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Parenting is all about love, balancing priorities, managing responsibilities... And being able to laugh about all of it, of course!
Twitter moms and dads are completely honest about raising their kids. What's more, they often confess their trials and tribulations in the funniest ways.
Just like every month, we've rounded up some of best tweets about about parenting, so upvote your favorite entries as you continue scrolling down, share your own funny stories in the comments, and check out Bored Panda's previous collections of funny parenting tweets here: September, August, July, May, April, March, February, and January.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
JuJu 5 years ago
My son will be back tomorrow from a holiday with his grandparents and for a few days it will be like my father moved in.
Moms and dads making fun of their struggles on Twitter isn't necessarily a bad thing, too. With school, housework, and the kids' after-school activities taking over their time, parents got a lot on their plate. It's easy to become socially isolated from the outside world when your everyday life is so hectic and make a mistake or two. Accepting and laughing at them allows them to move on.
Vicki Broadbent, for example, successfully juggles a thriving business with raising a family, and she said owning your hiccups is just a part of the journey. "When I mess up, I hold my hands up, admit it, and explain to my children what happened ('Mummy shouted because she was tired'). I also always apologize," the founder of Honest Mum and author of Mumboss, told Bored Panda."It's a strength, not a weakness to say sorry. Being honest about my failures with my children humanizes me as a parent and, most importantly, it normalizes making mistakes. They're a natural part of life and we're all learning and growing. I want my kids to know that while I'm teaching them the difference between right and wrong and the importance of empathy and forgiveness."
RELATED:
#2
glowworm2 5 years ago (edited)
Yeah, that sounds a lot less violent. A man is at risk of dying if you can't spell out the word in time.
Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki 5 years ago (edited)
But you learn how to put a dismembered corpse back together and then hang it.
Lunar Owo Potato 5 years ago
I uh guess I'm dumb I've failed multiple times but i have succeeded i think.
Mohammad Abbas 5 years ago
Except in the game they treat murder like murder, while in hangman it's treated very casually. I think casual dismemberment is worse than acknowledged violence.
Load More Replies...Vicki said that her family genuinely has a lot of fun. They sing, dance, watch comedies, and always strive to seek the positives in life. "We as parents don't take ourselves too seriously and laugh at ourselves so our children follow suit." Keeping a family together is a lot of work. But offers so much opportunity to have a good time, too, so why not use it?
"Having children is truly a gift," Vicki said. "It gives you as a parent a second chance at childhood. You can live vicariously through your kids; you can see the world anew through their young eyes, and best of all, you get to eat more candy (!) and lose your inhibitions more (I've been known to dance around the supermarket)! It's a maternal right to embarrass your kids, right!"
The mother is fully aware that having kids is a huge responsibility but like everything in life, she always questions herself, 'Am I having fun?'
"Childhood is a short and precious window to be enjoyed so we as parents must protect this time for our children and harness happiness where possible."
#3
Natasha Chick 5 years ago
Omg I did this in one of my team meetings during lockdown...its good to know I'm as clever & mature as a 5 year old.
Hans 5 years ago
Frankly, five year old on Zoom is somethig that can never replace physical contacts (although two year olds will understand the basic concept).
Enalpria 5 years ago (edited)
Wow, he thought of this and he's only 5! This boy is going places!
blugeagua 5 years ago
He said HER. He was clearly talking about his DAUGHTER. So SHE is a smart 5 year old. How did you miss that?
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#4
Gon Freecss 5 years ago
When i'm babysitting my siblings im really tired in the morning so i "sleep" but i'm a light sleeper so the second it gets too quiet i pop up quick and yell for them and ask what they're doing.
Flash Henry 5 years ago
My father always said, if it goes quiet for more than 5 minutes, get the fire extinguisher.
Roadkill The Brave 5 years ago
My nephew tried to scare me for over 15 years. He finally succeeded by not trying to scare me intentionally. That being said I almost killed my roommate who he had been mimicking. He about gave me a heart attack just making some random noise. She does that because she's almost deaf, he was just copying her because he does that and was trying to annoy me.
