known since college, recently accused me of sounding like HER mother.
#10
Ralph Kretschmer 2 years ago
Well, back in the seventies, children in my town of 100,000 used to walk alone to the kindergarten. I did this with 4 and a half, a 1 km walk every day.
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
I remember walking to school in first grade. A couple of miles. My 5 year old this morning did not want to play by himself in the backyard. What are we teaching our kids? I'm like, no, you are actually perfectly capable of playing in the backyard by yourself. At 5 we wandered around the neighborhood and asked other kids to play. I made him play back there for 15 minutes. He was quite proud of himself when it was over.
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#11
AnnaRachelle 2 years ago
My daughter is ham and cheese. Never sweets,chocolate etc,just ham and cheese
Although 3-in-5 parents agree that their child spends too much time staring at a screen, according to one of the most comprehensive studies on the subject that examined over 350,000 teenagers, the use of technology was linked to only 0.4% of the total variation in their mental well-being. "Children are learning all the time (and having fun!) from watching age-appropriate content (my daughter, for example, loves the teacher, Mrs. Rachel)," said Broadbent. "Your child will be using screens to learn once they are in school or via their homework."
#12
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
Can confirm, my mom taught 8th grade math, and she legit did that. "You seem to need more attention than I can give you right now, as I have a class to teach, so let's go call your mom."
Risa Jacobson 2 years ago
It was the teacher's mom that was called, not the student's.
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#13
That Emo Demon 2 years ago
I figured it out at 9-10 years old so pretty normal for a kid to still believe at that time.
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James Heinle 2 years ago
A little boy asked his friend if he believed in the devil. His friend said, "No. It's like Santa Claus, it's just your dad."
That Emo Demon 2 years ago
True, Santa is just your dad, and you never know who's pretending to be Satan
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not human 2 years ago
my parents told me the tooth fairy wasn't real when I was 4 as a punishment
malaixa 2 years ago
At least now the Easter Bunny won't have to worry about getting stuck in a chimney. Although I suppose that does raise some questions about how he delivers all those eggs.
Couragetcd 2 years ago
I still wonder how a bunny has access to so many eggs
Load More Replies... simfan all day every day 2 years ago
He isn't wrong most likely just not in the way he is thinking
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
I never believed in the easter bunny but I did santa. Random fact ig
#14
Shark Lady 2 years ago
I once asked why my sister and I didn't share a room, mum's response was "you wouldn't survive " dad's response was "have you met your sister"
Julia Mckinney 2 years ago
Geez, I only had to deal with my youngest sister leading cheers in her sleep (jr. high and senior high school) occasionally. Of course, she was occasnionally obnoxious when awake but then so was I.
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Trophy Husband 2 years ago
I have 4 girls and 1 boy. So obviously the boy gets his own room. But at some point one girl wanted her own room and the other three wanted to be together, so those three share the master bedroom and I'm in a kids room. But 7 in a 4 bedroom house means sacrifice. One of the three is going to college in a little over a year and has made it clear that she wants to live in a dorm, so I keep debating switching at that point, but the two who remain actually have more stuff than I do, so I'm not sure if it makes sense or not.
Lauren S 2 years ago
My friend had that with her daughter. She has twin little sisters who sleep in the same room and mom and dad in the same room. Only her oldest daughter sleeps alone. But her daughter’s comment broke my friend’s heart so guess who slept in mom and dad’s bed that night? She was probably 8 or so at the time.
Vicki suggests that moderation is key when wrestling with the screen time dilemma. "Implement specific tech time periods so your child doesn't rely on tech (and enjoys a full and varied childhood)," she advised, "but don't chastise yourself, or them, for wanting to engage in digital activities - just because you didn't as a child."
#16
Heather W 2 years ago
Not me. I'd just rename it Cofpee and every time I said it in the future my daughter would roll her eyes at me
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Trophy Husband 2 years ago
This wins the "made me laugh while putting the kids to bed" award for the night!
Shayne Randlett 2 years ago
If I could get my kids out of the kitchen by making coffee while I'm cleaning or cooking, I'd be drinking a LOT more coffee than I ever needed
Mojo Flizash 2 years ago
IDK...this seems contrived too. I'm sorry if I seem booboo on this thread.
Cyndielouwhoo 2 years ago
IDK, I always think it sounds like it's peeing :/
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Vicki Doggurl 2 years ago
I wonder how long the 5yo watched the fish before he realized the fish wasn’t blinking, then how long the 5yo waited watching for the elusive blink!
MurderMittens 2 years ago
Fish blink at the same time you do. That's why you can never see them blink.
simfan all day every day 2 years ago
Googled it some fish do blink and some don't now I am concerned for your kids pet fish...
Shark Lady 2 years ago
Not long after my daughter left home I got a cat, which wakes me up between 4-5am. I now have a permanent toddler!
Andrewsarchus42 2 years ago
Awww! Annoying for the parent, but it’s sweet that he was so concerned about his fish <3
Lynn Morello 2 years ago
My cousins kids took their fish out of water because they thought they would drown.
Another great fear of many parents is the so-called 'developmental milestones'. Or skills, like being able to speak or recognize oneself in the mirror/photo, that your little one should develop by a certain age. "I think first-time parents understandably concern themselves with developmental milestones far more than those with more kids," Broadbent explained, "purely because once you've got a child, you realize children are unique and develop at their own pace."
