50 Funny Yet Helpful Pieces Of Advice That Might Become A Guiding Light For Any Tricky Situation

Vedette Aecus 2 years ago

Not if you're Southern

56points

Michelle Davis 2 years ago

Every Southerner knows exactly what that means.

23points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

The grandma probably did it :)

21points

Dawn C 2 years ago

well you can't say "drive like an old lady" anymore cuz these old ladies got lead feet now-a-days!!🤭🤭

17points

RenTinTin 2 years ago

For the south is fairly generic 🤣

11points

Alex Mosby 2 years ago

Not in the South.

8points

Zamein 2 years ago

But it does set the frame of mind to do the trip. Learn from their mistakes

4points

Book Worm Panda 2 years ago (edited)

Oh goodness, does Sarah Elizabeth have a sister? Ok anyways, for people such as AmouraAnika we'll want to press those three dots and then select 'spam' on the report. I would do it myself but one of you can give it a try.(Thankfully this worked last time and less people had to see her comment) Maybe even follow her so you can see and delete other of her comments!😃🫠 Thnx!

4points

BeBe Rhinehart 2 years ago

But ohhhh so true if you have a Southern Granny!💞

3points

Clay S. 2 years ago

But very true.

2points

Karen Kirkpatrick 2 years ago

you're not from the South, are you?

2points

Jeff Diamond 2 years ago

However, I think EVERYONE will know exactly how to drive on snow with that description.

1point

Melissa Hamed 2 years ago

It sounds really really specific but if you don't understand that at any moment any of those would ruin everything then you're driving too fast.

1point

Cheryl Lohr 2 years ago

And yet pretty accurate. Don't brake suddenly, no sudden jerks of the steering wheel, accelerate slowly.

1point

Courtney Christelle 2 years ago

And oddly correct.

1point

Brandi Delph 2 years ago

Accurate

1point

Rosecrucian Roeth 1 year ago

Yes, but very necessary.........

0points

Berry Muhl 2 years ago

Sweet tea and gravy do more traveling in back seats than do kids, in the south.

0points

Bisexual Axolotls 2 years ago

The Southern experience at it's finest

18points

Brigitte Walden 2 years ago

And she's had her hair 'done', so don't mess it up 😁

12points

NH9 2 years ago

That's the best driving advice ever

8points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

Does this come in a bumper sticker?

7points

Phyzzi 2 years ago

It would have to run the entire length of the bumper!

5points

Thegoodboi Premium 2 years ago

Well yeah that works

7points

Erik Ivan 2 years ago

That works.

6points

Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago

Charlotte NC. Not bad advice really. They don't get much snow there so every little bit of advice helps.

5points

SarahBee 2 years ago

Start slowing down WAY before you get to an intersection. Gently tap the brakes and release, brakes, release when slowing down. Slamming on your brakes is a very bad idea - the tires are just going to keep on sliding. Be really slow and careful with on and off ramps. Go into a lower gear when trying to go up a hill, or when going down a steep hill. A running start helps with going up hills too. If you're stuck in the snow, don't just spin your wheels - rock your car back and forth (forward/reverse/forward/reverse). I could write a book on winter driving!

3points

Shyla Bouche 2 years ago

The prison I was at is in one of the southern states. A sprinkling of snow, as in one layer of snowflakes on the ground, and we were all sent to our units and given sack lunches for several days, because so few of the staff were willing to drive in the snow.

3points

Mason Kronol 2 years ago

I drove through Georgia (USA) when it was snowing once. The state shut down. It wasn't even making the road wet but everyone was so excited and scared.

3points

JoJo Anisko 2 years ago

I saw the same thing in Seattle, 2-3 inches, city shut down. No plows, people stuck in 4-5" "drifts". Airport ran out of de-icer.

0points

#2

Me Irl

819points

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Rosecrucian Roeth 1 year ago

This is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....??

0points

#3

This Is Some Sound Life Advice

804points

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Thegoodboi Premium 2 years ago

Well, what had happen was...

174points

2CentSally 2 years ago

I fell on it...

62points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

. . . was . . .

29points

Loonie Toonie 2 years ago

Ate too many chicken nuggies

13points

matt hoop 2 years ago

You got to come up with a ninja story lol

1point

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

The paramedics and ER staff have heard it all anyway, so go ahead. I'm an MD and that's a joke obviously, please don't do what you just thought about doing.

29points

Michael Largey 2 years ago

Notonly have they alredy heardit, they're probaly the only ones capable of understanding/believing you anyway.

3points

Cat Chat 2 years ago

Speaking from a nurse's POV, when the nurse says walking will make things worse (after "falling" on that toy), it's best to listen and take the bus, not walk to the ER. Let's just say emergency surgery was required. 😉🙄

21points

Erik Ivan 2 years ago

How dis you got stabbed in the palm of your hand? Me: I was helping the wife with the cooking, and she asked why I didn't have my protective glove on. I said "nah, it's no worries" seconds before I stabbed a knife half way thru the hand. And yes. It really happened that way. I have a problem with the fine motorics in my dominant. So I got the 99' scar on the not dominant hand.

17points

NH9 2 years ago

I slipped and fell onto a * insert item *, a**s first

14points

Screaming Pumpkin guts 2 years ago

Knife 🔪 im sorry😂🤣

0points

Array Index Out of Bounds 2 years ago

I don't know HOW that gerbil got in there?!?

8points

Cami 2 years ago

I must've fallen on it in my sleep!

0points

WindySwede 2 years ago

4y51co.jpg

0points

MonicaChicagoGal 2 years ago

😆

0points

Nifemi 2 years ago

So I was just trying to see if I was immune to stabbing so…..

6points

Friend Lee 2 years ago

That’s how I raised my kids— how would this look in the emergency room or in front of Judge Judy.

5points

Duncan 2 years ago

One in a million shot doc, one in a million...

5points

Hilary Mol 2 years ago

Sometimes all they have to hear is "I have a little brother."

4points

#4

Strong Advice From The Pavement

744points

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Turd Ferguson 2 years ago

Well there go my chances

10points

Synlover Too 2 years ago

🤣🤣

0points

Steve Robert 2 years ago

Just stop using unsocial media

6points

Let’s Be Kind 2 years ago

If those who are still commenting about Trump would stop, get past him and get on with life, he would stop being continually famous. Keeping him at the front of our conversations, and those so quick to bring him up, keeps him famous.

5points

JackOfSpades 2 years ago

Sorry, heavily disagree. What he damn near did to our country needs to be revisited. Often. I don't want anyone to forget what that damn trash bag did, and came within figurative inches of accomplishing: over turning our free and fair election results, and over throwing the legal government of the United States of America. He didn't get a speeding ticket. He literally tried to destroy our country. Your God damn right it's/he's talked about a lot, because there's no way in hell we'll ever let it happen again.

6points

StankleBerry 2 years ago

Every influencer in existence

5points

Kat Pekin 2 years ago

Tell TikTok.

5points

Michael Largey 2 years ago (edited)

Smart people don't have time to be famous. They have stuff to do.

4points

JMC5003 2 years ago

Meh, not so sure about that. Barbara Jean was brilliant and there are lots of famous folks who have advanced degrees.

1point

The Original Bruno 2 years ago

I'd be happy to just quit electing them.

4points

Raelene Christie 2 years ago

Oh hell yeah! Just take a look at the government it's proof of devolution. Those that need the most help are the last to be helped. There are so many households where on partner is long term sometimes terminally ill, disabled and people with mental health problems and whose partners or children are their carers who are struggling to keep the heat and lights on and feed themselves. The use of food banks has gone up exponentially. I know this because I'm living it, tomorrow is my husband's ( who is my full time carer) birthday and we don't have anything to eat. And people wonder why the suicide rate has sky rocketed.Not looking for sympathy or hand outs, just telling it like it is!

2points

JMC5003 2 years ago

If you're in the US, I hear from others in the same boat, often several different people per day. Everyone thinks there's some magic safety net in the US, but it's nonexistent and getting worse every day. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this! It's hard enough to watch your life partner fade away (I've been there, done that), but adding hunger and the fear of homelessness is a cruelty that, IMO, is proof of how far this country has fallen. And to add insult to injury, in the US, we're propagandized from a young age to feel shame for needing support, when in truth, few make it through life without the need for help at some time or another. You are brave and strong, and what you're doing is the most important thing in the world. Don't let anyone shame you for needing some help.

1point

RiceRiceBaby 929 2 years ago

But McDonald's needs these people's names to come up with another ridiculous expensive meal idea.

2points

Aleah gugi 2 years ago

Like the cadri-b and offset meal 🤣🤣🤣

0points

Loonie Toonie 2 years ago

Never have wiser words been spoken.

2points

Jude Kay 2 years ago

Are you SURE you're a minor? (Per a previous post)

1point

#5

Parking Advice

738points

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Thegoodboi Premium 2 years ago

Love it. Passive aggressive and you get a nice turtle to color..

312points

SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago

Coworker of mine once got one that said, you could've at least left me a can opener to get my car out!

28points

CHAMPION 2 years ago

Same

1point

Maltaros 2 years ago

Oh no. That turtle is not nice. He's an enforcer for the turtle mafia.

0points

Rissi 2 years ago

I've carried these in my glove box for years. I honestly hope someone colored one in.

11points

Kat Pekin 2 years ago

I like turtles.

8points

mark glass Premium 2 years ago

Easy way to shell out constructive criticism.

6points

Jude Kay 2 years ago

In this day and age, people get REALLY MAD, and they carry weapons. Cute turtle but I wouldn't suggest it! 🐢

5points

Kayjunmoon 2 years ago

Crikey, where do you live?

9points

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago

I love turtles:)

3points

Klondike Penguin 2 years ago

I saw a TikTok video of a guy who puts coloring pictures like this on moron parker’s windshields. They also draw a box around the car using sidewalk chalk.

2points

Teresa Francis 2 years ago

🥰🥰🤣

2points

BackSeatSlut 2 years ago

Definitely gonna copy this and make some prints!

1point

Jack Harris 2 years ago

So hard. That's how much I love this.

1point

#6

Some Tree-Some Advice From A Tree!

735points

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Adam Zad 2 years ago

Don't forget to branch out!

17points

Joshua Miller 2 years ago

Let people with a certain sign nail you occasionally

8points

Cat Chat 2 years ago

Share your shade and space with others! 🌳 🪺

7points

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago

Thank you O Mighty and Majestic tree

4points

Kelsie Marx 2 years ago (edited)

I wanna know what beach this tree is on so I can go and visit it😎👍. The ocean in the back is calling my name🤠!!

3points

Joolee 2 years ago

Maybe in Fiji. Or Vanuatu.

0points

Mmm K 2 years ago

This is so wholesome 😊

3points

Teresa Francis 2 years ago

🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍❤❤❤

1point

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

'Lose all your hair im fall'

1point

Bored&InSchool 2 years ago (edited)

how about you leaf? quote from a friend; "also, if someone comes up with an axe, just stand there, it's best."

1point

Jude Kay 2 years ago

Um if they have an axe, I think it's "Run, Hide, Fight"!

1point

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

💚 This is actually good advice

1point

#7

Regular Everyday Advice

668points

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Haru 2 years ago

double it and give it to the next person

134points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

"Sir, are you wearing pants?"

26points

The Captain 2 years ago

I messed up those last 2. Can someone hold this knife while I go put on some pants?

32points

Synlover Too 2 years ago

🤣🤣

5points

Catlady6000 2 years ago

Sure. Just let me put down my knife

3points

Katrina M. Alecson 2 years ago

I gotchu

3points

Out of chocolate 2 years ago

Check… check… check…check… wait 🤔

20points

Arky Gamalan 2 years ago

What..! Stabbing people is wrong??

15points

Crazy Cookie 2 years ago

I can’t believe this!! I guess I’ll stop?

7points

Thegoodboi Premium 2 years ago

I'm only on drinking coffee. We'll see how the day goes...Pants? no pants.

13points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

It should read "Are you wearing the right pants?" Yes, last week I went to my dentist's appointment in brightly-colored pajama bottoms. I hope they thought it was meant as a fashion statement 😭

8points

Jasna Svast 2 years ago

Don't worry. Nowdays people wear anything. I think they didn't even notice it or if they did they cheered up because bright colors cheer up people. P.s. Except those grumpy cat people.

7points

Shyla Bouche 2 years ago

I am not wearing pants, neither is Bouche. I'm wearing a skirt, and Bouche is wearing her favorite fur coat.

7points

Lauora 2 years ago

Put hot coffee down before you check if you are wearing pants!

6points

Zophra 2 years ago

Stabbing came before wearing pants. Interesting order there.

3points

Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago

Less to explain when you get to jail?

4points

Evan not Hansen 2 years ago

* looks down and checks if I have pants on *

3points

#8

Weekend Safety Brief

667points

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Silvermidnight 2 years ago (edited)

*Establishes dominance*

206points

fair_weather_rose 2 years ago

*establishes dominance more dominantly*

48points

Jocie (they/them) 2 years ago

*establishes dominance even more dominantly*

27points

The Captain 2 years ago

*Establishes confusion, steals dominance while everyone is distracted*

25points

Savannah Finn 2 years ago

you can consider my timbers shivered

15points

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago (edited)

I love these responses… :O a reveal of just exactly how much crazy us BP are holding in

10points

Currentlylost 2 years ago

1. Establish dominance 2. End up in jail 3. Subtract from the population 4. End up in the newspaper 5. Add to the population which takes me to the hospital

5points

one-arm-crab 2 years ago

*T-POSES, FLOATS INTO THE SKY, EYES START GLOWING* BOW DOWN MORTALS AS THE GLOBE STARTS TURNING.....the entire f##kn universe...calm down dude

5points

Fishbone 2 years ago (edited)

*Establishes dominance by revealing my plans to write a 2,000 page long story about every single character I've ever created even the cringey ones while in jail, ad that if you don't let me have dominance, I will read it page for page with NO BREAKS!* Note: If you have to go while I'm reading the story, you have to pee in your pants.

5points

magix (they/them) 2 years ago

*T-Poses to assert dominance*

4points

RagDollLali 2 years ago

WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST READ 😂😂😂

2points

Noosh 2 years ago

*quickly*

1point

Rosecrucian Roeth 1 year ago

"Quickly" noted..................

0points

SaneMinotaur (she/her) 2 years ago (edited)

Hormones/ pheromones making the air so thick that I can hardly breathe.

0points

Michael Travis Risner 2 years ago

Subtract from

28points

Daniel Atkins 2 years ago

Subtract to sound like they are reciting math problems to them.

2points

Bi Frog 2 years ago (edited)

I won't be adding to the population, swear. I think most of my generation is pretty set on not having kids, and praise the almighty potato for that. Maybe I will adopt, though. I feel the same about pets, would much rather adopt than buy from a breeder.

18points

beethebi 2 years ago

surprisingly most people my age that i know want kids, i don't, if i do want them i will adopt

6points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Does it even itself out when I subtract then add to the population?

15points

Frogspawn 2 years ago

I assume it depends on how many of your eggs hatch, it's possible you'd have to subtract more just to be even 🤔 you know what they say, don't count your chick's till they hatch.

7points

Hilary Mol 2 years ago

Don't subtract "to" the population? "Write an apology note to either your elementary school Math or junior high school English teacher."

13points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

That is the exact same advice my father gave me as a teenager.

5points

Clay S. 2 years ago

What is going on in the 22nd infantry?

2points

cookie_cat 2 years ago

good thing i don't even know how to do any of that, especially adding to the population

1point

Heather G 2 years ago

This is the long weekend safety briefing given to many active duty enlisted. Considering they're often dealing with dumb(ish) college age people, it's perfect. You definitely remember it.

1point

Tyler 2 years ago

* t-poses to establish dominance *

0points

#9

Helpful Advice

640points

POST

RandomHumanBean 2 years ago

u know those doors where theres one set of doors, walk a few feet, another set of doors? yeah. so um... i pulled the first ones open, walked, and tried to push the doors. it was very embarrasing

8points

Jude Kay 2 years ago

Those two sets of doors are usually in places where it snows!

0points

Paul C. 2 years ago

School-for...cfd35.jpeg

6points

Thegoodboi Premium 2 years ago

*headbutts door*

6points

xolitaire 2 years ago

Oh ok. Next plan was to lift from the bottom

3points

Bonesko 2 years ago

Anyone that works in customer service knows no one will read the sign anyway haha

2points

Rosie Red 2 years ago

Hahaha love this!

1point

Teresa Francis 2 years ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🥰

1point

Stro Bro 2 years ago

*jumps through the glass*

1point

Rosecrucian Roeth 1 year ago

Sorry, I'm on Google Maps :(

0points

backatya 2 years ago

actually we're Closed

0points

#10

Yunosuke Is Wise Beyong His Years

624points

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Stardust she/her 2 years ago

Garbage can’t

110points

Pheonixvatoreii 2 years ago

Garbage won't

24points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

Trash can't

9points

Bonesko 2 years ago

Garbage, yes you can!

4points

Astrius 2 years ago

Trash on the floor

1point

Israel Martinez 2 years ago

Yeah, that's how I've always known it ...

0points

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago (edited)

Or cannot. Why does it have to be contracted?

