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50 Photos That You Might Find Relatable If You Belong In The “Circle Of Idiots” (New Pics)
How many times have you laughed today? Apparently, the average child giggles about 300 times every single day! Meanwhile, adults typically only chuckle 17 times a day. There’s definitely some room for improvement there. So if you’d like to add some more humor into your day, you’ve come to the right place, pandas!
We took a trip to the Circle of Idiots Instagram page and gathered some of their silliest and most relatable posts below. From memes that might make you feel seen to screenshots from social media that you’ll immediately want to send to your friends, we hope you enjoy scrolling through this list. And be sure to upvote the images that make you giggle!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 5 months ago
A comedian has a bit about aliens warning their kids about us, where he’s the alien waving his kids off as they head out in their spaceship, “Goodbye, have fun, stay away from the blue planet, they pee in their drinking water.”
Beak Hookage 5 months ago
Well, we *have* broadcast an awful lot of movies about us killing aliens.
DetriMentaL (It/That) 5 months ago
Right now an alien mom is telling her child to finish their supper because kids on earth are starving
Lisa Galway 5 months ago
Yep, they must laugh and shake their heads at the mess we've made on this planet
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
They came, they saw, they realised we were going to self-destruct anyway.
RELATED:
#2
Uncle Panda 5 months ago
Unfortunately, I can think up a lot of counterexamples but upon reflection, it may be due to my choice in friends.
Abby Rexroth 5 months ago
Such good advice...I've cringed over 30+ year old c**p...gotta let it go!
#3
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
Not sure why you got downvoted - AS here - we really do mean chill, not try and get it on.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
THIS!!!! Have had to explain that when I say that, it is NOT a euphemism.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 5 months ago
A decent film & a tub of ice cream, right?
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SchadenFreudian Psychology 5 months ago
So, I guess that means we’re just friends. Listen, I gotta go now. I’ll call you.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 5 months ago
That comma instead of a full step changes the entire meaning of the sentence, the choices being given are: "stop trying to kiss me", "stop trying to watch this alien conspiracy documentary", "stop trying to leave".
We’re all well aware of the fact that “an apple a day keeps the doctor away,” but can memes and giggles have the same effect? According to Verywell Mind, they just might. There are some very real health benefits to being exposed to humor, especially for your heart. Apparently, laughing can lower your blood pressure, and in turn, lower your risk of heart disease.
Chuckling with friends can also ease physical pain. When you laugh, you relax, which can ease tension and help you forget for a moment that your body has discomfort. Endorphins can be natural painkillers, so if you’re feeling unwell today, these memes might be able to help!
#4
Robert Trebor 5 months ago
Fed-Ex is just as bad. Driver dumped a $600 air conditioner on its side in front of my gate (which was ajar) on a busy road. Luckily, I was watching out and got it in, and it works fine. But they charged me a $7 "Driver tip"
Uncle Panda 5 months ago (edited)
I watched an Amazon-UPS delivery circle my house for three days, despite the fact that the driveway has been there for 94 years, then they claimed it was delivered, but no package. What? You delivered to a closed business address in Texas? Okay, sending emails... About a week later a neighbor who lived about a mile away dropped it off at my house. It wasn't a small thing that could slip through the cracks - it was a hydraulic wood splitter.
Stephanie Did It 5 months ago
Third option which should be between 1 and 2: We've never heard of that address, regardless of how many times we've delivered there.
2x4b523p 5 months ago
Evri package broken, Evri package late. They allegedly attempt delivery 10x while I’m home before succesflully delivering to mysterious secure location while I’m also home. Then it's like easter egg hunt.
Load More Replies... Giraffe Sitter 5 months ago
And yet still better than UPS. What is an “exception” and why did it cause you to send my package halfway back to its origin for a week?
Bored Trash Panda 4 months ago
I live in Reno, NV. I ordered something that was coming from Sacramento (about 130 miles or 209km west from me). It went from Sacramento to Illinois ( 1800miles/2896KM east of me) and then back to Sacramento, then delivered to me....
#5
Lee Gilliland 5 months ago
If you don't want a cheeky reply, you shouldn't be making cheeky comments.
#6
Howl's sleeping castle 5 months ago
I used to work at a call centre and we were advised to leave messages on answering machine. Once out of curiosity i replayed it to listen. The horror! The horror!! Forget leaving messages, now I don't even talk to people over the phone. Happily texting for 15 years now.
Scott Rackley 5 months ago
I'm always surprised at how deep my voice is. It doesn't sound that way after bouncing around in my skull.
Bananaramamama 5 months ago
I am literally the opposite! I always felt that for a woman my voice was deep and a little harsh/gruff but when I hear it on a recording it sounds so "delicate". Which maybe explains why my kids occasionally don't respond to my "stern mom voice" 🤣
Load More Replies... featherytoad 5 months ago
One year when I worked for a call center, they decided to start doing reviews of your calls that were recorded. You can imagine how that went over.
