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50 Hilarious Memes To Make You Laugh, As Shared On This Popular Instagram Page (New Pics)
If we can help make someone—even a single person—laugh and brighten up their day, we consider that a total win. Laughter brings about a ton of benefits. It helps reduce stress, strengthens our immune systems, and provides us a physical and emotional release. Moreover, it helps distract us from unpleasant things (hello, inflation), gives us a more lighthearted perspective during hard times, and even helps us connect with others. Luckily, there’s plenty of laughter to be found online. And one popular Instagram account is a goldmine of hilarity.
‘The Funny Introvert’ boasts 2.7 million followers and brings brilliant bits of comedy to people’s feeds around the globe. And though some of the jokes, memes, and social media posts might be partly related to introversion, there’s no real unifying theme: the Instagram page collects awesome jokes on a wide variety of topics. The name of the account refers more to the founder of the awesome project than the content itself.
We’ve collected their best posts to share with you, so go on, Pandas, scroll down and have yourself a good giggle. Upvote the pics that made you laugh the most. And if you enjoyed the gags, send them to your pals to brighten up their day. Oh, and if you’re in need of a second pick-me-up, you’ll find Bored Panda’s earlier article about the humorous ‘The Funny Introvert’ project right here.
Bored Panda was curious about the shortening lifespan of online trends, why certain things become part of internet culture and others don't, and how mass access to the net has changed our lives, so we reached out to pop culture and entertainment expert Mike Sington, from LA. Read on to see what he told us.
More info: Instagram | TheFunnyIntrovert.com
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Celia McReynolds Tinsley 3 years ago
You actually made me laugh with this!
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Susan Bosse 3 years ago
At least. And that could be spread across two days.
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Josie Bisbano 3 years ago
I just did this while scrolling through BP and watching RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars.
"Internet and social media trends are much more short-lived today then they were a decade ago because the sheer volume of them has increased so tremendously," pop culture expert Mike agreed with Bored Panda that trends don't last as long as they used to in the past.
"Our attention is being bombarded by internet trends constantly now from multiple platforms. As humans we have a finite ability to focus, which limits how much time a trend will last," he said.
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#2
Firstname Lastname 3 years ago
Reading this at 4am on my day off bc my body doesn't want to sleep. Irony hurts.
Someone Somewhere 3 years ago
Fell asleep on the couch, got in the bed and stayed up for eight hours
Sarah Ryan 3 years ago
I feel this M-F when my alarm goes off! Friday nights I think I get to sleep in, except I'm up earlier than I am M-F, WT actual heck is this nonsense. Sorcery I tell you
unfilteredCigarette73 3 years ago
Nah, you're just a secret morning person, you just don't realize it yet 😉
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#3
Argle Bargle 3 years ago
Followed by 'oh, i've got so much time to get ready', but still end up in a mad panic and turn up late
Susan Bosse 3 years ago
I'm so awful at this. The more time I have, the later I am.
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Susan Bosse 3 years ago
It completely deflates me. I will even reschedule them only to torture myself another day. Can't explain it.
François Carré 3 years ago
And maybe the appointment will only last less than 1 hour, but it's enough to let you stressing and overthinking and ruin your whole day, and it's standing like a dark, insurmountable wall between you now and the blessed moment when you can go to bed tonight.
Featherytoad 3 years ago (edited)
Exactly, that's why I make all my appointments as early in the morning as I can. I never make afternoon appointments unless it's an emergency and I can't put it off.
Zophra 3 years ago
Me too! Me too! Then I don't feel like the rest of the day has to be scheduled around the appointment.
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Hill Branda 3 years ago
I will make the appointment and even show up early, but will be stressed about it all day. Do I know how to get there? What if there's traffic? Where do I park? What if I get lost? Let me check Google Maps all freaking day so I can second-guess myself and worry about it.
Blackstone 3 years ago (edited)
I suddenly feel understood. Not knowing exactly where to go and what to expect is seriously so stressful. I will streetview every new place I have to go so I know what the entrances and exits look like and the parking. Then I'll trace the road back to the previous intersection, so I'll know when to start looking for the destination. It really helps a lot. Went to a new place on Friday and I'm so very glad I'd done this because they had one way exits and entrances to the parking lot and the entrance was somewhat hidden. Thankfully I knew what to look for because I'd done the streetview thing.
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Jo Gabriel 3 years ago
I'm so happy to read all of these comments!! I'm just the same! I book stuff early in the day to get it over with. But i have to book in advance. I need to know in advance that i'll have to get proper clothes on and have a shower etc. I can't do spontaneous s**t! It stresses me out!
Issey 3 years ago
This can be a sign of depression. I have clinical depression - and an appointment outside of my daily routine makes me stress out about it hours before it actually happens. And afterward, once I am back home, I need a long time to relax. Even if the appointment was not necessarily stressful from a rational standpoint, it still leaves me drained.
We were interested to get Mike's opinion on why certain things end up being integral and long-lasting parts of internet culture while others are forgotten as quickly as they are posted.
Here's what he had to say: "For something to become part of internet culture, it has to resonate with us almost immediately. Something humorous or inspiring will most often do it today because people are craving moments of happiness and inspiration."
Meanwhile, anything less lighthearted can end up being ignored. "Serious content is more likely to be filed to the back of our brain, with 'an I’ll get to that later' attitude."
#4
BrookeBT 3 years ago
I spent months putting all my CD's onto my computer. It died. I lost 30,000 songs. Had to sign up for spotify. I had to call my friend to ask him what music I like because I was so lost. White canvas.
Anthony Nizza 3 years ago
Omg that's awful!!! Right I can't remember all the songs I like! It was so much nicer and easier with albums, yeah I'm old lol
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Mary Rogers 3 years ago
With the state of my brain I am pretty sure it would just give me error codes.
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Monique Reed 3 years ago
Arrgh! What was that movie? You know, the one with that guy..about that thing? The one with the girl?
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago
I know, I know! It was thee same guy who was also in that thing with the car, right? And he had a baby?
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Rowan/Vin 3 years ago
Google won't know the place with the good egg rolls. Not like I do. Google can't still smell the egg rolls 🤤
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Hill Branda 3 years ago
What's the name of the guy I just talked to at work, and he told me his name, but I was so busy thinking of what to say to him so I wouldn't look so dumb, so I forgot his name already and I have to see this guy at work everyday and I still don't his NAME.
#5
flutterbyy 3 years ago
Omg why is this so true? I hate watching movies so much I'd rather read the summary off the Wikipedia, but I'll happily watch a 22-episode long season nonstop.
Sinead Kenny 3 years ago
It's like a book and a movie! They condense a movie but the book has chapters and every chapter brings another part of the story alive. Episodes then seasons do the same. Where as a 90 min movie cannot. Hence we will head to work sleep deprived after bingeing a series but will fall asleep 10 mins into an epic movie at 7pm 💤💤 and oh how I love them naps before bed.
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Firstname Lastname 3 years ago
Episodes have built in potty breaks. I'd rather hold it until the end of the episode than try to pause in the middle of a scene.
Sherilynne DeMaio 3 years ago
This is me. It's 7AM and I haven't been to sleep and it's the fault of 6 episodes of Aliens in Alaska!!
Luna Lovegood for Justice 3 years ago
Because with movies you don't have motivation to watch it with show you have to know what happens next
#6
Marie Dahme 3 years ago
The more I look at dating apps, the more I appreciate the fact that my cat doesn’t talk.
Denise Hoi 3 years ago (edited)
Trueth has been spoken but why did i read this with the rythm of if you're happy and you know it clap you're hands?
Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano 3 years ago
I had to go back and read it like that lol
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François Carré 3 years ago
I've been doing that when I was in my 30s, and most of the profiles I would see back then were of freshly divorced ladies going on bitter (and somewhat justified, I guess) rants about men and what their next partner would rather NOT be - and all I was feeling while reading these without being involved was the constant sensation of dodging bullets from all sides.
Octavia Hansen 3 years ago
OUCH! Did this. Canceled it. My bio reads: "Ever since my parents crashed at Roswell, everyone is still talking about it. I have 37 sisters." . . . and not ONE person commented on this or had anything more interesting to say about themselves. I'll take my chases at a bar!
Mary Peace 3 years ago
What are you taking at the bar, your chases or your chances? Or even chasers!
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1ch0 3 years ago
I came to peace with my self years ago in realizing I dont want or need a relationship.
commie pinkofag 3 years ago
Why hate yourself alone when beautiful people are standing by now, ready to help you!