#18
Evan not Hansen 2 years ago
Can confirm I loved my brother when he was brand new but by 6 months I was tired of him. And I think I ran away when my parents told me I'd have a 3rd sibling. (They found me pretty quickly)
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Shark Lady 2 years ago
My older sister asked my mum when I was going back because she didn't want me around anymore. I was only 5 days old at the time and had been at home less than 24 hours.
SheDeM 2 years ago
My firstborn said the same thing about my younger daughter, too. 28 years later, she still stands by that request.
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cadena kuhn 2 years ago
My 2 month old wouldn't stop crying so the 17 yr old asked if we could put her in rice
Rachel Mion 2 years ago
We were foster parents, so my two boys were accustomed to picking up and returning children to DFCS. My older son knocked over my younger one (both biological) and on the way to the ER to have him sewn up, younger kept yelling that he wanted us to take his brother back to DFCS. Sorry darling. He didn't come from there.
Heather W 2 years ago
The youngest of my sisters is 8 years older than me. They told my Mom they didn't need another sister. Then proceeded for the next 6 years to kill me and called me the spawn of Satan. Still love them lol (And by kill me, I mean things like watching when I did stupid dangerous c**p without stopping me, etc)
Anya Beboop 2 years ago
Funny, enough, my younger brother was very troubled as a kid. Violent. Both of us were adopted and yet I never asked if we should fly back to SE Asia to return him to the orphanage. We've been through a lot but around his preteen years we started playing video games together. Now we have one of the best relationships between siblings of the people I know irl.
#19
vogonpoet 2 years ago
My 10 year old. Hates donuts, hot cocoa, and loves vegetables. Doesn't even expect dessert. It's a blessing, but also super weird.
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Must be an alien who infiltrated your family
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Debra Brooks Kapellakis 2 years ago
my one and only grand child, so far, does not like chocolate? ? ?
fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago
Don't worry, it's probably just a phase. I hated cake for the first 6 years of my life
#20
James016 2 years ago
This was my son a couple of weeks ago. I picked him up and asked him what he did in school that day. He said nothing. We get home and I open his home/school communication book and in there is a headteacher award sticker and a copy of the work he produced to win it.
Lea Panthera 2 years ago
This is me. I don't tell my mom things because then she goes to my sister and is like, "See? Your sister did this. Can't you do anything?" 🙄 But I couldn't escape getting into a national honor society because my school emailed my parents, too 😡
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Anya Beboop 2 years ago
My adhd butt would've yelled happily about it the moment I saw my parents.
SnackbarKaat 2 years ago
Every kid in kindergarten after school: mom: did you have a good day in school? Toddler: don't know. Mom: what did you do? Toddler: nothing.
Downunderdude 2 years ago
I dont know if this link will work but it's worth a look on the subject of 'nothing'. https://www.google.com/search?q=song+don%27t+know+nothing&oq=song+don%27t+know+nothing&aqs=chrome..69i57j33i160l2j33i22i29i30l4.17238j0j15&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:6167dfc2,vid:_veIGGP1Uh4
simfan all day every day 2 years ago
To be fair would you tell your mom that you held a predator that was literally risking your life to do it? Ok then
Charity Angel 2 years ago
At that age? Absolutely, because most kids that age don't conceptualise that things might terrify their parents. Stuff in school that is supposed to be there is safe. As an older kid, I'd still probably tell her, because I'm an animal nut, but I'd be sure to tell her there was a band round its snout so it couldn't chomp. (I mean, I'm assuming there was...)
Load More Replies...Understandably, many parents can't help but worry that there might be something wrong with their munchkin. In fact, reportedly nearly 1 in 4 parents say they have worried their child was or might be delayed in their milestones. And only 20% of parents didn't worry about it too much. However, Vicki thinks sometimes it's best to let kids take everything at their own pace.
#21
Ginger Ghost 2 years ago
like the girl who wanted a dead Simba cake so everyone was too sad to eat and she could have it all to herself
not human 2 years ago
somehow I don't think that's as bad cause yk she's a kid. There's cake.
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simfan all day every day 2 years ago
If your a single mother you didn't wrong anywhere. The child reminds me of a childhood friend who wanted her father to be dead because he hurt her mom deeply by leaving
LadyJaye(she/they) 2 years ago
How does this sound a bit like me as a little kid.. I always had a strange understanding and appreciation of death. It was never to sad to me, dying has never scared me or loved ones dying. I miss them but it never made me scared or anything
Patrick Smith 2 years ago
My teenager daughter burst into laughter when Tom Holland's Spider-Man was dusted in Avengers: Infinity War
Em 2 years ago
When my son was still in a walker and bouncer he would laugh anytime someone in person or on TV cried. The first time he done it I wasn't sure if it was a coincidence or not so I rewound the TV back to the crying scene and he busted out laughing again lol. Luckily he grew out of it!
#22
Ali H M Salehuddin 2 years ago
Me, while wearing giant slippers.. YOU!! Bored Panda readers, GET OFF YOUR SCREENS!!!
