Parents Never Lack Funny Tweets And Here Are 30 Of The Funniest Ones They Shared In March
Interview With ExpertParenting is a rollercoaster and a whirlwind of a ride—fun and meaningful but also chaotic and ridiculously exhausting. Of course, it’s all worth the effort. However, something that helps parents around the world is knowing that no matter how bizarre or bad things get, others have probably been in their shoes at some point.
There’s nothing quite like having the entire internet as your support group, as many parents take to X (formerly Twitter) to share their best quips, stories, and insights. Bored Panda has collected some of the funniest and most relatable parenting tweets from this March to share with you. Scroll down for a reminder of just how awesomely weird being a parent can be and for a distraction from the mess (you may) have at home.
Bored Panda wanted to find out how parents can support each other more and how to turn absolutely awful days around, so we got in touch with Samantha Scroggin, the founder of the witty Walking Outside in Slippers parenting blog. Scroll down for her thoughts.
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not really, pretty sure using a nuclear bomb to cook a burger is a tad more dangerous
Bending over to deep fry your onion rings in the sun is also risky.
Load More Replies...I would think a flamethrower would only char the outside and leave the inside uncooked or, if held too long, incinerate the food beyond edibility.
It depends of the size. A small flamethrower would be useful for creme bruleé 🍮
We were curious to get Samantha's perspective on how parents can support each other, whether that's online or in person. We also asked her about the type of support that parents appreciate the most from each other.
"Parents supporting each other go a long way towards making the difficulties of parenting more bearable. We can be actively supportive of each other, in person and online. Let your friend know she's doing great and she's not alone. These comments really do make a difference," Samantha from Walking Outside in Slippers told Bored Panda via email.
"I believe we often worry that we are being judged by other parents. When really, we're all just concerned with the job we are doing," Samantha said.
"So we want to hear that we're not alone, especially when things get tough and we're not sure how we're doing."
Really! My daughter has started calling a group of people gathered, those humans over there. Kids say the darnedest things, it is hands down one of the best things about them. Kids are great.
Load More Replies...I inadvertently learned that a whiff of black pepper makes me sneeze violently, which relieves my congested sinuses.
Why not? My 3 year old is obsessed with world landmarks and she probably knows more than you do.
Load More Replies...About 20 minutes ago. We have an old GTE dial phone in the spare bedroom. It confuses visitors to our house.
Load More Replies...Lol. I never thought about that. Young people know nothing about land line telephones.
I'm 35 and I've technically never "hung up" a phone. I don't think I'm that young. But I did grow up with landlines, just not the kind you actually hung anywhere.
Load More Replies...Maybe your 6yo is reincarnated from someone who did actually have the kind of phone where hanging up was a thing, and he didn't see the old phone that you put the handle into.
Or, considering that reincarnation isn't real and the kid didn't seem to know what hanging up a phone is, they just didn't know what the phrase meant.
Load More Replies...It's inevitable that we'll have really bad days every once in a while when it feels like everything's falling apart at home. Bored Panda asked Samantha how parents might go about turning this around.
"When things are going off the rails at home, I suggest stepping away for a few minutes if you can. Even if that's locking yourself in the bathroom for five minutes," she told Bored Panda.
"And fresh air always helps. So if you can get the kids out on a walk, do it," she urged parents (and we heartily agree).
"I try to remind myself that hot mess days come with the territory. We are all juggling so much and doing the best we can. And we're all in this together."
Or your husband's overalls because he 'forgot' to put them in the laundry...
Well, why are you getting up to do it? You're just enabling his incompetence. Either he remembers to put them in the wash in time, or he gets up in the night!
Load More Replies...Been there, done that. 27 more minutes till the washing machine is done.
My mom made us shamrock pins out of green construction paper because I guess we didn't have any green clothes?
I'm not a parent of children, but I can also agree with this. She's a pit-bull BTW>
One nice aspect of living alone is eating when I'm hungry rather than the time.
Seriously I never understood families who ate really late especially when you were a kid and coming back from school if you ate lunch at 11:00 you're starving even by 5:00 let alone some of those families that don't eat till like 7:00
Personally, I finish work at 5.30, pick my daughter up and get home at about 6.15 at which point I start cooking. She snacks after school to tide her over but eating any earlier would mean I'd have to work part time so just isn't feasible.
Load More Replies...Having a good sense of humor, looking for the silver lining, and being grateful for what you have are powerful tools in your arsenal. And they’ll keep you going no matter the challenges you face at work or school, in your relationships, or in your family life.
Laughing when things get tough—your home is a mess, your kids are screaming, you forgot to do the groceries, and the dog needs to go for a walk—can be very powerful. You show that despite everything that’s going on, you’re resilient.