Luisa Vasconcelos 5 years ago
My 5 years old son started doing this yesterday. It's so cute that he thinks he can foolish me.
#5
MagicalUnicorn 5 years ago
i was 6 for good 2 years when trains were free for kids, now i'm 30 for 4 years or so :D
Obi Wan Kenobi 5 years ago
When I was still a cute toddler, hotels gave me free upgrades :D Good times :(
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Victor van Schagen 5 years ago
I've noticed that this is basically a control mechanism. Something we tell children, solely for the purpose for THEM to always tell US the truth. As adult, honesty is an untenable and unworkable premise :-)
Astrid Nineor 5 years ago
Or you could be grateful that kids get to eat free at all? No such thing here *grumpy grumble*
JessG 5 years ago
It really depends on where you go here, not all places do that
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Rob 5 years ago
"I want you to be honest. Unless we're talking about gaining a few dollars; then I want you to screw over someone trying to make an honest living.". Can we please stop pretending this is funny...?
Mohammad Abbas 5 years ago
If losing 10 dollars is "screwing someone over" then they really should increase pay or just get rid of the eat free bit entirely.
Load More Replies... Mary Peace 5 years ago
I guess this is like the woman reaching the age of 29, and stopping there. Hard for a child to understand that 'sometimes it's OK to lie', though.
#6
Berlinda Dunbar-Nye 5 years ago
I was insane. My son's are 15 years apart. So by the time I had the wee one waking me up at awful hours pre-dawn, I'd just fallen asleep worrying about the older one getting home an hour or two earlier ;-)
#7
Kakofonyx 5 years ago
Do it before they change their minds. You will never get another chance at freedom!
COcO BAMa 5 years ago (edited)
Annie is not anime its a live action movie where you get anime from ?
Load More Replies... #8
MonicaChicagoGal 5 years ago
Try sitting on the toilet with a 2 year old in between your feet LOL
Rachel Connot 5 years ago
My 6 year old did this. When I told her to please get out, she crawled in the tub and said she wouldn't look.
#9
Robin DJW 5 years ago
That's my husband. he's 72 going on 6 and he still hits me multiple times a day with "guess" questions. Drives me nucking futs.
Obi Wan Kenobi 5 years ago
Guess what? 5G causes coronavirus! Mother: You are not my son anymore.
Clearly sunny 5 years ago
Oh my god, if my son asks me one more time to guess again my brain will die!.
#11
marie elle 5 years ago
My 16 year old called me: " mom, everything is allright, the cops are already here!" 3 pm. Didn't think much. 10 Minuites later a cop called me, told me my son had a severe amnesia, beeing sent to hospital after being hit while trying to sell a camera. For days I was afraid that he might not have lerned anything bc of his memory loss, but he was more carefully afterwards.
Out of chocolate 5 years ago
My little brother- age five- from another room- “MOMMY DO WE HAVE A FIRE EXTINGUISHER?” “...why?!” “NO REASON JUST NEED TO KNOW!” He’s now a fire protection engineer.
Mary Peace 5 years ago
The child is saying the same reassuring words many parents say to their child, so maybe she's just repeating them back, not even thinking of a specific thing to be afraid of.
#12
Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago
Kids have no filter whatsoever. If you want an honest appraisal, ask a six year old.
Mary Peace 5 years ago
So do we teach kids to be honest, all the time? Compare with child having to pretend she's younger to get free food.
#13
Deborah B 5 years ago
It could be the curtains, sibling hair, cat whiskers, clothes, or many other fun, fun things.
Mary Peace 5 years ago
I want to know what happened. Read the comments below and imagining all sorts, now.
Rachel Reynolds 5 years ago
my 8 year old recently grabbed the scissors at around 9:00 at night, Me: why do you need scissors? Him: Nothing. I love you. -Not suspicious at all
#14
Zenozenobee 5 years ago
When my 4yo is angry at her 6yo brother, she goes for "aaaaahhh you're annoying like an adult!" and it's a really serious offense considering his expression.
glowworm2 5 years ago
My cousin and I used to constantly state "You're a little creature" to one another when we were little. Sometimes, other adjectives were used, but it was generally exactly that. We weren't calling each other names or making fun of each other. Just playing a weird little game.
