ADVERTISEMENT

It’s that time of the month again and we’re about to jump into the miscellaneous world of witty kids and their parents who are no strangers to Twitter. Yep, you guessed it right—it’s parenting tweets of the month, everyone!

We all know what a gift being a parent truly is, but that doesn’t mean it always goes smooth like butter. You see, sometimes kids annoy you, other times they pretend to be big bosses and smartasses, on some occasions they put you into uncomfy situations, and the rest, they put genuine smiles on people’s faces.

This is the time when innocent wisdom and genuine curiosity meets the big world which is about to be uncovered, so you as a parent surely hear a lot of great observations coming from it!

And if you’re in the mood for some more joke tweets made by parents (told by kids), they wait in our previous posts from May, April, and March.

#1

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

HenpeckedHal Report

crazy_cat_notAlady
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"luggage hasn't stopped laughing" hehe. The cutest thing I have read in a while.

Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People complained about this a lot, saying he'd endanger his son and he replied "I'm not endangering my son, I'm endangering my daughter " and that killed me.

Hannah Edwards
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your luggage is going to be gutted when it gets booted out

V Martinez
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe, just maybe, he took the pic before he buckled it up? Or after coming back home, unbuckling, but before unloading? Was that mentioned anywhere? If not, then we don't know. But it's def a cute story!

Ba Lulu
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, how much did he packed and enough room for a 3 y old?

View more comments
RELATED:
    #2

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    IDontSpeakWhine Report

    Hannah Edwards
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh my god! This is my life! We could start a parent support group.

    Foxxy (The Original)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My kids rarely complain they a bored. I have told them that if they whinge they're bored then I will give them something to do, which always revolves around cleaning lol.

    Nadine Bamberger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seriously though, don't do that, don't make them feel like their interests don't matter. Fir me that was the point I knew I'd stop sharing altogether. Show interest.

    Mária Dusová
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don´t remember writing this but it seems like I did.

    Edamame
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i feel slightly insulted XD

    Diana Strassburg
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Been there 🙋🏻‍♀️ same with Spiderman Miles Morales 😶😶

    Michael Parker
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who else is 30 and still plays Minecraft? Please tell me I'm not the only one! :P

    Evil Swan
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Wow, what a shitty parent. Now the child would hesitate to share his interests with her or other dearest to him.

    View more comments
    #3

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    VisionBored1 Report

    Laura Mende (Human)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You didn't want to go shopping there anyway, did you? 😂😂😂

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Life as a parent is wild

    Nadine Bamberger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well at least you know they paid attention in school.

    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That went all around and came back around and I wasn't disappointed. Lol

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time to find a new store to shop😅

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I find it hysterical that the little boy didn't know what tampons are but knew what the vagina is.

    Elsker
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Just give him the box, he'll find out:)

    View more comments
    #4

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    HelenAshby72 Report

    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same for me when my son was diagnosed with autism. There are times that were difficult, but more often than not, I was amazed at his unique way of thinking and I had a blast raising that kid.

    Obaku the Otaku
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    2 of my kids have autism. My other child and i have Aspergers. So i know how ignorant people can hurt you for no reason. And i will say this, my life with my kids certainly isn't boring.

    Sam Yobado
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am 100% a better person because of my special needs child. It's not easy but I wouldn't change it for the world.

    Pernille Dyre
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Million times up... ⬆️ - you and your son are lucky to have eachother ❤

    LivingTheDream
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How is this funny? This should be in the people are assholes list.

    That Bored Panda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t think it’s meant to be funny, these are called the best parenting tweets and I like this one very much.

    Load More Replies...
    Miles Becker
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister has Down Syndrome and this warms my heart ❤️

    Sunflowercray
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm glad the baby was born to a parent that knew what was important and didn't cave to attempts to shame you as a teen mom. There are tons of parents that can learn from that. Good for you. Your baby is a blessing and you are a blessing to your baby.

    Mini Muppet
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Not all down people are joyoys and lovely, so stop glorifying it.

    JessG
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's glorifying her son, not everyone. She didn't say anything about all downs people did she. You sound like a big fat stinking troll and I don't know why I'm even bothering. Collecting downvoted is a sh1tty hobby for sh1tty people

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #5

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    mommajessiec Report

    Mihai Mara
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So you thought she was gonna narrate the Hobbit book but instead she narrated the Hobbit movies.

    Hannah Edwards
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son does this. I’m torn between being a good supportive parent and feigning interest about minecraft for hours on end and saving myself.

    Rod Egret
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's ready for a great career in politics!

