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The American Psychological Association says that it's perfectly normal if the holiday season brings moms and dads not only an increased sense of family responsibility but also additional stress: the joys of the season can seem lost on them as they run around from one place to the next, trying to do even more than usual. It's an overwhelming time of the year.

So, to help them unwind, Bored Panda has collected the funniest and most honest parenting tweets from December. The recap of the month features both Christmas and everyday moments so even those who wish to put the holidays behind them will have something to giggle at.

For more parenting tweets, check out our earlier collections from November, October, and September.

#1

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

katiestanners Report

CD Mills
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely! I grew up hearing that all the time after some boy had purposely abused me in some way. Furthermore unacceptable!

Vic
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree 100%. Being the father of a boy, I try my best to teach him to treat everyone fair and equal.

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CB KittyValet
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree wholeheartedly, but why is this a "funny" tweet?

Lucy Skinner
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree!!! Another thing is when people say women/girls are “being hormonal.” So annoying

jimmy pop
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No longer? When was it ever?

Neil Mansell
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never in my experience. Although the whole, "You can't hit a girl" seems to still be a thing. Guess it's too much to ask that people simply stop hitting each other, regardless of gender.

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Erin E
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s never been an appropriate response.

blugeagua
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Boys need to start being held accountable for their actions. Keeping that phrase just reinforces the idea that boys think they can do whatever they want with no repercussions at all.

Matt Thode
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Seriously, what planet do you live on? Can you give me an example of what you are talking about, or are you just here finger-wagging to show everyone how morally superior you are?

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Zophra
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Boys will be ... defendants in lawsuits."

Deborah Brett
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The proper answer is "Then girls/women will respond accordingly." Punctuated by a kick to the crotch.

David Retsler
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Yes, because committing battery is the best way to get your point across. I wish you'd kick me. I'd bankrupt you. LOL

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Nikki Sevven
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It never was an appropriate response!

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Vicki Broadbent, an award-winning filmmaker and blogger at Honest Mum who is also the author of bestselling book MUMBOSS: How to Survive and Thrive At Work and At Home, told Bored Panda that parents often burn out during the holidays because they place far too much pressure on themselves to create the perfect Christmas and New Year for their kids—which can be unrealistic at best and damaging and draining at worst.

"While conjuring up a festive family dream is wonderful in theory and comes with good intention, from a place of love, it can become a huge strain for parents both mentally and financially," Broadbent said. "Debt is not just for Christmas, folks, it rolls on all year long, particularly when you overspend. Live within your means and that means on the Big Day too. The anxiety to keep up with the Joneses seems tenfold now that we're bombarded with everyone else's festive prep on our timelines, be it the ever-more-elaborate mischievous set-ups every year of that swine, Elf on the Shelf to virtual Santa visits and, worst of all, mountainous piles of presents in some sort of matching wrapping paper present Olympics by parents with their peers."

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    #2

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    katelippiett Report

    Serial pacifist
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, dad remains on a master's degree. Keep up the hard work dad, you'll get your break too.

    Sandra Bollox
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I kinda don't believe this actually happened. It's like when parents quote their kids for really deep quotes. Seems more like a way to brag. We can't take everything at face value. Also, and this is the most important thing, this isn't funny.

    Sandra Bollox
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    PS good for her if she did get a PhD. I'm trying to get into a doctorate myself. We'll see!

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    Pasion Jones
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i call bs... i think the MUM corrected it.

    Pasion Jones
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yeah i call BS... i think SHE corrected it...

    Karin
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love it! But not funny.

    John
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    This sounds like bullshit.

    Rod Egret
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Never understand why people need titles so bad...

    HalfShelli
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because it comes with the decade of post-secondary education and the associated six-digit debt?

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    Dónal Ó Murchadha
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Actually, unless your an MD that really should be Mrs X followed by PhD or although it seems to be a thing is the US. If it's regarding your academic work, then use Dr. all you like. That said, people who have a BA & MA rarely use it in their titles. My uncle was travelling with a colleague from London to NY about 20 years ago who rather embarrassingly had to explain to a stewardess on the flight that he was a Dr of Physics and not an MD when approached regarding a sick passenger.

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    Broadbent thinks parents should ignore what they see on social media and remind themselves that children remember the quality time with their parents over the holidays more than anything (ideally, rested and relaxed, not frazzled parents).

    "Think back to what you recall fondly from your own Christmases past in childhood... I'd put money on you remembering a few key Christmas gifts (me, a Cabbage Patch Kid I still own); decorating the tree, laying out the mince pie and carrot for Santa, and forcing your merry mum to watch Miracle on 34th Street for the millionth time with you."

    #3

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    sadydoyle Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hey why do i have so may downvotes i just wanted to understand a name

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    Shawn Puskar
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the best one. And it's actually funny...you know, like the title promises...

    GoodCatto
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah yes, the only little kid that l would like.

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    And she is absolutely right. Psychologist Dr. David Walsh, known for translating cutting-edge brain science to everyday practice for parents, teachers, and other professionals, says the positive feelings of warmth, safety, or happiness are examples of what he calls 'emotional memories.'