0points

WindySwede 2 years ago

*"Garbage cannon"

0points

Irish woman abroad 2 years ago

Why is nobody questioning the word "beyond"?? I feel like I'm chewing gum just trying to say it! 🤦

9points

Irish woman abroad 2 years ago

Argh, bloody autocorrect changed "beyong" and BOP

5points

Jude Kay 2 years ago

YUNO, he's right!

5points

Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago

Suke what you want, he's a bright guy.

2points

Kathy Mathews 2 years ago

I actually think this is pretty entertaining. It's better than, "Joey, you're the wind beneath my wings" or "Yo Bros! It's time to partaaaay!" Could go on and on.....

4points

Jude Kay 2 years ago

"I'll never forget the night with D.S., L.W., P.A. (twice), and Mr. Fletcher.

1point

ThePalm52 2 years ago

There is no try. Just garbage do or garbage do not.

2points

BackSeatSlut 2 years ago

I would gladly join his dojo

2points

Pandora18 2 years ago

I though it was "garbage will always fail so they should give up trying"

1point

Rosecrucian Roeth 1 year ago

Why would you consider yourself trash?

0points

the shrimp whisperer 2 years ago

im like a trash can full of diamonds. cant feed the raccoons but everyone will go "wow that trashcan is full of diamonds haha artsy cool" but that's not what a trashcan is for

0points

Mickie Shea 2 years ago

Yes, Yunosuke has it right.

0points

#11

The Nurse, During My Annual Wellness Check, Suggested At My Age I Should Have A Bar In The Shower. So I Took Her Advice

623points

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Steve Robert 2 years ago

Just make sure the glasses are plastic and the bottom enclosed so you don't end up with a tub full of sharp glass

12points

Chumbo 2 years ago

Good point, those glasses with the open bottom are great but just not well-suited for shower drinking

2points

Erik Ivan 2 years ago

Sound advice! Although you also need a baby bottle instead of a glass. So the wine don't get watered down since it's a shower, not a bath tub.

8points

Zophra 2 years ago

Well-played!

4points

Sans Serif 2 years ago

Yes indeed! I so completely misunderstood when installing mine!

4points

Array Index Out of Bounds 2 years ago

I noticed two glasses, so....

4points

Kathi Davis 2 years ago

Executed in a fantastic way!

3points

Wondering Alice 2 years ago

Ridiculous! For anyone needing to know, a nice big coffee mug is by far the better choice for bath time wine. I'm not totally sure about shower time wine, but plastic bottle with staw perhaps?

3points

BackSeatSlut 2 years ago

Just be careful to use the correct bottle or else you’ll come out of the shower looking like Carrie lol

1point

Janiece Teichmann 2 years ago

Love!!! So many wonderful people here with a sense of humor. Hope for the world.

1point

RiceRiceBaby 929 2 years ago

A few of those and you'll need the actual bar suggested.

1point

Jude Kay 2 years ago

Use plastic glasses.

1point

#12

Our Local Pizza Place Gives Excellent Advice

617points

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Thegoodboi Premium 2 years ago

Come here snake pizza, get in mah belly!

18points

Nifemi 2 years ago

Pizza noodle

11points

lili 2 years ago

Square cuts on round pizzas make me cringe

8points

Sans Serif 2 years ago

"Chicago-cut (square cut) pizza unites crust lovers and crust haters!"

6points

Ozymandias73 2 years ago

That image and thought of pizza being "slurped" makes me shudder.

3points

LapCat 2 years ago

Like a fruit roll-up!

3points

Rahim Carlock 2 years ago

A spiral, the basic construct of the universe. absorb it.

2points

PrettyJoyBird 2 years ago

Pizza rolls in a fruit-by-the-foot snack style. 90s reference to USA candy treat.

1point

My O My 2 years ago

Gotta try that snake cut... Anyone wanna join? I'm ordering pizza

1point

Katrina M. Alecson 2 years ago

The small group pizza makes me upset

1point

Lucy Cope 2 years ago

Kinda sus

1point

#13

Advice For Beginner Yogaists

580points

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Jk 2 years ago

Instructions unclear. Removed pants, and am now stuck in a bin.

156points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago (edited)

No, no, no! You're supposed to throw the pants away and walk back home! *also gets stuck in bin*

25points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

Put your pants back on, otherwise you'll be stuck in jail, bro

15points

Vic 2 years ago

Stuck in a place with your pants down? Now you wait for your step-[insert relationship name] to walk in and "help" you get unstuck.

5points

Cheryl Lohr 2 years ago

I don't care where you are stuck or that you don't have your pants on as long as you picked up your dog c**p.

1point

BasedWang12.7 2 years ago

wait...... we're supposed to wear pants?

1point

Baali Venomax 2 years ago

LOL

0points

Headless Roach 2 years ago

Why are your pants down anyway? Do you like flashing in the park?

0points

Catlady6000 2 years ago

Did you fall?

0points

Cat Chat 2 years ago

I've always loved the joke about aliens mistaking dogs as the dominant species after watching humans following them and picking up their 🐕💩

16points

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago (edited)

We do make that mistake when we first got here… but now we are certain DOGS ARE THE DOMINANT SPECIES :)

3points

Vennyx!! She/they 2 years ago

This is what dog parks should put up

5points

cookie_cat 2 years ago

lol

2points

Nifemi 2 years ago

Also known as the dog to bin position 😂

2points

Lizzy the ironic frog 2 years ago

I don’t get these. Why put something that disappears quickly and is good for the environment in a plastic bag that will take hundreds of years to dissolve?

1point

Seaweed Vibes 2 years ago

People in my block of flats need to learn this

0points

Janice Sanz 2 years ago

Perfect!

0points

Mickie Shea 2 years ago

LoL again

0points

eMpTy 2 years ago

I first read that as "dagwood dog" which a whole new meaning to this one.

0points

#14

Solid Life Advice From The Local Museum

559points

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Jack Harris 2 years ago

GLORY-ious advice for a HOLE in one

11points

Jk 2 years ago

What if I find one of these in a church?

8points

Hobby Hopper 2 years ago

Especially not then.

13points

Steve Robert 2 years ago

Well there goes my sex life

6points

Wonderful 2 years ago

Well you can bring a flash light, but if she opens her mouth and you see light, I suggest you run away.

0points

Passerby 2 years ago

Well, if you put your hand in, you are doing it wrong anyway. It is supposed to be the other part of your body.

4points

Isa Reyes 2 years ago

*shoves foot inside the hole"

5points

Der Kommissar 2 years ago

3 man glory hole. kinky

4points

ConstantlyJon 2 years ago

what a glorious bunch of holes.

4points

pineapple87 2 years ago

And this is why I refrain from putting my hand in any holes even in a museum.

2points

Subrata Pradhan 2 years ago

Museum holes are rewarding.

2points

No Name 2 years ago

Specifically, they reward you with germs and stickiness that take multiple hand washings to remove.

0points

Kona 2 years ago

Looks like the sign at the museum near my house :P

2points

Josh Dorsett 2 years ago

Curiosity may have KO'd the cat but I'm stronger than a cat

1point

#15

The Best Advice You'll Ever Get This Winter

547points

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Steve Robert 2 years ago

🎶 Don't you go where the huskies go and don't you eat that yellow snow 🎶 Frank Zappa

14points

Jude Kay 2 years ago

They didn't have dog parks when Frank was alive.

1point

Umm...what? 2 years ago

or a snowman. Oh look! Pieces of coal for his eyes!

6points

Nifemi 2 years ago

Doggy angels 👼

3points

Jude Kay 2 years ago (edited)

You can't get the dogs to bend their legs right.

3points

Cat Chat 2 years ago

But, shouldn't the patrons have practiced yoga before the snowfall (as per previous list entry)?

3points

cookie_cat 2 years ago

couldn't agree more. unless u wanna roll around in dog sh*t

2points

Blackheart 2 years ago

Or cow pasture

1point

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago

Snow cream either.

1point

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago

There went my plans

1point

Blur Davis 2 years ago

Hmm. What if they want to spread themselves around lemon snowcones and the sausage pits?

1point

Lucy Cope 2 years ago

Hey that’s Vince the sign guy! There was a post on him a bit ago

1point

Jude Kay 2 years ago

I heard he re-signed.

3points

#16

Found This In My Backpack After A Very Tough Few Weeks, Great Advice

531points

POST

Xenon 2 years ago (edited)

Some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug.

18points

Nonesuch 2 years ago

Mary Chapin Carpenter

4points

SlothyK8 2 years ago

My husband has this exact same paper weight, except his says "If you're not the lead dog, the view never changes."

13points

A B C the Third 2 years ago

Over here, they say (translated, obviously) "sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the tree"

4points

Stephanie Did It 2 years ago

Sometimes it's chicken and sometimes it's feathers.

3points

Blackheart 2 years ago

"Sometimes you're the windshield. Sometimes you're the bug." -Mary Chapin Carpenter

2points

Synlover Too 2 years ago

Sometimes you get the bear. Sometimes the bear gets YOU.

2points

imgonaarickrollyousohard 2 years ago

In Soviet Russia bear (always) get you

1point

Linda Bravo 2 years ago

Or sometimes you’re the windshield and sometimes you’re the bug

1point

Stolas 2 years ago

i am never the pigeon

1point

Jude Kay 2 years ago

If someone breaks the law, you can be the pigeon!

0points

Roy Faria 2 years ago

Some days I don't know if I'm the windshield or the bug.

0points

Pamelot 2 years ago

Perfect advice for life.💗

0points

#17

Go To Sleep

511points

POST

Betta Fish 2 years ago

Oka-ZZZZZZ

96points

Cal the dragon (she/her) 2 years ago

*Insomniac non sleep*

2points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

I'm waaaaay ahead of you *snores*

2points

ℙ𝕦𝕣𝕣.𝕞𝕒𝕚𝕕 2 years ago (edited)

That's good enough for me. G'nite y'all. G'nite John Boy.

1point

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago

Finally! Some good advice I’d actually take.

1point

Astrius 2 years ago

Best inspirational quote i have ever seen

1point

Nifemi 2 years ago

No I won’t until they offer me a better promo for sleep 😴

1point

Mickie Shea 2 years ago

Total agreement, foe within our dreams we may flourish.

0points

Matt Sinden 2 years ago

Me crying unable to resume the dream i was in the midfle of when i woke up.

0points

A. Starhawk Hunt 2 years ago

Yeppers. Very. Right now when the set my schedule, it was a late and I loved it. Now, I gotta be there at 11….right. Sigh

0points

any rei 2 years ago

I wish I could

0points

#18

Some Good Advice I Found In A Bathroom

503points

POST

ConstantlyJon 2 years ago

there was a chalkboard in your bathroom? I guess that’s one way to combat graffiti

18points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

If someone had invented time travel in the future we'd already know about it. So there won't ever be time travel 🫤

6points

Karen Grace 2 years ago

If they follow the rules set out in the sci fi books then no one would know.

4points

Bradford B 2 years ago

Not true. Expose your logic, please.

0points

Jude Kay 2 years ago (edited)

Ivy always been confused by time travel movies. NOW I'll be thinking about THAT!

0points

Remala555 2 years ago

they have died lol

6points

Neuridivergent 2 years ago

It is hours before Hitler's conception. Hitler's mom is trying decide if she is going to call no sex for headache. What is your vote?

5points

Jude Kay 2 years ago

Definite no. Wait, does she have a fast acting, fatal STD?

3points

David 2 years ago

It just means it wasn't a bad decision that affected the time travelers in the future. Doesn't mean you personally don't win a Darwin Award.

3points

SPARKIZE 2 years ago

Seems legit

3points

Blackheart 2 years ago

What if...what if that's because they're all dead?

2points

LivNLearn 2 years ago

S**t. Now I’ll be thinking about THAT all night.

1point

taipan_juice 2 years ago

The good advice is always from the bathrooms ✌️

1point

Terra Raizor 2 years ago

Bad enough we never develops time travel

0points

Terra Raizor 2 years ago

Bathroom?

0points

#19

Good Advice From This San Diego Pier

480points

POST

Janine B. 2 years ago

That's exactly how my ex found out why a snapping turtle is called a snapping turtle.

12points

Jude Kay 2 years ago

Their LOOKS should have given it away! Some prehistoric looking creatures!

5points

DebB 2 years ago

That pelican looks like a bastard

5points

Jude Kay 2 years ago

Not politically correct! And it isn't legal for pelicans to be married yet!

3points

nicole 2 years ago (edited)

As someone who lives in northern San Diego, I can confirm this sign to be factual :)

3points

A Nelson 2 years ago

Love the side eye he's giving us!

3points

Cat Chat 2 years ago

Should read "We bite people, stupid!"

3points

Thegoodboi Premium 2 years ago

The judgement is strong in this one

3points

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)

The look on the pelican’s face tells me they’re the source of the advice—-and are just itching for you to test them on it.

2points

Disguise Doge. 2 years ago

Does that mean I am a wild brown pelican??

2points

Littlemiss Premium 2 years ago

Quite possibly you and me both

0points

Vennyx!! She/they 2 years ago

I happened to be at the top of my class. Therefore, I shall take you home and feed you.

1point

Teresa Francis 2 years ago

🤣🤣🤣🥰

1point

#20

Solid Life Advice

472points

POST

Betta Fish 2 years ago

*reconsiders life choices* *starts twerking like never before* "OMG IT WORKS"

154points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago (edited)

*tries it* *twerks vigorously* I'm a pro!

27points

Auntriarch 2 years ago

Fish are naturally good at twerking

8points

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago

What? Where does it say "life choices"? Just don't twerk, fools.

0points

Hilary Mol 2 years ago

If only there had been signs like this during the Macarena craze.

9points

cookie_cat 2 years ago

reconsider twerking?? absolutely Y E S.

8points

Dickvandyke 2 years ago

Yes. Please. For the love of all humanity

4points

Subrata Pradhan 2 years ago

but Beyonce said 'put a ring on it'

2points

Teresa Francis 2 years ago

🤣🤣😍

1point

SaneMinotaur (she/her) 2 years ago

Minotaurs are naturally adept at twerking, but that's mostly the INsane ones, so I know better than to twerk amongst the humans.

0points

Joolee 2 years ago

Unless you're a dog. Dogs twerking are very funny and cute.

0points

Rahim Carlock 2 years ago

I really don't mind. Just do it in private.

0points

MonicaChicagoGal 2 years ago

I've tried can't do it to save my life!

0points

Kyndra Murphy 2 years ago

I think all twerkers beginners or not are all dweebs. It's unattractive for one. All it is is 20 lbs or more just a flapping up and down. I'm surprised no one gets hurt during this.

-3points

Jude Kay 2 years ago

Yeah, 20 or a LOTTTT more! A LOTTTTTT more.

-3points

#21

The Washing Instructions For My New Pillowcase

469points

POST

Stardust she/her 2 years ago

They? Who’s they? Now I’m even more afraid

115points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

Duolingo?! Is that you?! *bloodcurdling scream*

40points

Jude Kay 2 years ago

The Chinese "weather balloons".

11points

Janine B. 2 years ago

Call Mulder and Scully!

8points

Remala555 2 years ago

ITS THE CLOWNS FROM #49 RUN

4points

James Peters 2 years ago

If you don't know then the message is not for you

3points

Ozymandias73 2 years ago

"They" who knows that you cut the tags off of your pillows. THEM they!

2points

Baali Venomax 2 years ago

Obviously a zombie movie fan

1point

ERIN W. 2 years ago

ZOMBUES! ,😳

1point

dab 2 years ago

China

1point

Beeswax 2 years ago

Couldnt be me 😈

1point

Ron H. 2 years ago

Must be a MyPillow product

7points

Jude Kay 2 years ago

My pillow is made in the US and it is seriously the best pillow I've ever used!

2points

ConstantlyJon 2 years ago

Is that what all those alien symbols on the bottom mean???

7points

Esme Weatherwax 2 years ago

1st get into a bucket of water 2nd aim for the centre bullseye 3rd don't pick up heavy things and 4th don't triangle

5points

Angi 2 years ago

I saw a shirt that had washing instructions as give it to your wife or girlfriend they know what to do.

3points

Claire Kaplan 2 years ago

Well that's just sexist! I'm female and completely clueless about laundry.

2points

Cat Chat 2 years ago

Does it come with a tin foil hat?

3points

Telepathetic 2 years ago

If "They" are coming... It's best to LEAVE so "They" don't Find You

2points

ThePalm52 2 years ago

Some translator in China is laughing his a*s off.

2points

Anne Roberts 2 years ago

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

2points

Ruby 2 years ago

They you for confirming and validating all of my anxieties.

1point

Kris “ADHD_Carrier” Dudoich 2 years ago

They're coming to take me away haha!

1point

Kioh81 Premium 2 years ago

I sang this too. Haha

0points

#22

Advice Probably Worth Taking

466points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Not a problem for women for once

53points

Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago

It could be... especially if you're using non-applicator tampons.

93points

Xandra 2 years ago

Depends how thin the toilet paper is...

53points

Panda-Moan-I-Ummm.... 2 years ago

This is absolutely a problem for women WTF

34points

M J 2 years ago

Not woman. Still, I adamantly disagree.

15points

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago

You think so? Give it a whirl and let us know if you still think so. If you don’t have any hot sauce, you can use Biofreeze as a substitute. Different temperature, similar effect.

9points

Jon Mock 2 years ago

How stupid can you be?