#15
Path of Totality 5 years ago
Agreed. Plus, no 13-year-old kid wants to entertain his baby cousin.
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MustardLemon 5 years ago
Me being kind of a moody teenager now, my cousins, who i havent seen in person for like 1 yea, came for a visit. The oldest one preceeds to say "Why is she acting weird?" to my mom. My mom tells him its probably because im older now and im a teenager. and he goes "Oh i forgot how much i hate teenagers." :/ wow kid. Thanks.
Path of Totality 5 years ago
I'm sorry but if I was upset about something the LAST thing I'd want is an asshole kid saying that to me...
#16
Deborah B 5 years ago
Squash the loo roll before you put it on the holder, so it doesn't spin freely, but sort of thumps. It makes it so much less fun to unwind it all, and stops it happening accidentally.
Tim Douglass 5 years ago
OK, this comment should probably in the top 10 Lifehacks for parents and pet owners!
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Mary Peace 5 years ago
Oh dear. I read this a few days ago and kept imagining the kid having to stay in the bathroom while the rest of the family came in and out, and him spinning round and getting dizzy... I have a vivid imagination - is there a support group please?
#18
Aleksandra Elias 5 years ago
They should also not hurt their siblings, that's important. And the should share with them
Swifty The second 5 years ago
*Pulls pin of grenade* here have this brother..
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Giles McArdell 5 years ago
You just quoted my mother. I'm a third child and am currently typing this with my nose.
Jeff Requier 5 years ago
Dont do crazy things if you cant handle the consequences, Im not going to be a first responder at home.
Don Williams 5 years ago
First kid - bubble wrap furniture, know where they are at all times, and wait up until they get home - say three in the morning - even after they turn 30. 4th kid - juggles hand grenades at Burger King and and they say is "Ain't that cute!"
#19
Katie Garr 5 years ago
or, in my case as a 5 y/o: cut my hair right before church on easter morning!
#20
Flisey 5 years ago
We have a google thingy in the lounge and the kids still ask me, apparently it's easier if I ask the google thingy...
Isle_of_stressed_pilots 5 years ago
I think its because they adore you and respect you that pretty much any feasible answer you say, will be correct to them. They pretty much trust you more than google lmao
Load More Replies... Banjo Peppers 5 years ago
To be totally fair, it’s hard to google some words if you’re not sure how to spell them. Like i just googled young me’s only idea how to spell “chaos” and none of the results were for the word.
Mary Peace 5 years ago
I feel ancient. In my day you had to get the dictionary - yes, an actual book from the shelf - and look it up. And if you didn't know the first few letters you were stuck.
COcO BAMa 5 years ago (edited)
my kid always asking me how to spell stuff i always tell her to look it up or go into the dictionary but one day my kids tells me '' I cant because i cant spell the word how do i look it up or find it ill just get the wrong word'' then it clicked i was living with a genius
Berlinda Dunbar-Nye 5 years ago
I am our family dictionary. I've also worked at our Library Ask line for a number of years. When I don't want to be their Google dictionary on my days off.... they threaten to call and harass us with weird questions my next shift.
#21
Obi Wan Kenobi 5 years ago
I once had a toy car where my mom would force me to rehearse this stupid beauty for the car to frickin flip (with a spring). I'm going to be a mechanic and physicist and how the f**k do I not know that?!
#22
Bonnie Jarrett 5 years ago
Omg so true! I have a VERY sarcastic father and a VERY passive-aggressive mother. I'm the least-liked person...EVER lol.
kira griffin 5 years ago
this is the same for me! my dad is very sarcastic and teases in mean ways, and my mom has anger issues... I can be very mean, and I'm an aries, so . . .
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Gon Freecss 5 years ago
Oh my gosh thats so true! My stepmom is sarcastic and now my little sister is! She is also bossy! She once took all her books and put them in the living room so I told her to pick them up to which she replied "No, someone else will" damn child.
lara 5 years ago
Trust me, sarcasm is talent. Not "overt" but the subtle kind, the kind where two days later you realize that you were really, really insulted. Like when you show someone a picture of your newborn, who, obviously, looks like a potato, and they say "Oh, he/she/it looks JUST like you, you must be so proud."
