50 Funny Posts That Have No Business Being So Spot-On

damn thats gotta sting

That makes me happy actually

Way too true. I even wander when i talk in person.

The reason she gets more likes for solo pictures of her, is that the pictures are actually being used to scare the mice from the barn. You might not be scary enough

It wasn't supposed to be.

My whole body just shivered in an awful way...

No, I'm much older. Was this ever a thing in the UK?

Carb induced sleep

Aye! Dire Straits: Money for nothin, the original extended version.... before some utterly, ridiculous and pathetic "group" of individuals got their k**ckers in a twist for one word!

I guess the reason I didn't progress more in tennis is that I didn't work hard enough on my expressions.

I once heard someone say, “everyone on the road is either an idiot or an a*****e” based on whether they’re slowing you down or speeding you up 🤣🤣

Yes, of course. Duh. So what’s your question?

Unfortunately no. I think Lisa was POTUS.

Why the fụck does everything need a screen?

I had one get stuck in my throat. Could not get to the water fast enough.

... and then you wake up at 0559

Equal excitement to see each other!!

Or train!

I first signed up for Facebook in 2004 I think....when it was only for students

Someone please explain the third Leg to me

As a teacher I hated observation days.

8 yo Me figuring out how to steal it while causing as much havoc as possible

Huh, I thought it was a bowling ball, but obviously not.

They look sleep deprived, but they’re still adorable (just like me fr)

I like the sound of that tbh

10? rookie numbers.

That is such a horrible feeling.

Or do a backup. You know your computer is going to crash the day before you plan to do a data backup.

and that's why dark mode exists for free, (cough cough except for on bp cough cough stop trying to kill our eyes cough cough)

always the school memories

*tonight

Jokes aside, I now appreciate a good sewing kit inside one of those tins...

Same, dude, same

People my age (early 40s) usually look maturely handsome/beautiful, and have a sense of fashion and appearance/hairstyling/etc. that they have refined over the years. And then there's me: herpaderp-...e1edee.jpg

Really interesting drawing… and really familiar.

Why 2020 exactly? I feel it more like 2024 to me 😂

Either their standards are really low, or they're not in love at all.

Why are you so obsessed with me?

i wish i was worth 1.25 million per minute

Only kickballs? There are a variety of sports balls on a healthy gym class ceiling, and also that one helium balloon that took literal years to pop

I was the only kid in my highschool to actually blow a hole in the ceiling of the biology lab! lol

Instagram influencers always gotta emphasize any curves

last xmas, I gave you my heart. The very next day, you gave it away...

I finished work for the year at midday this Friday just gone. Celebrated being on vacation by taking a nap.

This is oldd 2007 babies can learn to drive a car in some places

The opposite of this is "just one more chapter"

beauty is in the eye of the beholder - my beholder has no eyes

I would know immediately. And I would not be impressed - I'm in the pro-Pepsi minority.

I'm pretty sure I misinterpreted this one

😄

WMP was the absolute best!

Oh... oh no. That person is probably *not* alright, not for several weeks at least.

I feel this in the spongy stuff inside my bones that makes RBCs.

Maybe it's campy and possibly a bit pathetic, but I 💖 the precious moments children. The innocence always gave me hope amid a very tumultuous and traumatic childhood. I have very few truly positive memories, but these little figurines are one of them.

* no one

I generally don't care enough about social interaction to spill anybody's secret, unless it would prevent harm.

Mine is coughing like that right now, and I'm on my way there since he generously shared the germs that have apparently hit half of the population of his fully-in-person, post-pandemic school. Germs that presumably aren't covid , given that we had our boosters last month and have already had it three times so we'd actually probably be far less sick if it were. In Canada, there will forever be kids coughing this way between October and May.

I keep my heels inside shoes while shopping, so unless they have Xray vision, I'm afraid not.

That has happened to me before. The situation was beyond the teacher’s control (Digital gradebook issues) and she felt bad for the class, too. Thankfully, she was able to fix the issue quickly and we all got excellent grades on the project that initially tanked our overall class grades.

I AM smiling!

If it works, why change?