The English language is a mystery to all of us, whether you've been speaking it since day one, or you've just started to learn it. From its bizarre spelling rules to its free-for-all grammar, it's a daily struggle just trying to form sentences that make sense. No wonder people are turning to emoji to express their thoughts, rather than coping with some weird English words.

Unless you live in the Tibetan mountains or belong to an Amazonian tribe, you've definitely come across English grammar in use. It's the most widely-studied language in the world, making it a connecting word between countries, and even continents. Thanks to the rise of American power and influence, English has spread like wildfire across the globe through movies, music, and literature. That doesn't mean it's any walk in the park.

Have a look at some of the most frustrating moments English grammar has brought us below; you don't have to search a long way for funny jokes, as they're all there, in the common usage of English. And don't forget to check out our similar posts on French and German, they might be even better than these funny jokes in English.

#1

English Language

shadowwraiths Report

Intensive Panda
Community Member
3 years ago

and it makes a whole different sentence every time

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#2

English Language

iowahawkblog Report

Yvonne Bernal
Community Member
3 years ago

They should have said “I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. Upon the slitted sheet I sit"

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#3

English Language

mattandersonbbc Report

Hans
Community Member
3 years ago

Never thought about it. Awesomely old straight vivid logic.

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#4

English Language

just-shower-thoughts Report

Hans
Community Member
3 years ago

At least it will make "boom" if you are not careful.

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#5

English Language

Report

Carlota Ocón
Community Member
3 years ago

In spanish we don't say ananas, we say piña

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#6

English Language

languagelinguistics Report

Hans
Community Member
3 years ago

Well, isn't this the case with many words? Like terrific, or also awful. an aweful beach, to my understanding is one that you do not want to visit, while you definitely want to hand out on an awefully great beach. An if you hear of a terrific beach, you better ask twice. Any native speakers here to explain? Even though I am afraid this might even be different in AE and BE.

Joan Huffman
Community Member
3 years ago

In AE terrific is mostly a positive, while awful is mostly negative. Most people are not even aware of that they are contronyms. Awfully is used to mean very, and awesome is good. Most people don't even notice the split nature of these words. Terror-bad, terrific-good, terrible-bad, terribly-very. As most Americans don't learn a second language, one hardly ever reads a dictionary.

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Lance d'Boyle
Community Member
3 years ago

Flammable and inflammable. I think these words originally were opposites but due to general stupidity and illiteracy they got conflated. We should keep a watch on literally and figuratively because they seem on the way to merging.

Amy Tarleton
Community Member
3 years ago

Nooooo!!!! I hate when people use literally to mean figuratively! It's just wrong.

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SylvaCrow
Community Member
3 years ago

It seems like this has recently happened to the word 'literally'.

Notchimine Mette
Community Member
3 years ago

I have never known "peruse" to mean anything other than "read very carefully".

criminalgirl
Community Member
3 years ago

Not me, "peruse" means to read in a leisurely manner.

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Long Joan Silver
Community Member
3 years ago

This one is by far, my favourite. I laughed the entire time I read this. Thank you for the morning laugh and for taking my mind off crappy stress!

Lauren Mitchell
Community Member
3 years ago

"All of you go to hell" and "...we're such sarcastic shits it literally changed our language." 😂😂😂 amazing!

Steve Halpern
Community Member
3 years ago

Similar is "sanction" Means opposites.

Katie Jamberri Nails
Community Member
3 years ago

I love this! Why isn't this #1?

Martha Donaldson
Community Member
3 years ago

Like ADMIT: to let out (confess) and let IN!

Tabitha Trevino
Community Member
3 years ago

New meaning to miscommunications start to wars

Susanna Vesna
Community Member
3 years ago

I love the conversation! Hahaha

Rocket Launcher America
Community Member
7 months ago

TOO LONG DIDNT READ

Sophia Cai
Community Member
1 year ago

"Thanks a lot" :(

John Barach-Sr
Community Member
2 years ago

CLEAVE: means to cling to OR ITS OPPOSITE to cut apart

John O'Brien
Community Member
2 years ago

I sanction this post.

Myrna Taylor
Community Member
2 years ago

YES!!

Myrna Taylor
Community Member
2 years ago

YES!!!