    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She'd do well as a writer in Hollywood. One book you say, that sounds like 3 movies. Lol

    Erjenn Rejano
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah I did that. Still do sometimes lol

    Anne Mitchell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like my younger child telling anyone who would listen about her latest dream.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #6

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    pro_worrier_ Report

    DanieLegz
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'll have what he's having"

    jaysko
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahaha that is AMAZING!! I don't think I'd be able to keep a straight face!

    Buana Biru
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That waiter probably already dead inside from minimum wage! 😔

    Sue Hazlewood
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, I would not have managed that

    Jonathan English
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In a resturant with my son, he was 3yr old at the time, and he started looking for his fork and knife, So imagine a 3yr old going around a resturant asking "where's my f**k n'knife"

    Brendan Moran
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter used to pronounce lasagna in the same way. I almost choked to death when she asked her Granny (my mother in law), at the dinner table if she put carrots in her lasagna.

    View more comments
    #7

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Sally Prosser
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fact. And whenever someone compliments said dress, one must announce "It has pockets!"

    not your average weirdo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When My sister was little she wore shorts with pockets and scream “COOL POCKEETTTTSSSS!!” it was so funny

    jaysko
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This kid's going places. It wasn't until I was like twenty when I had this epiphany.

    Nadine Bamberger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Guys will never understand what a mindblowing experience it is to find a dress with pockets!

    Aay (they/them)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dresses with pockets are amazing. We all love a dress with a good pocket. You must be a dude. Lol

    Pernille Dyre
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Any woman would say the same!!! We wan't pockets in our clothes....

    Lynne Stankard
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's how ladies feel, when they discover their new skirt/dress has pockets - Yippeeeeee!!

    View more comments
    #8

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    naanking Report

    Sara G
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol! I had to bring my child to work last week, and we were at the Department for Children and Families. We were with coworkers and I walked around the corner, and he says, "Don't abandon me, Mom!" Lmao One of the worst things to say at that place 😂

    Chaotic-Pansexual (she/they)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh that’s precious. I feel that kid. People are big and scary

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #9

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    eileencurtright Report

    Airis Malfoy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your daughter is gonna go places.

    Pepper DeVoe
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother made me read all the classics as a kid. Jane Eyre, all the Jane Austen's, Little women. I thought reading them would make me a nerd, but If I hadn't found my love for books as a child i doubt i ever would have.

    Autumn
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate it when this happens

    Katinka Min
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pretty muhc my thought at that page in the book

    Mainza Munsanje
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My exact thought when I first read the book 😂

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #10

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    MumInBits Report

    Justin G
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here’s what you need to do. Step 1: Leave the country.

    Nadine Bamberger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Negotiate which country you're allowed to rule once she's taken over the world. Did that with my niece and right now you're communicating with the future high empress of Belgium.

    jaysko
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your 4 year old is a genius! But yes, you should absolutely be scared 😂

    #11

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    JennyPentland Report

    Kim Kermes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom told me that while I paid for my own medical coverage, I could do any damned silly thing I wanted.

    Sue Hazlewood
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think Ed's irony and self own will be entirely lost on him

    View more comments
    #12

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    surlybassey Report

    Leslie Burleson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter used to call every man in a flight suit 'daddy' . It was hilarious seeing the men panic

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn't know it was possible to terrify men especially being so young

    Load More Replies...
    BetterBitterButter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a neighbour whose kid used to call every man "papa" and every woman "mama". So I was his mama and so was my mama.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much

    Chaotic-Pansexual (she/they)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ope- your toddler be sniffing out cheaters in a target

    Leodavinci
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    His response is most likely due to being married to a very jealous woman.

    blugeagua
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, not true. We don't know their situation. And a random child saying that is not going to make someone mad. The husband freaking out like that so over the top at an innocent child's imagination showed he had something to hide.

    Load More Replies...
    Maria Schneider
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perhaps he agrees with paying the alimony

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #13

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Chhapiness Report

    Laura Mende (Human)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That really hurts!!! The struggle is real! 😂😂😂

    Hannah Edwards
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of mine fell over whilst lying down

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son fell off the floor last year. :)

    Load More Replies...
    Treessimontrees
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine cried last night as I wouldn't let her put her unicorn horn from her toy into her ear.

    flaura42
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The pain is totally legit! It really burns! Oh, wait, you mean it wasn't in the microwave first? Never mind...

    Chaotic-Pansexual (she/they)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey man, I was having a rough day and that marshmallow didn’t make it any better

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #14

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    snarkymomtobe Report

    Ty Stratton-Quirk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Parenting: the original Stockholm syndrome.

    ekBar57
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the 3 year old child absolutely did not say that.