Lene 2 years ago
My girls recently had a friend over. They are 4-5 years old. They sat and watched some tv show together and the friend kept yelling that my girs should be quiet because he couldn't hear what they said on the show and that they should move cos he couldn't see a damned thing. It sounded very grown up-like so I thought it'd be fun to tell his mum when she came to pick him up. She looked shocked, then embarrassed and THEN we all laughed at it. Haha :)
#23
Claire Ferguson 2 years ago
My 4 year old daughter is convinced her middle name is "is a princess" it's Isabel but "I don't go ding ding mummy"
Sarel Seerower 2 years ago
I've never thought of this when hearing that name!
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Erjenn Rejano 2 years ago
I have two middle names, and my full first name is long too, so when I'm in trouble, they just yell the word for child in Tagalog. And I'm 34
PunnyPanda 2 years ago
That was the best advice about naming kids I ever got- lie on your bed, in the dark, then scream all 3 names as loud and angry as you can and see if they work together, lol.
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
As a child my mom called my first and middle name so much that I became immune to it. She advanced though and called me a variation of my middle name and that got my attention because I passionately hated it. "That's not my name!", "well then you should've answered when I called your actual name"
Karina 2 years ago
my son has no middle name (neither does his dad, or I myself) So when I call him with more force, I use the name of a cartoon duck I watched as a kid. Always fun when in public, because this "middle name" ist quite ridiculous. and of course people my age know the name, which is also quite unique 😀
Katrina Gibson 2 years ago
Luckily I've name my kids with middle names that roll off the tongue and and easy to hear a floor away or from the window to a sidewalk. Taking voice lessons as a kid and got the breathing and longevity down.
Anya Beboop 2 years ago
I think I was given the full name maybe 2 times in my life. But I was a very well-behaved kid until 16. Then it was a matter of power struggle, but not because of my misbehavior.
Susan Bosse 2 years ago
30 years ago, I worked in medical records at a hospital and a baby was named Timber Ree. I think of that often and wonder what the neighbors thought when her mom was calling her to come in the house. "Timberrrrrrrrr!!" Side note: strangely enough, I came across her name again 21 years later on the front page of the paper when she was shot during a drug robbery gone wrong. So there's that.
"On the whole, growth charts and milestones are a guide, not a rule," she told. "A preoccupation with a child sleeping through the night in his or her cot, for example, can lead to greater stress for the parent when life is hard enough. Yes, keep an eye on these things but don't become obsessed."
#24
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
I see nothing interesting here. She likes to lay in bed on days off but she has something she wants to do therefore gets up earlier?
The Other Guest 2 years ago
That was my thought as well. It seems perfectly normal for her to get up early to do something she enjoys as opposed to being bright-eyed and bushy-tailed on a school morning.
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Joe Standford 2 years ago
Have you seen the homework schools require now? I wouldn't be surprised if she's up until 2 or 3 in the morning doing homework. Let the teens sleep!
Jen Mart 2 years ago
We never finish many, because cats. But I love how they sit inside the puzzle box
Load More Replies... Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
Should be so happy she wants to do a puzzle instead of social media.
#25
Julia Mckinney 2 years ago
When mine were little, I could keep them busy sometimes by making them look for the tunnel in the backyard. You know, the one that all kinds of magical creatures came out of in the night time stories I made up for them.
simfan all day every day 2 years ago
If they find a rabbit and catch it do they get to keep it?
Lazy Panda 2 years ago
That's a good one. Who knows, maybe one will jump in out of the woods.
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Arlen Bello Ramos 2 years ago
LOL omg this got me on the floor rolling omg i feel so bad
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O-O 2 years ago
yeah my parents were like "now you have more holidays to study for end of years. You need to get the full marks. When i was in school i always got full marks and I was top of my class of 50 students"
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Lynn Morello 2 years ago
I would have loved that. I was one of those weird kids who loved Maths so much in school, when I skipped classes, I always made sure I didn't skip Maths.
When you become a parent, many moms and dads can't stress enough the fact that they might be underprepared. And advice from ones who've been in the post long enough to offer you tips to make it easier usually is no help at all. "Every single piece of advice is [terrible] for new parents. In my experience, people just wanted to tell you how it was for them," one VICE columnist wrote. "It’s the 'absolute' people that make me the most angry—like it’s all-natural or all-medical, and no matter what you choose, you’re a [jerk] parent."
#27
Heather W 2 years ago
Oh, man. When my daughter was 3 and had her first radiation appointment (brain cancer. she's 18 now and cancer free yay!) I told daycare she couldn't eat before I picked her up that morning. They found her eating raisins. Which they hadn't served in a while. My child can apparently hunt down food like a pig looking for truffles.
Christof Irran 2 years ago
My dad told us once that when we were little he saw brownish spit all over the chin of the (then) youngest of us and couldn't remember having given us chocolate. So he investigated what it was that the youngest was chewing on, and guess what it was... Maikaefer-...d07e31.jpg 
Mickie Shea 2 years ago
When my daughter left home we found piles of our missing plates and glasses under her bed, plus some moldy stuff.
Katrina Gibson 2 years ago
This made me laugh so hard!!! I've been there. Like cool, you are eating my leftovers... wait, what?
#28
StitchIsCuteAndFluffy 2 years ago
I did this all the time when I was little. Scooch in between my parents whenever I couldn’t sleep or had a nightmare or just wanted cuddles. I’d push them apart so I could fit inside the small bed. There really wasn’t enough room for 3, but oh well.