Artoonist Corine 5 years ago
This. Is. Fact. We adopted 4 kids. First 3 are mildly sarcastic. The last one - the one who came to us as a 2 day old baby is the most sarcastic, quick-witted mouth ever. Of course we blame each other.....
Victoria Swift 5 years ago
Yep. My five year old rolls her eyes and says, "Whatever" like a 16 year old whose just been told no when asking to go to an unsupervised party.
#23
Jackson Allinder 5 years ago
WhY NoT A ShE??????? Lmao, we need to learn the way of me. I found a turtle, named it something before I knew the gender. It's name is Turt Reynolds
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#24
Panda Kicki 5 years ago
Nah, they are all closed due to Covid. As are the gyms . Maybe a tent i the forest? Bring lots of blankets 😜
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Remi Flynne 5 years ago
Your homework. Then the washing up, clean your room and take your parents breakfast in bed Saturday AND Sunday.
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Katelyn 5 years ago
No this is parenting done right. Some discipline is good for kids. Sometimes parents just get tired and at one point they dont care anymore. If the kid isnt breaking anything, hurting anybody, or going places they shouldn't then they are fine. Do you have kids? Do you know how to raise them? Do you know how hard and tiring it is? If not then dont judge parents on how they raise their kids please.
Load More Replies... #25
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
The grandparents came to visit and we joined them for a few days at the hotel they were staying at by the coast. There is a brightly coloured toilet brush in the bathroom and for some reason, the two-year-old took a fancy to it. Me: "No, no, no, that's yucky!" Me again, later, when I happen to see him being a Very Good Child, cleaning the toilet bowl with his bottle brush: "Noooooooo!".
Lauryn Macauley 5 years ago
My 1.5 y/o wouldn’t stop trying to brush his hair with the poop end of the brush until I locked it under the sink
#26
Hans 5 years ago
Never say "Don't do that", "Do not look there", "Do not touch this". The "not" is not perceived. Rather: "Do this instead", "Look over here", "Hey, did you see this (*pointing into the other direction*)".
Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago
Sorry to say but some kids will hear that into their adult life.
Kennedy Longworth 5 years ago
Me to kid I'm babysitting: Don't touch that! It'll hurt you! (rusty nail) Kid: THIS nail?! *pokes nail* Me: gives up comepletley
#27
ravina nimje 5 years ago
I feel that too, sometimes my scalp hurts so I don't want to brush my hair. and I am 30 year old.
Banjo Peppers 5 years ago
What the heck, I just left the exact same comment before seeing this. (Deleted it to not be repetitive)
Load More Replies... MonicaChicagoGal 5 years ago
I totally understand her my hair has been tired since March 18th when lockdown started, tired hair is Ok HAHAHA.
#28
Suzanne Clark 5 years ago
My three year old said "you need more makeup Mommy"...even worse, I replied "what kind?" Now I'm taking makeup advice from a kid?
Lynn Marie 5 years ago
I immediately thought of the song with the lyrics "I say a little prayer for you . . ."
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago
That's a song, when angels deserve to die or something like that.
#29
Freloise_Raven 5 years ago
>:( Seriously? People cry and you think it’s funny that this one parent doesn’t like a kid because they cry?
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Freloise_Raven 5 years ago
Maybe she’s sad. People cry sometimes and it’s ok. No matter how loud they are.
Mary Peace 5 years ago
3 isn't much different from 3yo which seems to be used so much now. I'm new to this type of site, because I don't really use social media, but I've got used to seeing 3yo now.
Load More Replies... #30
CAELYN MORALES 4 years ago
It's Raining Tacos, From out of the sky, tacos, no need to ask why just open your mouth and close your eyes...
#31
Purr·maid 5 years ago
How embarrassing that would be for the kid. Not to mention traumatizing.