    Sara G
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But I wouldn't trade it for the world!

    #15

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    coachkeith_1k Report

    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's the spirit. I hope she is also appreciated by her teammates.

    Karen Clark
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well done, Keith Miller. Like Father, like Daughter. You are both stars. 🌟🌟

    Sue Hazlewood
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She sounds like Sue Heck from the programme The Middle. A positive kid is a great thing.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #17

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    JessicaValenti Report

    Ty Stratton-Quirk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I swear, Dad, we had no idea the bowling ball would do this to your computer!"

    Airis Malfoy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I swear dad, It was Tyler." "Stop snitching Kylie!"

    Load More Replies...
    Nadine Bamberger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Companies don't kid test their stuff enough. Dave Grohl once said that the band members kids destroy a green room much faster and thoroughly than any musician he's ever known. And he knew Lemmy.

    Leigh Boatright
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My brother broke his first computer at the tender age of one by sticking things into the disc drive.

    Gemini
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In 4th grade a kid tripped and fell on the computer and ruined it, i feel your pain.

    Lara Verne
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ouch....as if it wasn't enough that my cat uses my laptop as her personal heater.

    The Deez
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my son was about 10, he was walking through the living room to put his dishes and utensils in the kitchen. He tripped and the fork hit the tv screen, damaging it and we had to get a new TV. (We, the parents, weren't home at the time) What I find out EIGHT YEARS LATER is that he actually shot an airsoft gun at the TV to see what would happen. It made a cool, rainbow, ripping effect! But no damage. He said, as he was relaying this story, "I KNEW I shouldn't shoot it again but it looked so cool...so I shot it again." and that's when the damage happened. (Looking back, I know now that I should have been immediately suspicious when he said he was taking his dishes to the kitchen...)

    sam puckett
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oof... We don't have a lot of money, if I did that, ya girl would not be here today

    Sue Hazlewood
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine looked like that and I do not have a kid! LOL

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #18

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    ElieNYC Report

    Marcellus the Third
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's something that never gets used up yet often received as a gift. We've accumulated dozen (and never used any). ... but that doesn't really shorten the list of things it could be, really?

    Jaxier Lucies
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, technically everything can be a coaster if it's used as a coaster

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True story: My husband never used a coaster until he married me. Had no idea that was what those "things" were for.

    crazy_cat_notAlady
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    fair point. me (30-yo): I might not know what actually is a coaster and where I can find one in the house. PS - I use random scraps of paper like old grocery lists to set my coffee mug down

    sam puckett
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I knew what a coaster was when I was five

    #19

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    mommajessiec Report

    Ross Warren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And that's how my daughter got a five mile piggyback ride.

    Kiss Army
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was little my dad carried me down into Carlsbad Caverns on his back and when we got to the bottom I asked him if we could sit on the benches for a while because I was tired. He passed away when I was 42 and it was on of his favorite stories to remind me of whenever I said I was tired. I really miss him but it is a great memory.

    Load More Replies...
    Bryn
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not a family hike unless i'm left at the end because everyone has long legs and can step over a f*****g mountain with no issue

    Yvette Desmarais
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just wait until they are teenagers and pull that.

    Gary
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We used to get a couple of hundred metres in to a walk before my son proclaimed, "My legs are running out!"

    sam puckett
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's my sister. She makes me carry her. I. AM. TEN. If I had a choice, I wouldn't have a sister

    #20

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, that's not wrong I guess, lol.

    Karen Clark
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's very advanced blame-ology for an 11 year old. I see a brilliant debater in the making. ☺

    Shell O
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter says 'you wanted me', and she has a point :-)

    NinjaWolfy94
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was basically my reaction when a teacher would ask me to clean up a mess a classmate made (in high school when I finally got past my 'do as all adults tell you' phase), except in response to them saying they clean up messes all the time or it's a nice thing to do, I'd say, I didn't ask to be here, I don't want to be here and I'm being forced legally to be here so either get them to clean up their own mess or do it yourself. I have no idea why I was always asked to clean up other peoples messes?? Clean up after your own dirty ass.

    Yort
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You mean phase. A faze is something a member of X-Men does.

    Load More Replies...
    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still have this conversation, but with my husband. ..... *hmm*

    TK 421
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Second niece said that once. She spent the rest of the month cleaning everything in her house, then her mother (my baby sister) brought her to my place to clean. Whatever show or person taught her that joke was forever branded as evil in her life, and she’s never spoken those words again. The hardest part was making a mess for her to clean. My wife and I are very organized people who just naturally clean as we go.