Uncle Panda 5 months ago
I had a co-worker who would leave 20-25 minute voice mails, with a matching lengthy email, neither of which I ever paid attention to because there was absolutely no way to get her to NOT repeat the entire message in person. My solution was to make her sit and listen to one entire message while I nailed her to the chair with an icy expression. She never did it to me again, although later, the head boss came to me to get the secret. She did the same and the two of us were the only ones who avoided the trident approach to communications.
Nicole Weymann 5 months ago
I hate voice messages with an irrational vengeance, and one exeeding the 1.5 minute mark is WELL past my tolerance level! (Too bad that I also have an irrationally high sense of responsibility and accountability, so I will still listen to it, 'cause "it might be important!!1!" Spoiler: so far it never has been)
Load More Replies... Rosecrucian Roeth 5 months ago
When you speak you hear your own voice from inside and everyone else hears it from outside. I could never recognize my own voice on a tape or video without knowing it was me.
Are you an insomniac? If so, you might want to try increasing your daily intake of comedy. One study found that engaging in laughter therapy helped residents at a long-term care hospital improve their quality of sleep and reduce their feelings of depression.
Meanwhile, if you want to strengthen your immune system, taking supplements isn’t the only solution. Verywell Mind explains that laughing can increase our antibody-producing cells and strengthen our T cells. In other words, we’re building up a stronger army to fight infections by getting some giggles in!
#7
Chilli 5 months ago
one of the girls toilets at my school has a stall door dedicated to writing down the names and grades of boys who had said misogynistic comments or touched people without consent. Amazingly, it hasn't been painted over or scrubbed off.
Nina 5 months ago
I wondered too, it might have to do with taking accountability for your own actions. Like the men with only crazy exes, what do those exes have in common?
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Auntriarch 5 months ago
And sadly not true even when the guy in question actually is trash.
Load More Replies... Giles McArdell 5 months ago
Not entirely fair given the different words. Although, having said that, I know allot of men who would not be put off being told "She's trash".
Sparkle 5 months ago
I think it's because crazy is subjective to each person. Do all of us think people are crazy for Trump. I do but who knows about the person in front of you. However trash is not subjective. Plus it takes a lot to call someone trash.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 5 months ago
You have to draw the line somewhere.
Load More Replies... Nosirrow 5 months ago
Eh, not really. Women are toxic, too. My mother tried very hard to convince me all men are evil bc of her experience. I asked her to stop and my brother claims he did that as well. The result is I hate both sexes, but I hate women more. We are supposed to be kind, nurturing and emotionally intelligent, not toxic and vengeful.
Megalodon Meg 5 months ago
We aren't supposed to be a d**n thing but who tf we are, society put this women are kind and nurturing s**t out on us, I want to sip my tea over the smoldering remains of my enemies.
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Bartlet for world domination 5 months ago
'Trash' doesn't mean short, in the wrong career, or sensitive. It means trash.
Load More Replies... #8
This panda says ur worth it 4 months ago
I am the extrovert and my closest friends have been made this way
Load More Replies... Uncle Panda 5 months ago
You know, you could come to my monthly Introverts Anonymous Club. Nobody ever comes to my Introverts Anonymous Club meetings. I put out Lil Debbie's and everything!
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Me 5 months ago (edited)
Years ago when I (an introvert) was working retail, there was a new girl that was hired to be my assistant. New girl (extrovert) really liked my company and I remember her being wide eyed and super excited as she asked me, "can I keep you?!". We were great friends for a few years.
Not Today Tuesday 5 months ago
I think there must be 3 categories of introverts. Category 1: the above. Category 2: “an extrovert found them, liked them, thought they’d adopted the introvert, but like the cat distribution system, the category 2 introvert actually chose the extrovert and allowed the extrovert the delusion of thinking they’d adopted the introvert.” Category 3, you ask? Not sure yet, but it felt like there should be 3 categories.
Dawn Woolley 5 months ago
This is exactly how I now have one good friend, and through her a group of secondary friends. I have no other friends, although I do have a lovely extended family.
Lee Banks 5 months ago
I'm an introvert that feels the pain, so have made a point of being an adopter. There is a reason our trivia team is Isle of Misfit Toys and a bunch of awkward 20somethings call me mom.
Giraffe Sitter 5 months ago
That’s a great name for a team. I need to find my group of misfits.
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yellowphantom 5 months ago
Some of my closest friends were due to my extroverted younger sister introducing them to me.
#9
Mel in Georgia 5 months ago
I don't care how much money I have, I hate wasting food. Why go out? We have leftovers I took the time to cook! My husband is hard to convince, sometimes.
Jenna Kay 5 months ago
My husband hates leftovers, but my dogs are big fans!!
