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Don't you even pretend that you've never used a fake excuse to leave work early, end a date, or justify why you haven't done your homework. And while some perhaps use somewhat believable work excuses for being late, such as being stuck in traffic when you simply wanted to get some extra Zzzs, some reasons can get pretty... ridiculous.
While some funny fake excuses may be believable to some level, sometimes, reasons to skip work get so outlandish that they surprise even the ones who have heard it all, aka the HR department. The most ridiculous, stupid excuses people have come up with just show the power of human imagination. However, the dilemma with funny excuses is that if the reason is legit (because sometimes you really do get drunk by accident), do you say the actual cause or come up with a more plausible explanation? Just some food for thought.
However, this is not it if you are looking for a list of excuses to help you pull off a sickie or bulletproof excuses to get out of work. Below, we've compiled a list of funny excuses for missing work that likely were a little too far-fetched and didn't assure a day off. Have you ever used a fake reason to skip work? Or perhaps you work in HR and hear the lamest excuses to get out of work regularly? Let us know!
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#1
New Boss in Charge: Playtime Now
I have a new puppy and I need to play with him.
RELATED:
#2
Guess I’m a landlord now
A random man broke in last night and he’s asleep on my couch.
#4
Mood: Hydrated or Drunk?
I accidentally downed a rum and coke this morning, thinking it was just coke.
#5
Not Your Average Study Buddy
I have issues and Spiderman is coming over to solve them. Can’t go to school.
#8
Pet’s orders, not suggestions
My dog asked me to stay home.
#9
Guess Who’s Having A Ruff Day
My dog’s depressed.
#10
Well, that escalated quickly
I fell over in the shower and knocked myself out.
𝖊𝖆 3 years ago
I used to fall in the shower a lot (and up/down stairs, or pass out after going up stairs) due to an undiagnosed medical condition. Was always covered in bruises and it used to make me late for work a lot. My boss didn’t believe me at first and would say things like you said that last time. Ended up just showering at night to try and make sure I wouldn’t have any accidents in the morning!
#13
Dumpster diving, but make it personal
An employee’s wife found out he was cheating, and he had to spend the day retrieving his belongings from the dumpster.
#15
Plot twist: Bathroom edition
I was in the loo and my legs fell asleep. When I stood up, I fell and broke my ankle.
#16
Guess Thieves Come in Fur, Too
A fox stole my car keys while I was asleep.
#17
Not crying, just prepping for goodbye fever
I had a dream that my cat died and now I’m afraid to leave her.
Sparkysheep 2 years ago
😢 this happened to me.. my mom told me to go back to sleep, that it was just a nightmare, but it wasn't. Not entirely anyway..
#20
Plot twist: It’s Not Saturday
I thought it was Saturday today.
#21
Unexpected street-side hero moment
A lady was giving birth on the street and I had to help her.
#24
Well, This Escalated Quickly
A cow broke into my house and I’m waiting for the insurance man.
#25
Plot twist: priest’s just here for coffee
We think the house is haunted so we’ve called a priest.
Flora Wolfskill 1 year ago
I mean it's not exactly an lie If it's true only lie is that we are calling a priest
#26
Patience Pays Off (Literally)
I need a few hours to get the alcohol in my blood down to a legal level.
#27
Lost, But Make It A Vibe
I don’t know where I am.
𝖊𝖆 3 years ago (edited)
Guilty, get anxious in big car parks and always forget where I park. It’s like a face blindness thing but with landmarks if that makes sense? Nothing looks familiar and I get confused. So now if going to regular places I always try and park in the same space as a routine. Anyway. Once had a massive panic attack at a multi-storey and couldn’t remember which floor I’d parked on, ended up being nearly an hour late back from lunch and in a right old state 🤦🏻♀️ Learned a lesson, if it’s a new place I take a photo of where or what level i parked on!
#30
Well, that escalated quickly
An employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.
#31
Overachiever Level: Sandwich Rescue
An employee broke his arm reaching to grab a falling sandwich.
#32
Wait, Why Was He The Uncle Again?
An employee had to attend the funeral of his wife’s cousin’s pet because he was an uncle and pallbearer.
#33
Mood too good to mess with
An employee woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.
#34
When HR says “stay off the grass” but you gotta mow it anyway
An employee had to mow the lawn to avoid a lawsuit from the Homeowners’ Association.
#35
“Plot Twist: Caught in the Crossfire”
An employee was blocked in by police raiding her home.
#36
Plot twist: Turtle’s got an appointment too
An employee has to take his pet turtle to visit the exotic animal clinic.
#38
Work From Couch? Nailed It.
An employee was at their office but fell asleep in the parking lot.
#41
Plot twist: It was just my anxiety
I thought I was being followed so I drove to the police station.
#45
Of course not how I planned my week
I broke my little toe.
#48
Plot twist: roommate’s a croc
There’s a crocodile in my house.
#53
When Your Car Turns Into a Bee Party
A swarm of bees surrounded my car so I couldn’t get in it.
#55
Plot Twist: Not My Birthday Either
It’s my unbirthday!
#57
When “Work From Home” Gets Literal
An employee said that someone glued her doors and windows shut so she couldn’t leave the house to come to work.
#58
Okay, that’s a new tire excuse
An employee claimed the ozone in the air flattened his tires.