AnnaRachelle 2 years ago
I have this issue also! Had a double,thought a King-size would be better,yet I still end up on the edge of the bed. She is 3
#29
VeryDarkMatter 2 years ago
clearly guilty. I heard the US prisons are terrible.. should have known better than to mess up the pancakes 🤔
Vicki, who's been a mother long enough to know what to suggest for other soon-to-be parents, says that "trusting your gut" is one of the most important things to remember. "This will never fail you and never fear you are wasting a medical professional's time if you are worried for the wellbeing of your child," she explained. "You know your child best. Please remember that. You are wired to understand their needs from day one."
#30
fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago
Me who just turned 16: soon I'll be 7 and won't have to worry about my mental health!
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delightfuldragon 2 years ago
My son who has Down Syndrome did this! He blew out his birthday candles and announced, "I'm almost 19". Argh! 😆😆
Anya Beboop 2 years ago
Gen Z and younger are doing this a lot. When I talk to a 20 year old that goes " Yeah I'm dying soon I'm so old." I just nearly fall over.
Vaa10 2 years ago
Yeah, that's me. I'm turning 20 this week and I'm feeling like an elderly
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Samsquatch 2 years ago
When I was younger I thought once you turn twelve you get a car and a house and get married and get a job and don’t have to do school anymore….
crowspectre (he/they) 2 years ago
I'm fourteen so therefore I'm about to be a legal adult and soon I'll be able to drink
#31
#32
Zoey Rayne 2 years ago
It came out in 1988; it was already a decade old when my sister and I watched it as kids. -a millennial
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
Feeling a little old since I was born in 83 and watched it when it came out
Verified Loser 2 years ago
Six years before I was born and still one of my absolute favorite movies...
Marley Wilson 2 years ago
dude when did being 16 and that being your child hood make you old 💀💀💀
Evan H 2 years ago
My kids won't sit through any hand-animated movies, not even The Little Mermaid. To be fair, they look like **** compared to modern CG animated movies. Hand-painted animation cels composited on film lacks the vibrant color gamut of digital media. Disney has tried to filter and jack up the color saturation of their classic movies, but the processing destroys any fine detail. No offense to the animators - incredible skill went into making those movies, it's entirely a technology problem.
#33
Anya Beboop 2 years ago
That's actually really cute, despite being woken up early. Frustrating, sure.
QuanτumSpace2️⃣3️⃣4️⃣ 2 years ago
Nice. You get the kids up, and have them do the work for you
Nikole 2 years ago (edited)
No. The kid woke the mom up early to hunt for Easter eggs (which she had already hidden). When finished, the kid hid the eggs again so when his dad woke up later at his own leisure, the dad wouldn’t miss out on watching the kid find the eggs. I guess it’s nice for the dad, but…
Load More Replies... Trophy Husband 2 years ago
I don't pretend there is a real bunny involved. I got plastic eggs with stuff in them, give them to the older kids, and they hide them while telling the little ones to stay out. No work for me, I just get to watch the hunt. Then for a few days after, the little two set up their own hunts for each other. Eventually they lose interest and I get to throw away the eggs, which are mostly broken by that time.
Monique Rosewood 2 years ago
In a way, it's just the kid saying because you're his security he's going to wake you up. It's also a sweet gesture towards dad
#34
StitchIsCuteAndFluffy 2 years ago
I don’t have a little brother, but if I did I’d be blissfully ignorant. (I’m deaf, wear Cochlear Implants, but not at night. I wouldn’t hear a thing.)
#35
Mickie Shea 2 years ago
If we were not seated for dinner when mom served, the food would sit and grow cold until dinner was over then into the reserve container.
JustSittingandScroling 2 years ago
I just had to do that these past 2 days. We call it fend for yourselves dinner
Ari Conway 2 years ago
I don’t know when it happened but my mom doesn’t make breakfast or lunch anymore. sometimes we get dinner tho lol
simfan all day every day 2 years ago
Older children HA I was a latchkey child, I was 9 or 10 and was responsible for dinner most of the time Mac and cheese, hotdogs, or pasta was dinner most nights. On rare occasion my parents got home before 7 they took us to mc Donald's or if they were very daring a actual restaurant
#36
RandomEpiBioPerson 2 years ago
I'm the USA, a high school kid can't even accidentally knock on the wrong front door of a house, looking for their little brother anyone without getting shot, so having more precautions now makes sense.
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
I agree. My 5 year old is allowed to ride his scooter, alone, to both ends of the block. No street crossing. Neighbors thought he was feral. No- just want to encourage some independence and confidence here.
Load More Replies... Printerman 2 years ago
I walked to grade school most days (weather permitting). It was only 3 blocks away. Much faster if you cut through 4 yards on the way. Much slower if the little Corgie near school was out on his lead though, lol.
Lynn Morello 2 years ago
I remember riding our go-cart down the Hill, (Main Street) crossed 2 streets on the way down and ended on a busy main road at the bottom by the park. I still to this day don't know how we ever survived without being hit by any vehicles.
#37
Jungle Empress 85 2 years ago
No offense to parents, but I much prefer having cats climbing on me. 😺
#39
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
Are you kidding? *takes notes*. This is INSPIRED!!!