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Verena 5 months ago
I hate food wasted, especially meat and fish. If an animal died for food, it has to be eaten. Which turns out to be frugal, too, because lots of meat is sold at a seriozs discount on the last day, and I have a huge freezer. I am a bit more tolerant towards plant based leftovers, because they are a brilliant compost and fertilizer for the next generation. Lots of farmers are frugal here, too. They do a second round after the machines, or allow people to do so. Which sometimes have hilarious results.... a farmer friend asked me if I would like some carrots, her father had done a second round on a field he had rented out. "I left them at your door!". Righttttt.... it was a huge horse feed bag full with fresh carrots. I forgot that she has 9 siblings, "some carrots" are an entirely different dimension in a family of 11 pkus some farm hands. The horses and I had vitamines for weeks.
Eugenia 🇮🇹🤌 5 months ago
But remember that cooks, waiters, and people who work in food catering also have families and kids who need food, clothes, housing, school. When I feel virtuous because I eat at home I think there's a kid somewhere who prays that people go to mom/dad place to have a meal
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
Been doing online groceries since 2020, averaging about £40 because clickety click. Had a day off the other day and thought probably cheaper if I go to the actual store which will also save delivery fees. £75 later!!!! Yeah, back to online it is.
Verena 5 months ago
Try farmers stalls or not-fancy in-barn stores. Direct deal between producer and consumer and a lot fresher. Once a month a 30 min drive into the country plus a freezer do help, IF you have transportation and the farmers farm food.
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Unsurprisingly, there are plenty of psychological benefits of having lots of humor in your day as well. Laughing can reduce stress hormones and help us relax. Meanwhile, when we’re happy from hearing a funny joke, we’re more likely to focus on the positives around us. Once you’re in a good mood, you want to make it last for as long as possible!
#10
April Pickett 5 months ago
I would highly suggest you make your vacations 2 weeks. You don't rest with 1 week. You need to settle down (2days), 3 days to enjoy your vacation, and 2 days to get ready to go back to work. 2 weeks will give you plenty of time (7 whole days) to enjoy yourself.
Nina Eckhoff 5 months ago
Welcome to the club. I always thought I liked working. Then I retired during COVID. Work is over-rated and retirement is boss.
#11
HistoryNerd 5 months ago
Or she has bad boundaries, like me, felt pressured to forgive you in the moment, then reconsidered when she had some space
That tired person 5 months ago
PERIOD!!! Mothers are always (well, mostly) right
Load More Replies... Marsha Hultberg 5 months ago
Social media BITES! This site is entertaining, useful, brings joy, laughter, is educational AND is the only one I subscribe to. BADDA BING. *Lost communication with family because I refused to use Facebook waaay back when... SMH (I'm with the aliens comment, keep movin'. LOL)
Dr Jimmy 03 5 months ago
I do not accept decisions coming from anyone who's name is not on the Marriage License or Certificate. When my Spouse come to me with a decision? We're probably going that way.
#12
One surprising benefit of being exposed to hilarious comedy is the fact that it can even improve your memory. A 2021 study concluded that when humor is paired with an informative fact, audiences are more likely to retain that information. Now I’m just wondering why my teachers in school didn’t know this information; I could have remembered everything if my lessons were delivered with a bit of stand-up comedy!
#13
Auntriarch 5 months ago
When my urologist suggested lemon juice to help prevent further kidney stones, and I said brightly "so, margaritas then?" And his smile said 'I am going to pretend I'm absolutely certain that you are joking'
Ren Karlej 5 months ago
Probably because he was aghast at the thought of making margaritas with lemons instead of limes!! 😉
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#14
PhaseWitFact 5 months ago
Depends on if you get one that's an independent human or a man-baby. If he expects you to do everything for him then he's a man-baby, so you ditch that. If he can take care of himself and is fun to be around then he's an independent human so keep him if you like him.
Nikole 5 months ago
It’s more than that. “Oh, you don’t want to order from this place and we’ll compromise on pizza because I don’t want Burger King, which you get for yourself three days a week?” “Oh, you don’t want to watch this show? Yeah I’ll go in the bedroom and watch it on the small TV because otherwise you’ll pitch a fit and then angrily watch what you want in the bedroom.” “Oh you finished (foodstuff) that wasn’t yours and I was counting on being there?” I’ve been in many relationships, and the number of entitles babies is staggering.
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detective miller's hat 5 months ago
I've been enjoying being single and living alone for so long that the idea of sharing my space and free time with someone else is kind of horrifying.
Jane Hower 5 months ago
That's why I treat me men friends (all younger, btw) like grandchildren!! I play with them, then send them home. :)
AmyBcat 5 months ago
...find out you like the cat, happy with the cat, and... that's that
Load More Replies... #15
Verena 5 months ago
In fact, this does make me happy. It means I and my pets have a comfortable place to live, we are healthy and our bellies are full. Everything above that is nice to have, but not necessary for happiness.