Hill Branda 3 years ago
One the best things about being married is knowing you never have to worry about first dates again.
In Mike's opinion, mass access to the internet has "tremendously" changed our lives for the better. "Think about it, no matter where you are, you can find out just about anything. To have that ability is almost magical." And yet, with great power...
"But it also comes with responsibility. It’s up to you to be selective in what you’re taking in on the internet, and even when to shut it off."
Ronald Rrusti, the person behind ‘The Funny Introvert’ social media project, shares on his website that he is a writer, meme enthusiast, and entrepreneur.
He’s very true to the name of his Instagram account. Earlier, he told Bored Panda that he prefers not to be in the spotlight, as he’s an introvert and everything. Instead, he prefers to give credit to others. Specifically, the people whose posts he features on his account.
#7
Gaya Knust 3 years ago
Ha! I always want to shake people with such idiotic ideas. As a teacher, I've worked way more at home than when giving physical classes.
Brandi Delph 3 years ago
The only thing I liked about teaching online for a full school year was wearing pajama bottoms all day. Otherwise hated every second of it. Was so glad to get back to a real classroom
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Lou Cam 3 years ago
Working from home increased productivity in our office 80%. Not having to stop and chat, have endless meetings and wrangle with the printer made all the difference. We still have meetings online but who else just turns the camera off and keeps typing away? Plus benefits of endless snacks, comfy clothes and getting a washing cycle done all whilst getting paid makes people want to work harder.
Aileen Grist 3 years ago
Like when you say that if you won the lottery and would give up work, and people say 'wouldn't you be bored?' Hell do you not think I'm bored here
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
I'm 20x times more productive working from home. I know that when I finish certain task I can have a break/nap/walk/watch something and not drag something that I could do in 2 hours for 8 hours as I need to look busy in an office. Yes I do have long days and working weekends sometimes but it's not often
Hill Branda 3 years ago
I work from home and I get far more done than I would in an office. The work requires a great deal of concentration. The distractions cause by having other people around would slow me down considerably. I think I'm more accurate and more productive, and far less likely to burn out. Granted, we've been working from home for years before Covid, so going to back to a physical office would be a huge change.
Casey Horn 3 years ago
and yet their company is experiencing record profits… i didn’t realize people pay even MORE for imaginary work.
Ruth Harper 3 years ago
Personally it is hard for me to work from home. My kitty demanding my attention makes it difficult to get anything done.
#8
L 3 years ago
guess I'm an idiot. i don't love every aspect of my job. I like working. I like providing a service for my community. higher wages and more time off would be nice. but no work? no pride in a needed job well done? no thanks
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Tom Hardeveld 3 years ago
make your hobby your job and you... will start to hate your hobby real fast
Step 3 years ago
Everyone works just to exist. We all have to maintain ourselves everyday we live. So no one is lazy to be honest. Just us existing takes maintenance and effort. So don't let anyone tell you you're unworthy of existing if you Don't work. Because what they are really saying is you aren't worthy unless you make money. We all work in one way or another every day we live. Just remember your worth is not based on productivity.
James G. Currie 3 years ago
I want to work... I'm easily bored and need something constructive to do. And, I like things live roofs, food, transport that is not shank's mare...
Jerry Ryan 3 years ago
I did at one time when I was a kid and didn't have to work but now that I have to work I really don't want to.
Kenneth McCartney 3 years ago
I work for myself now, and every job I finish feels like an accomplishment. Also if one takes pride in ones work, one does not cut corners.
Katherine Hyde 3 years ago
I'm at mom's home full time with parent care. We can both get by on her retirement. I'm an artist. Between that, mom, and home upkeep I work all the time, and LOVE it!
Dave Lear 3 years ago
Because you do things you enjoy and/or care about, which is a position most people aren't in. If you worked full time answering emails about the fish finger supplies in your Chiswick office or slogging parcels back and forth in a warehouse while you manager times your toilet breaks with a stopwatch, you'd probably love it rather less...
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AK to LV 3 years ago
Just hoping someone in his family gets the nickname 'Pasta'😂
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Sherilynne DeMaio 3 years ago
HAAA! Good. Come to SoCal! No bugs really ever and winter is non-existent.
Most of the jokes shared by ‘The Funny Introvert’ are pretty clear. However, not everyone gets every single joke. Some quips go flying way above our heads. And even though we laugh along with everyone else, inside our heads, we’re trying to do some serious humor calculations.
Comedy writer and stand-up comedy expert Ariane Sherine, from the UK, tackled the topic of not getting jokes in a previous interview with Bored Panda.
"Depending on the situation, it either means you’re not privy to knowledge you need to understand the joke, or it just means your brain doesn’t work in the way it needs to in order to understand that particular type of humor," she explained to us why we might sometimes not get the joke.
#10
Reviewer UK01 3 years ago
You become astounded to learn that the people you assumed were teenagers are in fact 25 year old adults
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Paul Mitchell 3 years ago
My father was 97 in an old peoples' home complaining that every one else there was old...
James G. Currie 3 years ago
State of mind...all a state of mind. Dad doesn't think he's old, so to him, he's not! :) Hope I have that mentality at that age!
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Anna Banana 3 years ago
For me it was quite early - I was maybe 32 and the attending doctor in the ER was obviously younger than me. Not a student, a goddamn fully-grown doctor!
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
When doctors, dentists and policemen all look waaaaaaay to young to be on the job
Marie Dahme 3 years ago
For me it was when I realized anybody born after Y2K is old enough to drink now.
Al Christensen 3 years ago
As a friend once said, you know you're getting old when all the pro athletes are younger than you. Now I say you know you're old when all the team owners are younger than you.
Auntriarch 3 years ago
My boss is not only younger than me, she's younger than my favourite pair of shoes (in my defence, they are a classic Ravel 80s stiletto, that I can't actually walk in any more without a fortnight of practice)
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#11
Kenny Kulbiski 3 years ago
To be fair it's not just a 2 minute call. There's also the 2 or 3 hour rehearsal of what you're going say, or might say, etc.
#12
flutterbyy 3 years ago
I think the clothes worn outside are supposed to have less stains and holes than the ones worn inside; I'm not sure though.
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Lazy Panda (she/her/hers) 3 years ago
I don’t think that’s so much an age as a pre/post pandemic lifestyle shift.
Anna Banana 3 years ago
Can I ask you an unrelated question? I'm not being a jerk, just trying to learn. When people write their pronouns it's often „she/her” or „they/them”. Wouldn't just „she” or „they” be enough? Are there people whose pronouns are more... mixed, like „she/them”? Or is there another reason?
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Al Christensen 3 years ago
I've reached that age where I don't care. I didn't put in 70 years just so I could continue conforming.
Yoga Kitty 3 years ago
Outside: Private parts are covered; inside: Who cares? I have a see-through front door leading right into my living room. If you come over unanounced, look inside at your own risk...
Kate 3 years ago
Wait'll you hit the stage where the line between pajamas and going-out clothes disappears.
Pan Narrans 3 years ago
In my free time I wear want I want where ever I go. In my opinion looks don't count, manners do. Like the British nobility on their country estates. The only way to distinguish the Earl from the stables boy is the attitude. Or the lady of the manor working in the garden in her wellies and an old coat from dad, while owning half the shire.
Christof Irran 3 years ago
I often read where European pandas here don't understand why Americans wear their shoes inside the home. Well duh, in Europe they don't have the kind of snakes we have here.
Stephanie Paich 3 years ago
"Clothes worn around the house" Do you mean pajamas? I never wear actual clothes when I'm at home.
According to her, there’s really no reason to be worried if we miss some jokes. The humor expert highlighted the fact that not even comedy professionals ‘get’ every single quip. "Stuff goes over my head occasionally too and I’m a comedian!" she said.
#13
Johanna she/her 3 years ago
And another five to complain and cry when you can’t figure it out but you are so close
Shelli Aderman 3 years ago
YES! I whip out IMDB about 10 minutes into every more we watch at home. And as soon as the credits come on in the theatre! 🤣
GlassHalfWay 3 years ago
IMDB. Then I look at the trivia of the movie, the actors, but mostly how tall they are. I don't know why.
Gini Sarver 3 years ago
omg i do this often, most of those i have looked up have made an appearance on ER 😁
ERIKA H. 3 years ago (edited)
This is why in like streaming Amazon Prime. If you pause it will show you all the actors in the scene and you can click them and it will take you to their IMDB
#14
SDLT010 3 years ago
My cat sat on my keyboard once during online class, this post reminds me of it
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Ripley 3 years ago
When someone's dog pops into frame on a zoom and you're straight to the private chat to say "show me your dog again!"