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2CentSally 2 years ago
Plot twist, science project is actually due on Monday, everyone thinks it's a prank because they all already forgot about it
#40
Kathleen Pearlman 2 years ago
My 3 year old went to the viewing at my grandmother's funeral. She said she was in a nice suitcase - that comes from telling her that grandma was going to heaven and leaving her body. Apparently, she thought Grandma would be taking her body along for the trip.
#41
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
My nephew used to think it was absolutely hilarious to feed me by hand 😂
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Mostly because they decided they don't like it. If they do like something good luck getting it out of their food trap
Precious Cooper 2 years ago
Oh my God I just had a flashback of a still warm soggy cheese doodle my daughter shared... Sheesh I swear I just trembled and got teary eyed... Traumatized for life
#42
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
I'm at 3, but with my parents. I genuinely can't remember the last time someone else put a dish in the dishwasher, let alone emptied it.
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Dawn Marie 2 years ago
Stage 4 to a 29 year old. But, to be fair, she is in the seminary for her Divinity Degree to be a Pastor in the Methodist Church. She is also working full time as a youth minister. That has always been her dream. The point of this little story? You will always be the parent and even when the are "grown", they will still need you. You may not understand that now, but as an empty nester of 3, that is a wonderful feeling!!
StitchIsCuteAndFluffy 2 years ago
6. Snuggle buddy. That one never changes, even if all the others do.
Load More Replies... Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago (edited)
Still the chick's (1 3/4) maid. Chick throws something on the floor: 'Maaama, pick up!'
#43
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago (edited)
I hate it that teeth are considered a luxury, even though they’re part of your body. At least tuition fees (edit: university fees) in Germany are 150€ (about 150usd) per semester- so 300€ for 12 months.
GrowingThruConcrete 2 years ago
For comparison, we're sending my daughter to college here in the US, and after $21,000 (19,086 Euro) of student aid, still have to pay $7000 (6,362 Euro) out of pocket per semester 😑
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Mojo Flizash 2 years ago
I hate being American because our health is a luxury and sold to the highest bidder. Our Education System is also broken. TrumpThumpingBumpkins... Come At Me.
RandomEpiBioPerson 2 years ago
Healthcare and braces can be very expensive in the USA. So is higher education (university). The OP is implying that since all three need braces, they are going to have to spend the money they were saving to send the kids to college on braces, instead of sending them to college.
Load More Replies... Verified Loser 2 years ago
When I was 15 I needed 3 separate dentists to approve me for braces because of our insurance... The last prick suggested daily headgear -_- My teeth are still messed up, but at least I didn't walk around school for 18 months with a band around my head and my mouth wide open.
#44
SheDeM 2 years ago
I once got a ticket for speeding (31 in a 25 LOL) because my 4 y/o and her preschool friend were arguing about whose duckie had the best feather in its back.
Trophy Husband 2 years ago
I got pulled over because my tail lights were out. Office asks me to walk to the back of the car with him, so I tell the kids to stay buckled. My kids thought I had been arrested and they were supposed to sit in the car until their mom drove over to pick them up from my car on the side of the highway at 11pm. They were very happy when I got back in the car.
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maxwel lee 2 years ago
they are also for paramedics if there was an accident to alert them that there is a child in the vehicle
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
If my chick is left alone in the back she'll screech like a banshee. I'm not driving her on my own, I value my life too much for that. Hope this'll pass when she turns 2
Erica Knapp 2 years ago
I just saw a bumper sticker that said "no, I'm not drunk. I'm trying to pass snacks to the hella kids up in this b*tch!" Lol
River wolf 2 years ago
My mom once got a ticket a block away from home (literally a block from a house in a suburban neighborhood) for speeding when my brother had to use the bathroom and we were coming home from school. We never even knew that there was a speed limit sign there.
Katrina Gibson 2 years ago
I had honestly thought for years that bumper sticker was about the husband. Once I became a mom I understood it was about the whole family.
#45
not your average weirdo 2 years ago
Lol I’m at the age where I can take part in adult conversations, but most of the time we’re all just screaming at each other.
#46
ί𝔫ＣίŦᵃт𝐔𝐬 2 years ago
At my school the 6rh graders have entire units on taxes, finances, shopping for and financing a car responsibly, it's awesome.
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Cynthia Carter 2 years ago
Savings accounts used to give 5% interest 50 years ago. Now it's 0.30% No wonder we're all so grumpy.
not your average weirdo 2 years ago
I’m in 8th and we learned about investing, doing taxes, and buying insurance
Printerman 2 years ago
Best I can do is feigned interest in your 3-hour explanation of dinosaur feathers.
#47
Hono Klatuu 2 years ago
Ah yes, and yard sale where they drag all the toys back in including the ones from when they were babies
Lene 2 years ago
That's one reason that it's a good idea to have a nisse living in your home for the entire year. This also applies to empty candy wrappings the kids find. And if something they really want to have is suddenly not anywhere visible (usually in a parent's pocket or, if parent is sitting, behind parent).
#48
Vicki Doggurl 2 years ago
It’s worth it when they give you a hug and tell you that they love you!
Load More Replies... Nosirrow 2 years ago
I remember a parent moaning at the beginning of Corona that it's inhumane to force parents to be with kids all the time. Don't have them, then, dummy.
RandomEpiBioPerson 2 years ago
Yea. I remember hearing that and there being way too many tiktoks, memes, and just general "jokes" being made repeatedly by people, to the point where some people were making so many "jokes", it just started seeming like the people weren't actually joking, and I'm pretty sure there are many that weren't.