#60
When Your Kid’s Mischief Becomes ER Level
An employee’s child stuck a mint up his nose and had to go to the ER to remove it.
#61
Garage Sale Hangover, Anyone?
An employee had a headache after going to too many garage sales.
#64
When Google Becomes Your Doctor
An employee had a gall stone they wanted to heal holistically.
#66
Mom’s way of working from home
An employee couldn’t come to work because their mother locked them in a closet.
#67
Sunrise Detour Energy Boost
An employee thought the sunrise was so beautiful that they had to stop and take it in.
#69
Subtly Tortured by Coffee
An employee’s coffee was too hot and they couldn’t leave until it cooled off.
#70
Well, There Goes My Commute
Somebody stole my car’s wheels.
Nicky Hands 3 years ago
You think this is a joke? In 2002 I was heavily pregnant with my 1st child, I wake up to my neighbour screaming hysterically that someone had stolen his wheels! I get managed to get up and waddle to the front door to see his little VW CitiGolf on bricks 🤣😂🤣😂🤣 we lived in a security estate with guards patrolling.....
#73
Lost but not forgotten
Grandma has lost her glasses and she needs me.
#75
Well, That Escalated Quickly
An employee couldn’t come in because his llama wouldn’t stop barfing.
#76
Plot twist: Blame the psychic
The employee said that he couldn’t come to work because his fortune-teller had asked him not to step out of the house or he would suffer a brain hemorrhage.
#77
Mood: Disturbed but still employed
An employee was feeling too upset after watching “The Hunger Games.”
#78
Plot twist: Morning sickness isn’t just for moms
A male employee claimed he had morning sickness.
#79
Stop, did that just float by?
I saw a UFO and I had to stop and observe it.
#81
Guess Who Skipped Breakfast Again
My mom didn’t give me breakfast so I waited till lunch time.
#85
Well, that escalated quickly
My (soon-to-be-ex) wife is burning all of my possessions on the front lawn.
#86
I Can’t Be the Only One This Happened To
An employee called in sick because he ate cat food instead of tuna and was deathly ill.
#87
Plot twist: dentures on the loose
An employee’s false teeth flew out the window while driving down the highway.
#88
An employee was experiencing traumatic stress from a large spider found in her home and had to stay home to deal with it.
#89
Microwaving clothes: hazard unlocked
An employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.
#90
Well, that took a dark turn
An employee’s dead grandmother was being exhumed for a police investigation.
#92
Well, that’s one way to stay put
The employee insisted he’d locked himself in his house by mistake and that the house did not have any windows to crawl out of.
#95
Plot Twist: Wrong Job, Right Address
An employee accidentally drove to their former employer’s location even though they haven’t worked there for five years.
#98
Guess I’m calling in sick forever
Jack Duckworth died in Corrie last night and I’m in no fit state to face work.
#99
When Moisturizer Becomes a Gas Station Hazard
I went to get petrol but I couldn’t get the cap off because my hands are too moisturized, so I had to call my boyfriend to come and do it for me.
#103
Begging for a Monday miracle, confirmed
An employee had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.
#105
Nailed the effort, not the flavor
An employee said the meal he cooked for a department potluck didn’t turn out well.
#107
Commitment level: expert
An employee called in sick from a bar at 5:00 p.m. the night before.
#109
Kids: The Original Time Hackers
An employee was late because they overslept because their kids changed all the clocks in the house.
#110
Waiting on pizza like it’s a final exam
An employee ordered a pizza that was late being delivered, and they had to be home to accept/pay for it.
#111
Still Waiting, Definitely Chilling
I was waiting for an engineer to come round and service my boiler.
#112
Guess My Uber Crawl
I ordered a taxi but it arrived over 20 minutes late.
#113
When Free Coffee Means Free Patience Test
There was a free giveaway at Costa Coffee but the line was really long.
#115
Procrastination Level: Expert
The teacher gave enough homework for the whole week. I’ll go next week now.
#119
Guess who paid for last night’s snacks?
Something at that party last night must have set my tummy off.
#121
Work meeting or Euro cup final?
An employee said he had to watch a soccer game that was being played in Europe.
#122
Oops, Mom’s Cooking Wins Again
An employee said his mother made his favorite dish and he ate too much.
#123
\"Blame It on the Breeze\"
An employee said the wind blew the deck off their house.
#124
Can’t Say No to Cheese
An employee was offered a grilled cheese sandwich and couldn’t say no.
#125
Plot twist: Astrology beats GPS
An employee was an hour late because an astrologer warned them of a car accident on a major highway, so they took all backroads.
#126
Classic “dog ate my homework” energy
An employee claims their dog ate their work schedule.
Sparkysheep 2 years ago
My dog literally ate my homework once. God that was embarrassing. They all laughed so I showed them the paper. Someone even claimed I had my dog eat it on purpose 😤. Like I'd do that to my babies!
What do you think ?
sweet emotion 1 year ago
Many years ago, a woman in my office called in and told her boss that she had confused nail glue for her contact lens solution. Even the must gullible manager on the floor laughed at that one.
sweet emotion 1 year ago
Many years ago, a woman in my office called in and told her boss that she had confused nail glue for her contact lens solution. Even the must gullible manager on the floor laughed at that one.
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