Emma 3 years ago
And then the rest of the classtime is dedicated to dragging your pets in front of the camera. The whole class, one at a time.
Load More Replies... BrookeBT 3 years ago
Power Point was invented to indoctrinate and bore us til we just comply to a company standard. No good has come out of one those presentations. I have a proof to show it. If you'll just turn your attention to the screen...
Powerful Katrinka 3 years ago
You should read "The Cognitive Style of PowerPoint: Pitching Out Corrupts Within," by Edward Tufte. It's both hilarious and eye-opening.
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Chaotic-Pansexual (she/they) 3 years ago
When my school went remote, once we were comfortable, I had some classes where it was half learning, half showing off pets. It was honestly amazing and I know my dogs appreciated the school time snuggles.
clairelise@pacific.net 3 years ago
Whenever someone says "here you have to see pics of my baby" I wish I was brave enough to be honest with them: "oh no thank you. D'you have any pics of your cat? I'd love to see pics of your cat"
Bookaday 3 years ago
But what if the cat is the baby? My mom calls our dog her baby.
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KombatBunni 3 years ago
Any time I have a video or phone call, my boy cockatiel will want to join in. Doesn’t matter what it’s for, he’ll make a fuss until I let him chirp into the phone or appear in the vid call. My girl cockatiel couldn’t care less
Aisling (she/they) 3 years ago (edited)
I read that as pooped. Now it's a very different image.
Christof Irran 3 years ago
Here it's "Sorry, my three-legged cat is about to puke in the bed" And they: "What? You have a three-legged cat? Can I see her?" and "How did she end up with only three legs? Was she born that way?" To which I often respond "No. When I picked her up at the pound I didn't have enough money with me for all four legs." That usually throws them.
#15
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
My brother was like Gordon Ramsey whenever one of our parents would scrub potatoes.
Tenacious Squirrel 3 years ago
My much older brother used to tell me how much better his cereal tasted when I made it. Fell for it for a few years, making him cereal whenever he asked. I don’t mind though, I barely get to see him these days so they’re good memories 😊
Danielle 3 years ago
Is it too late to start telling my 11 yo son that he truly excels at tidying up?
pink_panda 3 years ago
No way! Positive reinforcement, genuinely given, works at any age.
Load More Replies... unfilteredCigarette73 3 years ago
Replace peeler with masher and you have now met my brother lol he still doesn't get it and he's 48
Safy 3 years ago
My Nan used me as her little kitchen helper, and she would tell me the same. I remember making coleslaw with her, my hands would be so sore from ringing things out. Some of my fondest memories were cooking with my Nan though, even if she DID make me work for my meal sometimes. ;)
Agfox 3 years ago
My Mum convinced my brother & I that it was a special treat to have dinner in bed on weekends. 25 years later, she convinced her eldest granddaughter of the same 'treat'. To be fair, Mum & Dad's spare bedroom came complete with a small TV, which made eldest granddaughter happy, my brother & I had to make do with comic books. Mum was also responsible for getting me to eat 'underground chicken' after I refused to eat rabbit
Stoopham McFernybabes 3 years ago
Taking notes for my parenting. Any other gems from your mum?
Our ability to get jokes is partly down to how we’re wired, and partly due to the type of humorous content we’re exposed to when growing up.
"Babies find a lot of things funny, so it’s partly innate. But for jokes like puns, you definitely need a firm grasp of language, and for political satire, you of course need an understanding of politics,” the comedy expert said.
#16
Autistic apricot 3 years ago (edited)
Sounds fun but also not legal (not trying to ruin the fun, I would love this( if I was small enough))
Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
Yeah. I'm hoping that this happens in a nice quiet area where if you see 2 cars drive by in an hours time, they're going to a drug deal. You see 2 cars and a few minutes later a police car go by and it's a drug bust.
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Frank C 3 years ago
My father would do this with me when I was little I loved it so much. I don't think we ever went over a few miles an hour and it was a closed residential neighborhood so no crazy traffic but i still felt so special
Victor Botha 3 years ago
Brilliant. Also all you mother Grundys, reel your necks in and stop being such killjoys and relax a little.
#17
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
I honestly thought Coachella was like an annual race or something
Kellie Robinson 3 years ago
I thought it sounded like the little sister version of the fashion designer Coach. Like Coach was for professionals, and Coachella was for those still warming up for the big leagues.
TeenieMeanie 3 years ago
I hate Coachella. It’s ruined the desert for people who have to live and work here year round.
Kate 3 years ago
Actually, living in the desert ruined living in the desert for me.
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#18
Omi bub 3 years ago
My husband got mugged when we were on holiday- they gave him his mobile phone back cos it's so old & crappy
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Sterling Hill 3 years ago
My car was broken into in the days of "BIG" tapes and the only ones they stole were the Julian Bream classical guitar tapes. I've always wondered about that. No rock, no blues... just classical guitar. What kind of thief...
Kibbles y 3 years ago
10 years later same guy broke into my car, returned all the CDs he stole....and 30 more cuz who has CDs anymore?
AnnwylTheBloodyLovesFerghus 3 years ago
I refer you to a previous poster whose computer died after they'd spent months inputting all their CD's into it. They lost 30,000 songs. I will buy CD's, Blu-rays, and DVD's as long as they keep making them. I never need to worry about internet connection, streaming speed, or subscription issues. And I can hold a CD in my hand. Because it's mine and it's actually there.
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Tiny Dancer 3 years ago
Used to have an impressive record collection I kept in a mess of milk boxes. In the mid-80s, the pitiful room and shared kitchen hovel we were living in at the time was broken into. They took all of them. Except for Elton John and Rod McKuen (about 20-30 original vinyl records, worth a mint even then!). Heathens.
RandomCitizen 3 years ago
I like Nickelback. My 14 yr old daughter likes Nickelback. Which makes it cooler than either you or I can judge.
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Terry Tobias 3 years ago
I actually left my car unlocked a couple of weeks ago and it was obvious that someone had been in my car because the contents of my glove compartment, etc., were on the seats. Not one of my CDs was missing. It made me kind of sad.
When it comes to actually telling a good joke, the responsibility doesn’t rest just on the comedian’s or the audience’s shoulders. It’s a shared experience.
"It really depends on the joke and how it’s told. People can’t be expected to get badly-told jokes where the setup or punchline is mangled, but if the joke’s told well, it’s not necessarily the comic’s fault if another person doesn’t get it," she said.
#19
scrutator tenebrarum 3 years ago
Mines take a bite of my nose, very gently, everytime he finds me sleeping, I think he does that just to be shure i m really dead before eating my face
Gaya Knust 3 years ago
I never understood that argument - so what? As if that would make me stop loving cats. (Funniest thing though, when I say that a dog would do the same to the owner after a while, the person usually starts vehemently denying lol)
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
Exactly, I'd be dead, why would I care what happens with my body?
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Ivana Bašić 3 years ago
Why would I want my cat to starve? I'm a good cat servant and it would be my pleasure to feed him until he's rescued.
Lara Verne 3 years ago
So what, if you get buried, you end up being eaten by bugs and worms, it that better?
commie pinkofag 3 years ago
Don't be ridiculous. My cat won't sleep on polyester. There's no way he'd eat this old wreck.
Alexandra Nara 3 years ago
My kids always try to convince me to move into a new relationship, so I won't die alone. I told them I wish one cat as. 60. B-Day gift- and the next at 61.th- and so on- So I won't be alone and become cats food when I die- best case I won't be smelly too long and my funeral will be cheap :-) They didn't find it funny, I. still think about as biological effective system
#20
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
This made me really want ice cream. Imma get ice cream. Y’all want some
Argle Bargle 3 years ago
Got told off by Mr Whippy when we were kids, because as soon as we heard the music, we would rush down and sit on the curb waiting. It was always such a long wait, but always worth it. One day, Mr Whippy yelled at us and said 'Damnit kids, you're the last stop on my route. You don't need to sit there all day.' But next week, we heard the music and were so worried we'd miss out, we just went and sat on the curb and waited.
SoulSurfer 3 years ago
In Malta we had ice cream boat. Delivered even in remote beaches.
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Don't you wish you knew 3 years ago
That was me when we went to Disney. My watch was constantly thinking I was exercising we walked so much!