Load More Replies... RandomEpiBioPerson 2 years ago
Like I always say, kids are so much better when you can give them back. That is why I am an uncle and not a father.
#49
Sasy 2 years ago
the dad is testing the child because why on earth would anyone want something to do while sleeping, it could not possibly be his child, he seems far too motivated :)
Ace 2 years ago
Thank you for the explanation. Without that I would have had no idea what this was all about.
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Jungle Empress 85 2 years ago
My brain is very active while I'm sleeping. Sometimes I come up with ideas for Minecraft.
#50
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Isn't the best way to make a teenager listen to say "wait here your father/mother and I have to go into the other room to talk"?
Arunika R. 2 years ago
As a teenager, if your teenager cannot give you even the basic respect of taking out their headphones while you talk, you got an ill mannered kid
YetAnotherSarah 2 years ago
aka a teenager. Kids gotta be retaught to be human on the daily.
Load More Replies... Cynthia Carter 2 years ago (edited)
Just as well Ulta didn't exist in my youth, made do with Walgreens until I was 24 then discovered department store makeup counters. Now, 50 years on, I can't be bothered with any of it. The prices have gotten ridiculous.
Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc 2 years ago
Fun fact, despite being a teenage girl, this would NOT work for me :)
JustSittingandScroling 2 years ago
haha same, I gotta hear food related or mall
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#51
#52
Dobs Place 2 years ago
I'll take that any day over raising one who thinks EVERYONE is interested in them!
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
I'm sure they know what that means, but they are wondering about the deeper context. As in she's interested in him. Or maybe one of her friends is interested in him and she's asking on their behalf. Or just "why does she want to know I'm single" because he's not interested in dating.
Load More Replies... Joe Standford 2 years ago
Perhaps he just wanted to know what the word single means? Because 16 year old usually ask if they have a girlfriend.
simfan all day every day 2 years ago
Apparently, and I would venture a guess a decent lier since you asked this question. He prob has 5 or 6 girls in his phone but NO CLUE what to do with it
#53
Andy Gibbesh 2 years ago
Not this dad. I refuse to acknowledge that 5 AM exists. 5 PM is the only 5:00
#54
#55
Heather W 2 years ago
Ah, reminds me of the year my Dad got in trouble with Mom. He convinced me Santa would prefer a beer and chips. He didn't think I'd actually put that out lol
Cappuccino (She/Him) 2 years ago
This sounds like in Calvin and Hobbes when the dad said “I think Santa will prefer a beer”
Heather W 2 years ago
I was about 6 and predate that comic by many years. Lucky for me, Mom didn't blame me. But I still remember hearing "John! What the h*ll did you tell her?"
Load More Replies... simfan all day every day 2 years ago
Ah yes I remember the year I was convinced of this and right before I was allowed outside a bunny ate my mom's bouquet in front of her. Never heard my mom yell at a imaginary creature like she did that Easter bunny.
#56
#57
Tuesday's child 2 years ago
I remember playing restaurant and making the prices ridiculously high
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
Last time we played, my nephew was charging me $1 to $5 for food and his mom $100 to $500 😂 he found it hilarious when his mom questioned the prices and kept price gouging her
#58
HalcyonVampire 2 years ago
That's okay! Some people just don't like onions 😊
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Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
I think the mom was trying to say that the sliver got into the kid's food accidentally and SHE didn't notice it but HE did, not that she was trying to trick him into eating onion.
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Geoffrey Scott 2 years ago
Used to do a treasure hunt, placing 4 or 5 clues around the house ultimately leading to the basket. Amazing kids don't know where some things are they walk by every day.
#60
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
That's why I put my 'outdoors' clothes on at the last possible minute
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
I don't have kids but I have dogs. I always use a no-spill tumbler for my coffee because they made me spill coffee way too many times
#61
simfan all day every day 2 years ago
He will find the dark side soon enough yes soon enough he will find the dark side
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#65
simfan all day every day 2 years ago
Hike those glasses a bit higher would yah
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#66
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Thankfully I'm still the one dressing the little chick. I make her look as adorable as I want to as long as it lasts lol
Shark Lady 2 years ago
My kid is 23 and still tries to tell me what I'm not allowed to wear when I'm out with her.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
Only an a*****e teen. Or my parents dress well enough idk
#67
#68
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
Ok but I get that. If people r there when I'm cleaning I physically can't do it
simfan all day every day 2 years ago
Is she actually cleaning if so how I'm lost I never learned this skill
#69
Vicki Doggurl 2 years ago
Oops! At least you didn’t wake them up! They were up at 7:15, I’d imagine!
#70
Rebelliousslug 2 years ago
My parents literally had to wake me up to eat from the first day home from the hospital. I believe in comparison I have been the “easy” kid in the 43+ years since.
#71
Rebelliousslug 2 years ago
And someone you are responsible for is literally on the verge of death and in need of fluids and candy to survive
#72
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Vicki Doggurl 2 years ago
Sounds like!! I played D&D monopoly with my parents on New Year’s Eve and my dad and I got into a fight. Lol.
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Geoffrey Scott 2 years ago
Oh...I thought they were the ones pulled from lost and found all winter.