    Sara G
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So glad my son is not at this level of comebacks yet

    Anna McHugh
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolutely damn right, says the antinatalist lol

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #21

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    MrTomRad Report

    Hannah Edwards
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter’s best friend is non-binary. Hilarity ensued when I was trying to figure out how many kids I was giving a lift to.

    Chaotic-Pansexual (she/they)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol that’s funny. I have a couple friends who are non-binary (I have not discussed my own pronouns with my parents) and I must always be sure to over-specify that I’m talking about a single person when I refer to them

    Load More Replies...
    Hermione Granger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This reminds me of I AM THREE DOGS IN A TRENCH COAT AND YOU WILL ADRESS ME AS SUCH!

    crazy_cat_notAlady
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    huh. that's not bad advice actually. makes it much easier to use they/them pronouns. I'm planning on trying this.

    Katinka Min
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really wish they'd just come up with an entirely new pronoun; I'd adopt it happily. The Them/they stuff is confusing and annoying and does not translate to other languages. It is still ONE person, regardles of their gender. As long as someone is no psycophrenic, I see no snese in talking to them in a plural.

    Lillukka79
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or just switch to what we do in Finnish; everybody is hän.

    Load More Replies...
    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine says "I am three rats in a trench coat."

    NWB
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    aww bless that is cool!

    sam puckett
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is true. Kids are bees that sting you until you cry and face horrible consequences

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #22

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Chhapiness Report

    Elizabeth Stewart
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I fell in love with Goofy when I was three. In my 30s now and he is still my favorite.

    Mumchkin
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me it was Eeyore, age 5 or 6, and I just always wanted to give him a hug and cheer him up. Who am I kidding? I still want to and I'm 46.

    Load More Replies...
    Nadine Bamberger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've learned all the character names of at least 8 different shows now and I'm at my limit. I know what the red Ninjago Ninja's parents did for work but I don't remember my phone number anymore.

    JuJu
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tick, Tick and Track (as they are called here), Malificent and Hades.

    Laura Mende (Human)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please adopt me! My favourite for life (at least the recent 22 years) is Simba. Than comes Timon, than Pumbaa... (Just buy everything LION KING related) 🦁😂

    Carmen Sandiego
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meh, I like Kida, it still hasn't changed.

    TK 421
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Donald Duck all the way. Daisy is my wife’s favorite.

    Miguel Garcia
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree. My daughter switched from Frozen to Tangled and back so many times to count.

    View more comments
    #23

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    HenpeckedHal Report

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stop the car. "Let me know when you're ready to behave." Get out, lean against the car and play with your phone while your children's fighting is muffled inside the car. When they get bored, drive them home. If it's raining, stop at a cafe, and sit where you can see the car. "One of you can come get me when you all agree you're done fighting."

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You read my mother's parenting books, I see :-)

    Load More Replies...
    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m the youngest of five kids, and the only girl, plus I’m 60 now, so was a child in the 1960s. I clearly remember long car trips with the family. My mother didn’t get to face forward in the passenger seat for more than a few minutes before having to turn around and deal with yet another drama, and my father had to steer one-handed most of the time because his other arm was slung over the back of the driver seat, randomly swatting at children. Yeah, good times in the “good old days”, lol.

    sam puckett
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad did that when he was taking us home and I said " you can't do that, by order of court, you are supposed to take us home on the date due, if you keep this up, I would never see you again, come to think of it, turn the car around

    #24

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    RadioFreeTom Report

    ruby yay
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was my bday as well lmao

    SoozeeQ
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    What a wonderful present for Father's Day. Having a baby. I wonder if she was his first?

    Katrina
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The exact date of father's day in the US changes every year, so it's not like the daughter was born on christmas. It just so happened that the daughter's birthday in 2021 happened to fall on father's day

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #25

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    ksujulie Report

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Karma played the long game....and won

    Carmen Sandiego
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People help their kids do their work, and this lady's kid got long division as her work.

    Load More Replies...
    Bender Bending Rodríguez
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "New Math" -- as they call it, makes you question your ability to add 1 + 1. Why they have to reinvent math?

    Becky Samuel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because the new methods of teaching math are more inclusive and help a wider range of children achieve understanding of the principles involved and achieve greater competency in the subject. Change is not always bad.

    Load More Replies...
    Amy Smith
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maths homework with our son is a nightmare!