Of course, it’s natural to get upset when things don’t go your way. Everyone’s human, and it’s often hard to focus on the positives when you’re exhausted, burnt out, and wondering how all those Instagram moms and dads lead such ‘perfect’ lives.
They're not though; we just call them 'birds' now. Chicken nuggets are dinosaur nuggets, and the fastest animal on earth is a small flying dinosaur that preys on other flying dinosaurs. That's a very cool world to live in!
Take him to a petting zoo or farm tour where there are adult turkeys. Those things can be real meanies!
They'll be back soon. We already have wooly mammoth mice thanks to Crispr.
And birds with the human speech gene spliced in. They cant exactly talk but there is a noticible difference in the way they vocalize.
Load More Replies...I don't think they ever do. I once knew three sisters who were friends of my grandparents. Even when they were I their 70s they bickered and fought.
Fight, fight? Like jack to the jaw? It's past 27 and 31. In between our birthdays, which are 5 days apart, a week before Christmas. That would have been 2002. He did deserve it.
The reality is that there’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ parent. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone loses their cool from time to time. Everyone has tiny meltdowns from time to time. And anyone who pretends that they don’t probably has a flawless social media image to protect.
Laughter isn’t just something enjoyable that human beings do: it boasts plenty of benefits for our physical health, mental state, and even social life. Verywell Mind explains that when we laugh often, it can increase our antibody-producing cells and enhance T-cell effectiveness, which means a stronger immune system.
What’s more, laughing more often leads to lower rates of cardiovascular disease, which is great for your heart. It can also potentially lead to a lower chance of developing metabolic syndrome, and by extension, diabetes, stroke, and heart disease. Overall, as your cardiovascular health increases due to laughing regularly, you end up being more fit and living longer.
I have been in that building many times. It was the Well Fargo building in Jacksonville Florida.
My mother never let the presence of children hamper her colorful language, but lo the poor child who repeated the words. She graduated from the parenting school of Do As I Say, Not As I Do.
OK so here's how it works. Buy 10 boxes, put 4 in the freezer, and announce you bought two boxes. This ensures you have 2 boxes for 3 weeks
Load More Replies...Guy at work sells this crack for his daughters. Yes, I bought 4 boxes of tagalongs.
Free time means the mini dino is asleep. And that means I sleep, too
I would like to have free time... But then somehow 4 hours passed and I didn't realize.. but when I go to bed, hours seem to enlarge and never pass... And the next day I'm even more tired than the day before...
Laughter can also ease pain, reduce the chance of developing functional disabilities, and literally strengthen your core muscles. Though, of course, you shouldn’t neglect other forms of exercise just because your love of comedy gives your abs a regular workout.
The CDC recommends that adults get at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity per week, as well as 2 days of muscle-strengthening activity per week.
You can respect and love nature and accept our position in the food chain at the same time
And want ethically treated animals in that consumption.
Load More Replies...My son told me he loved vegetables, that's why he's not eating them.
Mine dosent want to eat meat unless the animal has lived a long fulfilling life and is already ready to pass... can't disagree on the purity of that thought, but how to break the news of us having chickenwings for dinner? 🫣❤️
My daughter (8 on Thursday!) is absolutely nuts about the natural world and biology and wants to be a paediatrician. We only eat meat about twice a month and I made a stifado (Greek stew with beef) last time. She had to dissect every single piece and ask what everything was. "Oh, those are the muscle fibres, sweetie. You see how they are long and thin and all point in the same direction?" "Yes, that's the fat. That's what kept the animal warm and gives the meat its flavour." "Those bits are tendons. Because I cooked this dish for a long time, they melt in the mouth. But if you don't cook them enough, they are chewy because they're super strong in order to hold the skeleton together." She made notes afterwards, with drawings!
I too love animals like I love ice cream - because they both taste great.
No not really. I advocate for treating animals better in the processing of meat not stopping it.
Load More Replies...I live near a primary school. I can always tell when it's break time because there is a background soundtrack of SCREAMING for 15 minutes.... I don't remember being a kid and screaming all thru playground time... Is it a 'modern' thing??
I was a screamer and that was 40-50 years ago. I’m going with, nope, not a new thing.
Load More Replies...They take turns. There's always one kid screaming at any given time. Be a teacher and you will appreciate quiet like never before.
Taking care of your health and fitness isn’t just good for you, it’s great for your family, as you have more energy to spend time with them, you’re less tired all the time, and, as a bonus, you live longer. And, let’s face it, from a practical standpoint, you can do a lot more at home (and with a cheerier attitude) when you’re not exhausted.