    "Emotional memories are very powerful and very important," Dr. Walsh writes. "Just as experiences link together different connections in our brain, experiences also wire together emotional connections. Emotions are especially powerful because they focus our attention and are a major determinant for what we remember."

    While presents might feel important now, Dr. Walsh argues that the greatest gift we can give our children is to create a rich set of positive emotional memories. "Creating family traditions, focusing on the meaning of the season, and carving out time for reflection can help buffer stress and provide a foundation for memories that last a lifetime."

    #4

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    dawnalana2 Report

    Vic
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I learnt a new thing from my BP pals.. add a random comments to hide unhealthy ones..

    Paula Swanson
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now she will understand the struggle a mom goes through when that first wad of wrapping paper hits the floor and she freaks.

    Colin Mochrie At Its Finest
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So awesome. On Christmas, my 7 year old asked to wash dishes. She asked before a couple of times previously but we didnt have 5-year old friendly dishes those times. At 3 she went through a stage so we let her wash some of her dishes. So she cleared the table on her own and my husband washed dishes with her. But gettig her to do anything else is like pulling teeth.

    Elizabeth Molloy
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a "gift"? Your kids should always share the housework! How are they going to live alone, otherwise?

    CharliAnn Olney
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow! What a wonderful Christmas Present!

    Pippa Runs
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awww that’s really sweet 🥰

    Luuta
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awww. Our daughter is equally amazing. You are blessed!

    Karin
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lovely! But why is it on a list of Funny Tweets?

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    So how can parents do this? Broadbent suggests starting by planning Christmas in advance, especially when it comes to the festive budget (expenses for decorations, food, and presents)—becoming proactive and not reactive to pressures and changes, adversities.

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    "No one could have foreseen a pandemic this year, which spoiled our planned gatherings, yet here we are. Budget for a Christmas you want for your family which includes a contingency plan and that won't compromise your life for the other 11 months of the year. Remember, you are not expected to share this period online unless you want to, so don't feel a duty or pressure to photograph and share your experiences on social media," she said.

    "If anyone makes you feel bad about yourself, mute, unfollow, or take a break over this more pressured time. Be in the moment, switch off as much as possible and let your hair down a little, you deserve it."

    You will always be able to catch up on what's viral with Bored Panda later!

    #5

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    saltymamas Report

    Zophra
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My first wrapped gift of the season had crisply folded edges, symmetrically placed tape, beautiful ribbon and a bow. By the end of gift-wrapping, presents had a distinctive "is it covered?" appearance and looked more like a rat had gnawed on it.

    Sheena Ferr
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm awful at gift wrapping. I tell my kids Santa left the wrapping paper & instructions when I wasn't looking. He was so busy delivering presents, he needed my help .

    Persephone
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like a fun family 🙄

    Philly Bob Squires
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you've ever seen a butcher wrap pork chops, you'll know how I wrap presents.

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    #6

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    AubriePesky Report

    Serial pacifist
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jerome might be arguably more useful than many boyfriends.

    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Boyfriends don't need to be disassembled to cut the hair out of them (generally).

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    glowworm2
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love that the roomba has a name.

    Zophra
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My vacuum cleaner is George.

    Su Hall
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Years ago, my daughter kept talking about a 'Bob' when she was small. Hubs was asking questions! Come to find out it was Bob on Sesame Street.

    DKS 001
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    if he's your ex, it's none of his business anyway

    Stephanie Raymond
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If he's the father of the girl, he should know who is near her

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    Sherri Coleman
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We have Geoffrey. He has a mustache and is pissed off with all the pine needles from the Christmas Tree.

    Lord Mysticlaw
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder if the ex wondered why Jerome is always referred to in the context of cleaning?

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    #7

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    mikejason73 Report

    HalfShelli
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG, does she have her hand over her heart?? 🥰 I need her name so I can vote for her for Congress or president when she inevitably runs someday.

    Karin
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Right ON! But why is it on a list of Funny Tweets?

    Freya Fluharty
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wonder what she was thinking. Was she thinking about how big it is, who the guy is, who created the statue, why it's there, how he'd look with painted nails....

    Colin Mochrie At Its Finest
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One day they will make a statue of her-she can do great things.

    David Retsler
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a beautiful picture on so many different levels.

    Jaybird3939
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe in a few decades, we'll be seeing her Inaugurated on a January day.

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    #8

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    BunAndLeggings Report

    MRSS
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is DEFINITELY something I have thought and said when I was a kid. LMAO Your kid is awesome.

    Phoenix
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me all the time as a kid wondering why Santa put me on the Nice list. When I found out it was my parents it all made sense.

    Debbie Burton
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    See.... it all falls apart eventually

    Meyer Weinstock
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a piece of rope. It was on the knotty list....

    Naomi Cline
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My first thought would be what has she done that 1. I don’t know about and 2. That is so bad to her that she put herself on the naughty list😈

    Tarryn Louise
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The naughty list and presents threat.... teaching kids that no matter how much of an ass you are, you still get rewarded.

    Šimon Špaček
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is more shocking, kid having such a good sense of her own naughtiness, or that it wasn't tweet from XplodingUnicorn?