7points

Kate Jones 2 years ago

If you're trying to pull out a tampon it could be, lol.

3points

Sassawrasse 2 years ago

You touch the tp, the tp touches you... learned from experience. Yowza!

3points

MellonCollie 2 years ago

Depends on what they need to do in the bathroom ...

3points

Marley_79 2 years ago

Oh but it is if they don't wash their hands properly...

3points

Bonnie Edwards 2 years ago

Sir. Women touch their soft bits when they goto the bathroom, not just men. I once rubbed my eyes after unknowingly touching capacin essence. Oh pain.

2points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

Ok, ladies... If you don't want to wash your hands, remember not to touch your face/eyes. Just sayin.

1point

Rose Sakkara Blacke 2 years ago

some women masturbate in the bathroom...just saying

0points

Marianne Nielsen 2 years ago

You are so wrong...

0points

theflyingcicero 2 years ago

Because women tend to wash their hands.

0points

Sam Adel.A 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

John Anderson 2 years ago

Yes. And, always take out your contacts before making hot suace with Habaneros

10points

CrazyCatLady 2 years ago

Happened to my dad once apparently lol

2points

N Miller 2 years ago

As well as after. Please

8points

Arky Gamalan 2 years ago

Hah..too late.. been there.. done that

3points

Auntriarch 2 years ago

And don't pick your nose

2points

Blackheart 2 years ago

Don't rub your nose or your eye either.

1point

memyselfandI 2 years ago

Lesson learned: don’t eat spicy.

1point

BG 2 years ago

You guys ever started an Icy Hot Menthol backrub that led to something more, then was ABRUPTLY HALTED by the "fire down below"?

1point

RiceRiceBaby 929 2 years ago

And avoid oral!

1point

Berry Muhl 2 years ago

Should have an (and after) in there, though.

0points

#23

Valentine's Day Advice

466points

POST

chaos 2 years ago

this would absolutely complete my valentines day

157points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

Happy Valentines Day, my friend. (Gives throne made of bones and lets you become the ruler of the underworld)

17points

Ruby 2 years ago

And a ring made from the blood of 600 enemies

3points

Loonie Toonie 2 years ago

I have plenty of enemies and.. too many people are too scared of me to date me.. ;')

2points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Bones are so uncomfortable, I prefer the cured hides of my enemies. And feathers of course

14points

Gwen 2 years ago

You can always use those for the cushions!

0points

Zophra 2 years ago

or dark chocolate... yes, that would also work just as well.

6points

Bi Frog 2 years ago

Or, y'know, how about a blanket that looks like a pizza? I'd like that

6points

Jude Kay 2 years ago

I got my granddaughter one that looks like a burrito!

2points

Holly Benedict 2 years ago

After tragically loosing my bf of 10 years this is where my standards will be set to now. Ofc he would expect no less.

4points

Jude Kay 2 years ago

I'm sorry.

0points

Natalie H 2 years ago

AND some chocolate.

4points

Eliana Frank 2 years ago

when your girlfriend is a cat

2points

Arky Gamalan 2 years ago

Dont forget the dragon

2points

cookie_cat 2 years ago

YAAAAAAAAASS!!

1point

Omnisexual bean 2 years ago

Can I also drown more enemies on a pool of blood from my other enemies?

1point

#24

A Box Of Presents Just Arrived From Home

Instead of a card I got this wonderful piece of advice from my mother, in the form of an embroidered pillow (which she made herself...I love my mom).

cvkxhz Report

455points

POST

Steve Robert 2 years ago

Mom really knows best

12points

Neuridivergent 2 years ago

I miss Red.

8points

Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago

I was gonna ask if his mom was Red Foreman.

5points

Lynne Walker 2 years ago

Counted cross stitch...wasn't done in a week. Well done, mom!

6points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Be a smartąss instead

6points

Bradford B 2 years ago

Hey, I resemble that remark; come from a long line of 'em.

0points

meowi.anne 2 years ago

You sure it wasn't from Red Foreman?

5points

Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago

From Red Foreman's Etsy page. (That 70's Show reference)

5points

Hilary Mol 2 years ago

I love your mom, too.

4points

Shifty McFlea 2 years ago

Extremely talented mom! And great advice too

2points

Jude Kay 2 years ago

She bought it at a garage sale.

0points

Blackheart 2 years ago

Solid advice.

1point

weatherwitch 2 years ago

I love profanity embroidery 😂 I've done a few bits myself but nothing like this awesome cushion 😍

1point

#25

Solid Advice

448points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Why should I ignore this part? What secrets does it hold?

135points

Admiral Graf Spee 2 years ago (edited)

The meaning of life

17points

Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago

Didn't give instructions for turning the page. Reader will never get past page 1

12points

Nicole Weymann 2 years ago

Anyone know the title/author? (Damn my curiosity. I don't give a flying fig about the private life of people around me, but this drives me to distraction 😂😫)

7points

Andrew Kornfeld 2 years ago

This is a Book by the comedian Demetri Martin

7points

Adam Robbins 2 years ago

Don’t forget to turn the page when you reach the bottom

4points

funkybluegirl 2 years ago

What's up with (what looks like) the cheeto fingerprint? That upsets me so much, to see in a book. :/

4points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

I . . . am confused . . . am . . . I supposed to read or not read this?

4points

Shyla Bouche 2 years ago

I see book, I must nap on it.

2points

Tammilee Truitt 2 years ago

Sounds like Kurt Vonnegut to me

1point

Vennyx!! She/they 2 years ago

Solid advice.

1point

John Anderson 2 years ago

I love reading through an engineering document and coming to a page with "This page intentionally left Blank" on it

1point

#26

Great Advice. Thanks Wegmans

446points

POST

Stardust she/her 2 years ago

🐧

111points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

*waddle waddle* Wap wap (penguin noises)

17points

fair_weather_rose 2 years ago

🐧 🐧

10points

Mr. Potato cat 2 years ago

🐧

7points

RafCo (he/him/ele) 2 years ago

Slides across parking lot on my belly

5points

Natalie Bohrteller 2 years ago

Actually that advice is good. When you walk like a penguin, you move your center of mass which will most likely prevent you from slipping.

19points

lili 2 years ago

Exactly this!

6points

Melissa 2 years ago

A heard a news weather person give this penguin advice and it works. Every time it's icy out I tell my son, "walk like a penguin"

1point

FlatEarf 2 years ago

Actually it's about friction and weight instead of center of gravity, your center of gravity stays relatively unchanged as your walking. It is center of gravity not center of mass because mass is unchanging as you walk. Mass is amount of space something takes up. When walking your putting your weight on a foot and heel each step, without the friction we are used to your foot slips and your weight shifts backwards as your let goes up and your foot on the ground with no friction also slides out from under you. Magic killer ice and friction. Stay safe happy days

1point

Alexandra Nara 2 years ago

Now I want a winterversion of the song walk like an egyptian (Bangles)

12points

Colin 2 years ago

Thank heavens I wasn't the only one who had that song pop in their head

3points

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago

🎶walk like a penguin🎶

5points

porgsarecool 2 years ago

and he waddled away

5points

LJ Robinson 2 years ago

...into the artic evening thinking "My walddle brings all the 'guins to the yard".

2points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

I'm always walking like that! Being a feathered dino and all...

5points

suzemagoo 2 years ago

Suddenly hearing this advice to the Bangles tune.

4points

Peppy 2 years ago

This was the bangles follow up to walk like an Egyptian

2points

Rob Williams 2 years ago

Actually, this is true! Scottish NHS trusts are recommending to walk like a penguin on ice. Google it if you don't believe me!

1point

Paul C. 2 years ago

Susanna Hoffs, doesn't say walk like a Penguin.

1point

#27

I Gave This Advice To My Niece At Her Bridal Shower Tonight

445points

POST

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

EIther avoid Uncle Mike 100/100 or stay with Uncle Mike 100/100

142points

Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago

As an Uncle Mike I can state that the above is sound advice.

31points

Ruby 2 years ago

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Either way you'll being seeing a lot of Uncle Mike

5points

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago

Ladies, take heed. Do NOT date, or worse, marry Uncle Mike. In fact, just stay away from him completely. Don’t even let anyone introduce him to you. Keep a restraining order handy, in case he can’t stop coming around you. Note to his family: Time to have Uncle Mike locked away—-far far away—-forever.

1point

ADHD McChick 2 years ago

And never make Uncle Mike angry!!

0points

Steve Robert 2 years ago

In case you wanted to know what happened to the family exes

11points

Synlover Too 2 years ago

🤣🤣

3points

Nifemi 2 years ago

Uncle Mike 🙂

8points

Loonie Toonie 2 years ago

Glad I'm not the only one who knows how to remove the evidence! (I watch too many shows and listen to too many podcasts about serial killerd. I also know about a bunch of forensic stuff ;)

6points

Bi Frog 2 years ago

Sound like MY uncle Mike tbh. He's pretty cool

6points

Dawn C 2 years ago

my uncle Mike only knows how to eat candy.......trade-sies?? 🤭

5points

Synlover Too 2 years ago

🤣🤣🤣

2points

Melissa Brown 2 years ago

...Great!

5points

Haru 2 years ago

So do I:)

5points

Amour Doctrina 2 years ago

My Twins always told thier friends, "My Mom was in Afghanistan". Nuff said ....

3points

Teresa Francis 2 years ago

🤣🤣🤣🥰🥰🥰

3points

#28

Never Take Diet Advice From The Local Chinese

433points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

If only it were true... I'd stay at home all day stuffing my face

116points

Janine B. 2 years ago

Just do it quickly and don't turn the lights on. Then your body won't notice.

10points

RafCo (he/him/ele) 2 years ago (edited)

No, the trick is to eat empty calories. Empty means zero, so even if you eat like four whole cakes, that's 20000 empty calories, and 20000 * 0 = 0. So you're good. Trust me, it works (RafCo statements are for entertainment purposes only. RafCo and RafCo subsidiaries take no responsibility for the consequences of complying with or believing the statements made by RafCo or its subsidiaries. Please eat cake responsibly)

4points

Praea Kitten 2 years ago

This is totally true!! It's the sugar you gotta watch out for still, diabeetus sucks

3points

James Peters 2 years ago

Oh my God, yes! Oooo, a private booth is a yummy restaurant would be heaven!

1point

WindySwede 2 years ago

But now I have to face my stuffing.. (talking about myself)

1point

My O My 2 years ago

I do that. Can confirm that the fortune cookie is wrong

0points

No Clue 2 years ago

I already do that. Just if only it were true. 😕

0points

SabbeRubbish 2 years ago

It said eating, not stuffing ;-)

0points

Karen Clark 2 years ago

This is actually true, and absolutely supported by scientific data!

10points

Zophra 2 years ago

Trust me. This is a lie.

6points

Stolas 2 years ago

lollll my mom was JUST telling me i eat way too much. i just have to hide from her

4points

Meep-Meep 2 years ago

Don't listen to your mom. Stuff like that can turn into EDs

1point

Melissa K 2 years ago

I often tell people there's no calories in birthday cake but there's totally the same amount of calories as regular cake. 😬

3points

Lucy Cope 2 years ago

*nom nom nom*

3points

Andrea Careless 2 years ago

It’s true! Also, if it’s small your body won’t notice, so no calories.

2points

Eledore Massis 2 years ago

Nice cookie, now order a pint of Chinese beer and see if a pizza joint will deliver at the Chinese restaurant.. No one will believe you ate pizza in the Chinese place, but beer is nice and cheap..

2points

Linda Bravo 2 years ago

Ok, it’s the bear in the woods kind of deal

2points

ShimmyShimmyChaCha 2 years ago

Yet somehow my cholesterol always finds out...

2points

#29

Surprisingly Good Advice

426points

POST

Stardust she/her 2 years ago

“Hey y’all, watch this. I’m going to eat cereal”

65points

Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago

No! Against the rules!!

20points

Michael Smith 2 years ago

“Hey y’all, watch this. I'm going to use the tube properly."

9points

mira thepickle 2 years ago

hey y'all watch this, i'm gonna breathe

8points

Ruby 2 years ago

"Hey y'all watch this. This is how you correctly put on a lifejacket."

6points

magix (they/them) 2 years ago

"Hey, y'all, watch this! I'm gonna cry myself to sleep! AHAHAHAehhhhhhhhHHH (gross sniffling sounds)"

5points

Natasha 2 years ago

Hey y’all watch this, I’m going to drink some water!

5points

whalien 2 years ago

NO DON'T- oh...oh my god...ohhhhh...

3points

alicedaquokka 2 years ago

Prepare to face... THE GREAT DUOLINGO

2points

James Peters 2 years ago

On a tube?

2points

Electra Smith 2 years ago

*gasp!*

1point

SabbeRubbish 2 years ago

Said no one ever

1point

Ur_mother 2 years ago

Me precedes to put poison in it

1point

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago

On a tube? 'Cause that's the only time they are concerned.

0points

Steve Robert 2 years ago

Or " Hold my beer"

11points

tweeve 2 years ago

Nope, you can start with "Hold my Beer" that isn't against the rules.

5points

Adam Zad 2 years ago

So... starting with "hold my beer" is perfectly acceptable.

7points

My O My 2 years ago

What kind of tube are we talking about? All I can think of is a bladder catheter

2points

Emsy 2 years ago

Tube rental ? What kind of tube ? What does it do? Why rules ? WHOS TUBE IS IT !

2points

David 2 years ago

Old man me is going "RHEEEEE!" at $15/hr for a tube rental. We used to get huge used tubes from the tractor tire shop and they'd charge like a buck or two.

2points

JMC5003 2 years ago (edited)

When we lived on the water when the kids were growing up, we used to go to the shop that put tires on my husband's huge construction truck and get inner tubes from tractor trailers for cheap. Damn, that was eons ago! Good memories. And, yes, most trips to the hospital were preceded by, "hey, look at me!" or some other version thereof.

1point

MasterProcrastinator 2 years ago

Hey y'all, watch this. I'm going to live my life.

2points

Dixon Hannon 2 years ago

That's ok, hold my beer will suffice.

2points

Randy Klefbeck 2 years ago

If you are on the west coast you are not allowed to do anything that starts with; "YO Dude, watch THIS!"

1point

Blackheart 2 years ago

Well just keep your damn tube then!

1point

#30

My Hometown Gas Station Giving Advice To Kids For The 4th

425points

POST

Haru 2 years ago

Totally doesn't sound dangerous

80points

Sans Serif 2 years ago

Just what... could go wrong?

9points

Ruby 2 years ago

sounds fun

4points

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago

You do understand sarcasm, right?

0points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

..... Hold my beer

18points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

*hands the fireworks to my toddler* Yep, totally safe

9points

Panaeolus Dream 2 years ago

Sounds like every 4th celebration I've ever been to.....

8points

Teresa Francis 2 years ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

4points

cookie_cat 2 years ago

i'd rather have the kid do it...

4points

Nifemi 2 years ago

Until one enters through my window 🪟

3points

Cat Chat 2 years ago

Seems legit 🙄

3points

MonicaChicagoGal 2 years ago

Hold my martini..

2points

Blackheart 2 years ago

Adults who have been drinking all day in the sun...

1point

#31

My Beer Can Has Some Good Advice

423points

POST

Adam Zad 2 years ago

Is it "for f**k sake," "for f**k's sake," or "for f***s' sake"? It's for a work email, so it should be correct.

9points

Vic 2 years ago

Since it is for work, I would be extra professional and write "for the sake of the f**k"..

5points

Wednesday 2 years ago

it is, in fact, 'for fvck's sake' - it is for the sake of the fvck., therefore belonging to the fvck, therefore apostrophe required to indicate ownership to the fvck.

0points

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago (edited)

It's definitely not the first one, because it isn't possessive. Also, who says it has to be written any particular way?

0points

Lars Bouw 2 years ago

For 🦊 sake

1point

Hilary Mol 2 years ago

So, made in Germany and sold in the UK?

1point

pamela nichols 2 years ago

Passionate advice!

0points

Palo Sulek 2 years ago

Alcohol in fact improves driving ability...in your mind...and your mind leaves the cockpit of your car and that is the main issue

0points

#32

Got Married On Friday And My 11 Year Old Niece Left Me Great Advice!

416points

POST

Haru 2 years ago

she should have signed it "Layla the Great"

25points

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago

No, she isn't great, she's being great. You know, consistency? And sheesh, she's 11.

-1point

Trophy Husband 2 years ago

"Great Layla"

9points

Nifemi 2 years ago

Layla seems great ☺️

8points

What_the_actual_sloth? 2 years ago (edited)

On behalf of Laylas/Lailas/Leilas/Leylas everywhere, I thank you. (context: my name is Laila)

3points

Melissa Brown 2 years ago

Great!

3points

ThePalm52 2 years ago

Layla.... you got me on my knees.

2points

Lainey 2 years ago

I'm begging darling, please

1point

Dyson A Lopez-Eddy 2 years ago

great idea

1point

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago

So Layla, exactly whatcha tryin’ to say?

1point

Mav Mav 2 years ago

All Heil Great Layla.

1point

Karen Clark 2 years ago

Layla is great!