#21
GayBoi 3 years ago (edited)
Person: *Looking at ice cream in the frozen section* Hmmm... what should I g-? Me: *Kicks their basket off to the side* DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A LANE IS?! Person: Wha- My mother, who was most likely driving the car behind the person: USE A BLINKER YOU IDIOT
BrookeBT 3 years ago
I drive the speed limit. But I love when some jerk passes me or cuts me off to get ahead then we meet at the red light up ahead. Usually a fancy car. Here we are jack#@!. Certain finger gestures are often given.
unfilteredCigarette73 3 years ago (edited)
Delivery driver at my old job basically explained to me how speeding on the interstate does no favors except maybe 3 minutes tops unless you are traveling at 100mph or above. And to really save time it must be consistent, no stopping or slowing AT ALL
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Robert Trebor 3 years ago
I want an atomizer gun for people like that driver. Zap! Elemental bits. Mount it on my left fender.
Andy Dwyer 3 years ago
For me it's telekinetic powers for the sole purpose of damaging their car.
Christof Irran 3 years ago
I walked into a restaurant with my S.O. and waited at the hostess's desk. Another couple came in immediately behind us, and the guy asked me "Turn signal don't work?" And I responded "I have no idea. I haven't used it in ages." His wife grabbed his arm so he wouldn't deck me.
Dorothy Stovall 3 years ago
OMG. The person tooling along at 60 in the fast lane for 20 miles and will not get over so I can pass (every other lane with cars going the same speed so I can't even go around). I see you in the grocery store and we're gonna rumble).
Otakupanda 3 years ago
I want photographic memory so I can remember people's faces I can only remember voices for some reason
"Humor can be quite a niche and individual thing, but if a joke regularly falls flat most comics will drop it from their sets."
Comedy expert Ariane said that some people don’t get jokes because they’re not used to looking for humor in certain situations.
#22
flutterbyy 3 years ago
And the luck is allergic to detergent so you're not supposed to wash it apparently.
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
DO YOU WANNA WASH ALL THE LUCK AWAY? Because that's how a team loses. Some idiot washed their jersey!
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BrookeBT 3 years ago
Astrology is dumb. The stars and planets don't rule our lives. It's all hogwash. But I can't wear my Leaf's jersey on game days because I did in 1993 and they lost that game. I stand by it because.....oh jeez....I've painted my self into a corner here....
Barbara Skolly 3 years ago
Why have they lost all the other games then???
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2econdSelf 3 years ago
I don't believe in astrology, nor am I superstitious, but I always wear a jersey on game day to show support because yes I'm a sports nerd. Today it's MN Twins.
unfilteredCigarette73 3 years ago
I think we all might need lucky TC Bear costumes after the white sox series 🤬
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unfilteredCigarette73 3 years ago (edited)
I'm a gemini and a MN Twins fan and a man lol. I'm not sure I see a problem 😅
#23
Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
Well we all know that the cat would completely ignore the skateboard but immediately jump in the box it came in.
Mary Peace 3 years ago
I know cats like fish, but how is this cat supposed to get the skate off the board?
Stephanie Wittenberg 3 years ago
I do love those videos of pets riding skateboards. (Don't judge me)
#24
flutterbyy 3 years ago
I hate having more than 5 tabs open in one window, and I hate bookmarking websites, so I just memorize the website name and hope I'll remember it. Oh, and I have a shitty memory.
Abrufal 3 years ago
Her is a tip....with windows you can right click a tab and save to desktop. Then it makes icon on the desktop that when clicked opens the website. Screw hundreds of tabs just have a desk top with 1000 icons
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Pan Narrans 3 years ago
Having a good memory helps a lot: the website's name is forgotten but the way I searched it (keywords etc) is etched in memory and can be repeated at will.
RandomFrog(He/They️️) 3 years ago
This is my mom and I have sworn to never be like that so now I use tan groups and allow myself no more than five in each, unless I’m studying or have them open for a minute or less.
commie pinkofag 3 years ago
Thereby reminding that visiting this site is a sign of mental illness, impending dementia, or both.
“Many people take life very seriously (like my mum, who can vaguely identify a joke but always laughs in the wrong place!). Alternatively, it could be the fault of the person telling the joke—the humor might be too subtle and not signposted enough,” she told Bored Panda earlier.
#25
Johanna she/her 3 years ago
Once I was trying to get something out of my freezer and imagine a 5 pound frozen metal object falling on your big toe, worst pain I’ve ever felt and it hurt for weeks, it’s still sensitive after 8 months or so
KombatBunni 3 years ago
Or a half full bottle of soy sauce..that stuff stinks for weeks and is a b*tch to clean up :/
Autistic apricot 3 years ago
Random thing but I’ve always wanted to try kimchi, what does it taste like
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Dana Ondráčková 3 years ago
I do this with meat in my freezer trying to mít move anything else or it Will fall out And hit my toes
#26
The Scout 3 years ago
That's not really a surprise... Hast anyone ever seen such a tin really containing cookies? Aren't they already produced with sewing items inside? 😉
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Daniel Atkins 3 years ago
My grandmother would reuse cool whip containers. So much so that after my grandfather passed we were discussing what to do with his ashes my aunt said with a chuckle that if grandma was alive she would put them in a cool whip container. (Cool whip is a dessert topping similar to whipped cream)
Johanna she/her 3 years ago
I can’t even tell you how many times I saw a whipped cream container and had my hopes crushed by cream cheese or something, I would get so excited :(
Gaya Knust 3 years ago
That's like me with my DVD collection! Up until 2013, I'd buy a lot of movies and series so I have around 400+ and almost half of them are in the wrong box. Have fun trying to find a movie in a hurry lol
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
I once thought that this salt in an old container labeled ‘sugar’ was, you guessed it, sugar. And I drank salty tea
Tommy Pickles 3 years ago
I once grabbed a bottle of water out of my grandma's fridge and took a huge chug of it. I was 11 and it was my first taste of vodka. She stopped hiding it in water bottles after that.
#27
Beeps 3 years ago (edited)
But then Jesus realised that all he needed to say was: “Thanks, is it ok if I pay you the day after tomorrow?”
“There's no other way but to ask people what the joke is. Or you might want to keep it to yourself that you have an under-developed sense of humor,” she said that if you find yourself unable to ‘get’ the joke, there’s really nothing to do but to ask the comedian or someone else for an explanation.
#28
Steve Ramaekers 3 years ago
Jesus forgave the sins at Easter that Santa was punishing you for at Christmas.
Argle Bargle 3 years ago
And leaves brown things wrapped in chocolate everywhere. Is nobody connecting the Easter Bunny is just crapping everywhere?
Anna Banana 3 years ago
Wait, we don't have that one in my country. Why is a bunny leaving eggs?!
Jaymi Leigh 3 years ago
I told my kids they have to be good for the Easter Bunny too. They don't know the difference.
Ashley Schriber 3 years ago
Damn, my family always told me he was watching me all the time, just like Santa.
James G. Currie 3 years ago
Well, he actually *does* give a c**p... How do you think he makes the candy? (He has a special organ that wraps the ejecta in foil.)
#29
Madelyn Jeffords 3 years ago
Love ur name but I can’t have sushi I’m allergic 😶
Load More Replies... Argle Bargle 3 years ago (edited)
And forgetting what you've ordered, so it's like opening Christmas presents but better, because you got yourself exactly what you wanted
Lazy Panda (she/her/hers) 3 years ago
“I did too leave the house yesterday, I got the mail!” Mailbox is affixed to the front of the house next to the door, but I do have to step all of the way out onto the porch to collect it.
Neb Skram 3 years ago
i once had the fedex guy the ups guy and the mailman all at my door at the same time to get me to sign for packages plus i got my human contact for the week at the same time
Jessica Julian 3 years ago
But, wait until dark, so you don't have to put on a bra and real clothes, because you don't want to scare the neighbors.
#30
Floof 3 years ago
don't forget about the mother bag. the big bag that you stuff the stuffed bags in
Jo pay me more 3 years ago
All bags go into the mother bag. In time the mother bag will clone and you will fill that one, all the time wondering where you got the new mother bag!
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Kellie Robinson 3 years ago (edited)
Me: "I'm nothing like my mom." Later, my therapist: "Let's talk through the history of your anxiety. Where in your childhood home do remember the most anxious signals?" Me: "Oh definitely my mom."
Joan Kelley-Elsayed 3 years ago
An empty tissue box makes the best holder for all of those little plastic bags.
Elizabeth Bock 3 years ago
I am so old, I get mad when my family throws out the "good" bag, that will hold the others. In CA, they have banned plastic bags. Good on them, but what would I do?!