#78
Tuesday's child 2 years ago
Mouth wash in the freezer? Totally not taking notes for prank ideas
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
Alcohol content is too high—it won't freeze (but when you spit mouth wash on a bonfire, it is pretty spectacular).
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#79
#80
Tuesday's child 2 years ago
Hmm I wonder why the ice cream is cold 🥶. Maybe it was in the freezer?
simfan all day every day 2 years ago
My favorite when ice cream is just like frothy and delicious
Patti Disbennet 2 years ago
Our newest "Captain Obvious"! My husband is Captain Obvious at our house. I had to find something to say so it's, "Thank you, Captain Obvious" instead of the blank looks I used to give him (sometimes with an eye roll).
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
Or help the kid by telling them to get something to wrap around the cone so they don't freeze their delicate hands because they're 4?
#81
#82
simfan all day every day 2 years ago
This happened a lot for me, in retrospect it wouldnt of if my parents didn't get me scared to leave my bad. If they were just like if you need water you can get it, I don't think I ever would of asked for water. But it was the rare occasion where my parents love was shown by me being scared of the previous night's dream or getting yelled at for getting something
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#86
Lauren S 2 years ago
My kid got a cupcake at his last baseball game today. He has not yet eaten it and keeps saying he will want it later. I’m about ready to go to the grocery store to pick up cupcakes so I can have one too! 🧁
Lauren S 2 years ago
Update: I ate the cupcake. My child has not noticed. Shh 🤫 🧁 It was delicious.
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#87
Verinder of the Valley 2 years ago
when I was little, I used to make flower soups and potions, and me and my sisters would either anoint one another with it in a game, or drink it, also a game. Sometimes, we would bring them to our parents and they would pretend to take a sip. We'd be absolutely fooled, and become convinced we were master chefs, amidst much giggling and squealing.
#88
Paul Brown 2 years ago
My 4 yo grandson who lives with me says it to me all the time. He got it from watching YouTube videos of people playing Roblox.
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
Nephew just turned 5 and he's been saying it. It's hilarious hearing him say it
#89
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
If not pretend the Easter Bunny came back at night to take back all it's eggs
#90
Miss Mali 2 years ago
U let her have a boy in her room with a closed door???? Has parenting changed in the last 12 years since mine was 12????
Lama 2 years ago
It's called trust. Teach your kid trust and boundaries, and they will make better decisions than when you teach rules and policing. (Not saying no rules at all, kids need rules.)
Load More Replies... James Heinle 2 years ago
I feel you're pain. My oldest is 23 and having her first. I'm excited to be a grandpa but sad that she grew up.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
Or maybe they're talking about how so many people assume that boy+girl=romance-
Rebelliousslug 2 years ago
I wasn’t allowed to have a boy in my room with the door closed when I was 5. At 12 my parents would’ve been knocking the whole door down. And knocking first??? What??? No way!!
#91
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mysterious 2 years ago
Yes, because if I go to bed I miss out on important things, like sitting in the living room, doing nothing.
#96
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
If someone started rolling around on the floor screeching and flailing because they're tired and won't admit it... I'd call the ambulance 😂
#100
Joe Standford 2 years ago
Because they were up ton 3 am doing unnecessary homework, you're welcome
#101
#102
Lauren S 2 years ago
Oh goodness I feel this. I love my kid to bits but he has so much energy it’s insane. This morning his baseball coach commented she didn’t want to warm the kids up too much before the game because she didn’t want to wear them out. I was confused and commented my kid never runs out of energy. She’s like, “oh yes, I know. I didn’t mean him. He never complains and is always ready to go. The other kids start saying they’re hot and tired and start playing in the dirt.” But my kid is in love with baseball. He put on his dad’s glove this morning and it was bigger than his head! So stinking cute.
#103
James Heinle 2 years ago
Like the old commercial. "You have a call from Bobwehadababiyitsaboy."
Kathleen Pearlman 2 years ago
A soldier at Ft. Campbell once showed a friend and me how to make a collect call. He called his mom's home and asked for himself. When they replied he wasn't there, he told them to give him the message that he was okay, he'd gotten there fine.
#105
Lauren S 2 years ago
My 6 yo just lost his first tooth, we’ve had a lot of tooth fair conversations. He was very puzzled how she can get the tooth and leave money under his pillow without waking him. He also wants to know how she gets in the house in the first place. But at least we had just read a Junie B Jones book about losing a tooth to answer the question of why the tooth fairy takes teeth (it’s to give the baby teeth to babies, her baby brother cut his first tooth when she lost hers).
#106
Ivona 2 years ago
Why give the child a sweet sandwich when a savory one would be much better? There are many ways to make a tasty sandwich - some butter or margarine on the bread, some cheese, maybe some cold cuts, and a slice of tomato.
Heather W 2 years ago
At age 3 if you offered my child a sandwich with tomato on it she would have tried to shank you.She still gives me the death glare if I even mention her trying a tomato lol
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Vicki Doggurl 2 years ago
It’s a ‘make eggs pretty and colorful and sparkly and fun party!! I like to gently crack parts of the egg shell before I dye them. That way the egg whites are colorful too!!