1point

taipan_juice 2 years ago

Layla has lived up to her expected standards of greatness

1point

#33

That's Good Advice. And Don't Try To Play With The Dinosaur

410points

POST

Hellsbunnies TV 2 years ago

A lot of people don't realise if you click on the dinosaur, you get to play a little offline dino-game. :)

8points

Spring Fisk 2 years ago

Yes! my niece stumbled upon it when she was like 4 and told her dad. It totally surprised all of us

1point

Taki Takanashi 2 years ago

Oh no, the internet is not real. Every website is not developed by humans, every comment is a bot. Now that I know what the real reality is I'm going to touch grass.

3points

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago

Me is da bot

2points

John Anderson 2 years ago

Ooo! Where can I download reality?

3points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Noooo, please DO play with the dinosaur! We're good boys and girls

3points

Just Jeff 2 years ago

I like that on the actual website you can press the spacebar and play a game with the dino. This needs a keyboard hooked up.

2points

Gary chattin 2 years ago

Love it. But who looks up from their phone and took this picture?

0points

CharliAnn Olney Premium 2 years ago

Reality! What a concept!

0points

Kimmie Klein Andrews 2 years ago

That's cute.

0points

ℙ𝕦𝕣𝕣.𝕞𝕒𝕚𝕕 2 years ago

It took me a long time before I discovered you could play that screen as a game.

0points

Grand Admiral Thrawn 2 years ago

Gross. Have an upvote.

0points

#34

Great Life Advice

401points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

GPS is my God and I'll stupidly follow it to the pit

79points

Alyza 2 years ago

the gps appreciates your loyalty, friend

13points

Angi 2 years ago

My moms gps led us down a road that just ended in a field.There were no signs, and the gps said the road continued.

10points

Synlover Too 2 years ago

Silly you! My GPS directed me to turn left in 500'. Problem was - there was no road there (was on a secondary highway in a semi-rural area). What WAS there was a ditch, a barbed wire fence, and a huge slough. The next closest left turn was just over a mile away.

4points

Sarah M 2 years ago

Michael Scott? Is that you?

3points

TalenaBr. 2 years ago

My GPS' name is Karen And She's Useless.. Gets us lost all the time.. Dammit Karen!

2points

Jude Laskowski 2 years ago

If you rent a car with gps in San Francisco, CA. plug in Chinatown, and you'll wind up on Twin Peaks. You have no idea how many lost tourists we have given directions to.

1point

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago

You mean the lake, Michael?

1point

Mav Mav 2 years ago

the arm pit??

1point

Baali Venomax 2 years ago

and in the pit too?

0points

amy hipps 2 years ago

Like the ladies that drove into the lake? 🤣

0points

Kitty 🥀 2 years ago

Or into a lake, amirite?

0points

FlatEarf 2 years ago

Makes one of us, I curse out my GPS like I know where I am going

0points

Savannah Newman 2 years ago

This is gonna get dark so fair warning. Worked at a boarding school in MT. Mother came to visit and took her son to an appointment in a town 2 hours away. Used gps on way back, apple maps I think it was. Led them down a logging road. Got stuck in snow. Searched for a couple days. Their remains were then found. Hypothermia. So sad. GPS is not reliable in rural areas.

12points

Tiffany Montgomery 2 years ago

There’s a girl in my city that drove across an iced over canal downtown and said GPS told her to go that way😂😂😂

6points

Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago

*walks into fence headfirst because nobody tells me what to do*

6points

Carlos 2 years ago

I immediately pictured that scene from the office where Michael turns into a lake because he was following the GPS lmao

6points

Synlover Too 2 years ago

🤣🤣 I just posted about a "could-have-been similar incident. I didn't turn. There was no road there.

2points

ThePalm52 2 years ago

I work in an art gallery across the street from a restaurant. Many people, following their GPS, have stepped in and said, "This doesn't look like a restaurant". And I say, "Nope, but cooking is an art".

3points

Stefan 2 years ago

GPS-~ Getting People Stuck

3points

Display_Name 2 years ago

"My GPS made me come this way!" No, Susan. You drive a 2015 Toyota Corolla not a Tesla.

1point

rumple slunkskin 2 years ago

Gps told me to drive into the Missouri river via a levy access road

1point

Seaweed Vibes 2 years ago

Google maps once wanted me to jump a fence into a primary school

0points

#35

If You See Someone Cry

387points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

That's strange advice 🤔

71points

Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago

They might get so angry at you that they forget what they were sad about

25points

Evan not Hansen 2 years ago

Do you think that because of your haircut?

13points

Hilary Mol 2 years ago

Unless it's outside of a hair salon. Then it's probably sage advice to not step foot inside that hair salon.

8points

Car Skin 2 years ago

That's mean but funny as

3points

Rosecrucian Roeth 1 year ago

Not in reality:)

0points

Josie Bisbano 2 years ago

Hilarious thought, but mean practice.

15points

funkybluegirl 2 years ago

That's so mean!

8points

Dickvandyke 2 years ago

Still funny tho

10points

LapCat 2 years ago

Why is this something I see in a comedy movie

2points

Andrea Careless 2 years ago

If I’m laughing, ask if it’s because of your haircut.

2points

Duckbadger 2 years ago

Tried it, I’m in jail now

2points

Panda-Moan-I-Ummm.... 2 years ago

It may make them laugh

2points

Zorrrg 2 years ago

The title should be "If you see someone, cry"

1point

Robert Trebor 2 years ago

Gets then to thinking "What's wrong with my hair?" instead of what made them cy.

1point

ဗSailor Moonဗ 2 years ago

Yes, yes it is

1point

#36

Good Looking Out

376points

POST

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

Yes, that is a fart squirrel. It's a beautiful being, isn't it?

70points

Aik 2 years ago (edited)

Their smell is amazing as well

5points

The Other Guest 2 years ago

If your dog has a run-in with a fart squirrel, do NOT let them in the house even for a second. It takes WEEKS for the smell to go away. Also, tomato juice doesn't work, you want to mix 1 quart hydrogen peroxide with 1/4 cup baking soda and 1-2 teaspoons dishwashing liquid. Immediately slather it on the dog, rub it in (be careful around eyes, ears, and nose), and let sit for about 5 minutes before rinsing. Do not get the dog wet before putting the solution on them; water will make the smell worse. Signed, someone whose dogs have been sprayed three times (technically four, but two of those times were within 15 minutes of each other, by the same skunk who apparently *hadn't* left the yard yet)

8points

Mi So 2 years ago

Saw this on a recent rewatch of Mythbusters. This is the best way to remove the stink from any surface, animal, human, or inanimate. It worked better than specially designed commercial product. Also, they found it’s a lot harder to get a skunk to spray than you might think.

1point

Jack Harris 2 years ago

I prefer trash pandas to fart squirrel's

7points

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)

I understand that, once “defarted”, they make nice pets. Of course, I’d want proof of defarting first. Wish I could defart my husband. He’s not a squirrel, but…well, you know.

4points

Teresa Francis 2 years ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🥰🥰

4points

ConstantlyJon 2 years ago

well now I wanna know whose beautiful logo that is.

3points

ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago

Don't yell, don't scare, don't make jokes, don't look at the Fart Squirrels.

2points

Blackheart 2 years ago

And if you do, EVERYONE will know

1point

James Peters 2 years ago

That is no fart

1point

shermes 2 years ago

Lol. I got woken up to my husband saying, Guys, guys, stop fighting, to the 2 skunks fighting in our bedroom. They often come in the back door we leave ajar for our cat who won’t use the litter box and seek out any cat food crumbs they can find. We and the cats leave them alone and they leave us alone. They sure are cute. As long as we don’t scare them they won’t spray as that is their main defense and they will save it for a truly threatening situation, which we don’t create. Sometimes we get babies and they are the cutest. 99% of our friends and family think we’re nuts.

1point

#37

Solid Advice

370points

POST

Hilary Mol 2 years ago

**facepalm**

86points

Nick 2 years ago

I don’t get it?

4points

Steve Robert 2 years ago

Start by grabbing his balls

13points

Matt Sinden 2 years ago

Cant catch them, his juggling is better then mine.

0points

Dickvandyke 2 years ago

Are the insane? It could be a posse

5points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

HAAAA, clever

3points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

Instructions are unclear. What am I supposed to do after I walk toward the juggler?

3points

My O My 2 years ago

Tickle

1point

Sasy 2 years ago

comedy gold

1point

Barbra E. Nyberg 2 years ago

Good advice, he's the one with c**p to throw at you.

1point

Ozymandias73 2 years ago

Oh me oh mime that was punny.

1point

Rosecrucian Roeth 1 year ago

This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

0points

Mike Loux 2 years ago

Or the juggalo, if they are a posse of insane clowns.

0points

#38

That's Just Good Life Advice

363points

POST

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

*sits on crocodile* Who's gonne stop me?

65points

Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago

The crocodile, presumably XD

46points

That_jalapeno_floofball 2 years ago

Not me. I'll be walking away from the psychopath that sits on alligators.

11points

Red Wyvern Emperor 2 years ago

*crocodile proceeds to bite off your a*s* XD

9points

Catlady6000 2 years ago

Did you remember to say "Hey Ya'll, watch this"?

6points

BackSeatSlut 2 years ago

Not the TikToker filming you, he smells upvotes

4points

Littlefire097 2 years ago

crocodile eats you

4points

raisin hippo 2 years ago

Can I have the leftovers? Hippos are normally vegetarians but enjoy a good meal of human every once in a while

3points

BeBe Rhinehart 2 years ago

*chomp*....and you're done now.

3points

LivNLearn 2 years ago

Have you heard of oppositional defiant disorder? Don’t look it up. And don’t you dare ask for therapy.

2points

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago

The crocodile, most likely.

2points

Orbital 2 years ago

chomp

2points

Sam Adel.A 2 years ago

*The Crocodile twists and then takes a huge a** bite From your lower body*

2points

Tess 2 years ago

If you manage to stay sitting on the crocodile, you're probably safer than anyone else who's standing close to the crocodile.

1point

tragicaltales 2 years ago

CRONCH

1point

Hamlets twin 2 years ago

The others

1point

JoinMeZoe 2 years ago

I WILLLL 'THE CROCODILES!'

1point

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago

I'm pretty sure the crocodile is gonna stop you.

0points

Baali Venomax 2 years ago

*chomp* I'll take the other crocodile waddling up for five hundred, bob

0points

Melissa Powell 2 years ago

The crocodile?

0points

Joolee 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

SabbeRubbish 2 years ago

That's what we call natural selection :-)

0points

Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago

🐊

0points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

WHAT happened to make them have to make a sign like this?! In 3 different languages?!

8points

Magpie 2 years ago

I'm guessing a tourist was responsible for this sign being needed.

3points

Aélia Potter 2 years ago (edited)

Then i’ll sit on the alligator i guess

1point

Misha Writer 2 years ago

Several years ago, I was at the Okefenokee Swamp Park, and at that time (possibly still) there was a gator they called Harriet who tended to hang out where people would see her. This is a wild, in the wild, gator, right. She was sunbathing on the sidewalk, and some dumbass young parents plopped their barely old enough to walk child down beside Harriet to take a picture. Harriet didn't move, but seriously. Not a croc like this post, but still felt relevant. I have worked in child care and I have known parents to do stupid things, but putting your child down in front of a gator has to be one of the most reckless.

1point

Bolt Gundam510 2 years ago

🎶dumb ways to die🎶

1point

LivNLearn 2 years ago

So many dumb ways to die….

0points

Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago

I am sure an exception would have been made for Steve Irwin

1point

Zophra 2 years ago

Standing is still okay I guess.

1point

Arky Gamalan 2 years ago

This sign for stupid person or not?

1point

LivNLearn 2 years ago

Never underestimate the average level of stupid in any given segment of “the public”

0points

Mickie Shea 2 years ago

Thoughtful reminder

0points

Jude Laskowski 2 years ago

Never, ever.

0points

#39

Office Dating Advice

359points

POST

Remala555 2 years ago (edited)

hahahahaha i get it (in tennis, love means 0).

115points

Redpen88 2 years ago

L'oeuf. Tennis is a savage sport where they tell you your score is goose egg (actual translation is just 'egg'). L'oeuf is pronounced similar to 'love' and the English pronunciation became the common word used.

27points

Manny_Flawz 2 years ago

Isn't tennis just a racket ?

4points

The Original Bruno 2 years ago

The fact that they're always trying to smash your balls should be reason enough.

3points

Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc 2 years ago

My parents who played tennis when before having kids and who named me after a tennis player:

1point

Mr. Ping Pong 2 years ago

They always try to break ties too!

1point

Blur Davis 2 years ago

The "no sh@t sherlock" killed me 😅😅😅

1point

Potterhead 0-0 2 years ago

Wrong post?

1point

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

What's so bad about tennis players??

1point

Red Panda 2 years ago

Love means 0 in tennis

3points

Mike Loux 2 years ago

L'ove - the egg - zero

0points

Rylosalex 2 years ago

Took me a moment to get it

0points

#40

Oh Utah, You Have The Best Signs!

358points

POST

Jes.the.Mess 2 years ago

I'm a Utahn and can confirm we have the best highway signs and the absolute WORST drivers

126points

Cat Chat 2 years ago

Everyone here is just trying to make up time for all of the construction delays. Utah only has 2 seasons. Winter and Construction 🚧

15points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

Ma'am I see your Utah, and raise you a Florida.

6points

Chickens are fluffy 2 years ago

From Utah also, everyone goes at least 10 over and never uses turning signals

6points

Linda R 2 years ago

I'm an insurance claims liaison, and I saw an article last week that indeed stated Utah has the worst drivers. Ranked 1st in speeding, 2nd in violations, 5th in accidents, and 8th in DUI's. California was 2nd. I lived in Monticello for a few months many years ago, but it was so small, I didn't notice the the drivers.

5points

John Anderson 2 years ago

I have driven in all 48 of the continental US states. Its not just Utah

4points

Just Jeff 2 years ago

Fellow Utahn here. I literally just read in the news today that they are no longer posting humorous signs because the federal government asked us not to.

3points

Kona 2 years ago

Yess Utahns stick togetherr

3points

Average Chicago sports fan 2 years ago (edited)

Same here. I’m a Utahn myself and people don’t use the lanes correctly. Left for passing and right for going slow. I have seen some funny signs in UT before.

2points

Elizabeth Nelson 2 years ago

My parents moved to Utah. While visiting them, I noticed that most people there take red lights only as a suggestion to stop.

2points

Lesbiancats 2 years ago

Bad Utahn drivers unite!!!

2points

Jeff Diamond 2 years ago

Yay, Utah folk! We do have pretty good signs.

1point

ScaredyCat18 2 years ago

yep, that pretty much sums up Utah.

1point

DippityDooDerp 2 years ago

I've been to Utah. Can confirm Utah drivers are the WORST. Also note I've been to damn near every state.

1point

Hilary Mol 2 years ago

Have you ever been to Chicago or St. Louis? You've got some competition. Not saying you wouldn't win, but they'd be willing to match you AH move for AH move, I'd bet.

1point

Rosecrucian Roeth 1 year ago

I can't get my head around whether that is good or bad:)

0points

Jude Laskowski 2 years ago

Nope. The worst drivers are in San Francisco. All the time. Every day.

0points

Mike Loux 2 years ago

Texas would like a word...

0points

amy hipps 2 years ago

Sorry us in Washington topped the new national list.

0points

Joolee 2 years ago

Worst drivers? Ah you need to visit Australia and New Zealand.

0points

Kim Kermes 2 years ago

And when I last drove thru in the late 80s, the most badly designed freeway. We came back through Montana.

0points

RafCo (he/him/ele) 2 years ago

They can't be worst than Massachusetts drivers.

0points

Rusty shackleford 2 years ago

Must be the run off from phx drivers

0points

Klondike Penguin 2 years ago

Probably all women drivers. (joke)

0points

Rosie Red 2 years ago

Gotta disagree with you. I'm from BC and we should win an annual award for stupid and dangerous driving.

0points

Scott Laws 2 years ago

Amen

0points

The Other Other White Meat 2 years ago

I feel like... the worst drivers are actually from Florida. And sometimes Illinois.

0points

M J 2 years ago

Thanks! I wanted to know the Utah resident designation.

0points

Ron Russell 2 years ago

Worst drivers? You haven't bee!

0points

Janiece Teichmann 2 years ago

Saw best in a while in Tennessee." Drive hammered, get nailed" . Laughed all the way to Atlanta.

3points

Unpopular opinions 2 years ago

I hate these signs, just tell me how many minutes to the 101.

1point

F.O.H.P.R.G 2 years ago

Too true

0points

LivNLearn 2 years ago

Was in an interesting part of Milwaukee a few months ago- got passed at a red light on my right- they used the sidewalk- twice in three lights- different cars both times. So debate, yes, but it seems like they are contenders for the title, Utahans.

0points

ℙ𝕦𝕣𝕣.𝕞𝕒𝕚𝕕 2 years ago

I think stupid drivers are everywhere you go really.

0points

Isaac Harvey 2 years ago

I’m now tempted to travel the necessary 4800 miles just to view these in person.

0points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago

Fa la la la la, la la la la

0points

#41

Health Advice

357points

POST

Mr. Ping Pong 2 years ago

Meh. Simply ask "Hey, do you think we will survive when this elevator crashes?"

3points

Monday 2 years ago

I like "Does anyone know how to get a bloodstain out of an old rug?"

2points

V Noe 2 years ago

Then you just get a lot of office workers having heart attacks in the stairwell.