    #9

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    byclintedwards Report

    TheReader19
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When there teens you'll find you can sleep for twelve hours a day

    My O My
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She has a cat...she can't

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    Suzieq
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank God for giant boxes of coffee!

    Nick McPherran
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hysterical. Hope Santa brought you an hour of sleep!

    Khrystja
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 19 yr old... "Mom, you look tired, GO TO BED!"

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    #10

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    plainmary_jane Report

    Zophra
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think this is worth getting downvoted, because this really bothered me. The comment about "boys will be boys" is stupid, callous, and inappropriate. But this comment is lauded? What if a boy said he was "born to crush all girls?" We have to be consistent and have respect both ways. Unless... born to crush means something I am not aware of and I am taking this wrong.

    abby smink
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because no one is actually doing anything here. She's not crushing anything. While, boys will be boys is often using to explain teasing, bullying, slapping and hair pulling, among other things.

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    Dónal Ó Murchadha
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some weird seeds being planted in that girls head. My brother recently had to correct his 7 year old boy who proclaimed that all girls were stupid by pointing out Mammy was the smartest in the family where she was the only girl. Also children of 4 rarely understand the duel/metaphorical meaning of words so it sounds like she's repeating what she's heard from elsewhere without really understanding.

    Tarryn Louise
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the reverse was that her son said he was born to crush all girls, it wouldn't be upvoted. Teach your kids better, regardless of gender. Choices people, choices.

    Moo Moo Futch
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm shining my glorious armour and saddling up my steed as we speak.

    KombatBunni
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let me just go get my sword..be right with you!

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    Yup
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dammit who went through and downvoted everything

    MRSS
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Right???? Someone who has WAAAAAAAY to much time on their hands and just wants to be a complete and total utter Duck Tard Troll.

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    Bodiddly
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every single person commenting like sexist idiiots. How the hell does a 4 year old make a comment like that ?! This works both ways, if you dont like sexism dont be a sexist.

    Luuta
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's called "indoctrination". It's not something to applaud, the hatred of an entire group of people, because of the appalling behaviour of a few of them, whatever gender or race they are. Hatred of men is called misandry and is every bit as obnoxious as misogyny.

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    #11

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    trintran Report

    Chris
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah but I get better value from a round by taking at least twice as many shots.

    Zoe Hoesley
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oml child has broken the matrix

    MRSS
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well she's certainly not wrong in making that statement!!! Smart and observant kiddo you have there!!

    KellyKix
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless you're Donald Trump

    Dave P
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    golf is about hanging outdoors with your buddies while occasionally hitting a ball

    Yup
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This kid is smarter than us all

    DogMatic
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Requiring a vast amount of useful land is probably part of it.

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    #12

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    notmythirdrodeo Report

    Margaret Rae
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your daughter clearly has a dog

    Sheila Weila
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a student who kept writing stories about her wiener dog, Samantha. She didn't have a dog, but her parents got her one for Christmas!

    Carlota
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You have a dog, you just don't see it

    uber mensch
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You don't have a dog YET - that you know of.

    David Retsler
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's an up and coming politician.

    Yup
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That kid knows how to hustle

    CincyReds
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well you need to get one! Every little girl deserves a dog

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    #13

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    reallifemommy3 Report

    Margaret Rae
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the before times. That's fantastic

    Jeanette Goldsmith
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is even funnier if you're from England lol

    Jim Price
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the most difficult aspect of finally getting past Covid-19 is getting back into pants and the full time job environment simultaneously.

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    #14

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    HenpeckedHal Report

    Violet Grey
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    carrots are frickin amazing

    Yup
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can just see the betrayed face on Christmas morning

    Zophra
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    squash is worse. from Satan.

    Emily Ashyn
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    sorta off-topic but I used to think I hated carrots when I was young but then I ate a raw carrot and loved it

    Linda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    henpecked hal... His name is Al and he's a 4 touch downas in 1 game hero.

    Elizabeth Tunney
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    me too. Carrots are a part of life,little one

    CCTheVampire
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm allergic to raw carrots and I like them... But cooked carrots are gross. This is an amazing idea for a kid though!!!

    Lexi Mitchell
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sure is great that this guy just as a laugh riot family 24/7.

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    #15

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    gfishandnuggets Report

    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter started calling bagels donut toast when she was 3

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could you start letting them name exoplanets first, as currently every exoplanet name looks like it was made using this method: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAlrY0iZKwQ

    Naomi Cline
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my kid was 4, he’s 22 now, would shorten phrases and names all the time. My favorite it “sure (why) not” we use it all the time. Another good one- to(morrow)morning.

    Yup
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol my 4 year old brother says this too

    Dave P
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    especially considering that is the name of an existing brand of hand sanitizer

    Janice H
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still think my son's name for those wrinkles you get when you've been in the water too long should be called "sprinkles" by everyone. And pretzels are called "hugs" forever for me.

    Jane Alexander
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I recall my little brother telling the other kids; "You don't sleep with it, you put it on your lap, it's a 'Lapkin'. Found out years later he was historically right! The napkin went at the nape of the neck and the lapkin on the lap.