    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It all comes back to haunt you.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #26

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Dad_At_Law Report

    Sara G
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh my kid is ready to go at 6:30 lol

    Printerman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd like to know that as well. That person's got some 'splaining to do.

    #27

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    HomeWithPeanut Report

    Max
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had to teach a graduate student how to microwave a hot dog, so honestly, this is a promising sign.

    Samantha Lomb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they were an international student it could be they simply either don't have microwaves at home or cook hotdogs differently

    Load More Replies...
    CrunChewy McSandybutt
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a kid, I liked crossing my eyes. Once I decided to see how far I could cross them. I stretched the ligaments so much that any movement of my eyes would result in sharp, stabbing pain. You ever try to go an entire day without moving your eyes?

    View more comments
    #28

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Lottie_Poppie Report

    JuJu
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be grateful it's not a pet bug

    not your average weirdo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I snuck roly polys and grasshoppers in my toy kitchen when I was little

    Load More Replies...
    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Leave them at rock daycare in care of a stone in the backyard.

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait until it has a litter of pebbles that you have to find homes for.

    June
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Make them carry their stuff, and soon they don't want to bring it anymore. 👌

    Octavia Hansen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From THE START, I told kiddo they carried what they brought. A couple of long hikes later, they brought a whole lot less!

    Faith Hurst
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can just say no. They won't die. I have two adults and 100s of former students to prove it.

    Joanna Blake
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They need a rock mummy at home with them!

    Bettie-Jean Neal
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You just say no, it's not that difficult. You say no enough times and they'll learn to not throw a fit when you do say it. If my mom said no, I KNEW there was no way I was going to win and I had better NOT throw a hissy fit about it - no crying, no whining, no stomping my feet, no crossing my arms and giving a death glare.

    Brîndușa
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother said no, but she also explained to me every time why is no.Actually she talked to me like you are talking to a grown human beeing : without yelling or beeing nervous, with respect and understanding.I am proud of her because she made me the person i am now, at 51 yo.

    Load More Replies...
    Lauren Caswell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the 90s I tasked my mum with keeping my tamagotchi alive while I was at school camp for the week. She says it way a very stressful week, as a parent myself now I can imagine 😂

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #29

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    MumInBits Report

    I I
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    he's got the bedside manner and pricing correct

    LeiLah
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like regular ole' medical treatment in US to me.

    SoozeeQ
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought he was prescribing 600,000 push ups!

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Better stop breathing immediately otherwise you have to find the money

    James souder
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and im sure he is out of network too , so your screwed

    sam puckett
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister got me in trouble and lied to my dad so I yelled " SEE THAT? THATS THE FACE OF AN APPALLED FATHER! BECAUSE YOU APPALLED HIM! BECAUSE YOU, ARE, APPALLING" and then stormed off

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #30

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Lollardfish Report

    Colin Matthews
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dog does this, growls at something outside at 4am.when I go see, nothing there, when I turn around dog is snoring in my warm bit...

    Maul!
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your kiddo is a cat!!! 😍

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of our cats does this. Goes to the door to the deck, pretends to want to go out. When my partner gets up to let her out, she circles back to his chair and stretches out on it.

    Nadine Bamberger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That kid's going places. Mainly your side of the bed for now, but places.

    Karen Clark
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, the old bait and switch....

    Yort
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did you get out of bed? Dumb.

    Tina Smith
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think Martha Meyer was commenting on the post by Henpecked Hal regarding him threatening to turn the car around if the kids didn't stop and the kids cheered as the family had just left the park. I was confused too until I read a bit further :-)

    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Imagine living in a world where you have to take a car to get to the park.

    View more comments
    #31

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    VisionBored1 Report

    Pepper DeVoe
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People who say kids shouldn't have devices, probably aren't parents

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They used to say the something similar about kids watching TV.

    Load More Replies...
    Obaku the Otaku
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How many times I've stopped myself from taking away screentime, when i realize it would be more of a punishment for me.

    A Cat Named Dragon
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG! I work from home and babysit my niece’s kids and she used to do this until I put a stop to it… punish them by taking their devices for the day… then she would trot off to her office and I was left with three bored, angry children whilst trying to get my own job done!

    Heather Menard
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Tell them to go outside and play till the street lights come on

    Emma Byrne
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Sounds like you married an a$$hole

    JuJu
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like you like to jump to conclusions.

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    #32

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    SnarkyMommy78 Report

    Gracie Jay
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh man!! I feel this one deep! Talk about instant anxiety attack.

    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know what I'd do if I have an extroverted kid...I'd probably panic and she'd/he'd be making the play dates with the other parent.