Next, let’s discuss the social benefits of humor. It’s no secret that if you’re a funny person, others will be drawn to you, and you’ll never have a problem making friends. Laughing with others can be a bonding experience, and it brings people closer together. Whether you’re hanging out with a lifelong friend or going on a first date, sharing some laughs can go a long way in strengthening your relationship.
#16
Cougar Allen 5 months ago (edited)
I'm not asking for love, just a little sympathy ... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9XcdDnZiQ1k
#17
Nikole 5 months ago (edited)
I had the weirdest one the other day. It was pictures of some wounds (mine), my cats, and me looking pensive and tired, set to music of course. I just started laughing.
Hobby Hopper 5 months ago
Mine would probably be of various cereal options I sent to my wife.
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KnightOwl86 5 months ago
Had to turn mine of a few days ago. It wouldn't stop showing memories of my bf and his dog, my partner died 18 months ago, just 3 weeks after our dog 😢
S Bow 5 months ago
Oh how painful, you have all my sympathy. Here's an internet hug 🫂
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MaggieMay85 5 months ago
Oh gosh, I just did it too. Memories of past pets are the hardest.
Load More Replies... nottheactualphoto 5 months ago
My phone doesn't do "memories." Is this an iphone thing? Facebook?
#18
Jill Rhodry 5 months ago (edited)
what is pet rent - oh hang, be this is the US and they have to pay extra to have a kitty or puppy - what about fish, do you have to pay pet rent for fish Added: - what about kids - they can do so much more damage than pets - do you guys pay kid rent too
Cynthia Christie 5 months ago
They probably can't complain if they get cockroaches or they'll pay pet rent for those.
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Jessica Daus-Warner 5 months ago
Kids do so much more damage than animals, but no one charges extra for them. Shame.
Colleen Glim 5 months ago
Another downvote? Have an upvote to fix it. Methinks there’s a troll among us
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Kristiina Männiste 5 months ago
I thought it was the option to rent a pet for yourself. Like when someone promises to take the dog for a walk each day you can rent a dog and find out if they really follow up.
Ren Karlej 5 months ago
As a company that does 'between let' clean up and repairs, I can assure you it's children who do the most damage!!
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Now, it's important to read the room before telling a joke. But incorporating humor into tense or slightly stressful situations can sometimes be appropriate and even beneficial. It’s difficult to keep fighting with your partner if they’ve just cracked a hilarious joke, and easing the tension can help you clear your mind and focus on the actual issue at hand.
#19
Auntriarch 5 months ago
I'd wake up and think it was fine, and not realise it wasn't until getting into work. Dry shampoo in the drawer at the office...
Jill Rhodry 5 months ago
Isn't that what dry shampoo/corn starch/cocoa powder and ponytails are for?
Vicki Perizzolo 2 months ago
Amen to that -- traveled across the country knowing every single minute I should have washed my hair the night before... and then the humidity in TN hit... dang!
#20
Nikole 5 months ago
I find it so amazing and admirable that he’s always managed to uphold the dignity and class of the office he holds. /SSSSSSSSSSSSS
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Dorothy Smith 5 months ago
OMG.. couldn't believe he said that on TV!! Disgusting coming from a world leader. Just not acceptable!
Dr Jimmy 03 5 months ago
Oh, how I love reading H**merk and the "F" word popping up in the same entry. Did I mention, "F**k H@#mark? Based in Kansas City, Mo. just to be sure.
#21
The Darkest Timeline 5 months ago
In a savings account? There are banks where you can get 3-4% right now. Not as good as putting your money other places but you won’t risk losing the seen corn of that’s a concern.
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If you’re looking for ways to add more comedy into your own life, meme pages like Circle of Idiots can be a great place to start. But you can also find stand-up comedy shows in your city to attend, watch hilarious shows on Netflix, follow comedians on social media and make an effort to hang out with some of your funniest friends. It might take a bit of effort at first, but once you get giggling, you’ll never want to stop!
#22
nottheactualphoto 5 months ago
One good thing about having our liquor stores run by the state government: my credit card statement shows booze purchases as "government services."
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Lesley Relph 5 months ago
My supermarket where I do the majority of my food shopping does this with their loyalty card. The product I buy the most are big 'sharing' bags of crisps (UK based, so 'chips' to USA readers) - salt and pepper flavoured...
Debby Keir 5 months ago
erm, it's called a 'statement' and you can work it out all by yourself.....