Eric Stockslager
Community Member
2 years ago

what about original?wouldn't that count as one of these?as in he was originally a true original..lol...what an original idea for a way to show the origin of the original thought ...I'm glad to have a word to call these stupid things now.Contronyms. They are baffling and ridiculous.

Mark
Community Member
2 years ago

Cleave

Elwyn Round
Community Member
2 years ago

awesome

Wendy Lamb
Community Member
2 years ago

Aloha everybody! 🤣

Heather Loftus
Community Member
2 years ago

And Hans, it's 'awful' no e and 'and' not an.

Heather Loftus
Community Member
2 years ago

There is no such thing as American English.

Ron Ke
Community Member
2 years ago

American English has different spellings than British or even Canadian English. We write behavior vs the British behaviour, program vs. The British programme, center vs. centre, etc. The list goes on. And besides spelling, British meanings are different. In American English, "bloody" means covered in blood while in British English it's a slang. All English dictionaries recognize that there is a difference between American and British English because they have evolved over the years. Yes, both English, but there is such a thing as American English.

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EvieNiffler
Community Member
2 years ago

My favourites are 'supernatural' and 'extraordinary'. Put a space in and it becomes the opposite xD

Steven Rundle
Community Member
2 years ago

Fantastic, Terrible, Awesome... all of these words can be extremely good or extremely bad.

Mary Kavanagh
Community Member
2 years ago

Cleave: "A man must leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife", Jesus "The chef used the heavy knife to cleave the chicken in half", my sentence

tessellater
Community Member
3 years ago

Literally: in a literal manner or sense; exactly. Literally: used for emphasis or to express strong feeling while not being literally true.

Rob Britt
Community Member
3 years ago

Who's Bad?

Meredith Bratt
Community Member
3 years ago

Sick info.

Purujeet Parida
Community Member
3 years ago

I ought to cleave the head of whoever cleaved this list

Magpie
Community Member
3 years ago

Lately I see people using the word "sick" to be "that's great / good " ........

Jessica Westbrook
Community Member
3 years ago

Just looks like context or sarcasm to me.

endelbendel
Community Member
3 years ago

Ans. They 'fucking' exist bc language is beautiful and truth is negative.

artcatcms
Community Member
3 years ago

Tigers don't roar...they chuff! Third meaning....and btw with the grand array of words available to those of us who speak English......must you constantly fall back on the 'f' word to attempt to get your point across?

jerry kelk
Community Member
3 years ago

Flammable Inflammable Discuss

Marian Morgan
Community Member
3 years ago

I don't understand the list in number 6.

bork_laser
Community Member
3 years ago

literally

Edwin Lesperance
Community Member
3 years ago

😆

Long Joan Silver
Community Member
3 years ago

I laughed the entire time whilst I was reading this. Thank you for the morning laugh!

Marty BlackEagle-Carl
Community Member
3 years ago

and Rapers thought they just started doing that in the 90's. haahahahaha

bork_laser
Community Member
3 years ago

racers have been around much longer than that.

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Julia NotMyLastname
Community Member
3 years ago

Awful used to mean good, like full of awe. Lots of other words changed their meaning, look it up

Shannon Tegart
Community Member
3 years ago

This is great!

Rachael Pollard
Community Member
3 years ago

Could be that the island of Albion. Bein conquered by all possible conquerers of ancient times inherited a mixture so infused of diverse language dialect ecetera. The result a bastard language as is ...

Nandy Dickman
Community Member
3 years ago

Bi-monthly, fortnightly or every second month really bugs me.

Gemma Spurr
Community Member
3 years ago

I'm English & work for a global company & we are taught about this for ensuring we communicate with non-native English speakers effectively

Pobin Rice
Community Member
3 years ago

Ring that's another...... good isn't it

Maggie Carroll
Community Member
3 years ago

'Cleave' has two opposite meanings...

Lorraine
Community Member
3 years ago

Brilliant!

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#7

English Language

thessalian Report

Vanessa
Community Member
3 years ago

kinda happen with all languages?

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#8

English Language

ikimaru Report

Hans
Community Member
3 years ago

We happy that they did not use emoticon precursors.