Not only that, but you’re setting a good example for your children to follow. Namely, that getting lots of movement, eating nutritious food, sleeping well, drinking plenty of water, and generally spending time on your physical and mental health first is something that should be a priority.
This. My grandson likes Adley. Why is Adley's dad such an obnoxious a$$#@!!?. I'm the fun grandma and I manage to move through life without squealing.
My grandson is 6 and lives with me. His favorite YouTube channel is called Lanky Box. I don't understand the appeal of watching someone play games. But, I ain't 6 either so.....
Load More Replies...I'm a mean mom.... so we don't let the kids watch youtube at home. We let them watch tv-channels for kids. But youtube is a no. Except for ca 2 times per year when we cave in and let the kids watch youtube for one evening. They also watch yt at their grandparents' home and sometimes in school, I think? But I'm a mean mom who simply can't stand the noises of most of the things my kids want to watch.
Verywell Mind also notes that laughter lowers your stress levels, improves depression symptoms by altering the levels of neurotransmitters in your body, and serves as a distraction when something bothers you.
Laughter can also change your perspective on the difficult things you’ve experienced, reframing things as far less severe than they may have been. This, in turn, is good for your mental health.
Once I was forced to hold off a pack of feral teens. Luckily that day I was dual-wielding a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk.
This makes me think of the Kevin Bridges sketch about how intimidated he is by the teens in the area of Glasgow he can now afford to live in.
Load More Replies...My first husband had about 60 allergies. I kept telling him he'd better be nice to me--I cooked his meals and I could poison him anytime I wanted.
Gordon Ramsay is an absolute bell end. All these programs with some mouthy cünt how demeanors and redicules other people's work reserves a kick in the unnameables.
You need to teach them to say thank you first, and then offer tips to improve. For example (out of the mouths of my children) 'thank you Mummy's so much for cooking. Unfortunately that wasn't your best effort and definitely not to my taste. Have you thought about doing x/y/z?'. Yes that's what I need. Cooking tips from 9 year olds.
I hate GR. There is absolutely no need to be such an obnoxious a*s. Unless he really is.
Moreover, laughter is a wonderful way to connect with others and deepen your relationships over shared jokes. And it’s this social aspect of comedy, as well as spending quality time with your spouse, kids, family, and friends, that might—arguably—be the most important thing to focus on in life.
According to an 80-year study on human happiness at Harvard, it’s your close relationships and social connections that are the most crucial to your wellbeing. Forbes explains that these relationships are the key to your health and happiness, more so than anything else that you do.
I raise you my 87 year old granddad deciding to buy an iPad with what he calls "the wand" (stylus, in case that isn't clear)
A wand is a much better word for it, although it does make me think of the vaginal wand (not at ALL magical) used for my ultrasounds in early pregnancy.
Load More Replies...A while back, a customer told me she'd Venmo the payment she owed. I told her I don't do Venmo, and I'll expect the check in the mail by the end of the week. I'm tired. I don't want to learn news ways of doing things.
I send them to the park and curl up on the sofa with my book and a cup of coffee! If it's rainy, we have a "quiet time" rule between 1.30pm and 3pm. They can play upstairs together but only if they are fairly quiet and they are both having fun. Last time, they devised an acrobatics show set by the light of the "moon" made out of a circle of yellow tissue paper with a nightlight behind. 7YO daughter managed to wrangle her 3YO brother into my sparkly old ballet tutu while she was a bird with a cape. We all loved it!
Suggestion: put them down for an hour long nap. Tell them everyone is going to clean house when they wake up. You will get a 3 to 4 hour nap before they get hungry.
Load More Replies...Most parents would be appalled at the amount of coats, hat, gloves, etc that are 'abandoned' every school year.
Favourite saying to my youngsters: take it with you. If you don't need it - fine; if you do need it you've got it with you. Cue young teen shivering in a short sleeved t-shirt and putting his coat on.
Of course you can. Just avoid wool and plain boring colors... And tell them this are not coats, but fur. There you go.
I feel like I was the only kid who actively wanted to wear a coat. But then again, I run cold.
LOL, I remember my dad nagged me about coats all the time when I was a kid!
“People with more robust social connections showed lower rates of diabetes, arthritis, cognitive decline, and other chronic conditions. The researchers hypothesize that close relationships act as ‘stress regulators’—they help our bodies calm down and return to equilibrium after being revved up by challenging events.”
School e mail and Whatsapp messages should be forbidden... DON'T those people have anything else to do??? D.amn
When we were kids, if we asked our parents how to spell something, we were told to look it up in the dictionary. Um...how?
My mum would do the same when I was knee high. I'd ask her what a word meant that I'd read and she'd tell me to look it up. Good for improving vocabulary!