2points

MygrandsonscallmeNia 2 years ago

There's an elevator at my doctor's office, that Only fits 2 people. The stairs, are outside to his floor. It's kept locked, so people on the outside, can't get in. No one, Ever hears you knocking, or they just ignore it. I'm thinking, it's the latter of the two. I'm claustrophobic, and I despise that elevator. To make it worse, it's Really Old! Like 1940's old, it creaks and bangs, line it's going to break! I was riding in it on the 10th. I was terrified, the cable was going to snap, and plunge me down three floors to the basement. I was cursing the elevator, when it stopped, and opened on my floor. An elderly man, was standing there, and started laughing at me, because of it.

1point

Hilary Mol 2 years ago

What happens when you have to ask someone where the stairs are?

1point

Gary chattin 2 years ago

I like the elevator. When the doors shut just say, I've seen horror movies that started like this. Silence is way more fun then.

0points

Ur_mother 2 years ago

And proceed to have the whole hospital heat your conversations

0points

Manny_Flawz 2 years ago

Yes, please consider the stairs, they get lonely.

0points

#42

6th Grader Gives Surprisingly Deep Advice To Next Years 6th Grader

351points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

I'm at the final stage of lameness by now

70points

just me 2 years ago

But as you get even older things that seemed lame before are now enjoyable.

8points

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago

Yes, we've reading your comments, so we're right there with you.

0points

LA Murphy 2 years ago

When you spend most of your time and energy on avoiding everything because you know it will be lame.

0points

Natalie H 2 years ago

This child is a prodigy

11points

Subrata Pradhan 2 years ago

this child mastered sarcasm very soon

3points

David 2 years ago

If I was still 11 this might seem like "good advice". But I'm in my 60s and I know for a fact a hell of a lot has changed.

2points

Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago

Most of life is lame, tbh. But it’s still necessary. I mean, if the lame stuff didn’t get done, you would definitely notice.

1point

Melissa K 2 years ago

In my house we describe lameness similar to a large animal vet and all lameness must be graded. Stage One: Only an expert could tell Stage Two: Somebody in the know could see it Stage Three: Anybody can see the lameness if they're paying attention. Stage Four: Obvious lameness, anybody would notice even if they're not looking for it. Stage Five: Lameness so intense you feel sorry for the person. A sad amount of lameness. Used in context, those snowboarders talking big on the lodge are like a stage 2 lameness, the guy bragging about how hard he fell at each area like he's hard core, stage 5, LAME. Stage Four:

1point

pamela nichols 2 years ago

A sage in the making.

0points

Ember the Fire Bee 2 years ago

I’m at the “when did everyone get so stupid” stage (Ah, high school)

0points

ℙ𝕦𝕣𝕣.𝕞𝕒𝕚𝕕 2 years ago

Are you deeper (philosophical) than a 6th grader?

0points

Karen Philpott 2 years ago

That kid has been here before!

0points

#43

The Best Advice

342points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Thanks, I'm actually having a day right now!

73points

Autistic Ladybug 2 years ago

same Feathered Dino. Also Chickens rule.

5points

Hannah Privette 2 years ago

Well I hope it gets better!

3points

Ronstantin 2 years ago

And it's the dayest of the year so far …

0points

Manny_Flawz 2 years ago

I used to say that at the store I worked at. Also, have an interesting day. Boss wasn't thrilled until he heard customers telling me that they liked that better than "Have a nice day" LOL

2points

Taki Takanashi 2 years ago

Where can I buy one?

2points

Philly Bobcat 2 years ago

Have a bidet...

1point

Red Wyvern Emperor 2 years ago

Nah, I prefer night. XD

1point

The Person 2 years ago

I having a night...

1point

Hilary Mol 2 years ago (edited)

A GOAL I CAN FINALLY ACHIEVE!

1point

Rosecrucian Roeth 1 year ago

I do appreciate this,more than you can imagine............

0points

Baali Venomax 2 years ago

This is what you get when you want Mood neutral signs.

0points

Jacob Stone 2 years ago

the mask is one of the movies of all time.

0points

#44

Some Of The Best Advice I've Heard In A While

328points

POST

Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago

Tried it once. I didn’t teleport, but it sure looked like the stars did.

90points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

Did you add some salt in? It helps.

9points

Sandrapocalypse 2 years ago

I find it's really just more like the drug that rhymes with B. Why do you think the '60s were so groovy and in love?

4points

ERIN W. 2 years ago

EXTREMELY BAD UDEA! ☹️

0points

Invisible Panda 2 years ago

Finally, a post that isn't an advocate for alcohol! Count me in! 🙋

3points

Shannon K 2 years ago

I did that once and I don't think I came back all in one piece!

1point

Lydia Gichia-Black 2 years ago

Bad trip might be worse than drinking and driving. Don’t do either

1point

Josh Gilland 2 years ago

It should be take acid and bike.

1point

marianne eliza 2 years ago

Did it on a canoe trip on the Russian River in CA. Made a Blue Heron that flew over head look like a pterodactyl.

3points

The Other Other White Meat 2 years ago

Or take shroomies and melt 👽

1point

Rosecrucian Roeth 1 year ago

If only........

0points

Happy Blue Panda 2 years ago

My uncle would always say, don't drink and drive you might spill your drink

0points

Niall Mac Iomera 2 years ago

Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?

0points

Angela B 2 years ago

Laughed a bit louder than I should have at this one.

0points

#45

That’s Some Solid Advice Right There

325points

POST

Kati Donovan 2 years ago

This sign should be posted in all male bathrooms world wide!

12points

Dickvandyke 2 years ago

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Josh Valcárcel 2 years ago

ªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªªª

8points

Shagun Srivastava 2 years ago

me too josh. me too.

2points

The Other Other White Meat 2 years ago

Don't touch other peoples' balls without their consent, that is 😏

8points

What_the_actual_sloth? 2 years ago (edited)

wash your hands regardless, however :D

4points

Teresa Francis 2 years ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

5points

Zophra 2 years ago

But what if they were paying me....

4points

cookie_cat 2 years ago

which kind? 🥴

4points

Nicole Weymann 2 years ago

Er...yes? To all of that, perhaps? (Until and/or unless otherwise instructed and possibly not in a public place?)

3points

Comicpanda 2 years ago

I WILL TOUCH WHOEVERS BALLS I WANT TO TOUCH!!!!

3points

Alondra Romero 2 years ago

NO MY DIRTY MIND

3points

Blackheart 2 years ago

Before, if you ate hot sauce.

2points

Auntriarch 2 years ago

Good life advice

2points

#46

Best Life Advice In My Local Pub

309points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

It's 2023, we have wifi, we talk to each other AND get drunk!

69points

Kim Kermes 2 years ago

Last time I got drunk, I used wifi to show someone what cuneiform was. We were discussing linguistics and ha d got to Hittite. It was a true symposium.

3points

Synlover Too 2 years ago

People rarely talk anymore. Too busy on their phones. Hell...my BFFs daughter & SIL text each other incessantly. FROM OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE COUCH! And can't understand why their 4yo son can barely speak,has no social skills fights at kindergarten, & needs to see a speech pathologist. They've been encouraged to do some educational at-home work with him - but nope. Interferes with their texting. Priorities are 🤬

3points

Rosecrucian Roeth 1 year ago

Been thorough the 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's, 00's, and 10's and so far wifi don;t make it...

0points

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago

You must stay at home a lot.

0points

Mikey mathy 2 years ago

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Turd Ferguson 2 years ago

Is this pub in a cave? 😂

7points

Lunakadi 2 years ago

I was going to ask the same thing.

1point

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

Cave drinkin' do be good

1point

Michael Smith 2 years ago

explains the lack of WiFi...

0points

Ervin Conn 2 years ago

So let's really pretend it's 1995 and you charge me 1995 prices for the beer.

4points

MygrandsonscallmeNia 2 years ago (edited)

Back then we: danced, shot pool, walked around talking to everybody, and usually, end up at a big table, or booth with all of my friends. We played quarters, and other drinking games too. We didn't need WiFi! I love this sign!

4points

The Other Other White Meat 2 years ago

It's 2023... do people even like to talk to other people anymore?

4points

Mobey Drunk 2 years ago

Ok, I'll pay a dollar for the pint and light up a cigarette.

1point

BackSeatSlut 2 years ago

Talk, as in like…face to face? Is it like…a new viral thing I should start following?

1point

Subrata Pradhan 2 years ago

Or may be get drunk and proceed as u like.

1point

Jude Laskowski 2 years ago

Talk to each other! Dump the damn phones!

0points

Niall Mac Iomera 2 years ago

I assume you'll have 1995 prices then?

0points

#47

Advice To Live By

300points

POST

Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago

Aww. Darn. Try talking to us instead, then? We wolves do get lonely sometimes.

112points

Stardust she/her 2 years ago

Hello, you look remarkably dressed today

23points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

I'll try twittering at you

9points

fair_weather_rose 2 years ago

I'll talk to you, Well-Dressed Wolf! Us vampires get pretty lonely too

9points

Auntriarch 2 years ago

Aww, aunts will talk to anyone, how are you doing WDWolf?

5points

Lucy Cope 2 years ago

Definitely will next time I’m at the zoo ☺️

1point

Evelyn Haskins 2 years ago

What big teeth you have, Grandmama!

0points

My O My 2 years ago

Can I boop your snoot?

0points

Pandora18 2 years ago

username checks out

0points

Lydia Gichia-Black 2 years ago

Makes sense. Imagine a foreigner (who does not speak your language), walking up to you, and they start yelling at you for who knows what reason.

3points

Terri Martin 2 years ago

Idk about wolves but I howl at my neighbors huskies 3 houses down when I'm in my backyard and they always howl back.

2points

Unnamed Hooman 2 years ago

My mom used to howl at the wolves by her farm and they would howl back 😂

2points

Zorrrg 2 years ago

*howls to establish dominance*

1point

marianne eliza 2 years ago

So then what's their favorite musical instrument?

1point

Stary_cat 2 years ago (edited)

It may not be clear but ima Dragon (rainwing) who likes the stars and cats i dont get spoken to much so I’ll be friends with anyone who will want to be my friend

1point

Mizzy 2 years ago

No awoo? :<

1point

Blackheart 2 years ago

And maybe you need to make a wolf nervous. Have you not read Little Red Riding Hood, or The Three Little Pigs?

0points

Shang Robin 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

#48

Unneeded Advice

291points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Hey, no kink shaming!

93points

Angi 2 years ago

It's not kink shaming. It's just saying don't do it in public.

13points

Lisa H 2 years ago (edited)

No one is kink shaming, they're just thinking about the poor soul that has to clean the fence! There must be limits!

5points

Vic 2 years ago

Maybe the person writing meant actual "no s**t" (constipation) and wanted to sit on the fence to .. um "unclog" the drain..

5points

Synlover Too 2 years ago

Perzactly! To each our own!

2points

Tess 2 years ago

The bits that look like the letter m, will probably prevent any quick escape attempts.

0points

... 2 years ago

wth

-3points

Mikey mathy 2 years ago

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Ace 2 years ago

Anything's a d1ldo if you're brave enough.

19points

Vic 2 years ago

* Looks at jackfruit.. looses bravado *

6points

Red Panda 2 years ago

The graffiti 😂

15points

Betta Fish 2 years ago

THIS SIGN IS AT THE AMUSEMENT PARK RIGHT BY MY HOUSE! LAGOON! Because people were actually sitting on it it was strange.

15points

Cat Chat 2 years ago

Fellow Utahn, here. Love me some Lagoon time. Been years, though. My kids still go at least once each summer.

8points

Stardust she/her 2 years ago

Maybe a bit of lube can help

6points

Sanchi 2 years ago

mOtHeR tRuCkEr DuDe ThAt HuRt LiKe A bUtTcHeEk On A sTiCk

5points

Synlover Too 2 years ago

Speaking from experience here Sanchi? Curious minds want to know!

2points

Andy Frobig 2 years ago

It was a million to one shot, doc

4points

Ron Russell 2 years ago

Point made.

3points

Synlover Too 2 years ago

🤣🤣 Best reply!

1point

Littlefire097 2 years ago

free Rectal cleaning

3points

Jk 2 years ago

Vlad the Impaler disagrees

3points

#49

Sage Advice

288points

POST

Random K-pop Stan 2 years ago

Please don't touch anyone at all

114points

Anne Jones 2 years ago

Without their permission.

10points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

This. This is why grammar is important. This.

20points

Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago

To be fair there is a period after touch.

4points

Littlefire097 2 years ago

All parents be damned

9points

Turd Ferguson 2 years ago

I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC

8points

Valerie G. 2 years ago

does this include Prince Andrew?

3points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

God, please don't

6points

Ozymandias73 2 years ago

SO many better ways that could've been worded. Albeit, that advice still holds true.

4points

Steve Robert 2 years ago

Unless you're under 18 years old

2points

Pandora18 2 years ago

I bet Michael Jackson never saw this sign

1point

bottomless.abyss.of.bordem 2 years ago

If you have to put up a sign....your store us posted on some pervie site

1point

peithecelt 2 years ago (edited)

.... I think I know what store this picture is from... I'm a little disturbed... (It is no longer open, sadly, so I can't confirm).

1point

#50

Life Advice From Ripndip

285points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Even sweaters are a bit aggressive these days...

111points

BackSeatSlut 2 years ago

It’s the continuous shaming we all do during the holidays, I think they are fed up and won’t take it anymore

5points

DebB 2 years ago

I like it!

3points

Lydia Gichia-Black 2 years ago

Passive aggressive sweater designers

2points

Michael Smith 2 years ago (edited)

1) Why would you need to dry clean a 100% cotton article of clothing? 2) I feel the same way about dry-clean only clothes as I do dishes that aren't dishwasher safe, only about twice as strongly.

8points

Lori Rommel 2 years ago

That was my takeaway -- who the hell takes cotton to the dry cleaner? I had a skirt once whose label read "100% combed cotton -- dry clean only" which tolerated the washer and dryer just fine.

2points

Josie Bisbano 2 years ago

I enjoy design from Californa, more exotic than from California.

8points

Blue Jay 2 years ago

7) Trying my best 8) Nope because they don't love me 9) Why bother, she won't pick up the phone 10) I'm off to buy a cat

5points

Zophra 2 years ago

10) needs to be far higher on the list.

4points

Betta Fish 2 years ago

Thanks

3points

Kathrin Pukowsky 2 years ago

That looks like 100% acrylic to me.

2points

Lolly Gagger 2 years ago

You look like acrylic to me

0points

ThePalm52 2 years ago

Where is Californa?

2points

any rei 2 years ago

Thanks sweater for reminding me that I have a*****e parents!

1point

Mickie Shea 2 years ago

Sweater advise is always welcome. Gonna check with my sweaters, now.

0points

#51

Some Sage Advice From My Local Subway Restaurant

132points

POST

Turd Ferguson 2 years ago

I swear some customers at my job be doing this

60points

Natalie H 2 years ago

Sadly, I’ve heard a lot of work horror stories like this, and seen a few myself. What is wrong with people?? 😖

8points

Sam Juan 2 years ago

I swear, some co-workers at my job be doing this.

7points

ConstantlyJon 2 years ago

damnit great username

3points

Karen Philpott 2 years ago

If that's how they c**p, then they should be made to clean it up or pay a generous sum for someone else to..maybe $500?!

1point

*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

My grandma does this too. At our house, and at academy sports and outdoors. . . Didn't go their for a very long time.

0points

Lydia Gichia-Black 2 years ago

Savages, the lot.

0points

Melissa Robinson 2 years ago

I hit rock bottom after the 5000th time of seeing this as a restaurant hostess. A lady walked in did that in the bathroom and I went to clean it up afterwards and she had left her keys. I smeared her keys in it, through it all in the garbage with the paper towel and everything else that I used to clean it up. She came back and had to get her keys out of the trash and I had to clean it up again but it was worth it

3points

Betta Fish 2 years ago

nom

3points

Stardust she/her 2 years ago

Nom?

4points

Steve Robert 2 years ago

Is that you Bender?

2points

MygrandsonscallmeNia 2 years ago (edited)

I worked at a Foodland, as a cashier, and stock person back in 2007. Someone, crapped all over the toilet, just like this sign! It even hit the walls too! Amid the mess, was this person's panties. No one, wanted to clean it up. Arguments, were bad. Finally, I just asked if I could get paid extra for doing it. Extra pay, goodies from the deli, and an extra two days off, is what I got for doing it. No one was allowed to use the restroom, until it was done, because it was considered a Biohazard.

1point

DebB 2 years ago

Some people are not potty trained. Some are just barely house broken.

1point

Generic Soda Pop 🇺🇦(she/her) 2 years ago

diarrhea

0points

ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago

Dear God ... is this a common problem at this Subway ... or Subway in general?

0points

Karen Grace 2 years ago

In other words...don't poo like a penguin!

0points

Laura VF 2 years ago

Clearly subway has tried their own food😂

0points

#52

Bar Sign Offers Great Advice

128points

POST

Carlos 2 years ago

Don't be a coward, you can take on that 7ft bouncer

49points

The Other Other White Meat 2 years ago

Aha except that's vodka talking for me. 10 Feet tall and bulletproof, as they say 😂 Tequila just tells me to giggle and dance until my skin melts off.