    Lauren Caswell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine has suddenly gotten into having play dates 😱 luckily only with one kid do far but he's planning others. I'm so glad to know I'm not alone in feeling anxiety about having to liaise with parents I don't know!

    Load More Replies...
    NinjaWolfy94
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel this with my younger cousin! We're only about 7 years apart, but I'm an adult so you'd assume I'd be the one talking to the people at the counter, but she's so much more extroverted than me. She usually offers to talk to them instead when I start to panic about it :') <3

    Marlow
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ooooooohhhhh hoho no, never would I EVERRRRRR (I'm introverted If u can't tell)

    Sara G
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am a former hardcore introvert who is now way too far in the other direction. Can you tell?? Lol

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #33

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Dad_At_Law Report

    Nadine Bamberger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After a year of "religious studies" my 6yo niece is afraid of Jesus because he's a ghost zombie.

    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What education? Kid's been brainwashed by religion already.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #34

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    LizerReal Report

    Suzi Gauthier
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I worry about when they learn about oral sex. Will they fear pregnancy?

    #35

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Dad_At_Law Report

    Ty Stratton-Quirk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "They did manage to pick up a dozen Legos between them, so I'm considering it."

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You need a full week of not stepping on them before you consider anything

    Load More Replies...
    Jill Ferguson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But props for giving the kids their 'say' in making the plan. I call this document our summer 'RULES OF ENGAGEMENT'. I'm going to laminate that bad boy....

    #36

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    simoncholland Report

    Nik
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter can hear a piece of chocolate breaking through 3 walls and 2 flights of stairs!! And yet when standing right in front of me can’t hear ‘please empty the dishwasher’ 🤣

    Kevin Beard
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sub popcorn and I can relate. "I'm just going to take a handful of popcorn to bed okay?" . "?Okay?"

    Obaku the Otaku
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids have a sixth sense about this.

    Leslie Burleson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My grandson does this whenever we try to play a game too lol

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #37

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    ddsmidt Report

    Laura Mende (Human)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wanted go rollerblading once. I was about 5 and so my mom had to dress me up in all protection stuff. Took her about 2.5 hrs. Once finished little me said: I don't wanna go... SHE WENT REEEEAAALYY SILENT AFTER THAT!!!! (She yelled the f**k out of me...)

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is what sports consignment stores are for. Almost nobody buys brand new hockey equipment where I live.

    Foxxy (The Original)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter did similar. She had done a 6 month trial of BMX racing and we asked her if she was interested in doing it the following year. We asked a few times and even mentioned that we will buy her all new gear. She was adamant that she wanted to do it so we bought her the necessary top and pants, helmet, gloves, goggles and paid for a 12 month membership to the BMX club. Everything almost cost us $500. She did 2 races and then decided to quit.

    Suzi Gauthier
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Consider yourself lucky. It's not a sport - it's a lifestyle. I didn't see my best friend for 10 years when her son started Little League.

    Bobby
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My rule is you finish the season, you don't have to play again next season but I paid good money and I want my kids to understand that if you make a commitment you need to keep it.

    Anna McHugh
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sorry - $250??? When do I start laffing?

    Faith Hurst
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's expensive for first year. You can definitely get all of that stuff wayyyyy cheaper. This is also why I told my kids that any commitment they made would last the season. Others are depending on you.

    Spittnimage
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where'd she buy the stuff, Rodeo Drive?

    MisterE
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YDI for buying expensive equipment for a 1st timer. $25 for a mitt and use a team bat. Cleats shouldnt be 100 either for a little kid. Nor should the uniform cost 120. Should be imcluded in league fee.

    Bobby
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In our league the jersey is but not the pants. I was a little shocked at the cost of the pants. Hijacked a pair from his older cousin

    Load More Replies...
    Mihai Mara
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No no no, it's not priceless, it's five hundred and ..... it's six hundred and? .... it's more than 100$ :D

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #38

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    TheRealPalMal Report

    Hannah Edwards
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your child has very niche interests

    Curry on...
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reads like someone fed the dog a taco bell burrito.

    Mihai Mara
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "how to find out if you're adopted"

    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    How is checking your child's search history being a good parent?

    NinjaWolfy94
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess making sure they're not going on any sketchy sites or anything unknowingly? Depends on their age I guess. Not fair to check a teen's search history cause... privacy. But for example my uncle tracks everything his girls do on their devices (and luckily so... they used to use tik tok but accidently landed on a bad side of it. Had he not been tracking what they were watching, they could have seen some bad stuff...)