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    #16

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    gfishandnuggets Report

    Ty Stratton-Quirk
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Okay, but did you HAVE to put it in the silverware drawer?"

    Allie G.
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You just made me choke on my coffee. Thank you.

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    Maryse Faucher
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Better than my 18 yo who hid my x mas gift and forgot where it is

    Aria Whitaker
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOL.. That was my daughter at Christmas this year! "Here Daddy, this gift is yours....it IS FOR YOUR EXERCISE ROOM!!" Gee, thanks sweetie.

    Yup
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That person’s name is a child’s entire diet

    Lexi Mitchell
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lmao not me. I’ve been praised for my insane secret keeping stamina.

    Colin Mochrie At Its Finest
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why I don't tell my kids what I got daddy. So far they just draw pictures for him each holiday.

    Katie Lutesinger
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was about four my mum and I went out shopping and bought a new saw for my Dad's birthday present. Mum swore me to secrecy because "it's a surprise". So the instant we got in the door I rushed over to Dad and said "We got you a present! It's a surprise! IT'S A SWORD!" The family still jokes about it to this day.

    Elizabeth Molloy
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My parents 'hid' a bike for Christmas in the cupboard where I kept my toy pram. That was a weird discovery! I never mentioned it, though.

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    #18

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    LizerReal Report

    CD Mills
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They are technically correct, which is the best kind of correct.

    Sarah Richardson
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still call it moo juice and I’m 47...

    HalfShelli
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same here at 55! Is this something our Boomer parents did? Because I got that name from my mom when I was a kid. Hidden lede: Gen Xers still haven’t grown up yet.

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    MRSS
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG I LOVE THIS!!! I am going to start start saying this. PLEASE DON'T EVER TELL YOUR KID THE PROPER NAME IS MILK!!! This is amazingly awesome to me!!!

    Patricia Rix
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back in the 60s I taught my niece to call it cow juice, and my sister was annoyed. lol

    Dave P
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know Cow Juice is a slang term from the 50's and 60's that boomers use all the time. Maybe look at grandma and grandpa to see where she learned that from

    Heather Mack-Scott
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LMAO...when my kids where little I use to call milk moo juice. When I was babysitting that how I got one kids to drink milk as she thought it was juice and that all she wanted.

    evelyn amezquita
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    actually on thesaurus.com synonyms for milk is moo juice XD

    Claire Harper
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want to raise this child as my own now

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    #19

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    Dessytothemax Report

    Serial pacifist
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Such a bright boy and beautiful eyes.

    CatWoman312
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How do you listen to telepathy?

    Tracy Baparam
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Recently I've been seeing alot of parents complain that their kids refuse to wear a mask because they're too young to understand. Well, here's a child that has autism and his smile says it all. If he can do, so can your spoilt kids.

    Shell O
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think he has autism. His name is Austin

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    HalfShelli
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, to be fair, he didn’t say he loves the *words*. I think he gets it!

    Catlady6000
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We do respond emotionally to music, often before we ever actually hear or even understand the words

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    Thalia Lovering
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can tell that he is smiling, bless him

    BTS_are My_Horcruxes
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A proud ARMY mum💜 he's sweeet... If y'all wondering, "Telepathy" is a korean song by Grammy Nominated artist and Billboard hot 100 #1 artist... *BTS* - BangTan Sonyeondan.

    Kalika Burgau
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The moms shaming in these comments did not pass the vibe check. 🙄 Must be nice to be the "perfect mom" of a tiny terror who never does wrong

    Alina
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Amber Guthrie
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    <3 a tiny BTS ARMY right there <3

    Bonnie Edwards
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's telepathic? I think Telepathy would really help me figure out my husband and brothers.

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    #20

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    xo_laaaay Report

    Sara
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do parents do this? Why scare your kids on purpose? Is this supposed to be fun?

    David Retsler
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why are you putting your kid in such a position as this?

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why are Grinch photoshoots so popular?

    HalfShelli
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am wondering this myself. It just seems cruel.

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    Bex
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's running away because that grinch isn't practicing proper social distancing.

    Jessica Shookhoff
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can't breath! Laughing too hard!! This pic sums up Christmas 2020 perfectly!!!

    GoodCatto
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah... no. That's just ending up as PTSD and unhealed trauma. Who the HECK does this??

    KT
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    poor parenting FTL

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    #21

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    FondaJLee Report

    Paula Swanson
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fonda Lee is a Science and f=fantasy writer and Author...

    Melissa Boatman Linebaugh
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The mom is a writer and was impressed that her daughter could be moved to tears by the power of the written word and that her daughter was angry at the writer for giving the characters a fate they didn’t deserve.

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    AliJanx
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I immediately thought about the Grinch....

    Momma Dubb
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand this one. I get that the mom is an author but what is making her proud of her child and authors in general?

    Lingling40hrs
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My guess is that they wrote a book so good it moved her to tears. Being a huge bookworm myself, it's not uncommon for this to happen.

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    DKS 001
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    kid's version of Game of Thrones?