However, positive relationships take a lot of sustained effort to develop. They’re cultivated, they don’t ‘just happen.’ You have to be very proactive and intentional with them.
So, instead of just posting things online, you also have to make plans with your family and friends, join communities and social groups, and try to reach out to people.
My brother in law was watching me clean out the car after our 20 hour drive from Michigan. "oh, gave 'em raisins for a snack, good idea" "They had grapes Jim.. grapes".
That reminds me: have to buy donuts for the big drive coming up at Easter (900km in one hit)
I wouldn't mind one of those industrial vending machines filled with earplugs, safety glasses, gloves, marking pens, etc. that's kept stocked by an outside vendor (and still costs a penny).
Have you explained that you can't give yourself a nickname, it has to be given to you?
Of course you can give yourself a nickname. Parents just did enough damage picking their "original" name.. just let kids nickname themselves for mental health
Load More Replies...What has your own parenting journey been like, dear Pandas? What advice would you give new parents to help them deal with all the ups and downs of raising kids? What do you personally find the most difficult when it comes to being a parent?
Are you part of any social media parenting groups, or do you have a support group you meet with in person? If you have a spare moment, share your hard-won wisdom in the comments below.
We had a class called 'drivers ed' in high school. You had to pass the written test and driving test before going to Dept of Motor Vehicles to get your license.
BOTH my kids had about 2 hrs behind the wheel before they started Driver's Ed. Local cop told me "If someone pulled you over, just tell 'em it's pre driver's ed, they'll let you go". Of course it should be noted we are very rural.
Load More Replies...I was SOOOO grateful that my state required kids to learn driving from an accredited school. I know how it went when my mom was teaching me to drive.
If I had to learn from someone other than my mom(who knows how I learn) or online school(that I finished before I even turned 15), I'd probbably cry
No matter how much cleaning and tidying I do, my house at best resembles a junk shop, and at worst looks like a tornado has just gone through it.
I remember my mom had a needlepoint sampler on the kitchen wall when I was growing up. "Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing, is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
When my 2YO had to go to hospital, he mainly focussed on the fact he got to go in an ambulance.
Sounds like they should've snuck in another carton of milk too!
My son just casually dropped a 400 dollar massage chair into my Amazon cart. Like, really dude?
Load More Replies...Found out I had male pattern baldness one spring on trip to Florida. Outside several hours one day. Kinda like the Beatles song : Woke up. fell outa bed, ran a comb across my AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
well, no cuz I'm 13 and I wake up at 8:00 am every morning lol
Load More Replies...All I know is Mud nests are usually chill but paper nests are demonic murder flys
In case you wonder why they build tubes. They stuff them with dead spiders. so if you don't like spiders, the wasp is your friend. But then the spiders k**l so many other pests. Its complicated. I'm scared of spiders.
Load More Replies...Kid might be on to something here. Replace the water with milk when making the coffee and save a step
They used to do that with this Cuban coffee at a hospital I worked at. It was amazing. I haven’t been able to recreate it
Load More Replies...The first bottle is important. The second and third... kinda doesn't matter what vintage ya pick.
We are a family of 5, getting ready to move from Virginia to North Dakota. 1500 miles, driving, with 3 kids and a dog. We leave in a week...I might not survive.
Sending thoughts and prayers! You'll survive, but may be permanently scarred.
Load More Replies...We had the brilliant idea on a long road trip of letting the new teen driver get some highway practice on the emptier stretches of interstate. Quickly discovered how bad an idea that was, because trucks, trucks, and more trucks
"There are two levels of travel - first class and with children." - Robert Benchley
I don't know what pickleball is, I have heard of it frequently but I daren't look it up because I think it'll ruin my idea of what it *should* be!
Fun fact: Buttload is an actual measurement. One barrel size was called a butt.
A butt approximately equated to 108 imperial gallons (130 US gallons; 491 litres) for ale or 105 imperial gallons (126 US gallons; 477 litres) for wine But who is counting.
Ditto for soccer where I live. As a bonus at our school's ground, it gets super foggy on winter mornings. Half the time I was stood there out in the freezing cold barely able to see my kid once they were down the other end of the field
Personally, I think my kids are the nice things that more than make up for the knackered coffee table, the marks all over the walls and the mud and sand sprinkled all over the patio.
I tried to do a roly poly on the bed to try and get my 2YO to like me. My neck is only just back to normal now, 18 months later. I definitely overestimated my abilities there.
Yeah, all kids think their parents walked with dinosaurs and they're only in the present through the magic of time travel.
I DID get my husband a star wars t shirt that says "rebel scum since 1977"
Quod Erat Demonstrandum (what had to be demonstrated)
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