Lydsylou 2 years ago
The kids a toddler I doubt they'd care. Probably find it hilarious and show everyone
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S. 5 years ago (edited)
What I am hearing is “I dare you to go to France and annoy the people there”
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Colleen Chace 5 years ago
Payback for all us newly initiated homeschooling parents teaching our kids old-school math has fallen on you. Apologies. They remind us of their power with this exponential increase in parental annoyance. I will learn new math...no one should go thru this...
#33
SirPatTheCat 5 years ago
Honestly I can’t see the point of preschool zoom. What would happen thats not detrimental to anyone involved? I have no idea how it would even work.
Little Wonder 5 years ago
A friend of mine says her kid learned a bit, but mostly enjoyed seeing everyone they couldn't see in lockdown.
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#34
Gage Franke 5 years ago
Obi Wan Kenobi I'd only ever spank my kid if they were bullying another kid or something as bad as that. Even then, I'd never do it too hard.
#35
MonicaChicagoGal 5 years ago
I'm glad my son was mostly quiet liked to suck is thumb while sticking his pointer finger up his nose and stare at you - he's normal now BWAHAHAHA.
Load More Replies... SirPatTheCat 5 years ago
I have a little cousin who, when very young, would just be a brat for no reason. Most of the time, this is normal for kids, and it passes, but the issue was that she was a *determined* brat, and would wriggle her way out of things by just making everyone around her so so tired of her crap haha ( I think it was more of a personality thing than like a power struggle with them, she was just too young to know how to express what she wanted and got frustrated easily). So one time she was about to go into full meltdown mode in a restaurant because she wanted a specific food (that she didn’t order) and this absolute angel of a waitress talked to her and not only deciphered the 3 year old blubbering and went and got her that food, but also brought along an extra coloring page. Meltdown averted! That waitress got a very generous tip!
Biana Vacker 5 years ago
FUN FACT; until kiddies are around 5yrs old (more or less depending on the kid) they have no respondent/way to judge other's feelings. Basically, until kids are around 5, they are tiny lil sociopaths
Wanna-be Vegetarian 5 years ago
I know this isn't the point but why are people taking their kids out to eat at restaurants in the middle of a pandemic? Just curious.
Mary Peace 5 years ago
When she goes out with her friends she'll get bought drinks on the strength of that story. Actually intelligent questions for a 3yo.
#36
Carol Anne Benoit 5 years ago
My little boy, who was never afraid of anything, had nightmares about that one.
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StrangerOfTheDark 5 years ago
Try something that was pivotal in MY life: The Graveyard Book, maybe have them watch Jurassic Park. The original not the remake.
Victoria Swift 5 years ago
It's engrained to hate what we love. I found out this week my kids hate Hocus Pocus. How can you hate that!?
Evil Little Thing 5 years ago
Y'all need to stop being so judgy. People like to read different stuff. Some kids like slice of life genre, some like grimdark.
#37
Ty Stratton-Quirk 5 years ago
"Words hurt." That's a lesson I learned when I dropped a dictionary on my foot.
*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago
dw, my sister 1) cut her cornea with her toothbrush when she was trying to brush her teeth (about 6 years old) and 2) got a papercut on her eye with band music, and then as soon as she could see again and do band, her bike wheel got stuck in the small space between the sidewalk and grass and toppled over and gave her a concussion (was 15). F**k those little spaces though, my bike got stuck in it too and I crashed. And f**k flags on corners. Idc if it's an American flag, I WILL burn it if it's on the corner of a sidewalk. One wrapped around my head a couple years back while I was riding a bike to my mom's house, and it didn't let go until I was going faster than I was before and aimed directly at a fire hydrant, that would hit my bike and make it yeet me out onto a busy road.
Mary Peace 5 years ago
My dictionary is called Word Power. That's STRONG words.
Load More Replies... #38
D C 1 year ago
I was ready to just abandon the shoes. When my husband said he bets some kid threw them on top of the electrical box. "Yeah right." Guess where they were?
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#40
Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago (edited)
Anyone who can mute my son has some incredible super powers, wish they wouldn’t be greedy and share their mystical magic.
Sian Edwards 5 years ago
I love my nephew to bits and would move mountains for him, but I've decided I'm never taking him to the cinema because he will just talk all the way through a film. He talks through Hey Duggee episodes and they are only 7 minutes long!