James G. Currie 3 years ago
Makes it easy to store them until you can take them in to recycle, or you need a poo bag for the dog.
Nadine Bamberger 3 years ago
It's almost an out of body experience to hear yourself say something in the exact same tone of your mother.
#31
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
That's how you get them in my house. They (the pack of locusts I habitate with) will only eat them this way. (OK, fine. They'll eat them any way they can get 'em, but they'll grumble the whole time). Locusts, I tell you. They're a bunch of starving locusts.
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
Yes, you should, but with cinnamon and melted chocolate and caramel in the middle
Stephanie Paich 3 years ago
Far too many places bake cookies for WAY too long. I respect Crumbl for their proper baking methods. Also, pro tip, if you make cookies at home, put a piece of bread in the container, they'll stay soft.
#32
Reviewer UK01 3 years ago
This is my superpower. I have prosopagnosia (face blindness) and will literally never run into *anyone* I recognise unless they have distinctive clothes, familiar backpack, etc.
flutterbyy 3 years ago
I don't have face blindness but I'm terrible at remembering faces, and I do that too! Especially on the first day of uni or job I'd memorize their clothes and hope they wore the same shirt the next day.
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Tessb90 3 years ago
I've gone with the option of wearing a mask regardless of mandates. Covid is still around, and my already crappy immune system has had two years of almost no contact with society. I'm more than prepared to wear a mask for the rest of my life if it helps me to avoid people by giving them the impression that I should not be approached, as they usually assume that I'm sick.
Load More Replies... Gaya Knust 3 years ago
Nah, just say an enthusiastic hi, followed by a how are you doing and end up "oh, I gotta rush, I have to (insert some excuse). Now, if it's someone you loathe and you see them before they see you, just run in the opposite direction whilst pretending to talk on your phone.
#33
Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
That made me laugh 😁 But, at least where I live, the moon seems to be full every saturday, lol
Load More Replies... James G. Currie 3 years ago
Easy - hold-out the hand, and ask for her bank and credit cards. It's not likely she's also carrying cash these days. You can only hope she doesn't have a pay application on her cell.
#34
Distracted Serpent 3 years ago
We had this at my college, and people just rickrolled everyone at least once an hour.
Delta Dawn 3 years ago
I’d even pay a bit for the store to play my music next, like a jukebox app.
Meredith Ottens 3 years ago
But seriously, whoever created the playlist at my local HEB is my soulmate.
Jessica Julian 3 years ago
They have to pay for every song, so you can tell how cheap the company is by what music is pkayed.
Salty Wild Hair 3 years ago
I am convinced the people who work at my local store have a cover band and that is what they play over the loud speaker. And I come to that conclusion because they play it too loud and those are not the right lyrics.
Jennifer Brown 3 years ago
Sometimes the grocery store has the most random music...I have heard Robbie Williams songs and they NEVER play him on the radio in the US...but he is massively popular throughout the rest of the world
#35
commie pinkofag 3 years ago
I can't think of a more apt unit of measurement for garbage than "a Texas."
Gaya Knust 3 years ago
And sometimes, the fish you thought was nice actually lives in the garbage patch lol
Jaybird3939 3 years ago
They just took 1 ton of garbage out of "Trash Island". It included a washing machine.
Aisling Raye 3 years ago
Texas sized garbage patch is probably a whole hell of a lot nicer than actual Texas.
#36
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago (edited)
GASP! SUCH A *dramatic flop* SHOCK *whispering* that they didn’t see me
Delta Dawn 3 years ago
It’s always the SO or ex-SO. Always. I’m like 89% sure DT pushed Ivana down those stairs.
Joshua 3 years ago
So true! Convenient the NY attorney general paused the depositions “until further notice” for the family to mourn.
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Rosie Red 3 years ago
I can usually tell by the 911 call. The guilty narrate a short story. They'll say something like...I went to the grocery store. I drove home and came in the house. I called out my husband's name but he didn't answer. I looked around the house and found him in the garage, please come, there's blood everywhere. Instead of screaming bloody murder and getting right to the point MY HUSBAND IS COVERED IN BLOOD! HURRY PLEASE!!! Which would you believe?
Aubrie Allen 3 years ago
I love true crime stuff, but I am so utterly tired of them saying "This murder rocked the community to the core." Really? Every murder rocks every single community to it's core every time?!?!
#37
Nadine Bamberger 3 years ago
I'm always moved to tears to witness a new introvert not come out of their shell.
Blackstone 3 years ago (edited)
My young kid is the same. Trying to plan a birthday party with family and friends who want to celebrate with her, but also respect who my kid is, is a challenge. We usually split it into two or three very small parties with smaller groups, so she actually enjoys herself. Otherwise she gets overwhelmed and just seems to want it over and it's so sad.
SirWriteALot 3 years ago
I like commas. You know ... they make written stuff make more sense. "same girl" "same, girl" namsayn?
#38
commie pinkofag 3 years ago
I hate it when I have to resort to Costco sodas for rectal cleansing because Gwyneth Paltrow's pomegranate enemas are so expensive.
Emmydearest 3 years ago
I practice intermittent fasting every day between dinner and breakfast, does it count?
Elizabeth Bock 3 years ago
In college, my sister told on me, to my folks that I was eating spagettios for every meal. It was the cheapest thing in the commissary. Come to find out, ALL of my siblings tried similar "eating while poor, feeling guilty student", and the other siblings told on them too. One ate potatoes and the other ate peanut butter.
Michelle Boden 3 years ago
How does this make any sense? What does income have to do with IF ?
#39
Aimee Parrott 3 years ago
I'm Gen X and I would buy every Scholastic Book Fair candle I could find.
Delta Dawn 3 years ago
I’d order a dozen “new box of Crayola crayons” candles
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Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
Gen Z, and if I ever get book-themed candles, you've got a customer for life.
Mer☕️🧭☕️ 3 years ago
Demeter Fragrance makes lots of different (some are really weird) scents and candles - https://demeterfragrance.com/paperback.html
Load More Replies... Sarah Ryan 3 years ago
If you don't know what Scholastic is, y'all are missing out. As a parent I couldn't wait for that dirty newspaper order form to come home :-)
TheNewJenBrady 3 years ago
Mr. Sketch scented markers would be my pick... especially watermelon and raspberry
Karla Jasper 3 years ago
I would buy a candle scented "I gave you money for books but you came home with 13 scented erasers Stickers and a pencil case" Ahhh smells like childhood
#40
Jake B 3 years ago
Wait, what about her? She is so selfish. Even in the end. I’ll get rid of this priceless necklace they are looking for and would really help my granddaughter and these folks out (like pay some salaries). She led a life of everything for her. I don’t even know if the granddaughter liked her. Just my thoughts. Jack got off lucky.
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Potty pagan panda 3 years ago
I don’t care what anyone says he could fit on that fking door wood floating thingy!
Anna Banana 3 years ago
That's what my teacher said about Romeo and Juliet! A class of 13 year olds, just getting our first crushes, and she absolutely devastated us :D
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
Yeah, I thought Romeo and Juliet was romantic when I was younger. Now it's just sad.
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Laura Jackson 3 years ago
At least then he could have gotten half of everything, unlike her having it all while he just hangs around waiting to die.😉😁
AndThenICommented 3 years ago
I rewatched the other day and realised that Jack would have probably died anyway or been arrested while disembarking if the ship hadn’t hit the iceberg. That fiancé and henchman seemed pretty hell bent on it. Kinda made me sad
Jake B 3 years ago
True, Rose was still a 1%’er. You are absolutely right.
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robin aldrich 3 years ago
In spite of what James Cameron has said she should've moved over and let him on the darn thing she was floating on
Issey 3 years ago (edited)
Random but I never understood why Rose didn't just sell the stupid necklace. She got it from a man she obviously hated, so selling it and living a good life with the money would have been the ultimate way to spite him
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
Because the man she hated wanted to kill her. As long as he thought she was dead she was safe.
Load More Replies... #41
B Lorax 3 years ago
Same thing but there was a scream before the disconnect - that's not friendship.
Gaya Knust 3 years ago (edited)
Aw, I'm sorry, but I'm not like that. If it's a real friend, I'll try to return to the call or at least send them a message. (Especially cos nowadays it's not always when we have mutual free time to catch up frequently)
Alexandra Comeau 3 years ago
that has nothing to do with "Real friend" lol i mean if i talk to them daily anyway, why bother if it wasnt a super important convo lol
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#42
Tommy Pickles 3 years ago (edited)
Doesn't feel any different than 29. It's society's fear of aging and pressure to be young. I'd rather be the age I am now than in my 20s. That was just a cluster-f*#k of mistakes and growing up when you mistakenly believed you were already done. Come to the old side. We don't hide our love of cookies anymore. 👍
Friend Kelli 3 years ago
30 was hard on my dad. Stayed on the couch for three days, he said. He's 84 now. Survived 30 and I was born when he was 31 so life gets better. And more expensive.