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
'It's a heathen ritual of fertility and procreating like the proverbial bunnies! 🐰'
#108
Skater Chick 2 years ago
for me, it's isaiah. kids will be like "did you hear what Isaiah did today?" and I'll ask which one. they try to describe him but they're all short, they all have curly perms, their hair either is black or was black, and almost all of them have the last name of thomas
Geoffrey Scott 2 years ago
When my kids were little it was Ashley's...TONS of them.
Load More Replies... James Heinle 2 years ago
For some reason my 6yr old has nothing but Braden, Aiden or Jaden in her class.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
When I was in year 8 I made a list of how many people I knew with the same name. There were 6 Chris', 6 Daniels, 5 Emmas etc
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago (edited)
In the queer community stg the most popular name is Ash- is that just me because ~4 people I have known or do know have changed their name to Ash
#110
#111
Geoffrey Scott 2 years ago
Since my job entails trying to sanitize the building after school, I always feel defeated when there is a flu outbreak.
#113
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Lauren S 2 years ago
Mine does. And jumps from couch to couch. But I live in AZ so indoor activities can get “active” when it’s too hot to play outside.
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#118
Pan Narrans 2 years ago
The old dad joke was that you should always have at least two kids for the best parenting. The idea being that you could bang their heads together when they misbehave.
#119
Rebelliousslug 2 years ago
Loop holes of parenting. We need to have a book published with this information.
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#125
Vicki Doggurl 2 years ago (edited)
I just googled it. It’s cute! Thank you for sharing it! https://youtu.be/BuJwhZZEw5w
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#129
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
It's just a slang term, possibly from the words 'wiener' and 'penis', at least according to Wikipedia
Load More Replies... Vicki Doggurl 2 years ago
Try offering your kids money or something valuable to them (no chores for a week!) if they can lick their wenis! It’ll keep them busy for a while. It’s impossible to lick your elbow. Unless you’re double jointed in your should! Lol!
mysterious 2 years ago
Discovered this information in middle school. "Wenis Tag" was a thing, and it was the worst thing since the "What Game" in elementary school.
#132
J W 2 years ago
Fried in peanut oil? Sorry but that's not really fun for a lot of others (and me) who are "surprised" by an allergen to fried in peanut oil. So many oils to choose from. Sucks to be m I guess.
Biofish23 2 years ago
Peanut oil is very commonly used in deep fryers. The good news is it is so highly refined all the peanut protein has been removed and it is safe for the vast majority of people with peanut allergies.
Load More Replies... Vicki Doggurl 2 years ago
When my kid was a pre-schooler they would eat like five French fries but like a cup of ketchup. Using the fries as the vehicle to get the ketchup to the mouth, many times until the fry would fall apart. Then repeat the process until the provided ketchup was gone.
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
When my friends brother was little he did the same thing 😂 he has down syndrome and autism and is non verbal. Little jerk always gave me the side eye and never interacted with me when I came over; you would've thought i was his enemy the way he acted around me but its just how he was with people outside of immediate family (didnt matter he knew me his whole life and saw him like every other day). When I handed him a bag of ketchup potato chips, then I was his friend and got hugs and he'd actually sit next to me. Kids are funny
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#134
Vicki Doggurl 2 years ago
Lol!! My older brother would charge us a real dollar to poke around in our moths. He wanted to be a dentist AND an archaeologist!! I think he was looking for the “gold” teeth he had heard some people have. I was 8yo at the time.
Kathleen Pearlman 2 years ago
When I worked at a library a bunch of kids would come in. When we asked for their card, they'd say they forgot and give us a name. Another kid, another time, would take out a book and do the same thing - with the same name. After the third or fourth kid, we asked if they were related to "same name". They said yeah, it was his library card, the rest of them didn't have one. Needless to say, we issued cards to all the kids in that family.
#135
NonbinaryIdiot 2 years ago
I’m not a mom and I like cleaning if I can put on my headphones and do it on my own
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James016 2 years ago
We were on holiday in Spain recently so here are some from my son. He calls palm trees holiday trees which is sweet. He only ever sees them when we are abroad. In the hotel he went up to a man who was clearly over 70 years old and said hello. The man said hello to my son. My son the asks “How old are you? Are you 36 years old?” The man laughs and says that he is 36. My son: “I’m 8 and we need to go to the lift”. Another time we were in the lift and there was another family in there as well with a buggy. The lift stops at another floor and as the door opens so more people get on, he says “ Uh-uh, I’m sorry we are too busy in this lift”. The people waited for the next lift. And finally one day at breakfast he starts singing “nippleboobs” quite loudly and then proudly asks us if he sang the nippleboob song.
thatbisexualtacocat 2 years ago
I really shouldn't have laughed, but I did
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James016 2 years ago
We were on holiday in Spain recently so here are some from my son. He calls palm trees holiday trees which is sweet. He only ever sees them when we are abroad. In the hotel he went up to a man who was clearly over 70 years old and said hello. The man said hello to my son. My son the asks “How old are you? Are you 36 years old?” The man laughs and says that he is 36. My son: “I’m 8 and we need to go to the lift”. Another time we were in the lift and there was another family in there as well with a buggy. The lift stops at another floor and as the door opens so more people get on, he says “ Uh-uh, I’m sorry we are too busy in this lift”. The people waited for the next lift. And finally one day at breakfast he starts singing “nippleboobs” quite loudly and then proudly asks us if he sang the nippleboob song.
thatbisexualtacocat 2 years ago
I really shouldn't have laughed, but I did
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