Load More Replies... Gon Freecss 5 years ago
This is why i have my friend help me babysit my siblings, i say quite "you're not the boss poopybutt!" (literally what they say) my friend says quite "ok (insert name)"
#41
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#44
Mary Peace 5 years ago
Teach your kids first aid and how to call for help, in case you pass out from shock.
#45
Chez 5 years ago (edited)
Try explaining the difference between read and read. And when to use it correctly in a sentence.
Artoonist Corine 5 years ago
If I had a dollar for every time I have said, "I know it makes no sense, but that is the English language..."
Aleksandra Elias 5 years ago
For those who are interested to know the answer, it's because in those countries, first porcelain came not from Italy but as an export from China: https://expandusceramics.com/qa/why-are-dishes-called-china.html
Russell Ellwardt 5 years ago
How does Italy come into this? The first Europeans who figured out how to make porcelain were in Dresden, Germany in the early 1700's. Just sayin'...
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Molly Cule 5 years ago
Hardest one for us was trying to explain the correct way to use I, me and my against you and your. "You should say "you" when you want to talk about me. But when you want to talk about you, you say "me"."
*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago
try explaining why 1) bologna is pronounced the way it is and 2) why read and lead rhyme but read and lead don't
Berlinda Dunbar-Nye 5 years ago
If god made everything???? Why do so many things say made in Japan (my day)/ China????
#46
Giles McArdell 5 years ago
These are messages suggesting websites you get back from teachers when you have a kid. Stuff like a really long URL - in a printed letter! Or a site that has about 50 capture and "are you a robot" tests or "your password is the one you wrote down in our questionnaire 3 years ago when your kid first joined the school, no we won't give you a hint you should remember it" etc.
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#47
Ben Steinberg 5 years ago
No, it becomes, "Well, now you're going to school in something else that might look pretty silly...Oh, you suddenly remembered where you coat is?"
Victoria Swift 5 years ago
Send them to school without it. At recess they will have to sit in the principals office. My kid experienced this exactly once. Now she can't ever find her shoes, but her cost is the first thing on.
#48
Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago
Haha, this is 100% my both my kids. They would wear shorts rain, hail or shine.
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago
Geez, someone is in a bad mood today. Sorry Foxxy, I could not put that under Alex, no reply button available.
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Meredith Glenn 5 years ago
This needs to be higher. It’s finally in the 50s and my 4yo dressed himself in shorts and a t-shirt today
#49
Wendillon 5 years ago
and then you're torn between feeling mad and proud.
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#50
Hera20 5 years ago
but it is the silence after they fall over which is scary. They might just be powering up ready to scream or are completely fine
PupGirl 5 years ago
This is SO true!! My neices (2 and 4) scare me sometimes...
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David Gripon 5 years ago
Yes! When my daughter would burst into uncontrollable laughter, I knew it would quickly transition into exhausted crying.
#51
AnInrovert 5 years ago
Oh, I didn’t think you would have to spell words...... I thought it might be pictures...
#52
Suzanne Clark 5 years ago
Friends complaining about the "terrible two" years shocked into silence when I told them the "terrible twos" were designed to prepare them for the teen years: picture a "terrible two" with car keys.
TheDemonUnderYourBed 5 years ago
My mom was in the middle of teaching when her water broke and after 23 hours of labor and immense pain nothing could've prepared her for giving birth to a baby girl who wasn't breathing when born because her umbilical cord was tightly wrapped around her neck and how depressed and salty she was going to be.
#53
E Menendez 5 years ago
Tell her you invited her, and she was still in your tummy and begin the lesson that way.
#54
Some Cool Guy 5 years ago
Ah the innocence of youth. On the plus side you can have ice-cream whenever you want.
Ren Karlej 5 years ago
Yeah but then your clothes stop fitting. Sigh adulting is hard.
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Katie Garr 5 years ago
i might not be able to to anything I want when I'm an adult, but at least I could go out and buy myself a cake whenever I feel like it.
#57
MantisGirl15 5 years ago
Is it just me, or do other people get anxiety when they see a movie or old picture where there is a crowd of people with no masks on?