1point

Zophra 2 years ago

Rum gives just as bad advice.

3points

Magpie 2 years ago

I blame Jose Cuervo for my first, very miserable, marriage

1point

Sans Serif 2 years ago

And, my third kid!

0points

Sergio Bicerra 2 years ago

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

0points

#53

Mom's Advice

127points

POST

Betta Fish 2 years ago

Jacob you naughty boy!

28points

FlatEarf 2 years ago

Kinda what he looks like in his picture

3points

RandomHumanBean 2 years ago

he should have just put "anything stupid"

2points

Mickeynsync 2 years ago

Such a mischievous look on his face

1point

ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago

Jacob you're awesome ... great Mom Shaming!

0points

Mine Truly 2 years ago

Sounds like she knows him well.

0points

Dawn C 2 years ago

100% moms fault!🤣🤣🤣

0points

#54

Life Advice From My Sheet Music

123points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

*rests and reflects* Now what?

26points

Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago

Get back in there, you're only half way through!

2points

Nifemi 2 years ago (edited)

Reflecthoveen and restovart

1point

Satan Laughs 2 years ago

All the violinists glance around wondering if they wore enough black for the concert. Just one possible reflection. 😊➰🖤

0points

Banned_User 2 years ago

this is awesome

0points

#55

Who Would Have Thought A Piece Of Clothing could Be That Intelligent?

121points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

At least they didn't pull out my fellow dinosaur friend's feathers again!

21points

𝓠𝓾𝓪𝓬𝓴 2 years ago

...Again?

3points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

"Made with 100% unicorn feathers" PINK FEATHERY UNICORNS DANCING ON RAINBOWS!

7points

𝓠𝓾𝓪𝓬𝓴 2 years ago

pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows :]

1point

Jack Harris 2 years ago

Where are all of these therapy clothes coming from?

1point

Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc 2 years ago

*Edit*

0points

#56

Better Grab Your Popcorn

121points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Always chose quila

21points

Charlie Birkner 2 years ago

On a Guinness sign, the irony

0points

Banned_User 2 years ago

XD

0points

#57

Some Friendly Advice From My Local Gas Station Bathroom!

120points

POST

CORGI QUEEN 2 years ago

I HAVE THAT AT HOME!

28points

Bi Frog 2 years ago

WAIT REALLY THATS SO COOL! Where'd you get it, my little brother sure could use that reminder lol

5points

Jayne Brown 2 years ago

Warning - cannot be unseen once seen. Have you ever looked at a stormtrooper upside down? They have big smiley faces.

1point

Olli Glx 2 years ago

What's a "Formpooper"?

0points

ADHD McChick 2 years ago

And don't use too much Force!

0points

Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago

Sticker wearing off from cleaning, doesn't work. 😖

0points

Blur Davis 2 years ago

This is a CLEAN gas station toilet!

0points

Jody Whitmarsh 2 years ago

I've just found the next gift for my brother. Grown a$$ man has a Darth Vader shower head. This would be perfect

0points

#58

Sound Advice For Anyone Considering A Degree In Art

118points

POST

Immortal Jackalope 2 years ago

that's what you get for going to art school

18points

Chewie Baron Premium 2 years ago

Then there was that guy from Linz who didn’t go to art school…

4points

Bi Frog 2 years ago

:( I don't like this one

5points

Upstaged75 2 years ago

Me either. My mom went to art school and had a great career as an art teacher. Plus it's cool to have someone good at art help you with your school projects. :)

1point

porgsarecool 2 years ago

last time we said this would war two started

3points

cookie_cat 2 years ago

too bad, i'll still draw anime (not the best anime but at least mediocre)

1point

Crazy Cookie 2 years ago

Ooh pictures please

0points

Thomas E S Thomas 2 years ago

I can attest to that. By the time I finished college, the software I was trained in became obsolete. Oh but I can paint.

0points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago

Midjourney AI appreciates this meme. beep boop.

0points

Cedgeemo 2 years ago

Who needs art school? Jus get high asf then yoir mind will draw for you

0points

FlatEarf 2 years ago

Who needs art school anyways go into German politics

0points

Invisible Panda 2 years ago

These days it seems like a lot of degrees are dead ends tho. At least in the USA anyway.

0points

FlatEarf 2 years ago

There are a lot of dumb degrees but also a lot of helpful degrees just depends what people choose, but for some reason now colleges offer worthless degrees

0points

Remala555 2 years ago

can someone explain i dont get it

0points

Ron Russell 2 years ago

You'll need to know how to access 'welfare' cheques.

-2points

#59

Some Real Life Advice

118points

POST

Bi Frog 2 years ago

Sounds like whoever wrote this stayed in drugs all right

5points

Immortal Jackalope 2 years ago

i think they got things a little messed up

2points

ConstantlyJon 2 years ago

…….slowly puts down cucumber.

1point

What_the_actual_sloth? 2 years ago

Its okay, you can't eat it however you can DO it.

0points

Amour Doctrina 2 years ago

Clever

0points

Zamein 2 years ago

They get a gold square because an attempt was made but still not successful.

0points

Cedgeemo 2 years ago

So ig it goes crossways "Stay in your school, Eat Your Vegetables, Dont Do Your Drugs" So i can do everybody elses drugs? HELL YEAH

0points

Dawn C 2 years ago

it makes more sense when you read as follows: Stay! Eat! Don't! In your do. Drugs school vegetables. Shhhhh go to sleep carrot. 🤣🤣

0points

The Other Other White Meat 2 years ago

It appears this person took some advice from the acid dude above.

0points

Kyndra Murphy 2 years ago

I see this advice was written by Rorschach. Very immature and advice just as immature.

0points

Subrata Pradhan 2 years ago

someone photoshopped as it seems.

0points

#60

Good Advice

113points

POST

Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago

Sensible advice. Just look what happened when Chihiro let the No-Face into the bathhouse.

4points

Anish Momaya 2 years ago

SENsible advice.

1point

Caleb Burrows 2 years ago

Someone took I got your nose to a whole new level

3points

@wanderlustt 2 years ago

It's supposed to say "Do Not Enter Without A Face Mask." But I will gladly enter without a face 🚫😲

3points

Dawn C 2 years ago

what if I just have Eyes without a Face? still a no go? Sorry Billy Idol I tried!😏

2points

Zophra 2 years ago

Discrimination!

2points

Jes.the.Mess 2 years ago

The skeleton army will be devastated

2points

Michael Smith 2 years ago

It's ok, the skeleton army can't read.

0points

Hamlets twin 2 years ago

"I want to take his face OFF" Comment just to prove my age.

1point

Glitch Kitten 2 years ago

Lol Face Off Wiiiiiith.. John Travolta and.. Nicholas Cage

0points

Glitch Kitten 2 years ago

Watchmen, obviously, as your name implies your favourite character

0points

Lydia Gichia-Black 2 years ago

Does it have to be my face? Can I face swoop with a friend?

0points

Jody Whitmarsh 2 years ago

Eyes without a face 🎶

0points

#61

Just Local Things

113points

POST

Friend Lee 2 years ago

I’m kind of freaking out because I’m like, that’s my state. So I googled it and it certainly is. All I recognized was that cloudy sky and green grass. How did I know? Anyway, it’s Washington. After 53 years I guess I know my gray and green.

20points

Joe Xaung 2 years ago (edited)

Just outside Centralia Washington, you see a lot of meth heads walking around the fields

1point

Lytha Hawkeye 2 years ago

4.05 a gallon?!?!? Jeebus where is this place????

1point

Sans Serif 2 years ago

More like "when" is this place?

0points

Jes.the.Mess 2 years ago

Why not both?

1point

Dixon Hannon 2 years ago

Cause your not hungry when you smoke meth.

6points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

Beeecause you need your teeth to eat?

4points

Array Index Out of Bounds 2 years ago

Because you won't be able to eat.

0points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Why indeed? 🤔

0points

Shang Robin 2 years ago

How do you smoke math or a mess in the first place?

0points

Cedgeemo 2 years ago

What sorta meat? Of you get my jist😏

0points

#62

Solid Advice!

110points

POST

Jennlyn 2 years ago

Facts

19points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Aye aye 🫡

1point

Josh Gilland 2 years ago

Weird time of the year for that

0points

Teresa Francis 2 years ago

🥰🥰🥰🥰

0points

Subrata Pradhan 2 years ago

Got it.

0points

#63

Found At Work Today

110points

POST

The Other Other White Meat 2 years ago

AHAHAHA is this the fun/sane version of "Don't Tread On Me"?? Because I LOVE IT!

5points

Johnnynatfan 2 years ago

It sucks that the stupid tea party uses the dont tread on me flag. Now is associated with crazy a*s right wing lunatics instead of the revolutionary war.

1point

Jake Lewis 2 years ago

I think that's the first draft of Trogdor

3points

Birb 2 years ago

Leave snek alone

0points

Michael Smith 2 years ago

"Snek!" -- Trevor Noah's impression of a French man.

0points

Teresa Francis 2 years ago

😅😅

0points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

🤦🤦 holy cow that's a tea party reference.

0points

Xenon 2 years ago

I have that on a flag.

0points

Littlefire097 2 years ago

Me snek you stp I bte Ehs

0points

MygrandsonscallmeNia 2 years ago

I think, I like "Don't Tread On Me," better.

-3points

#64

Good Advice

107points

POST

Teresa Francis 2 years ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

0points

Hilary Mol 2 years ago

We had one of these signs on an emergency phone on my college campus in the 90s. It was on a light pole along one of the walkways, and you literally WOULD have to keep running if you needed to use an emergency phone & it was out of order.

0points

#65

Good Life Advice

104points

POST

Stardust she/her 2 years ago

imagesqtbn...sqpCAU.png

30points

funkybluegirl 2 years ago

Haha!

5points

#66

Good Advice Outside The Local Pub

103points

POST

Stardust she/her 2 years ago

I bet that some drunk person will go “you can’t stop me”

24points

Steve Robert 2 years ago

Good advice. My ex called me. We got back together. Pulled the same c**p. Now she's ex again

4points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Someone hold my beer...

2points

𝓠𝓾𝓪𝓬𝓴 2 years ago

I got it :D

1point

Littlefire097 2 years ago

I keep seeing T-Rex

1point

#67

Sound Advice In Golf And Life

99points

POST

SH Holmes 2 years ago

Those extra strokes are important though!

23points

Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago

No more than two!

1point

Dawn C 2 years ago

4got to wash hands😝

3points

KimTx ‍️ 2 years ago

Wash your hands... Use soap...

0points

Auntriarch 2 years ago

Snort-laugh!

0points

#68

Sound Advice From A College Student

98points

POST

Stardust she/her 2 years ago

Yik yak? I hope that it’s a better version of Tik Tok

31points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Everything's a better version of Tik Top. Except Instagram maybe. And Facebook

7points

FlatEarf 2 years ago

It's the Canadian Tik Tok

3points

Josh Gilland 2 years ago

A yak only TikTok.

2points

Michael Smith 2 years ago

I assumed it was the University of Alabama version of Yik Yak so... maybe?

2points

Theo Blackwood 2 years ago

Yik Yak was a great app for passing the time in college.

0points

Subrata Pradhan 2 years ago

That's some good advice.

0points

#69

Sounds Like Good Advice

93points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Hey, I'm always reasonable!!! 🐓🐔

32points

Lytha Hawkeye 2 years ago

So you're no jerk chicken?

8points

Stardust she/her 2 years ago

The dude in the bottom right is probably the person who translated all this

7points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

It is obvious.

2points

Betta Fish 2 years ago

Avoid rude and unreasonable chicken, try the strange juice, To take notice of safe the slippery are very crafty. I can't read the one in the back welp

7points

CrazyKnitter 2 years ago

Please don't ---- any ----?

1point

Jes.the.Mess 2 years ago

I'll have the Unreasonable Chicken and a double Strange Juice please

3points

Steve Robert 2 years ago

Listen a*****e. You get into the damned frying pan

2points

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago

For everyone out there, the ‘strange juice’ is kiwi fruit juice. In Chinese, kiwi fruit is 奇异果, which means ‘strange fruit’.

1point

DebB 2 years ago

What the hell is strange juice 🤢

1point

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago

Kiwi fruit juice. 奇异果 is ‘strange fruit’ literally in Chinese.

1point

Linda Bravo 2 years ago

I’d like to try the strange juice.

1point

Jonnathan Poirier 2 years ago

Try the strange juice

0points

meowi.anne 2 years ago

I wanna try the strange juice

0points

#70

Solid Advice From Magic Hat

90points

POST

nooneimportant 2 years ago

don't tell me what to do

22points

A Wild Bean 2 years ago

I think, just this once, take the bottlecap's advice

7points

Anne Roberts 2 years ago

You"ll only do it once

2points

Lousha 2 years ago

Again, me naked or bacon naked?

2points

Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago

Bacon naked yes. You naked no.

2points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

You can't tell me how to cook!

1point

OutsiderDogMom 2 years ago

I always asked my ex to cook bacon (and everything else) naked because he has hawt as heck and I loved his screams.

0points

niki.bordeaux 2 years ago

But... but it's always such a struggle to dress the bacon!

0points

bottomless.abyss.of.bordem 2 years ago

oooh baby, i like it raw

0points

ilysm 2 years ago

You can't stop me

0points

Michael Smith 2 years ago

something something kink shaming

0points

Dawn C 2 years ago

✒️cook the pig 🐖 too✒️ got it!👌🏾

0points

#71

Local Hospital's Good Advice Is Good

89points

POST

Betta Fish 2 years ago

The fact that they needed to make this sign...

66points

SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago

Yes, before they passed the baby safe haven law in the US, there were a bunch of news stories about infants found in dumpsters.

17points

Jennlyn 2 years ago

I weep for humanity

4points

amy hipps 2 years ago

The fact they wouldn't need even to hand a baby over if a woman was given the right of her own body to abort. Oh well keep packing up those foster homes and orphanages

1point

Stardust she/her 2 years ago

No disposing of unwanted kids? Is that the first picture?

6points

Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago

Sadly, some girls and women throw their babies in dumpsters or trash cans after giving birth, if they cannot care for the baby or are unwilling to.

9points

Kathy Loman 2 years ago

If it was truly anonymous and they didn't either try and council the person on keeping the baby or arrest them for giving it up they wouldn't need this sign. 😡

3points

Jilltdcatlady 2 years ago

This was also a PSA to let mother's know Where they can leave the baby without judgement. It used to be thought only at churches or leaving then in a basket hoping somebody would find it. And I'm not referring to the 60s. But recently.

0points

Shelli Aderman 2 years ago

Don’t yeet the baby!

0points

Amour Doctrina 2 years ago

Visiting from another Planet not advised.

0points

Teresa Francis 2 years ago

🥰🥰❤❤

0points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

6TH TIME: WHAT HAD TO HAPPENED FOR THIS SIGN TO BE NECESSARY?!

0points

Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago

Anti abortion laws happened.

2points

#72

Excellent Life Advice

88points

POST

Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago

Honest question: do most people believe all cats are vicious a-holes that gleefully and willfully scratch you? I’ve had four and none have ever scratched me. Have I just somehow lucked out with cats who are too lazy to scratch me or something?

58points

Natalie H 2 years ago

I’ve had many cats. Currently I have 4. I don’t remember ever being clawed, except for once and that involved a bath & my soapy cat clinging to my chest for dear life with what felt like 10 fish hooks in my pectoral muscles.

12points

Jessica Avery 2 years ago

One of mine definitely fits the stereotype, the other is super sweet. Much like people, they come in all flavors

9points

Bridget Myers 2 years ago

Have you ever tried to tuck a cat into a Baby Bjorn??

7points

A Wild Bean 2 years ago (edited)

I think most cats are pretty chill, the problem is that some people are only used to dogs. Cats have different boundaries.

6points

fair_weather_rose 2 years ago

Not sure. My cat only scratched me once or twice when I really annoyed her, and most of the cats I've met were very sweet

6points

bonnie murray 2 years ago

when i put flea meds on tinkerbell's neck yesterday, she bit me in two places.

5points

Printerman 2 years ago

I've had a total of 8 cats in my time. The only time they ever scratch me is if they are sitting on me and get startled. NGL, those are some *nasty* scratches, though.

3points

Thee8thsense 2 years ago (edited)

None of my cats have ever been mean. All have been very loving, intelligent beings.

3points

Apatheist Account2 2 years ago

It varies. Ours has mellowed; we think she might have lashed out a bit because of dental pain, so it could indicate that something is wrong medically. It also depends on how they've been brought up - ex-strays are more likely to be territorial.

3points

Mine Truly 2 years ago

I think it happens to people who don't understand that cats have boundaries and require consent. So someone gets right into a cat's face and tries to scriffle it like a dog instead of reading that the cats not in the mood.

2points

Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago

My cat likes to scratch me affectionately (just kidding, she hates me and only loves my kid)

2points

Deborah B 2 years ago

I have a cat that does not hiss or scratch. He's 2 and 1/2, I have never heard him hiss, and he has scratched me once, by accident, during an attempt to evade a nail trim. He isn't cuddly, but his chosen means of self-defence is saying "Meep!" when picked up. Effectiveness of this deterant falls somewhere between "not at all" and "actually counter-productive."