    Load More Replies...
    #39

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Daisyldoo Report

    kasa alex
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    nice to see he has his priorities straight

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They’re still not. He put petting the cat every day at #2.

    Load More Replies...
    Nadine Bamberger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well the cat doesn't pet itself, does it now.

    #40

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    HomeWithPeanut Report

    Hannah Edwards
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do not get this stuff on a hard floor, it makes it like an ice rink.

    Amanita Virosa
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Completely unrelated, I have a recipe for Magic sand; 5 parts sand, 3 parts cornstarch, and 1 part cooking oil. Instant ice rink on your floor. ;)

    Load More Replies...
    A Head
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We quickly learned that stuff is an outdoor activity.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #41

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    RodLacroix Report

    Airis Malfoy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seems like what my mom will do if me and my brother are left alone at home. But, she wont check whether the house is on fire.. she would check whether the house is still not fallen down.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #42

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Dad_At_Law Report

    #43

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    HomeWithPeanut Report

    Carrie de Luka
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friend's child was using 'too wet' instead of too cold or too hot - so this 3 year old may well mean the temperature was wrong.

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The temperature of juice? No, the kid meant “too wet”. It was a tantrum. It wasn’t meant to make sense.

    Load More Replies...
    #44

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    pro_worrier_ Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #45

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    mommajessiec Report

    Desiree McKinnon
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That just means it's time to start finding them something to clean...

    Amanita Virosa
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a child, a thousand years ago if you said you were bored, Mom would find something for you to do. So you never said you were bored or face the consequences.

    Load More Replies...
    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Would you rather kick a ball around outside, or wash the dishes?" "chose one, or I'll choose for you."

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #46

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    reallifemommy3 Report

    #47

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Chhapiness Report

    LottieH
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so true! I hate it when hubby is off work for longer than a weekend, he messes all the routines up.

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same here. I get more chores done when he’s out of the house, so if he’s off work I encourage him to mow the grass or otherwise putter around the garage or yard, while I finish up what I need to get done inside the house, and do it my way (which works)—-without interruptions, distractions, or “suggestions for how to do it better”.

    Load More Replies...
    #48

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    michimama75 Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #49

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    yesitshanna Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #50

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    espiers Report

    Laura Mende (Human)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Later in his life he will be GREAT FUN at movie evenings! 😂😂😂

    #51

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    Marco Hub-Dub
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love it when people don’t understand sarcasm.

    MrOwlAteMyMetalWorm.
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Obvio.If your kid did that you'd probably call 911.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #53

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    thearibradford Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #55

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    mom_tho Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #56

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    HomeWithPeanut Report

    Ty Stratton-Quirk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait until they find out that blueberries don't actually taste blue...

    JuJu
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's why the rest of the world calls it Ananas

    Jackson Sharpe
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh god... I never thought of this until now.

    #57

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    LizerReal Report

    Ragnhild Nilsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember my grandmother being 29. And I found that strange since it was my father's 30th birthday. If she'd said she was 39 I wouldn't have batted an eyelid.

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She was being like Jack Benny—-he was “39 and holding” for years. (Oh, ffs, look him up.)

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #58

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    robrousseau Report

    Leodavinci
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They're actually more terrifying without costumes.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #59

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    mommymemejeans Report

    #60

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Mamaoutoforder Report

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To end up making gray instead of rainbow. I may be 60 years old, but I remember it well.

    Michelle Brandt
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Eh, it's a dollar per can. Just get them new ones.

    #61

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    ThisOneSayz Report

    JuJu
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know just what you're saying

    Mrs. Mir
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really think this could be the end.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #62

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    LizerReal Report

    Marcellus the Third
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It seems to be from 'running' though. As if the other deer aren't.

    Ragnhild Nilsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The old Norse was Hreinn, which means horns or horned. Hreindýri means horned animal. Dýr, modern Norwegian Dyr, is the same words as English Deer, and means animal. Renne is Medieval Low German, and means to run, but the word Reindeer, Reinsdyr, is much older.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #63

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    whatsJo Report

    Airis Malfoy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I literally laughed more than i should have, concerning all my family members!

    SoozeeQ
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I smile through the mask and then realise they can't see me smiling. 🤦‍♀️

    #64

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    RodLacroix Report

    Ty Stratton-Quirk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Get a four-piece from McDonald's and tell him/her it's steak. Kid'll be happy, and there will be more steak for you!

    #65

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    reallifemommy3 Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #66

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Dad_At_Law Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've seen a picture some years ago of some parent in room 1, taking a picture of room 3, through room 2 with a table tennis table in it, with the kids playing Wii table tennis in room 3. I consider this picture to be the epitome of Generation Smartphone.