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#9

English Language

gracieness Report

Yvonne Bernal
Community Member
3 years ago

Sometimes we spell it "baloney" - And baloney and money don't rhyme either (sigh)

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#10

English Language

laslanguesromanze Report

Claudia Machado
Community Member
3 years ago

Queue is a queue where Q is the first and the others are waiting in queue for their chance to appear.

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#11

English Language

dismal-dragon Report

Evelim C
Community Member
3 years ago

Just as the word "eleven". Someone please tell Americans to choose one sound? Brasilians have to many words but at least we know how to pronnounce them. .-.

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#12

English Language

englishmajorhumor Report

Yvonne Bernal
Community Member
3 years ago

I read that with a pirate accent - Did you? lol

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#13

English Language

libbylumos Report

Daria B
Community Member
3 years ago

Also: read (rid) → present tense; read (red) → past tense.

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#14

English Language

castiel-knight-of-hell Report

Silent Skeleton
Community Member
3 years ago

AAAH NO

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#15

English Language

mckillington Report

Olivia W
Community Member
3 years ago

Thou shalt shit you not

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#16

English Language

andymientears Report

Hans
Community Member
3 years ago

Oh, if you still are interested in that, just find a German class nearby. The good thing is, the more weird languages you learn, you more you appreciate if you come across languages that lack the irregularities where you expected them from experience.

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#17

English Language

crimsun Report

ADHORTATOR
Community Member
3 years ago

ok, I' ll take this one to english class next week

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#18

English Language

night-fury-pamphlets Report

Hans
Community Member
3 years ago

Nightmare for copy editors.

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#19

English Language

egberts Report

Gemma Ereza Ferrie
Community Member
3 years ago

This is why it's so important to get kids reading books. I read each of these sentences fine, without confusion through context. Close reading is key to communication and the English language.

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#20

English Language

pilgrimkitty Report

Paweł Pawlicki
Community Member
3 years ago

If English beats up other languages in dark alleys, Polish must be Batman or some f-ing ninja. arOAPm6_70...c7e2b1.jpg arOAPm6_700b-58a30e0c7e2b1.jpg

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#21

English Language

madlori Report

Hans
Community Member
3 years ago

Same with many, many abbreviations. In many, many other languags. Alas.

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#22

English Language

coremander Report

--
Community Member
3 years ago

awwh

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#23

English Language

therainbowcadaver Report

Crystal Pruitt
Community Member
3 years ago

Like the word happiness. Ha-penis. Thank you Peggy Hill.

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#24

English Language

shortee Report

Yvonne Bernal
Community Member
3 years ago

Drink milk and solve the whole problem!

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#25

English Language

burnttoastmaster Report

Lucie Molnarova
Community Member
3 years ago

I'm learning english as my third language and this just messed me up so bad

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#26

English Language

archaeaeon-blog Report

Yvonne Bernal
Community Member
3 years ago

I C U 2

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#27

English Language

PixieDustAuthor Report

Notchimine Mette
Community Member
3 years ago

Is that Welsh? It looks Welsh...

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#28

English Language

kvotheunkvothe Report

Paweł Pawlicki
Community Member
3 years ago

Push the record button to record.

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#29

English Language

Report

Intensive Panda
Community Member
3 years ago

always wondering why even native speakers don't know the difference. Also: if you're unsure about "affect" or "effect" just use "impact" :D

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#30

English Language

sahondwich-shahop Report

Thor Sten
Community Member
3 years ago

Well, linguistically speaking: AE is an older form of English that had less influence from neighboring languages.

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#31

English Language

transcendantalismsm Report

Yvonne Bernal
Community Member
3 years ago

I know it works GREAT with "spring ahead and fall back" - in reference to Daylight savings time reminders as to which way to set the clocks (forward or backward)

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#32

English Language

joyheartsyou Report

Amy-Louise Jack
Community Member
3 years ago

Smith doesn't look like a word anymore

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#33

English Language

linguisticsyall Report

Hans
Community Member
3 years ago

I think it is amazing to see how closely many languages are intertwined. Therefore, people talking about "supremacy" of languages will often have no clue. On the other hand, other language families are quite fascinating in comparison, particularly if you consider the "efficiency" of saying something. And then, having isolated non-related languages (like Basque) are truly fascinating.