#43
Pan Narrans 3 years ago
Now my age shows painfully: that's so you can have your laundry at a 'just right for ironing' degree of moisture.
Delta Dawn 3 years ago
It’s so they have a chance to grow that mildew smell we all love so much
Salty Wild Hair 3 years ago
Given the number of people who never fold the clothes, choosing this option gives you a side of mildew as well.
#44
Down With Agent Hedgehog! 3 years ago
2030: help! We can get out now but the doors have melted into the wall!
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Anthony Nizza 3 years ago
And now it's WAY more expensive than before and still getting more expensive!
Load More Replies... Gaya Knust 3 years ago
I wish we had the option (for those who want it) to continue working and doing everything else from home. Boy, not having to use public bathrooms was bliss!
robin aldrich 3 years ago
I'm wondering if I should be worried about myself... I'm mostly perfectly happy NOT going out in public,.... unless I have to
#45
Delta Dawn 3 years ago (edited)
I once dared to say “actually I couldn’t find x” and the cashier shot me a death glare
John Beck 3 years ago
I once said that at a Trader Joe's and the cashier called for a rover to search for it. He found it! She told me that they report it to the manager if they keep hearing the same items. It is probably best to shop at stores that know what customer service means. The crazy part is TJ's has very competitive prices and well-paid employees who are happy at their job. Why do other chains beat on their employees, demoralizing them, and have an awful environment for shopping (and working)?
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Kylie Mountain 3 years ago
It's just a thing they're supposed to say. They don't actually want to know that your favorite chips were out of stock, and there's nothing they could do about it anyway.
Ela 3 years ago
I once said 'actually we couldn't find this' and it was a pretty random odd item, and she said, 'oh, I have one right here'. Turned around, picked up the ONLY THING on the shelf behind her, and it was the one thing we had wandered the aisles half an hour looking for, and given up on. I swear I said 'holy cow you're magic'! And she just laughed.
KiwiBubbles 3 years ago
Lol, as a cashier any time someone's like "I couldn't find x" I'm like wELP wasn't planning on going off script today but here goes nothing!! Idk if general experience is like mine, but I'm trapped at the register most of the time and I do not know where a lot of stuff is. Or even whether we have a lot of stuff. I'll do my best to ask others on the radio, but I definitely don't feel as helpful as I should be.
Merrill N. Munro 3 years ago
CASHIER: Were you able to find everything? ME: I found everything... The Lost Ark of the Covenant, Jimmy Hoffa's body, the Missing Link, but what I couldn't find was the self-restraint I needed to get out of here without spending $550.
Mary Peace 3 years ago
Ha-ha! Also Red Rum (the racehorse) Lord Lucan, and the necklace I lost in 1987.
Load More Replies... #46
Stephanie Did It 3 years ago
And you're sitting there going "what did they say and then delete? Was it that bad?"
commie pinkofag 3 years ago
If she wasn't when you asked her, she will become so _because_ you asked her.
James G. Currie 3 years ago
If you have to ask, you shouldn't need to, because if you think you have to ask, she is.
#47
Zack Podany 3 years ago
No, that's the best thing about it, because it makes it really easy to know who to block.
Strahd Ivarius 3 years ago
Just think of the Egyptians that fell for the one started by Kheops...
#48
Bored Person 3 years ago (edited)
When you can't sleep and everything just starts replaying in your mind
KombatBunni 3 years ago
I’m like I’ve already seen this one..can we try a different memory? Please.
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Lakota Wolf 3 years ago
I'm 40. Can confirm. My social interaction embarrassment range goes from "my first conscious thoughts/memories" and runs to ∞
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Emily Raskauskas 3 years ago
Yes! I love being in my 30s. I'm comfortable in my own skin now because I realize everyone else is too busy with their own c**p to give me much thought.
commie pinkofag 3 years ago
Oh, honey… just wait. It gets so much worse. In 10 years you'll look back and have to rationalize your behavior without being able to say, "I was just a kid."
Kenny Kulbiski 3 years ago
Most of the people I've embarrassed myself with are either dead or have forgotten I exist. Doesn't matter I'm still embarrassed and recall every little detail.
#49
James G. Currie 3 years ago
"...and I don't have a cat." - whoops, who's apartment am I in? **exits stage left, before the cops arrive.
commie pinkofag 3 years ago
And the animatronic cat's exploding battery just set your bed on fire.
Kari Lynn 3 years ago
My mom got my sister a poinsettia for Christmas one year. My sister is notorious for killing plant life, so my mom got a fake one from Hobby Lobby. My mom wasn't satisfied with the aesthetic of the foam block it stuck into, so she is added a covering layer of soil. Weeks go by, and my sister tells my mom in amazement that it's still alive as she's been watering it daily. Mom says nothing. A month passes, and my sister decides to report her prized plant so it will get bigger. Heheheh...
James G. Currie 3 years ago
Whoops, you added two extra words... The period should be after the word poisonous!
Load More Replies... #50
Gaya Knust 3 years ago
Yes, please! And be aware that unless we're really close, there's a high chance of me telling you I can't make it(because I'd rather stay at home),
Katherine Boag 3 years ago
Like if u want to chat via txt, sure, im up. If u wanna hang in person zzzzz
#51
#52
Elin Noller 3 years ago
What? Ppl do that? I have only had to do that in preparation for procedures.
Terry Tobias 3 years ago
My doctors' offices do electronic check- ins the day before the appointment. I'd rather do the paper forms at the office; it's much easier.
Marie Dahme 3 years ago
I thought I was slick one day and had all my medical records on a flash drive. Nope, office made me fill out a million forms…geez.
#53
Tenacious Squirrel 3 years ago
Yep, you’re wild and free to do whatever you want including watching Bake Off and going to bed whenever you fancy. Pretty sure with a baby/kid you’d be doing neither or struggling with them.
Mary Peace 3 years ago
Go to sleep and dream of making beautiful, delicious and amazing cakes.
#54
Gaya Knust 3 years ago
So true! My anxiety already does the job without any other incentive...
#56
Terry Tobias 3 years ago
The first laptop that I bought that had a CD burner in it was magical to me!
Chris D'Asta 3 years ago (edited)
We valued the rarity of actually good music versus what everyone on the socials tells you to listen to. The current norm.
#57
Dave Lear 3 years ago
Extra butter on the crumpets, my heart bypass is on the taxpayer!
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#58
Marie Dahme 3 years ago
I used to work at a Mickey D’a in the 90’s! I had ALL the toys from all the happy meals. Man they’d be worth bank if I would’ve kept them!
Jessica Anderson 3 years ago
Back when playgrounds were made of wood and burning a*s hot metal slides! Best times
Andy Dwyer 3 years ago
Ray Kroc made sure McDonalds had ridiculously high quality standards and he died in the 80s. It was just a long slow descent into terribleness after that.
Juliette Deroulede 3 years ago
Me with a time machine: I'm gonna spend the night chopping open tea chests and tomorrow I'm going to a Regency ball... After we cross the Delaware.
#59
Duesvolent90 3 years ago
"Slowly climbs ladder onto roof" "Gazes at the sunrise like a boss" *Screams like a little schoolgirl*
KombatBunni 3 years ago
Who needs an alarm at 6am when you have a pair of cockatiels? Of which the boy will start chirping if you so much as pass gas too loud 😂
#60
Lazy Panda (she/her/hers) 3 years ago
OMG my limbs nod off all the time but my brain is all “we should Google what time the sun sets in Iceland” at bedtime
Natasha 3 years ago
In case anyone is curious 1st of July the sunrise is at 3:05 am and the sunset is at 23:56 pm Daylight = 20 hours 51 minutes 31st of July the sunrise is at 4:30 am and the sunset is at 22:35 pm Daylight = 18 hours 5 minutes For Iceland, here is a link for more information about sun setting in Iceland: https://adventures.is/information/what-time-does-the-sun-set-iceland/
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#61
#62
flutterbyy 3 years ago
Then continue to have an uncomfortable week from all the rashes and sleep deprivation and messed up digestive system.