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    #22

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    Kids_kubed Report

    CanidaeVulpes
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I gave laundry detergent, baby Tylenol and some other items I thought more useful once. I got some odd looks

    Joe Reaves
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Probably only from the people without kids lol.

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    Heather Harmon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You hide wine in the diaper cake it’s a win win

    HalfShelli
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am filing this away for my daughters’ first baby showers.

    Tarryn Louise
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please give boat sized maternity pads and instant coffee. K thanks.

    Sanne H.
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahaha! Never thought about it that way but it’s a good idea :-)

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    AzKhaleesi
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "slap a bow on it if you're feeling fancy" lmao

    Martha Murphy
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Better they should skip the shower and sleep. They probably won't get a chance later.

    Colin Mochrie At Its Finest
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Diaper cakes are the most practical as long as they aren't cloth-only. And since becoming a mom, I would gift a mom item as well.

    Robert Robi Z
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The three Wise men: 'We brought to Baby Jesus gold, myrth and incense...' Mary: 'That's nice guys, but some diapers and baby food would be way better.'

    Rukkia
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did a baby and parent care package. Everything you need to take care of a sick baby and tired new parents.

    Carrie Roettger
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My go to baby shower gift Is a small diaper bag packed with baby socks, extra bottles and onesies. I learned really quickly with first that the huge diaper bag was a pain, socks disappear and onesies are the best. Oh and a package of burp cloths.

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    #23

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    RYGdance Report

    Becca Gizmo the Squirrel
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my daughter was 2 or 3 (she is now 23) my mom was babysitting for me one day. My daughter grabbed some money from my mom and just stood by the door for a while. Finally my mom asked what she was doing. "Waiting for pizza" was her answer. I guess she thought if she stood there long enough pizza would show up.

    Colin Mochrie At Its Finest
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love card making. My kiddo made a card for Elf on the Shelf-who loses his|her (we havent defined a gender for Elfie) magic and can play with them post Christmas for 2-3 days, saying (s)he could have a sleepover with her. Next card said (s)he coild have a sleepover with her brother next night. Sweet!

    #24

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    MumInBits Report

    Thalia Lovering
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This attitude will keep you far from sleeping though.

    Irina Deneva-Slav
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm saving this for the next time my daughter complains about being forced to ingest vitamins in raw form. Can't wait for the comeback.

    Bored Seb
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    so basically you want your daughter to feel guilty and that she sees vitamins as a punishment? I'm no parent, so I obviously can't't tell if it's a good way to go or not.

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    Khrystja
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn't asked to be borned!!!

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    #25

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    emily_tweets Report

    Zoe Hoesley
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank you for that big of advice my dear, imma packet that one for when I’m pregnant

    CatWoman312
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They all assumed you still had a soul

    elfin
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The costs of their therapy afterwards would wipe you out financially anyway.

    Kantami Blossom
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell me about it, there's people who've made millions in YouTube just by recording themselves being arseholes and here I am being an arsehole for free.

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    #26

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    pro_worrier_ Report

    Vic
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah the bringer of joy and happiness.. well chosen, kid!

    elfin
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perhaps Mommy does too. It happens.

    Lisa Casserly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Insulting, and yet accurate. I know these things as the experienced mother of five kids. Also insulting: Mommy, do you know why I love you? (You think awwww, and what wonderful thing will they say?) Why? Then the insult... because you are so soft and squishy. Geez. Thanks. I mean, I know I gained some weight, but REALLY KID?

    Jim Price
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back when my son was 4 and my Grandfather was alive, they had some good times together. Once during a conversation Grand pointed my way and asked 4 "Who is that gentleman over there?" 4 glanced my way and answered. "That's no gentleman, that's just my daddy." I didn't say I had a good time when they were together.

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    #27

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    HenpeckedHal Report

    Joy Stowe
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So your little boy loves animals, is imaginative, and stubborn. He sounds perfect to me!

    Katchen
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son said he stays awake at night and in the day— he declared himself to be both nocturnal and “docturnal”. We then taught him the word diurnal but man I loved “docturnal”.

    elfin
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be sure to buy this kid lots and lots of leggos.

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a friend who apparently refused to go to bed at age 3, as he claimed to be "nocturtle".

    Lorelai Purvis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yesterday i pretended to be a dog until my parents told me if i didn't stop i would be grounded. so about 10 minutes...

    Jennifer Crompton
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I so wish that there was video of this 🤣🤣

    Ravenwolf
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That sounds like something I would do as a child

    JD Lee
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is the highlight for these parents whose kids fall/trip/bump into things the highlight, & why the need to brag it’s the highlight? I’m more impressed with his imagination. Not so impressed with parents fishing for likes/retweets at the expense of their kids. Respect. Find some.

    #28

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    IGGYAZALEA Report

    Šimon Špaček
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It depends. If you do it in private or only in family, it is ok. If your kid watches you, not great. And if you posted it on YouTube with title "little dumb falling" then you should not even ask.

    HalfShelli
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Her son is less than six months old. I think she’s safe.

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    M Kate McCulloch
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not hurt? No trip to the hospital? Laugh it up...