Lee Gilliland 5 months ago
This is why I don't use Spotify. I have enough nagging without training machines to do it.
les 5 months ago
wild idea but why do the bank need to know what you buy? all i want them to do is transfer money, not rate my damm purchases. this is why cash is best,
Nerys Hopcyn 5 months ago
Monzo does this! and you can choose if it's kind of presented as a roast 🤣
#23
Mel in Georgia 5 months ago
In my bedroom I need my pillows to be right, the temperature to be right, the room to be dark, the sheets to be smooth, the noise machine on ... yet I can conk out in a lit room with a throw pillow and blanket on my couch so easily. Why? lol
Beak Hookage 5 months ago
I guess because it's BED, where you're EXPECTED to sleep, you just get performance anxiety? I'm pretty sure that's my problem, along with regular anxiety.
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Brian Droste 5 months ago
If I do that, then when I go to bed I can not fall ssleep and it takes me awhile to fall asleep.l
Karen Menard 5 months ago
We had six kids. My Dad worked hard 18 hours a day. In the summer on Saturday Mom would take us all to the beach so Dad could take a nap. We would come home 3 hours later and Dad would be standing there "I didn't have 6 kids to sleep in silence!" He couldn't nap in silence. He needed 6 very active kids on the 2nd and 3rd floors of a rental house who were not allowed to run at anytime so we learned how to terrorize each other in place.
#24
Chilli 5 months ago
Clean as it cooks. After you pop it on to cook -unless you need to monitor it- pack everything away, pop the dishes in the sink/washer and wipe down the counters
Hilary Gilbertson 5 months ago
Not much of a packer or popper. More of a collapser into an armchair as it cooks.
Load More Replies...We hope you’re enjoying these relatable memes from Circle of Idiots, pandas. Keep upvoting all of your favorites, and don’t forget to pass some humor along to your loved ones. Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda list featuring this popular Instagram account, look no further than right here!
#25
goldoche 5 months ago
I'm the kind of girlfriend who has a girlfriend, and we both eat fries anywhere but in the car.
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Toasted Applesauce 5 months ago
I'm both. One for you, one for me, one for you, two for me.. This is actually how i feed him while he's driving
Kathy Brooke 5 months ago
I'm driving. The fries are on the passenger seat and I'm feeding myself while I drive. A man would get in the way.
Forrest Hobbs 5 months ago
I'm a man (and married). Somehow, I feel more comfortable with Kate. 🤣
Sparkle 5 months ago (edited)
My sister borrowed my car and ate McDonald's in it. Left the trash in my car and my steering wheel greasy! Can you tell that made me mad oh and left my tank almost empty when I filled it up for her! Okay done venting.
Nicole Weymann 5 months ago
They're family, gotta love 'em! It's somewhere in the terms and agreements, I'm sure.
Load More Replies... #26
Auntriarch 5 months ago
I retired in April, and my former colleagues are going out for dinner next month, they've invited me ❤️
martymcmatrix 5 months ago
Sounds like you were still working, just without all the hassle...🤷🏽 🤭 👋🏽
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Lee Banks 5 months ago (edited)
When I was a 16 year old hostess, our 40 rastafarian chef, 70 bartender Judy, and 30something queer af FOH manager would all get off shift and have a drink watching Disney movies to get through the night. Edit was my glasses were dirty, and I didn't see it autocorrected things poorly.
Marsha Hultberg 5 months ago
But they do have an expiration date, unless you retire together. LOL There is NO obligation, (although the feeling there is), to continue them when no longer working together. If you do, they fizzle out awkwardly. .
SchadenFreudian Psychology 5 months ago
When I (straight woman) was 56, my work bestie was a 30 y.o. gay man.
The Darkest Timeline 5 months ago
Everyone should decide for themselves how involved they want to be with colleagues and boundaries should be respected.
Load More Replies... Vicki Perizzolo 2 months ago
my work bffs were all young enough to be my kids... best kids ever.
#27
Auntriarch 5 months ago
The first time my dad phoned me at my office he asked to speak to me 😂
Biana Weatherford 5 months ago
My daughter said that to me, in front of the person I was being polite to.
OneHappyPuppy 5 months ago
Yeah, I was once mistaken for an AI bot over the phone. Couldn't convince the bugger either until I started laughing hysterically
Jenna Kay 5 months ago
My voice was used as a recording for weekend hours at a mental health facility ... so sometimes I guess I AM a bot!
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#28
Auntriarch 5 months ago
I am cooler now than I was in school. But really that wasn't difficult.
#29
Mike F 5 months ago (edited)
Sounds like my friend group from back in the day! Except that one guy who always wore a white suit cowboy hat. Yeah Don, I remember you!
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Bored Trash Panda 4 months ago
I wear mainly black, and grey. I do have a few things that have some darker colors on them, like a summer dress with red flowers, but it's mostly black and grey. And I live in the freaking Nevada Desert... it was 105 yesterday....