1point

Ela 2 years ago

Have you ever stuffed a sweet cuddly cat into a baby Bjorn and dragged it screaming into a loud, smoky, unfamiliar place full of strangers? No? This is why you have all your limbs and facial features. They aren't necessarily vicious but if they do not like they will let you know!

1point

Marek Čtrnáct 2 years ago (edited)

Well, my cat gets a bit bitey when he believes I ignore his pleads for food. Then there is the "pet the stomach until cat attacks" game. But i generally hide my hand in my sleeve so he only attacks the cloth. But I've seen what he can do to rodents. He already has an outlet for his aggression.

1point

David Green 2 years ago

Yes, in answer to the first question. At A&E bleeding from the wrist so can't answer the other question.

1point

SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago

Yes, you lucked out. I've had many cats throughout my life, and I dearly love my Eddie, and he loves me, but he has sent my mother to the hospital.

1point

amy hipps 2 years ago

Animal lovers that love all, people that own cats AND dogs and etc don't agree. That being said if the person says don't like cats i am a dog person ( as in they only like dogs and brag about said dogs harming cats) they agree with the vicious part.

0points

Jilltdcatlady 2 years ago

If your cat hasn't scratched bitten, or sneak attacked you at least once then you just haven't activated the murder button yet.

0points

memyselfandI 2 years ago

I’ve been scratched a few times by mine, mainly when I’m holding them and a dog walks up. Otherwise they’re usually very careful not to scratch people, except for in self defense. I still have a friend who doesn’t like cats because she came to a party at my house and got scratched. Upon further questioning, she had tried to take the cat down the curly slide on her lap. Cat wins.

0points

The Original Bruno 2 years ago

I used to think this referred to deliberate scratching. Yet I've got a sweet, affectionate, chatty little derp but when he wants down, he always manages to impale my liver with his little velociraptor toe.

0points

Adrian Scarlett 2 years ago

You are correct, cats only scratch a******s, vets and people trying to give them a bath.

0points

Laura VF 2 years ago

Cats take after their owners personality. So if someone has an a*****e cat, they are probably a******s. So walk away. Kind of the opposite of dog owners. If your dog likes the person they're probably solid. If your dog does not like the person, then walk away. 😂

0points

Kathleen Hansford 2 years ago

People have been misunderstanding cats - wilfully or out of ignorance - since the church decided cats were witches' familiars. I've had cats for years and seldom been scratched.

0points

Gladys Hayes Southerland 2 years ago

All my cats were friendly & loved being touched, even carried. None scratched.

0points

Judith Remkes 2 years ago

Currently on my third cat, have only ever been scratched accidentally, but my current (young) cat has bitten me a few times. We're still working out what each others bodies are, i guess. People who think cats are a******s just don't know cats.

0points

Thomas Dickson 2 years ago

I'm scratch free and my cats are awesome.

0points

George Jefferson 2 years ago

Yes

0points

meowi.anne 2 years ago

My cats have never scratched me out of malice, just occasionally out of fear or overzealous rough housing

0points

Midoribird Aoi 2 years ago

More likely you have very gentle lazy cats that you keep in a food coma from all the treats....or you are just a very good pet owner and they love you for it. :)

0points

Cat Chat 2 years ago

We had one cat when my girls were young that took all his frustrations out on the youngest. She was on the receiving end of many bad, deep claw slices. He ran away within a year of getting him. Meanest pet we ever had. Otherwise, scratches from other cats here are rare and accidental.

0points

Littlefire097 2 years ago

No

0points

Rosie Red 2 years ago

My cat doesn't scratch me, instead she tries to murder me by tripping me when I walk by. I would bet all my money that she would then eat my face once I'm dead. She's so sweet.

1point

Yoga Kitty 2 years ago

Worst cat scratch I got till date: After walking around barefoot a lot on a hot day I wanted to give my dirty feet a little soak before actually taking a shower. Sat, already skyclad for showering, on the side of the tub, feet in maybe 15 cm deep water. Cat jumps up on the brim, loses balance - Splash! Completely freaked out she climbs up on my frontside and slides down all along my backside faster than the speed of light. So. Much. Blood.

0points

Panda-Moan-I-Ummm.... 2 years ago

He means you won't keep them in want position they don't want to be in for very long

0points

Stephanie Did It 2 years ago

If looks could kill, the person taking this picture would be seriously ill.

0points

#73

Are You Brave Enough To Walk In To Your Closet?

87points

POST

Stardust she/her 2 years ago

Mine is more like “crawl in”

17points

I love my golden retriever 2 years ago

I would need to climb up into mine

2points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

Mine is more like "slither in"

2points

memyselfandI 2 years ago

I have one squeeze in and a shove in coat closet. Broom closet is more of a suck in (stomach) fit.

1point

The President 2 years ago

Leaving can be a problem

2points

Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago

I thought walking out was supposed to be the brave move?

1point

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago

I've been in there for long enough thanks

1point

ဗSailor Moonဗ 2 years ago

Mine is “physically can not get in”

1point

Pheonixvatoreii 2 years ago

I'm not brave enough, hell no! Too many skeletons in there!

1point

Amanda Jecmen 2 years ago

Dang sounds like my mom's closet

0points

Eledore Massis 2 years ago

But that would mean at some point you will be getting out of the closet..(que SouthPark episode).

0points

The Captain 2 years ago

A walk in closet is just a place for the killer to hide.

0points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

Get out of the closet and Come to My window-- Melissa Etheridge

0points

#74

Life Advice Was Better Back In The Day

85points

POST

Rosie Red 2 years ago

Sign, sign Everywhere a sign Blockin' out the scenery Breakin' my mind Do this, don't do that Can't you read the sign?

2points

Ruth Kilpatrick 2 years ago

Love that song, especially by Mr. Big.

0points

The Original Bruno 2 years ago

Owner can't understand why Madeline L'Engel fans stay away.

0points

#75

Had To Share This Gem

81points

POST

Random Guy 2 years ago

They changed the old sign to put this up bruh

17points

Michael Smith 2 years ago

It was colder then.

1point

Adam Zad 2 years ago

I may not live a life without sin, but I do live a life without cos and tan.

7points

fair_weather_rose 2 years ago

I wish I did

2points

Michael Smith 2 years ago

When I was out of kindergarten a year or two I got a calculator with trig functions... I loved making numbers sin and get a tan just cos.

1point

The Original Bruno 2 years ago

Live a life without sin, cos a tan is better? Do you think Noah got an arc tan?

0points

Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago

Remember Sinbad? Funny guy when you were 10.

2points

Huddo's sister 2 years ago

This is an Aussie church, so makes perfect sense. Chances are there is no air con in the church though.

2points

Mickeynsync 2 years ago

What does Deets mean 🤔

1point

Missi Boness 2 years ago

Details

1point

Terri Martin 2 years ago

But you changed it to this 🤦

0points

... 2 years ago

"good deets"

0points

#76

Will Ferrell's Advice To My Father In His Junior High Yearbook. They Went To School Together

80points

POST

Carlos 2 years ago

plot twist: Doug was pregnant

29points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

😂😂😂

5points

Java Addict 2 years ago

Now I can't stop thinking about that SNL skit where Will was taking yoga classes to get flexible enough to give himself a bj.

4points

Michael Smith 2 years ago

Who was the comedian who said it's more like giving a bj than receiving one?

1point

Ashley Davis 2 years ago

Guys, read these notes. Doug was a wild man.

3points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

So basically he's never been funny...

2points

... 2 years ago

Read the note from Rhisa.....

1point

Dawn C 2 years ago

who's Hobart??

0points

#77

Spotted On A Beach In New Zealand... Sound Advice

79points

POST

Remala555 2 years ago

ok you got it *pulls out my Zarooq SandRacer from garage*

17points

Remala555 2 years ago

PS i dont actually have that car lol

4points

Max Robitzsch 2 years ago

Some stupid law from a century ago means our beaches are classified as roads in some legal respects. It really pisses me off you can't even get peace from the metal boxes of death there.

2points

Wonderful 2 years ago (edited)

My Nissan Versa is definitely not an extreme car. In fact it’s a terrible car. So many issues. I tell you all this so you don’t make the same mistake.

0points

Claire the Devils Advocate 2 years ago

It's just the way they pronounce care

0points

Angelo Ventura 2 years ago

What's an extreme car? An hearse?

0points

#78

As Seen At A Gas Station

79points

POST

Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago

I’m pretty sure serious injury is guaranteed.

35points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

Pretty sure?

2points

Arky Gamalan 2 years ago

Thats must be reason they put this sign.. happened always?

6points

David Green 2 years ago

Oh yeah, now they tell me! Obviously trying to cover their a## and avoid a law suit.

3points

Esme Weatherwax 2 years ago

Is there any reason why a notice like this is needed?

3points

Shaelynn Roll 2 years ago

Always that one person..LOL..has to ruin the good time for us all.

4points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

5TH TIME: WHAT HAPPENED FOR THIS STICKER TO HAVE TO BE MADE?!

2points

Steve Robert 2 years ago

Use your partner instead

2points

The Original Bruno 2 years ago

I see a lot of stickers at the gas station with Joe Biden pointing at the price and saying, "I did that," and can't help thinking, politics aside, that it'd be really funny to put that sticker pointing to this sticker.

1point

Lowrider 56 1 year ago

It's a sad state of affairs that this sign is necessary!!!

0points

Shayne Randlett 2 years ago

MAY cause injuries, but no guarantee? I like those odds...

0points

Zamein 2 years ago

There's a story that goes with this sign to explain why it is there and I'm going to hear. (Walks into the gas station)

0points

#79

Live, Laugh… What?

77points

POST

Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago

Very necessary, as one gets older.

35points

Steve Robert 2 years ago

And always check your dipstick

7points

Auntriarch 2 years ago

I'm fine thank you

1point

Jack Harris 2 years ago

That's what she said

1point

Zamein 2 years ago (edited)

You'll needs lots of it. Unless you're brave.

0points

Claire Kaplan 2 years ago

Word art I might actually want on my wall

0points

#80

Found In A Thrift Store

76points

POST

Angi 2 years ago

I don't want to love my neighbors. I barely acknowledge them unless necessary.

2points

Dickvandyke 2 years ago

That’s sad

0points

Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago

Where exactly are you expected to hang this? 🤔

1point

The Original Bruno 2 years ago

Awkward when you have the neighbors over?

0points

Terri Martin 2 years ago

Love thy neighbor but use protection.

0points

... 2 years ago

I somehow read "love thy brother"🤣

0points

RiceRiceBaby 929 2 years ago

🤦‍♀️

0points

Subrata Pradhan 2 years ago

Awesome

0points

#81

Solid Advice From My Local Bar

74points

POST

Jennlyn 2 years ago

Nothing good ever happens after 2am

23points

Missi Boness 2 years ago

I put the ball in your court Text me back I want a full report I want cash in hand

2points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

But I'm good at 1:59am, right? Right?

2points

David Green 2 years ago

Only if you're on the outside of at least three pints (or one bottle of wine for those thinking in metric)

2points

Dawn C 2 years ago

I'm old....nothing exists after 9 p.m. 😴😴😴 😂😂

1point

Jennlyn 2 years ago

You speak the truth 😂

1point

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago

Ok 1.59 it is

1point

Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago

Someone should have told me this when i was still in my 20s

1point

#82

I Wish I Had This Advice

72points

POST

fair_weather_rose 2 years ago

What happens if I get addicted to spaghetti? /s

22points

Cat Chat 2 years ago

As a spaghetti addict myself, I promise you'll be fine.

14points

Pedantic Panda 2 years ago

Just don't try to snort it.

13points

SH Holmes 2 years ago

I will be your spaghetti dealer.

11points

Laura VF 2 years ago

Maybe time to convert to the flying spaghetti monster religion

2points

Argle Bargle 2 years ago

Don't eat Mom's spaghetti

2points

Andrei Marentette 2 years ago

don't worry. All you'll do is get fat.

1point

Cedgeemo 2 years ago

Just dont try snorting it, cus itll get stuck

1point

Mrs Spigot 2 years ago

Too late....

0points

Auntriarch 2 years ago

You turn into Sophia Loren

0points

MasterProcrastinator 2 years ago

SMG4 will hire you.

0points

Littlefire097 2 years ago

Its a me Mario

3points

Moo 2 years ago

But I'm allergic to tomatoes now what? 😭

1point

The Original Bruno 2 years ago

Pastafarians. Zheesh.

0points

Terri Martin 2 years ago

Food is addictive too....

0points

#83

Cowboy Advice

70points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Dinosaurs don't squat anyway, that's for pesky monkeys

9points

TastyRex 2 years ago

Agreed.

0points

The Original Bruno 2 years ago

How do you keep your eggs warm?

0points

fair_weather_rose 2 years ago

As a vampire, I do not engage in "the exercise"

0points

Bendy 2 years ago

What about ink demons

1point

A Wild Bean 2 years ago (edited)

I would not recommend doing squats with ink demons on your shoes either /j

0points

Sven Grammersdorf 2 years ago

Specializing in Nutrition?

1point

Terri Martin 2 years ago

Don't squat with diarrhea either.

0points

Yas Stone 2 years ago

Not on point, but--Do they know what putting Specializing in Nutrition in quotes means?

0points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

*squats with spurs on* No prob

0points

#84

The Georgia Aquarium Welcome Email Has Some Solid Advice To Make Your Visit Enjoyable

69points

POST

Betta Fish 2 years ago

I want to see how many replies this can get. Say anything you want.

21points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

"Anything you want."

13points

Pheonixvatoreii 2 years ago

STAY SAFE AND HAPPY Y'ALL! HAVE A GOOD LIFE! I'M ROOTIN FOR YA!

10points

Banned_User 2 years ago (edited)

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9points

2 years ago

ethiopian mailbox pudding

9points

Cat Chat 2 years ago

Can I get the 8 hours of drugs? Mine never last that long.🤫☹️

9points

Red Panda 2 years ago

anything you want.

8points

Blurryface 2 years ago

I hope you have an amazing day, Betta Fish. :)

8points

Lil Potato 2 years ago

HUMAN KIND. BE BOTH <3

6points

ᶜʰᵃᵒᵗⁱᶜ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ 2 years ago

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

5points

ConstantlyJon 2 years ago

good luck with all your BP notifications.

5points

Evan not Hansen 2 years ago

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

5points

mira thepickle 2 years ago

gay

5points

ဗSailor Moonဗ 2 years ago

This takes too long, I give up

5points

Linda Roeleveld 2 years ago

Flowers and cockroaches

5points

ADepressedPanda 2 years ago

My dogs can climb trees, they are fine.

5points

Kona 2 years ago

Add a comment...

5points

A Wild Bean 2 years ago

*panicking and trying to come up with something funny*

4points

Potato god 2 years ago

Gay rainbows

4points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

I want anything

4points

What_the_actual_sloth? 2 years ago

YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED. AND YOU ARE LOVED, WANTED, NEEDED AND CHERISED. DONT GIVE UP. DON'T CHANGE FOR ANYONE BUT YOURSELF ❤️❤️❤️

3points

MissyKrissy 2 years ago

Fart you have to do it tomorrow and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try again so much for all the time with me to come I'm not even going on in my love and I can't get into it too late to go home to get my love I will need to do it tomorrow and get through the process was the only reason it's not too baby I'm going back inside and pick it was just trying honey mustard sauce for chicken sandwich calories off and put the toilet paper please. I'm going to be here today and tomorrow is important right now? (Just pressed the predicted text over and over.... That was oddly quite entertaining)

3points

mira thepickle 2 years ago

hamilton

3points

mira thepickle 2 years ago

dear evan hansen

3points

sociallyanxiousslug(She/Her) 2 years ago

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius (did I spell that right?)

2points

fair_weather_rose 2 years ago

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

2points

Admiral Graf Spee 2 years ago

bacon sandwiches

2points

Lil Potato 2 years ago

timmy fell down a well!

2points

theoneandonlynoira 2 years ago

Jo mama

2points

Dead lettuce 2 years ago

Oh no, Jefferey’s lost his kneecaps again!

2points

ဗSailor Moonဗ 2 years ago

B

2points

ဗSailor Moonဗ 2 years ago

A

2points

Jocie (they/them) 2 years ago

.....

2points

SH Holmes 2 years ago

I am not staying in milk, the rest seems good though.

2points

Kiss Army Premium 2 years ago

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

1point

KENOBI 2 years ago

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

1point

Jaiden 2 years ago

anything you want.

1point

TalenaBr. 2 years ago (edited)

This Comment is false

1point

Sydney Gilkerson 2 years ago

CHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHC play windrose at explorewindrose.com This was not an advertisemeCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCJCJCHHC

1point

liquid catcoon 2 years ago

⋏⍜⋏⟒ ⍜⎎ ⊬⍜⎍ ☊⏃⋏ ⍀⟒⏃⎅ ⏁⊑⟟⌇. ⏚⎍⏁ ⟟⎎ ⊬⍜⎍ ☊⏃⋏, ⊑⏃⎐⟒ ⏃ ⌰⍜⎐⟒⌰⊬ ⍀⟒⌇⏁ ⍜⎎ ⊬⍜⎍⍀ ⟒⌖⟟⌇⏁⟒⋏☊⟒ ⏃⋏⎅ ⟟ ⍙⟟⌇⊑ ⊬⍜⎍ ⍙⟒⌰⌰!

1point

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago

Udkdkykyd... Idk what to say I've been put on the spot but how is everyone, genuinely?