#60
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TheDemonUnderYourBed 5 years ago
Holy- posts like these are why my professor takes my phone at the beginning of class. I'll see one like this and won't be able to stop laughing
#62
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Aleksandra Elias 5 years ago
Not only does she hurt physically, she also hurts psychically. So you get two damages for the price of one
#65
Ceredwyn Ealanta 5 years ago
When my kid was three, she pointed at at an 80 year old and demanded very loudly 'WHY IS THAT GIRL SMOKING?! DOESN'T SHE KNOW SHE'LL GET CANCER?' and I got to see someone try to work out if they were offended or pleased.
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My O My 5 years ago
Yes. Pictures sometimes noises, smells ect. Some grown-up still think like that. I was one of them - had to learn to think in language, really hard work!
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#73
Pansexual-Pancake 5 years ago
kids used to always make the fire alarm to off to get out of class for three hours while we wait for a fire truck
Joey Marlin 5 years ago
So the truck would be attending a fake fire and not ready if there is a real fire. Truly evidence of children not appreciating fully the consequences of their actions.
Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
My 10 year old niece told me she got sex education at school. I asked her of it was interesting. Nah, she said, it's only the theory.
Marcia Cash 5 years ago
10 years out of high school when my best friend confesses she was the one who called in the bomb alert
yosemity sam 5 years ago
right they're always like "get out of the building"
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#74
Marcia Cash 5 years ago
My toddler called water "nanoo". Once we were driving past the lake, she said "Look at the water!" so I turned around and praised her for saying the right word. Nope. She looked me straight in the eye and said "nanoo" and used it for another 6 months, deliberately, with a sarcastic look in her eye.
marie elle 5 years ago
We have a family chat with gramps asking: let her say "overall"(Ooohllalalll), did you hear? Or "hoppala"? No, but "applejuice"(applisaaaps)(german)
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#77
E Menendez 5 years ago
Absolutely. Life became so much more pleasant once I realized it is so much easier if IDGAF.
#78
Astrid Nineor 5 years ago
Parenting done right. There is a soccer field right next to my garden, and all I hear is shouting and cursing
Ren Karlej 5 years ago
My neighbours have an extremely tiny lawn - when their kids play football I hear gleeful shouts of GOAL every few seconds! Mostly when the football ends up in my garden admittedly. I've got quite a collection of balls now (joking).
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MantisGirl15 5 years ago (edited)
The last one should read: "Did you look where your shoes are supposed to be kept?"
Ren Karlej 5 years ago
The traditional question is, of course, 'where did you last see them?'. Fecking useless bloody question.
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marie elle 5 years ago
We inherited the idea of "coolpacks" from kindergarten, who ever has a tiny ouchie is getting a coolpack (from the fridge, not the freezer). And the little sister needs one two if a brother hit his head/toe/bum and its really just working. I mean, its spreading silence. Nice!
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Kip Otter 5 years ago
You don't take a math test, the math test takes you...
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Marcia Cash 5 years ago
Mama tells that we were driving in the car when I asked "Where do babies come from?" so she started a simple explanation a 3 year old could understand. Then I said "But what I really want to know is, what makes windshield wipers go back and forth?"
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Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago
When we went to Florida my 11 year old would open his mouth every single time he went under with a wave. Every time. Actually he does it when we swim in the Tennessee River, too. It is automatic for him, go under water, open mouth.
Ren Karlej 5 years ago
Guess you'll have to be a bit careful where you take him - some places have some horrible bacteria in the water. Wild swimming fan here...