Lene 5 months ago
I love that my Crown The Beast -band tshirt is black and has the logo and pentagram in pink. I didn't see it in the dark when I bought it (thought it was red) so I woke up next morning and yelled "WTF IS THIS!?!?" and for a sec I wondered where I could return it. Lol. But now I just love it. 😄
#30
Lee Gilliland 5 months ago
I still don't understand why it's not a "clear liquid".
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KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
Walking up a flight of stairs burns 9 calories. A cigarette burns about 27. Just saying.
Colleen Glim 5 months ago
But walking up stairs doesn’t contain a ton of chemicals and make you smell like an ashtray
Load More Replies... #31
nottheactualphoto 5 months ago
Thank you for reminding me. I need to make a batch of negronis.
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The Majestic Opossum 5 months ago
Yeah, but I'm not drinking sugary c**p all day, so I still consider this a win haha
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
Coffee now counts as hydration as the caffeine does not actually suck all the water from your body.
#32
Beak Hookage 5 months ago
Oh yeah. Some of the questions I've been asked by little kids just took my breath away. 🤣
Nina Eckhoff 5 months ago
A kindergartner once said to me "Those pants are not flattering."
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The Bearded Viking 5 months ago (edited)
I used to hear teenage girls (as I was growing up) and then women later on, say the "Yeah, he's good looking, actually he's pretty hot looking in the face...shame about the body" all the frickin' time! Used to p!ss me right off. I heard it for almost a decade. Then, I met someone who blew me away and it turned out they liked me too. I found that out when we were set up on our first date by a mutual friend three weeks later. That was 28 years ago, and she's still a pain in my a*s LOL,..and she still blows me away. When you meet the right one, NOTHING will matter, to either you or them. Just enjoy life and let the complicated cräp take care of itself 👍🏻
SchadenFreudian Psychology 5 months ago
Tell them, “That’s what happens when you work a full-time job.”
#33
RomanceRadish 5 months ago
It's not easy! What REALLY floors me is how people care for children as part of their job, then care for their own children evenings/ weekends. That would be absolutely exhausting, even for someone who enjoys kids.
detective miller's hat 5 months ago
Taking care of other people's kids (nanny) was actually what made me realise I absolutely do not want children ever.
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Ann Kapoxeet 5 months ago
Yes, which is why I can't volunteer on weekends to do Girl Scouts or PTA events, etc. I need a break from groups of children! What ends up happening to work/life balance is that something has to give. For me, I just can't clean as much as I would like. Some people can afford a house cleaner.
Jill Rhodry 5 months ago
I did it, and these days I just don't know how I did - somewhere, somehow life got more and more exhausting - and it's not just age
The Majestic Opossum 5 months ago
You can have 2 out of the 3. I worked and the kids are still alive, the dishes will just have to wait until I'm either unemployed or the kids grow up and move out. Sorry, I didn't make the rules 🤷🏽♀️
BrownEyedGrrl 5 months ago
Try working full time, raising 3 kids, and going to school. It's hard, but doable.
#34
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
Well, here's the manual, and here's the shortcuts and templates I have created.
#35
#36
AuntKaren12 5 months ago
Every time an Amazon package is delivered to my work - my friend says "Couldn't sleep last night, Karen?" They are not all mine! LOL
BrunoVI 5 months ago
Tell her: "Watch it, Sis, or you'll find out why they call me 'Karen.'" Should strike terror in the hearts of most people.
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Greenkitty 5 months ago
I order from anyplace other than Amazon. Bezos has no need of my money.
AmyBcat 5 months ago
Nope. Too scary. Have to keep it in a hatbox in the back of the walk-in closet. Way back.
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Vicki Perizzolo 2 months ago
when you feel this - watch Buy Now on Netflix - it's a whole new perspective on the algorhythms that make us do that.. .and it's very, very scary
Hilary Gilbertson 5 months ago
I find that pretty, patterned beach shoes usually fit the bill really well.
#37
Khavrinen 5 months ago
Women were telling me "Not if you were the last man on Earth" long before I put on the weight. And lost much of my hair.
Karen Menard 5 months ago
Overweight and bald are not what they were worried about, kiddo.
Load More Replies... Uncle Panda 5 months ago
They always show the enabler in the background of those stories. "I don't know where he gets all that food." Pshaw.
Cathleen Cummings 5 months ago
Let's get real... their standards are all pretty low! (on both sides)
Debby Keir 5 months ago
But the partner *has to be * an enabler, in order for them to get so f*t whilst never moving from the couch.
Schmebulock 5 months ago
They are just keeping a spare meal around in case they get desperate.
Apatheist Account2 5 months ago
Reminds me of the old joke: "Do you realise that there's 20 pounds of you that I'm not legally married to?" (Apologies for the grammar, it's not my joke).