    JD Lee
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t know that pissing yourself is wrong. I piss when I sneeze thanks to my kids. It’s bragging you laughed at him for falling over that’s questionable.

    Carlota
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Am I the only one who didn't know Iggy Azalea has a son?

    Lisa Casserly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, you're not wrong. Maybe don't play it in front of him, it might hurt his feelings... but its one of the great payback moments of parenting... for all the times they just drive you nuts and embarass you.

    Suzanne Haigh
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So lovely your son can give you so much happiness

    Ruth Beaty
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Enjoy it while you can, it won't be so funny when the kid is 14.

    David Martin
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not wrong if you picked up your child BEFORE watching 50 times

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    #29

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    LizerReal Report

    n i k o
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually, a 135% chance, to be exact.

    juji
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    why did you put the % in front of the number? you aren't supposed to do that :/

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    Khrystja
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Finding my 18 month old sucking on an insulin tube!! Calling poison control in a frantic panic, lady was so kind to not laugh at me. Husband got home (he's the diabetic) said, why didn't you just call me, I'd've told you he was fine. "Cause I was going to kill you if he died and I wanted it to be a surprise!!"

    Tinykame
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My oldest ate a lightbulb and a bottle rocket. He's a bright child though.

    meow point1
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That reminds me of when I was eight. I was paranoid about poison for some reason and at one point I was worried I'd be poisoned from kissing my stuffies!

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    #30

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    HenpeckedHal Report

    Marianne
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So ... Santa gives your children unboxed presents? I'm from Germany and American movies suggest that when you gift a toy to a child, you are supposed to assemble it beforehand. So is that true? Here, I would never open the box of a toy I am going to give as a present, because then it is not new anymore and assembling it is half of the fun for children.

    Pippa Runs
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So I just learned this...my husband’s family said unwrapped presents are from Santa ans wrapped ones are from family. I had no idea you could do that haha. But sounds like it’s a thing other families do/knew?

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ha! That's a great save though.

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    #31

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    RYGdance Report

    Paizleypie
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, and it's so unfair! Little boys have the most beautiful eyelashes in the world.

    Sian Edwards
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 7 year old nephew really does have gorgeous eyelashes. To go with his beautiful brown eyes and cheeky grin!

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    Queen fhk
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Spongebob has d most cutest eyelash and he is a boy lol

    Jessica Gorny
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He needs to watch ole speed racer cartoons

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    #32

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    lmegordon Report

    Demi Zwaan
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, they give audible and visual clues when they need to be watered or fed, so that makes it much easier.

    Joy Stowe
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once took a quiz on what type of pet I should get. Apparently, the only pet I was fit for was an Ant Farm. The jokes on them! I successfully raised a daughter and two dogs! I still can't keep a plant alive though.

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The experience of raising a plant wouldn't help you much with raising kids. (Child says Mummy I'm hungry and thirsty. Mother responds by packing soil round child's feet and pouring water over their head.)

    Annanana
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids are that much more resilient

    #33

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    reallifemommy3 Report

    Roland Kreslin
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Duct tape. Makes moving things stop

    Deborah Brett
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You need the box trick. Put the toddler in a large cardboard box with favorite toy. The box is now a bus/boat/time machine.

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    #34

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    BunAndLeggings Report

    Khrystja
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They never are, and we need to get used to it. I called the pistachio shells "nut holders'" at 49. I called my son's video game controller a "Pew pew thingee" My brain short circuits and I got for whatever pops up first

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    MRSS
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wrapping paper sounds about right to me!!

    Colin Mochrie At Its Finest
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds right. My friend in college called it the Banana wrapper once.

    Angel Johnson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First of all that little kid should have been told to say "PLEASE"!!!

    Carlotta Müller
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does not say please, insists on his wording.... take your "wrapper" of the banana yourself. :-P

    Katherine Boag
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stop giving him his banana in a condom

    Robert Robi Z
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't take the wrapper off banas. Why should I, I know what's inside.

    YoyoSthlm
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well my kid used to call it fruit skin

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    #35

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    copymama Report

    Stille20
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't teach your kids to be mean..... do this when they aren't around

    HalfShelli
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Family holiday traditions are so important.

    Cynthia Souza
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not a fan of photo cards that have no personalization. Pre-printed address labels, pre-printed signature, with no note, nothing that shows any thought. Why bother? Send the photos, but a written note with my name means a lot more.

    JD Lee
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why? And why advertise you do this? Remind me to leave you off the list next year.

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    #36

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    simoncholland Report

    Stille20
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope. See that's an easy place where the line can be drawn on the whole screens thing

    CanidaeVulpes
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You could tell them to leave the iPad at home

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    You could but who wants a big row just before Christmas?

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    Jim Price
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son seldom leaves his computer, and my ex-wife's wife doesn't like car trips, so this Christmas, my ex and I went out looking at neighborhood lights alone. We may not be compatible, but we understand one another.

    Marcia Blosser
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was a yearly tradition in our family to drive and look at the Christmas lights. There were certain neighborhoods that we drove to every year because ever home was lit u This was in Wichita, Ks.