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#34

English Language

tweakerwolf Report

Amanda Javorsky
Community Member
3 years ago

Oh, my god! That's awesome!

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#35

English Language

mrloria Report

Master Markus
Community Member
3 years ago

Eggplants were called that because the variety first introduced to the Europeans looked like an egg (you can see them if you look it up, they're white), pineapple was called that because it looks like a pine cone and "apple" was a generic word for "fruit", hamburger is from the "Hamburg steak" which is a kind of ground beef dish. Here are theories about the "guinea pig": http://www.grammarphobia.com/blog/2009/12/how-did-the-guinea-pig-get-its-name.html

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#36

English Language

maskedlinguist Report

Elaine Everett-Klimas
Community Member
3 years ago

This is a problem because you're only using the first half of the quote. The FULL quote is " i before e except after c when it rhymes with d " Now, I think, you will find it works without fail. You're welcome.

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#37

English Language

just-shower-thoughts Report

Pi...
Community Member
3 years ago

We say brinjal instead of eggplant...

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#38

English Language

mambloo Report

ADHORTATOR
Community Member
3 years ago

where can I order this?

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#39

English Language

thedailylaughs Report

Grace Barclay
Community Member
3 years ago

Except that spelt is "hulled wheat".

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#40

English Language

MyopiaPod Report

Intensive Panda
Community Member
3 years ago

now enter "ajar jarjar in a jar in an ajar jar" in google translator and click on "pronounce" 🤣😂🤣

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#41

English Language

stitched-spade Report

Smoofy
Community Member
3 years ago

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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#42

English Language

Mlle Karensac Report

ADHORTATOR
Community Member
3 years ago

Ah oui, c' est comme ca pour les francais...

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#43

English Language

theoatmeal Report

Erza
Community Member
3 years ago

OMG I dreamt I did that last one once.

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#44

English Language

fangirlbc Report

criminalgirl
Community Member
3 years ago

tittynope????

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#45

English Language

heliager Report

Joseph Pensak
Community Member
3 years ago

Gh, however, is never pronounced as F at the beginning of a word.

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#46

English Language

innocenceontheoutside Report

Denzel James Lim
Community Member
3 years ago

Fuck you

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#47

English Language

kilihasparasites Report

Thomas Hobbs
Community Member
2 years ago

You should read "polish" as "polish", but don't read "polish" as "Polish", or "Polish" as "polish"..

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#48

English Language

ernstills Report

Your Friendly Neighbourhood Panda
Community Member
3 years ago

I think about this too all the time! I've decided that instead of "Why can't you" being "Why can not you," it means "Why can you not," despite the basic grammar rules being weird. I guess it's just implied?

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#49

English Language

ijustwanttohugdavidtennant Report

Skunk Drunk
Community Member
3 years ago

Text can only convey so much...

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#50

English Language

moonmaven Report

Daria B
Community Member
3 years ago

Yeah, let's call them just "mon".

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#51

English Language

booklover223 Report

Jessica Westbrook
Community Member
3 years ago

That also depends on accent. I'll isn't pronunced the same as aisle and isle where I'm from on the States.

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#52

English Language

funny-text-posts Report

rai mei
Community Member
3 years ago

it's weird cause in our language had-had means tinea cruris in medical terms. hahaha

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#53

English Language

rieriebee Report

Tiny Dynamine
Community Member
3 years ago

Three quarters! FFS

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#54

English Language

cassidy-peterson Report

Christina McIsaac
Community Member
3 years ago

"All the faith he had had had had no effect on the outcome of his life."

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#55

English Language

memearchives Report

Joseph Kovacs
Community Member
3 years ago

I feel like most languages probably have this. In Spanish it's "rickrollear".

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#56

English Language

Mike Snyder Report

Collin Cantrell
Community Member
3 years ago

Am I the only one who thought 13 had more to do with the usage of "to" vs "too" than pronouncing close?

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#57

English Language

nopathfollowed Report

Lucia Diaconu
Community Member
3 years ago

I read: I cut who I cut.... :-s

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#58

English Language

yahel Report

Daria B
Community Member
3 years ago

Meh, most of these aren't even English words. Yep! I'm petty and snobby.

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