Nicole Weymann 5 months ago
Reminds me of "I lost 80 kilo" - "Congrats! I didn't know you were on a diet" - "I'm not. I finally got rid of George"
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Tussilago 5 months ago
Studies and statistics disagree on that one. Obseity is a major disadvantage to getting a spouse (nd 600 lb will shorten your life)
Charles McChristy 5 months ago
Studies and statistics realize that this is a joke.
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#38
#39
Kristiina Männiste 5 months ago
Oh I have a most effective solution! In august go to my backyard where we keep chickens, pick up an overripe, slightly dirty plum from the ground and eat it on the spot. I lost 5 kgs in 5 days that way and was basically just laying around😂 Most effective diet ever!
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
#notallsubstances... for instance "a friend" gets hungry and eats while on the "breakfast"... 414 (RIP) had a little kitchen upstairs and served food. Many people were shocked at the sight of me, I mean them, eating a cheese toastie at 4am because hungry from dancing.
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София Харитонова 5 months ago
" I wish you would tell me your secret. To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." (с) "The Picture Of Dorian Gray". This joke is literally 135 years old and Mr. Wilde told it better.
#40
Beak Hookage 5 months ago
I have no job yet I still can't sleep as much as I'd like. Probably because I'm too stressed out about being unemployed with no money.
JK 5 months ago
You aren't alone.Keep at it. After about 3 years of working for a temp agency as a contracted admin assistant it finally happened. Full time with great benefits and very good group of colleagues.
Load More Replies... April Pickett 5 months ago
I'm retired, so I can focus on sleeping all I want. Hang in there, and in 30 years, you too will be able to explore your passion.
#41
Bored Botanist 5 months ago
USA, so probably getting proof of insurance information needed for ride to the hospital.
Cara Vinson 5 months ago
“I won’t be back from lunch break, I’ve fractured my spine.” “No, I’m thinking I won’t be in tomorrow” “No i can’t find someone to cover my shift, I have spinal fluid leaking from my nose.”
#42
#43
Auntriarch 5 months ago
Fact. When Mr Auntriarch goes out for milk and comes back with half a watermelon 😍
The Majestic Opossum 5 months ago
Yep, I love my husband most when he brings me tacos without asking, close 2nd is when he does the dishes and the laundry in the same day 😍
#44
Elwood Schwartz (it/that) 5 months ago
I'm a guy, and I don't get the gray sweatpants thing at all... Besides, Hobbes taught me a long time ago that "chicks dig jams." So that's what I wear.
Susie Elle 5 months ago
For women, gray sweatpants are like the least amount of clothing a man can wear while wearing clothing - it conceals surprisingly little heheh
Load More Replies... Karen Menard 5 months ago
Sweatpants = old new. Done and gone. Jams are today and the future! My Mom made us change from jams to play clothes right when we got up. I let my kids stay in jams all weekend if we have no plans. And after sheltering in place during Covid, now I know *I* was the right in my choices!
#45
Mel in Georgia 5 months ago
My SiL hosted a "healthy" Thanksgiving dinner for our family. She made a mashed potato substitute out of cauliflower. My dad took one bite and said, "What the h ell is this?" It was rude, but I sort of got it. Don't mess with mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving.
Nikole 5 months ago
Yeah, it’s once a year. Bring out the good/classic things. And my aunt needs to stop putting raisins in stuffing!!!
Load More Replies... Kristiina Männiste 5 months ago
I actually like riced cauliflower😅 But I live with mashed potato people... BTW have you tried mashed potatoes the Estonian style? Boiled potatoes are mashed with hot lard from fried salted (not smoked) bacon and hot milk, then chopped onions are added in. The creamy mixture is eaten with extra onion, fried bacon bits and gherkins.
#46
#47
Jill Rhodry 5 months ago
so the other person has to visit, call, and support you first - sounds a tad transactional
Andi 5 months ago
no, I think they mean make an effort to not be the one people call, visit etc. and put a bit in yourself. make an effort ...
Load More Replies... HistoryNerd 5 months ago
They're saying be in reciprocal relationships. Visit, call, etc. the people you know will do the same. They don't have to do it first, just didn't waste time on people who won't do it at all. Sometimes you only find that out after you make the first move.
Ipetmykitteh 5 months ago
A life rule I learned from a dear friend at a time I was needing it along these lines, “Don’t want noone who don’t want you”.
The Majestic Opossum 5 months ago
Some people due to depression, parenting, aging parents, crushing responsibilities etc. don't even have the mental space to visit or call, but they still deserve to be a part of our lives. I wish the world was more like the hundred acre wood where Eeyore was still loved, included, and supported.
Pirate Luxe 5 months ago
by this logic no one will ever be able to make the first "visit" .... it's like the ray Charles tune "thems that gots is thems that gets but how you get your first is still a mystery to me" ...
Jonas Fisher 5 months ago
If everyone lives by this, no one will visit or call or support anyone else.