    A Cat Named Dragon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This should be higher! Seriously this is all kids do anymore is watch videos of other kids playing games and having fun!

    Christel Nellemann
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Eell.. you let the, do that 🤷‍♀️

    #37

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    dad_on_my_feet Report

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    #38

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    LauraBenanti Report

    meow point1
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, it could just mean that even as a witch, she'd still have her muggle name.

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    katboxjanitor
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ella may not understand what 'evil' really means. I hope she never does experience it.

    Robert Robi Z
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So witch part don't you understand?

    Khrystja
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sweetie, I don't need to pretend... now, do you want to be seasoned with Old Bay or Chinese 5 spice?

    Phil Boswell
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, she pretends she's Melania on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert…I think that might be the only thing he'll miss when T***p finally goes 🤔

    Tarryn Louise
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pretend you're getting coal for christmas.

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    #40

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    lmegordon Report

    Vic
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rest is: at times the nights are longer..

    Wanna-be Vegetarian
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The days are long but the years are short. Gonna go cry now...

    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But they look like angels when they're sleeping. No matter how awful my kid was when awake, as soon as they fell asleep, I was like "Oh my God - so beautiful..."

    meow point1
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The days are long. The days are so, so damn long. But as the kids learn, you grow strong. It may seem like they'll never learn, And for peace and quiet you'll always yearn, But you see, this too, shall pass someday, And the bratty phase will go away. And you'll even look back again, And laugh about what happened then.

    As parents rush to meet holiday expectations, the pressure of the season can overwhelm them.

    Emphasizing the reality behind holiday experiences, many find relief in knowing they're not alone in their struggles. The shared laughter from relatable parenting tales can be a source of comfort and inspiration during such challenging times.

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    #41

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    aissalanis Report

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Goddammit, not that kind of dump truck!

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    #42

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    simoncholland Report

    Jennifer Crompton
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to feel so bad because I thought I was the only parent that hated going to these things. All of the other parents seem to love them

    #43

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    HenpeckedHal Report

    Irina Deneva-Slav
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kid 3: Wants you to do all the easy things she can do perfectly well herself but tries to do all the difficult and dangerous things herself. It's fun.

    Jim Price
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have kid 1 and a kegerator. He's 31 and bought me said kegerator.

    Lord Mysticlaw
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine takes turns being a 1 and 2. We love surprises.

    Colin Mochrie At Its Finest
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And there are kids who do both...at once....

    Luna Wolfblood
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 5-year-old brother is definitely kid one. He started crying when I asked him if he could put away a pair of pjs

    #44

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    BunAndLeggings Report

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    #47

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    FeministaJones Report

    ME
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh my god i never thought about it that way..my mind just exploded 😐😐😧😧 ^-^-^-^-^-----------------------------------------------------------------------DEATH*

    Dave P
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was a 20th century modification to sanitize the rhyme for kids

    Jennifer Crompton
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apparently, in "Through the Looking Glass", Lewis Carroll depicted Humpty as an egg and that's how the egg thing started. But amazingly, the rhyme was originally written about a cannon!! https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffingtonpost.com.au/amp/2017/10/23/why-is-humpty-dumpty-an-egg-an-investigation_a_23253276/

    HalfShelli
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh my god! How did this happen that we all think Humpty Dumpty is an egg, and how do I nominate this kid for a MacArthur Fellowship?

    KellyKix
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now I can never see this the same ever again....

    Mosheh Wolf
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a riddle, with "an egg" being the answer. Besides, Lewis Carroll has him as an egg.

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    #48

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    sweetmomissa Report

    Abhainn
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    which makes you an even better mom;)

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    #49

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    mommajessiec Report

    ME
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thats my mom all the way

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    #50

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    HenpeckedHal Report

    HalfShelli
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know a kid who used to ask for cold hot chocolate when he wanted chocolate milk, so this made perfect sense to me too.

    #51

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    pro_worrier_ Report

    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is sweet. The kid would prefer not to be alone and assumes the mom feels the same way. Not accurate, but still sweet.

    HalfShelli
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cats feel the same way whenever their owners want to bathe, go to the bathroom, cook have sex, or sleep, or – god forbid – be behind a closed door for any reason or length of time. Cats think we MIGHT DIE if we are left without their guidance and support for a single moment.

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    Colin Mochrie At Its Finest
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 3 year old hates being shut out of the bathroom . If he makes it in I say "there goes my privacy" to which he says "You still have privacy. you still have a little bit of privacy. I am not concerned about a 3 year old, we are just transitioning our 7 year old as we all just go open-door but she is learning to close it in front of others, plus she doesn't need to be seeing her dad pee....

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    #52

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    edsbs Report

    Serial pacifist
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's gotta know. They said that the Frozen Holiday Special starts at 5:00. One letter - am or pm, makes no difference in his universe. Time is time.

    Philly Bob Squires
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sure the cat knows...

    David Retsler
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's time for a life lesson.

    #53

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    SnarkyMommy78 Report

    Sian Edwards
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fair point. It's really hot in the desert!