Andy Dwyer 3 years ago
Last time I went camping with my friends, one of them insisted on getting dry ice for the cooler. I said "no, we don't need dry ice, regular ice will work just fine". I got out voted by everyone else. Jump ahead and we are all melting our beer over the fire.
Marie Dahme 3 years ago
I’d say dude let’s just picnic on the bed and order pizza and watch Netflix
Kylie Mountain 3 years ago
I come from a family that exclusively does 'wimpy camping.' Our summer vacations involved 'modern' state park cabins with electricity, water and bathrooms.
Spacey 3 years ago
Then I highly recommend backpacking up the Pacific Coast trail, w/ a 40lb pack.
Load More Replies... Terry Tobias 3 years ago
I always loved camping until the time I went with someone who had two little boys aged 3 and 5. Now I know why my mom hated camping.
#63
El Dee 3 years ago
For real, school is stressful for kids. Doesn't matter if it's just a 'letter' it's just as stressful as work stuff. We have less to worry about as kids but not NOTHING to worry about..
Full Name 3 years ago
Not only is it stressful, but I also have to carry around a 30lb backpack all day (that's super flimsy bc it has to be clear) and I have to worry about the other students and my social life :P
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Terry Tobias 3 years ago
Flash cards in math class gave me anxiety nightmares. HATED those things!
Mary Peace 3 years ago (edited)
They do the letters of the alphabet at kindergarten? That seems very young to me, bcos I'm in the UK.
#64
#66
Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
Yeah! 🤣 Are you opening an "ask pandas" challenge?
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TheNewJenBrady 3 years ago (edited)
Lol mine is The Simpsons. My mom wanted to get rid of it when she and my dad moved recently and I was not going to let that happen. That raggedy old Simpsons towel has been a constant in my life since we somehow ended up with it after a family vacation in the early 90's
Gaya Knust 3 years ago
Mine is with the Little Mermaid on it. I've had it since my pre teens but can't remember how I got it and neither does my mum. I use it to dry my hair when i wash it :)
Marie Dahme 3 years ago
This. I think someone in my family picked one up in the locker room at a public pool
Moosy Girl 3 years ago
TF!? I clearly remember having one but haven’t seen it in ages, where did it go, did it teleport to a new family? :-(
#67
Tessb90 3 years ago
I prefer finding one particular brand and style of sock, buying as many as can be afforded periodically. Then never need to try to match socks
Load More Replies... Marie Dahme 3 years ago
I keep ‘‘em all the same color. Doesn’t matter if one is longer than the other. They’re both white!
AlanandLeila Hoyt 3 years ago
What's more important is the same texture. One thin dress sock and a thick wool thermal sock for example
J loves cats 3 years ago
This is probably why they started selling mix and match sock packages.
Raccoon Queen 3 years ago
My youth minister in middle school was annoyed that her colorblind husband would wake her up at 5 am to tell him what color his socks were that she replaced all his socks to be white or black to avoid the problem
#68
Jessica Cifelli 3 years ago
Eveb fancier, call it a lenai like on the Golden Girls
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Vanessa Richardson 3 years ago
This reminds me of a tweet that said “my dumb*ss thought this foyer was a vestibule” and I still can’t stop thinking about it😅
#69
Bec 3 years ago
After 15+ years in our house, we are contemplating buying a bed frame. We may be a bit slow at this adulting thing
SkekVi 3 years ago (edited)
I sleep in a hammock at this point. I'm mid-thirties. XD ANARCHY!! DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU HOW TO SLEEP (hammocks are great on your back!)
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#71
Juliette Deroulede 3 years ago
I was a dandelion picker... Always hated sports...
Load More Replies... Amanda Rose 3 years ago
Ha! My niece and nephews spent their time chasing butterflies and drawing in the dirt.
Anna roberts 3 years ago
My center halfback (yes long ago) could bend down and pick a four leaf clover and still score a goal.
RedMarbles 3 years ago
A friend who coached little kids in team sports said they're all either gardeners or astronomers.
Mary Peace 3 years ago
Your kid isn't cut out for soccer. I had to play football at school in the UK, and hated it becos I didn't understand what I was supposed to do. So I'd go home and tell Mum, and she wanted me to have lessons in 'deportment', e.g. walking with a book balanced on my head.
Autistic apricot 3 years ago
The only one my knees would let me do (I have loose joints and there’s lots of things I can’t do)
#72
Marie Dahme 3 years ago
Roommate and friends posing as previous employees… lol
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AngelWingsYT 3 years ago
Me: sure but they got fired before i quite n the person that took over also got fired and person after THAT only knew me a week before i quite
Mary Peace 3 years ago
Whenever I filled in a job application, on paper, by hand, back in the dark ages around 1970/80, you had to include company name, job title and full contact details. If that info wasn't there, the application was filed in the bin.
#73
Delta Dawn 3 years ago
I have mine and 4 other people to schedule for. These 4 other people get to practice the fine art of patience and only seeing the dentist every couple of years
Gaya Knust 3 years ago
And all the while, checking WebMD to figure out what your symptoms mean lol
#74
Kylie Mountain 3 years ago
We definitely need a cooking show for people who 'cook' with a rotation of, like five different meals, some of them self-invented and vaugely disgusting to the rest of the world, plus a couple frozen microwave meals. During my year in a religious service program, only cooking for myself, I invented the Taco-Adjacent Thing. Open face tortilla, rice, ground chicken, honey mustard. I ate way too much of this over the course of the year.
J S 3 years ago
"Taco-Adjacent Thing" !! I just spit my popcorn nachos on my keyboard at that!
Load More Replies... KombatBunni 3 years ago
So would I.. I’ve done what I call kitchen magic, where you take stuff from the cupboards or fridge that’s been there hiding and make a decent meal..
Load More Replies... El Dee 3 years ago
There used to be a show where you'd a limit of what to spend and had to get it from a supermarket. This was more like what OP wants. Great show..
Mommitude Attitude 3 years ago
Guy's Grocery Games - sometimes they are told to buy only frozen items or only items from aisle 5, etc
Load More Replies... Delta Dawn 3 years ago
My first job I would bring a can of green beans for lunch and just eat them cold at my desk. Yes I am a legend
#75
Crabby phatty 3 years ago
Staying married doesn't mean they love each other
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#76
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
When i was 11, I was once talking s**t with my friend, and then I had to present on this thing I wrote with my group, and I turned into some news reporter or something. When I did it in front of the class, tho, I had a voice crack and I sounded like a dying chicken
GayBoi 3 years ago
Tbh when I was 11, every time I opened my mouth I sounded like a dying chicken. Almost 3 years later and nothing's changed.
Load More Replies... flutterbyy 3 years ago
Because you wanted sink into the floor and replay it in your head over and over and die multiple deaths out of first-hand embarrassment?
#77
Gaya Knust 3 years ago
Ha! With me, it depends. If I'm already procrastinating, even my own breathing distracts me lol
Miz Chelle 3 years ago
We have name for that in our family. SOS - Shiny Object Syndrome.... ooh, SQUIRREL!!!
ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
Dear Christ this is the only one that happens to me on a daily basis
SkekVi 3 years ago
I need music constantly, but it has to be the right music for what I'm doing. I have like 10 variations on every type of genre I listen to. Some are just one artist on shuffle. And sometimes I need no music but exactly the right ambient noise. I do not know how I got anything done before pandora and youtube and mynoise. XD Silence though? I don't know her.
#78
#79
Agent 8433599 3 years ago
How do you have this level of willpower? *Typed as watching Far From Home*
#80
GoldfishCrackers 3 years ago
My 3 year old asked for chocolate milk with Fruit Loops and my taste buds were appalled. That’s when I knew something inside me had shifted.
#81
Kylie Mountain 3 years ago
I've sworn off Harry Potter, but I do think the thing that gave the books real staying power was the realistic emotional ups and downs of being a teenager trying to sort yourself out.
#82
#83
El Dee 3 years ago
Weird how people manage to sleep thru their own dog barking. It's like they can't hear it. If this is you as a dog owner you are an AH..
ShellsBells 3 years ago
I had a neighbor who not only kept her daughters chihuahuas it the backyard so they could bark all night, but also had her smoke alarm chirp every minute for over a month. I think the battery finally died. Good times.
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Mary Peace 3 years ago
The post is funny, BUT if your dog is barking in the middle of the night and annoying the neighbours, you should deal with that. Obedience training, perhaps?