#48
MeowZedong 5 months ago (edited)
Thank you for your contributions to the satanic panic. Also Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz. Also your book club has been a godsend. So many profound stories. I feel like I truly grew as a spiritual entity when you introduced me to the secret. JK hate you.
LollyLaLu 5 months ago
Unfortunatly you just NAILED IT & I do so agree with you.
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Kristiina Männiste 5 months ago
I hate loud sounds and crowds. I would rather run. But heck I would probably rather be gnawing off my foot than visit a music festival
#49
#50
#51
Chilli 5 months ago
unpopular opinion; sushi is kinda a*s, but I don't eat fish so maybe the fish ones are good
That tired person 5 months ago
I rly like sushi lol but what type of sushi did you taste that u didn't like so much?
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#53
Geoffrey Scott 5 months ago
"Man...2nd password attempt, shoulda wrote it down before I left..one more and I get to spend 10 minutes on the phone with IT"
#54
detective miller's hat 5 months ago
I spent most of my 20s working out like my life depended on it. I am so over it.
Uncle Panda 5 months ago
I'd discover 5 years of missing laundy on my quest to find the treadmill.
#55
Beak Hookage 5 months ago
My solution is living in a place where it doesn't get that cold. Uh, well and also I don't own a car so there's that.
AmyBcat 5 months ago
I would lovelovelove to live where I can, realistically, walk to the grocers,library, Chinese&Indian, river park. USA is made for cars, not people. Watch Roger Rabbit sometime. LA's freeway demise.
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UKGrandad 5 months ago (edited)
Throw a bowl of hot water on it. I can guarantee that the windscreen won't be iced over again tomorrow. EDIT: OK, hands-up the downvoting idiot who thought I was being serious 🙄
Mel in Georgia 5 months ago
I was raised in Ohio and now live in Georgia, US. This is a major reason I'm glad I made the move.
George Costanza 5 months ago
I got very used to a garage. There's no way I'm ever buying a house that doesn't have a garage for me and my wife. Not a chance I'm waking up earlier to scrape the windshield or shovel out the car.
#56
#57
#58
Apatheist Account2 5 months ago
*sees. Honestly, this apostrophe before every final "S" is becoming a reflex.
Debby Keir 5 months ago
Move somewhere else and then NOBODY will ever know you - it really works :-)
Sparkle 5 months ago
I have one grocery store Aldi to be precise I will go in looking awful. Nobody shops there. However Kroger I'm dressed. My friend laughs because I willingly wear high heels to the grocery.
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Schrödinger's Douchebag 5 months ago
Especially if it was meant to be signed for and just left at the front door!
#60
Alex Kennedy 5 months ago (edited)
Correct! People who haven’t had OCD don’t seem to know an intrusive thought is “my loved ones will all bleed to death for no reason because I looked at a sharp knife”.
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#62
#64
Uncle Panda 5 months ago
The 'man' in 'manifest' is from the same root as 'manual,' as in, you have to do something to manifest things. Attitude helps but work produces.
#65
Cheese 5 months ago
When she gives you updates on her day without you asking. (A bit gay myself so I needed it as well)
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Brian Droste 5 months ago
Majority of it disappears by the end of the month. Then it starts all over the next month.
Robert Beveridge 5 months ago
By the end of the month? I pay bills on the 1st, so it's gone by the 3rd
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Brian Droste 5 months ago (edited)
I can think about all the things I want to buy but it is not going to happen because I don't have the money.
Kristiina Männiste 5 months ago
If I have such thoughts I follow them up with imagining having to store these things somewhere and then having to clean around them. And then i decide against buying. I grew up with hoarder parents and I do not want to go down that road
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#70
Beak Hookage 5 months ago
Have fun being married off to your cousin to secure the alliance with France.
#72
That tired person 5 months ago
I KNOW IVE SEEN THEM BEFORE I've seen ten year olds walking away with a bottle of foundation. what the f**k are u gonna do with that??
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София Харитонова 5 months ago
Maybe he means it as a "Maid For A Minute", hinting at m*sturbation?..
Chilli 5 months ago
f**k that, g*****n, what shaving supplies did he use to shave that bit of his arm? It's so smooth
Debby Keir 5 months ago
AI has spoken *The term "minute maid" doesn't have a widely recognized slang meaning. It primarily refers to the Minute Maid brand of juice, known for its convenience and ease of preparation, particularly its orange juice concentrate. There is also an older, more obscure meaning referring to a "little maid" or a young, delicate female servant, but this is not a common usage. *
AmyBcat 5 months ago
Has nothing to do with gender, has to do with a lobotomy.
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#74
#75
#76
Chilli 5 months ago
not to be that guy and this is coming from a lady, but if the genders were reversed...
That tired person 5 months ago
this isn't even funny youve just got trust issues. maybe go fix them?
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