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Shelby P 5 years ago
well.. it's not quite over. the actual worst is when you are quite polite and calm the first 5 times you ask them to do 'x' and then you've had enough so you get stern (maybe a little loud) and they start crying because "you don't have to yell at me..." so now you feel like a complete asshole to your kid
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Iris Wolfie (づ ◕‿◕ )づ 5 years ago
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM CRYING FROM LAUGHTER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa
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Pansexual-Pancake 5 years ago
i lost a dang tooth and the "tooth fairy" still hasnt given me money ITS BEEN 2 MONTHS
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Red 5 years ago
*Steps on lego* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (╯´༎ຶᗝ´༎ຶ）╯︵ ┻━┻
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BabyCharmander 5 years ago (edited)
Yeesh, some of the replies to the actual tweet are even worse. Go play Minecraft or Pokemon or Bendy and the Ink Machine with your kids (or well, in the case of the latter, play it yourself or watch them play it) and enjoy spending time with them and getting to understand their interests... instead of, you know, mocking your own children for enjoying harmless things and dreading talking with them about stuff that makes them happy.
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Kiss Army 5 years ago
My son's girlfriend's name is Victoria and her brother's name is Victor.
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Joey Marlin 5 years ago
I am assuming they have laid out the bananas next to mum's laptop as a wee hint to get on and make banana muffins!
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Remi Flynne 5 years ago
Just making an extremely rich man even richer - a man who doesn't pay all his staff properly.
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Tim Douglass 5 years ago
I'm pretty sure I just located the person who has no kids and possibly hasn't spent any time around kids.
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Marcia Cash 5 years ago
Kid says "I need a jelly sandwich" an hour before supper. So I explain the difference between "need" and "want". Kid hangs on a cabinet drawer screaming "I NEED a jelly sandwich!"
Remi Flynne 5 years ago
I genuinely had to explain the difference between need and want to an adult!
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WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
As long as she doesn't drive there, there nothing wrong with wine before soccer.
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What do you think ?
Jo Choto 5 years ago
There's a lot of poop on social media, but these parent posts are brilliant.
Jacob Babashoff 5 years ago
Heh...we we're at some friends of ours, when their kid was seven, he had the habit of barely brushing his teeth then sending the unused toothpaste down the drain. So it clogged really good one day. So talking to his father who was about to do some heavy duty disgusting drain work. I say, "you know, probably should have your son help you". He stopped, looked at me and then called his son. He doesn't force the toothpaste down anymore. And we don't have kids...LOL!
Chris 5 years ago
Toothpaste that blocked a drain?! That ain't toothpaste. And how much are they using?!
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Geth 5 years ago
Yes. They all like their children. See, parenting can be a very hard job, and like all people with difficult jobs that they love, they make funny jokes about it to other people who do that job to bond and make the difficult parts easier.
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Remi Flynne 5 years ago
Worry more if she acts like a 6 year old when she's 16.
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Julie 5 years ago
Parents talk about these zoom fiascos...I find it strange. My child does Google classroom, and when doing Google meets, the school states that cameras are not to be turned on....and in all his school meets, its always been only his teacher and him. I think the country could learn from our VA school system.
Geth 5 years ago
Boy, that's a bad idea. The camera being on is literally the only way the teacher knows that the kids are paying attention or are actually even there.
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 5 years ago
There's a lot of poop on social media, but these parent posts are brilliant.
Jacob Babashoff 5 years ago
Heh...we we're at some friends of ours, when their kid was seven, he had the habit of barely brushing his teeth then sending the unused toothpaste down the drain. So it clogged really good one day. So talking to his father who was about to do some heavy duty disgusting drain work. I say, "you know, probably should have your son help you". He stopped, looked at me and then called his son. He doesn't force the toothpaste down anymore. And we don't have kids...LOL!
Chris 5 years ago
Toothpaste that blocked a drain?! That ain't toothpaste. And how much are they using?!
Load More Replies... Geth 5 years ago
Yes. They all like their children. See, parenting can be a very hard job, and like all people with difficult jobs that they love, they make funny jokes about it to other people who do that job to bond and make the difficult parts easier.
Load More Replies... Remi Flynne 5 years ago
Worry more if she acts like a 6 year old when she's 16.
Load More Replies... Julie 5 years ago
Parents talk about these zoom fiascos...I find it strange. My child does Google classroom, and when doing Google meets, the school states that cameras are not to be turned on....and in all his school meets, its always been only his teacher and him. I think the country could learn from our VA school system.
Geth 5 years ago
Boy, that's a bad idea. The camera being on is literally the only way the teacher knows that the kids are paying attention or are actually even there.
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