    Pumpkin Spice
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    iGen. Centennials. Post-millenials. Zoomers. GEN Z.

    Load More Replies...
    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Possibly; I see mobile games for almost every type of game out there. There's probably a virtual rock-skipping game somewhere.

    Some Cool Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Phone would probably go a long way

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #67

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    MBikard Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That kid is going places. Apparently math classes, for example.

    #68

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Dad_At_Law Report

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The other shoe is lying in the middle of some road somewhere. I mean, that’s just GOT to be the explanation, since they’re usually children’s shoes.

    #69

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    mom_tho Report

    Ty Stratton-Quirk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "No, wait, he wears earplugs to bed. SHOOT!!!"

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What do you think we keep our nails longer for? Dig ‘em out and tell him to get his ass out of bed and go make breakfast for HIS children. NOW! The roll over and go back to sleep.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #70

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    mommeh_dearest Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #71

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    meena Report

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, the fluoride treatment doesn't usually taste that bad. Probably wouldn't want it as a cake flavor, but it's at least tolerable... presumably, that's the idea.

    Anne Nielsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That would be grape jello with cookies?

    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jelly roll. Problem solved.

    #72

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    dexbonus Report

    #73

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    chelseaperetti Report

    Gin. No tonic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    June 1st is Children's day. One year it was also Father's day. We had so much fun!

    MrOwlAteMyMetalWorm.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Really?It was November 14th for us.Children's Day.

    Load More Replies...
    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, he's only a father because of him...

    Suzi Gauthier
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother told me every day is children's day.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #74

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    LizerReal Report

    Marny
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your kid sounds like she's already perfect!

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #75

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    notmythirdrodeo Report

    #76

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    RodLacroix Report

    #77

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Steph_I_Will Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #78

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    saltymamas Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #79

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    VisionBored1 Report

    Mark Howell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Get a dog and leave them to it , survival of the fittest. A 5 sec dog will give you a 4 sec kid ;o)

    #80

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    deloisivete Report

    chi-wei shen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still better than a banana taped to a wall.

    #81

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Mamaoutoforder Report

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This reminds me of the "Play-Doh Assault" incident that happened in 8th grade.

    Kristin Ingersoll
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is seriously lacking some key information, Tobias.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #82

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    LoveNLunchmeat Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #84

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    thearibradford Report

    #85

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    pro_worrier_ Report

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, she has a reason to be professionally worried.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #86

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    dadmann_walking Report

    SoozeeQ
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm surprised the realtor doesn't turn them on when they arrive and off when they leave.

    Kim Kermes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope. Your commission includes getting there early enough to turn lights on, and turning them off again.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #87

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    Truthsp73957317 Report

    SoozeeQ
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think this belongs here. This isn't something funny or cute that his kid did. His kid is injured and in ICU.

    Mary Bricklin
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, I think we need more context. This could be a 'my kid is injured' tweet but it could also be a really sarcastic 'my kid is ignoring me in favor of some electronic' tweet.

    Load More Replies...
    Kim Kermes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What indescribable joy! Thanks for sharing it with us.

    #89

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    Kim Kermes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also Tractor Supply and Harbor Freight. Don't even need to be a parent.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #90

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    colleen_eileen Report

    Marco Hub-Dub
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not knowing the difference between DC & Marvel may become detrimental for you once your child gets older.

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don’t worry. If the kids stay interested in it, she’ll hear about it so much, she won’t be able to help but learn all there is to know about it. By sheer osmosis.

    Load More Replies...
    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Disney has a 'thing' called "The Bite-Sized Adventures of Sam Sandwich" Does that count?

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The superhero we can all relate to

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #91

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    SladeWentworth Report

    les
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thats not bad if they're 3, and if they're over 70 they'll probably end up president

    #92

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    toomanycommas3 Report

    #93

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    LizerReal Report

    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's ok. A co-worker said she's no longer surprised about what comes out of her mouth after she told her 5 year old, loud enough for the neighbors to hear, "Stop licking the driveway!!!"

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #94

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    HomeWithPeanut Report

    Airis Malfoy
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God, I searched for your kid. Help me. Like i searched for the kid in the picture, and a split second later, I am like....'Oh...OH'

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #96

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    IDontSpeakWhine Report

    Marcellus the Third
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And you haven't since Twitter started. Your point?

    #97

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    annmarie_hooker Report

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A few of them are somewhat yellowish, but still.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #98

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-Jokes-June

    threetimedaddy Report

    ADVERTISEMENT