30 Of The Best Parenting Tweets Of The Month (August Edition)

Almost 190,000 now...

As the oldest of six Id very often be asked to help. I learned around age 5 as soon as I heard my name to run to the closet and hide with a book. By age 8 I had a little library in closet. I thought I was so clever but seeing as I never got in trouble I'm sure my parents were in on it.

Protip for new parents: don't play the floor is lava in the family home.

GirlFriday

GirlFriday

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I feel this one in my soul.

Do You have a walk in closet???

Keep your mouth close. They can easily guess what's smashed inside and ask for it.

Change the password and set the wifi name to "Should have turned down the music"

Profound. Time for dad to make dinner.

Is 43 old though??

Lol

Omg dying.

Guaranteed outrage lol

Me: *starts spinning too*

Dabgerous. I managed to get into philosophical debates with a three-year old. She had the stronger arguments...

Lol

US educational system in a nutshell.

Because a trusting relationship with your children is based upon a constant surveillance... And no it doesn't help them if they are kidnapped because kidnappers ditch the phone.

People who don’t like pizza can’t be trusted lol.

Life hack- stack your doughnuts on top of each other and call it super doughnut

Having just had a front tooth implant, apparently a significant number of mums have root canals from toddlers smashing them in the face with various objects. Yes my toddler head butted me, I got a root canal, then my tooth got brittle and finally splintered needing an implant to fix

"Ah Jimmy that Biohazard suit was to last all term!"

Kid sounds like a thinker :D

my wife is from southern France, and lives now on the east...she still calls her favorite kind of pastry "chocolatine" but here, everybody knows that the correct name is "pain de chocolat" :-)

My mother-in-law taught my husband that the end pieces are poisonous. 50 years later and he will still not eat them.

This man is in all BP tweets. He must be bored, he shold come to this comunity.

Are you awake lol

step by step....

Is your son named Buddah?

When my daughter found out about the tooth fairy she chuckled. I asked her what was so funny and she said "Well Dad, I'm imagining you wearing a pink tut and glittery wings prancing about" I'm a bit on the chubby side.

I'm with the four year old, nothing to do with school, just.....life.

That’s just adorable. One night after I put my son to bed. I could hear him crying so I go check on him and he says “you are a lot lot lot lot lot more comfying than my bunny”. He was upset coz he wanted more hugs and his bunny just didn’t cut it.

Lol

BURN!

...

ROFL - solid answer with good reasoning A*

Is your child a hobbit?

Mom doesn't have to know...

Nooooooooooo

Not for another 12 years.

Me

Ha ha ha dying

True. Those who can bear it and resist interfering deserve medals.

"And so I punched him in the face but now we're good again."

Steven Universe!

Ok. Do mean that in the bad way or the good way

aw some

I would have stayed to eavesdrop on how Dad answered that one. ;oP

We are already on a good path to 1984. Newspeak has become mandatory in colleges. Total surveillance is approached. Diversity of ideas and opinions is burried by companies.

Punctuation does help. I seriously do not get this.

I have had this happen to me...the struggle is real...

true

Mondays...

Wicked.

Nah he ate those pages instead

poor sonic

Notice what?

Because I go to the gym but somehow always end up at McDonald's.

Physics!

No bedside manners whatsoever.

My experience as a man has led me to realize this is almost entirely due to incomplete instructions and/or that the grocery store has rearranged their layout for the forth time this year.

O-O