1point

still tired 2 years ago

¥€$

1point

RandomHumanBean 2 years ago

Stay in milk. Eat your school. Don't do sleep. Get 8 hours of drugs.

1point

RandomHumanBean 2 years ago

hi

1point

RandomHumanBean 2 years ago

anything you want.

1point

Stolas 2 years ago

my betta fish died :(

1point

BigSpaceCat 2 years ago

🎋

1point

mira thepickle 2 years ago

the lightning theif

1point

mira thepickle 2 years ago

be more chill

1point

mira thepickle 2 years ago

heathers

1point

mira thepickle 2 years ago

crayon

1point

mira thepickle 2 years ago

cannibalism

1point

mira thepickle 2 years ago

pickle

1point

mira thepickle 2 years ago

shoes

1point

mira thepickle 2 years ago

window

1point

Sophia Ramsey 2 years ago

beans

0points

Stormifyed 2 years ago

anything you want

0points

Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc 2 years ago

I'm the ALPHA FISH

0points

Henry Myers 2 years ago

How does a bàstard, orphan, son of a whòre and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten Spot in the Caribbean impoverished, in squalor, Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?

0points

Jenn C 2 years ago

Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Banana Phone!

0points

Samyan Elrod 2 years ago

im here for u bestie

0points

Shang Robin 2 years ago

Buff fbxnvxmnfbsmgh

0points

Drew 2 years ago (edited)

Are you a goldfish? Because you're a snack that smiles back. 😉

0points

weatherwitch 2 years ago

I have no idea what to say...

0points

Anon Y Mous 2 years ago

What the dog doin?

0points

Ashley Davis 2 years ago

Good luck

0points

Bo'owowo'uh 2 years ago

Crab

0points

Invisible Panda 2 years ago

1. The school tastes like c**p 2. The milk's gotten curdley. 3. Wtf is "sleep". 4. Wish I could afford 8 hrs of drugs. Lol

0points

ima cat v2 2 years ago

⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻

0points

Cassandra McTaggart 2 years ago

Why did they begin with advice to eat your milk?

4points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

Nope. Been there several times. Nothing about this is real.

2points

Littlefire097 2 years ago

In america we do Drugs to Try our best to believe that ohio doesnt exist and we eat children at school while we slowly drown in chocolate milk laced with night night pills

2points

KBT 2 years ago

Eat your milk?

1point

da bean 2 years ago

wait if it were placed right it would be eat your milk...

1point

Steve Robert 2 years ago

I'm still working on 1, 2, and 3

1point

Jes.the.Mess 2 years ago

I always get a healthy 8 hours of drugs. Sometimes even more!

1point

Andrei Marentette 2 years ago

wait, if you rearrange them, you get eat your milk. ?? Also, I'd love to get 8 hours of drugs

0points

Wendy O'Shea 2 years ago

GCATAACCGAAT

0points

#85

Solid Advice From The Local Liquor Store

66points

POST

Jennlyn 2 years ago

Damn

14points

Teresa Francis 2 years ago

🤣🤣🤣🥰🥰🥰

2points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

THAAAAANK you

1point

Sven Grammersdorf 2 years ago

Kenwood Liquors in Louisville, Kentucky

1point

amy hipps 2 years ago

Great role model

0points

Terri Martin 2 years ago

With all the voices in my head, I'm never alone.

0points

TheBadHalfofHel 2 years ago

What about my cat and dog??

0points

wfnb1 2 years ago

Or dogs

0points

Gladys Hayes Southerland 2 years ago

That's terrible advice

0points

jay <3 2 years ago

"MOOOM GIMME SOME I JUST READ AN ARTICLE TELLING ME TO!!!"

0points

#86

I'm Guessing Not Too Good

66points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Hey, we're still alive! Even flying without the need of Redbull or other caffeinated drinks 🐓

21points

Anon Y Mous 2 years ago

Thank you for making this page hilarious.

1point

Andrei Marentette 2 years ago

I NEED THOSE IN MY LIFE

0points

The Original Bruno 2 years ago

So the lesson here is that caffeine makes you brave, a lack of caffeine turns you chicken?

0points

Auntriarch 2 years ago

Nonsense, it was the smoking

1point

T J 2 years ago

Let's see....dinosaurs existed for 165 million years and humans are at around 300,000 years. Hmmm, we have some serious catching up to do

1point

Subrata Pradhan 2 years ago

that's why they became extinct ?

0points

Littlefire097 2 years ago

They crashed

0points

#87

Danger!

60points

POST

Betta Fish 2 years ago

Carefully makes sure to hit everyone on a train

14points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

Carefully uses karate to knock everyone in BP out

1point

Sarah M 2 years ago

I'm always careful!

1point

Ron Russell 2 years ago

My favorite language: Chinglish

1point

Nurichwersonst 2 years ago

You just have to shout "Mosquitooo!" before you hit them as hard as you like. You're welcome. 😇

0points

Zamein 2 years ago

They're not telling you to not do it. They're just saying if you must then be careful.

0points

#88

Found On College Desk-Best Advice Ever

59points

POST

Jen Hart 2 years ago

Oof..."shark week" is my euphemism for menstrual period 😣

44points

Surralvampi 2 years ago

That sounds like utter hell. I'd rather eat my own spleen.

2points

Kathi Schäffer 2 years ago

Not every week, oh God 😱

1point

Laura VF 2 years ago

Same...

1point

Rosie Red 2 years ago

Try not to cough or sneeze.

0points

memyselfandI 2 years ago

Live every week like it’s shark week. Be moody and irrational and boss everyone around with a perfectly good excuse.

0points

Patrick Linnen 2 years ago

Bonus points if you are no where near the water.

3points

ConstantlyJon 2 years ago

so sit in front of my tv and watch stupid documentaries all day? done.

1point

Bored&InSchool 2 years ago

live life in a stupid looking shark costume?

1point

Felicity McDonald 2 years ago

absolutely!

2points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Yes.

0points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

🦈💙

0points

Synsepalum 2 years ago

Tracy Jordan

0points

Shark Lady 2 years ago

My favourite week of the year.

0points

The Other Other White Meat 2 years ago

NO.

0points

#89

Please

59points

POST

fair_weather_rose 2 years ago

*smiles at stranger*

24points

Rainwing_Demigod 2 years ago

AAGGGGHHH!!! OH, THE HORROR!!! *faints dramatically*

10points

Jocie (they/them) 2 years ago

*screams*

5points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

*arrests you on the spot*

4points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

*smiles back at stranger*

4points

A Wild Bean 2 years ago

*awkwardly smiles back, almost waves, panics and decides you're probably looking at someone behind me*

3points

Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago

Does that mean we're dating now?

2points

Lil Potato 2 years ago

*smiles back*

2points

Andrei Marentette 2 years ago

We're strangers. You know the rules, and so do I

1point

Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago

Why not?

6points

Dickvandyke 2 years ago

Right?!

0points

Lisa McCourt 2 years ago

There are no strangers. Just friends you haven't met yet.

4points

Kathleen Hansford 2 years ago

This one makes me genuinely sad. Plenty of people out there could do with a bit of friendliness/kindness.

3points

Kat Pekin 2 years ago

Unless you wok retail and your entire career is ensuring stranger’s happiness.

3points

Lauora 2 years ago

Depressing!

3points

Gladys Hayes Southerland 2 years ago

Why???

2points

Wonderful 2 years ago

But.. I live in Texas and I smile at everyone. Damnit!!!

0points

amy hipps 2 years ago

Are we in germany? They get freaked out when women smile at them

0points

Terri Martin 2 years ago

This must be from NY lol. In Texas , we always smile and greet/ nod at strangers.

0points

#90

Dove Candy Gives Terrible Life Advice

58points

POST

Stardust she/her 2 years ago

Dove has candy? The only thing it sells here are soaps and skin care products

18points

Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago

They’re two separate companies XD they’re both allowed their trademarks on the name “Dove” as their products are in two distinctly separate categories.

15points

Printerman 2 years ago

There's also Dove chocolate. One of the few mass-produced ones in America that doesn't taste like it's 1/2 wax.

11points

StankleBerry 2 years ago

It's what we know as galaxy chocolate in the UK

5points

Mine Truly 2 years ago

THAT'S why their white chocolate tastes like soap

2points

Gladys Hayes Southerland 2 years ago

Ice cream bars, too

2points

DippityDooDerp 2 years ago

Dove Chocolate is a Mars Product. Actually pretty good chocolate tbh

2points

Nathalie Ward 2 years ago

Different Dove company

1point

Invisible Panda 2 years ago

You gotta get some, it's creamy and delicious!

1point

AlexJ 2 years ago

*opens a Dove bar* Don't eat this one.I'm the soap.

0points

Julie Zugz 2 years ago

Different Dove. Don't mix then up!

0points

The Other Other White Meat 2 years ago

For anyone confused, Mars owns Dove Chocolate... Unilever owns Dove Soap. Two different companies 😄

4points

AmaenaX 2 years ago

To wash your mouth?

0points

Donkey boi 2 years ago

Dove candy??? As in the soap company?

0points

Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago

Nope. Different company that also happens to be named Dove.

3points

#91

Some Good Life Advice Found In My College Bathroom

57points

POST

fair_weather_rose 2 years ago

So I should show my art to people on drugs?

24points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

Yes. You do that, I'll talk to the voice in the sky about buying your art

8points

Mine Truly 2 years ago

OMG, I did that once and he thought my drawing was 3D

2points

Melloro 2 years ago

Well, duh.

2points

amy hipps 2 years ago

It worked for pablo Picasso apparently

1point

Jenn C 2 years ago

Or should you show people your art while you're on drugs?

1point

Lousha 2 years ago

So as for the boys, should I not kiss them while I'm wearing the lip gloss or while they are?

6points

Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago

Pretty sure neither of those are going to be OK for a girl to do.

1point

Erin Ward 2 years ago

Exact same question. Either way there will be proof?

0points

Mickeynsync 2 years ago

I was thinking the same thing 🤔. It definitely can go either way.

0points

Ela 2 years ago

What if I kind of like boys with sparkly lipstick? I will kiss who I want! (With their approval of course.)

4points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago

it's called "evidence". A bit like fabric softener and excessive perfume. /jk.

0points

beethebi 2 years ago

yeah guys please don't eat bees.

4points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago

But how about kissing girls with sparkly lipstick

3points

Esme Weatherwax 2 years ago

A veritable work of literary genius

3points

HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago

But if you don’t talk to the voice in the sky, one of us are gonna be sad

2points

Adrian 2 years ago

So, not understanding the difference between the plural and possessive starts young...

1point

Apatheist Account2 2 years ago

Do not bother to learn grammar or spelling.

1point

TGHW 2 years ago

But I loooove boys with sparkly lipstick!

0points

#92

Well That's A Little Harsh... But No Better Advice I Suppose

55points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Why didn't I think of this? /s

24points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

When all else fails, take a medicine that judges and shames you

5points

Kimba 2 years ago

Those are the warnings on the bottle of pills for acid reflux. The last few bullet points are tips on how to reduce and/or prevent reflux. Source: I have reflux and take these pills as needed.

3points

MissyKrissy 2 years ago

I just checked my acid reducer bottle.... Says the same thing. I laughed so hard I farted.

2points

Z Alexi 2 years ago

Famotidine is my heartburn pills...my bottles don't have this advice. What does "Raise the head of your bed" mean? My doc told me my pillow shouldn't be high; my dermatologist said a high pillow causes double chins.

0points

The Original Bruno 2 years ago

Famotodine is for heartburn. Especially makes sense.

0points

rs_adahl1971 2 years ago

Let's just not eat anything. And if you're overweight like I can we don't need a reminder. Thanks

0points

#93

Gave My So Some Advice: Brush Your Teeth Before Applying Lipstick

53points

POST

Magpie 2 years ago

She needs to change the head on that toothbrush.

4points

Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago

This guy lives with his superior officer?

1point

Jennlyn 2 years ago

Omg, I thought that was blood at first

1point

Erin Ward 2 years ago

Same I was rather worried about their brushing habits. Don't brush so hard!

0points

Rosie Red 2 years ago

I think it's time to replace the toothbrush head.

0points

The Queen 2 years ago

Change the brush, please.

0points

Mickeynsync 2 years ago

That toothbrush is trash. Definitely needs replacing.

0points

Arky Gamalan 2 years ago

What are you? Vampire?

0points

An Unpopular Opinion. 2 years ago

I do that a lot by mistake when I'm in a hurry XD

0points

#94

Who Hurt Him? Although Not Bad Advice

52points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Playing games is stupid, just my opinion

44points

Printerman 2 years ago

True, but dialing someone while driving on the highway can be more so.

10points

Lawrencium 2 years ago

🎮 *puts controller down* Aww...

4points

Jennlyn 2 years ago

This! ☝️

1point

Lauora 2 years ago

Its meant as a joke prompt to stop you using your phone whilst driving. Not sure the highway agency is truly interested in our love life philosophy! That being said, I agree with Feathered Dinosaur

5points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Omg I was too dense to figure that out lol

3points

Z Alexi 2 years ago

Playing games is for juveniles~~adults act like they're educated & civilized...& know how to socialize & have a conversation. Some ugly guy wrote this garbage, obviously. Aaack!

0points

Christina Keenan 2 years ago

Who says this is a him? Could be a her...

0points

Jack Harris 2 years ago

Which state is paying for this? Well done.

0points

Christopher Barnhouse 2 years ago

Playing hard to get = hard to want

0points

#95

At My Nieces Hs Grad Party, They Had A Box For "Life Advice". This Is All I Really Know

50points

POST

DebB 2 years ago

Drink water (a lot) + aspiren before going to sleep is best

1point

Ches Yamada 2 years ago

Yeah, any greasy food + hydrating + painkillers.

1point

Tara Twothumbs 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

M J 2 years ago

Hair of the dog...

0points

Auntriarch 2 years ago

Gaviscon and half a watermelon

0points

Array Index Out of Bounds 2 years ago

How can one even THINK about food with a hangover?

0points

Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago

Valuable advice

0points

just me 2 years ago

Pickle juice works wonders, too

0points

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Or the combo to make one throw up 🤢

0points

#96

Good Advice

49points

POST

Steve Robert 2 years ago

And then cuddle and go to sleep

19points

bottomless.abyss.of.bordem 2 years ago

That's not what that logo is telling me

0points

Random Guy 2 years ago

Nut allergy advice

2points

Demosthenes 2 years ago

Blows my mind that somebody actually took a Gideons New Testament home

1point

Rylosalex 2 years ago

Are those actual last names? Nutt and Backoff?

0points

#97

Good Thing I’m Not A Bus Driver

48points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Or a medical doctor in the middle of a surgery...

14points

Marek Čtrnáct 2 years ago

Or a fisherman, a miner, any sort of food worker...

2points

Pat Head 2 years ago

Not great advice if you're hump shunting at the railyard.

2points

Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago

"But that's why I'm feeling down, I work in the homicide division!"

1point

Steven Pike 2 years ago

Or a volcano inspector

0points

Birb 2 years ago

No thanks

0points

Terri Martin 2 years ago

Bad advice for fireman.

0points

Michael Smith 2 years ago

"But I'm a meat grinder!"

0points

The Other Other White Meat 2 years ago

I would rather throw myself off a bridge, but thanks 😊

0points

nooneimportant 2 years ago

ew no

0points

#98

Sometimes "Sheetz" Gives Life Advice

44points

POST

Carlos 2 years ago

oh you naughty little..

11points

Random Guy 2 years ago

haha lol

4points

Dickvandyke 2 years ago

That’s what she said

3points

Yuffa Kinazzo 2 years ago

Hahaha

1point

ConstantlyJon 2 years ago

as a former employee of Sheetz, they think they are so edgy with using punny versions of their name and making little signs like that. They do this kind of thing all the time. It’s like a corporate dad joke.

3points

Christopher Barnhouse 2 years ago

I've never washed a banana

3points

Michael Largey 2 years ago

You have to wash bananas - to get rid of the scale.

1point

Birb 2 years ago

Banana

0points

Settled for Infamy 2 years ago

Oh the convenience, if we could just peel to prepare for being consumed 😜

0points

#99

Some Solid Advice From The Bathroom Stall Today

44points

POST

Jes.the.Mess 2 years ago

At the same time?

18points

Silvermidnight 2 years ago

Yes :) *does ham while eating pushups*

7points

Rainwing_Demigod 2 years ago

*eats ham while doing a pushup* *chokes*

1point

Subrata Pradhan 2 years ago

Ham is good.

0points

#100

Life Advice On A Train

43points

POST

Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago

Hump shunted sounds... interesting

6points

Shayne Randlett 2 years ago

If I choose to be hump shunted, who are you criticize? Don't kink shame me...

0points

Gladys Hayes Southerland 2 years ago

What is hump shunted??

0points

M O'Connell 2 years ago

When a freight train enters a railyard, the train is dispersed one car at a time to many different tracks to form up trains going to different destinations. The "hump" is literally a small raised area. When a car with its brakes released is uncoupled at the top of the "hump" gravity propels it through whatever series of switches it needs to pass through to get to where it needs to be. This car cannot be hump shunted, either because it contains hazardous materials, or for some other reason it cannot be roughly handled and should be moved under power. An example being a crew car that may have people sleeping in it.

2points