#84
Duesvolent90 3 years ago
While in slow motion you flip on a lighter and toss it behind you like a movie...Explosions in background
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#85
Sir Tarsier 3 years ago
My phone adjusts the time automatically so I don't even notice it at all nowadays
Mary Peace 3 years ago
When the clocks go back, there is always someone asking what you will do with that extra hour, as if you suddenly had a week of free time.
#86
Marie Dahme 3 years ago
But not to worry, we’re a family like atmosphere and we love team building exercises on Fridays too!
#87
Gaya Knust 3 years ago
Ever since I was a teen :( (no pollen allergy though, but the weather gets warm too quickly or I so much as smell mould, there goes my day)
Terry Tobias 3 years ago
I feel that. I went through two tissues just in the last few minutes.
Autistic apricot 3 years ago (edited)
Me existing: Allergies: haha I’ll make your eyes water, your nose go sniffly, and your day worse
KombatBunni 3 years ago
Every. Damn. Spring. As soon as I get a whiff of pollen my nose starts to run..
Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
Same for me cuddling up in bed or on the sofa because allergic to dust mites. 😖 "Oh I'll have a small nap, it'll be good for me..." - 45 mins later: agony.
#88
Gaya Knust 3 years ago
AH, but the secret is to crumble on the inside whilst keeping a smile on your face and pretending you got a handle on things
Mary Peace 3 years ago
On the other hand, rhubarb crumble on the inside means I've eaten it all.
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Cee 3 years ago
And when you’re eight, a classmate will point out a “fault” with you and you will always feel that little twinge of insecurity about it. Kids are a$$holes!! I’m talking to you James
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
I never even thought about noses until an asshat (not even a crush, just a random friend-of-my-neighbours-cousin type I never met before, or since) pointed out I had a big nose. Cue a few decades of self-consciousness
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Marie Dahme 3 years ago
I had a guy in high school tell me ..”aww, you’re so adorkable “. And I thought, omg is this a bad thing? A good thing? Does he know I like him? Lol
#90
Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago
I recently finished a 4-day cross-country drive. Some of that was on county roads - thanks a lot, Google Maps!
#91
#92
#93
Artsy Bookworm 3 years ago
Or better still hire a cleaning crew... Ok the hotel might be less expensive
Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
I liked your answer, not sure why you were downvoted
Load More Replies... Duesvolent90 3 years ago
Correct. She’s planting a brain ninja into the back of your head with a smile on her face but she’s really telling you “when I get back, it better be so clean when I fart and it should smell like fabuloso”.
#94
Robert Trebor 3 years ago
related comment: a 6-year-old told his teacher his grandma had been at his house over the weekend. "Where does your grandma live? "At the airport. Whenever we want we go and get her."
Reviewer UK01 3 years ago
So cute! One of my friends used to think Pakistan was in the sky because you had to go by plane.
Load More Replies... OGA 3 years ago
When our grandson was 2, he asked me if we could go to his aunt's house. I told him she lived way too far away. He said no she doesn't, took my hand and lead me to her "house". The only time he remembered seeing her other than when she visited in person was when we Skyped with her on my computer, so he thought she lived inside it.
Mary Peace 3 years ago
Lots of children used to think famous people lived inside the TV. Living in the computer is the updated version of that.
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#96
#97
#98
St34mpunk_Pirate 3 years ago
Anyone else notice the last name of this person and the last name of the person in the taco post are the same?
#99
#100
Firstname Lastname 3 years ago
I always dress like it'll be the cold version and end up tying my sweater around my waist like a butt cape when it's the warm 60.
Agent 8433599 3 years ago
"butt cape" LOL, that is the best thing I've seen all day 🤣
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Terry Tobias 3 years ago
I have a pair of sunglasses specifically for when it's overcast but also bright outside. I guess that alone makes me old.
#101
Artsy Bookworm 3 years ago
As long as I have an overactive brain I need no other distraction 😌
Bruce Ferrier 2 years ago
All kids in school will know that any computer or device can distract you
#102
Reviewer UK01 3 years ago
I hate washing my bed linen because I think all the neighbours think I wet the bed rather than I just like clean sheets (live in a line drying country)
Mary Peace 3 years ago
Do your neighbours hang their sheets on the line? I guess they like clean bed linen.
Load More Replies... MonsterMum 3 years ago
My mum doesn't like me hanging my underwear out in the garden as it is over looked by neighbours. What will they think? Hopefully they will think I wear underwear!
phil blanque 3 years ago
I went to the drug store with my 7 year old daughter to buy toilet paper. Standing in the line she said it was embarrassing to just be buying toilet paper. I said:"You know who should be embarrassed are the people NOT buying toilet paper. What are they using?"
Gaya Knust 3 years ago
I buy them from the chemist. They deliver to my flat, so one less anxiety issue to deal with :)
Mary Peace 3 years ago
When I was married, my then-husband wanted to buy some mouthwash. He went to the chemist's shop but came out empty-handed, saying he couldn't find it. He said he was too embarrassed to ask where it was, and he wasn't the anxious type.
CwtchyMama 3 years ago
Omg I'm like that buying condoms or fe mine hygiene products to the point I now buy them on Amazon ( I'm 41)
Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
I'm very insecure when going shopping but THIS is something I will never understand.
#103
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
When I was a kid, Friday the 13th meant my mum was going to warn me that it was Friday the 13th and I would spend the rest of the day trying not to die in some freaky Friday the 13th way. One time I said to her that Friday the 13th hadn't killed me yet and I swear the color drained from her face as she whipped out the rosary beads and began an immediate novena.
#104
Marie Dahme 3 years ago
And pressing zero gives you… you have marked an invalid response. Please try again.
Rosemary Booth 3 years ago
Why do the automated answering systems always say "Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed." No, they haven't. They're just trying to get you as angry and unhinged as possible before they finally let you speak with an actual person.
#105
Autistic apricot 3 years ago
Or even better, texts (if nothing isn’t an answer)
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#107
SkekVi 3 years ago
hobby would help with that. that's the whole point of the advice saying you should get one. 🙄
#108
Sophie 3 years ago
Hinge is a dating app, and it means he's not yet worthy of his real last name
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Gaya Knust 3 years ago
Once my mum called non-stop and it was to know how to make the phone show the percentage of battery at the top of the screen lol
I<3BanjosephTheDog 3 years ago
I got multiple calls while at work from my Mom. I thought it was an emergency...she needed me to tell my dog that everything is okay and I will be home later...
#110
Gaya Knust 3 years ago
Well, maybe I'm the only one, but I love the rain, so to me, that's when it's nice outside (and I want to go out)
Wolfe 3 years ago
I thought the "nice outside" meant a thunderstorm where you wrap yourselves in a blanket and drink tea
Load More Replies... Mary Peace 3 years ago
There are different types of 'nice'. I like late afternoon when it starts to cool down and cloud over (in the UK, but not at the moment, of course).
#111
GoldfishCrackers 3 years ago
The person whose life was changed by tacos has the same last name.
Kandi Heiple 3 years ago
Hinge is a dating app. Its James who she met on Hinge
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#113
Kristie French 3 years ago
Or do, do, do looking out your back door!! Hahahah. I can’t listen to that song without laugh. Toilet humor, not sorry.
#114
TheReader19 3 years ago
I put everything in the dishwasher, after spending my childhood washing dishes for six; it is illegal for me to wash anything by hand 🤣
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#115
phil blanque 3 years ago
As a teen, my buddy and I did a lot of graffiti...in alleys....with Tempera paint.
#118
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What do you think ?
Reba Jane 3 years ago
I thought a meme had to be a photo. I Googled it and now feel like I know nothing!
Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
Came here to ask, why is it called "50 Hilarious Memes..."
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LMDontKnow 3 years ago
I got one: When ur phone 70%>All good When ur phone turns 69%> AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
Mary Peace 3 years ago
Why does it matter? Sorry I'm not up-to-date with all the apps, but it's interesting/funny I don't care.
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Daniel Thompson 3 years ago
I am actually Mrbeast's cousin and he gave me 423846 dollars because he was bored.
Reba Jane 3 years ago
I thought a meme had to be a photo. I Googled it and now feel like I know nothing!
Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
Came here to ask, why is it called "50 Hilarious Memes..."
Load More Replies... LMDontKnow 3 years ago
I got one: When ur phone 70%>All good When ur phone turns 69%> AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
Mary Peace 3 years ago
Why does it matter? Sorry I'm not up-to-date with all the apps, but it's interesting/funny I don't care.
Load More Replies... Daniel Thompson 3 years ago
I am actually Mrbeast's cousin and he gave me 423846 dollars because he was bored.
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