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    #54

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    ksujulie Report

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    #55

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    SnarkyMommy78 Report

    #56

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    MumInBits Report

    #57

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    suecorvette Report

    Ty Stratton-Quirk
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A five year old with a drum set. A nine year old with an accordian. A failed businessman in the Oval Office.

    Vic
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okay.. that escalated really fast..

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    Hooked
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That same kid with that same joke book but 6 months later....

    Luna Wolfblood
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sharing a room with a sister who keeps rereading the joke book and cracks the same bad jokes agin and again. A little brother who makes up his own horrendous jokes

    Anna roberts
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The 6 yr olds dad with a new joke book

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    #58

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    HomeWithPeanut Report

    Vic
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup.. that's accurate..

    HalfShelli
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s me too! I even switched to medium. What am I doing wrong?

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    #59

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    CeciATL Report

    Mark Howell
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Married for 20 yrs with a daughter ... I know my place ;o)

    David Retsler
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tee hee- it's cute when the domestic labor paradigm is turned around against males. Tee hee!

    #60

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    dadmann_walking Report

    Anna roberts
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope, some of us parents teach our children to respect things and not to break them. My kids played with a lot of toys from when I was a kid and they will be passed down to their kids in due time.

    #61

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    momsense_ensues Report

    Katie Lutesinger
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was little and got diarrhoea I called it "angry poos". I would have forgotten that a long time ago but my mum kept reminding me.

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    #62

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    ICantEven001 Report

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    #64

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    RYGdance Report

    #65

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    sweetmomissa Report

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    #66

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    Mom_Overboard Report

    Lord Mysticlaw
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg I remember when I got my first paycheck. Ffs.

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    #67

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    MumInBits Report

    #68

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    sarabellab123 Report

    #69

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    BunAndLeggings Report

    Vic
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You have to use the command to activate before giving an instruction, like "Alexa", "Hey Google", "I'll turn off the TV if you don't"

    Maria
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know this is a joke, but I need to raise awareness of Auditory Processing Disorder! It doesn't show up on normal hearing tests, so if your kids says she can't hear, consider APD. Thank you, public service announcement over.

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    #70

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    RodLacroix Report

    Zinia Sundahl
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Something you can’t go wrong with a certificate that says “you are formally invited to clean the house for 2 hours!”

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    #71

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    gfishandnuggets Report

    Abhainn
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe in you! *clap, clap, clap*

    #72

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    threetimedaddy Report

    Katy McMouse
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 14 yr.old has never liked pizza. Try explaining that at EVERY birthday party he ever attended. Strangely mortifying

    readingthequibbler
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel that as a teenager who doesn't like mac n cheese

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    Colin Mochrie At Its Finest
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 3 year old doesnt like pasta unless it is mac n cheese.....what 3 year old doesnt like pasta?

    #73

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    Musings_of_wine Report

    Red
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Very funny 10/10

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    #74

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    RYGdance Report

    ME
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wow your so mean like how could you wow just wow

    Jim Price
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How much worse would your kid think of you if you allowed it?

    Abhainn
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    98% chance you're right, but there's that 2% chance you're wrong... :)

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    Colin Mochrie At Its Finest
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do, I just go up to them and tell them to put their face there. Tricks the 3 yr old every time. In turn my 3 year old runs over just to fart on my lap.

    Anna roberts
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, it's even more fun trying to raise Dad

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    #75

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    chrislhayes Report

    Colin Mochrie At Its Finest
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like 20 minutes ago- *7 yr old melts ice in microwave-good to experiment how it worked* "dont make it a habit" -me "I was doing it the old fashioned way" "No....that's not the old fashioned way." "Was the old fashioned way to get water from the ocean?"

    Jennifer Crompton
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son once asked me when I met his dad. I said 1998. His eyes got huge and he said "you've known dad since the nineteen hundreds!?!?" I felt about a million years old.

    Dave P
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, I call Bull, given his track record for honesty and truth, I dont believe anything this man says

    #77

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    Chhapiness Report

    Ripley
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Teal *is* the best colour . . .

    Aroace tiger
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's possible to convince kids to change their favourite colour without them knowing it. I changed my sister's favourite colour to blue once.

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    #78

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    LizerReal Report

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    #80

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    mom_tho Report

    #81

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    Chhapiness Report

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    #82

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    threetimedaddy Report

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    #83

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    daddydoubts Report

    Ty Stratton-Quirk
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plot twist: they actually aren't under the kid's bed. That three year old is an evil genius.

    OpalTheRainwing <3
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

    Colin Mochrie At Its Finest
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "definitely". My 3 yr old says ackiky for actually.

    #84

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    michimama75 Report

    Viviane
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pull the heart strings and see if chocolate falls out... ;)

    #85

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    reallifemommy3 Report

    Red
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And who told you could tell them when to sleep?

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    #86

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    michimama75 Report

    ME
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    4 must be a really common name

    Colin Mochrie At Its Finest
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My kid at age 2 attempting to ask Alexa to play Baby Shark.

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    #87

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    lezzimomof2 Report

    #89

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    momsense_ensues Report

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    #90

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-December

    dadthatwrites Report

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